Ach, ich bin ein deutschen

終極神卡 *Deutscher

Voornaam Achternaam ich kannst nicht sprechen deutschen

hell of a power nap

Uff, looks like there positon of power is not existent.

Not even a lie

Denmark found war boring

Denmark 2019: Fights for a few minutes

They got tired

2050 Denmakistan :

True

Denmark 1940 3.8 million people -> Army on 14 thousand. Finland 1940 3,69 million people - Army of 475 thousand. Denmark and their "building of military capability." xD

Chell-sama we had a larger army but that was only the amount of troops engaged in the combat

@@TrueChell And Finnland actually beat back the USSR!

@@reellezahl Errr no. No it did not. It held the USSR at bay for a while, but I did not beat them back and in fact did lose, giving the USSR a phyrric victory. The Soviets took border areas off Finland and seized most of not all of their ships.

This one is gold....hahahahaha

OMG Hahahaha

Hahaha

If you can’t go to Germany. Then Germany can come to you.

Quite literally too

We (the Danes back then) were just told via the radio and newspapers that Germany was protecting us from the Britains (I know, it sounds stupid)

@@orr4337 Britain did kill more of my people in bombings than the Germans. Yeah, they were not wrong.

Thor Hornshoej - Schierbeck Yes they did.

@@jamesbhollingsworth5452 but that was after Germany began "protecting" us, and in the process use the west coast for bomb shelters and cannons

Thor Hornshoej - Schierbeck ok

Not really though. Denmark didn't cease to exist as a country in any way, shape or form, it was simply occupied. It wasn't annexed into the Reich Luxembourg-style, it wasn't even given the Reichskommissariat status the way Norway, the Netherlands, Belgium and North France were.

​@@50shekels Only a couple territories were fully annexed, such as Austria, the Sudetenland, Luxembourg as well as the parts of Poland that did not form either the General Government or the Soviet occupation zone which after Barbarossa were turned into Reichskommissariats. In fact, it was almost exactly like the pre-1914 Imperial Germany, except with Austria, Luxembourg and the Sudetenland.

@@50shekels Jesus Christ dude, calm the fuck down! I only expanded upon what you wrote there is all.

@@noavanderhoorn2996 you dont wake up in a new county, you wake up in another countrys air space

@@Alex-yz6uq What if he slept until landing?

Austra: Did you guys fought back?

@@Mitaka.Kotsuka Fight* back. Idiot.

1 day*

@@Mitaka.Kotsuka they didnt really get invaded though

Whether or not it was a sensible thing to surrender so quickly can be debated, but the extent of collaboration which took place afterwards was shameful.

Also an invasion of denmark from the british to get an easy flank to berlin wouldnt be completely out of the question

@@reedcoffman3210 a little late but did they help the finish people the poles ? No they did not. And with that in the minds of the Danish people in 1940 there was no realistic way we would have held the germans at bay.

The Germans helped the Fins in the winter war, so yeah Germany was protecting the Danes.

@@peter-8483 u talking about continuation war. in winter war finland recieved no outside help.

@@QWERTY-gp8fd Thats wrong. nordic countries, like Estonia and Hungary helped alot in the winter war

I agree

I agree

I agree

I agree

I agree

Zeros DaBast hitler: didn’t expect that reaction but that’s ok

Denmark was too small to offer any sign of resistance to the Wehrmacht. It's either surrender, save the people or be crushed. Denmark opted the first option!

@@JSolisHD the thing I would have done is make a bigger millitary around 1,4 million people was men so if they attacked they would be pushed back and they would not strike back because of the resources it would take

Denmark did not get bombed in the war (except one time i think) we were treated well by the germans but histery see us as part of the allies, we got money from the marshall plan i call it a pro gemere move

@@crazydinosaur8945 yes i know i am also from Denmark

He also rode through the streets on horseback later to encourage the Danish Resistance. No guards or any protection. All it would’ve taken was one Wehrmacht sniper using one round.

@@cpegg5840 - And the Germans knew with absolute certainty that IF that happened, they'd have popular uprisings on their hands, which would make the one that actually happened when martial law was imposed in 1943 seem like a toddler's temper tantrum by comparison. That's why it didn't happen. Way too much trouble for.....what gain, exactly?

I know this is an old comment but I would also like to point out that when it became illegal to put up the Danish flag but the government were gonna do it one day anyway, the Germans were told to shoot the person who did it. The Danish king ended up doing it and no one got shot.

@@Gnomgnash the germans must have been like "He can't do that! Shoot him or something"

@@crazydinosaur8945 Thats a good line

The 1864 Danish decision to go to war with Prussia and get so resoundingly routed that 1/3 of the nation's area was lost plays some part in it as well. Danes love mocking other countries, but above all we love mocking ourselves. And above that mocking the Swedes ofc

@@JarmamStuff We finns love mocking Swedes too. With love, ofc.

@@Purjo92 At the same time most Swedes doesn't even know that Finns study Swedish in school. Heck, most Swedes relate to Finns as the creators of Mumin and Koskenkorva.

That sounds like something a Canadian would do

The reason for this is that the Army and Navy had different systems of alerts, so while the Army had been on high alert, the Navy was not, and the batteries around Copenhagen were all the navys. Add to that a bit of miscommunication, and technical difficulties at the battery that actually could have done something, and they got in totally unopposed.

@@vrenak batteries not included lol

@@joek600 Well done :D

Just imagining the training they had to do to get ready for that exact moment, expecting coastal batteries and ships to be swarming you and in reality you leisurely stroll out of the landing craft into the enemy capital and call it an invasion

"I am Speed" -Christian X

vi er bare så venlige,

To save time, I assume?

@@bosto23 idk I think he actually might be trying to save time

Except that didn't happen...

I'd add to that, that obviously the Danes didn't like the arrangement, but for the good of the country they had to accept German presence, and until large scale protests erupted in August 1943 Denmark did get to manage its own affairs - as long as it was approved by the Germans of course. After the protests in Aug 1943 and an ultimatum directly from Hitler, the government stepped down and the police and military was disbanded - deported to concentration camps - and the Danish Jews who had until then been allowed to carry on were hunted down on October 1. Almost all of them had luckily been transported to safety in Sweden by then. The Nazis would implement the same harsh conditions as in other occupied countries, and Denmark was de facto without a government from then on as resistance towards the occupiers grew.

@@urlauburlaub2222 Yeah sure, we became one of the best places to live in world, by being lazy. Nice logic :D

@@urlauburlaub2222You sound like a typical uneducated right wing American. Denmark's unemployment is 2,5% while the US is about 4%. Plenty of things happen in Denmark, and our neighbors are also successful, and they don't hate us. Anything else you are confused about?

@@asgerv you seem prety confused by the simple fact that you assume that a right winger would be unedducated but for some retarded reason a left winger would be very educated when if you have eyese and more than a functioning neuron you d realise that especialy in america it's not the case. Nothing happens in denmark, get over it.

@@VladRadu-tq1pgI agree that both right and left wing can be uneducated, but there is no one on the left trying to shit on Denmark for being socialist and what not. So that's why it's pretty clear

ah yes , the 38 minute „ war ”

​@@paulgabrielbruma6712either irl Zanzibar war or Metal gear 2 Solid Snake scenario

Yes, before the occupation they spoke English...

@@oenrn and during they were annexed... During the... *Occupation*

I thought Denmark spoke Danish, not English.

r/massivewooooosh

😂😂

lol

Nejkropp: Dansken: jag överlämning!

Andreas .O Denmark had a few million people vs a European army of millions. Do the math yourself

@@50shekels hmm I am not that good at math but didn't Finland have less people back 1939 winter war than Denmark had 1940 and didn't Soviet Union have more people than Germany had? So with that math Denmark should have been able to resist?

@@ninaakari5181 yes Finland, the land of few roads, lots of trees, and harsh weather is easily comparable to Denmark, one of the flattest and plain countries in Europe

...and then the German soldiers were so obtrusively polite...they stood up in the tram to make room for the elderly and greeted the king with military honors when he rode out again....:)

Not reallly - the army wasnt allowed to fight. The Germans expected the Invasion of Norway to fail if they didnt take Jutland in a day. Had the fighting not been stopped long before the Germans had even advanced to Vejle where the Jutland division was setting up the main defence line I dont think they would have been able to do that. The little fighting that did take place mostly consisted of a series of ambushes from unprepared positions along the German routes of advance rather effectively buying time for setting up defences further north. Had we kept the forces we mobilized when Poland was invaded and prepared defences there is no way the Germans would have been able to achieve their objectives in time for them to matter, which would have prevented the invasion - they only invaded because they needed Jutland as a stepping stone to invade Norway.

Ah, nothern Europe autokorrekct

@@CarlAlex2 Whether the army was allowed to fight or not, it was still one of the quickest conquests in human history. The fact that you rolled over meant it was an _easy_ conquest - not a non-conquest.

​@@CarlAlex2 your right tho. The danish army of the time was not completely unprofessional. Many competent leaders and soldiers. Their anti tank squads took out german armored cars and light tanks rather effectively. And in most the skirmishes that did happen they had few casualties while inflicting more in the enemy.

Depends on if you're counting Zanzibar. The British were speedrunning that day

LOL

cringe

No!!! Denmark was OCCUPIED not ANNEXED. They were still denmark. But the danish government was dissolved and replaced with german puppets

@@pleasenohate7505 go play guitar.

@@pleasenohate7505 You must remember that he ist the real libtard.

Indeed, that would be great, especially the sinking of the Blücher by an obsolete fortress manned by recruits and commanded by a retired colonel.

Yeah, Britain failed terribly with Norway. Bless that poor man Chamberlain

Hey, isn't it a war, that lasted 2 days (ended in Battle of Narwik in 1940)?

Admirał Patryk 2 months not days

@@Admiral45-10 what? No. It lasted 5 months. And it was a on going resistance to the occupation for the rest of the war.

His mom died before WW1

Euro '92...

together we can stop this

@@MrBuTaforos by annexing Denmark

@Keitou Creations are you Italian?

kennedy072 Hold= Halte

@@checkcommentsfirst3335 so it would be: Halt mein Bier? You know since to make the imperative word you need to remove e/st/t/en ?

soapek yes as a German you should know it but can say both: „halte mein Bier“ means exactly the same line „halt mein Bier“. „Halte“ is more polite. Don’t correct me again if you’re wrong too

@@checkcommentsfirst3335 do you know what "?" Means? I asked a question, not corrected yoy.

tbf the Earth is just a bit bigger than Denmark

Well, after all it is necessary to get behind someone before you can stabt them in the back.

eric cloud Norway was in the same position, yet they fought. I agree with the fact that the Danish government made the best choice, and spared hundreds if not thousands of lives.

@@redopps8438 i remember something about Norway receiving a bit more help than Denmark ever got

@@redopps8438 The danish geography is vastly different than the norwegian

​@@redopps8438 during the winter war the british and french wanted to pick finnish side, but purposely dragged out the war in order to use it as an excuse for stationing troops in Norway, because Norway was already being used as a transportation line for the german-swedish iron trade, this "betrayel" actually led to the finnish choosing Axis in the "continuation war" because they had lost faith in the allies. So already before the war, the allies were preparing to defend Norway and not Denmark. Copenhagen is also within Stuka bomber range of Germany, Zealand, the island Copenhagen is located on, is in the baltic sea which the germans held in a strong grip with the Tirpitz and Scharnhorst not to mention the Bismarck in 1940, and the Luftwaffe being stronger than RAF at the time made it impossible to supply the capital. Everybody knew Denmark would fall, just like Czeckoslovakia and Austria, it would have been almost impossible for the allies to do anything about it, and Denamrk wasn't important to th allies, and no one knew that more than the danish government. Norway was far more important, and possible to defend due to the long coastline and mountains putting the Luftwaffe and Kriegsmarine at a disadvantage

Time Travelling 🤣

Finland: 150+ days against the Soviet Union and resisted occupation entirely Finland is the modern crown jewel of the Nordic countries in every conceivable way

Anything above 3 days isn’t bad. That means some regiments were winning but the main force surrendered. 6 hours is definitely bad though haha

Sweden: a visit to the foreign minister.

* Mom 6 hours later: Germany travelled to us.

you can still do that in under the time

You mean

It takes a maximum of 4 hours to travel from the absolute most northern part of Denmark to Flensburg + your joke is overused and not funny

Blood Panthera Well in the case of Luxembourg it became part of Germany and thus the Wehrmacht enforced conscription recruiting about 13.000 soldiers.

But the young men in Denmark was promist that it was a great thing to help germany and Many of the men was unemployed and poor.

it's always good to fight commies

Pretty sure German pronunciation is a he, German is a musculine, there's reason it called "fatherland"

@@Havsue 'Die Mannschaft' in German is feminine.

As of the posting of this comment, the whole thing with English subtitles is free on KZfaq, hit it up.

It's a really good movie.

When a car accident probably killed more than operation weseremburg or whatevrr

Unternehmen Weserübung

@@crimplay397 ik it's been a month but thanks for clearing some of my lack of german

Please, no Problem :)

lol *picture of Hitler on the wall*

It’s great how this probably happened to someone. They just take a nap and wake up seven hours later to find they’ve been occupied.

Something feels different, but I can’t put my finger on it. *He said looking out the window at thousands of Swastikas and armed soldiers from the Wehrmacht in Copenhagen*

I wish 😍

@@wrightypegz8997 occupied ? Well yes I suppose but they didn't mean the Danish any harm they needed it because if they didn't the Brits would go there and occupy them right on Germany's doorstep and let's face it there was hardly any resistance and many Danes volunteered especially to fight the USSR which was threatening to attack Finland since before the war .

Everyone laughs at france because they actually had a chance of stopping germany

@@lucasbeck1391 it happenned 20 years before but France can't be the balls of all Europe.when you lose millions of people each war you can't go making wars every 20 years 😂

@@lucasbeck1391 On paper the french army was far superior to the german one

@@Atreides1GDI and that's why france is mocked

TogerThe Tigerking Funny, pity the "surrender monkey" theme was invented by the US to get revenge on the French as they didn't agree on helping the US murder people during the second gulf war... and you know the government surrendered, but many continued in the "Résistance" and in the Free French under Général De Gaulle

USSR outnumbered the Germans 10:1. Germans outnumbered the Danes 10:1.

@@jimmiller5600, lol, no. USSR and axis on east front have 1/1 killed troops.

@S K, USSR fight against all Europe and final casualty 1/1 KD

@@secretbunnie2206 1 minute google search tells me you are wrong. German losses: 5 million Soviet losses: 8.4 million

@@lirum_larum_loffelstiehl1107 Hungary, Italy, Romania, Ukrainian nationalists, Volkssturm, collaborators from Western countries, ROA, Kwantung Army, Japan, etc. Ukranians - 700.000 Japan + Kwantung - 1.000.000+ ROA - 1.000.000 And others

Why fight someone who see you as superhumans

@@AbuHajarAlBugatti That doesn't make any sense.

@@PANZERFAUST90 most danish: Blonde Hitlers Aryan fetish: Blonde Superhumans according to NSDAP: Blonde I wouldve joined them too lmao

@@AbuHajarAlBugatti Oh you're speaking from the German perspective. That makes more sense now.

@@AbuHajarAlBugatti I still wonder too. But the fact that hitler made it not violent compared to France and Poland made me think he still cares about the “superiors”.

@Fädernesland you haven't kicked anybody's ass for 300 years. Sweden's great power status disappeared in the early 1700s. You are still occupying eastern Denmark and were only able to hold on to it because peace terms was dictated by European great powers who didn't want to same country controlling both sides of Øresund.

@Fädernesland sure sure, you kicked a lot of ass (just not for 500 years as you stated). Scania was definitely being spilt from Denmark because the great powers was not going to allow the same kingdom controlling both sides of Øresund. This is a fact. It is also the reason why Sweden was not given the opportunity to absorb all of Denmark, even if it very much was able to at several points, unifying all of Scandinavia under the swedish crown. This would have been equally unacceptable to France, Russia etc. This is all before the formation of the modern political systems, so it's bit moot by now. Of course this may have been omitted in the swedish history lessons, but try to do a bit of research into how the old norwegian and danish provinces became swedish. A century of torture, executions, ethnic cleansing. Proud of that?

Fädernesland Denmark and Sweden have had 144 years of war with each other. However Sweden more or less invented the concept of a national army and its structure plus they had natural resources to produce cannons etc. Once they got the manpower advantage too. It was kind of over. Added with the fact that we had Danish Kings who had a talent of being fools when it came to international Affairs. But Sweden would never been allowed to absurb Denmark. A combined Scandinavian Kingdom with a Streamlined nobility loyal to one King would have shifted the powerbalance of Europe to much.

@Fädernesland damn you toxics, treating great disasters like some games All borders of the world should either stay as they are or be rubbed of the map in unity

@Fädernesland I think you need to study the books again. In 13 wars, Denmark won 6, Sweden 7. Denmark lost Skåne but Sweden lost Norway, Finland and large parts of the Baltics. I think it's quite equal. Both lost from the wars. Scandinavia needs to stick together. A new Kalmar Union. That way we'd be a economic power house and could dictate more.

it's "knock knock" and if you wanted to be german, it's "Klopf Klopf"

Do you even know what a joke is?

the deuteragonist he probably know what blitzkrieg is when he writed a joke about it and this joke is pretty funny so whats the problem?

Knock knock Who's there? Macht Macht wer(German for who)? No Wehrmacht

Instead we surrendered SO FAST that no one even noticed and we didn't become a meme.

Denmark: Hold my beer! Austria: Am I a joke to you?

Legal beer drinking age of Austria: 16 Legal beer drinking age of Denmark: whenever your parents hands you one or 16, whichever comes first. Denmark: Yes, yes you are. EDIT: upon further research, I have found that private drinking isn't regulated in Austria either, but apparently they can't legally drink in public until 16.

@@theposhdinosaur7276 It depends on the federal state. E.g. in Vienna it is legal to buy and drink even strong alcohol like vodka with 16 while it is 18 in others.

@@Leo-uu8du they didn't invade Austria . Austria is German and wanted to become part of greater Germany.

Most of the European nations are definitively to blame. The ignored all the signs and neglected their militaries. Germany could have easily been stopped in the 1930‘s if the people at the top of each nation did not fuck up so badly. Politicians all were way to naive. When in 1939 they realised that they were wrong it was too late. E.g. France only lost because its leadership was so incompetent they deserve the bloody Darwin Award. Its military was better then Germany‘s for the most part.

Denmark surrendering was worth it for one single reason; We kept our government and our police force, which allowed us to turn a blind eye when the Danish resistance loaded 7000 Jews (out of the 7200 Jewish population at the time) and sailed them to Sweden. If we'd resisted, those Jews would've all been dead.

Well, france is a different story

@@ma16nu Because France has a huge ego, also it was resisting Germany, one of the countries they fought since existence out of fear of getting clapped and well look what happened XD Even though it would've been almost impossible, I do wonder how Britain would get treated under German control had the Germans a good Navy in comparison.

Well, France cannot be compared here. The nation did fight, and on paper at least had its chance. This is more about a huge strategic blunder than anything else, as to everyone surprise (germans included) the german battle plan was the exact counter to the french one, and germany ended up encircling and cutting the supply lines of the french army after "minimal" (still at ww1 rate per day) casualty rate against second rate troops left behind by the french. But we are speaking about a 6 weeks battle, a century ago. A century before that it took 19 days to the french army to bulldoze its way to Berlin and plant the french flag. Western europe isn't that big a place.

The Danes be like: *Hvad fanden?*

i searched for that comment

Denmark: Oh look it's the Civil Protection. Wait...

faster than the combine

@@bepobsk3680 i heard people compare the combine to the gestapo in nazi germany. i think they have a point

1 hour off

Breaking news: you have cancer (Sorry)

BREAKING NEWS: THATS FRANCE

@@lauritorni4879 indeed

neki0 playz i hate u XD

Whats so funny about it? That there are loads of drinking water fontains in copenhagen?

Oprop...

feels so sad man

Soldiers, Border guards and police KIA - 43 (16 on the day of invasion) Resistance fighters KIA - 500, executed after sentence 101, died in concentration camp 260 Other concentration camp victims - jews 60, police and border guards 120, so callled anti socials 165 Civilians - Air raids 308, German acts of terror 575, the 1944 uprising in Copenhagen 87, sailors in domestic and continental waters 1000 Alllied Service - soldiers 100 (including a VC recipient), war sailors 850 German Service and collaborators - soldiers 2000, liquidated by the resistance 400, lynched after the war 25, executed after receiving a death sentence in court 46 Even disregarding the last category a wee bit more than 4

@@CarlAlex2 Oh wow I never knew so many died. I somehow heard that it was only 4.

@@CarlAlex2 lol thanks. Btw i had one in my family getting executed

lol of course a trained and armed soldier intimidated by the words of a random guy with no defense

@@lasarus71 Yeah, because threatening the head of state of the country you’re in whose deposition or death would provoke an uprising is a *brilliant* idea

@@Edmonton-of2ec uprising ? wake up to reality thats impossible there's more men in wehrmacht than entire denmark population, maybe he wouldn't shoot him but saying he was "very scared" is completely ridiculous

@@lasarus71 Difference between being scared and intimidated

@@Edmonton-of2ec intimidated involves being scared

The military was more for trying to keep the germans away not actually defending the country since that would be impossible

@@reedcoffman3210 They got invaded by a ferry, icebreaker and two patrol boats, coastal artillery failed to fire a warning shot. It's about as embarrassing as it gets to be honest.

No the complete opposite we lowered owner military from 40.000 troops to 7000 in just some years before

@@diomepa2100 winter war was more embarrassing:P

@@Norup928 weeks - not years. The protection fotce was mobilized when Poland was invaded and then sent home.

It was borring

No, Russia never thought that...

Wait, bornholm was occupied until 1946? How?

@@oberstbaum The russians decided to occupy it for a year.

@@TheTriforceDragon loool ok, inzeresting. Why did they went away after a year?

@@oberstbaum Succesful negotiations from Denmark, from what I gathered. They occupied it to get rid of a German position there and then wanted to keep it for its strategic value. It was handed back to Denmark under the condition that no foreign (that is, mostly no American) troops were stationed there.

@@oberstbaum told them we had nukes in NATO.

😄

@@PurOwO he seems oddly happy about it 🤔

@@kukifitte7357 that because Norway lasted longer than Denmark in WW2.

@@sethfrisbie3957 🇳🇴🇩🇰

@@sethfrisbie3957 yet still lost