I about pissed myself when she started speaking Spanish.

"My dad heard it crying, I figure that might be how it breathes because it cries all the time"

HE'S DOING THE FINGER THING!

This is so hillarious because it's so fucked up at every level.

I think the spanish parts translate to: "Please, I need to find my family. Please. Please. I need..." "Please, my family must be very worried for me." "This boy is a monster. He treats me like a slave. Jesus, I need to go gack to my home."

This kid is such a good actor

they have no boundaries do they lol

Quick translation. She is pleading, "Please, please I have to go back to my family. Please I have to go back home." When they do the finger thing, she say (in an accusing tone) "This child........" Then she swats his hand/finger away in disgust. This is excellent satire.

I'm hilarious and I find this Hispanic

I’m an extraterrestrial and I find this hilarious

I can't believe they called her a brownie lmao

My Spanish classes paid off finally

"I wish it spoke more people language" XD

These two commentators have got to have the best jobs around. Just great!

Such a touching story, truly made me smile. Best of wishes to the pair.

This is one of The Onion's more wholesome videos.

Call me a radical, but I personally would not associate with anyone who doesn’t take to time to teach their dogs about our great founding fathers, and more specifically their mindsets when writing the constitution. Nothing’s worse than a dog that supports judicial activism.

The Onion literally ended racism by bashing every single race. I fucking love this channel

I was pretty worried there until I saw the government had this situation under control at the end there...

0:54-1:00 "please, please i need to find my family" 1:30 "please my family is worried about me" 2:00 "hes a monster!" 2:11 "I have to go home"

The actors from The Onion are just amazing

full translation: 0:52 - "help me please, i have to find my family. please- please, i have to find-" 1:28 - "please- my family, they must be really worried about me" 1:55 - "this kid! he's a monster! he treats me like a slave! oh, no- please- he's a-" 2:09 - "i have to get back home!" 2:20 - _prays_ 2:48 - "ahh, no! ah, ah, no! no, please! call the police! ah, ahhh, ahhh!"

I need to see a blooper reel of Today Now. This is just way too funny and I want to see how much they crack up and break character.

"Just like in the Movie!"

This is the funniest thing I've seen in years.

This skit had me asking my dog if she knew enough about our founding fathers.

The two hosts are absolute professionals, and always upbeat. 😂

I think there are some ET's just outside my house. They seem to be using some loud alien technology to farm the grass. That must be how they feed. Brb gonna go catch my own ET.

Ahahaha, one of my favorite Onion videos yet.

Just perfectly dissects the term "illegal alien" and the dehuminization of people from other parts of the world.

"It was supposed to make my bike fly but it just fell off" LOL!!!!

"Come right back after the break as well answer the important question: do our dogs know enough about our founding fathers?" I love their delivery and acting, as always

0:53 "please i need to find my family" 1:29 "my family must be ver Worried about me" 1:56" this kid is a monster, he treats me like a Slave" Lmao

I'm in Mexico right now an the government is storing thousands of them here

In Focus: Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T. Subscribe to The Onion's KZfaq Channel: bit.ly/xzrBUA

BEEP BOOP BOP BEEP

How are they not laughing lol I can barely get through this one😂😂😂😂😂

1:03 that's how I breathe 2

That's not an actress btw.

Sadly, the ET probably wouldn't have lived much longer on a diet of candy anyway

ESTE NIÑO ES UN MONSTRO

"He started breathing really hard after that!" LMAO!!! XD

The worst part is that she actually does resemble ET a bit.

"i guess we all learn'd a very valuable lesson about friendship today didn't we."

Im Hispanic and find this hilarious

My ribs hurt from laughing. Onion is an amazing channel.

That phone home genuinely hit me.

Oh my god. The Onion never, ever fails to be beyond brilliant. How the hell do they come up with things like this? The writing is simultaneously hilarious and very political accurate of U.S. treatment of foreigners. And the actors who play Jim Haggerty and Tracy Gill are just incredible.

The talking louder over her being sealed away and screaming 💀💀💀💀💀💀

"well we really learned a valuable lesson on friendship today didnt we"

HAHAHHAA "and now coming up - "DO our dogs know enough about our founding fathers?" :P

"He's a monster." "I want to go home."

Here you have an exact and accurate translation from Spanish (including when she is dragged by the men in yellow suits): "Please, I have to find my family. Please. Please. I have to..." "Please, my family must be very worried about me. I have to come back to them." "This boy is a monster. He treats me like a slave. Jesus, I have to go back to my home..." "No, Nooooo!....Please, call the police!"

This KZfaq channel makes me think that I've accidentally stumbled upon an alternate universe news broadcast, like the episode of rick and morty with the interdimentional tv

UGH the onion new network is so disgusting, you really crossed the line taking the ET away from its LOVING FRIEND to be examined by the authorities, we need to boycott the onion until they re-unite the boy and ET!

This is such a magical video! A wonderful heartwarming tale of a heroic boy and his monster friend.

And now it's when I get happy about understanding both English and Spani- I mean, E.T. language

I expected a different kind of alien when I raid Area 51

Please help me, I need to find my family, they must be worried. Then she says the child is a monster and treats her like a slave when he talks about taking her on a bike ride lol

wait for 10 years and this is more real than ever

This was the most hilarious thing I’ve seen recently, I couldn’t help but laugh and the twist at the end was genius

This s**t cracked me up, lol! It’s so messed up. It would’ve s**t my pants if the ET had yelled, “AY AY AY, LA MIGRA!!” when the folks in hazmat suits showed up

The first legal alien

I'm in Spanish 1 and I can basically hear "Please!" And "My family!" 😅

I miss being able to get the actual Onion newspaper for free. It was everywhere in Brooklyn then it just disappeared along with the Village Voice and Vice Magazine.

🤣😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 omg let me send this to my abuelita

It's a Spanish lady this is hilarious

0:34 is the best moment..."A wrinkled hunched up little brown E.T" LMFAO

This little boy is adorable

I hope ET gets back to it's home world

This is hilarious, the actors are brilliant, I don’t where The Onion did a marvellous job sourcing the characters and the scripting is always well done.

Tracy Gill's expression when Jim mentions dogs knowing about founding fathers... HILLARIOUS! xD

Oh My God! NOW I WANT MY OWN ET!

'Its doing the finger thing'. Haha. Never gets old.

lol that has to be one of the funniest ones

*"And this is where Duolingo started.."*

Love the show hosts, they're perfect.

We need The Onion back and a little more consistent. I'm back here in 2/12/22😂😂😂😂😂😂 Loved this when I was in college in 2009..

The difference between E.T. and this person is that E.T. wasn't illegal.

Have some more of your Reese’s pieces 😂😂

He’s got his own little goofball

How do they keep a straight face

This still brought a tear to my eye

Nah bro they wild for this one 😂

Translation "Help me please! I have to find my family! Please, please I have to..." "Please my family should be very worried about me!" "This boy is a monster! He treats me like a slave!" "I have to get home!"

Going to ask an important question, "Do our dogs know enough about our founding fathers?"

I like how it made up its own language just like ET haha.

0:46 he cuts her off haha classic

Omg that twist at the end was amazing

This would never be made today and frankly its sad. Just because a joke could be considered extremely offensive doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed to say it.

How had I never seen this one before? One of the best ones!

Any Onion video older than 10 years is a guaranteed banger.

"i guess we all learned a very important lesson about friendship"

I made sure my cat knows about John Adams

Oprah really let herself go..

Clearly a very good example of satire. Look at how many people took it at the face value. Well done Onion.

I always love the Today Now pieces. The one with the Boy Scouts is also very good.

These kids are amazing.

Tracy Gill’s look of wonder when “ET” starts talking absolutely kills me 0:55

A long time ago before i first adventured on youtube , there were Dark Times in wich i did not own a computer. One day as i was wandering in that weird and curious place called video store , as i approached one of the shelves ,i saw a curious DvD called ; The Onion Movie. I was so curious that i decided to take it, little did i know that i would laugh my ass off and almost fell off my chair a 1000 times during the movie. Since that day , The Onion is my only reliable source of fucked up info.