Mass of cells 500 million years ago: **develops consciousness as survival mechanism** Modern society: *_fuck go back_*

Having a derealisation episode while listening to this and it's oddly grounding? Anyway hello am I dreaming this episode

When Dodie said how everything became more grounded was relatable. One time after my episode i literally stood outside and stared at a tree for an hour because the gameplay i live in begins to feel like a 4k60fps

Dodie was the first person I saw talking about derealization. It was so relieving see someone well known talk about it openly. I've had constant derealization for the past 7 years almost and have had fits of it in my childhood now and then a few days or weeks at a time. It pulsates. Thamks again, Dodie and Sci guys

im not positive if you've done one on this- but an episode on different sensory disorders and like /why/ a specific texture or sound etc. makes a brain go "ICK!!!1!!11!" and what it means to be overstimulated vs understimulated would be really interesting to me as someone who deals with different sensory issues :))

The description of the "I" being diminished was accurate. When things are particularly bad it can become distracting and uncomfortable to think or communicate in terms of "self", to the point of speaking in ways that avoid the singular first person all together.

i remember being 15/16 and hearing dodie talk about her experiences with dpdr and not really relating, versus now i’ve had dpdr for 4 years, been diagnosed for a year and relating SO HARD to everything she said. i’d had periods of feeling spaced out in high school, mostly during times when i was pretty depressed but it wasn’t until i smoked weed at 17 that it felt like a permanent thing. like my brain knew that i could use dissociation as a coping mechanism already, but it wasn’t until i had a major panic attack while high (where i was convinced i was going to die) that my brain started abusing that coping mechanism and just applied it to everything that made me anxious (which at that time was like, everything.) add being trans and having dysphoria into the mix (something i knew but was in denial about before getting dpdr) and now i’m in this weird space where i’m spaced out all the time, but its hard to differentiate what is dpdr and what is gender dysphoria 🥴 and what is rational anxiety ! its great love it, 10/10 recommend. 🥴🥴

I have recently been told im experiencing this. Ive been diagnosed with anxiety, panic disorder, ocd, ptsd for a long while now. I was getting so scared thinking i was experiencing onset of psychosis, the panic and the obsessive thinking really took over and i was really close to checking myself in somewhere and finally had my new therapist bring this up to me, did a lot of research and a lot of people who have trauma, ocd, anxiety experience this and as well can lead to scary feelings and thoughts of reality and other people not being real, looking fake and weird, scary existential thoughts, fear of going clinically mad. Ive literally been stuck in this thinking like how Luke brought up about others and myself all being individuals, our own lives, taste in music, fashion etc and it freaks me out and almost embarrassing feeling like seeing through the veil type feeling and how being human is so silly but also super weird and uncomfortable.

The whole concept of “I” was diminishing makes so much sense. Something I have noticed myself doing since the first time I experienced disassociation was that I kinda stopped using self pronouns like I and me. Its become habit by now so whenever I talk to myself in my head (inner dialogue thing idk) it is always “*we* should go brush *our* teeth” like I exist as plural and singular at the same time. Some weird awareness of the “other” voice that responds to the voice that is “me” but both of them are me at the same time and I sort of switch between which voice represents my conscious and which one represents the “other” voice. It makes for easy self talk when I notice negative self talk, I’ll chastise the “mean” voice for being rude to me and then get it to apologize and say something nice instead, but of course its just me roleplaying with myself in my head. This also goes for those pretend arguments I have with myself in the shower or right before bed where I am either preparing for an argument I haven’t had or am going back over an old one, I always try to end it with some sort of an agreement with myself or an acknowledgment of the “current me’s” frustration. Like I just have the second voice be like “yeah I understand your point, that makes sense to me and I see why you’re frustrated.” and it makes that feel much more put to rest rather than leaving myself to boil over. Idk if anyone else does this but here is my word vomit after finishing the episode

*8 years of having DPDR* *sees THIS EPISODE!!!* ahhh TY!!!

It's so random that I came across this episode's discussion about Consciousness while studying for that topic for final psyc exam in uni 😂😂😂

From my experience as someone who is has been a professional in the field and is now in the early stages of likely getting a DID diagnosis alongside autism and has had a special interest in dissociative disorders since before this episode first aired and has been a fan of Dodie for years before this interview and have been intentionally listening to Dodie's music to help me float through my most recent DPDR episode... at 32:26 you say "you can't think of these sort of things as being distinct separate things" My ability to do exactly THAT with my disorders/symptom sets is actually EXACTLY what makes me think what I've struggling with is DID or existential OCD. Again this is for ME in my specific case. My special interests are heavily focused on developmental psychology and neurodiversity and I managed to turn it into my professional career as a mental health/disability advocate in multiple settings. Add in the fact that I was fortunate enough to have had an extremely privileged upbringing and found myself involved in the online DID community YEARS before I ever even CONSIDERED it could be a thing for me. It took a full-blown mental health crisis full of flashbacks for me to realize. But it's almost like all of that background knowledge actually gave my brain the script to label and compartmentalize each of my separate parts as distinct disorders which is how I've been able to function on a daily basis because I can USUALLY quickly identify "that's a symptom of ______." which is actually more similar to a DID system's description of passive influence. I've just been naming my alters disorders that seem to fit their personality so I could compartmentalize more easily. The problems came in because I didn't KNOW that's what I was doing until AFTER it almost gave me a heart attack because I was prescribed the wrong meds and I didn't know about the family history of bipolar disorder because my family has a habit of only sharing stories from the past when they're "relevant,"

Yay so glad you guys had dodie on the show!! 😊❤️

I have M.E. and Ive had experiences when I’m really ill, so fatigued that I’m literally crawling across the floor because my bodies feels like it’s made of lead and my mind can’t process how to stand upright, when I’ve had the distinct feeling that I’m just acting. That I’m not actually ill, I’m just performing this act for some invisible audience. Like I’m watching myself behave this way with no personal concession to the actual sensations or functioning of my body.

I didn't know that derealization was a thing, I thought it was just me being tired and sad, im so happy it's not just me. Thank you guys so much for doing this episode. Especially thanks to dodie for describing her experiences 🙃💛

I needed this vid so much to send to ppl so they can understand

"there's a distinct line in my life" *before the line intensifies*

THIS COLLAB IS EVERYTHING I NEED AND MORE AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

thank you so much for this!! i have undiagnosed but (probably) derealization and it helps so much to hear dodie talk about her experience

This video could be called 2 hours of Jamp having an existential crisis 😂

at 35:55 Luke asks a question. THIS HAPPENED TO ME!! I was actually on the mend and started making good connections but my psych meds had only JUST started kicking in and we had missed a mood stabilizer that we didn't know I needed. I had a realization/made a connection one night and the dopamine rush was SO immense while I was also in tachycardia from a syncope I wasn't aware was happening as a side effect of my meds thanks to the DPDR/Alexithymia/and sensory processing disorder I have... I basically sent myself on a drug trip of my own making and the ramifications of that on my direct support system was so traumatic that it caused a spiral. The opposite of a traumatic event causing it is a psychotic break induced by euphoria!

What a crossover! I love dodie's music so much, I also have a lot of dissociation so it's really helpful to see someone in media who I can relate to, because this disorder can feel like such an isolating thing at times, its great to see representation of someone who can still live life to fullest and know that I can too. Plus her music is BOMB

I cant explain how thankful I am for u talking about this. I have depersonalization/disrealisation and it's just constant. I'm getting not treated for it atm but hearing I'm not alone helps.

I enjoyed this a lot!!! I'm 15 and I experienced it for like two weeks on february and even tho it was awful its really interesting to know that I have lived that experience and I can agree with the descriptions and stuff. Also I would've been lost without dodie talking about it because I had no idea what was going on and I just remembered the title of her video talking about feeling dreamy when awake. thanks dodie!!

Ope commented my first comment before finishing the video. Also would like to add that as an anxious depressed teen with repressed trauma, just constantly feeling anxious and like something is wrong, i did smoke a lot of weed. It made me feel like i was putting on a special occasion outfit. Aka a special personality that allowed me to be more social w friends and also numb me quite a bit, also placed me in what seemed like a different reality where i created more characters. I did that for a few years and it suddenly started causing very opposite affect. I would get extremely anxious and paranoid and shut myself away for long periods at a time. I took some other psycho active things during this time as well bc the stoner kids of course were like "this'll help you find yourself!!" And i desperately wanted to figure out who i was, never had a good sense of identity, would create different "characters" for different reasons or in hopes of finding a character that felt like me. It wasnt until things got terrible and i completely went sober that i started getting trauma flashbacks. I was trying to force myself to figure it all out, mistakenly thinking drugs would help in a positive way, but it was all so repressed for a reason. I wasnt ready for it. The drug use just intensified all of my symptoms. When realistically i shouldve taken it gradually working with a therapist. So i do wanna say if youre reading this, if youre experiencing any of this, do not try to smoke weed or do other psychedelics thinking it helps. It's not worth the risk and can do much more damage.

I feel this way when I have my hair bleached blond. like that's so specific i know but it's truly been an issue for me where whenever i dye my hair and think "oh i'm going to leave it to rest for a day before i dye it after bleaching" that day, every time i look in a mirror i just don't recognize myself and I get really weird about it. I think for me it has something to do with gender dysphoria though tbh

Dodie describes what I feel so well. I have moments of clarity and I think its so rare now that it just makes me panic more when I can actually take everything in properly. I feel like Dory from Finding Nemo because my brain doesn't keep information its been given unless I continuously repeat it and I can't conceptualize time at all so I can't keep on a schedule. My chronic derealization is also trauma based and on top of physical issues as well so I'm unable to work but, of course, the government doesn't think so. ):

thank you so much this is amazing

this episode made my brain more active than it's been in two years. thank you lovely people

I found the conversation about trauma from positive experiences very interesting. When I was younger and I would have a social event coming up, such as a birthday party, I would get so excited that I would actually make myself sick with a cold or fever, etc. and then wasn't able to go to the event in the end. My happiness really got in the way of experiencing happiness I guess...

Haha 1. I love all of Jamp's super existential moments haha 2. Loved luke's insightful questions, 3. dodie for sharing her experiences (&her wicked hat) 4. And Corry LOVE UR DINOSAUR TEE!! Thanks guys for doing an episode on this, as someone with mild DPDR it's really dope to hear it being talked about!

I suffer from Derealisation and depersonalisation and when she said the thing about the hands I could totally understand her. Like I would look at my hands and people would ask if I’m okay, and I’d just be like “my hands are not mine” but I also use my hands for grounding, like I do little dances with my fingers etc. It’s so interesting to hear someone describe the symptoms I’ve felt most of my life

First time I smoked weed, I literally couldn't talk. I'd think out my responses in my mind, believing that I had spoken them, but I was completely silent. It was almost as if I was in a half dream/half waking state, where you're aware of the conversation happening in the other room, but you can't verbally respond, you can only think out the response... and you might even believe that you have verbally responded to the person, only to realize that they didn't hear you... Idk if anyone can relate to that, maybe its just me? But this disconnect between my speech and my thoughts went on for a while whenever I smoked (which was about every other to every day in my teens). At some point, I either developed a tolerance, or became better at coping, and I'm not longer completely non-verbal when I smoke (which is rarely these days), but I still tend to be a very quiet person when I'm high. I think this is probably linked to dissociation on some level... Incidentally, I have a history of seeking out dissociative drugs (DXM), and I think that's largely centered around trying to suppress gender dysphoria/ figure it out. But that's a different story. My point would be, I think I've probably been dissociating my entire life, but I never really understood it well enough to put a name to it, or link the events together.

in case someone needs this rn, you are very much real and very much here and it will get better eventually. promise.

Dodie is delightful :)

Unanswerable query here: I wonder if the same process of feeling like you're dreaming or like your hand isn't your own has any sort of connection to dysphoria? Being trans is described often as "being born in the wrong body". However, through my own experience and "treatment" (HRT and top surgery) I have not only learned to feel more positively about my face and body but also literally upon looking in the mirror I now recognize myself now whereas I would fail to do so before.

thanks i'll just go put on some silly little shoes and take a silly little walk and listen to silly little notes in my ears after learning anything and everything is not real (but also is very real) and im just a bunch of ants trying to do their best,, cool beans 😀👍 /lh /j

i honestly i think forget how alone i feel in derealization until there's a room full of people discussing why brain is the way it is

i really wanna see an episode on the science of bpd/eupd like as someone who has it its rly interesting how the brain makes it happen - or just like all personality disorders!

wow this was so interesting, thank you

What a bonkers and also brilliant episode!

WOW OMG this is so interesting, I was pretty much completely dissociated from ages like 4ish-18ish and weed really helped me to get back into my body after avoiding being fully "in it" for years. It's so fascinating how different people's experiences can be with the same chemical

I... I've never thought that I could have a dissociative disorder, but you mentioned something about DID (I forget what line) and it hit home in a weird way that the prior just never mixed. I was tested for schizophrenia back in like 2016, and didn't have it, every description I've heard has been foriegn and odd. But I... I can't fully articulate my thoughts on it. Especially since it's so personal. (I just realized I spaced out from 21:00 to 51:00 and I have a lot of recordings where I'll just completely space out for ten to twenty minutes and forget I was doing something, again something else I just kinda live with since it doesn't cause many issues in my day to day. If you read my writing you'll see it as well, they'll be a spot where I had a solid idea and it just derails to something so different)

Very interesting episode!

i love sci guys and i love dodie and its always so refreshing to hear discussion about DPDR especially as someone with fluctuating symptoms but im laughing so hard bc this is triggering my own dissociation so i keep having to pause about 10 minutes and then it goes away so i press play again BUT THEN IT COMES BACK HELP

I hope dodie is okay after this episode, it was rough!

About consciousness. I read this study recently about a new description of consciousness: to sum it up quickly it's basically a form of memory. It proposes that it's an evolutionary thing that was developed in order for the brain to make better decisions and analyze thing better. And the answer to that is forming a memory system of reality that runs in real time. TL;Dr consciousness may just be a specific use of memory

There's this good metaphor I've heard from Psych2Go, where it's sorta like, you're sitting there staring at a screen, and it's like you're a game character, and the game is on pause, but that character (that is you) is still going through that game, like a npc, but you're not in "control" But that being said, you're not OUT of control, you're just not really there, just doing the things you should feel like you're doing, as Dodie said, it's so so fuckin hard to explain

i would always do the glasses thing to. had no idea it was a thing other people did

I’ve been diagnosed with both derealization and depersonalisation for quite some time now and I’m listening to this while trying to do my makeup, I’m just floating around in time and space and zoning in and out of my body and the whole word, trying to put makeup on an unfamiliar face which I can see is mine yet don’t recognise. Why does the symptoms always get so much more intense once you think about and talk about these stuff😂 Shows a good job though, well done!

I haven't searched exhaustively through your videos, but have you done an episode specifically on trauma in the past? If not, would you consider doing so in the future?

i thought this episode was going to be about the democratic people’s republic of korea

Try a body-based modality to get you back to feeling. So, try Somatic Experiencing, Bioenergetics, or TRE Therapy. Look it up to understand more. Happy healing

oliver sack wrote the man whomistoke his wife for his hat he was a neorlogist who worked in the American (british)since the 60s he wrote the ebook awakening that the film was based on my favourite book!

Okay I’ve been doing this for years and yes I have ADHD, but can anyone else only listen to podcasts if the speed is at least 1.5x 👀😭

It's like the brains version of autoimmune disease

I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR SMTH LIKE THIS BC IM CONCERNED

Dodie!!!!

Based on readings in positive psychology, I'd say the opposite of trauma is awe. Both traumatic and awe-inducing events "shock" us and force us to alter the way we perceive the world.

i smoked weed everyday for months and i started to develop depersonalization and derealization, along with panic attacks after i really bad trip where i greened out. i started hallucinating completely sober and those whole months where i was smoking everyday i can hardly remember. it was so scary , i stopped smoking weed now because how bad it got. i had moments of derealization before i smoked but it was completely different after i smoked and heightened everything. i still am dealing with it but it has definitely gotten better after going cold turkey

This is very interesting. I was reading about enlightenment and it matches how you guys describe Depersonalization/derealization. I wonder what the correlation is?

'Don't try drugs' hahahahahahaha

23:00 same

I struggled with this when I was a pre-teen/teen. Interesting episode, thanks guys!

I'm not sure if this is what it feels like but would a similar visual representation of this be like the initial sunken place in Get Out. You are in control but there is a separation of the consciousness.

i suffered from derealisation and depression for a number of years, but i'm pretty much recovered now. my biggest technique would be to just try not to think about it. the more u hyper-focus on everything not feeling 'real' the more u dissociate. it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. whenever i notice myself slip away, i just close my eyes and try to move on. fighting the feeling is NOT what's going to help. i'm not gonna listen to the ep coz it'll prob be triggering, just thought i'd share my view!

would the opposite of a traumatic moment be a euphoric moment?

Dodie! If you haven't already, please try cold water submersion. It really helps me return to my body. Have a spotter with you and try to stay under (including your head) as long as you can.

I'm transgender, so when I don't recognize my body as mine; during PMS and periods, which is when my body gets more "feminine"; I often feel like I wake up and am still in a nightmare, literally.

27:05 Not all the time.

1:13:36

i need this diseases of the mind 80s dance track in my life

Thanks dodie! :-) Here is the charity launch footage: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/orWGmbFp3LPWh30.html

Are we just cells working together to run a system on an even bigger living thing which is just a cell on an even bigger thing which just continues and continues

I think elation is the opposite of trauma?

My brain hurts

I knew dodie was going to say The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat. I haven't even read it, just heard about it.

Oh here comes the anxiety... oh god... my neurodivergent mind cannot handle this

i do this when my boyfriend pops really painful pimples on my back. i just think about children in Africa and pretend my mind is floating above me in the room and even though my body feels the pain, my mind is sort of disconnected from my body and I'm watching myself be in pain so i can tolerate a lot more. i guess that's what you'd call a "normal" depersonalisation mechanism

Omg

opposite of trauma is growth

She has a really cool voice sort of suthing maby?

52 minutes

Lamotrigine is a drug that helps with epilepsy but there is no cure

Does anyone else having trouble driving meaning your afraid of hitting someone

Anyone else experience dissociative seizures?

"don't do drugs" is very reductive and arguably an ineffective message. it could be good in episodes that discuss drug use to link to harm reduction and quitting support resources

Instead of reading all these psychopathy reports and books - try some Buddhism.