I really hope that Dr. Carter knows how much he means to a lot of people around the world. 🌷

He scared me. He didn’t hurt me physically but when he turned into that other person - with all his demeaning, bullying, uncaring temper tantrums & silent treatments - I would feel alone with a complete stranger in the house. It was scary! Now I know he was just a spineless, cowardly blowhard. Dr. C saved me. I am forever grateful for his insight on these creatures.

Two people in one body - but not a single heart between them...

I wish they taught this in grade school, but a lot of parents would be in trouble.

ADULT TODDLERS! Recently read somewhere: “To the narcissist, REALITY is aggression.” This has held true in all my memories of interacting with those on the spectrum; they enter their defensive mode instantly. It’s not my job to fix them. 🤷🏻‍♀️

They're committed to winning, and do whatever it takes to get what they want, and certainly no apologies, or accountability.

Narcissist: “I already have it figured out…you’re an idiot.” Good one Dr. C 😂

For years I thought my CovNarc had at least two personalities. I never knew which one was in my presence. To fully combat my issue, I removed myself so not to encounter either. I’m lonely now but life is better. I’ve followed the Great Dr. C now for years and his valuable insight helped me get to this point.

I've always felt like my nmom was a child in an adult's body. But even when I could see through some of her behaviors, they still ended up affecting me and causing me to doubt myself regardless. Thank you for bringing me back to reality. This is how pathetic they really are. No one who's as stable as they pretend to be would behave the way they do.

It's hilarious how alike these people are. My malignantly narcissistic cousin is 66 going on 6.

I just got a text from my ex, and it almost made me sad. Then I listened to this. And I reread that text. And I realized it didn’t say what I thought it did. It almost sounded sensitive and insightful, but that was what I wanted to see. It really was just words that said nothing at all, nothing of any real substance. It was empty. It was him pretending to be a a sensitive, insightful adult - the pretender adult. Thank you for this very timely message. I am back to reality now.

PRETENDER ADULT!!! ...trying to think of a better term... and there is none! It's just THAT, period! Great video! TY!

Dr. C., Though you have completely described the inner thought process of the narcissists, they are still nevertheless rendered EXTREMELY DANGEROUS & TREACHEROUS toward their targets. Destroying their victims literal lives appears to be their path of least resistance. Mind blowing. God help us.

Excellent video! The more we know about these troubled individuals, the more strategic we can act around them. For example, I know now not to try and change the narcissist or try to make them into a better person. Not gonna happen. They are not growth-minded individuals. They want to keep their minds firmly rooted in their alternate reality where they reign supreme. They also have no interest in equal partnerships. They must subjugate and conquer.

Thank you once again Dr. Carter! How exhausted the narcissist must be as they live this way. I do have sympathy for them, however I can't show it to them, or they'll eat me alive.

exactly! I've worked with children all my life & when you confront a narc. you see that momentary look of confusion & shame, only to be replaced with defiant defensiveness. Almost angry at you for making them feel that way.

Unfortunately all the narcissists in my life have been/are in positions of power over me. And I think that's part of the narcissist's game - being in power!

Such a gentle and accurate perspective here, to view as a small, confused child and misguided, pretender adult. Finding I am less & less likely to address someone else’s behavior yet I continue to find strategies to protect myself from harm. Progress here is exceedingly slow and could never have begun without many, many hours of instruction from Dr Carter and other professionals who make this information available to the public .

My wife was emotionally abused as a child. I believe that caused her to be a passive aggressive narcissist. I think she is very insecure but puts up a brave face. I feel hurt by her words and actions but have come to feel sorry for her too.

Once they've accumulated a list of unforgivable offenses in the real world, how is he supposed to be convinced to accept himself? He's made himself unacceptable.

TRUTH!!! A sad life of confusion!!! My son!! They deflect their issues on you! Dont accept! Move on and be healthy!!

Trying to understand the narcissist will not lead you to peace, especially if you are on the receiving end of their conflict and confusion. They offload all of their issues and need for perfection and expectations of perfection and "acceptability" on the person that is their scapegoat and whipping post. My sister and I grew up in the same household. I feel for her tremendously and can empathize, but instead of her dealing with what we both suffered, my sister is committed to carry on the tradition that my parents started, that she's the good daughter, and I am the bad daughter. I have abdicated this very limited role of abuse. I am doing everything possible to be at peace with this abusive and controlling past. I do NOT want to be a bitter, vindictive, hateful person that constantly feels what my sister feels toward me. I love my sister. Nothing is going to change my love for her. I do not feel like or want to treat her like she's treated me. I do not expect empathy or openness from my sister. She can only do that on a superficial and perfunctory level. The show she's put on and her "brand" or facade is as confusing and conflicted as she is. When I am banished, her flying monkey husband becomes her whipping post and scapegoat as soon as she is stressed. Being banished is a blessing in disguise, especially this time around. Sad that it's taken me this long to find peace and be able to finally be objective. Sad that I had to realize that I was not the bad daughter and I needed to stop assuming that role on any level because nothing appeases narcissists. One cannot be at peace in life if they feel vindictive, hateful and bitter toward narcissists but in order to genuinely free yourself from a narcissist's control and abuse, you have to free yourself and stop making excuses for why you cannot remove yourself and get a better objective view through self-examination and the examination of the dynamics created with narcissists and those in relation to both the narcissist and self. You have to be able to be alone with your own thoughts and without a lot of subjective thinking but more objective thinking and facing the truth and the part you play. What role do you want to play? If that role makes things worse for others and self, you may have to reassess and try what works for peace and well-being. I find alone time, reflection and reading the Bible bring me a lot of peace. Everyone needs to find what brings them peace. Do not seek your peace in other people. Find and make that peace in yourself. I have found my peace and strength through God who strengthens me in all circumstances.

We all are narcissists. Narcissism is a spectrum. But those who we call narcissists had more traumas than us. They want to be set free but don't know how. They're having such a struggle bc of two personalities they have in. Great insight. Deep work they have to do to be free from those entanglements.

This describes my mother perfectly. I’ve tried to let her know it is safe to bring her guard down around me, her only child, to help salvage what little is left of the relationship we once had, but she refuses, deflects, and refuses to take accountability . The part about leaving these people in the dust truly resonated with me as I prepare to go no-contact for at least the next 12 months. Thank you Dr. 💜

Having to comb through the inevitable problems of irresponsible behavior by the narcissist, and then listening to a rant on how responsible they are...

When he pulls that "deeply thoughtful" face...like he's pretending to consider what you say....aaaaargh!!!!

My wife is a pretender adult. She identifies as alot of things she isn't, but one of them is being the most awesome mother. As a parent, it is your responsibility to raise your children to go out in the world on thier own and create thier own lives, not stay at home and be coddled well into thier 30s and beyond. Not to mention, she has two other sons who have broken away from her and hate her for her controlling and manipulative ways. She has to keep her adult children (not my children) in our home out of fear of loss. During the love bombing stage of our relationship, I expressed my concern for her adult child still at age 28 still living at home and she reassured me that she was working with him to get him out on his own. Fast forward now four years and she unilaterally decided that the kid would "leave when he was ready'". During the devaluing stage, she would tell me that I am the only person that has a problem with her adult son still living at home and not contributing. Testing that theory, I would talk to just about anyone who would listen, explaining the situation, and NOONE thought it was even remotely reasonable that the kid was still at home and not contributing. When I disagreed with this decision, she would go ultra-defensive on behalf of her kid, but could never justify why he was still there, only stating that 'things have changed". Ultimately, her fear of losing her child (to the world at large), she pushed her husband away with her lack of empathy and silent treatment punishment. i fought tooth and nail to try to get her to compromise on the issue, but in the end the only way she could get me to shut up about it was to get a PFA against me and have me ejected from the home along with a one year no contact order. Discard complete.

My problem is feeling so very bad for the Narcissist bc of their struggle and bc they had a confusing childhood. This makes me feel like they can’t help the way they are and how they treat others.

Some of them are also full blown multiples with severe imprinting trauma of a sadistic nature. I am terrified of them because so many were in my life. They are frightening. Some have textbook language use. Its like a script. Its all projection. Thats why the personality is in conflict. Inner child yes but they are entitled to use devour and even murder you. Sorry to be overboard but ive heard them use that language in secret. ... Thanks for your sharing/teaching.

Two people inside the narcissist, huh? Well, they can both kick rocks🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I had another interaction with a narcissist this am...as he responded in his usual blaming/ blow up and during it I literally could imagine Dr. Les saying, And here is perfect example demonstrating everything I have been talking about. LOL

This SPEAKS VOLUMES to me as I walk thru this painful but EVER SO FREEING divorce process from a 14 yr marriage to a Malignant narc. THANK YOU DR CARTER for sharing Your God given gifts to the broken world. THIS VICTORY BELONGS TO ME!!

All I can say is “Wow”! This is the best description I have ever heard of the narcissist in my life. I ve said I’m dealing with a child inside an adult body. This just validates the damage I suspected was inflicted upon the narcissist and his seven siblings. This explains it so well, thank you for validating my feelings. I will continue to be myself, for many years my spirit was broken, I thought it was me who deserved the criticism, verbal abuse and lack of respect from my partner. However, with therapy and videos like yours I have found my voice and will never again subject myself to being mistreated. I will do it with dignity, assertiveness and pride because I am a healthy individual, not damaged goods like him (my husband). Thank you so much.

When I growing up and even into adulthood, I always felt like I was on the outside of my family of origin, looking in. I never felt accepted as part of the family. Then 10 yrs ago I went under hypnosis to help me connect better with my higher self. What I found out was I suffered from a broken heart (yes, just like in a good Country sob song). I had a long cleansing cry, then decided to pull up my boot straps, kick their butts to the curb, & start being kinder to myself. Oh, the antics they have come up with trying to get me to respond. Nothing they do surprises me anymore. Sad, indeed!

I recently quit my job of nearly 10yrs. Before quitting, I informed the top brass, I would likely be leaving because my superior was a "big giant man baby, who doesn't like to be told what to do", not to mention a disregulated rage monster, whose disproportionate responses to reasonable requests, range from indignant to the verge of assault! When he was called out by the top brass for being "intimidating", he seemed to be almost proud of it.

It seems to me that Narcissists are bi-polar and have a hard time making decisions.

Is disrespect an example of projection? Is a narcissist's blatant disrespectful behavior a manifestation of a lack of self-respect?

love is stronger than evil evil is unlimited, love is 1 evil is stupid narcs are loosers they can't love

Dr. Carter...Between my narcissist sister and brother (two years apart in their 70's) and me....65, they still talk to me and think of me as that bothersome and ignorant little sister of their youth that desperately wanted to be like them...or play with them...or talk to them. I listened to your list of questions we might have asked ourselves as a child...and I could relate to much of it...loneliness was up there (we were military and often lived in foreign places with no American neighbors)...but the one you did not mention that probably was the top of my list was "sadness". Sadness that they did not seem to want to accept me as their sister. After they left home and married young, I married after college and had a relatively happy life with only seeing them occasionally. Our father died 18 years ago, and when my mother began markedly declining at the age of 90...I naturally just gradually started helping her as she needed it. As it turned out, my brother and I lived with her for different reasons. He divorced and even with a successful Master's degree, he refused to seek employment and contribute to his expenses. I had s life-altering medical problem that put me on disability and I had to go through a long rehab. Regardless...he did nothing to help my mother as she aged...he became a recluse, but had total control over my mother...gaslighting her at every turn. In 2015 he had been living with her for 10 years and had no plans to move out...even living in the master bedroom with his own private bath. As my mother slowly declined, she wanted desperately to sell her house which was impossible with him there. This was the pivotal moment where her life was thrown into a nightmare by my brother and sister. Due to the condition of my brother's living space, she had no control over getting her house ready to sell as the master bath and his room was filthy and disgraceful. She and I talked about getting an apartment with two bedrooms and telling him he had to relocate. He just dug his heels in and garnered the support of my sister who lived 600 miles away. (I'm so sorry...so many details here....and many more I must leave out.) Neither needed her money (modest estate) to live, but they declared I had hired an attorney that I colluded with to steal her estate holdings. I was not even interested in discussing her estate, just getting her in a safe and comfortable place so she could downsize and live out her life in peace. She may have had mild dementia and knew it, but she did not have the ravages of Alzheimer's. Their answer to her decision was to sue her and have her declared in court to be incapacitated! God bless my mother for what she went through for eight long months with this burden on her by them. She loved all of us, but she completely understood what they were doing and was broken-hearted by their actions. My sister was involved remotely, but my brother continued to gaslight my mother because the court had ordered her to schedule private visits with him and she had no recourse. To me, he had been abusive physically and mentally for six years. This truly would take pages to explain, and I am already way over my limit. The short end of it was that they both gaslighted the attorneys involved, including an already corrupt judge, and he ruled that my mother was to be returned to the home she did not want to go back to and make my sister her guardian without condition. My mother refused to go and the judge ordered the police to remove me from the premises and allow my sister and brother to pick her up and take her away. The saddest part was my mother was so distraught that she curled up and died just three weeks after being returned and living with them. I never saw her again after the day the police allowed them to drag her from our new home while she was reaching for me and crying for help. Since last Thanksgiving, my sister drove to the house with a moving van and emptied the entire house of everything except the bare minimum my brother needs there to live until the courts can sort out the estate and the house is free to sell...now becoming in disrepair. The two of them are classic narcissists, however, their behavior to such extreme measures indicates more psychopathy than fits in that one category. Whatever it is, I have almost had several nervous breakdowns and suffer from severe depression for what they did to my mother and our whole family. It has even affected my own family and adult children's lives because of their treatment of them as well. I have been in counseling for years and intense counseling the last six years. So sadness is the core of my life. Sadness for the loss of my mother...and father, sadness for how she suffered, sadness that I seem to be the key of everything that took place no matter what my mother's wishes. I never truly understood sadness until this ungodly behavior of my two siblings who were/are willing to portray me as the villain in all of the transgressions. No counselor can help me, or where to begin. No attorney is willing to help me. I only have myself, and in spite of everything I read or listen to, I don't take much solace in being worthy of helping make any of this better. My sister made sure of that by quoting to a reporter implying that I was abusive to my mother. Even the dishonorable and unprincipled judge unethically quoted in the same article that I was colluding with my attorney to steal my mother's belongings! I am convinced that he is also a flagship member of the narcissistic fraternity. If anyone has read this far, I am grateful that you cared enough to see the utterly devastating damage that a narcissist can do to others...especially to someone with no support or resources to keep their sanity. As far as leaving them in the dust, I look forward to that, but at present, I am handcuffed to them as long as my mother's estate is still in flux. The key to their dark success is the very gifted and talented way of lying. It absolutely boggles my mind...what's left of it. Thank you to those of you with compassionate souls. I pray each day for answers...and for others who may also share my same shoe size. God bless.

Acceptance of what will not change is so freeing, albeit disappointing, but based in TRUTH! DRC always! Have a beautiful week! Thanks as always, Dr. C 🙏🏼

What is fascinating is that they call their anti-love Love (lies).. which according to us.. is based on truth. To them truth is hate , wicked and judgemental.

I am like this. I have the child and I have the protector adult. Thank you. I have been trying to figure out what is wrong with me for years. Recently I discovered that at least my father is narcissistic and that I am the same way. I’ve been trying to overcome it. I was the golden child, and ended up copying those behaviors. I’ve been sitting down thinking about how I can recover all day. Thank god this info is out on the internet or I would have become a cold hearted monster for the rest of my life and continued the cycle.

"Videos such as this" 🙂 are immensely valuable in helping me understand and make sense of my experience, and detaching further from the abuse. I struggle though, like someone else mentioned, to imagine having a relationship again after this. It doesn't bother me, because a quiet life is no doubt preferable to the roller-coaster of fakeness, but I sometimes wonder whether and how this can be overcome.

The more i know, the sadder i get... For him.

For myself I'm not entirely convinced it's an entirely a matter of nurture - I think if narcissist were made entirely by nurture then when they grew up and encountered fragmentary pieces of care, support and love in the general world (and it is there, spread around) they would start to take that in and change to some degree. And from various accounts some genuinely loving people have had some really difficult childhoods, while some really difficult people have had some very loving parents in their childhood. It is tragic that there's a little, very naive kid in there who wants even just the basics of care but can't get it for how this 'protective' false adult in them jumps in the way and tries to be in absolute control. Not everyone abuses vulnerability, even if the narcissist seeks to do so every time.

You are a gift Dr. Carter. I was married to a narc a total of almost 26 years (the discard took place at year 23). It has been one heck of a journey towards understanding what I was struggling against. To think that I spent a total of almost 29 years trying to get such a person to trust that I was not “out to get him” but simply trying to live and build a life with him. We came from two very different backgrounds and my younger self felt I could love him to a place of trust and peace. I completely wore myself OUT trying to do so. It makes me sad what I was reduced to in the end but I now count it as a bullet dodged that we are no longer together. His life continues to be one of chaos, deceit and drama (from what I witnessed during the divorce proceedings) and I never wanted any such state for MY part. I am now working on restoring my personal sense of peace and order and doing a VERY deep dive on how in the HELL I ended up with such a person. All of us who have really need to stop and figure OURSELVES out. I don’t know about anyone else, but, as I reflect, I know I saw red flags everywhere, I just chose to disregard them and hitch my life to my ex. I don’t totally regret it because I got some fantastic kids out of it, but I truly dislike having to say that I am now a divorced person. So much work and love and care poured out. . . to have it end there? Sad. Had he been willing to get help, I would have seen it to the grave. But a narc never wants to work on much of anything. It’s ultimately a dead end. It really is important to understand what a narcissist is and how they operate because they will destroy your life if you don’t catch it before it takes root. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE . . . Gain understanding.🙏🏽🙏🏽

My covert narc mother will say in her rages and meltdowns that she hears voices in her head. Never says who they are. Just figure they are demons!

Children wearing their parents clothes unfettered by selflessness.

I have an extremely narcissist sister who has made my life a living hell, even though no contact is the way I had to go for my own mental health. At one stage I tried to talk to her about our issues and got shut down, gaslighted. Jealousy is her motivation for her narcissism, empathy is weakness for her. My growing empathy made me stronger and able cut her off with a full understanding of why I was doing it. I'm still a work in progress in my healing. I still don't know how to cope being in the same room.

I think that deeply inside, they are convinced that everyone is doing the exact same thing as them. So they just attack first and believe they figured out the game and are winning. It is really sad, they are very unhappy people.

Enlightening and sad to realize that your narcissistic middle-aged spouse is slightly behind your middle-schooler in emotional maturity.

Ugh!!! I am a supervisor and work with a couple narcs/passive aggressive people. They always want to blame me or other team members for what goes on with our team, and never want to be accountable for their own actions. It's so frustrating!!! Esp. when we have like 4-5 people on our team like this!!! I hate doing their performance evaluations cause all they do is complain and disagree with me because they think they should have a perfect score. We can't grow as a team with so many people gossiping, complaining, and sabotaging things.

My ex husband’s voice tone would actually change to sound more like a child sometimes during conversations. I even pointed it out to him and he denied it. It was usually when I was holding him accountable for something, no matter how minor. During one argument, he even said to me “you wouldn’t say that to a child” and went on about how that would make a child feel. I was very confused.

So right with this one! Sometimes she said the most confusing things...I wasn't aware of narcissism at the time and didn't have a clue what was in her mind. She really was two people...charming and seemingly caring...angry and critical at other times. And me...just trying to make sense of it. And still would be if it wasn't for these videos.

When I ask my some of my family to say sorry for verbal abuse, theft, etc., they tell me I'm a victim and no they will not. I am the scapegoat. There is no introspection on their part, but it's all I do. I think I abuse myself constantly criticizing myself. I find myself in despair alot over a vacant hearted group of people who tell me I am mental because I cut them off for abusing me. It's quite vicious of them. Hard to deal with.

Precisely. This describes my experience with a narcissist. I now see them infrequently and my frustrations with them has become pity. I must work hard to ensure my kids don’t fall victim to her illness. Thank you Dr. C, for your excellent videos, you have taught me so much and I am empowered.

This really helpt me understand about my narcissistic ex and his behavior, I also know about his childhood and I can now see how his upbringing as a child made him to that confused child and how he understood that he could get whatever he want through out calling other, yell loud to control everything around him and make everything always about himself and find others insecurities to make them feel bad about themselves and make somebody else the problem.🙏🏻

In my opinion they hate is base on shame created by their sick parents and they want to take revenge on every body that cross their path, they do it because the obsession that they have for the abuser parent makes them take revenge on the people that doesn't have any guilt about their past situation.

The book "The Butter Battle" by Dr. Seuss illustrates this battle perfectly!

As a child, in a narcissistic family (mostly, it was actually my older siblings, who were abusive). And, if I did something wrong or incorrectly, etc, then I'd become very scared to admit it, because I was one of the scapegoats (my younger brother was the other scapegoat), always being lied about, by our older siblings, to our parents. So, I'd be in much bigger trouble, if my mom/other adults found out whatever it was that I'd done wrong. However, if I ever had the courage to speak up, on my own, and admit that I'd done something I was not supposed to do, then I'd get into even bigger trouble. As an adult, it truly is one of the biggest challenges I have, to admit when I've done something wrong, and/or admit my faults & etc; because, the narcissists in my midst would inevitably punish me, however they want to. I'm healing though, after learning about narcissism & narcissistic abuse, and that this abuse & patterns of behavior has a name, and I feel heard & seen. It's bad enough that we internally blame ourselves for everything; but it's worse when the narcissists do it & project all their insecurity, faults & misdeeds onto us, and they get their flying monkeys to do it, too. I believe that we need to start teaching kids about narcissistic abuse, from grade school, in age-appropriate ways, of course.

11:08 Got a LAUGH out of the Narcissist Pretender Adult - "Ah, I don't need all that stuff, I already have it figured out ... and your and Idiot !" Haha Isn't t hat the truth. Dr. C you did that too well. 🤣🙃

I am so torn i don't know if I am grieving or should be full of hate for having my life wasted!

After leaving two narcissistic parents and a relationship w/ a (former) partner w/ NPD, I just can’t help but think I would have done it sooner if I had encountered these resources - and your guidance - earlier. No regret, just a reflection. You are a godsend, good sir.

So glad this information is being brought out. I was always confused about not knowing who (which personality) was walking through the door. This was my Father, followed by 2 Husband's with the same issue. I didn't know any better. Al-Anon and GOD brought me through with a sound mind.

Bless your heart I love you for your insight and wisdom. You are helping me immensely as one who has lived my whole life with narcissists and was totally confused by the behaviors. I love team healthy. God Bless

You've just described my ex-husband down to a tee. And when I think about his parents I'm not surprised. His father extremely grandiose narcissistic traits and his mother extremely passive-aggressive, haughty and emotionally unavailable. But regardless, I'm not going to feel sorry for him as horrible as that sounds because the way he treated me with his psychological abuse was devastating to my mental health. I can now accept and acknowledge why he was like this towards me but I also know I tried to give him a safe place to find true and intimate friendship and genuine trust. I spent years being blamed, shamed and guilt-tripped - now I realise it was full of projection towards me for his own lack of self-reflection, insight, fear of being a failure and devoid of deep emotional connection........because he wasn't taught that it's ok to be vulnerable and open with a safety net of truly caring, emotionally informed people. There's just too much emphasis these days on how to appear on the outside - thick-skinned, devaluing, discarding, physically attractive and kudos based on wealth, superiority and position. Thankfully with old age we become thin-skinned and able to find the confidence from our experiences to let our wisdom seep out!!! Thank you Dr Carter and best wishes.

OMG…dat explains why my ex narcissist wore so many mask. She would mimic people personalities to adapt to her surroundings.

I have had doctors and psychologists and psychiatrists that were covert Narcissists and worked with my family to cover up abuse.

Thank you so much for this. This explains so much. And confirms much of what I suspected with my narc. It's sad. That's the problem with being an optimist. You hope they will grow and change. But it took me over 20 years and vids such as yours and others, to hellp me see that it's time to stop beating a dead horse and let it go, and work on getting myself healthy. I've been binging your vids and they have been so helpful. Thanks for all you do for so many of us going through this!

I think the empathic person draws to well too them. Maybe cause they can see they’re pain or faults and wishes for them to be they’re best self.

There is a person that I'd like to know, and these very things that you (Dr. C.) mention are what keeps me at a great distance from them. Thank you for teaching me how to practice mental self care.

Mother in laws boyfriend started a fire in his garage and burned his house down. I was told right away not to talk about around town. He didn't want people to know that he made a mistake. LOL

The Nobel Peace Prize is awarded to the person who has ''done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses.

Be thankful we do not have this battle going on to such a degree that we MUST punish those amongst us. And then try to meet new people to punish. Very far gone down the road...usually do not put any effort and recover themselves! Thank you Dr. Carter!

May God continue to bless you, Dr.Carter!

Ugh!!! Confused anger….💔

They really are pathologically sick

There is definitely a child, me, inside of myself. The adult me doesn't always feel like a grown person.

Terrible when you're able to see it, leaving no choice but to walk away. DRC

Looking forward to learning more, DrC. If i had to guess… because i have definitely figured out i have no idea what’s really going on inside the narcissists I’ve dealt with… but if i had to guess it would be the self they absolutely abhor and the more likable version of self they imagine who towers above lowlifes who are “just normal.”

Thank you for continuing your channel despite your retirement! Never gonna please everyone; be authentic. Reality is an aggressor towards their fantasy life. Fake image of strenght or pity play. Whatever they do or say speaks volumes about them. Rigidity often seen in personality disorders- it doesn't work for every situation but they don't know that or want to put the work in.

Mine could mimic that healthy adult style, sometimes for quite a while, up until the minute he was triggered. Snap. Back to revenge.

I ;married an adult who, like me, was successful in his career. We enjoyed our courtship, our wedding day...and then I found Mr. Hyde enroute to our honeymoon. Sometimes he was a business man, a talented builder, a wizard of history and then sometimes, he turned into a 5 year old child who was so vulnerable and, in a rare moment, finally told a truth, whereas he was usually a liar. It was so confusing. He became progressively abusive, verbally, emotionally, and finally, physically. It was the most destructive thing I have ever done in my life to not see who he really was. I left him when he finally crossed the line to being dangerous. I stayed too long.

Wow! So helpful. And it is sad when we finally see it for what it is. I had hoped he would change and grow but i see now it’s just a cycle. I have to end it so that I can be healthy.

it's nice to see you have fun when talking about these kind of things, it's not what i came here for but it's thing that keeps me coming back. "if i make a mistake, get ready for battle because i'd rather get bruised and bloody than ask for help"

First they comitted character assassination with me, and then they told me I was wrong what ever I did. My sibling was the golden child. He was great.

Dr Carter , just listing to your videos gives me so much strength and peace at the same time . Just to know that I am not alone in this journey . These are really troubled and sick individuals. It has taken me a long time to understand that this is not on me. No matter how hard the narcissist tries to blame shift everything on me, I can now see right though his tormented mind. Thank you for everything you do and for all the “Kind” souls you have saved.

Makes sense my father came from a very confused childhood in which he was the child and the adult. Now I understand why he was so broken and so needed my mother

What a mess.

This is a sad reality. 💔

If you have two parents like this unfortunately, I just don't feel strong enough to heal. I have struggled trying to get over my ex narc for 7 years. We have been separated for 7 years and you would think it would be easy. But...he comes back for a short dance that feels like a tease then he takes off suddenly angry and giving another silent treatment. I think if a person has atleast ONE healthy parent that was there or grandparents, aunts, or uncles or whatever to go to if there is bad news then they might have a better chance. Every child NEEDS atleast ONE stable adult to go to. I I think I am just screwed psychologically and am so used to both of my parents inflicting such pain and had noone or nowhere to go to that I am just broken. When all you know growing up is pain, it starts to feel like a addiction.

My parents NEVER cared what we thought or felt at any time in our lives Especially as children.

Congratulations on your 777K subscribers Dr. Carter, on all your success & amazing hard work & I hope you have a great celebration with your family, your brother & Gus!! Thank you for healing & educating the masses!! God bless you all.

Thank you precious Holy Spirit for letting this video for crossing my path. It is DEFINITELY something that I need to see and hear for myself during this tough time in my life. I pray that He give me the strength, wisdom, knowledge, and understanding that I need in order to relay this message to my mother in the mighty name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Prayerfully this will be the last time that I have to convey this message to her. And I pray that she accept it for herself in the mighty name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Because IF she do, it can play a MAJOR role that she need for the healing that she need to have a blessed, prosperous, joyful, and meaningful life that the LORD intend her to have and ALWAYS have a long time ago in the mighty name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen.

I'm feel so alone this is my mam all over I'm crying so hard night now

Sounds like they were bullied themselves and they decided I’m not going to bullied or bossed around by my parents or peers and I’m going to fight back and stick-up (defend) for myself, by any means…..I’m a somebody- not a nobody….I’m not a pushover.

The most profund description about the theme! In fact, it”s the persistence of a child, already an inconsistent child, in the the adult. Worse, the brain uses mechanisms of the racional part, learned behaviors, that make it more insidious, dangerous, etc…

Good Evening Everyone

Thank you for another supportive message dr Carter. I love your calming voice and the soothing effect it has on me.

It's like he knows the narcissist in my life.