It is my firm belief that animals in regular contact with humans, especially over millennia, have developed a basic understanding of the threat posed to them by humans and classified them in three main categories. Category one: Basic human; holding nothing. Threat level: Mostly harmless, ignore. Unless it is chasing you, then see level two. Category two: A human holding a rock. Threat level: Dangerous. Capable of causing significant pain, injury or even death, especially if thrown by those damned hairless apes. Ignore at your own peril. Threat level increases if it starts chasing you. Category three: A human holding a stick. Threat level: EXTREME DANGER!!! Never ignore a human holding a stick; they are deadly. Some sticks are used to hit/gore you. Some (sharp) sticks can be thrown at you from a distance. Some sticks can be used to throw smaller sharp sticks at you. And some sticks make a loud noise and you just drop dead. With sticks, they don't need to chase you.

In general humans don't care but when we do care you best run, run far far away, and then keep running for if you're lucky you might run far enough that it's too much trouble for us to chase you, and then we don't care.. as long as you stay far away that is

Human with a thing in its hand? Oh clap ruuuuuuunnnnn.

Story two: "A Thing Absolutely glorious. That an AI has a general escape logic based on an undefined parameter is absolutely amazing. It's a human... fine... just go about doing your own whatever. It's a human with *literally ANYTHING*, engage panic protocols and express appreciation for your brief existence. Dear algorithm, that made my night.

It is threat level "human with a thing in it's hands" that made me smile.

There are only a handfull of animals on this earth who don't give a crap about a human with any kind of stick... Big Cats, Bears, Moose, Hippos, Crocadiles, Alligators, Sharkes... and Geese. Big cats: ambush predetors that don't care what a human has so long as it's not paying attention to it's surroundings... it is prey. Bear: oppertunistic predetors that while do not prey on humans, are not against battling them for food. Moose: Herbavours that are are not scared of litterally anything, and will charge at everything even to their own death. Hippos: Bilogical amphibious high speed tanks with massive maws... nothing more really needs to be said. Crocadiles and Alligators: Similar reptillian ambush predetors that will kill and eat anything they can catch. Sharks: swimming idiots that bite everything to see if it's food, and bit it again and again even if it isn't just in case it decides to turn into food. Geese: The most hostile creature on the humans homeworld, even though it is a prey for humans, it is equally a threat to them.

Cracks me up every time that Earth is a deathworld.

Damn we don't even get to see how the hoo man scrapped them with a twinkie!

First story: yup. Remember kids, the opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. Being apathetic to old rivalries counts. Second story: Always assume the human has A Thing. It's safer that way.

"To be alive is enough to be alike." I'm keeping that.

oh cool a stick, lemme pick it up and... * panic fills the air * what ?

When humans are the lovecraftian horrors to other ETs.

Not going to lie the bot was fine right up until it decided to run.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Oh man ! The second one finished me. Ow my ribs are killing me ! Bitching _Betty? Apathy virus? The human part was scary,but it shut Betty up so.... worth every dime i never paid for it! Interactive holographic projection.

"Rapid unscheduled disassembly"

Greetings Mentlegent For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Story 1: The alien learned what "care" meant Story 2: Perhaps it would've been better if it hadn't run

I absolutely *loved* this AI! Excellently written and masterfully voiced! Thank you both!

Congratulations! You've made humanity care! Perish.

Hmm only one thing can cause rapid unintended disassembly of a nanite swarm. Someone made an EMP weapon man portable.

Story two. " like spawning a 15 year old " oh how true.

i really appreciate all the work you do for Humans. Remember to like. HFY!

I think you could read a grocery list and with your inflection make it interesting

It has a thing in its hand !?

Why are You Running? Why are You Running?

Thank you for the reading

The human is holding just a tee pot! - RUNNN!!

Thanks for the story

Woop woop pull up! Woop Woop pull up!

Just assume the human is holding something. In his pocket is the same as holding.

Your audio is always spot on. May I ask your setup? What are you using?

1st story: Frostpunk but in space & happening to aliens

His grandpappy HK47 would not approve of him running from mere meatbags.

ah poor nanaite thingy.. i hope it gets a reprieve, and teh human just wants to know what is up?? lol lets see a part 2 3 15.. lol

MK47? MK-47's ancestors weep at what became of the noble nn-47 line.

The maps looks So Similar to the orginal, I like it

4 D algorithm 4 D 🐿️ ❗ ❗

And just who managed to come up with such a cool and bitchin' name like "Quantum Wednesday"?

Is there a second part to the second story?

ROFLMAO!!!

well... he should play dead instead of running :3

For the algorithm

This game me a human ego boost

hey man ou are my favorite adio narrator for space stories, but if you could can you please for the love of god not just abruptly shout during an exclamation mark, scares the shi* out of me when im laying dow listening

For the Algorithm11!

We do care but if we don't help you we don't enough or not enough of us cares to get the government to help

Lol bitching Betty, man I hate that text to speech