I did the step father thing..after the divorce..she did not let the kids talk to me..I raised them for 10 years..luckily now that they are adults we have all reconnected. They realize what their mother had done..looking back on it. I wouldn’t do it again and I would advise any man not too. Start your own legacy.

For a man that been through that step dad role. It’s not worth it men…

When my mom failed as a wife, the men in my mom's family and my paternal grandfather took me in. If anyone "should" raise another man's child, it should be people who are related by blood. Don't put that responsibility on an unrelated man.

Whether you're a stepdad, a real dad or don't have any kids at all, being a man is a thankless existence. Especially these days.

I read a quote that argues that single mothers are dating guys they normally wouldn't deal with if she didn't have a child. Just think about the times you were ghosted for months/years, and then she calls you with a baby crying in the background

Currently doing the stepdad thing and I wouldn’t recommend it fellas 🤦🏾‍♂️ 9yrs and the dad decided to come back around and man the disrespect is crazy I had the realization that I’m not her father but I have the responsibility of taking care of her while he gets all the love and respect it’s hard

Us men without children don’t give a damn good luck ladies yall know everything and we can’t tell yall shit 😂

Keisha only wants Pookie. Good Men get Used. That's the truth.

"Build your own family. Stay away from readymade families". -- Confucius (500 BC) Translated to plain English: STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM SINGLE MOTHERS.

Being a step parent is a thankless and under appreciated job period.

“Step crash dummy.” 😂😂

How about apologizing to your kids for trying to raise them with a man that’s not their biological father. Would be a great start

I rather start my own legacy

As a woman I don't wanna be a stepmom either. I would love to experience parenthood with someone who it's their first time too.

I’m thankful that my dad helped to raise me. I wasn’t biologically his but he made my life better. I’m turning 50 and eternally grateful.

If a woman asks me if I want to be a stepdad to her child, I’ll respectfully answer that question to my following question: like “would you want your son to be a stepdad?” And she says NO, and I said Why? And she says “because I want her son to have a family of his own.” And I said in that response: THAT’S WHY. I have a mother and a father myself who wants me to have a family of my own too. 💯🏆

This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

God help the kids growing up today. Most are raised by single women with no life or parenting skills.

I had to fast forward to the truth smh these women always got a story

100 % agree there is no benefit in being a stepfather at all especially with a broken woman who is not over performing in all other aspects of her life, it’s almost impossible for these modern women to add true value and meet a real man’s needs as he would reciprocate to her

my father and mom got divorced. My dad went on to meet a woman who left her husband and came to the marriage with 2 young boys under 6. My father came up, and put those boys in luxary upper middle class NYC suburbs, private school, AAU teams and college while under his roof. Today me and my step brothers are in our late 40s. They speak to my father about 4-6 times per year.. All the overtime put in to pay mortgage, and he gets not the respect from the children under his roof that he should. The wife respects him, but raising another mans kids didnt give dad the effort he put INTO it

A man with “options” never chooses the single mom. “All men know this.”

My dad raised another man's kids since they were babies...they act like they don't even know him now since he divorced their mom

It’s even crazier there are men who willingly choose to share his family with another man the weirdest thing to me. I have no problem looking out for no kids but I’m not sharing my family with another man. Women need to make sure they’re married before having children because expecting another man to take care of another man’s seed is insane to me

😂😂😂 " Bonus Dads " is crazy thts all you need too know to not ever be one

Completely depends on your maturity level, the maturity level of the woman, and your attitude towards being a Father and a Husband. My grandfather married my grandmother when she had TWO children. I know women who have married and had children with a second husband and are very happy. Totally depends on the maturity level of everyone involved.

My ex had 3 kids, I had none, come to find out her bd was living his best life, never around. She was grateful for the kids, while putting responsibility on me, I ditched her and still have no kids. I can make my family, and not bother with another man's seed.

Don't ever, ever, ever be a step dad to any woman's kids if that man is still alive.

There was a time when women respected men who picked up the pieces. Now the ladies demand that from men without giving them respect, love, or adoration. It’s a fools game to play step dad.

Single mothers are always a bad bet.

Step dad,means you are there to be stepped on! No benefit!

20 yrs ago to be exact, I married a woman with 2 young boys by the same father. Before her, I was the type man who never took a woman with kids seriously. But, she was different we fell in love and the kids were great. I was ready to stop sleeping around and running the streets. The whole family life felt good, she cooked, cleaned and always ready for sex. But, soon after getting married my business started slowing down because of the economy. She starts acting different. Long story short we moved to Atlanta and divorced shortly after getting there. I would not ever recommend marrying a woman with multiple children. There’s probably going to be issues with the baby father. You will spend money on them, all the time. They have to eat and they need things.

That's the problem. Everybody always doing things out of trying to benefit

It’s the same. Being a step mom or a step dad has no benefits. Don’t do it. ESPECIALLY if you have no kids.

In this current western society, there is no win situation of becoming a step father. Alot has to change

I'm so very glad that my Father, who is my stepfather, didn't believe this way; Because he is my everything and he never allowed anybody to refer to me as his stepdaughter. It opened up the door for me to be the amazing stepmother I am to twin boys for the last 12 years. My mother marrying well Opened up the door for me to watch her go from being a single mom to domesticated. It was a beautiful thing to watch and now I myself have the same thing. Loook AT GOD💯🙏🏼

I partially agree. There is often no Earthly benefit to being a stepfather (not speaking from personal experience, just observation of close friends). But there is a definite spiritual/heavenly benefit. Taking in and caring for the fatherless is seen as something precious in His eyes. Isiaiah 58:7-11. Probably outside the scope of this discussion but worth a mention IMO.

Im a stepfather now and my wife has two different baby daddies and they don't anything for their kids and she cant have kids and i go back and forth with my feelings sometimes because i really want my own kids but she is a great wife its just i wish i could have my own legacy im 33 now and i feel like I'm running outta time.....if you reading this have your own kids and be there for them, raising another mans children issa emotional rollercoaster

When I talk you know I can go there. Yup that’s Bw for

Pick a good father the 1st time

I’d rather eat a shoe

I hurt for those unsuccessful experiences that individuals endure as a step parent. It is not for the weak and takes mental fortitude to understand at its inception that it has a high failure rate. But the success yields tremendous rewards. ✊🏾

What they wont admit, is that the reason younger generation of women dont want to be alone is because they don't want to fall into the same trap mama did being strong and independent.

STEP CRASH DUMMIES IS…CRAZYYYYY WORK!!😳🤣😢😂🔥🔥

The first woman who spoke is an example of the women who lack emotional intelligence and the ability to take accountability. She appears to take accountability but she isn’t actually taking accountability because she made the statement - no matter what you do kids will think it’s toxic but that isn’t true. Raise a child in the way they should go and they will. She a single mother - that ruins kids. It ain’t about kids thinking something is toxic it’s much deeper when you don’t provide two parents for kids.

“Step-Crash-Dummy”…100% spot on Anton! I’m gonna start using that phrase.

Why pickup and be a stepfather. Its not your responsibility, why come in and takeover what he left. No man should be a stepfather.

Most single moms don't even appreciate when a man takes on that responsibility so why should we even help ungrateful entitled individuals.

I scanned the comments and saw no one mention loving the child as a reason. No one :( I cry for the children.

No man should ever step in anything in a child’s life without first observing the single mother and how she coexist with a single father, that will tell him everything he need to know whether he should stay or go

The word toxic gets thrown around to freely.

Coming from being a step dad more than a real father. Anton is right. Black man establish your own family frfr. Right now black man should NOT be a step dad. Stop listening to these single mamas curse you because you dont want and need that title. Your not a man until you have your OWN flock. Black boys listen, watch, dont talk just learn. Until we eradicate this problem boys should learn from positive men. Definitely not single moms in my opinion.

Fellas do you wanna play another man’s my career account? You dropping 30 and that’s not even your face scan 😂.

There are plenty of benefits, just none for the stepdad. Don't do it.

I have two step kids, and that absolutely has not been my experience.

I'm so sick of chicks online saying the words heal/trama

To each their own. There are many thankful and greatful kids/adults who were raised by a none biological parent, and that person has plenty to benefit from respectfully. But yet, a lot of men be out here playing step daddy and barely do or take time out with their own.

Now ladies, before u keep hollering " im not your momma" understand something.. Cooking, cleaning and etc doesn't mean your his Momma.. but if u think it does then let's flip it... U got your own money so why does a man need to pay your bills,buy u gifts, take care of u, spend his money and live in a house he paid for rent free and bills Free.. he's not your Daddy...

I’m so grateful my step father didn’t catch these episodes before meeting my mom. 21 years in, He is the best thing ever happened to us. Even at 35, when I have a long day I call my Papa. My birth dad is always the last option. I adore him to the highest. I even told my mom if they ever God forbid got a divorce, I’m going with him lol.

I see the point about stepdads not being appreciated. Helped raise step daughter since 5, she 33 now and one of my best friends Key word helped raise. Her mother did her part financially and handled being the disciplinarian of her. She is a step mom to my 32 year old son. We lived together for 20 plus years till they were grown and gone. Me and wife never thought it would work honestly. But it did. But God. They introduce them as brother and sister, not step like they do me and wife. Lucky cause boy and girl same age. Yall know the thoughts. Some thinking it now lol 😂

There is no benefit in raising another woman’s child either. Being a step parent in general is not beneficial.

1:20 moms #1 rule. Was. When you walk out this house you dont make me look bad... She was supposed to apologize for that?? Discipline?? Kept me out the pen.

Why would you have a kid with a man that doesn't want kid in the first place !!!??????? that is HELL for the kid !! growing up with random men on mummy's bed

All facts never waste your time on this earth putting your time and resources into someone else children besides yours

My ex had a baby that I still raise, but she makes it super easy for me to see her and be a real parent. I don't pay child support or alimony from our divorce, but I realize that I got lucky. Most women would try to make me pay for trying to be a good man, so I don't advise being a stepdad. It could easily go the other way.

Unless you're an abusive parent, you have nothing to apologize to your child for. They need to realize, just like you , nobody's perfect.

There is a benefit if you pick the right one. We can't say we are for the better benefit for our community and leave kids fatherless just to make a point. In my opinion

A man raising another man's kids is like paying another man's debt.👀🍿☕️

Im surprised this conversation stayed civil. Bravo to the women for checking thier emotions and speaking rationally.

The term " Bonus Dad " is a travesty. Like you get bonus points for every Baby Daddy you rack up. Just another way of normalizing bad behavior. Should be called Minus Dad, cuz you really losing points not gaining any.

Don’t do guys !!! Once they get older you forgotten in my opinion….

All this talk, nothing but talking, from one channel to “black town hall meetings about relationships” nothing but talking and these women and men ain’t accomplish nothing.

Facts. Many parents can't admit they screwed up. Then they double down and keep doing it. 😢

I have been a step parent and looking back now realized I wasted time and resources. In addition to the kids being unappreciative once they got older men don’t do it read some literature reconsider dam how I would have love for someone to give me real advice

There is absolutely no glory in being a step father💯 and being a step mother in a rich man's life if a whole nother story tho!!

I know I would not do it just because these kids they will not respect you My uncle was an step dad And I saw the these kids disrespect him. And I told him why be a step dad for what? these kids are not yours

Its about time men are asking "how do we as men benefit from your plan, ma'am" and women don't even have an answer. You'll be a fool to invest in that one

A man should not be so insecure that a child is a threat to his existence.

Anton Daniels aka Mr. Potato Head F-in Clown!

A whole lot of nothing be said here. 😒

She made an excellent point @4:28. The way you treat your kids is what they will end up expecting from other people. Stay Focused!

in my 30 years of living on this earth i've never seen a happy ending to being a step dad. Step crash dummy is a great name for those to choose that life

It's not a matter of an inability to "handle" a woman with a hood mentality. Nobody in their right mind WANTS to have to "handle" anyone or their attitude. It's just not desirable. I disagree with Anton on this "step crash dad dummies" or whatever phrase he uses. It isn't a 0 positive game, it's a game that absolutely does have a lot of risks and downsides, BUT, it is also something that can work and be beneficial to all parties if the ground rules and an understanding are set from the get go by people that have their heads on right. Obviously, you're not going to have a high success rate with a Pookie and a Bomqueesha as the parents, but, as the lady on the panel stated, when she let the man be a man and show guidance to the boy, things worked out. That understanding has to be there for things to work, and you certainly develop a strong bond between step parents and children.

Say no to single moms

No, too many women out here without kids to be a stepdad.

“Anton…Anton…”👏🏾💯 If real words could be said any better…..😇

The lady in the cap. I have no idea what she actually looks like.

Anton stood on business

Great interview Anton. Good wisdom being spoken on both sides. It is good to see these ladies waking up to the reality of some of their mistakes. It’s late for them but really encouraging to see.

Did it once and I’ll never do that shit again especially when they have daughters. You have to realize, no matter how good a step father you are, the kids will always want that love from the biological father. He can be out of their life for 10 yrs and show up with a puppy and it’ll be like he was never gone

Being a stepdad is nobody's goal....because it's a thankless job!

This is nasty work….

I'm reading all these step dad horror stories... All I can say is "sorry for your pain'. I never experienced any of that in either of my marriages with any of my step kids.

Anton is correct. StepFathers in our culture should not be accepted by our culture as a majority backup plan for failed relationships. Since only Fathers can truly protect children physically in any capacity. And StepFathers KNOW THAT ...Like inviting a Wolf to live with your sheep and the woman is more sheep than a wolf at her very best physically to a man.... see Glendon Campbell when he spoke with The Lead Attorney and Anton Daniels.

Being a stepdad IS a thankless job....can't do it...

Step Baby Daddy 6:20 😂😂

Everybody has their own experience good or bad on the step parent tip. I am a product of that. My step father came into my life when I was 9 and my lil bro was 6, he passed when I was 24. Even tho shit was fucked up growing up, him and my mother both on drugs, We always stuck together until things got better ,home to home , shelter to shelter he made sure we was safe.They eventually got it right. I thought I would grow to hate my folks cuz of how hard we had it but when I look back at that shit, cuz ain’t never fold on my mother and I watched them bring eachother back to life. I’m 31 now about to have my first child and I wish he was here.

Women should not get offended by the step dad comment. It’s reality. Most kids will want their real parent even if they don’t love them and most men want their child raised a certain way. You can’t do that as a step dad most of the time.

Go back to the father and leave me out of it.

Taking care of anyone else’s kids is not beneficial for women or men.