Your Relationships With Parents is the Foundation for Every Other Relationship You'll Have

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@TheHolisticPsychologist 4 жыл бұрын

#selfhealers-- I created this video so you could understand more about the way you process emotions and communicate. So much of this is dictated by the relationship we have with earliest caregivers. As adults, the more awareness we have around this the more access to healing we have. Let me know if you have any feedback! Much love, Nicole

@aundrinastubbe4525 4 жыл бұрын

Do u think it is possible to have two attachment types? I feel like I am Secure and Insecure Anxious. I spent half my time with my grandmother (secure) and my mother (Insecure Anxious).

@pigeonlovebird 4 жыл бұрын

The Holistic Psychologist thank you for this - I feel like I am a mix of the last 3? As I become more self aware I am moving up the ladder, I think ... thank you for saying what you said, it will help me do better in being a parent. It’s so hard to stay attuned to the child’s needs all the time but I’m trying, my own mood gets in the way but I’m trying so hard to not do that to my kids like it was done with me. Thanks for the insight, I experienced all three of the lower ones so that is my goal to be the first one for my children, thank you for clarifying 💖

@ayoungethan 4 жыл бұрын

@karen ralph I feel like it matters. Obviously having one reliable emotionally available caregiver is better than nothing. In my family that was my mom. Thanks to her I have some secure attachment characteristics. But I also have insecure anxious characteristics because she was constantly putting aside her needs to help others (my dad, my brothers and me). My brothers became combinations of insecure-avoidant and insecure-anxious because they had a stronger relationship with my dad than me, and copped a lot more of the ways he modeled behavior / masculinity. I never really gelled with masculinity from a young age for some reason, so my mom became my primary caregiver and a larger influence on me. I have also seen this play out in a friend's family. She is an amazing mom of two, has done (and is doing) a ton of self-healing work and just getting divorced from her absentee/neglectful/manipulative/controlling husband who makes all his relationships about him (e.g. he didn't let her buy her son a 2nd pair of shoes until he left his coat somewhere and demanded they go "shoe" shopping. He made a beeline for the coat section and also took credit for the 2nd pair of shoes). However the son is much more like his mom because she has been there "in the trenches" with him, so to speak. This is one of the ways that I believe patriarchy has the potential to provide the seeds of its own demise: it relies on 3rd party child caregivers. If those caregivers provide secure attachment modeling, it can break the intergenerational insecurity. I feel like we look for insecure-anxious caregivers, though, as "ideal" because they silently and reliably put aside their own needs to care for others without "rocking the boat" and they avoid conflict where their needs conflict with the dominant circumstances. Protects vs calling into question the ego (both theirs and others').

@ayoungethan 4 жыл бұрын

I appreciate the courage and transparency you model in using yourself and your healing journey as an example, where applicable to the content you provide!

@ayoungethan 4 жыл бұрын

@@aundrinastubbe4525 she said these all exist on a spectrum and I think the same as you -- we are never or rarely fully one single type due to variations in modeling we receive. But I do think we have at least one or two dominant type(s). I think I have a primary secure and secondary insecure-anxious type, for example.

@xfa8395 4 жыл бұрын

Oh This is so on point. Aw I am re-parenting myself into the secure mode. It´s never too late to have a beautiful childhood.

@TheHolisticPsychologist 4 жыл бұрын

I’m proud of you! It really is never too late.

@reallifedialogue 4 жыл бұрын

I am doing the same,I am actually at the very beginning. Sending you love and Light!

@xfa8395 4 жыл бұрын

The Holistic Psychologist l am so happy to have found you. I am constantly translating your insta posts to Spanish. If you ever consider translating your work l would be proud to Do such a beautiful work. Big love and gratitude

@miryreina925 4 жыл бұрын

Beautifully said 😊🙏💜

@NESSAMORE99 4 жыл бұрын

Well said 👌

@aitanarodrigues6032 4 жыл бұрын

You've actually helped me more than my actual therapist

@TheHolisticPsychologist 4 жыл бұрын

honored!

@jcepri 4 жыл бұрын

I feel the same way. My therapist just stops me and asks what I'm feeling in my body. I never know what to say to that so I make something up.

@ayoungethan 4 жыл бұрын

My therapist referred me to the holistic psychologist! Mad props to my therapist and the holistic psychologist both :)

@Missy-Leigh 4 жыл бұрын

Jeff. Tell your therapist that you feel like you have to make shit up when he/she asks you how it feels in your body. You have no idea what they are talking about and that they need to dig deeper if you are going to keep paying a fee. Then refer her to Dr. Peter Levine for info on somatic experiencing and Dr. David Berceli for TRE. I know Levine has an online course that may cost less than you are paying to lie to your therapist. Sending love to you. ❤️

@Karolinaanna80 4 жыл бұрын

@@jcepri I think you should be honest with your therapist that you don't know what to answer. You are not there to please anyone and I don't think the therapist actually wants that anyway. And they won't be able to help you if they don't know what's really going on. Even the greatest therapists are not mind readers. But it is probably worth checking why you want to please them?

@alinaene 4 жыл бұрын

Since I became aware of attachement styles, it pains me to see parents mistreating their children and thinking of the pain that child will carry into their adulthood. It also added to the fear of ever becoming a parent myslef...

@jamilezzayas9076 3 жыл бұрын

yesssss youre so right. but you know you can switch that mindset and be the one to break that generation curse. once you have youre child, you will know how to treat and speak to them. you already know how it feels.

@reg8297 3 жыл бұрын

It's good u recognise it I'm in my 40s feel ill never get over the abuse of my mother thrn father of my kids it was a repeat abuse relationship like I had with my mother waking uip in mú. 40s to this absolute frightening reality she is sorry yet I'm immobilised by terror at what she done to my life

@moonbabyhealing 3 жыл бұрын

Yes. I hear you. I actually had to move on from some friends who are parents because this was to painful to see

@calmingbabysleep1256 2 жыл бұрын

Adoption

@celinamilian 2 жыл бұрын

@@reg8297 Go forgive her, then you will have your power back

@seasailor2841 3 жыл бұрын

How our parent see us in childhood, is how we see us in adulthood. If they emotionally abuse child, the child dont hate them but hate themselve. So any one suffering from selfhate and doubt understant that its not true. You are worthy to be loved, love yourself.

@HeatherHennessey-zq4ou 7 ай бұрын

That is super insightful too, thank you!! That "the child learns to hate themselves," - so true! Wish it weren't that way. Now to undo it all.... sigh. Lol! Wish the way to do that was clear also! ❤

@HeatherHennessey-zq4ou 7 ай бұрын

Yes, that's me - I was hated; and although I was a model student and talented, people said, I'm not successful, and am crippled by self-doubt. And by limiting beliefs. Thanks for the ray of hope and encouragement!! xD

@lockandloadlikehell 9 күн бұрын

You're projecting That's 100% untrue

@denise7345 4 жыл бұрын

I grew up with A very anxious family , very impatient, overthinking , and most of all no boundaries, it all came from my dads sides of the family my grandmother is the same way with a temper screams at everyone very belittling no boundaries, my dad is the same growing up I watched my dad argue with my mom and vice Versa , I grew up with so many emotions of hate , sadness , worthless and wanting a new family bc I knew my family was bad , I grew up and got into a relationship and I was the toxic one I had the same mannerism as I did with my parents I didn’t know how to love I didn’t know what boundaries were , how do communicate etc , now I wanna change I need help

@TheHolisticPsychologist 4 жыл бұрын

Look for my posts on boundaries, healing unhealthy family dymanics, and reparenting.

@isabelaguzei8745 4 жыл бұрын

Same here:(

@PauloMaierr 4 жыл бұрын

Wow. You described how I feel.

@dz9589 3 жыл бұрын

Same

@jacobsl3499 3 жыл бұрын

Good to hear you are motivated to seek help. This is possible with time, but SO MUCH easier with a good therapist. Seek out one. And do the work. Be patient. Good luck.

@sim1regina 4 жыл бұрын

I had an emotionally unavailable father, and sometimes he was quite abusive toward me. He was really young when he had me, and I don't think he knew how to raise a daughter. I feel that now, it's manifested this mindset that men don't have real feelings, and won't ever attempt to understand me. I've been in relationships with unevolved, emotionally unavailable and avoidant men, where the relationship is mainly based on physicality

@emb1218 3 жыл бұрын

I feel you. Emotionally unavailable father & had relationships where it was based on the physical and the guy was literally, emotionally unavailable. My mom also wasn’t the best example of healthy self-confidence, very insecure. My childhood was a freaking mess. But I learned a lot of what I DON’T want. I don’t want a workaholic husband, for example. Now, I have a wonderful husband who had a pretty healthy childhood. He doesn’t fully understand, but he’s supportive of me. I don’t think anything could have prepared him for my childhood scars & issues within my family. But he is amazing and loyal and COMMUNICATES with me. Don’t settle girl. Life gets better. I’m finally, for the first time in my life, happy now. ❤️

@rhythm2238 2 жыл бұрын

@@emb1218 OHHH MY GODD....I cant tell how much i relate with u...everything..emotionally unavailable father , insecure mom and wanting a partner who is not anxious as i am and yesssss who is more expressive than i am...basically who Communicates...i so relate with that feeling!!!! DAMNNNN

@zainakhaled2293 4 жыл бұрын

Oh, god. Brought tears to my eyes. Thank you Dr. Nichole. Truly needed this, as im a mum now. I wanna raise my child better. I know it has to get fixed so the cycle stops

@TheHolisticPsychologist 4 жыл бұрын

I see you, cycle breaker

@hi.moriarty 3 жыл бұрын

I'm so proud of you for wanting to make the changes in order to ensure a healthier lifestyle for yourself and for your children's future. That is really encouraging! Thank you for saying it out loud!❤

@marshacreary2442 4 жыл бұрын

Anxious- Low on avoidance, high on anxiety, craves closeness and intimacy, very insecure about the relationship

@martianmoongdds 4 жыл бұрын

”I had a mother who is very emotionally disconnected, living out her attachment style from childhood. But that left me very alone to navigate very big feelings on my own, so I really struggled within my own emotions. I could have a whole lot of things happening internally, externally you might not know. Or if you are aware that something is going on with me, you’re not experiencing me as seeking or looking for reassurance or support because I’m replicating that model, I didn’t have someone showing up for me and helping me with my emotions.” 💗

@kynathomas4809 4 жыл бұрын

Same.♥️

@sophiathieme3037 3 жыл бұрын

Same..

@emlish 4 жыл бұрын

I love how you talk about your own experiences, I don't know how common that is in the field but I would be much more inclined to open up to someone who has issues as well

@SteveWKk 3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely......everything being so one sided sucks...

@elizabethcruz8547 4 жыл бұрын

Is it possible to be more than one? My mother provided me with the security as a child. Meanwhile, my dad was the withdrawn , angry, abusive, and alcoholic who made a part of me insecure anxious and possibly insecure disorganized. I’m so grateful I found your videos since I just got out of a toxic relationship and my father just passed away and I am really trying to dig dip within myself and self heal to be able to understand and love myself before getting into a romantic relationship.

@MicahRion 4 жыл бұрын

I relate to that experience of feeling like I can be okay when everyone else around me is okay

@abedofevilandlettuce 4 ай бұрын

Wow. Ive taken many psych classes,and this is the CLEAREST, most understandable explanation. Thank you! All those insecure styles resonate. I grew up in a violent home,ended up with grandparents a lot who had 7 kids of their own, working class, so i raised myself. Achieved as a kid, addicted as a young adult,trauma after trauma,and now Im healing, as a mom, in my 40s.

@monicatomlinson4392 4 жыл бұрын

Watching in the UK. Made me cry. But im 50 now and ive broken the cycle with my kids. I can identify with those last 2 categories btw! You are fabulous. Thank you!

@TheHolisticPsychologist 4 жыл бұрын

Hi Monica! I'm proud of you, cycle breaker.

@florencescovel4660 4 жыл бұрын

I am definetly the insecure anxious attachment style. Even my mom said that when my school teacher asked me when I am happy, I responded: I am happy when EVERYONE around me is happy.

@celinamilian 2 жыл бұрын

Damn that is flipped

@kalaylamarie3150 4 жыл бұрын

All I want to say is thank you, thank you so much!! This actually made me cry. I was raised by very manipulative and abusive parents, now that I am in a very secure and loving relationship I randomly get anxiety and wonder if I'm safe and if he's just manipulating me like my parents. It's been eating at me and I felt like I hit a brick wall on my healing journey. So thank you for sharing this knowledge with the world and opening doors towards unbelievable healing and growth. Much love 💚

@eviezucchinimartini 4 жыл бұрын

as soon as you started talking insecure disorganized attachment, i knew that was me. wow.

@shellyadamsladyblue3739 4 жыл бұрын

I so have issues with this. My childhood was stressful. My mother was disconnected an my grandmother was disconnected. I have issues with being abandoned. No on shows up for my stress. Just me. Thank u fir this. I found u today for a reason

@Paris-pg9lb 4 жыл бұрын

I already know this video is gonna hit deep 😭

@TheHolisticPsychologist 4 жыл бұрын

Might hurt a bit, but it will set you free

@yourerightileft6764 4 жыл бұрын

@@TheHolisticPsychologist how is it possible to overcome these unhealthy attachment styles if at all? I'm 34 and never have been in a happy relationship.

@sbegum29 4 жыл бұрын

parisjellie ikr😭😭

@alaaaaa4132 4 жыл бұрын

@@TheHolisticPsychologist thank you

@grayrockaroundtheclock9937 4 жыл бұрын

Emotional resilience is definitely something I never learned.

@mariateresaemotionalmusings 4 жыл бұрын

I love how every Sunday is a new pearl of wisdom from you Dr. Nicole😁 Please keep dropping these truth bombs, waking up the masses and helping us all heal! No more trauma responses passing itself off as culture😉

@TheHolisticPsychologist 4 жыл бұрын

Oh I like that last sentence! I am going to create in instagram around this. Thank you!

@mariateresaemotionalmusings 4 жыл бұрын

@@TheHolisticPsychologist I thank you so much. I follow you on IG under Ladysag77 and Emotionalmusings. I asked you to read my poem "Boundaries" which you so graciously did. I absolutely applaud your work. I can't take 100% credit for that last sentence about trauma responses and culture however bc I saw it as a post on IG somewhere and I can't remember where. As a writer myself I would never attempt to take credit for another writer's words😁

@DEEPCYCLEGARAGE 4 жыл бұрын

WOW! "No more trauma responses passing itself off as culture" !

@rhythm2238 2 жыл бұрын

@@TheHolisticPsychologist wow YES the last line caught me off guard!!!!!!

@sharonflynn9684 3 жыл бұрын

I feel like im looking at the little girl i used to be and im holding her. And i will heal her x thank you

@roshalllambert 4 жыл бұрын

Even I have an Avoidant attachment style and your point about not understanding or responding well to non verbal cues and feelings of other people was spot on. I’ve had a lot of trouble understanding and getting in touch with my feelings and others

@ragingwitch8875 4 жыл бұрын

Hey thank you so much for putting this out. I've been realizing in the last 24 hours how unhealthy my relationship with my mother is. Can you do a video on navigating boundaries with parents in particular? And how to as an adult communicate emotional needs and build a healthier more productive relationship? Thanks my dude you're awesome 😊

@kozubart Жыл бұрын

Wow. I've grown up in a toxic, abusive, narcissistic household with TWO narc parents. I've somehow managed to use the internet to learn everything I can about what I have experienced, put in the actual hard work to heal, and developed a Secure Attachment style ( or very close to it ). Healing is very real and it IS possible!

@themodernmeditator 4 жыл бұрын

I come under the insecure organised attachment and I've only just in the last couple of weeks been aware of it in my relationships. It's taken 31 years for me to see it! Thank you for this video. It's helped more than you could possibly know. x

@gothmaze 4 жыл бұрын

I'm from insecure disorganized as well as insecure anxious attachment styles! I never knew and now I can heal.

@margaretmccue6370 4 жыл бұрын

The length of these videos and the way you deliver the message is excellent. Thank you.

@aitanarodrigues6032 4 жыл бұрын

This video is really helpful. I now understand a lot of patterns of myself that I didn't understand. I'm the insecure anxious type and everything has now sense. I'm working to become the secure one:)

@DVines-sz4nn 4 жыл бұрын

Subbed! 🐸 Tyft! Real and reasonableness from someone who seems to understand what cannot be learned from textbooks nor lectures! Hurt people hurt people it's that simple. 💐🍃👌

@devonhaff7863 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for keeping each video short and to the point. I learn best this way.

@carolineharris3674 4 жыл бұрын

I’m so so grateful for this video. Please continue to make content! Thank you for your work!!

@tarapollitt1929 4 жыл бұрын

I'm disorganized attachment and really connected to this description of it! The safety/danger questioning and confusing emotions, thank you so much. Looking forward to the next one :)

@peacefulwarrior5845 4 жыл бұрын

Amazing! I knew that our experiences with our earliest relationships with caregivers, really set the stage with our relationships in adulthood, but I hadn't ever seen it broken down into such understandable sections and types of attachment before. Thank you so much for explaining and sharing your work and knowledge with us. I love your channel and follow all your content on Instagram too. You're helping to heal the collective in a really effective, understandable and productive way! Many thanks! Much love! X

@TheMirrorAndTheWindow 4 жыл бұрын

So much value in this video. So much tied into the parent- child relationship! Thank you ❤️

@dharmabum1111 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this. Ive been reflecting so much since losing my mom last year. Recall that the first time I went to a therapist when I was 20 I learned that I had parented my parents, they had me right out of high school. I relate to the Insecure Avoidant too, with the disconnects between what I feel and how I act. I also have a lot of other self-knowledge why I'm like that. But I'm also intuitive and highly sensitive, so I do pick up on the feelings of others...and it ALWAYS affects me, good or bad. Yet I also feel quite autonomous, and quite comfortable alone. Making long term high value connections remains a challenge, but I'm up for it. Moving along this journey!

@santolayacity 3 жыл бұрын

You are the BEST communicator on this topic I have found on KZfaq so far. Thanks so much Nicole

@vickicsurbs444 4 жыл бұрын

I grew up in an extremely abusive family. The only one who showed me unconditional love & support was my grandfather. If it wasn't for him I know I would of been dead as a child. Yep the two lower ones is what I've had as a child. More the bottom one. Thank you for this video.

@TheHolisticPsychologist 4 жыл бұрын

I sent you a lot of love. Thank you for having the courage to watch.

@vickicsurbs444 4 жыл бұрын

@@TheHolisticPsychologist thank you🙌🙏

@theliftexpert 4 жыл бұрын

Vicki C's UR BS ...god bless your grandfather,,,,treat yourself the way he treated you !

@Sereneis Жыл бұрын

You are so worthy to me! Thank you so much for ALL you do!❤

@brandifuller6735 3 жыл бұрын

I have never heard of this before! I feel like I understand myself and my parents much better now. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with others.

@beya.femaleenergy1914 3 жыл бұрын

thank you! I appreciate you and your video so much. I’m learning so much about myself and being able to have this as a guide to kind of pinpoint why I feel the way I do or did or my cycles/patterns is a blessing. Thank you, I am on my inner child healing journey. I want my children to have better, I’m stopping the cycle 💛

@electriksnake 4 жыл бұрын

thank you so much for such a clear explanation of themes we all experience. truly a blessing! thank you

@optimisticambivert 4 жыл бұрын

Gosh this was really eyeopening, as all your content always is. I definitely feel like I fell under the category of Insecure Anxious. I was always the people pleaser and boundaries now are something I'm really trying to work on because I can see how I reflect that onto my son now. Thank you so much for bringing awareness to this.

@flarebrown5048 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this in-depth explanation of each attachment style. I have a much better understanding now. Better than definitions I learned in school.

@TheNoemi001 4 жыл бұрын

Genius. You are a blessing of clarity.

@chook3307 4 жыл бұрын

Wow I didn’t know that I have an insecure anxious attachment style. I had no idea until now. Explains a lot.

@daysiurbano890 4 жыл бұрын

I cannot wait until the next video! Like so many, it brought me to tears! To learn that I can start understanding about my emotions and begin the process of healing is so comforting. So glad I found you.

@DEEPCYCLEGARAGE 4 жыл бұрын

So happy I found you! You help me feel so good about myself as a Father and as a Son who put up boundaries to not participate in family dinners any longer. I still have contact but only under my terms. Very empowering.

@katielaw3039 4 жыл бұрын

Hugely impactful to me as a parent! I try to be as conscious of a parent as I can, but after watching this I can see there are areas where I can offer more support to my littles. Thank you Dr. Nicole!

@kelleybright3113 2 жыл бұрын

Ikr and to think we are all still growing..protect our kids

@AyshaFilms 2 жыл бұрын

you're an awesome parent

@user-xb8fl5rb3p 8 ай бұрын

Your shorts about child/parent relationships are awesome! What a great idea!

@letterscreative Жыл бұрын

You are so very deeply appreciated. I love the fact that you share your OWN experience, without shame, without excuse, you let us connect and relate to you on a personal level. I LOVE that about you!!! Thank you! You're grounding us all as humans, making us all feel interconnected and helping one another. You're so spot on! Doing excellent work!

@joannaphilipa4177 4 жыл бұрын

I started following your content on instagram and when I saw that you have a youtube channel I went straight to subscribing. Love your simple and nice style of comunicating. I'm a 21 year old girl and I think I fall into the insecure anxious category. my mom has always put other people's needs first, including mine, and my father has been addicted to alcohol for years (some hardcore drinking). Lately something finally came over him and he's finally willing to put in the effort to quit drinking compulsively. I'm still distrustful of what the future holds for him and therefore afraid to end up disappointed, but I'm also faithfull that he will win against his addiction because he's a good man at his core. I'm now in my first relationship with a boy and I can't fully feel safe around him. This lack of security manifests itself on my phisical body dispite him being 100% trustworthy and present with my emotions. Your videos are helping me and I will surely follow your work, thank you!

@frederiquebourbonnais1621 4 жыл бұрын

I am just so grateful you exist. I have learned SO MUCH from you. The world needs you and people like you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

@LyssieLysse 4 жыл бұрын

I'm in the process of re-parenting my Self and this information has been so helpful. I fall into 2 categories, one from each of my parents: Insecure anxious (Mom) and Insecure disorganized (Dad). It's going to take some more work to fall into the Secure category, but I know it's not too late to be the adult I deserve to be.

@user-id3sw1qn7r 4 жыл бұрын

I feel the exact same way!!

@blairwaldorph 4 жыл бұрын

@@user-id3sw1qn7r omg me too!

@bkirstie 9 ай бұрын

mom: abusive dad: enables mom, emotionally unavailable

@bethanysaxton7351 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this, and for all you do. I have had great difficulty finding a therapist who does this kind of work where I live but am definitely in need. I look forward to continuing to learn how to reparent myself according to my combo of attachment styles. Thanks, again. ❤️

@ericascott5554 4 жыл бұрын

Like many others, you have been a great teacher and motivator for me to change the way I think and feel. I definitely have attachment issues, however I'm not really sure where I fit in. I always fall in between several areas or none at all. I greatly look forward to anything that you put out because I know that it will be immensely beneficial!!! Please never stop what you're doing!!!

@aliasno.4andover644 3 жыл бұрын

If That's the Case, I Need to prepare for a lot of Heartbreak, Betrayal, Unappreciation, and Disrespect.

@mizlove2747 4 жыл бұрын

I just love how your videos are so informative and concise. I'm definitely in the Insecure Anxious category - wow. Very eye-opening. Thank you so much for all of your videos. I love them. I feel like I'm back in school now, trying to drink in all information pertaining to my childhood. At 55, I'm just beginning on this journey, and I feel much more empowered. :)

@SynchrotizedPsychotherapist 8 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your honesty in this video. I am a therapist and also have had a primarily avoidant AS. My husband can never understand why I can be so good at my job and attune to clients/patients but struggle and have all these defences with him. It is very frustrating for both of us and you have just given some validation to this struggle so thank you so much :)

@borgullet3376 4 жыл бұрын

you are Such A GIFT Doc..you cut to the chase with no airs. layin' it down for the layperson. BLESSINGS !

@fightington 9 ай бұрын

You just explained this in a way i could understand for the first time. i was even mis-characterizing my own style until this! You have a very strong gift in making things easy to grok. 2 vids, two epiphanies. I've been around self help/spiritual stuff for decades, this is the real deal. Thankyou, again

@rydxrbro1666 4 жыл бұрын

I definitely feel like there was a bit of all three of those kinds (excluding the top, unfortunately) of attachment happening with my mum when I was a lil’ one. I’m looking forward to seeing what you have to follow up with, tips & techniques & the like. Thank you 🙏🏻

@brettneuberger6466 4 жыл бұрын

That was the clearest explanation of attachment I’ve heard. Thank you!

@tina-estrella 4 жыл бұрын

just realizing that I used to be all of them except the first one as my parents fall into one ore more of those categories themselves. This just cleared so much inside of me - thank you!!!!

@NenaLavonne 4 жыл бұрын

What a gift you have for explaining things both simply and perfectly! Great and important video!!! 😊✨✨✨

@May-xt9pv 3 жыл бұрын

I saw you on Maria Menounos’ show and was blown away with all that you said. I’m so thrilled that I found you. And, here you are teaching us, offering so much! Thank you so much!

@deejamieson Жыл бұрын

Thanks for talking about your own journey through this. Relatable, truthful, authentic., HUMAN! And Appreciated!

@trishwest1809 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you Dr Nicole for this excellent presentation on attachment style. 💕 This really helped me understand why I was so fortunate to have a mother who was patient with me and provided me with security and confidence from childhood into adult life ! My father was the withdrawn type and caused disturbances and stress in the home. Thank you! This really helped me understand better my current relationships and why I question and evaluate others first before I can feel safe enough to trust. ❤

@mikeburrello4396 8 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for the way you break everything down!

@Joohee4 4 жыл бұрын

I learned all of this years ago in my early childhood development program but the way you explained it was very clear and helpful. I have the Insecure Disorganized style, which I want rally able to identify until I watched this video. Now I can move forward and heal it now that I’m more clear in which style of attachment I predominantly am. Thank you!

@Hardrainstudio 4 жыл бұрын

Beautifully done .. thank you for your candid, humble manner

@Carroty_Peg 4 жыл бұрын

This is SO SO helpful. I've not heard anyone speak with the clarity you have about family ties. It's so so complicated and I so often hear, ' your mum loves you' but my mum also didn't raise me well and neglected me! I've no idea whether maintaining family ties helps or hinders. x

@anikomolnar9030 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your videos! ❤️ I’ve found your channel recently and it was just in the right time in my life...

@Beyourbest88 4 жыл бұрын

Please keep posting on KZfaq! I only just discovered you and am already so grateful! This is the best self- healing content out there. What you're saying makes so much sense and just feels 'right.' I feel like you're also coming from a very genuine place. It takes me a while to trust someone and think that they are legit/know what they are talking about-- but you I believe! And you're so open about your own experiences that I don't feel judged or belittled in any way. These videos are invaluable, thank you. I'll be passing them along to many others

@TheHolisticPsychologist 4 жыл бұрын

Hi! Having your trust means a lot to me so thank you for taking the time to affirm that here. I post a new video every sunday!

@Borboleta1212 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your amazing content, Dr Nicole! I relate to being a people-pleaser ...I’m 33 y.o and I’ve fallen in love with an amazing guy who was born in a different country, and a culture very different to my own. Although as people, I don’t feel we’re that different at all, and whenever I’m around him I feel extremely happy, relaxed and supported. I’ve told all my close friends , but I feel paralysed with anxiety about telling my Mum in particular, because she has a tendency to be incredibly critical, her moods and opinions in particular have always had such a strong influence on me. Then I feel really crappy for not having the courage, but it can feel almost impossible when your body becomes flooded with crippling anxiety and fight or flight emotions. I do feel I’m on a healing journey though, and your videos are so helpful in helping me gain understanding! Thank you! 💓

@deepei8572 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for creating this channel. I find your content to be very on-point and explains so much.

@melxu9796 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for clearly sharing the childhood and adulthood, so helpful 🙏🏼💜 thank you!!

@Dupilkac 4 жыл бұрын

One of the best, most informative videos I’ve watched!! THANK YOU!!

@hollyann3094 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing this! Your content is helping me immensely . I am looking forward to the next video on this topic 💜

@jerzegirl6797 4 жыл бұрын

So siblings could have had a different experience even though we all had the same caregiver ?

@strangeland4062 4 жыл бұрын

absolutely

@missjenn3963 4 жыл бұрын

Absolutely

@ennvee1989 4 жыл бұрын

Oh absolutely. I was treated differently than my 2 brothers so naturally we have different patterns in how we engage in relationships.

@MrAllysonn 4 жыл бұрын

Yes!!!!!

@MrSuperbluesky 4 жыл бұрын

Depends on denial levels

@23Jpro Жыл бұрын

I can’t believe this brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for explaining this to us out there that have gone through deep emotional trauma. My dad was and still is an alcoholic, narcissist who physically and emotionally abused my siblings and I. My mother was strong and fought for us and gave us our physical needs but did not aid me emotionally nor did she make me feel safe but only because she didn’t know how to as she had a very rough childhood herself. For years and even now I struggle from insecurities, feelings of abandonment, and so much anxiety that has caused me to harm relationships and hate myself. I am now seeing a therapist to help me work through all this so I destroy that toxic familial pattern once and for all.

@kasiaf7117 4 жыл бұрын

You are a beautiful person. Thank you for all you are doing. It’s magic❤️🌸🙏

@kylesweeney3059 2 ай бұрын

I'm re-parenting to secure. Currently it means self-discipline, emotional feeling, being around safer people, and assertiveness. Before it looked a lot like punishing myself for being bad.

@readingsbeyondtheveil4279 4 жыл бұрын

You are awesome Nicole...love all your teachings! Thank you for bringing your insight and healing to all of us! Happy New Year :-)

@XAudreyS 4 жыл бұрын

This video was great. You simplified this and made it easy to digest. I'm looking forward to the next videos.

@RecuperaciondeAtracones 3 жыл бұрын

Just bought your book! Yay! Excited!!!

@missgaegyan 4 жыл бұрын

This is something I have been through distorted parental attachment and Relationship with my parents and I healed my inner child all over again. 🤓

@MrCecily99 3 жыл бұрын

This is great video, help me a lot to understand me and my parents! Thank you 🙏🏻

@Serenity25th Жыл бұрын

I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu , you dont know how your teachings help me! because its not just psicology its spiritual wisdom too!!!

@humanityin1minute898 4 жыл бұрын

Dear Nicole, thank you so much for this video 😊🙏🏻 I believe this is a very important video in a public service sense because many people still wonder and don’t understand their patterns that have huge impact in their health and quality of life. On the other hand, I get another essential flag in this video and it is about self-compassion. While you perfectly explain this subject and as many people are getting it, I guess the video is producing self-compassion in those that listen to you. So, the final sensation in the end of the video may be of compassion and hope. 🙏🏻Thank you for your kindness in doing this video. Hugs 🤗🤗🤗

@KatieSelling 4 жыл бұрын

Really just want to say I'm so grateful of your online presence in my existence. You've also really evolved with both your delivery and your content. Your videos and pacing are so great! Congrats to all your success and how many of us you are helping heal.

@TheHolisticPsychologist 4 жыл бұрын

Hi! Really appreciate that. I’ve been practicing (and listening)

@britt7318 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your soul journey selections and sharing. It saved me.

@mayaragioz 4 жыл бұрын

Your content is so precious! Thanks from Brazil 💕

@kritanyaonzima6148 4 жыл бұрын

I can relate to almost everything that you've said. Thank you for this channel ❤️

@mitsymontebon9050 4 жыл бұрын

Wow.. suddenly reality hits me again:. I kept forgetting that i need to realize and accept that i was and still a victim of such relationship and I’m still clinging onto it instead of letting go.. thank you so much for this

@lisacoates4967 4 жыл бұрын

That’s the “era” of your mother... they lived through the War... I had a wonderful Grandmother who wasn’t hugely what would be classified “maternal” but she helped everyone and worked very hard to do it.