Other movies are so bad, they kill the franchise. Dragon Ball Evolution is so bad, it went full circle and revived the franchise. It was so bad, the original creator felt the need to come out of retirement to show how it is done.

"Man this is worse than that time when I was in high school. And all the guys called me Geeko, and I was Piccolo's slave, I couldn't get Chi-Chi to like me and- oh wow, I hit that rock harder than I thought."

I'm so glad that James Marsters got to officially be in the DB universe by voicing Zamasu in the English dub. He loves Dragon Ball and he tried so hard to at least make Piccolo accurate in this pile of shit disguised as a movie.

Producers: We're gonna do a Dragonball movie. Fan: Cool, is it gonna be like the anime or manga? Producers: What the f are those?

I've heard people call Dragon Ball Evolution bad fanfiction before, but I disagree. That would be an insult to bad fanfiction, because at least bad fanfiction is written by people who actually like Dragon Ball.

Fun fact: When Akira Toriyama offered advice for the script, the execs rebuked him, saying that 'They could do it better'. After the movie came out, Toriyama was so infuriated by it that he started writing Dragon Ball again. And thus, Super was born

"This Piccolo fucks." Somewhere in the distance: "we dont even HAVE those!"

"Coming soon, from the people who brought you Dragon Ball Evolution: Meet Shinji Ikari, the clumsy but likable high school senior whose greatest wish is to impress his father - by winning the Texas high school state football championship. But on his way, he finds himself caught in the middle of two girls' affection: Will he manage to turn shy but sweet Rey Ayanami into the homecoming queen? Or is Asuka Langley Soryu finally going to return his unrequited love? Also some mecha-related shenanigans (if we don't run out of time). It's the rom-com of the year: Neon Genesis Evangelion Evolution!"

"We have to change the story to reach a wider audience!" Said the folks adapting one of the most popular series in the history of mankind.

Krillin is real lucky he's dead in this arc.

There is ONE joke in here that Jeff forgot: After Justin says the line "Have you tried looking under Master?" Bulma gives him a dirty look, and Justin goes "M-a-s-t" which got a genuine laugh from me upon first viewing

What's ironic about them trying to do an angsty Uncle Ben moment with Gohan is that the original way Gohan dies is 1000 times more tragic.

Goku's passions are fighting and food. If this were real Dragon Ball, he'd be thirsting after the Strawberry and forget all about Chi Chi.

"This is Dragonball. Death is meaningless." Truer words have never been spoken

Whats crazy is that Justin took his role very seriously compared to the other actors. He read the manga, watched the anime, etc. Could only do so much with a bad script.

Doesn't Evolution namedrop "Airbending" when Goku is trying to learn the Kamehameha? Like, did they really confuse Dragonball with Avatar?

This was an anime adaptation *so bad* that Akira Toriyama came out of retirement to make Battle of the Gods, just to spite this shitshow.

29:38 "Yamcha doesn't actually....do anything" Well there's the problem! The writers were skipping too far ahead and were looking at Dbz as source material

When I was a little kid, one of my dad and I's main methods of bonding was watching Dragonball together. We went on a father-daughter date to see this movie in THEATERS. It was the first movie adaption of something that I liked that I had ever seen. I was an insanely naive child who saw the good in EVERYTHING. And I STILL knew there was plenty wrong with this movie from my first viewing of it. My hatred only grew with age.

"Threatens us with a sequel" makes me laugh way to much

I feel like if anyone finds a copy of this movie in a store, the store is obligated to give the customer money instead for such a tragedy

I love how Geoff refuses to call Justin Goku

This movie actually got me into Dragonball. When I was a kid I always knew of it, but mostly from watching family playing tenkaichi and budokai 3. Hell, from the few cutscenes and artwork I saw I thought that the super saiyan forms of teen gohan, goku, vegeta and trunks were evil doppelgangers of their base forms. When I watched DBE I was so thoroughly pissed because I knew that DB couldn't be that bad, so I watched the entirety from DB to DBGT and I felt relieved.

Noku: “It’s kind of hard to block a move that I can’t see.” Goku: *hires a hitman to kill him so he can fight against someone who has a move that he can’t see*

The only good thing about Evolution is that it makes you appreiate real Dragon Ball more.

"At least pretend you haven't followed her home before." I laughed so hard I had to pause the video.

"Mai's haircut is basically a bob cut but longer, and not at all." That was such a good joke 😂😂😂😂

I have a feeling that the reason the final "beam clash" is so terrible was because they tried to combine it with the way King Piccolo died in the manga. Where Goku propels himself up towards piccolo with a kamehameha in order to punch through him I'm guessing it was a situation were they couldn't decide on how to end the fight and just said "why not both?"

"A talking dog-ninja and a megalomaniacal gremlin were too unrealistic for a movie where a monkey man kung fu fights a green space alien for magic wish balls"

The saddest thing is that DBZ did a better version of the "superhero kid goes to school and gets the girl while teaching his bullies a lesson" plot when Gohan went to high school. Please nobody make a live action Super Saiaman movie. It'll get butchered like this

30:55 i can feel justin trying to breath life into this project anyway he can in this scene, as with most of the actors. The subtle indication that goku almost forgot yamcha died in the dream and was instantly curious about yamcha dying does more for the films adaptation than the writing or directing did.

The screenwriter actually apologized. Apparently he didn't even bother to google DBZ and find out it's actually popular. He thought it was dumb and put minimal effort in for a paycheck.

Jeff: This movie makes it functionally impossible...to adapt the Saiyan or Freeza saga Vegeta and Freeza: We see this as an absolute win.

"Just watch the way he bad-touches the camera with his eyes while imagining her mouth f**king a strawberry in a field full of flowers." That sentence...that sentence is AMAZING.

"Have you SEEN our Goku? We are DOOMED." I never ever fail to laugh at that line, and I have seen this video like six times.

Goku in canon: Didn't know what marriage or even kissing was Goku in evolution:

You know what's worse than that the screenwriter had to apologise for writing Evolution? That his script was massively better! We've had it leaked online years ago, and while it's true that it's still not the release Dragonball deserved, it actually seemed like a bad adaptation of actual Dragonball, instead of...........this. Krilling was there in Kame house in one scene, the characters were more like themselves, etc. The only reason it got THIS bad is because the executives rewrote his bad script according to their own ideas and marketing 6 F***ing times!

Akira Toriyama - "At the time of the Hollywood movie, the live-action Dragon Ball, the script had too little of a grasp on the world and its characteristics, and on top of that, it had a conventional content that I couldn't find interesting, so I cautioned them, and suggested changes; but in spite of that, they seemed to have a strange confidence, and didn't really listen to me. What came out in the end was a movie I couldn't really call a Dragon Ball that lived up to my expectations."

Fun fact: James Marsters, who played King Piccolo in this movie, actually went on to voice another Dragon Ball villain, this time in Dragon Ball Super, where he voiced the genocidal Kaioshin of Universe 10, Zamasu!!

You know, I'd like to believe Bulma's " Maybe I like bad men" comment was a nod to Vegeta wearing that pink "Badman" shirt in the Trunks arc... never mind, definitely not with this script. It was more likely a complete coincidence while they just went with a "women like the bad guys" trope.

I like how Mother's Basement doesn't even refer to Justin as Goku.

I remember showing my sister this movie, who didn't know anything about DBZ. Never forget her asking "Is Goku supposed to be Canadian?"

Which is a worse crime against cinemanity? Dragonball: Evolution or M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender?

"It's nothing like power rangers, mom!" Uh, Super Saiyaman disagrees.

I was already so disappointed in this movie that I didn’t think I could be anymore disappointed. Now I realize that the volcano was probably supposed to be Fire Mountain, the hench girl was supposed to by Mai, and learn that they were trying to pander for a trilogy (not just a sequel) and I feel more dead on the inside than the virus could accomplish right now.

I think a live action Dragon Ball movie series or TV show could really work. Not DBZ, but classic Dragon Ball. Hire a talented martial artist kid, don't try to copy the anime hair and just give him generaly wild hair, lean into the feral mountain boy vibes and his endearing loveable naivety and ignorance and love of fighting. Make him just as strong as in the anime and just as excitable. Make him asexual and motivated by adventure and fighting and let the secondary characters motivate the plot. It could work. Lean into making Goku loveable. Let us explore the wacky and wild world of DB along with him! He's the perfect window character like Harry Potter to discover capsules and dog people and floating cars and insane cities! Towers full of bad guys and color coded armies! It's all new to us, and it's all new to Goku! It WORKS! DO THAT! Hire the choreographers from Into the Badlands and a talented and versatile composer like Bear McCreary, and a few good directors like the crew that made Daredevil and you'll have an amazing show! I think it could be better than Avatar as a live action anime. (Avatar is anime. Fight me.) I think focusing on martial arts and fun world building and less on massive energy beams and mountain destroying punches will work better. Bending works better as animation, a lot of Anime is animated because it works best that way... but Dragon Ball could really work. I honestly believe it. P.S. After seeing a video of Yidyut Jamwal, I'd love to see him portray Nam in live action. I liked Nam a lot and I think the Tournament arc could be a ton of fun in live action! Focusing on all the fun characters and I think it would be fun to have someone like Dave Bautista or Terry Crews play Bacterian for fun. With a ton of makeup and prosthetics like Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder lol those kinds of cameos are always my favorite!

I have a theory this entire movie was a fever dream of Gohan when he was taken by Piccolo to train, which is why everything is messed up.

I'll never forget being 10, a huge DBZ fan, and anticipating this film. Then seeing it with my dad, and having him walk out halfway through the film while I stayed and slowly accepted that the film was terrible lol

You know what's the worst part? If they wanted to build a cheesy movie with high school teenagers, super heroes and love affairs based on Dragon Ball, if they had based the story on Gohan, Videl and the Great Saiyaman the movie wouldn't be as bad as it was! And the Power Rangers parts would be bearable!

11:55 "Super-simpin' " I should not have been drinking water at that moment.

10:52 i'm genuinely shocked that an anime commentary channel, even one as quick as yours, mentioned big-budget media having any responsibility in the effect their storytelling has on its intended audience. fiction doesn't exist in a vacuum. it it shaped by real life and, afterwards, shapes our real lives. everything from the biases of its writers and creators...to the representation in on-screen actors...to the impact framing has on how we are intended to perceive the scene...all that affects and shapes us in little ways that we carry with us in into our everyday lives.

Cheeky Amoral Fight-Slut is my Darkness Cover-band.

Jeff: WHY CANT THIS MOVIE GET ANYTHING RIGHT "First rule is there are no rules"

Did they actively TRY to make every character into literally the exact opposite of what they actually are? Because I don't know how else it's even possible to be THAT off-base. They didn't just adapt the characters, they turned them into completely, fundamentally different people

*Fun fact: Kyle Hebert (Gohan's VA) did a DBE roast party on his discord! I even helped with it!*

DBE actually stands for *_Dig Bick Energy._*

I remember watching this as a kid and my father walked in to see what I was watching. He then turned it off and said “Lets watch some actual Dragon ball.” Thanks dad!

I’ve never liked Dragonball, but I did watch the Avatar: The Last Airbender movie, so I know how you guys feel.

And In the next movies of this supposed "Trilogy" we find out that the bully is actually the same race as 'Geekou' and is technically a "prince"

“Yamacha doesn’t do anything”; oh so it’s Dragon Ball Z.

We can take solace in one thing though: Toriyama got so pissed about what they did to his series that he came out of a retirement to make more actual Dragon Ball. Love Super or hate it, DBE is directly responsible for its existence.

I've read the entire Dragonball manga and I've watched all the anime, still watching super. I must say this film literally made me rage cry when I 1st watched it.💀

This should have been marketed as a comedy. I'm so sad that so many people who don't know anything about Dragonball watched this and assume that's what it is.

45 MINUTES!!!!!????? Holy shit this is the longest STOMPING this movie has ever taken on KZfaq.

The thing of it is, Superman and Spiderman received their powers/were born powerful without any training needed. While Goku was also born with Saiyan hi levels of ki and strength, it wasn't enough to beat a premier human martial artist if he left it as is. Goku TRAINED to be the powerhouse he is. Sure, it's FUN for him because he loves fighting and is the typical Saiyan in that sense, but he still got to be the strongest being in the universe because he pro-actively trains and picks fights with strong people. If someone is weak, he's really not interested in getting involved beyond swatting them out of the way.

Bulma's hair can be interpreted as a pie chart representing the proportions of the bag which the writers did (black) & didn't (blue) fumble.

22:30 WHEN THE JOKE COUNTER WENT DOWN. I am laughing so hard god damn it XD

"Hey! There's that forehead vein again! Are we sure this wasn't supposed to be an Akira movie...?" Well, Justin does look more like Tetsuo than Goku in this movie...

“Flakey amoral fight slut” just think we need to appreciate this line real quick.

I will give this movie credit for one thing: Throwing the bike capsule and opening it remotely mid throw as an attack is a pretty cool idea

I may be late af but the lantern scene is literally just Zuko

I'm glad to see you gave James Marsters some credit, even if even he couldn't save the movie. I'm glad he got his chance with Dragonball properly when he played Zamasu in Super.

"DRAGONBALL IS NOTHING LIKE POWER RANGERS!" Frieza Saga: "TOKUSENTAI! TOKUSENTAI!" Buu Saga: *Great Saiyaman jazzhands intensify* Tournament of Power: Pride Troopers will have you all erased!

Ok, after coming back to this, I think I finally figured out what the failed beam struggle moment was supposed to be. I think they were trying to do Goku's Dragon Fist moment when he rockets himself with the Kamehameha and blasts a hole through Piccolo. It was just executed in the worst way they could come up with.

12:44 is like the only thing accurate to the anime. Pure saiyan's hair cannot be changed from birth.

Oh...ok so we're going to bypass the fact they refer to Ki attacks as 'airbending'?

This movie is how i know my brother has no taste for movies Thinks this was okay Hated fury road.

James Marsters eventually went on to play a different evil green guy in dragon ball super thankfully as Zamas in the Funimation dub so that was neat.

was forced into watching the live action mulan with my mum, and every action scene gave me flashbacks to this atrocity of a movie lmao

What they did with Yamcha is insulting. They couldn't even have him be scared of girls :( And Yamcha's presence in the manga had an importance. He was the first to discover that Goku's weakness was his tail. It helped them return Goku to normal after he went Oozaru in Pilaf's castle.

If you skipped the opening and muted any time a character says someone else's name, I wonder how much of this movie you could show someone before they figure out it's based on Dragon Ball...

3:40 "This is followed by a wider close-up where it looks like he's just high as balls. turns out he is!" I have no fucking clue why I'm laughing so god damn hard at this right now but my sides hurt!

Years ago I brought this DVD home, started watching it with my flatmate (also anime fan), got maybe 30 minutes in and he got up, exclaimed "NO", clawed the DVD out if the player and then proceded to throw it out of our 5th floor window. I laughed my ass off and I totally agreed!! XD

"Ah so being thirsty and simping makes you stronger on this planet"

Average viewer: "C'mon, Evolution was so long ago." Me: "It's always a good time to roast Evolution."

i love that you're a popular media analysis youtuber that doesn't shy away from discussing systematic issues in our society (like at the end of this video). thank you

36:55 I love how the subtext of his delivery is "How do you not know this, you colossal dumbass?" He even points at the sun because it's a safe bet that knockoff-Goku might not even know what the sun is.

One doesn’t have to be a DB fan to know that DB Evolution is below mediocre.

“Super-Simpn’.” That line earned a like.

That part where “goku” says “my grandpas dead” in that monotone voice made me gag from laughter

Your concluding words at the end of this were so poetic and beautiful.

"Yamcha doesn't do anything" Oh so he hasn't really changed

The fact that the ONE THING the franchise took from that movie is the Kamehameha-defibrillator is hillarious.

33:08 toriyama: right that down, right that down toyotaro: sure boss, we are putting this on a movie and on the show

Dragon Ball" creator Akira Toriyama was initially supportive of the announcement of a live action adaptation and asked fans to treat the film as a different interpretation of his work, but after watching the film he was so horrified at this adaptation of his work that he decided to revive the series with the animated film Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods (2013). He later revealed that he wasn't allowed to have any creative input on the film and all of his suggestions were rejected.

I love how he never calls him Goku, only Justin

"DBE, catchy" I could feel that line take a year off my life. It's the audio equivalent of the life stealing machine from The Princess Bride.

This came after Iron Man??? Shit. I still remember John Favreau kicking off the MCU as if it were yesterday despite not watching it again after seeing it on the theatres. I thought this "attempt" was older 🤣

LMAO I've never seen this movie before but you breaking it down piece by piece is PURE gold! Thank you for this!

man this was soooooo bad this movie... non of the characters are connected to dragonball... That makes me just wonder... did ANY of the creators even watch it? But like Piccolo killing Gohan.... Goku having anger issues.... Not wanting to reach higher grounds.... Horny kid... Somehow here having trouble to learn fighting..... How goku and chichi met.... how Bulma and Goku met.... also WERE ON EARTH IS KRILLEN!!!!!