My parents kicked me out and locked the doors because I would not hand over 100% of my wages at age 15. If I have spoken 500 words to them in 22 years it's over doing it.

If you don’t want to pay for your kids college then don’t sign a loan. Once you do it’s your responsibility.

This is why you NEVER cosign, loan, or take out a loan for anyone especially family members. Relationships get destroyed over money.

“I’m not trying to be mean to you but she’s being mean to you.” One of the best quotes of all time

We wouldn’t be drinking hot coffee discussing that situation.

If this mother's new husband is trying to force her to go back on a promise she made to her 18-year-old daughter, then he's probably not worth having around anyway.

Mom guilt trips her after step dad guilt trips mom. Mom should have been happy to pay it considering she got an inheritance. No struggle.

My son asked if I could cosign for a student loan for his current education once. This is AFTER he botched his FIRST university education. The train doesn't turn around to pick up stragglers. The word is "NO." I have been watching on the sidelines and he is doing an amazing job creating a budget, managing his money and being responsible for HIMSELF.

Dave's honesty is just so refreshing!

This is about an agreement. You don't make an offer then change the agreement as you please. Your word has to have truth on it. Her mother is irresponsible. First she made the agreement without her husband knowing, then she broke the agreement. Her mother must grow up and learn a lesson.

Man, I'd love to hear a follow up on this and so many other stories! I really hope she had the guts to stand up to her mom and stepdad!!

And with heavy breath he told her, “Stand up and walk out” 😂😂

Im an avid Dave Ramsay listener now.. this youtube channel is my new radio... i have learned so much.. you have inspired me to do better with my finances.. God bless you more!!

I’m a high school drop out and paid for my daughters college and masters degree With me credit card !! When I give my word it is my word. Now I have no cc balance

Sounds something similar to my son's education. His mom agreed to pay 1/2 of our son's college. She did this for a while, once my name was the dorm lease with him she decided she wasn't paying another cent , and never did. I paid it all myself. This is the same woman that took her step dad to the bank ( he had medical problems that turned a healthy 67 year old into a 5 year old mentally) She had him sign a loan against his house so she could pay off credit cards that she had ran up behind my back. Keep in mind, she moved in my house, I paid all living expenses, she bought clothes and about 60% of the groceries, nothing else! The divorce was crazy expensive, but worth every cent!

Great advice dave , that’s why I like you, you always tell it like it is. 👌

"YOU'RE BEING ABUSED" And no commercials? I dont understand why anyone pays for cable anymore. Not when we have the Dave Ramsey show!🔥🔥💗🙏 Love this man and his ethics

I like how Dave always stays patient in determining the answer, especially with regard to this subject

I think there's far more going on here. The mother was willing to keep her end of the agreement until the step-father said no. Even then, the mother *snuck money* to the daughter for another month unbeknownst to the step-father. The step-father is an abuser and the mother is scared of him.

The kid is paying half the loan on agreement. Step Dad better be glad mom is getting the other half. What a piece of work this step dad is

Dave. Could we get some follow up videos please? I would love to hear how some of these situations ended up. Just a video once in a while with a few people coming back on the air so we can hear how things worked out for people for better or for worse. That would be great.

The stepdad is the problem

And Mom inherited money too!

Love it when Dave is like this. He’s right.

People keep ringing in for relationship and personal advice!

Do not sign or cosign for any loans for anyone. When I went to college, I had no job and still got student loans in my own name. So I assume they give them to just about anyone. When I got out of school I had them all paid off in 5 years. If I was the mom I would pay it back because that is my child and that is what I agreed too. But then again I keep my word and do what I say I am going to do. None of this falls on the daughter. I think dave gave her great advice but unfortunately if she doesn't want to hear this from her mother until the day she dies the daughter may just want to go ahead and pay it and learn a lesson. The lesson is you can't depend on other people. Not even your parents. You have got to depend on yourself. And just make yourself a mental note that you can't trust your mom's word and to never sign or cosign or loan your mom any money. I will tell you what I told someone years ago that complained to me about someone not paying them back. I told them to only loan money they are willing to loose.

It is one of the hardest things to do, standing up to your parent(s) when they are wrong. You have to do it, though. It breaks your adult mind free of being a subordinate child to them in the eyes of both parties.

My daughter got herself into $10,000 debt to a credit card and could not make the payments because of the 20%. Interest rate. I put up a cd as+collateral so she could get a personal loan at 7%. It took her forever to pay it off. She said making the payment every month was awful. She had no memory of what she had even spent it on. She is now,the most sensible with spending money. I,am proud of her. I could have paid it for her but this way she actually learned something.

The best advice to the daughter 😊

Loved watching, thanks for the share!

When you put a man that makes you break your word over your daughter

This kind of attitude of parents is absolutely unacceptable and frankly disgusting.

Earn 1% cash back on guilt trip miles

She might do well to let her husband play the heavy on this one. If it's her stepdad that's prohibiting her mom from paying, then she can ask her husband to prohibit her from paying. Even if it means that he never speaks to his in-laws again, I doubt he'd be too heartbroken about it.

You pay it yourself and ask nothing from them again. Somethings you do for your sanity and soul.

As I listened to this talk that Dave had with this woman it makes me very fortunate that when I went through my divorce all I had left over was debt so my parents and I did a debt consolidation loan my parents took out a loan on a car that they already owned and my mom took out a small Signature Loan and I was able to pay off my debt and then I was able to pay off the debt that I co-signed with my parents after a year and six months. My parents definitely know what boundaries are cuz right now I currently get SSI because of a health disability and being able to just simply say hey Mom I need money for this is truly a blessing because she doesn't ask what it's for. my parents know what boundaries are it's very clear that the parents of this woman do not.

He talks like my therapist when I explain why I am still in a marriage with a man that isn't that bad of a person but really isn't good for me and makes me bitter, angry, anxious, and unhappy. So direct. So to-the-point. And overwhelming logical.

Dave your so wise and articulate⭐️

I love when he calls them “honey” -it’s just so fatherly 💕

That was very good Dave

Good job taking a hard situation and breaking it down! I love your show!!

I'm tearing up a little, I can't imagine how hard a situation like this would be. Leave money out of your family relationships, it's not doing any good.

If the loan was for something that benefited your mother, I would 100% agree with Dave, but this is a little more complicated than that. If you have the ability to pay for your own education (you're 28 now and have been making the payments just fine), then do the right thing, be a self-reliant adult, and pay for your own college education. Your mother has sacrificed a lot for you throughout your life and clearly wanted to help you get a higher education. She is now in a tough situation with her own marriage, and you are in a position to help her out by doing the responsible thing and offering to pay for your own education. She never owed you that. Fighting over the money with her and her husband is going to ruin your relationship in a way that is not worth it. I hope you didn't take Dave's advice.

There might be a difference in how more privileged people approach these situations. 😂 My mom took out loans for my education, but it was pretty much understood from my freshman year of college that I would be the one paying them off when I graduated. My 18-19 year old self reassured her about that too. My parents were barely getting by as is. And it was MY education after all. I was just grateful she had decent enough credit to get the loans.

Excellent advice

I live for when Dave goes: "Am I missing something" after harshly summarizing what the caller told him to make them realize just how f*cked the situation is 😭😅

I can’t believe parents can do this to kids ... my lovely dad who is no more now paid my student loan almost 40k and never ever asked me to pay a single dollar ... once I started earning I gave him some money back and all he did was investing on my name ... this is what I call parents... and I guess most of the parents should be like this only

This is exactly why I never ever co-sign or sign loans for anyone. I don’t care who it is. If she wanted to go to college, she should have signed for that loan by herself.

Basically, keep paying your half according to the agreement until you’ve paid off half of it minus interest. It doesn’t matter if she pays her half or not. All principle and all interest is her own responsibility.

people have become so greedy, when we used to buy my grandparents a christmas present for example , they got mad, why , they said spend on the kids, and you shount be spending the money on us, why cant we get back to those times ?

1:30 that ok by the lady is the funniest :D

Dave do you ever do follow up shows with the callers? I’d love to hear from this lady again about how it worked out.

Harsh but honest. Shine up the spine.

If they foam at the mouth.. Dave kills me sometimes.🤣

People should learn that family relationships get ruined over money. Dont do business with family and friends. Just don't do it. Its a very hurtful and difficult lesson to learn. Dont walk those shoes if you can run for the hills!

Notice how she slid that sentence in there "we had NO savings for my college". She's clearly already disapointed of that fact. I would be too. The real point of this is, the irresponsibility of her parents. Idc if he's not her biological dad. He married a woman who has a child that she was still responsibile for, he knew that and her mother knew that her daughter eventually needed to go to college in order to further her education. The whole family neither had a plan nor cared enough about this. A very bad family dynamic. The good part is, the daughter might be the one to do much better with her own kids since her parents are both losers.

Ramsey don’t play!! 😆😆😆😆

Did stepdad not know about this loan? Did it happen before he married Mom?

it's a family thing .one way is I'll help you get an education but if somewhere down the road you come into a large sum of money you need to pay it all back so she free and clear of the loan also. Mom should have made her get a loan on her name by herself

When parents brainwash their kids into thinking they owe their parents something. 🙄

Mom must have felt some guilt too when the loans were taken out. Not having saved for her college (which is optional!) Tough all around, but Mom has to pay her agreement.

I agree with David 100%

How sad. I am the one encouraging and she did my daughter to go to Carnegie Mellon engineering school and she did with the agreement that I would or my hubby and I are going to pay the student loan. I transfer money into her acct to pay her loan. It is a disgrace to say you are going to do something and not doing it is terrible. Shameful. To not help your kids is selfish unless they are bums. I have helped all my kids and not failed them more importantly, I did not disappoint myself and have my integrity.

Mommie needs to put on her big girl pants and pay HER debt like an adult.

The dog pooping in your yard classic example, only Americans think that's normal to do. In other countries that's an absolute insult, intentionally OR NOT.

Would you be able to trust your own mother if she broke an agreement like this..going forward? I doubt most would.

In these cases, sit down with all parties, take out the iPad and play this episode to them so you Need not churn emotionally trying to explain the problems.

They live ten minutes from her mother? That's a big problem. I had an uncle who never moved out of his mothers neighborhood and he never did become an independent adult.

Don’t ever get student loans in your name for your child. It’s called Parent Plus.

If this loan was for the daughter's education, SHE should be paying it off, not the mother. It made it easier for the daughter to go to college. I had to pay for all of my own college and worked FULL time to make it happen. It wasn't easy but when you're young, you can go without sleep for days!!

what answer did this girl want.... she knew what dave was gonna say lol

Better than watching Judge Judy!

This title is incorrect - I mean, I know they’re naming it what it is because that’s the words of the caller - but it truly should be “I’m allowing my mother to guilt me into paying her loan.”

I don't think a conversation is the best way. I am thinking this should also be written down so there is no room for miscommunication. If the mom and stepdad are tight for money they are guilting the daughter into financing their life. Now, if money is no problem, then the stepdad is being an idiot.

*Blood is thicker than water... but so is quicksand.* Enforce boundaries with others-including family-for your safety, sanity, and the overall health of the relationship.

I had the impression that to date the daughter has been paying 50% of each payment on the Mother's loan as per their agreement. That isn't the same thing as having paid her 50% of the total loan as Dave kept saying. He kept saying she paid her half but that doesn't make sense.

Get everything in writing and notarized

Her parents are very selfish. It seems there is more to the story than being told, maybe the daughter doesn't know about. It seems like the Step-Jerk-Father is in full control over her mother. Another sad part is that you can hear this lady's child in the background, she has her own kid or kids to take care of. Her Parents are not living up to their responsibility and putting more weight on her.

If I'd known that the money my mom signed me up for student loans. Idk if I'd gone to school since I couldn't afford. I would love to know where my share of my dads dependent education fund went. As I didnt get any of it. Military dependents get free college. Nope not me..

What if Ramsey solutions came up with a form as part of FPU or another of their programs that parents and their children could fill out with written agreements about college money help?

Glad im smart and told my daughter flat out NOPE!!! Im not even going to think about it.. Then when im older ill have debt calling..NOPE AGAIN

I don't have any kids so far and i am 23 , i wonder what my mother got in return for raising me and paying my whole education journey ? Also why i should pay for my childs higher education ? Instead just let him choose between student loan or hardwork for scholarship or just get a job. Or just don't have child at all.

I don’t really agree because I am paying for all of my college. I don’t feel like I’m entitled to my parents money for my education.

I'm sorry but I don't agree with Dave on this one...if mom didn't sign up for the loan I would bet anything that she wouldn't be able to go to college ...mom did her a favor...not everyone is in a position to save for college so the loan was an only option at the time ...I would never let my parents pay for me and I would pay every cent of it back...they are your parents and they did what a parent should do ..help ..but if they are struggling you should pay all of it back...I don't agree with Dave ..$9k is not worth losing your family over..it seems to me that to Dave it's all about money even if it means cutting ties with your own family

I am in a similar situation but my brother cosigned on the loan and now his credit score is hurting because our mom said she would never pay a cent of the loan. I was paying her my half until I found out that she was taking the cash I have been giving her for the loan. I started paying it back recently to help my brother out but because it wasn't paid for years the amount has grown to more than $35,000 which is way more than the original loan was taken out for. I'm not sure if I am doing the right thing in paying it back and I know it will take a while for me to do so. Any outside advice would be appreciated.

The amount of people who are adults and still scared of their parents is nuts

She won't pay the parent plus loan? I've always thrown the debt at me. It's a co-sign for a loan for YOUR college.

I would put all this in writing and give both parents copies and then leave.

Her mom obviously didn’t discuss this with the step dad and now got in trouble but that’s her moms marriage issue.. she should have discussed it first with him.

My life

This is an older video but, sounded like I heard a baby in the background, too. Too bad she can’t tell her parents that they’re also responsible for paying off whatever excess over that half that she paid, instead of her mother, is also due back to her but, she has no legal chance of recovering that probably.

She's a nice girl. Sorry to hear she's being taken advantage of.

This is all about how u grew up imo. I personally would never ask my parents to pay for my college. That’s just me. Now the people that are lucky enough to have their parents sign their loan, I feel bad for them, but they have to pay it I guess. I mean it’s on her name anyway so why do you care 🤷🏽‍♀️. My stepmom son is going thru the same thing she owes 56k for his college smh and he can’t even get a job w his degree. I was raised that after high school you get a job go to school and pay your own way. But this is America where kids are 100% spoiled and tell their parents to pay their schooling lol it’s crazy.

She is not going to do that. That will destroy the relationship with her mom.

Sounds like my mother - loved controlling everything.

That’s tough! I know it’s not easy to make your parents pay the bill but yea they can’t say something then flip flop

There is already a problem in the relationship. No point working hard in a relationship the other doesn’t care about. I mean it’s only $8k. Uber hard for a couple months.

This is why my son already knows at the age of 8 that I’m not paying for his college.

She should have asked the stepdad about the situation

Galatians 6:5 enough said.