The science of love | Dr. Helen Fisher
Рет қаралды 635,887
We all want to have a good, stable relationship with somebody, says Dr. Helen Fisher. So it's important to understand how intense romantic love affects our long-term goals.
❍ Subscribe to The Well on KZfaq: bit.ly/welcometothewell
❍ Up next: Why gratitude makes you more attractive to others kzfaq.info/get/bejne/jracpNZn2bbDkqs.html
Intense feelings of love shut down the parts of our brain involved in decision-making. This is why, according to Dr. Helen Fisher, you should spend a lot of time with someone before marrying them.
Dr. Fisher believes that one-night stands, "friends with benefits," and long-term cohabitation before marriage are signs of a healthy change in attitude toward love. People are so afraid of divorce, that they want to experiment before settling down.
While marriage was once the start of a long-term relationship, today it is the finale.
Read the full video transcript: bigthink.com/the-well/the-science-of-love/
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
❍ About The Well ❍
Do we inhabit a multiverse? Do we have free will? What is love? Is evolution directional? There are no simple answers to life’s biggest questions, and that’s why they’re the questions occupying the world’s brightest minds.
So what do they think?
How is the power of science advancing understanding? How are philosophers and theologians tackling these fascinating questions?
Let’s dive into The Well.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Join The Well on your favorite platforms:
❍ Facebook: bit.ly/thewellFB
❍ Instagram: bit.ly/thewellIG
@The-Well Жыл бұрын
What do you think is a good way to have strong relationships?
@HarshSharma-uf8jc Жыл бұрын
Being honest to your partner, trusting your partner, and by not being selfish. This is what I think it is. This way is mutually beneficial.
@nataliablake6643 Жыл бұрын
Acceptance and compromise
@kathyalex778 Жыл бұрын
Forgiveness and self sacrifice for the good of the other (in a balanced way)
@after5.livemusic Жыл бұрын
Being trustworthy, respectful, vulnerable, empathetic, and reflective. If both people are willing to grow, there’s hope and health. 💕
@Invisibility397 Жыл бұрын
Maybe we are going to a population collapse and an genetic diversity extinction event. I don't have children nor will I. Good men are walking away from getting used, abused, & abandoned. Then Women are picking men who raised their anxiety and stress. Creating mental health issues and broken heart syndrome. Plus what are we at now used to be 40% of men reproduced. Top 10% or is it 1%. DNA adapted to their environmental issues. Autism in younger children on the rise? Ignorance is not an excuse. Brutal rejection from me is all Modern Women will receive. I survived slashed right jugular I was commanded that "This is not allowed" just before I face planted my tile floor. I lost 5 days before I woke up. There's no hope for a better tomorrow anymore. 5200+ hours of psychology including subliminal and hypnosis for this infj-t with severe BPD and 30/42 years living in isolated solitude and celibate. Society is shit and humanity is not much better off. Women are going to need a good job in the future cause 35+ nobody will want anything long term with them. Like financial resources they have destroyed all of their value in Character, Morals, Standards & Principals. There is nothing special about a woman who has been with everybody in the village plus 4 other towns as well. Oh and no Accountability, Emotional Ignorance, & lack of Feminine Traits is the main 3 I have dealt with in my short time in society. Good Luck I would rather maim a permanent side slut then spend more than a few minutes with her retardedness.
@selvamthiagarajan8152 Жыл бұрын
"Marriage used to be the beginning of a relationship, now it is the finale". Good point.
@althea1315 Жыл бұрын
Its almost like dating is not even an option 😂😂😂 I dont understand this doctor tbh
@selvamthiagarajan8152 Жыл бұрын
@@althea1315 She comes from a culture where too many marriages end in divorce, so she is right in suggesting that people live with each other for a good period to know each other well, before they commit to a marriage, so they will not have problems coming up later that could end in a divorce.
@anjaliawate1734 Жыл бұрын
There should timeline for everything
@anjaliawate1734 Жыл бұрын
Emotions/ love is not static n permemet
@anjaliawate1734 Жыл бұрын
😭
@Leo-mr1qz Жыл бұрын
"We're built to love." ❤️ That's a very nice sentiment. 💜
@Mrjudsonjames Жыл бұрын
And a fantastic fact! Gotta love something that’s doubly positive!
@Angelicaarchangelica Жыл бұрын
I think that we come into existence to be loved and to love in return. We just need to overcome the darkness in between.❄️
@TheOcean777 Жыл бұрын
I'm not in favor of hook up culture since it's more about lust than finding a partner, just my opinion. However. I'm def in favor of spending years together with a significant other before marriage. In that matter, what she says makes total sense. There's so many people that hide their emotional baggage and don't show it until they're married, and then it's too late, breaking all trust and the bond between partners, and ultimately leading to pain and divorce. People can only hide their true self for so long, so extended time spent together will show the true colors of your partner. Of course, if people like the hook up culture, that's up to them, not for me to judge.
@JungkookiesOyo Жыл бұрын
YEA not if you're schizoid
@Angelicaarchangelica Жыл бұрын
@@JungkookiesOyo what is that?
@nicky_bee Жыл бұрын
This is so much better and more optimistic than all those relationship advice gurus telling us to keep our cool, only give when they give, etc.
@yassersato4977 Жыл бұрын
This.
@koala2464 Жыл бұрын
Anyone listening to advice “give when they give”, shouldn’t be listened to. If you are kind, generous and empathetic you give. What they other person does is their issue. If it’s not reciprocated, it’s up to the individual to decide if that matters or not. Some people love being givers, with no expectation of returns.
@naimasophie Ай бұрын
@@koala2464that's actually rare. Reciprocity is respect. Giving to people while getting absolutely nothing , no gratitude, nothing in return is disrespectful and shouldn't be normalized
@luzgallegos6779 Жыл бұрын
Trust, acceptance, respect, admiration, commitment, knowing how to forgive and ask for forgiveness, constantly working on personal development, growing together, doing things together, etc. In my particular case, my partner and I have to spend most of the year physically separated because he works in another country, we try very hard not to stop feeling close and something that has helped us in this is reading together the same books.
@Maroongov-hy5ne 10 ай бұрын
Wow 😳❤🥰🙏
@user-bn5pq7bh5g 10 ай бұрын
Wow. It sounds very wise
@carmenacevedo7573 Жыл бұрын
There's much more than this... Spiritual connection, beliefs, values, knowing when to negotiate as changes comes... One key...peace is there within storms
@FreedomUninterrupted Жыл бұрын
Sounds like empathy, grace, & accountability are what keeps a marriage going based off of their research.
@rickholland6695 Жыл бұрын
This is very interesting information, and I agree with it. Relationships take a tremendous amount of work on both people's parts. It was 1977, I was 16 when I met Penny. She was 14 years older than me. We eventually became EMT/Paramedic partners working on the ambulance together for many years. In fact, we worked the vast majority of our EMS careers together (we considered it more of a calling than a job). We were a great team on and off duty. Suffering/sacrificing and building a successful life together. I knew Penny for 43 great years. We lived together for 30 years, married 15 of them (I was her second husband). Unfortunately, she passed away suddenly in May of 2020. I can tell you they don't women like Penny anymore. I love and miss you, my wonderful wife. But life goes on.
@sarahsouza5768 Жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your history with her was beautiful
@cristinaevans139 Жыл бұрын
And they don’t make husbands like you.god bless you and yours❤from Australia
@AnaLu07 Жыл бұрын
That's a beautiful story. I hope i can live something like this one day
@petekdemircioglu Жыл бұрын
Hope every man finds a Penny and Every woman finds a you.
@fatimayahia3522 Жыл бұрын
She was lucky woman to have you as a husband
@narcissism-masterclass Жыл бұрын
One of the best ways to get to know someone is take a road trip with them
@askew9976 4 ай бұрын
Ha! That’s nothing. Watch them use dial up internet.
@cinnflowergirl 4 ай бұрын
My boyfriend and I were together six weeks last summer, mostly on the road. We were both pleasantly surprised at how well we got along. Not one argument. But we are big on honesty and communication. We also have similar values and have fun easily. Now we are planning much more travel together. 😊
@LeeCarlson Жыл бұрын
Maybe people need to recognize that Love is a verb and that the only way to make it last is for both people to recognize that they have to put in the work.
@askew9976 4 ай бұрын
Love is both a noun and a verb, but ok.
@chelsea7755 Жыл бұрын
My husband and I were highschool sweethearts and were together for 17 years before getting married 😅. Best. Decision. Ever. We grew a lot throughout those years and frankly, we know eachother very very well. Highly recommend you get to know who you and you're partner are before getting married.
@jameshall7048 Жыл бұрын
Agreed but don’t think majority of ppl need to wait 17 years. I think 3+ is enough depending on the maturity of those ppl.
@jameshall7048 Жыл бұрын
Wishing nothing but happiness for y’all tho
@Roni5 Жыл бұрын
@@jameshall7048 agreed
@comojuntardinheirofacil Жыл бұрын
Is an open relationship?
@Roni5 Жыл бұрын
@@comojuntardinheirofacil I'm not sure if it's impossible to be happy in an open relationship. All that I'm sure of is that it's very difficult to sustain one and come out of the other end better as partners. Lines should be made and never crossed for a chance of it being better, it's essentially a dance between comfort, desire and discovery
@TheInfinite444 Жыл бұрын
Love is a universal connection between you and the light of the universe! We all share it and that's how relationships gets connected!
@shrihari4788 Жыл бұрын
So we just need to have our cognitions and emotions harmonized💕...and that takes time
@TheSkystrider Жыл бұрын
I think this is a very good video. Eloquent, practical and likely very good advice esp the last half talking about how to invest in each other. Of course I enjoy hearing how it ties into the science of how our brain chemistry works. It helps to understand and value how important it is. Can't just think "ya that would be nice" and then not do it, like I can think I could eat more broccoli and then not do it. It's more fundamental stuff than that, which we can get because it's supported by science.
@md.yasinkhan984 9 ай бұрын
I love how specific she is!
@dorothykaffjamboe6808 Жыл бұрын
I’m in a of almost 13yrs now,living with him with 4 kids but not legally married. And anytime they whispered to let him marry me I tell them to hold on! Real relationships are not easy to maintain at all it takes hard work,discipline and persistence to keep it still standing, and I tell no matter the hurts,arguments and misunderstandings I will still stay with my partner or choose him over others because I have lived with him and I know him inside out then someone I have no idea of,so very soon I will being getting marry❤😊
@bernstock Жыл бұрын
Profoundly correct as always. Thank you again, Helen 🙏🏼
@sohinisaha597 Жыл бұрын
Maturity comes with spirituality and that is the basis of a strong foundation in any relationship. You have more happiness with bliss.
@positivevibesonly4426 Жыл бұрын
Very well said! I couldn’t agree more with everything you said !
@lananhoan6616 Жыл бұрын
It's a very advantaged video. I wish all people in the world who are going to get married could watch this video to get any moral compass for their relationship. Thank you so much, Dr. Helen Fisher.
@npsck1802 Жыл бұрын
This video is insanely informative. Well done!
@cleokarma7818 10 ай бұрын
This is amazing and much required information. Thank you Helen
@ASHLEYANNZYGAR Жыл бұрын
Great advice!! Totally agree 👏
@btsmochimi7924 Жыл бұрын
Infatuation, Passionate, Commitment, and Consummate
@jeimmybernal1119 11 ай бұрын
Amazing!!!! Thx a million Dr Helen!!!❤
@dennyvachhani5501 Жыл бұрын
Excellent level of analysis have done by you. Thank you very much for sharing deep knowledge of relationships. ❤😊
@YukonFox1972 Жыл бұрын
Being together for years before marriage still isn’t a guarantee that your marriage will last. There are no guarantees. Both partners need to WANT it and WORK on it. Regular sex and romance are essential!
@phoebe_ouma Жыл бұрын
Exactly, otherwise Indians wouldn't have their marriages lasting much longer than most communities. Their courtships aren't that long but their marriages last longer.
@clearcoast4454 Жыл бұрын
@@phoebe_oumaIt doesn't mean that their marriages are always happy. Even today, Indian people stigmatize divorce, especially in the cases of women. Most of them continue their married lives even when it is toxic because they want to keep their reputations intact
@alleyneT Жыл бұрын
Exactly right. A good marriage requires investment from both partners. Why do women initiate 65% of divorces? Because they’re tired of carrying the relationship and making most of the effort. Men need to step up and be good, committed partners, not just passengers going along for the ride. So many young women and mothers are frustrated, including my daughter. Her husband is addicted to gaming…so many women complain of this now.
@naimasophie Ай бұрын
@@phoebe_oumait's cause they can't divorce and they don't need romance. They literally have 40+ mariage with the woman cooking and the husband on the coach , no talking nothing.
@regina_filange2.0 5 ай бұрын
This is all really good advice for couples that want to be together... I wish I had this wisdom with that one person I drifted from years ago❤
@libidese 11 ай бұрын
i wanted the like this video 10 thousand times! she’s so amazing!!!!!!! ❤❤❤❤
@LinhLolly Жыл бұрын
These can't be more true.
@tomlong5561 Жыл бұрын
this was beautifully stated
@shrushti5830 8 ай бұрын
the only part of the video that made me smile was the thing about couples doing stuff together that just sounds so fascinating and nice :)
@DanielVargasE84 Жыл бұрын
Thank you very much!
@genwill7677 Жыл бұрын
How to Help Your Brain Sustain a Happy Long-term Deep Attachment for Your Partner: •Overlook what you don’t like about your partner •Express empathy for your partner •Control your own emotions •Have sex (the more the better) •Do novel things together •Stay in touch (Kiss, hug, hold hands, play footsies) •Say several nice things each day to your partner
@e.z.t.1514 Жыл бұрын
very informative, great video!
@yosoyroman875 Жыл бұрын
Good stuff to think on and implement in my relationship
@amtrips Жыл бұрын
Positive illusions part is so nicely explained. I always believed it and now someone so well-researched affirmed it for me. We are definitely built to love. This is an eye-opener. A must watch for everyone who are deep into practicing love daily and for those who think love is just a word. Even self-love needs a lot of work. Love is a verb and one of the most novel feelings associated with rewards at various levels and for overall well-being as eusocial animals, and it has its magic. Love is the only powerful medicine for anyone to heal perhaps. Two people need to practice and work on it daily, just like we get ready to go to workplace daily. Only if most humans understood the relationship dynamics (of any form) and put genuine efforts, it would have a better place to live in this world.
@yasssssss420 Жыл бұрын
She was a frequent visitor of Epstein's island, so much so he knew to keep avocado sushi rolls on hand for her. I would be weary taking Advice from someone like her
@nosxing Жыл бұрын
Love is not about finding the perfect person, love is simply loving. This video contradicts itself.
@TheLoveMiku Жыл бұрын
why? When did she say that it should be the perfect person? She just said that you should know each other well before marying someone so you know how they are and behave.
@rocren6246 11 ай бұрын
I wish I married someone as wise as this lady.
@saraloughman7257 Жыл бұрын
It so true. Thank you so much.❤
@The-Well Жыл бұрын
Glad you liked it!
@rajeshpersaud820 5 ай бұрын
Make a lot of sense
@carolina_di_biase Жыл бұрын
Great Video!
@cowcs4131 Жыл бұрын
amazing!
@bigafrogirl5509 8 ай бұрын
So true
@swapna4117 Жыл бұрын
This is a very logical explanation on relationships, positive ofcourse. I have had many breakups...may be it's destiny and it has been more than two years now that I am separated.I am 45 and as explained by Dr.I am still craving for the kind of love which I expected to have from my teens. I agree with the brain information and the three nodes about the intense feeling of love for your partner.I have gone in depression and was in rehabilitation for three times...the research is appropriate because when I analysed I got correct answers.
@equipadont Жыл бұрын
I cant imagine finishing a video about Mrs Clause persuading me to get married ..or let alone have a relationship
@tessarae9127 11 ай бұрын
LOVE her! So validating to hear someone from an older pick up on the fear of intimacy / wish to have stronger relationships as being a driving factor in hook up culture… Helps me make peace with it more (though it is sad how often it can have the opposite effect of finding a long term partner)…
@LunawillWilliam 10 ай бұрын
I love this ❤
@anilgujarati7991 Жыл бұрын
Woww this is so true 😊
@Srilankan2024 2 ай бұрын
I like this slow love process
@marykravchuk9985 Жыл бұрын
I agree with a slow and steady approach. Not rushing. However, casual sex and "friends with benefits" is not a "cautionary phase" in which a person obtains knowledge on how to treat their future partner with love, respect, kindness, understanding, etc. A person is not a car. They shouldn't be "tested" beforehand. Marriage has a purpose and a role. It is a binding contract in which each individual sees the other's flaws and they stay together.
@Love-np2rt Жыл бұрын
I agree, she's wrong about this. In those situations and they're rampant and common now, the partners aren't dedicated to each other nor invested emotionally or the relationship/building the foundation for long lasting love. Men are getting their cake and eating it too/ if non monogamy is a preference for them. I don't know of any situations where casual sex/fwb turned into a loving, committed relationship. It may happen but it's rare, I'm pretty sure. I would love to see a study on this phenomenon....
@coolaa7 11 ай бұрын
Connecting and then disconnecting, intimately, multiple times, is sure to lead to a dysfunction when actually trying to do a permanent connection for marriage.
@xegabberihu5778 8 ай бұрын
she is so beautiful. i been looking her more than listening her.
@bharathsurya7327 Жыл бұрын
The video is very useful
@theturnup9671 Жыл бұрын
Love this
@zhayengshiu2031 Жыл бұрын
Happy long-term is Gift
@davidjohn9006 Жыл бұрын
"Sleeping around" or one-night "hook-ups" are not about "getting to know each other" as such … in most cases, it’s lust and hormones, combined with elements of "power" and control … lol … and take your time getting to know someone "digitally," via apps is not how one gets to know each other … lol
@amandabracaj2989 Жыл бұрын
Okay and when you get to know this person and they can’t satisfy you sexually, this imbalances a relationship. What are you gonna do? What are u gonna do? Masturbate more? Pleasure is stated as a necessity in all philosophy. It’s actually u that is soooo caught up in the elements of power and control! Stop projecting and live ur life dude
@cimimimi8529 Жыл бұрын
They love each other, they will make a relationship. When they dont match each other anymore, they will make a deal to walk away
@priamgupta7020 Жыл бұрын
Very well explained. But my question would be what happens in the case of arranged marriages? People don't get more than 6-7months before they are tie the knot.
@suesmith9665 Жыл бұрын
Love has no method
@argoneonoble Жыл бұрын
I'm 47 and I can clearly say I am ready to get married.
@mjama1256 Жыл бұрын
Good lucky
@ashishgr8764 Жыл бұрын
Why are you getting late?
@nataliaheartcoaching Жыл бұрын
Yes!
@sultanadacosta5 Жыл бұрын
What should one do for distance relationship. Please make a video on this topic 😊❤
@katemunro2579 Жыл бұрын
Care and respect has to be reciprocal, otherwise get out, work on your childhood trauma(s) then you’ll sub-consciously attract a healthier partner !
@atuleazipira2089 Жыл бұрын
Appreciated
@reza2kn 11 ай бұрын
Ok! I don't know to feel consoled with this or continue with wallowing in my pit of loneliness and depression. EVERY.SINGLE.THING that she mentioned would be present in the perfect relationship for me. I would even love to be the person who gives all of these types of support, and caring about their SO's cholesterol levels, etc, let alone be on the receiving end of it! But, me wanting these things has been called "Having too high of an standard or expectations". And now, I don't know if I should be happy to know what I crave is not absurd, or to still feel shitty about not having it, or having had it.
@DroolingMukbang Жыл бұрын
Totally agree
@BellaEstrella7 Жыл бұрын
We’re built to love, but WHERE HE AT? I need some serotonin compliments 😭 willing to give some back as well.
@laurafrancois4825 Жыл бұрын
Omg yess that is how I feel as a single woman
@jeanjasmine Жыл бұрын
Guess I need to learn how to love someone from scratch
@sahar1usa Жыл бұрын
At last I heard it from the scientist I always though of LOVE as the most important foundation in human kind in any type of relationship but unfortunately today's society makes you believe that money is far more important than love and if you are a lover, you are a loser
@EllePlowPlow Жыл бұрын
@5:00 - how to sustain a long term partnership
@Naiaakash Жыл бұрын
Step 1: Get a Partner
@billpetersen298 Жыл бұрын
I love your advice. What does one do? When their partner has early trauma, that causes them to reject affection, and sex. And no, they don’t want to talk about it.
@laurawalker546 Жыл бұрын
I would ask them to go to counseling to get help changing. They need to see how it makes you suffer too. That monster is too big for them to fix on their own. Otherwise you'll have to live with how they are as it takes courage and work to overcome and understand and find peace to transform.
@Angelicaarchangelica Жыл бұрын
Maybe they are just not attracted to you.
@billpetersen298 Жыл бұрын
@@laurawalker546 Hi Laura, we have gone to two therapists. Both times we went together on the first visit. So it wouldn’t look like a set up. She felt threatened, and only went once or twice. Recently, and previously, I’ve asked her to find anyone, of her choosing. Nothing happens. Our modern culture, has lost the wisdom, that having elders gives.
@laurawalker546 Жыл бұрын
@@billpetersen298 that is very sad. Both of you are in a tough place. She doesn't feel safe moving it, and you are living the lasting consequences of her trauma
@SDW3-6-9 Жыл бұрын
If there's a fundamental mismatch like this, the only way the relationship can survive, is if the couple get counseling, if that fails, then agree to Polyamoury. If the affection denier says no way...then the sooner you hit the highway the better, if you want love and kids?
@dorleecollins4971 Жыл бұрын
"Make. Marriage. Great. Again!"
@sharathramachandran4025 Жыл бұрын
How do you explain arranged marriages?
@Sassy004 10 ай бұрын
Hooking up, FWB and casual sex are loveless stuffs so there's no question of exploring things in them. If you're in a romantic relationship with someone then you should explore everything but how can you explore one's personality in hookups? These stuffs are the part of lust so there's no feelings in that, it's a sort of deal of lust between two people and in the bedroom, they're partners and outside the bedroom, they're strangers. These stuffs not only develop trust issues but attachment and commitment issues too. So these things doesn't make any sense
@amitmamgain6357 Жыл бұрын
Quality of a person is important for a relationship. If both people are actual good persons, then they can keep on loving each other. If one or both are a**holes (which is a high percentage of our global society), then they can listen to your advice for 10 years, they will still be a**holes. 🙏
@amitmamgain6357 Жыл бұрын
also thats the reason i don't do online dating. And keep me safe from identity fraud, etc.
@saumyaraj3689 Жыл бұрын
Although, I and my partner are deeply in love and happy together. My partner is a very mischievous person, he always cracks these jokes and doesn't say anything to appreciate me. This is making me feel detached and unloved. I tried raising these issues, but he again skips them and jokes around.
@YuliaGrushevskaya-bi6he Жыл бұрын
Don't analyse just love❤❤❤❤
@lrzleeromanovski8714 Жыл бұрын
Hooking up is exploring ? When half the single people are afraid of committing and hookup culture is ruining these peoples emotions… makes no sense
@YooBro219 Жыл бұрын
This 💯
@captainaryan26 Жыл бұрын
West has gone bonkers in social and political sphere.
@simie8412 Жыл бұрын
Very well thought
@karlijnhtc Жыл бұрын
Indeed... people have no self respect, morals, dignity anymore. Merely following their lust through ego and not letting their soul lead
@benzle93 Жыл бұрын
Yep...not good for the spirit
@pinkrose2062 Жыл бұрын
Hmmm, everybody’s different, meet my husband from tinder in our late 20s Got married in a week , 1 week I said !! Lol Been married for almost 2 years now ,💕🥰
@IvanHadlich Жыл бұрын
Cool one, made me think lol
@dranjali1 Жыл бұрын
where are the books i see no special books in so many places i have been
@varunv2584 Жыл бұрын
I'm in love with shit. She has a great personality.
@carmenacevedo7573 Жыл бұрын
This is it it is a healthy relationship... Nowadays relationship "seekers" seems to be afraid of commitment even to try a relationship and it's a lot of sex with often breakups... doesn't seem to connect/attached but to the sex part. Get attached, and if after two years is not the "right one"...how do you manage that?
@username_creates6991 Жыл бұрын
Its optimistic but I think what Im witnessing online is also just people who don't want to make much of an effort. Cus if someone isn't abusive, you can pretty work through anything with them. Yet people seem to be counting red flags that aren't even negative traits. The amount of times people on social media made me feel like I wasn't in a great relationship with all the genral opinions on relationships and what red flags are. I got off it and my problems I thought I had seemed to dispear with it too. Idk I think people are becoming to much of a perfectionst and aren't promoting communication enough and not giving up on someone just cus they can't read your mind. Also I think it has everything you mentioned and now that I got off of socials my stress and anxiousness has kind of steadied... making it easier to enjoy life and the relationship too
@naimasophie Ай бұрын
I agree but where is the line between true red flags and fake one ? Yes with love you can work things out but for how long ? My ex was impulsive and impatient , are those type of men the kind to actually be patient in the long run? What make a red flag a true red flag?!
@icysnow57cold64 Жыл бұрын
I don't think the romantic type of love is special. And I am started to think that the romantic type of love isn't real. I mean about more than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, while most platonic best friends remain friends until death. I think that having a platonic best friend is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse is. Having someone who's like a sibling to you is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse. Also, you are more likely to be much more closer to someone who's like a brother or sister to you than you would be with a romantic partner or spouse. People tend to fight with their partner or spouse a lot more than they do with a platonic best friend, and you never fight with your best friend the way you fight with your partner or spouse. Partners and spouses are just temporary. If you break up or divorce them, it's hard to go back to them. With your platonic best friend, you're going to make things work, because they are your best friend, they are your go to partner. It's always easier to make amends with them than it is with a romantic partner or spouse.
@fatimayahia3522 Жыл бұрын
And what about those who don't love each other from the beginning??
@heleneelf7454 Жыл бұрын
What do you think about dejtingsites... start something backwards?....
@sukumarmurugan7641 Жыл бұрын
It's not relationship, it's situationship 😮
@CinnamonR504 Жыл бұрын
I truly believe this is great advice for married couples, for unmarried couples this can be dangerous especially for a women.
@elenasanz1985 Жыл бұрын
how can this be dangerous for a women?
@ratelhoneybadger Жыл бұрын
Women generate far greater levels of oxytocin than men from a sexual encounter. It's from evolution because we are the ones who carry and raise babies whilst men just plant and go. So if we are constantly attaching and detaching, it damages our ability to form a solid bond... and it HURTS LIKE HELL!😂
@Love-np2rt Жыл бұрын
Because we're in the Tinder generation/ hook up culture/ ..... I know so many men who have a rotation of sex partners... women are guilty of this as well (no one cares about STDS... and these are peoplein their 30s and 40s). Make sure you're giving a ton of sex to someone you're in a monogamous elationship with first!
@Lulum18 Жыл бұрын
I prefer to do all those things after marriage 🐸💔
@charlita25 Жыл бұрын
I only needed 2 months to see that my first love ❤️ wasn’t worth marrying. If he was more respectful and not a cheater he would have been a perfect mate.
@nyssatang1173 Жыл бұрын
things faded away within a year or two top, no matter whoever im with.
@ladolcevita5582 3 ай бұрын
5:15 🎁 thank you
@Paul-yk7ds Жыл бұрын
Gotta see how my girlfriend handles Halloween... lol
@lisagehrig7023 Жыл бұрын
Twice!
@melissagarza2376 Жыл бұрын
Right..lol! more like worry about Christmas & Thanksgiving
@askew9976 4 ай бұрын
No stability since I was 19. 47 and done.
@fleshanthos 8 ай бұрын
Married 20 years. Needn't have bothered with the scrub broads before. Wife is great. Don't want anyone else. Too true: ignore the flaws. Focus on the positive. Be kind to them. They are the FIRST person to show patience to; NOT strangers. They are the LAST person to take out your negative emotions on.
@user-cx5wn9nj9j 8 ай бұрын
I understand everything you're saying. I just need a partner. Some people will ask: Why don't you look for it. Couldn't find it. And then nothing and then nothing. You'll find that the greatest doctors in the world can't do anything about it. That's why the world can be so boring
@MariaMartinez-researcher Жыл бұрын
7:10. "Positive illusions." So... Is lasting love self-delusion? At what point not wanting to see other thing than the positive in the partner turns a lasting love into subservience, or enjoying (so to speak) an abusive relationship?
@Roni5 Жыл бұрын
it's a hint to her either not knowing well about the subject of love and what it is biologically, or she poorly explained the questions and her points to a relevant degree
@2126Eliza Жыл бұрын
Because being abused feels like shit.
Gufee.medalin
Рет қаралды 10 МЛН