Watching this without any friends

I noticed that when you start giving up these distracting "proto friends" to make room for more meaningful friendships in your life, you get into this sort of panic mode that's often accompanied with loneliness. You start to think that loneliness is a result of you being of little value, it starts to take a knack on your self-esteem. As you continue to try and convince yourself of the good that will come from letting go of these meaningless relationships, little by little you gain this faith in your ability to overcome this darker period. Time alone teaches you a lot about yourself. It teaches you how much of a friend you can be to yourself. When you get to know yourself, you begin to learn about the types of friends you want to find, and how much more possible it is to find them now that you're more available. Then at the end of it all, you gain a special type of wisdom. That loneliness is a part of the transition, it's the discomfort that is meant to guide you to new and better relationships. Truth is, I've never felt more lonely than when I had "friends" that weren't truly there for me; and now that I've removed their presence physically and symbolically, to my surprise being by myself has been the most productive and eye-opening time of my life.

someone told me you don't make friends you RECOGNIZE them.

Summary: 3 types of good friends; people who can help you accomplish things, people who help you have fun, and people who you can learn from and vice versa. Avoid people who don't care about progress and who relishes on other's failures.

Four purposes of Friendship: 1. networking 2. reassurance 3. fun 4. clarifying our minds

After seeing this I realized I'm not a very good friend in many ways. I need to be less aggressive, cold and intolerant. This is very helpful

This is why I don't force friendships. I make acquaintences as needed, especially in regards to my job, but in regards to friendships, I let that happen naturally. Either I "click" with someone else or I don't.

Advice for people who have no friends: Try to make them as early in life as you can and foster that friendship like a plant growing in your yard. Never judge your friends unless you feel it's absolutely necessary, never cause them harm. Laugh, joke, and try to relate to them as much as you humanly can. Friendships are built a lot on "trust". My friends know my darkest secrets and my family situation, in return, I know theirs. I've told them what I've been through, and they've told me what they've been through. A privilege only attainable thanks to trust. We trust each other not to judge or make fun of serious things we tell each other. Quality of friendship can be determined by how much you can take your "mask" off and still feel comfortable around them. I've only had 2 main friends over the course of my life. A lot of little friendships in between but they eventually die off because either "they" or "I" decided not to water the plant of friendship. You don't have to force friendships, if they don't work after awhile, let the plant die, but be mature about it. Oddly enough, the best friendships are built off of relating to pain and suffering. If you and a friend both understand the feeling of depression, you'll get along just fine. For me, it's people with family issues. Weird? No. You see, it is in my mutual understanding of this specific type of pain that brings me and my friends closer together. I've got their back should they need it, and they've got mine.

I know that you don't take any requests from the fans but, could you please at least consider making a video explaining the true meaning of what maturity is ?

" Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing." After loosing a friend to suicide, no words could say better how i felt about her

I seek friendship for the reason of having another sentient being with which to discuss the absurdity of life and to share ideas and just exist in one another's company.

I don't have friends due to the obligation of maintaining the friendship. I have always wanted and have had just one close person at a time, usually a partner. I am fortunate that I desire to spend most of my time alone. I have often wished I were different and have tried to be, but this is who I am. It is lonely at times, but I have felt more lonely around people with whom I have little in common. Sometimes I envy extroverts for their social lives, but more often lately, I feel bad for them......needing others so much.

Friends are found in a particular environment. Once you leave that environment, the friendship deteriorates. For example, you might make good friends at college but after you all leave college and go your separate ways in your careers those friendships get weaker and weaker year by year. And they rely upon referring back to college days to keep them going. To keep long standing friendships you both need to be travelling in the same direction in life.

it's true... one person can't be fun and thoughtful at the same time. you need different people to fulfill you in different ways. every friendship should be personalized and mutually beneficial.

Be careful when self righteously ridding yourself of a toxic friend, without considering that you yourself are surely considered one by someone else.

Just when I'm contemplating about my friendships, y'all upload this? Stop stalking me, School of Life.

You know, I've always found that I don't understand how other people communicate because they seem, to me, to talk about absolutely nothing, and yet they have fun, feel validated and make good friends. Out of frustration with my perceived lack of intimacy with other people, I've tried talking about "nothing" as well to get along with people and hopefully share in those rewards they seem to be getting from it, but after watching this video it hit me that the reason what I consider to be "talking about nothing" is rewarding to people is perhaps because they've found people that they can trust and feel comfortable enough with to talk about "nothing" with. I think this will really change the way I look at friendship, and also at the reason for lack of connection I feel with my friends--I don't trust them enough to enjoy my company and so can't truly feel understood and liked--and I hope someone else will experience this too.

The nicest thing that a person has said to me is “we’re friends”, despite just meeting each other and exchanging names. Just this week

A friend is someone who is with you through thick and thin, there won't be many in everyone's lives.

All I learned from this video is that I want to do puzzles.

I suddenly feel very grateful because I have such gentle weirdo and comprehensive friends who are also very mature and very responsible. . and I have like only 4.. but I am so happy with them... they ease my life in such a beautiful way

"I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past a minute, minute and a half. I gotta get the fuck outta there!" George Carlin Lol the older you get the truer this is.

I actually SEARCHED for this. I'm INTROVERTED and sometimes anti-social, but I always wondered why I'm still seeking friend when I'm too tired to have the commitment. This video EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!

This is really important in this day and age. I find that as I grow older more and more people seem to define the notion of friendship as just people to pass time with or just have fun with, but when sh*t hits the fan you find yourself completely alone, but what I had realized through the years is that being alone is better than wasting your time with people who no matter how long you know them or how often you interact with them will never strive for intimacy, and not in the romantic sense but rather in the friendship sense.

I love the concept of friends, like, "this one seems fine, time to spend all the extra time that I want with you".

In all honesty, I don't fall into this idea of seeking or having friends because I'm ambitious, insecure, bored and unfocused.Although I recognise and try to assist/fulfil these needs and traits with my own friends, I always see my ordeals through alone be it by choice or circumstance, I don't trust anyone who is not me to deal with my problems.But don't mistake me for family man either, blood is thicker than water but it's nowhere near as enduring or flexible.So in my opinion, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

I've had the same friends for most of my life... they are everything to me

As a kid I had many friends and I had no idea what friendship was. Now that I know what friendship is I got no friends, just coworkers, relatives, acquaintances, drinking buddies, like-minded individuals etc... Friendship is either a stiff idea with inherent rules, or a flexible unplanned outcome of life, but then if you try to idealize it, it vanishes.

True friendship is truly beautiful, even if you don't talk for a year, the bond will forever be there, it's not sexual or abusive, by simply sharing your thoughts, feeling and opening yourself to another and accept each other. These days, It's so hard to find trust true friends, because most people are too preoccupied with their lives and trouble, and it is very hard to trust, after so many disappointments or betrayal, you have to first open your heart to the right person, go through obstacles together or share the same passion and always help one another to call someone a true friend.

For me having friends is quite a daunting task. Just a single friend my mother.

This video might be the thing that saves my friendship with my best friends. I feel I might've over-reacted a ton, and I think I need to apologize because without them, I probably would've been a completely different person. A bad one at that.

In the end, you still will be all alone by yourself, solving your own shits.

Friendship is Magic, simple as that.

anyone else listen to these and start to feel so wise and enlightened and then remember they have 2 million subscribers and that you're not special

I'm recovering from a traumatic experience over the course of a couple of years, now I've spent time alone I really do see the value of friendship and togetherness. And I know more clearly than before what I am looking for. For which I am grateful.

A lot of people claim to not have any friends. It may be time to consider then, why you have nothing to offer the human race with your presence. It's easy to blame everyone else, but if you haven't recognized your own faults, then you are probably the one to blame for your loneliness. I have been there, and in some ways am there right now. It's time to take some responsibility

The School of Life is my thinking friend. I wish I had more of those

Good friends are one of the best things in life. I've had true and not true friends. I had friends who took advantage of me and manipulated me by acting like they cared about me. When I stopped letting them use me, they turned on me. I thought that was what I was good for till then. I also had friends who used alcohol and drugs and I thought they were helping me to live my best life but my addiction messed my life up so I let go of all those friends. Now I have friends who show me that they love me, care about me, support me, and help me to solve my problems and live a good life. They show me that I'm a good person who deserves respect and they give me constructive criticism in a living way not insult me when I make mistakes. They help you solve problems and be successful and live a better life.

Who else had specific friends come to mind as he was explaining each type of friend? Great video, I love my friends.

wow... really really appreciate this video, as it silently speaks loudly to me.. I've never had many friends because I struggle to connect over superficial and hollow conversations and purpose.. I've always been a seeker of depth and value in my connection with other humans, and the ability to just be self around someone ..and whenever I've sensed an element of fakeness , malice or lack of genuineness, I'd easily dismiss the friend/acquaintance and slide back to enjoying my time alone.. I am a loner , and I ENJOY my space. I'm not shy, or rude, I enjoy who I am and Confidently so. when strangers try to enter my barrier or radius, by uttering a friendly compliment, greeting positively, I do respond back kindly. but regardless of this, I don't just let anyone in easily.. because I've been a little disappointed by friendships before. ie, male friends I really cared for attempting to cross that line of friendship and turn it sexual , and female friends turning shallow, making rude comments or exuding behaviour of jealousy and intention to embarrass.. however I'm glad to say I have one friend I am constantly grateful for and constantly dedicate my life to, my fiancé. I accept the fact that my lover happens to be my best friend..I am comfortable with not having plenty of friends, because this one human means the universe to me...yes friendships have disappointed me, and I do sometimes yearn for a group of sisters I could gossip with and cry with .. but I acknowledge the fact that that is not my destiny, to have big crowds. . I accept my journey as an introvert and truly happy and fulfilled because I became friends with myself first, before I could seek one elsewhere. and because I am good friends with self, I am happy to share myself with my fiancé/friend/lover/hubby/everything . I'm okay with this...thank you for the video.

Most people are more selfish, fake, difficult to deal with and superficial. it doesn't matter if you share similar interest or goals. Even though you would like to make friends, we begin to compare with our past friends, mistakes, or even true friends and even label them based on what you truly seek now. The thing is that you get easily dissapointed the more interactions you've had; you see others' flaws as more negative than before, you don't want to be open to others as a consequence; in a way it may seem better since we want better friendships, however it's also because we become more demanding too. But to those that are self-loathing, you need to love yourself if you want others to love you back, you have to help yourself first after all. I know that some are "lucky" to have met good friends. And keep in mind that is okay to end up alone.

thanks to his i'm kinda starting to believe that my depression is actually helping me to understand more and more of myslef for my own good in the long term. your videos are powerful man, never stop doing them there so many things that are unclear to the people who ask the right questions to themselves and i am sure you're helping

Damn, One Punch Man Season 2 is lookin kinda weak not gonna lie

I forgot what it was like to have friends in 2016.

I never went out of my way to become friends with someone. I never knew the purpose of having friends. I knew that there were people with value in them, that could help me do certain things I'm unable to do. I even pretended to be friends of other people to help them solve their problems, or to help myself solve my problems, but never actually became friends with them. now thanks to this video I am understand; 21 years later lol.😊

Min 4:50 talking about friends that are useless and are in life because of the universe and having the courage to distance yourself from that friend has been a changing point in my life, even 2 years after hearing the comment

My friends and I talk about deep things,help each other,have fun together,move things forward!

Brilliant, not only defines how a friend should look like, but also defines you as a friend!!! 😊 We have a lot of friends on Facebook, but nearly 5 of them are real friends, nearly 5 of them fulfill their purpose as a friend, so it's really important nowadays to know how a friend should look like!!! 😊

Just to make it easier for other people trying to remember the four friendly puzzle pieces: According to this video, these are the four reasons you need friends: networking, reassurance, fun, clarifying our minds. Thanks for making these videos! Also this is one of the most beautiful presentations of a School of Life video that I've encountered! Kudos to the animator/s and illustrator/s! :)

I always feel slightly more enlightened each time I watch a school of life video, thanks guys

I avoid making friends, they always end up being a pain in the a$$. My outlook on relationships is cold and mechanical, I only start one when mutual cooperation is a necessity to overcome a difficult situation. This is attitude has helped me from ended up as a utility.

to be honest, most of the people are not friendship materials. true friends are people who stand by you when you have problems. most of the people who just keep a distance from you when you are down. care about your true friends when they care about you. most of the people are very proud to have self centred acquaintances, this is a wrong approach. most of the people are self centred and do not know and will not care about others. spending too much time with these people will only pull you down. I went to social parties sometimes, and strange thing is everyone is talking about themselves and actually no one is listening to others. it sounds fun, but if you think it deeper, it is very boring.

Purpose of Friendship: A temporary cure of boredom. Having someone there whom is like you in enough ways to share an interest with that you can discuss, debate and talk about the various things you are interested in. As well as furthering our support groups for financial reasons. Having friends means you have a much easier time finding roommates. The other purpose of friendship is the cure for loneliness. We are extremely social animals that require more than just our family members and offspring to satisfy our own personal social commutative circles.

Surely one of their best videos by far. I hope this sheds light on my friends that benefit me and the ones that don't.

1.networking: To collaborate and fill in the skill gaps to achieve a bigger purpose 2.reassurance: they share their stories So that we treat ourselves with more compassion and understanding and let us no that we're not alone 3. Fun: To get out of the mundane and repetition and have fun, when we can be ourselves and they love our presence 4.clarifying our minds : A reliable one we can talk out our thoughts and organisr them to make sense they conduct the conversation in a way that would give us more clarity to our present state

This video reminds me of my favorite opera: Dalibor, from Bedřich Smetana. One of its main motifs is celebration of friendship. To contemporary ears, these lyrics are often misinterpreted as a gay affection, revealing that modern man has truly forgotten what is friendship. Forgive my clumsy translation from the Czech language. Dalibor´s ode: "I´ve always resisted temptation of a women´s lustful eyes, All I have ever wanted was a true friend. My wish was fulfilled, and I could dream of friendship in arms of Zdeněk." Although Zdeněk was killed long ago, by the end Dalibor finds a new friend: one, who he considers to be Zdeněk´s spirit, but in reality it is a woman, Milada, concealed as a peasant in order to rescue him. What has always striked me unique was the absence of a typical romance, which was utterly replaced with pure friendship - with both a man, and a woman. Personally, when I was younger, even I was thinking it is slightly idealized, but as I grow older, I am not so sure anymore. I believe that as the society simplifies everything in sake of comfort, a friendship is just another seemingly irational relation to be sacrificed. The first step has been made, the word "friendship" has been devolved to something almost automatic. Everyone is friend, keep smiling, and all that jazz. The human has become so frightened by the idea of loneliness, that he rather accepts everyone, than none. But as there is no light without darkness, there is no acceptance without rejection, and so began the vanishing of friendship.

“Now I even hate to be with people whom I used to meet with pleasure; I know them so well, I can tell just what they are going to say and what I am going to answer. Each brain is like a circus, where the same horse keeps circling around eternally. We must circle round always, around the same ideas, the same joys, the same pleasures, the same habits, the same beliefs, the same sensations of disgust.” Guy de Maupassant

This video was super useful. Lately I've realised I don't actually have any idea what friendships are for and why I find certain people so unsatisfying to be around whilst others feel so good to be around.

I think an interesting side effect of this video is that it made me think about what kind of friend I am to other people, and how I act around my various friends. Great video!

What a great idea with the puzzle heads for friends.

I watch this and i don't even have friends.

I like this. It puts my current circle of wonderful friends in a clearer context, and I feel less conflicted about past friendships that have not gone or ended well.

I can say this today that in the past 3 years, the most useful, helpful and influential thing to happen to me is your channel

I'd love to work for this channel. I've watched every single video and they precisely depict how I've thought about things all my life. I've found my favorite KZfaq channel for sure.

the dancing food animation really brought across your point

The school of life makes life clearer and easier to understand, thank you ❤

i think that it is very important, in any relationship, to have genuine feelings and intentions that are not shallow nor overly selfish

if only i had friends...

My only friend is myself. 😁

Im truly blown away at the quality of animation with this video. True talent!

This video has helped me get over the guilt I have been carrying for a while for distancing myself from proto friends some years ago. I did this after repeatedly requesting that we should do more to help each other acheive our goals instead of just killing time when we spent time together. Unfortunately they didn't take that into consideration and I slowly faded out of their lives but I was still feeling guilty about it until I watched this!

I'm the shady friend in every friendship

I think meeting friends daily destroys friendship. You gotta let them miss you

This channel has been helping me understand myself like nothing else. Thank you so much for the time and effort that you guys put in creating these awesome videos.

This is a truly unique message. Being mindful as to why we conduct friendahips will make the world a better place and a more understandable one.

“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know”

Me: wants to make friends Also me: completely loses interest when someone is trying to get close to me

I have just kinda lost a friendship that lasted 15yrs. Watching this video has given me a very interesting perspective.

Well done. These are things that I have discovered within myself after a long internal struggle.

I think sometimes these friend types can overlap...

After this video, I need to get in touch with my jigsaw puzzles.

This is exactly what I believe, and I'm called "cold" for believing friends should serve a purpose or I'm just wasting my (and their) time. Too bad it's so far been impossible to find a real friend; I've resigned myself to solidarity.

i was feeling bad for loosing friends, but after this i felt so damn good, because i was finally freed from those lies

My pets are my best friends.

The purpose of friendship is to compare genitals.

Thank you for this. Thank you. All I've ever had are proto friends. I said goodbye to them all in 2016-17. 2019 I became truly inspired to connect with true friends, but, it's been seeming impossible lately. This gives me reassurance.

this is so accurate, it always gets me intrigued about philosophy when I sit around once in a while and wonder, why do we need friends? why do we to get married? why does people act the way they do, so many things that we do automatically and never got the answer why

it really depends on what kind of friends you have. i have friends, who are close, but they aren't a definite definition of "close friends". they know my behavior and personality and my antics, and i know their's but that seems just about it. it seems as though we aren't real friends who support each other emotionally? i don't think i'd like to be in friendships like that. but i feel as though we make an ideal (best) friend in our heads, and when we see someone who is similar to our idealized figure, we befriend them. however, when we realize that the person we befriended doesn't make us happy or fulfill our emotional (and physical-not sexual) needs, we become afraid-afraid that if we leave that person, we will find no one, and we will fall into a depth of nothingness (aka loneliness).

My point is some might love to see you fail dont think he is a bad person hang out with him without over valuing him. someday you might become real friends (people change) someday you might meet his other friends and be friends with them.and if he directly does something to harm you you can always stop seeing him. Dont forget everyone you are close isnt going to be you BEST friend some ppl can show up sometimes and thats ok whats wrong with it? Do the things which you want your friend to do.you open up first, you love unconditionally who doesnt like some who acts close to her? (İ really would like to learn why you think that way cant get)

So summed up everyone needs a supportive, playful and critical friend to have a happier social life. I believe that a goal should be to fill one of those gaps

I'm so thankful I have such great friends I can do all these together with!

Love my friends

Me: I'm so stupid, ugh I hate myself Friends: yeah we hate you too.

in my many years on the internet....... this channel is the best thing that happened to me

As a person who spent one and a half decades without any friends as I did elementary education, from pre-k to 12th grade, I can say that you need to know how to relate with people and work with people without being shy or difficult to work with. And, in addition, from my experience, you tend not have depression when you are with people who are about your age that you can have an interesting conversation with or help each other out. I just turned 20, and in college. From these 1 and a half years of college, I can say that life can get very stressful since you have to overcome many things from doing well in classes to finding a job and paying your school. To me, the hardest thing is anxiety from failing and getting lonely sometimes. I think that if people can knock one of these off, then they will have a happy college experience.

Can't be disappointed by friendships if you don't have any...hah...haha.. ;-;

today we live in a complex world. keeping it simple is very foreign.

I love how timely I'd stumbled onto this video, just I took a week off from everything (mainly school) after I pissed off a uni mate of mine whom I had considered as a good friend. Though not much time had passed since we've known each other, we've gotten along fine, until that faithful incident. Even though the issue has been settled & reconciled, I couldn't help but go into this deep contemplation, of how and why things led up to this point? To reflect on my intentions & my mate's possible viewpoints, and you know what? The short answer is EGO, the bringer and destroyer of many things. As of now, things are still cold between us (or so I think) but, I still hope for the momentum to pick up again. But yes, to understand what it means to have a good friend, is to have a few quiet evenings to ourselves...brilliant!

Absolutely adored this video, thank you for your constant help in allowing us to bathe in the idea of self reflection and awareness.

i swear to god I talked about the same thing 3 days ago with my friend