We discuss the term “struggle love,” which is the "ride or die" mentality of a woman who gets into the habit of dating men who can’t get their life together. Real fam, have you ever been guilty of this?
Пікірлер: 346
@GS__5 жыл бұрын
Tamera's whole look is ON POINT. The hair, the burgundy and gold....yassss! That is your color, Tamera. 😃
@zan65175 жыл бұрын
JEANNIE SHOULD START A TED TALK OR ONLINE TV SHOW! She's so wise and well spoken and filled with great advise! LOVE YOU JEANNIE!!!
@jess_a_yo5 жыл бұрын
zan de wee she has her person YT channel. 'jeanniemai'
@JosiePosieWosie0125 жыл бұрын
@@jess_a_yo Are you sure? The only one that she seems to have is called TheMaiTube and she hasn't uploaded a video in over a year.
@jess_a_yo5 жыл бұрын
Josie yeah, that's the one
@zan65175 жыл бұрын
@@jess_a_yo I saw but its pretty old and I feel like this NEWER BOMB CONFIDENT SINGLE Jeannie is a whole NEW LEVEL
@msmarisol145 жыл бұрын
She's the one who I always agree with because she has a way with words. Love her! She's should do KZfaq like Adrienne.
@teetotal26815 жыл бұрын
Dr. Tamera, Evangelist Adrienne, Pastor Jeannie and Apostle Loni on planting yourself in the right environment crusade, only on the Real!
@teetotal26815 жыл бұрын
Sorry, I just saw this. It says I AM is two of the most powerful words. For what you put after them shapes your reality x@M Muss
@isanaallday97445 жыл бұрын
😊
@middleofsomewhere4445 жыл бұрын
🙌
@KatieAJ2 жыл бұрын
Lol why are you calling them that?Are they talking about God?
@tripsyjellyfish23285 жыл бұрын
I need more of this.. like an entire podcast of this 😂😂😂
@faizasaeed10005 жыл бұрын
Fruit gipsy i thought the same
@azuremind20595 жыл бұрын
I just left an 8 year relationship. Was with the guy since I was 16 years old!! It was a STRUGGLE. I was completely co-depandant and my therapist says that I was Trauma Bonded. SO GLAD I got out of it. I am now happy & single! Living life alone, doesn't mean I'm lonely! Love you ladies
@fromspace75 жыл бұрын
I've been there too, I know it hurts like hell at first, but trust me you WILL heal completely and be so happy you did it!!
@jesuslovesyouall36435 жыл бұрын
Welcome back, so glad i left early aftr 2 yrs of struggling
@jenniferatlet62385 жыл бұрын
Hey love, may I ask what was the struggle? What were the signs for you? Thank you and I'm really happy for you and your new happiness ❤️
@margaux__alexx5 жыл бұрын
Azure Mind Wow 8 years! I’m over here struggling trying to let go of 4. You are truly a motivation and I can’t wait to get to where you are now.
@hopefitzpatrick69825 жыл бұрын
Azure Mind You go girl
@add-a-line65205 жыл бұрын
The REAL is always dropping Knowledge!!! You Know better... You do better!
@zora99ny5 жыл бұрын
Jeannie is so wise. That flower/environment metaphor is so true
@cau18645 жыл бұрын
"Theres a difference between what you want and what you really need in a relationship"
@LittleMissMiracle5 жыл бұрын
*snaps* Tamera spoke some knowledge. I loved this segment
@NotYourVampiree5 жыл бұрын
We as women all need to realize that we aren't rehabilitation centers for badly raised men nor shelters for men who are lost & need fixing. We accept the love we think we deserve. Remember ladies you deserve the exact love you give.
@loveystar78cloud465 жыл бұрын
THANK YOU!!!! We need to stop trying to make up for where every other woman, including his momma, messed up. That's not our job. Our job as women is to nurture children(if you choose to have them), not emotionally underdeveloped men. That's why therapist exist.
@marissar.3595 жыл бұрын
Also, it's important that as women we do not sit around whining about how we deserve so much more but never making moves to get more. We can't guilt trip people into treating us right. Sometimes you just need to move on.
@Drfeelinu5 жыл бұрын
I agree with Loni. Online dating has creeps and can be very dangerous but there’s SO much variety of men. Be careful ladies when you date online
@thehoneyeffect5 жыл бұрын
oldsoul same deal when you meet them in real life. You can only control you.
@ceciliadoloresroberts12435 жыл бұрын
I have met a few guys online and some of them was decent and the other ones was creeps for real
@Drfeelinu5 жыл бұрын
thehoneyeffect that’s true, but I’d hope you can agree, logically, that online dating is more risky/dangerous
@dex57275 жыл бұрын
*two halves don't make a whole, two wholes make a great team* 👌🏽
@vanickkam12555 жыл бұрын
Almost 5mins of amazing convo. I relate to struggle love and co-dependency. Please more of this.
@bravoxjuniour67465 жыл бұрын
This is the the real talk
@shareenaovermeyer81105 жыл бұрын
At 28 I got my self out of a 11 year struggle love... slowly getting my self love right. Making small moves and changes for the better
@meliciafrancisco62565 жыл бұрын
You got this gurl, dont lower your standers... Love yourself, if you got great friends and a good family you Will be a happy person and the right person Will follow 💕💕😘wish you the best
@Zohat115 жыл бұрын
Shareena Overmeyer sending good energy your way love. 🙌🏽
@berliniu92095 жыл бұрын
See how God works. I really, really needed to hear all of this. And it actually has nothing to do with my relationship - I’ve finally found someone who is amazing and treats me like a queen but sometimes I find that I don’t value myself, I don’t take care of myself and feel stuck in certain areas of my life and this is important. What Jeannie said really spoke to me about the environment and being able to be strong enough to uproot. Thank you ladies. This is the lengthiest comment I’ve ever left. #NumberOneFan
@BogusBozo5 жыл бұрын
Amen.
@nicoleavery72385 жыл бұрын
It’s not god it’s just life 😂
@JerubbaalgodSlayer5 жыл бұрын
@@nicoleavery7238 if she thinks it's God, who is anyone to tell her differently?
@michelleabraham63995 жыл бұрын
I love the saying of 2 wholes makes a great team!! Love love love ladies 💕
@isanaallday97445 жыл бұрын
I love that
@Ugogirlz3025 жыл бұрын
Sometimes the person you have to break up with is your old self.
@dionnep55715 жыл бұрын
yep!!!
@glenaldothompson7174 жыл бұрын
I agree thanks for that I really needed to hear it. How do you do it though.
@bluechicka1285 жыл бұрын
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Jeannie really needs her own talk show, that woman is so wise and insightful it’s insane
@flamingo22505 жыл бұрын
Jeannie needs to write a book of analogies.. She's deep and meaningful
@sweatslaysparkle78695 жыл бұрын
I dated a total user, abuser and loser for so long. He had no car, no job, 2 kids, but he gave me such great lip service that I felt as if he needed someone to show him compassion. I wanted to step up to the plate and show him he was worthy of love. I said yes for so long that when I finally started saying no, he couldnt handle it. After 3.5 years, I'm finally done with him. He will continue to use and abuse women for his own benefit until the day he dies. It doesn't have to be something I put up with any longer.
@BahamianMasterpiece5 жыл бұрын
Powerful!!! Where's the love button?!
@Xoxo_Aussie5 жыл бұрын
Jeannie had me snapping my fingers with the whole flower quote! We need more of these conversations!
@MajesticMyronn5 жыл бұрын
I agree with Tam ! I feel like we have to be fair in a relationship and also look at the fact that just because my partner isn’t perfect doesn’t mean I am and we should own that ! If you’re sitting here just saying “ my partner doesn’t ... & ... “ what do you do , how bout that ?!?! Look at yourself FIRST before u decide to throw stones and hide your hands ! We all have flaws
@blahblah87955 жыл бұрын
Finally someone with some sense...I'm 19 and when I started dating, I realized how shallow women are. Most of the girls I dated wouldn't give me a chance just because I still live with my parents and drive a not so “good” car. Yet, they can't even pay half of half of the dinner check.
@alexandrareid41005 жыл бұрын
So true. That is part of the reason I am not dating at the moment. I had to really think about what I can bring to a relationship and if I have a strong sense of self. I cant sit here and say a guy is such and such if I cant measure up either.
@vickss93065 жыл бұрын
I’ve been through struggle love. what allowed me to get out of it was deciding to develop myself mentally and spiritually also looking at people around me to see what a good and healthy relationship looked like. Once you know who you are and what good is, it’s so easier to decipher who/what is good and who is going to enrich your life.
@vickss93065 жыл бұрын
Esiri Eya'ufe one of my favourite scripture is ‘seek ye the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all other things shall follow’. Focusing on furthering your relationship with Christ and all other things you’re worried about or just the future will be taken care. Thats another thing that gets me through
@nyrobiautumnbreeze19265 жыл бұрын
This was my absolute fave girl chat segment so far. That culture is truly something I think many women are now actively working on changing and it's good seeing conversations looks this is this this forum. Love all these women. 💓💓
@cmunnerl5 жыл бұрын
This just spoke into my life
@biancabrown42975 жыл бұрын
Charelle Unique yes
@eboneem.89655 жыл бұрын
SELF LOVE IS KEY.
@elaulii49915 жыл бұрын
Am I in church cause that was the kinda sermon I be putting my praise break on to
@MaishaOnTop5 жыл бұрын
Ikr ? God really spoke to us through them
@loveystar78cloud465 жыл бұрын
Didn't our hearts burn?
@Jmaxx1965 жыл бұрын
Maïsha he sure did girl
@MaishaOnTop5 жыл бұрын
@@Jmaxx196 yep
@AlexisHousey5 жыл бұрын
Put YOURSELF first is the first step to getting out of THE STRUGGLE LOVE. When you learn to love yourself and put yourself FIRST and KNOW YOUR WORTH, you’ll be fine
@alineuwiragiye77045 жыл бұрын
jeanne I hope you found peace. do not change for anyone but you. I did not know you were miserable in your marriage. stay strong and stand for what you believe in. I support you both way.
@JosiePosieWosie0125 жыл бұрын
This was a good conversation! Good job, girls!
@ranatumindeg5 жыл бұрын
Wow Adrienne is more opinionated now..♥♥
@rikanejose26115 жыл бұрын
I love how she's independent on her way of thinking. She has her own mind and doesn't really care who disagree with her. She's bold and fierce. I'm loving the new Addrienne now.
@rikanejose26115 жыл бұрын
@@faizasaeed1000 Right....lol. I love now she's standing out and is a leader now not a follower.
@funkiifresh215 жыл бұрын
These are the topics I'm talking about . Bring these encouraging, uplifting, and educating LIFE topics back please. Thanks for keeping it REAL.
@Onur05475 жыл бұрын
Sister sister struggle 🤣
@MJthebookworm5 жыл бұрын
are yall ladies on the real looking at my life? cause these topics got me crying over here
@patriciamadden45835 жыл бұрын
Loved this video in general but really felt the last part from Tamera: "There's a difference between what you WANT... and what you NEED in a relationship." There is a huge conversation that could jump off from that particular point. It's something I would personally like to investigate in my own life. Thank you ladies, LOVE the show xx
@skecre5 жыл бұрын
Amen! Yesss Jeanie now say it again for the people at the back 👏🏾👏🏾👌🏾
@Chaptersaudio5 жыл бұрын
Wow Tam, I got chills on this one! 100% that was me in my past relationships. And each one failed for the exact same reason (with the exception of one). I think that has everything to do with the reason I am no longer seeking a wounded boy. I want a grown man that can return the same level of love, communication and respect that I give him. I wasted so many years being overly soft with men that I needed to be firm with.
@marissar.3595 жыл бұрын
YES!!!!
@alondraxx335 жыл бұрын
Love Jeannie's commentary! So well spoken and authentic in how she expresses herself! Love it girl! You are amazing!
@marsandfruit61355 жыл бұрын
I feel this topic on a deep level. I feel like a lot of people get into "struggle love" and think they can't get out of it. In fact, I feel like people get themselves into situations they think they have no control over. The truth is they do. I think the important part of this conversation is to always practice self-love. People don't wake up loving themselves, they need to work on it every day. Even if you don't feel like getting out of bed or don't see the point in being a functioning human being. You must remember that these feelings and situations will pass. That what you are doing is enough. As someone who had an eating disorder (and thus had a terrible relationship with myself), I understand that. So deeply and completely. Also, it's nice to get some relationship and life advice from ya'll. Thank you.
@christylouis26115 жыл бұрын
What Tameras friend said is actually a thing for Cancers... (Zodiac sign) And Tamera is a Cancer so it didn't surprise me...we tend to enter relationships with toxic/negative people because we believe that we can save them with our love and compassion. We like the idea of being needed and fixing broken things. It's out nature to nurture people like that....its very unhealthy actually to live like that. So when u see ppl talking about "Oh Cancers are such victim crybabies, blah blah blah" no it's not even that simple. If you were to truly learn the mind of a Cancer, you would know that they are the most out of all Zodiac signs (besides Pisces) to have been emotionally abused and drained from their relationships since they wanna always give.
@pamelasmith25685 жыл бұрын
Yes I'm a cancer and that is very much true
@lauvonfr92225 жыл бұрын
OMG, that's so true. I have quite a few cancer girlfriends and they love hard, while being such nice people. You hate to see nice people be so tolerant of foolishness. Everyone, men and women should know how special they are.
@shontamanning79605 жыл бұрын
Im a Cancer I felt this on a whole another level 💕 ppl don’t understand how draining it is
@tiffdawn44285 жыл бұрын
Ooooh gave me chills. Y’all took me to church today. Everything was amazing you guys said. Some gems that I def need to pass on to my friends. To get what you want out of life you gotta take a good look in the mirror. That where I’m at in my life currently and it’s going great
@AngelFriend9115 жыл бұрын
Do you fix the flower or the environment... I was just asking about this earlier.
@zoemcguire87425 жыл бұрын
Whitney Nike lover you’re gorg
@kays41275 жыл бұрын
Wait so you fix the environment right ? My connection is weak and the video keeps pausing
@ClaireHaire5 жыл бұрын
Best advice from being delivered from struggle love is having zero tolerance for your deal breakers. I’ve heard of plenty of women say their dealbreakers and once they get a man they drop them. It’s scary but, the good ones will stick.
@ObedienceOrSacrifice5 жыл бұрын
These are the topics I enjoy and everyone had valid points that were very similar but relayed differently. I too always say I'm no one's better half I'm whole and I pray that you are too because I can't "complete" you, you have to be complete first so that you better know what you want and or need in order to "compliment" you...
@misskay_255 жыл бұрын
ObedienceOrSacrifice 👏🏾
@delmi46955 жыл бұрын
Jeannie made me cry. Thank you babe, your advice rlly opened my eyes.
@RealTalkRelationshipTherapy5 жыл бұрын
You have to love yourself first before you can attract the right man
@realgamecockboy71385 жыл бұрын
What is the right man..???
@DePiagetfan5 жыл бұрын
Not just love yourself but KNOW yourself.
@nahfamnope2 жыл бұрын
This clip is 2 years old, but now it hits different. For the past eight years I’d been in relationships and therapy at the same time. I never knew why I was always confused and sad. I thought something was wrong with ME. Now that I’m fully solo, I’ve never felt lighter. Haven’t been to or felt like I needed therapy in months!
@SeychelleSunshine5 жыл бұрын
I was determined not to fall into the struggle love pattern that a VAST majority of women in the hood and in my family tend to fall into. A lot of the women I know are repeatedly cheated on, bare most of the parenting of their children, and some bear the financial weight of their mans' intentional shortcomings and laziness. I've seen a lot of potential and happiness sucked out of them for years. The result- they're stressed all the time, held back in their love lives and careers, and exhausted. They're strong but constant abuse and trauma breaks everyone. I feel sorry for the children as well. I haven't fallen into struggle love; I had a 2 year relationship in high school that was becoming emotionally abusive so I ended it. My next 2 relationships were both only 2 months long because university life got busy and we didn't have time for each other. My current relationship is 3.5 years long and my "serious" relationship; we're aiming for marriage, kids, and love till death do us part. It's nothing like what I saw growing up; my mom sent him to me from Heaven (seriously). He cares for me just as much as I care for him. He lifts me up and I hold him down. We put mutual respect, effort, and love into our relationship. I have depression and PTSD so I have a lot more hard days than someone without mental illness; being with him makes me feel less emotionally drained because he returns what I give and holds me through my pain. The usual reasons why people fall into this are because they grew up in a toxic environment that taught them it's just the norm, they are insecure and don't think they deserve better, they have something missing inside that they try to fulfill with a "project", they're stuck in previous abuse and are repeating a cycle of trauma, they're told having anyone is better than no one, or they're truly so naive that they're easily taken advantage of and don't realize. It's extremely unhealthy and unfair. You need to ask yourself hard questions when it comes to your satisfaction and make that difficult step to replant yourself in a healthy environment. It starts at the root and you must evaluate. It may hurt and feel impossible now, but there will be so much less pain later and you won't be passing down pain. You must do it and forgive yourself. Move on, move up, move forward. Good luck.
@mmapasekawilliamson19045 жыл бұрын
When Jeanie drops 'Think about it' ♡
@Jmaxx1965 жыл бұрын
OMG I just got out of a "struggle love" relationship. I'm tired of taking care of this person. This segment spoke to my soul.
@PollyLove925 жыл бұрын
come on pastor Jeannie! 👏👏👏
@ShadonyaNorthington5 жыл бұрын
This is the first time since I moved in late May, I felt vindicated in why I did it! I completely left my comfort zone by way of states, just to let go of someone, NOT GOOD FOR ME. A whole new pot for my roots. 😉 Great topic
@solomialaba25375 жыл бұрын
This is the first real segment Ive seen from you guys in a while, just like how it used to be. Great girl chats less news broadcasting
@deborahgomez56175 жыл бұрын
On a personal note, I really needed to hear this. Just left a long term struggle love relationship. I like how Tamara explained codependency, because I was thinking he was codependent on me but in actuality I was codependent to think “he needs me”. Being with him has drained me mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I finally got feed up and just told him I’m done. God pulled away the blinders I had put up and let me see the truth about myself and I hated what I saw. I feel some much better after freeing myself from this man and his issues. It’s been only 3 weeks and we have 2 kids together so pray for me that I don’t fall back into that same toxic cycle. I know I deserve better.
@kimberleyjohal23915 жыл бұрын
I agree with jeannie for sure!
@lailap90685 жыл бұрын
You guys dont understand how badly i needed to hear this. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH
@melissacaroo9325 жыл бұрын
This is one of your best videos. Love you ladies so much. 😘
@ladybnini4 жыл бұрын
thank you ladies for having a segment on this topic. I am in struggle love and have been for 5 years, but God is moving things around for me now and this is what my inner self has been trying to say, but I have been ignoring her. ❤🙌❤🙌
@aunjamoney67075 жыл бұрын
Tamera and Jeannie's hair looks amazing today! All 4 ladies are absolutely beautiful 💖💖💖
@coyachristie87425 жыл бұрын
You can’t change the people who are around you but you can change the people who you are around. 💯
@johnwong94605 жыл бұрын
I am a 29 year young man and I relate so much to these women. To be clear I don’t associate myself as a women but these topics are so true for any form of relationship whether between men and women or men and men/ women and women... I appreciate the real ness these women show and how transparent they are. I would love to sit with them and represent what us a gay men deal with and how it relates...
@kyashonna.antonya5 жыл бұрын
"you have the power to change the environment" love that
@jackieBarnesjaylob5 жыл бұрын
Loved what Loni said about improvement none of us are perfect even if you think you are you’re not
@SaraElsadik5 жыл бұрын
YES! More of these important topics!!! We love you The Real!
@mbtisocialclub3 жыл бұрын
I’m a guy, and I stumbled on this. This is just good advice for everyone honestly
@brittany48715 жыл бұрын
I love you guys, I was truly mediating on this topic and all of your answers just validated the moves I’m making in my life thank you so much for confirmation 💃🏽💃🏽👑
@gabysantos22512 жыл бұрын
I'm focusing on my son and myself ❤👏🏼life has been real good. Even during the bad times; It all works out.
@OnyxEverAfter5 жыл бұрын
Tamera I felt that on a spiritual level
@constancetillman43595 жыл бұрын
This was great ladies. I love when Loni takes these conversations serious because she really does give good advice
@neya2925 жыл бұрын
This topic is so needed!
@snr67125 жыл бұрын
Preach!!! This is so true. Such good advice , I wish they could do a segment where tell just give advice to people and talk like this.
@totallyblessed81275 жыл бұрын
THIS IS MY FAVORITE GIRL CHAT OF THIS SEASON YESSS!!!! SPEKAK THE TRUTH!!! #FACTS #TRUTH #LOVEYOURSELF
@f.-j.j.57385 жыл бұрын
Women hear love yourself so often but they don't know how to translate that into action... It's sometimes boil down to sitting alone, in silence and asking yourself: do I want this, what I am putting myself thru, do I want it for my daughter (or any other female family member or friend you love dearly)... If it's not right, it's time to move on...
@Divine.M Жыл бұрын
I'm here today needed to hear this podcast. Thank you ladies,24/01/2023
@elsacoloma21175 жыл бұрын
Preach Ladies 🙏🏽
@jessicalea49575 жыл бұрын
This is such important truth. Preach sisters! This is the best sermon on love I have heard so far!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@JayElemn035 жыл бұрын
Whenever Jeanie says “think about it” you know she speaks STRAIGHT FACTS😂😂😂
@mayraforcado865 жыл бұрын
I’ve been going through a breakup and this really hit hard. But it really opened me up. Thank you for the great advice ladies.
@Mervinaa5 жыл бұрын
I been loving these topics recently.. I can resonate with that on such a high level. This combined with the ''If I knew back then..'' segment hit me so hard. But you know just like J.Cole said don't [him, he] don't wanna be saved..
@iMolikaMenThlang5 жыл бұрын
When Adrienne said ‘that any of us can go through this’ I was kind of feeling a little shade thrown our way. We are categorized in Adrienne’s mind 😏 🌴. The viewers are poor and they rich. Kind of feels. 😤
@BogusBozo5 жыл бұрын
They forgot to mention prayers. Prayers will make your life 100% easier.
@stanbalo3 жыл бұрын
Amen!
@brikadei5 жыл бұрын
Y’all better preach ladies!!
@nametsobonitahmosiami49275 жыл бұрын
JEANNIE...thank u for ur words of wisdom!!u gave me smth to think about
@thefrugallife-withmercedes77185 жыл бұрын
It would really make a difference if people could see the patterns they continue to put themselves into. I have a friend who ended a 10 year relationship because the man wouldn't comment. Within months she was in a new relationship. Five years later this man won't commit either. Respect yourself enough to not put yourself in the same situation on repeat.
@Shadowangel6915 жыл бұрын
yessss. this is the content i subscribed for! more of this please
@sarangan19955 жыл бұрын
So much wisdom!! Love these girls!
@leonabundy67395 жыл бұрын
I RECEIVE THIS HARD IN MY SPIRIT! Preach to me sisters! This was me!!!
@amandaunique25344 жыл бұрын
Where was the REAL when i was younger ?!?!?! I so needed to hear this back then
@Howdyimannabelle5 жыл бұрын
Ugh, what would I do without you ladies. So much love. 💗
@nissirey77335 жыл бұрын
These segments are always on TIME
@cinthiagiron48525 жыл бұрын
This topic is good .. now making me think 🤔 and ask myself ...
@anjudangol70355 жыл бұрын
What a great conversation !!
@jennyw38535 жыл бұрын
If the show ends up not working out for you ladies (which is close to impossible because you guys are so awesome)...PLEASE START A PODCAST!!!
@dezignermoore5065 жыл бұрын
I literally never comment but Loni looks great
@babatundemaria86035 жыл бұрын
I def love this segment! Came at a good time! Keep keeping it real, ladies!!!
@anditspaganpoetry5 жыл бұрын
It’s like they’re talking directly to me and my situation but I’m not ready to uproot yet 😩😩