This podcast is going to massive I just KNOW

As a black person I have been and currently in three polyamorous relationships one for over 10 years one for seven years and one for nine years and not all are sexual. I agree with a lot of the points that you made about the hook up culture reshaping itself and using the word polyamory but the reality of what polyamory is was completely correct in my mind when you said communication and healing. I do see a therapist regularly for myself and I do my best to be aware of my partners needs as a three dimensional person that I can support because BOUNDARIES!

The guy's criticism of polyamory reads so similarly to a straight homophobic person trying to talk politely about homosexuality. Talks of virtue, of commitment issues, of right and wrong. But for the genuine polyamorists in the world, it is just a matter of preference. What is sustainable about being an author or a painter instead of having a family? Same difference. In polyamory, genuine serious polyamory as opposed to hookup culture, a lot of intense emotional communication does take place to reassure and support one another and address flaws such as insecurity, hyperconsumerism, etc.. Arguably more than in a monogamous relationship. To say they lack commitment is perhaps more of a projection of one's own inability. After all, he is monogamous, he cannot fathom the personal strength and flexibility needed to exist peacefully within a polycule. It probably sounds like a chore or juggle to him, but for others, it is how they most easily breath. Just as asexuals can thrive and live fulfilling lives without ever experiencing an orgasm and should not be deemed lesser for it.

Y'all should read The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. They outline a lot of the romantic tensions you consider including hierarchy and time management. Non-monogymy is arguably older than monogamy. New anthropological discoveries link the rise of monogamy to the agricultural revolution when owning property and land and women as reproductive objects became important. Sex at Dawn by Cacilda Jethá and Christopher Ryan outlines the science behind our evolving understanding of how human relationships operated in prehistory.

these conversations are so necessary and both of your abilities to coherently walk through so many concept are beautiful... like this level of awareness and connection is often times so lost, but thank you for showing up online in this way and proving that there's still space in the world for conversations like these!!

I totally agree with the idea that most people are just afraid to be alone - romantic relationships are too heavily prioritized in our society. But couldn’t get past the conflation of polyamory with consumerism. I can definitely see a lot of people resulting to polyamory because of that but a distinction needs to be made - polyamory has been around ethically for so many cultures before settler colonialism. And everyone I know in a polyamorous relationship does it for the “good” reasons you’ve stated (and also don’t operate in a hierarchical way) - perhaps you have some bad examples around you? Monogamy and the nuclear family is the tool of patriarchy and capitalism. And I agree with your point that if we can have multiple friendships why not multiple romantic relations? I also agree with the need to look inward and being responsible/communicative.

This podcast was fulfilling to my soul

Love the visual! More of this please hehe 😃 ❤️❤️❤️

My one critique so far on the poly discourse here is, Polyamory is something that existed pre colonization, i do believe polyamory has become a safe space due to peoples fear of lack, however the practice itself is not a product of anything. What we are looking at is in fact a lack of accountability for the role we play in peoples lives and collecting them for security, much like monogamy did once upon a time

The late stage capitalism and modern romance correlations are crazy man!!! Like I’m really at a loss of words 😭

Ohhhh why didn’t I know before this is on yt !! Love the full lengths deep convos sm

i don't understand how so many people see arguing or having a fight as an inherent inevitable thing every relationship has to go through at some point. i understand that many do, but it is not a rule and it is not a sign of love. it's just a sign of poor communication and lack of emotional maturity from one or both sides. but especially if you go into romantic relationships with the mindset of looking forward to your first fight essentially, of course it's going to come to that. you breathe it into existence because you think it's normal and how things are "supposed to be." and it saddens me because it further worsens the likelihood of people not getting out of abusive/toxic relationships since fighting and being territorial is perceived as healthy(??) I know from personal experience and from others who i've met that this is not the end all, be all. it's not an inevitable fate you have to brace yourself for. you can be in a committed relationship for years and not have a single fight. rather than having the mentality of settling for shit situations and accepting fights that make you question who you're even with (how can that be something that anyone can think is universally supposed to happen???), people should be taught to communicate their feelings and listen to their partners respectfully... sorry for the rant, I just keep seeing this so much, particularly in American mentalities. it's really quite concerning

Thank u for this vibe. This is love 2 me. Feeling comfortabele, to smile and eye contact. Hearing eachother talk and awnsering questions by heart.

What if older people look for those partners because they don't have friendships that are deep enough to share those things like liking a book or talking while walking. Society from USA is really individualized and I'm pretty sure that's a condition that they got from decades of building cities where there's only chance to do anything if you are inside your own car, and every house is so far away from any other one, and there is no café, no bar in the neighborhood where you meet people from your community...

After 20 years of committed marriage and 3 underage kids I was totally floored at my husband suggestion to open our marriage and become polyamorous. Conveniently he has done it already with an American woman from San Francisco( we are in Europe). Amaizingly she is also in to open relationships and has already live in boyfriend. The Book Ethical Slut was presented as an argument for self evident progression of our marriage in to open one. My main question was : where are we supposed to find TIME and money for this? What is it going to look like in practical terms? We already have problems with communication, we have not enough time and energy for the kids or ourselves. How bringing another human being ( two actually) is going to be helpful? Needless to say that our marriage naturally progressed to divorce.

Mmm this was really good. I had one thought as I was listening. I have not experienced fear of death, but fear of not being able to have experience. And with that, knowing I am able to create my own experiences. But when you’re in a relationship that’s based on control of what your partner is doing, how can you experience life with one person who is still sort of in control of what you yourself are doing with parts of your life (typically monogamous relationships)

I love this! As a black polyamorous pansexual, I agree with a ton of these points, mostly hers but he and his cynicism were spot on at certain points. The broad brush strokes of polyamory being mostly sexual just isn’t true. As she said, who don’t have this smoke for friendships why not the same for romantic and even sexual partners. And yes, there is hyperconsumerism, emotional avoidance, capitalist exploitation, all affecting these institutions. I’d agree in spite of these, polyamorous is by definition more progressive than monogamy under any circumstances. Who hurt you bruh?

1:04 i actually live in nebraska, i thought this moment was so funny. it's true, ive never met anyone irl that was in a polyamorous relationship. almost everyone i know is either catholic or some kind of christian. i have, however, met a guy whose family were mormon and his father had four wives

I am loving for this, proud to say that im here from the start. Wow.

More videos like this please!

I was dreading the day y’all dropped this video but thanks for doing this, im trying to understand this more but struggling

Commenting before this goes viral

Love u guys sm u live in my head

💚💚💚💚💚

This was cool to heard gen z talking about Polyam