Hello you savages. Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - chriswillx.com/books/ Here's the timestamps: 00:00 Do We Think About Trauma Wrong? 03:56 Link Between Trauma & Chronic Stress 07:28 Why Trauma Causes Us to Shield Ourselves 12:41 How to Not Be at the Mercy of Your Feelings 21:34 Does Trauma Make Us More Vulnerable to Future Trauma? 26:48 Tips to Being More Self-Compassionate 33:58 How Trauma Manifests as Illness 38:32 Principles for Treating Trauma 50:49 Opening Up to Other People 1:01:40 What Bessel is Excited About 1:04:38 Bessel’s New Book 1:05:04 Where to Find Bessel

10:55 quote "Trauma robs you of the feeling that you are in charge of yourself. " -BvdK

21:53 Yes the traumatized can be amazing caregivers and patient teachers because they know how badly they needed loving kindness when they were young and being neglected and abused...but...that doesn't erase the negative impact of that trauma. I was always praised for how well I took care of others but was deeply hurting inside..and still am. I don't want to be a martyr anymore making everyone else feel good but myself.

Watching this reminded me of the movie "Good Will Hunting" - especially the scene where Robin Williams says "It's not your fault." over and over until Will Hunting breaks down crying. This scene always gets me. It's not your fault that it happened to you. You're alright. 👍

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom" - Viktor E. Frankl

Shout out to the yoga teachers and martial arts instructors who “really get it” and are embodied practitioners~

Chris! I think this will just break the internet! Mr. Bessel van der Kolk is one of my favorite authors, and a pure heart! A good and deeply empathetic men. His book Body Keeps The Score is life changing! I wished for so long to see him talking with you or on Jordan B. Peterson podcast! Thank you for giving a platform for such an amazing figure he is!

WOW, that is such an important point that he makes, we should teach children in school of all ages how to cope with their feelings, self regulation of their body n brain n dealing with touch n interactions with other people, etc! The idea of holding weekly classes is BRILLIANT, it would be absolutely world changing 💕🌎⭐️⭐️⭐️

My jaw LITERALLY dropped open when I opened KZfaq and seen this!!! Chris - THANK YOU!!

One of the best books ever written.

His focus on the body's response to trauma is a vital insight for deeper healing. Integrating self-regulation and self-awareness into educational systems could indeed pave the way for a more resilient and empathetic society 🧠.

Earlier today I was watching a Donald Kalsched on Trauma and somebody in the audience shocked others by stating this: "There seems to be this idea that in order for me to get better I have to be responsible for my own pain and I think that I don't have to be responsible for my wounding to be responsible for my getting well."

I cant believe you have Bessel van der Kolk on your podcast! Big respect to you - you cant elevate any higher than this, Imho. He is such a wonderful man, with so much integrity, on top of his vast knowledge and wisdom. He has done more in the realms of our understanding of trauma than anyone else.

9:30 types of trauma... CPTSD- the child that was chronically ignored and dismissed by caregiver.

I loved Bessel's book. Figuring out what allows us to feel safe is tricky and can lead to grasping and aversion which is not helpful. I found that learning and building the skill of self trust (trust in our skills, trust we can learn new skills and trust that we can apply our skills as needed) is a healthy way of developing safety. As we build self-trust (psychologists call this self-efficacy) our fears naturally subsite. We cannot push our fears away to gain the feeling of safety but we can do exercises to build self-trust.

I was a mess for a long time, from childhood til my late 20s. Life dealt me some crazy cards. I did my best to weather it, but I was still an emotional wreck. But my Borderline, PDST, Depression, Anxiety, and Panic Disorder have been almost completely cured over the course of a year by just four things: getting off anti-depressants, eating a whole-food diet, rigorous daily exercise (cardio & weights), and microdosing 150mg of psilocybin twice a week. Completely reset my brain and changed my life entirely. Your videos and interviews have helped tremendously with my perspective shift and educating me on what my body needs and who I could become, Chris. Thank you.

Teaching self regulation in school would be so great. ❤

Dr Van der Kolk wrote one of the best books I'd ever read. Much respect, Chris!

I healed my sexual trauma and the first book to open my eyes to this was “crystal healing + sacred pleasure”. Which lead me to the body keeps the score. The Mindy body connection and somatic healing is what makes sense. I totally understand what you’re saying about being the aware person who is able to be that person for others who are hurting and needing compassion and empathy. 🌻

I totally attribute Rolfing being the intergal bodywork that helped me with my trauma. Luckily, I found a Rolfer that also has an osteopathy degree.

My mother. Zero supportive social reception. I remember once she asked me "what did you do" when I told her my school friend wasn't talking to me. Imagine how this lack of social support from your own mother screws you up.

This guys book was a gem. Thank you for this interview.

What an excellent guest to have on! One of the most important people on planet earth on healing trauma! Thank you! The Body Keeps the Score should be read by everyone!

His book _The Body Keeps the Score_ is a life-saver!! Especially if, in addition to all else, you went through war & extreme political instability, being trapped in a place you couldn't escape from, and can't ever feel safe again, anywhere. ❤ I stopped feeling stupid for & ashamed of things that happened to me & of my reactions to certain events. This helps me not only be more grounded myself, but also be more compassionate towards others who may harshly react against me or to something I've said or done, because I can detect their trauma & how scared they must be, and I try give grace to people.

I have a common refrain when addressing complaints I hear from people about their physical maladies; "The human body was designed to move. If you're not moving, you're not doing it right." At least part of this conversation seems to suggest that my view is applicable to mental health, too. :)

I have traumas, not trauma. I've lost all my life opportunities, potential, childhood and youth to traumas and the self-destruction coming from them. Most nights I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about how I lost the best years of my life that will never come back and it gives me this urge to scream or elbow my pillow which sometimes I do. I always have a problem staying in touch with reality. Part of it is because I haven't slept enough the night before and another part is because I hate my reality. The only thing I really care about is revenge. I don't want a supersport car or a mega-mansion, I wanna be physically fit and healthy, I want a good night's sleep, I want energy and I want revenge. I'm willing to sacrifice many things to achieve my goals and I do but every once in a while I relapse and get on that self-destructive path again. The problem is that most of the time I know I'm about to do the wrong thing and waste my time and traumatize myself even more, but I do it anyway. It feels like I've been stuck in a loop all my life. I don't know if this makes me sound like an idiot but sometimes while I am lying down in the bed I hold my hand up hoping someone grabs it; maybe God, maybe another version of me from a parallel universe or maybe my childhood self. Speaking of my childhood self, sometimes I fantasize about hugging the little man, which I can't do too much without tearing up. Every time I listen to Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd it reminds me of him as if we're simultaneously living in the past and future "… How I wish, how I wish you were here We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl Year after year Running over the same old ground, what have we found? The same old fears, wish you were here" I really wish he was here so I could hug him and tell him how sorry I am that I couldn't protect him. I don't know where and when we got separated, but I hope one day down the road we meet again.

15 minutes in and im hooked. What an amazing guest. I wish every therapist/counselor had to watch his teaching. We'd all be better off ❤

I have a post-it note on the mirror that says: There are parts of your own brain that are not your friend. Digging deep into understanding the committee in your head is the direction to finding your own psychological freedom.

Huge interview! This is the most important trauma expert and pioneer in the world. Thanks/congrats on having him on.

I became a CNA in 2003 after doing a bit of soul searching. I realized looking back through my lifes , actions, the people, places, and experiences, that I was born to be of service to others. When my oldest daughter was in junior high she's now 34, told me that I'm a "do gooder" and that I'm that way to make me feel good about myself. I know for a fact that the abuse, neglect and abandonment I experienced is nothing compared to many others' experiences. I am not the sum total of my past experiences. I'm an evolving human with awesome potential.

Came from a loving family where the trauma of my Dad turned me into a very compassionate and inquisitive person. This left me open to predators. Male predators were easier to identify and deal with . It took me many years to see how the other side works and why.

57:42 I recently got out of an inpatient 10 week trauma/addiction program. This man's book was one of the most promoted and discussed pieces of work that we accessed. Though this convo doesn't actually hit on a lot of what actual trauma patients take (or maybe just chat about) from his work. He actually does hit the points but the book levels it. He's obviously a better writer than he is a talker. Which is ok. ❤ Thank you, Chris. You couldn't have handled this better ❤😢

Truly, thank you for this episode. I think it will help bring a greater awareness of what psychological trauma is and how it impacts the person as a whole. It can be challenging to articulate the effects of trauma to family and friends in a way that they can understand. I highly recommend sharing this episode with friends, family, and especially your partner so they can better understand where you're coming from.

One of my deepest lessons was: Don't expect anyone to be anything. Expectations of others was a long-term source of depression and frustration until I finally realized/solved that curse.

Finished reading The Body Keeps the Score a couple days ago, awesome timing!

Love that work like this, Dispenza and Sarno is going more mainstream. I’ve self-healed CRPS, allergies, osteoarthritis and Reynaud’s by tapping into my unconscious and the buried issues that were resulting in these physical manifestations

As someone who is experiencing psychogenic seizures as a result of trauma, I needed to hear this. I wish he would speak on psychogenic nonepileptic seizures specifically though.

Dr. Bessel is the best…..a true life-saver….body and soul…..💜✝☮✝💜✝☮✝💜

39:20 let go alarm 39:56 MDMA for very shut down 40:20 hypotheses of change awareness. 59:20 favorite psychodrama 1:04:00 Chuck Shuker

I spent more than a decade minimizing and not even knowing I had been severely traumatized, just because it fell in a different "category" of trauma than the common, typical abuse from parents. I thought I have nice loving parents so the thing I went through doesn't count as "trauma". It took around 4 therapists confirming to me the degree of extremity of the event to realize and begin acknowledging... totally relate with the minimization.

Creating more liminal space actively (practice, practice) between an event and a response will eventually lead to control over response, which will lead to a greater focus on reactions and changing them. Entertaining the idea that although we may not be able to create more bandwidth, we might be able to plasticize it like a balloon, and that will also give us more capacity. My reactions to some of my worst triggers have gone, and so, my response is different. Think of epigenetics. Over the last couple of decades I have changed my genetic expression. That's empowering. It's painful, time and thought consuming and maybe some people don't have the fundamentals to even grasp changing how they think, (if I'm color blind it's pointless to demand I see the color red) but it's also a great blessing; an honor. This work has given me a purpose for my challenging past and also sanded off the jagged edges. The challenge for those of us who do it, is to move from the head of book smarts and chatter, to the heart. Live in the flow.

So excited to see this man. I have other books about this: The body speaks its mind. The body never lies. I do bodywork professionally. I see this everyday. It’s so important.

Thank you so much for bringing him on your podcast Chris 👏

What a fantastic Good Will Hunting Professor Dr. Vin de Kolk!

Thank you Chris, Bessel Van Der Kolk is a great therapist and author, a lovely healing presence. Thank you x

From the exceptional interviews about trauma!!! relevant, concrete, important and subtle questions... and the Máster VD Kolk on trauma always really lucid, humble and illuminating. Thank you!!! 👍

Chris you became my favorite podcaster, Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk.. is helpful to healing my brokenness, grieving the loss of my Mom, she was My Mom friend business partner then kind & generous. My Mom was always on my side, have massive gratitude I spent quality time with her, so artistic, so creative productive. She said " when I am gone you are going to miss me." wow true.

I gave dr. Van der kolk's book to my ex and she ridiculed it. I found it very insightful and saw the how it could truly help other people but i guess it is easier for some people to make fun of others efforts

His book was the beginning of my trauma healing journey

Thank you Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk for your gigantic contribution!

Wow. Amazing guest....you are slaying it right now Chris. Thank you x

Some toxic parents (like mine) were victims, themselves, of toxic parents. Toxic people tend to isolate from the rest of society, as non-toxic people would find their behavior and lifestyle EXTREMELY peculiar (and most likely some sort of investigation would ensue). My parents were actively trying to do the right thing by us. My siblings and I had vastly superior childhood to theirs, specifically because of a concentrated effort on their part to do better than their parents did. They just literally didn't know how to act right, and now are filled with regret to see their children struggling with trauma that they themselves inadvertently caused. 🤥 I pity them.

Thanks Chris! Another ball hit out of the park!! Keep 'em coming!!❤

Amazing!!!! This made my day! I referenced this brilliant man’s findings in my dissertation. Thank you Dr. Van Der Kolk

A step in the right direction. Looking forward to seeing how this interview travels and meanders.

His book changed my life. Thank you, Bessel! ❤

So happy to see him on your Podcast His book changed my life in 2020... trauma healing is quite the journey. Pete Walker would be another great guest.

Thank you for giving BvdK a voice on your platform, the whole world needs to hear his message.

Wow! It's over already. I truly enjoyed this one! Thank you Chris and Bessel for this amazing conversation 👏🏻 like to hear more please and thank you 🙌🏻🫶🏻✌🏻

Thank you for this episode. I really enjoyed it.

I read his book The Body Keeps the Score, it was truly awesome and relatable. I loved this interview, because your questions really opened up a lot of his experiences and knowledge. It was great to be able to listen and learn from this! Thank you ❤

recently diagnosed with c-PTSD, I'm 43 and had a load of childhood (5 yrs old at the time) memories come back of my dad going through cancer treatment. Took 25 years of feeling terrible to get a diagnosis, would never have got there if it wasn't for this guy and his book - would still be thinking I was a lazy, moaning git.

one thing ive noticed living with my ex over the years that has extreme trauma from her life before me, you cant do the work for them. she would always say, "im passed all of that" but i would notice so many things that would tap into her past trauma. alcohol would really pull it out of her in a way i felt i couldnt be around her. she would use it to cope with it all but hide the fact she was abusing it. over time i found bottles and cans hidden places and eventually got tired of dealing with it. it was affecting everything she did on a daily basis whether it was handing her money to just doing daily chores. she would get very emotional if i even brought up that she needed help with it. saw a therapist but she would withold things from the therapist which would cause more harm. to me the only way to get passed trauma, you really have to tackle it and other people cant do that for you.

I was traveling through Canada and came back to the US and discovered I loved the craziness of the US. It's crass, wrong-headed a lot of the time, and disorderly, but boy is it creative. As much as the conservatives complain about the public schools and universities, there have been two centuries of innovation because of them. Maybe the trauma I experienced made for better art. Thanks for this. He was a therapist for an old girlfriend and she did well after her work with him and got her life together.

Incredible Bessel! The senses! That’s the key!!!

Bessell Van der Kolk is AMAZING! I read his book and just ripped thru it! It was written for the layman and it’s got so many great suggestions to get you through rough times. I absolutely recommend to anyone, even if you don’t have any issues, it will give you tools when they eventually do show up in your life. ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

VERY good conversation! Thanks!

Wow ! You just said it about the nurses giving what they didn’t have in childhood but often can’t receive it for themselves..

It’s a super intricate field! I’m having a traumatic experience with my girl now, based on things that happened in childhood, around abandonment from my mother. And when I see something in the environment that looks like she is looking elsewhere, and mixed with lack of touch… my mind starts creating worst case scenario… The vulnerability in being able to be honest and vulnerable with Another / partner. Perhaps these bonds of trust can be brought back stronger. But touch is a key component.

thanks Chris, ty prof. this one was great

27:45 defective 28:10 psychedelic 28:45 psychedelic & MDMA 29:14 Inner child 29:23 Psychedelic help you believe 29:50 29:58 30:05 Psychedelic and breathing work 30:31 30:35 Digital static Negative effects

I agree, frozen. Frozen in a higher stress point. Ability of the body to release or relax beyond a limited point Social reseption makes a huge difference - why AA works

Thank you for covering this

27:45 MDMA TREATMENT THERAPY psychedelics used to increase self compassion. Self criticism is extremely difficult to treat

Wow😮 feel what you feel ✋. Just what I'm doing most of the times I told I'm feeling good chef, I'm feeling good mom etc etc 😊. We need more conscious society 👍

I’m new to what trauma does to the nervous system, and I have known about this man and his book. Time to get the book! I’m also new to this channel and a new subscriber! HOW could I have missed this channel?! My adult son is in desperate need of this content, and he’s had debilitating headaches for years, but more intensely after mold, Lyme, and Covid. He’s suicidal because of the pain, but he’s also an addict, so no one will prescribe him pain meds. Ketamine nasals didn’t help. Way more to this, but I’ll leave it at that.

Therapist here! I love his work , and I am a body therapist, so I get what he means!

Thank you Chris! I'm reading this book atm. Look forward to your visit to 🇦🇺

4:47 we are social creatures... our behavior navigating our untreated trauma jeopardizes our relationships... our social connections break down.😞

I have a fibromyalgia diagnosis in the last year but has been with me most of my life. I feel this is a response to my life's events. When I can regulate, the symptoms reduce.

Greatest guest yet

comment for the algorithm. keep up the good work Chris.

Thank You and Finally.

Chris, you are doing great. Keep it up!

Amazing guest and Chris is a great interviewer..you asked so many qs I would have wanted answered

Thanks ❤ always grateful for your channel

Good question Chris!

Thank you.

YES! Now link these lessons to your recurrent back pain Chris… it’s not because of your discs. Disc degeneration and even herniating are very normal in people without any pain. Please keep exploring these ideas. I would also recommend reading some John Sarno books. I say this as a physical therapist who specializes in chronic pain.

Therapy is so fantastic. It helps you to change. Normal is just a setting in your dryer. I recall and Friend telling me “You always have a Choice” I had No idea What That meant! I really didn’t! But now I know.

I REALLY want to know the results of the doctor's study on touch!

27:10 “Self-compation comes from having been met and having been seen and that becomes your framework”

Thank you❤

I am a ROLFER. This modality is amazing.

Thank you!!🎉🎉🎉

I want to thank you for giving me permission to specifically state the totally ridiculous nature of power being attributed to me. I am an individual with strong opinions, sensitive to human suffering, but unwilling to believe what responsibility might be being placed upon me by those who see me as being different.

Bessel is great! The questions aren‘t

Awesome. Very much in line with the teachings of Eugene Gendlin and John Prendergast for instance.

That makes a lot of sense.

I have read some of the books by Alice Miller, such as The Drama of the Gifted Child (1979). Similar themes and concepts. Excellent stuff.