We'll be back soon in our hunt for the worst airport in Australia. Bathurst Tickets: www.friendlyjordies.com/live-show C*NTAS Shirt: www.friendlyjordies.com/product-page/c-ntas

My favourite part of being at an airport is having a meat pie and coke for $74.65 and then getting sent to prison cus I forgot to declare a breadcrumb in my suitcase

As a Victorian, I can guarantee that Sydney airport is better because trains.

Funniest thing is sydney international does have a smoking area past customs, that person was just too stupid to find it.

I don't know if you're aware, but google allows reviews of brothels, and people leave reviews with their real names. It's incredible comedy

Sydney airport isn't the worst airport I've been to, but trying to sleep in a nest of my luggage in the corner of a outdoor carpark overnight in winter is definitely my worst experience during international travel. The Sydney airport curfew is kind of nuts. Everyone assumes airports in major cities are 24 hours and unless you knew that the only airport in Australia's 2nd largest city isn't then you're homeless for the night. Everyone is forced outside at 11pm, until they let you back in at 6am. All travellers looked bewildered when they were told to go outside. Nothing nearby except vending machines and a few benches (not enough for everyone), and it was so cold in winter. The closest you could get to being indoors was a public toilet, and the train stops running. Most travellers got out their luggage and put everything on to stay warm. I remember one woman nursing a baby the whole night, I felt so sorry for her. She must have thought Australia was fucked. Hell, even Christchurch (population 396,000) airport has an indoor bit that stays open 24 hours so travellers can stay inside during overnight layovers.

Being kicked out of an international airport at midnight is pretty fucked.

Ok but international airport of a major city closing at 11pm? That's ridiculous.

We got no train in Melbourne. Ripping people off for long term parking. That alone makes it worse then the rest.

>Pearl Harbour >Thought there were some planes there I mean... Technically speaking, there were quite a number of planes there on at least one occasion

Why get a hotel? Just pull up at the nearest 24hr maccas and wait it out with a family box

to be fair, customs/quarantine incinerators do work overnight. the smell of burning garbage is a real thing

The fact you have to pay for the trolleys for your bags in sydney airport is criminal.

These reviewers have clearly never been to Launceston Airport (or any airport in Tassie) Anyway, as a Melbournian, the worst thing about our airport is no trains.

There's something heartwarming about Jordies bitching about the worst aspects of strangers and then immediately displaying those same traits himself. We really are all one.

Arriving International at Melbourne is always shite. First they make you walk through miles of duty free shops then you wait an hour for your bags to arrive, then you look around and can't figure out where the line for customs begins or ends. All you can see are thousands of people milling about all saying "Where am I supposed to go now?"

Sorry but the idea of the Airport kicking folks out at 11pm is hilarious to me. "I don't care where you go but you can's stay here." "Wait but I don't have a visa for Australia, I'm just waiting for the next plane" "I don't care it's almost bedtime for the airport and you'll keep it awake."

Best airport I've ever been to hands down is Kraków John Paul II International Airport. Ridiculously efficient, quite friendly and the dudes with guns on the tarmac actually smiled at us. When I left 12 days later the lady in immigration could tell I was a bit tired and gave me a voucher for a free coffee at the airport Cafe near my gate. I was hungover and so thankful for her kindness. Plus it's really easy to navigate the whole place even though I didn't speak a lick of Polish. Good on ya Krakow 👍 Inverness on the other hand...it has only two gates and that was confusing as heck when you'd think it would be simple Simon.

As someone who has worked as a baggage handler I can confidently say that they don’t give a flying fuck about your luggage. Best advice is to buy a sturdy bag. Or use a duffel bag.

9:05 ohh there was a whole news article and interviews about this, they tired to make a kid take off his blood glucose scanner, which aside from being a medical device used to cost 200 a month to use

Water fountains near the bathrooms!? That'd disgusting! They really should route plumbing haphazardly all over the place.

No public water fountains at Brisbane airport, plenty of vending machines selling water.

As an American who flies in every year, I'd say that for me, Melbourne airport is pretty good. Sydney airport is the fucking worst airport I've ever been to. Having to take a shuttle bus from the international part to the domestic part always makes me late for my connecting flight to Melbourne. Always try to land in Melbourne when possible for that reason.

Pretty sure Victoria cracked down on Taxi drivers not accepting fares for being "too short" of a drive. It's definitely not allowed, I know the old way of bypassing it was saying one location known to be far enough, then changing destination shortly after they started driving.

To be fair to all of the "worst in the world" folks, I actually haven't been to an airport where the walk from the terminal to the pickup is a 500m walk. Timing picking up mates from the airport is like surgery.

I punched the air when hearing the Western Sydney airport would go ahead without the current owner building it. Sydney and Melbourne will soon be two cities with two airport railways. Pysch.

The Qantas terminal bus transfer between domestic and international is what kills Sydney Airport for me

Perth Airport has a $2 dispenser in the ladies' that spits out a random miniature perfume

The complaints about being kicked out over night for a layover are valid tbf. Airports should be 24/7. If people have a flight, they should be welcome to stay in the airport until their flight. Anyway, I've only been to Adelaide, Darwin, Queenstown, Brisbane, Wellington, and Auckland airports, and I rank them from best to worst in that order. And Darwin only gets to be so high up because despite lacking a lot of good shit, it's simply a small place that gets you in and out quickly. Very little stress.

Straight up, Melbourne airport is the most depressing thing to return to after a holiday.

Closing the aurport at night is absolute TRASH. Don't be smug and cope like it's even remotely reasonable, because it's not, travelling is difficult and expensive and horrific enough. If people can afford a room they will, the ones who are in hard times and can't, CAN'T.

Enjoying this video in Melbourne domestic airport as my Qantas flight has been cancelled twice and delayed for some more time

Canberra Terminal is now really nice, but i remember doing work runs from SYD to CBR weekly when it was literally a shed in a field.

All airport terminals should be open 24 hours for Christ's sake, we live in the 21st century! This isn't some horse drawn stagecoach but if it was at least there would be a house of disrepute next door to pass the time away

Okay, since I did work at Sydney airport for a while (not anymore, thank fuck) in customer service...the 11pm curfew is because of the homes nearby and the airport and liners get fined if they fly after 11pm. Plus, the carparks are not $50....it's a stupid 69.90 for 3-24hr period...best advise. Go to the blue emu carpark or get the train. Also, the airport is built like it's 1970...it's fucked.

"It's better than my house" and cutting to the video of the firebombing is the exact reason friendlyjordies is cant miss. What a legend.

Just sitting here in Adelaide thinking, well no-one is upset with our airport.

I like the idea that some stuck-up fella finds a Sydney winter to be the equivalent of one from Game of Thrones.

I am so sick of Sydney and Melbourne airports, I actually made my own plane from scratch and got my plane license just to avoid it

Melboure loses because there's no airport train, your only options are the Skybus, morgaging your house for airport parking, or getting scammed by uber/taxi drivers

Still find it kind of weird that they have curfews at those in some Australian airports, up here in Darwin there's nothing like that, had so many flights in the middle of the night and its great! (not really). While its nice having a smaller airport with everything being so close (love going to like gate 500 and walking for 30 minutes at the melb airport) its completely ruined by having no krispy kreme. 1 star, utterly detestable

So many uploads, glad you’re back.

Melbourne airport absolute dog shit. I'm 100% including accessibility as an issue in the assessment

Had a 5 hour layover in Perth airport. Went out to visit a friend while I waited because the airport was so bare I was bored even on my phone. Spent about 2 hours with my friend, who struggled to show me anything of interest about Perth as everything was closed by 5pm that I voluntarily went back to the airport; choosing the lesser of two evils and continued being bored there.

Jordan looking like he's got Joseph's coat today...

7:00 "what so it's worse than f**kin pearl harbour is it??" Man you crack me up every single time hey 😂 7:35 i was listening to this while doing some lifting and when i heard him sat bumholes I literally dropped a stack of weights 😂🤦

Literally just watched this after work 😂upload on point, knows his audience! 🙌😝the voice you do whenever you're trying to quote some meme dude you hate literally cracks me up everytime LMAO.

legit have been watching your old "worst" vids the past week im so glad ur making new ones keep up the great work man

ok but seriously why are there no seats at melbourne airport

As a Melbourne airport worker. I have to agree, Melbourne airport doesn't care about human life 😂

My best airport story is the time a reporter/camera person in front of me spent 20 minutes arguing with security because they had a half used roll of Gaffer tape in their carry on and didn't want to throw it out. The absolute entitlement coming out of this dudes mouth was glorious. He ended up surrounded by 6 guards while he argued his case, then looked to me for support. I said "Dude, it's a $5 roll of tape. Throw it out and move on". One of the seccos mouthed "thank you" and waved me through once the camera person moved on.

Melbourne airport is an entirely different universe. I always get lost, its scary, so horrifying. Sydney airport has the best burritos.

But Sydney airport is pretty bad though. I got shanked in the bathroom. Apparently bro was upset by “the intense colour of my shirt”.

Melbourne airport *does* look like a bomb shelter. Well said. Totally pov. Skip the Skybus and catch the local 901 bus to Broadmeadows station then train it to Flinders St Station to top it off.

T4 in Melbourne has to be the most embarrassingly pathetic attempt for a a terminal in the modern history

Sounds like a lot of these people have yet to set foot in Atlanta. How I envy them.

I gave myself a six pack laughing at the bumholes comment. That SENT me HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

This is funny af , for some reason , love your work

my only petty whinge about our big airports is I like ring layouts; like San Francisco SFO... makes getting from terminal to terminal a quick walk even at a massive airport. Except for Tullamarine; all our big airports are sit on a bus and wait for 15 minutes going from domestic to international, despite not really having have many passengers through. Otherwise our airports are fine and I don't mind them one bit.

No matter how bad any of these airports are, none of them are anywhere near as bad as LaGuardia

nah m8 tru blue farkin aussie planes gotta have a dart punching section just pure unaustralian mate

This made me laugh hard this morning, thank you 😂❤

Worst thing about Melbourne airport, is the taxi rank is now 200 meters up the road , what was a taxi rank is friggen Uber section,

He had to re-recorded the ending because Melbourne didn't approve. Wake up people the conspiracy is real!

I genuinely think the fact that Sydney airport can't keep people for overnight layovers is fucked. Even Brisbane is 24hr

Going through security again at SYD when transferring is annoying

I dunno what the airport in Bali is called, but I think it should count

These people that leaves nonsense negative reviews are the reason why I wanted google to have a “reply” button to a review.

Ive been to sydney international airport. It was a maze and i had no clue where i was going when i got off my flight. I kind of just followed everyone else and hoped that the person in front knew where they were going lmao

I'd like to see these people review the airport in Cordova, Alaska. The only thing I can remember about it is the terminal is just kinda a building and I'd like a detailed recap on it.

Can you do a video on the lebo crime families?

Ha I liked rocking up to a regional air port in nsw. Got there 30 mins before the flight was due to depart. Guy checked me in when I rocked up. Loaded my luggage on board and said I can go onto the plane or wait. So much more relaxed than a large airport

I remember going to Dubbo airport about a decade ago and it was one of the best airports I’ve ever been to. I mean it was just like 2 booths, a runway and nothing else, but it was a nice change of pace just walking into the airport and being walked through within the same 5 minutes and being on the plane within the 10 minutes that I arrived there.

"I can't picture that in my stupid head filled with cartoons" I think has to be one of the things I have most identified with in my entire life.

When he says the smell of flaming garbage, he meant the people of Sydney, not literal flaming garbage.

melbourne airport doesn't have a train and it's 2024. Sydney does. Enough said.

Some anonymous person who does egg farts in an airport is always a pain, not to mention a fire hazard.

My local airport has three taxidermy bears near the tsa, a taxidermy mountain lion, and several mountain goats. No airport I have been to could ever top that.

There's no praying room? Okay. That airport is the best.

1 view in 48 seconds jordie fell off

0:00 I havent heard that notification sound since I got my first phone in middle school -- htc g1 sidekick

“I don’t mind sitting on the ground like I’m a fucking invalid” fuck me that was a good laugh.

This is EXACTLY the critical and cut throat journalism I signed up for. Airport review/tierlist next?

I can't speak for Sydney airport but as someone who visited Melbourne airport twice a month for 4 years the most frustrating thing is that the virgin flights would often get moved from one terminal to another which would mean going through security in twice. Sometimes it would get moved back again though. The announcement's of a change of gate between the terminal's did not go over the PA speakers if you were waiting at a gate in the wrong terminal, so if you were in the wrong terminal waiting and nobody found these people they missed their flights. Saw it happen to many people, during the many, many times my flights were delayed on a friday night. (The other bug bear - weather impacting flight times a lot into Melbourne)

I feel like you've shammed me I've wrote one review for subway because I had chewed up gum in my sub that I started chewing..nah it was justified.

You know you're up late when you start catching the Australian's uploads early

I was in Coolangatta airport 2 weeks ago and two groups were so eager to be the first on the plane and line up 20 minutes before the gate opens that they had a food fight over who got to be first...

This made me laugh so hard at one point I couldn't breathe. Cheers.

so glad you're back jordie!

We spent 4 hours waiting at Sydney airport on a work trip and went through security for a smoke. my mate found it hilarious that every time we came back inside I would be selected for a "random" bomb screening

My local airport doesn't even have security

I’m in Melbourne and I never sit at the airport. I usually sit in the food court

Funny shit. I also had a flight delayed overnight at Sydney Airport and they didn't allow you to stay in the airport. But I didn't want to go home because I'd never wake up in time for the early morning flight. And the airline didn't offer to pay for accommodation. So I hid in the airport, and whenever someone came along to shoo me off I'd just find somewhere to hide and sleep. Best night of my life.

Having bad airports/boating things on an island is unfortunate. but it’s the best you can do unless you grow wings or a really really godly good swimmer.

I was waiting at the airport once and there was literally a chicken inside of security running around that none of the staff could corner. No explanation what so ever.

My favourite part of the airport is being looked at like a terrorist because i had a travel kit of shampoo in my bag that i bought from a kiosk near the gates that the bloody cashier said was small enough to take on my luggage, it sometimes feels like in order to work the checkpoint the stick up the arse is part of the uniform.

I’ve been “randomly searched” at Melbourne airport more times I’ve been there. I’ve been there at least 6 times a year since 2022.

the shogun joke was kinda funny. i took off my headphones and stood up from my chair as a pavlovian response to acquire my microwaved slop and on my way out of my room i said "hehe that was kinda funny"

Love the content man 😂

(I mean, normally if airports have over-night connections, they do allow for passengers to stay in a designated area for a couple of hours)