For me this sounds as important as unlocking the secrets of the universe!

I am self-diagnosed on the Spectrum at age 80 and happy to report that over time I have figured out every one of these strategies that you have so brilliantly described but now I have a better understanding of why I do the things that I do so thanks

For me, part of it is just daily maintenance to make sure things don't get overwhelmingly large. Doing 5-10 minutes of filing at the end of a workday prevents piles from getting super-big, and usually 5-10 minutes is enough to get through a full day's worth of stuff. Another thing I've realized is that sometimes when I'm stressed about all the things I need to do or am procrastinating on a particular project, I'm actually overwhelmed. And in those cases, I ask myself the question "what's the smallest next thing I can do to move this forward?" Sometimes it's just opening an email, bringing a dish to the sink, getting up out of my chair, etc. And once I've done that tiny small thing, it gives me the momentum to do the NEXT tiny small thing. (Read the first sentence of the email, rinsing off the dish, putting on my shoes, etc.)

As a bottom up thinker, I find it very difficult to shift into a top-down mentality. There's also a looming fear of missing something important

I'm trying to do this more, but part of the issue is that I can't just spot at a glance the most important thing. If I have a doom pile of papers, I have to look at every single paper in order to know what it is. Also, I suck at prioritization. I can look at something and simply be unable to judge whether it's important. Everything feels important to me. I don't know how to cull, because everything feels important. It's why I write too much. It's why I hoard crap. It's why I can't organize my time and energy. My impulse is to do everything on my list. And if I can't do everything, I get overwhelmed, shut down, and do nothing. Because I can't decide which of the tasks are more important than the others.

Some good tips here. On calls from unknown numbers, I've started ignoring them too. If it's important enough they can either send a text or leave a voicemail. 90% of the time they do neither.

When sorting through piles or decluttering, someone on KZfaq said to ask yourself, “Can I live without this?” It was an epiphany which helped me clear out garage space for my new car. Zero sorting decisions involved. The same goes with cleaning out cabinets, pantries and closets: if expired, throw it out. No exceptions. Clothing that no longer fits, is considered expired.

Hello, this is exactly what I need today. I'm on leave due to burnout, and frightened to death about how I'm going to handle going back to work (and when). This is going to help, functionally as well as by helping me to describe these experiences and challenges with my coworkers. So thank you for the perfect timing🙏😊

Anytime I question my undiagnosed autism status I can just watch your videos and have you word for word explain the issues in my brain. 😂 It really is nice to hear that my issues are not singular to me, and I love the "Doom Piles" term.

Starting in my mid-late 40s I started being unable to rely on my memory for way too many things. Tthe first few times I forgot important things, I was angry and frustrated with myself. Fortunately, a friend showed me how to use the reminders on my cell-phone. I use them in conjunction with other tools to stay on top of things. One example is that I use a list on my phone for notes to myself when I'm away from home. But I have an alarm that goes off twice a week that prompts me to check the list! PS - Ahh, I didn't know I could access the recordings of past webinars. I will go take a look. Time zone constraints prevent me from participating in real time...

We have to make decisions constantly. What helped me, was to identify what's important in my life. Do i need to continue contacts because it is expected to me? Do i like this or that? Since selfdiagnosed with autism, i allowed myself to say "no" to many of this. That was a real relief. And to get along with all my stuff, i store them in categories, that makes it easier. 😊

Well... ACTUALLY, I was holding this video in my browser tabs because I was feeling it might contain some really helpful information... And I was right after all!! I should have watched it sooner, but luckily this time I didn't just closed the tab which I would have done in other cases, and I find out that's your actual advice 😂😂. Love it, great advice and information Paul!!

13:50 I recently went through a 1 foot high stack of envelopes of mail this way. It consisted of mostly junk mail from 2018 to 2021 somehow (it’s 2024 now). It took 3-4 hours. But I did find a hand-made card from my son to me that I love. The top down approach sounds really useful.

I'm struggling through a lot of that this week, too! Yesterday, I was overwhelmed to the point where I couldn't do anything at all. Today, I responded to an email I put off for a couple of weeks. People always have grace for me, even my close friends when I dont respond to their text messages for months. I don't know why I get this way. But thankful for days when I get some things taken care of. Thank you for the help, Paul. I was only a little stressed while listening and trying not to think of my mental list. 🤪

I decided to throw out things this morning and now it seems so easy since I only have 4 boxes to sort through and I only have to look for the one or two things I really want to keep. Thanks Paul, Rozlynn

Don’t ever stop Paul- you are so helpful- thanks friend

Great tips. Thank you. A friend of mine shared this hack: “let the container be the bad guy”. This means: only keep or do what you can fit in the space you have. It can be physical space, time-frame, energy or something else.

This just makes so much sense... my mind is actually blown, how did I not already do all these things!

Something I've learned from someone when it comes to a doom pile or a catastrophic mess in the kitchen is to just set a timer for 10 minutes and do whatever one can in that amount of time everyday and to strictly stop when that timer goes off. Just doing 10 minutes a day will get it done faster than freaking out about the need to do it for that entire time and ending up paralyzed so that one does nothing.

Great ideas! Thanks! I find that if it’s an unknown number and it’s important, they’ll leave a voicemail. If not, I don’t worry about it

I love this video so much, I think I need to rewatch it every day for a week until the solutions are integrated!

Can't watch now but will definitely come back to this!

Decide and schedule: when I have the spoons to make decisions, I make them. Then I just have to follow through at the scheduled time, which saves effort in the moment.

Yes. Executive function hack that has helped in the past AFTER I have done the most important thing of the day --I set a timer for a countdown of 30 minutes for the largest stack on my desk and I work solid to see how far I can get. I have trash and a save for now and a needs filed basket. On days when I have extra time and feel up to it I will spend 30 minutes on the needs filed basket.

But hey, I had this video on my huge ”watch later” list, and I actually got around to watching it! That’s a win!

Oh man! The Doom pile… The years of my life I’ve wasted due to this phenomenon. Thank you Paul for your work & super videos.🌟

Very useful video. Thank you. Your analogy of memory as being like a filing cabinet was a lightbulb moment for me as I realised what my equivalent is: tape loops, cassette collections, and recording studios - this is actually a useful realisation for me

I have a pile from decades ago. My ex-girlfriend asked me why I keep it. Because these days, I just throw my old notes away when I have gotten stuff done. Now I understand: the pile is a reminder that I do not need to make any piles anymore ;-)

9:20 taping a list to boxes helps deciding if you should actually put this item in your box

I check email at least twice a day and immediately delete things that I won't need. I also try and keep up with setting rules and have emails go into focused or other - other can basically all be deleted. Things I keep go into subfolders for different projects/aspects of life. There is no way I would just delete emails without reading them (unless it's obvious junk). Staying on top of email is a strength for me. I use my diary to remember everything about where and when I have appointments. There is no way I could hold that information in my head. Physical piles and boxes of stuff is an issue for me, I find all that decision-making difficult. I don't often know what is "baby" and what is "bath water" without a lot of consideration and time.

Thank you for this advice. I relate so much to what you mention! All the information is a heavy burden that takes a lot of my mental space, makes me anxious to carry everything in my mind for days and days. Letting go feel real good. Thanks a lot 🙏🏼

I’m recovering from burnout, and really want to avoid being in this spot as much as possible. So this is very timely. I’m not sure I’ll be able to apply it to my pictures, 😅but it’s a helpful reminder that letting unimportant things go is better than feeling stressed about it for months/years

Thank you SO MUCH Paul...carrying so much baggage can just really skew your thinking about...everything.

This is a very helpful video, I've already watched it three times and wil watch it again. I'm in the middle of a huge project of sorting my stuff, because I want to move to a senior appartment with far less room than my current house. Thank you, Paul. 👍🙂

There are a lot of eye opening points in this video. Thanks for these.

This is so me with the emails, work & personal ones. Such a nightmare, need to chose a date to delete from & clear my inbox & my mind 🤯

I NEVER answer the door unless I am expecting someone…and that is rare. I DO answer unknown phone calls, because one of my “hobbies” is messing with scammers’s heads.

Good advice. The work around for emails is to archive other ones.

I have an iPhone. In Settings you can program your phone to ring only if it's someone in your Contacts List. I did this because I was getting spam calls approximately every 15 minutes, and it was stressing me out. If it's something important, the caller can leave me a Voice Mail. Just be sure to not let your Voice Mail box become full by weekly deleting all the old messages. In the rare instances where I'm waiting for a call from the lab or my doctor, or I've decided not to wait on Hold and have a company call me back I can turn off this function. It's wonderful : )

Paul - your videos are soooooo important.

For me the trick is structure: the "emails hour" on a fixed day, fixed time in the calendar. Or for example take out my dog every day for a bigger walkie even when I'm dead tired. Not keeping structure would break the habit and habits are only cheap if you don't make decisions about them.

I have a deathly fear of not having anything to do, so I keep tons of unfinished things around me. I work constantly and get a lot done, but my life is stressful and I fret a lot about all the things that need to be done. I procrastinate over the most important things and focus on other things as a form of avoidance. I enjoy working on things to avoid other things. I alternate between things that need to be done, each getting its turn at being the fun thing and the avoid thing. Silly, I know, but I figure as long as I'm always getting things done, and I am usually working on what I "want" to, I'm ok. Forcing myself to work on the things that are most important is miserable work, but I do it as necessary. Eventually, everything on my to do list will become the fun thing I can throw myself into with gusto and I do very much enjoy completing tasks, except for the disappointment it is done and the brief fear of not having something to do until I tackle the next thing.

I think your previous analogy in your very first KZfaq video about memorizing information is the best strategy. It is like a recycling process of the mind. I think in this respect the way to recognize what to ignore is to find material conscious aspects typically represented by noun words to get rid of and unconscious non material aspects to keep. Of course we have to process this in line with our values and beliefs too.

I found this video very valuable. I have tried this kind of top-down approach when organizing home but not as radical.

i wouldn't be able to ignore my wondering thoughts from having had ignored someone knocking at door ,which helps me save time in the long run knowing the reason for that individual to knock. i have autism but also am highly curios person ,so for her if she doesn't have those kind of thoughts then it makes sense for her situation to ignore. thx for the tips btw.

1:09 you undestimate my ability to procrastinate!

Omg, this video is literally me. With the boxes and old papers. I didn't know this was an autistic trait, I just thought I was lazy and messy, as my mother always told me.

I started using starred emails as noting current action items, then I can easily see new emails to be filtered for keep/toss.

I don't have doom piles! *Looks to the right at a pile of probably maybe important mail* *Turns around and sees a stack of todo lists* *Goes into office and sees stack of paperwork from a recent doctor visit, stack of important documents for something I need to do eventually, and my stack of notebooks I use to track info for work.* Oh.

So much good content from your videos I'm glad I discovered you. Learning so many things about how I operate

I do this kind of thing more and more instinctively in the last years since the lockdown. I left all social media, y never answer the door, neither the phone if I don't know the number. I have always the volume off and not disturb mode on, and sometimes I even block notifications of things like WhatsApp so they don't disturb me. I also always give the phone number and email of my partner or mother when it's something important. Since I don't want the stress of having to be checking all the time to see if I'm called or emailed. I know this last point makes me lose independence, but for the moment I have enough to deal with and I prefer it that way.

This is super helpful for me. Thank you.

Thanks Paul for helping out making life a little bit better

Really interesting and insightful video. I apply some of what you said myself. But I learned some new stuff from your video.

Happy pride month everyone 🏳️‍🌈 For anyone that needs it you are loved, seen, and valid In your identity. Out of the closet or not. Be proud to be you!

My advise: do NOT delete emails. ‘We’ are often at a disadvantage when it comes to office politics and keeping emails has often helped me to prove that I did all I could to warn people about things that were going wrong way before they started accusing me of being the cause of the eventual failure.

Probably the most useful video of yours(or anyones*) I’ve seen… thank you very very much. *other than park tools bike fixing videos.

Just to illustrate that you also are under no obligation to answer your door, one time I was having some gastrointestinal issues and so I was stuck on the toilet when someone knocked forcefully. I could tell by the forcefulness of the knock that it was the police but I simply couldn't get off of the toilet so, when I finished, I even washed my hands because I figured I was entitled to do at least that as a human being, and then I went to the door. When I opened it, I saw the police walking away, so I quietly closed it and completely ignored them. The bottom line is that if it's someone you know, they'll text you. If it's something important from someone you don't know, they'll persist by either staying at the door or coming back later or using a loud speaker to tell everyone in the area something or even send their own phone notification these days. Obviously you know that you're home but some random person knocking on your door has no real idea whether you are home or not and you have every right not to be home and even to pretend not to be home if you are home. Life is too short to deal with all the completely unnecessary drama of having people invade your private space by knocking on your door all the time. This was super annoying when I had my own apartment in a poor neighborhood because so many people would come to the door when basically no one would knock at my mom's house in a middle class neighborhood. One of the most important things to me has been not to assume any additional duty that the outside world tries to impose upon me when I'm at home. If you don't shut that shit off, you'll simply just shut down even the things you want to do and have planned to do. No one has the right to take away your life like that!

For emails I just do it immediately. I look at my mail a couple of times a day and just delete stuff. If I need to respond, I respond immediately. I do have a To Do map, but that is for mails I need to get an answer from someone or ones that I don't want to delete right now, but are needed later (like a coupon when I go to a store)

Really important here..... My approach evolved over being online since the end of the 1970s, mostly in the 80s and early 90s. I noticed my email tool features a hierarchical tree feature. Messages can be sorted by many criteria into different branches of the tree structure. So I work with a pre-sorted list usually closely related to importance. I can then chew away at email one branch at a time rather efficiently. I context switch poorly. So this minimizes such context switching. (Yeah, sometimes that misfires. The world is like that.) In some folders I systematically read messages in the order received. I *never* go back to look at context the correspondent trimmed off. I skip the message. It takes too much time to go back to look for context and critical data hidden in it. And some lists I am on get a bulk delete if I do not see an interesting topic. That is an advantage of presorting the email. These days (80+ yo) that is most of my social interaction. No X. No Meta. No Twitch. No whatever it is you piddle with. They just don't work with me. Um, I also don't like "forums". Their for(u)m gets in the way of communications. {^_^} Troglodytes R us. Yeah, I really am a hermit.

Great information…thanks!

Excellent advice!

I've thrown away the whole box before but it wasn't easy. I've lost my own place and am now living in a very tiny single room and I've been forced to throw away so much stuff. Some stuff I've really missed but I have learned that life is a process of losing things because, at the end, one loses one's life even.

I love your videos so so much! Definitely gonna try this one

If I have a big life problem/stressor, I can’t sort information effectively or make good decisions in any other area of my life. I think it might be a monotropic thing? I can’t switch away from one big priority so focusing on the most important thing for that day means other really important stuff (as there’s more than one priority in life at a time - e.g. health and money) doesn’t get done and creates more problems. Don’t know how to get around this.

thank you. I just erased some thirrty more emails pending, waiting, from the past ten days. it is a small start, yet it is a start. 🙂

Unread starred emails from 10 years ago!!! Guilty. 😅 I'm totally going to address them. Along with all the emails I starred this year.....

Thank you!

This is funny, I haven't answer the mobile (unknown number) for years, and have set the mobile to filter most of those calls, so now even thought it shows me missed calls, it doesn't ring! My inbox is almost empty, I save a few emails in folders, but every few years I delete old emails from those folders. This is what you mean when you say we're all different I guess. Oh, and I also don't answer the door if I'm not expecting anyone. I've missed a parcel or two, but that's not the end of the world. For me is really more annoying to answer the door if I'm busy or having anxiety. Edit: I don't delete photos. I have tons of photos, and I don't care XD

My intercom (I live in a flat) is on silent and my smartphone is on 'do not disturb' and silent mode. I only switch on an alert when I'm expecting something important. At work I prioritise according to importance and energy levels. Like today, I still had some things to do, but I got a call just 2 minutes before a meeting I was going to and the call lasted 15 minutes. It doesn't happen often, but this client was a female high pitched rattler and had a serious problem. I passed on her question to a different department for a call-back since I can't look into this particular issue myself. A female high pitched rattler that is in a panic mode and won't stop, is very overwhelming to me. When I got to the meeting, I was too overwhelmed and tired to participate actively. After the meeting, I needed a longer break than usual and I've had to put off a few things. I'll try to do one of these things tomorrow before a course that lasts from 09:00 till 16:00 (with breaks and lunch provided so I don't need to bring that). That is just one thing that I think cannot wait till Thursday, when I'm probably still tired and it's an office day with meetings. I'm like, I'll do what I can manage and put the rest off till the next day which depends on urgency triage. I know people can't help the way they are and during high stress, people need an answer or a reassurance. I get all that, but sometimes I just want to live in my own world. And I might just do that if I win a lottery. Move to the country side, have an awesome veggie garden and build a fish room. I'd really like to have like a 4 m tank with blackwater and just cardinal tetras. I also always have some marked emails I am supposed to respond to or something. But on occasion, I just go through them, consider if they're still relevant. If not I remove them. Years ago, I did an online course time management. But such courses are really much more suited to neurotypical minds because my mind doesn't work like that. but what I did pick up from it is how to prioritise and that has helped me a lot. Looking back at my uni days, I think things were going too fast for me and I expended a lot of energy trying to keep up. That would explain why I had such difficulties because you're expected to complete three courses every trimester and you don't get the time to process the books and do the assignments. So you're on the run constantly or you're playing computer games all day because you're just too tired. It was actually fortunate for me the Dutch universities were switching to the current Bachelor and Master system (before you had to complete a full 4-year course in my case to get a 'doctorandus' degree) so I could settle for a bachelor's degree after 8 years of struggling without fitting support. I think a lot of people would benefit from a mostly online course with discussion groups for projects and exchanging feedback.

Another extremely useful video. Many, many thanks!

These things seem so scary to me. My brain just takes a little bit more time to process and I've had people take advantage of me by simply acting urgently. Now I don't trust myself to know when something is actually important. It's so frustrating because I feel like any time anyone says something to me I need like 5 min to respond in a way that is not just a knee-jerk agreement or making it a doom pile item.

feeling personally called out, but not quite ready to let go of the thought haunting me for months about sorting my 23K or so pictures on my phone yet😔

I not only don't answer my phone when I don't recognize the number, I also block the number. In all the time I've done this I only know of one person who I did that to that actually mattered instead of answering. It was a scheduler at my doctor's office and no harm done.

Thanks Paul. Great info.

9:39 I though you were going to say "throw away the baby" 😮

Note that this is similar to the KonMarie method - because they are similar, it means they operate from a common truth.

Whenever I give anyone my phone number, I tell them to only send texts because then they are constrained by actual words without nonverbal bullshit just like I am (but I don't tell them that second part usually lol) and I also tell them that my number is not an emergency line, which means I might not see it right away or be able to respond quickly. If it's a real emergency, they should call 911 or whatever the applicable number is (but it's 911 here). Some people get annoyed but I'd rather they get annoyed at the outset than get annoyed when they really need help and can't get ahold of me.

All too relatable…

I always hang up on unknown numbers, and I google the number and then I can call back if it was important. and Ill be more prepared for the conversation..

cool video mate

OMG my entire home is a doom pile.......save me!

For emails, I have started going through bit by bit, flagging any that NEED responses and archiving anything I’m done with. I try to leave with a mostly empty inbox or at least have everything flagged or categorized. Archiving helps because my inbox is all pretty much still there in the back I just don’t have to look at it

Paper bag labeled sort me from a year ago ... amongst other accumulations

If I deleted all my work emails that are more than 3 days old, I would probably get fired 😂 I often ignore phone calls though - I think if they want something from me, they can email me. I don’t have the time or patience for small talk. In my personal emails it’s a different story - I have emails that are months or sometimes years old.

DOOM piles, so scary! oh yea, I got doom galore

Unknowing numbers is in the uk can be mental health services and social services so I pick up

If I can’t decide between a couple of important tasks: I complete them in any order for a specific amount of time. (Normally 30 mins) Then it’s easier to make a decision about which task I want to duplicate and work on for another 30 mins.

I like and recognize the content of this video. But it still fills me with dread when I consider being better about filtering out information/things. xd Welp... xD Except for the last advice - which I already do at work to not burn out (too fast xd). Really nice and good video! Thank you for it!

Even if it's a spam call, if I'm not busy I like to hear what it is, might be funny to troll a scammer.

I'm autistic from the inside 💠

It’d be great if it was the post office... Some courier company once tried to (or rather pretended to) deliver me a package, they pretended I did not respond and I ended up having to spend FOUR HOURS to pick it up from their warehouse in the middle of nowhere. I basically wasted the entire day because they refused to even tell me what their hours were so I had to assume they close at 5. I hate courier companies so much

My wife picked up my phone one time when somebody called. And I think the guy may have had dementia, because he'd call multiple times a day and leave personal messages on my voicemail clogging it completely, and I wound up having to block it. The whole thing was kind of sad as the person he was trying to get in touch with hadn't had my phone number in at least 15 years as that's how long I'd had the number.

I don't delete really any of my emails. I just move them into a folder for that year when I've either dealt with them or just declared email bankruptcy and moved them anyways. These days, email storage space is so cheap, that there's no real reason not to keep all of them. I can always use the search function to identify the ones that I'm interested in later on.

My clients would frown on me turfing their requests if I haven't gotten to them in a couple days. 100% on answering unknown numbers. If it's a legit call they will leave a message.

I never pick up if I don't know who it is. If it's important, they can leave me a voicemail. I get rid of emails almost as fast as I get them. Got no time for clutter, virtual or otherwise.

Thank you! 🙏🏼🌷

Great!

I have been known to hide myself when people turn up outside my house unannounced 🙈 Phone ringing also induce a guge stress responce, hate it and do not answer if I don't know who is calling. My friends know not to call or just turn up at my place.

Regarding emails, I find I can ignore a lot of emails if I just briefly check the subject, most emails that get sent these days are things like receipts, reminders and such that either don't need direct action, or convey all required information in the subject and the body is just a waste of time