The sparkling women one wasn’t really gay erasure. It was a joke playing off the fact that if champagne comes from anywhere else than the Champagne region of France it has to be called sparkling wine. So lesbians from anywhere other than Lesbos would be sparkling women.

"they're not lgbt or lesbian, they're just 2 women in a romantic relationship" Fellas, is it straight to love people of the same gender???

"It's only champagne if it comes from the Champagne region of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling white wine." That's where the sparkling women joke came from.

Me having had a baby does not mean I'm not asexual. Having an exploratory homosexual encounter in college does not mean you're not heterosexual. You are who you are, not necessarily every single thing you do.

My mother was shocked while watching a historical drama and they were throwing around the F bomb, saying it was so unrealistic. She believed swearing started in the 1970's.

For anyone who didn't know, the phrase "Harold, they're lesbians" comes from a tumblr post in 2015 talking about the experience of watching the movie 'Carol' in a theatre full of "old het couples" - half way through the movie, one woman turned to her (presumably) husband and said "Harold, they're lesbians". Source: Know your meme

Harold is my daughter's dead middle name, so it cracked me up even more. She hasn't chosen a new middle name yet, but I've advised her that when she finds a name she loves to pair with her new first name, she'll know. Oddly, the new first name that she chose was my first choice for a name had she been born in a female body. I'm not sure if that terminology is correct. I'm still new to this, as she just came out to me 19 months ago.

I love the idea of “non-traditional” lemur arrangements. They clearly much more culturally advanced than we thought!

Can confirm, I’m from America and whenever I do a “lesbian” act, I begin sparkling and glittering.

I remember getting in trouble in middle school for blurting out “oh they were just gay!” When learning about two female poets who moved into a cottage together, had a bunch of cats, never married, and were buried in the same lot together … apparently I was the only one who understood gay erasure lmao

The painting, La Confidance, is one of my favorite paintings, largely because of how fascinating the artist is. Elizabeth Jane Gardner was an American artist who went to France, tried to enroll in art school, and was told she wasn’t allowed in because the nudes would be too much for her delicate sensibilities. She disagreed, and to get around the gender rules, she cross-dressed and re-enrolled as a guy, and got in. While at the school, she met her future husband, William Adolphe Bouguereau, with whom she had like a 19 year courtship while they waited for his mother to die because his mom didn’t like that saucy, American tart who sometimes wore boy clothes

If "treat women well before they all turn gay" was true, dudes would be damned already hahaha

"Men, stop breaking women's hearts before they all turn gay". I'm a heterosexual trans guy, and I've been hurt by women so badly (poor choice of partners, my own fault) that I wished I were gay on more than one occasion. But nope, I'm still straight, because that's not how orientation works

"One of them has to be the wife" was quite literally what my grandma said when two men in my family married... She kept asking me to explain to her whom she should refer to as "the wife". Those were exhausting 10 minutes and at the end my entire family was just like: "Don't know, don't care" Way to be a typical stern German family, right?

The "treat women better so they don't date other women" argument only really works if the woman is bi...because I definitely decided I was only dating women after getting tired of how many men weaponize their incompetence

My grandma was a very important person in my life. She had a lady that was her best friend. I called her Aunt Peachy she roomed at my grandparents house. I was very fond of her. It wasn't until years after my grandma's passing that I was told out of malice who Aunt Peachy really was to my grandma. Grandma was a lesbian In her time it was hush hush and frowned upon. She did what she felt she had to do to keep it quiet out of love and respect for my grandpa. She gave him a daughter and was there for him all her days. He loved her for who she was and was there for her for the rest of her days. Now the love I felt in my grandparents house was all I knew. There were no labels, no slurs just love. It took a cheap shot at a dead grandparent to make them feel better about themselves and their family. It just made me admire my grandparents and aunt Peachy even more. I feel sorry for narrow minded people even family members. So much is lost. There are better things to do then judge.

Your pronunciation of "la confidence" was actually perfect! I'd say the meaning is closer to "the confession" than "the secret", wich really leaves very little room for doubt on how gay it is..

"They're lesbians, Harold!" is by far one of my favorite lines in response to gay erasure.

Thank you for ranting about people freaking out about how it'll be "too late" to not have a husband by your late 20s. I just turned 27 myself, actually, and there are nights I can't sleep because of this ridiculous fear society's squished into my brain. I'm ace so it has been so incredibly difficult for me to find any sort of partner period, and the pressure from society and my family to already be married and having kids is so extreme. It's such a relief to have this issue not only strike a chord with me, but you as well, Jamie. It means the world to me. Thank you ❤️

women in history: literally kissing and stuff historians: besties 🥰🥰🤩😀😁 amazing good great gal pals 👩👩😋😛😊 the bestest of friends 💃🕺💃🕺💃 they were such great friends 👭🤼‍♀️💕

Me, who dated two men in their past when they weren't out, but now identity as a lesbian, hearing about people trying to erase Velma's identity because she dated one singular man in her past: 👁️👄👁️

"They're lesbians harold" should be the catchphrase for the owl house

I doubt Emily Dickenson actually licked the envelope. But describing her desire for the woman in such a way shows how much she missed her. She was an amazing writer after all and able to get large emotions understood through simple words.

6:28 y'all, even the inventor of the whoopie cushion was a 14 year old trans girl. And a Roman empress might I add. She was assassinated in 222 at 18 for the way she reigned and the changes she made to religion and the Senate (which included allowing women to attend). The plot was devised by her own grandmother, and she was killed with her mother, who was desperately clinging onto her as it happened. Her lover Hierocles was also executed because he was a man.

Quote of the Day: “Sometimes, on this channel, everyone is gay and sometimes, nobody is because of gay erasure.”

“Harold, they’re lesbians” NEEDS TO BE ON A TSHIRT!! 😂😂

The one about the 27 y/o daughter and her „bestie“: they could have also both been aro/ace and it would be yet another reason why noone would need to find them husbands.

I had a great aunt who died before I was born. What I learned about her. Left her fiancé at the altar, never married again. Lived with her best friend and the best friend dressed manly (their words not mine). Never had a boyfriend (I don’t understand how she had a fiancé but no boyfriends) or children. But they travelled the world together. Me to mum: so you realise it’s highly probable that she was gay. To myself: Awesome I like my aunt even more the more I find out about her. My mum: No no no you don’t understand she was ruined by a man they were housemates and best friends. Me: she left everything to her “best friend,”completely ignoring her entire family. We need to admit that they were more than friends. Mum: really close best friends… I feel for my mum as she is a very loving woman but she was raised to believe some pretty questionable stuff. I got her eventually to at least acknowledge they were likely more than friends even if the narrative she came up with was so convoluted.

For the record, I saw the "sparkling women" post on Reddit a while back, and shared it with my little gay group chat (all women), and we all LOVED it. We were all immediately like "✨I sparkle ✨"

As an Ace person, I’ve been struggling to figure out if there are ways that we as a society can correct gay erasure without reinforcing ace erasure. I understand that it’s important to acknowledge and appreciate the many ways that gay people have managed to find and express love over the many centuries when homosexuality was invisible, incomprehensible, or straight out illegal, but the presumption these days that all “close friends” throughout history who we know to have shared a significant part of their lives must have been secretly romantic and/or sexual partners as well (even if there’s no specific evidence for that) feels like allosexuals reinscribing the (to them) primary value and centrality of sex and romance on all of human society, as though genuinely close friendships and platonic partnerships have never mattered or existed.

Remember the time Gay men were called ‘Friend of Dorothy’ and Lesbian Women were ‘Pals’ and ‘Close Friends’? Yeah, no more code words.

so many people look at history and decide that because the word "transgender" wasn't used before a certain point, we just uhh... conveniently didn't exist. As though names for things and language, as well as understanding of sex and gender + how those play into society, haven't always been evolving. They decide "well I never saw anything about transgender people before x time period soo!"... and conveniently ignore all the of the examples of literal trans people in history or historically how many cultures included and revered trans people. but ya know- 1960, sure.

The one about Lesbians only being from Lesbos is a meme. "It's only Champagne if it's from the Champagne region in France, otherwise it's just sparkling wine."

"It started in 1960..." The first documented MTF surgery was done in 1930, FTM in 1906. Before that, there were also known cases of people socially transitioning as well as there were dug up graves older than Christianity that deviated from burial traditions for those corpses' sex from that time period. And it also should be mentioned that various ancient cultures recognised something as a "third gender." The only thing that started in 1960 (more like late 50s) was the term transgender.

4:52 this part was really comforting to me. I'm only 20 and even I feel really pressured to have my life together already. Thanks for saying this

The "no trans people before the 1960s" comment reminded me about a swedish trans man named Andreas Bruce (pronounced Bru-ce). He was born in 1808 and he, although there was some opposition, was accepted as a man by his father when he was 16. His memoirs still exist and is considered a unique historical find not only in the context of lgbtq+ history. Trans people have obviously existed for much longer than many people understand and not every cis/het person was a giant prick about it. Fair warning for anyone looking him up: he did not have it easy by any means and even went through a pregnancy that, from what I understand, he didn't want at all, but he was able to live to his 70s being generally accepted as a man.

5:13 oh Jamie, I needed to hear that. As a 30-year-old lesbian with ADHD I feel like I'm "behind" in so many ways but shit, I'm just trying to find my niche 😊

"Didn't Velma date shaggy?" Yeah, and she actually seemed less happy while they were dating.

I've literally been binging your videos for the past few days and I wanted to say thank you for being so wholesome and kind and having a community that's immensely welcoming!

Velma's relationship with Shaggy was also awful. Neither of them was really feeling it. It was actually setup for her to get with Hotdog Water at some point, which would have been a much better, happier relationship. But they didn't get as many seasons as they wanted, and they had to wrap up the overarching plot, so that took precedence.

Even if you only count written history, trans people have been written about for THOUSANDS OF YEARS!!!!!!

Dogs can be gay too. my brother has two male dogs who are in love; and you can tell.

As a South Asian, I know parents who have heart palpitations because of an unmarried woman who’s 27 lol

Shout out to my friend who now identifies as a lesbian after previously identifying as bi 🙌🏳‍🌈 Also the childhood best friend one is incredibly wholesome. And I agree, there is too much pressure on people to have *everything* sorted by the time you are 27, nay, 30 is still young imo. We don't have a lifespan of 5 seconds!

The 27 year old best friend who live together could also be a QPR (even if they don't know the term) like even if their sexuality wasn't "compatible" (like one or both of them where Asexual etc.) they might be hetero-lifemates (which really wouldn't they be nonsexual homo-lifemates? Dogma lied to me!). Or like Jammi said, actually best-friends and roommates who are still getting their feet under them.

“Harold, they’re lesbians.” needs to be a T-Shirt 😂

1:08 *with a perfect poker face* "do not think so highly of yourself" I- I might have screamed

0:36 the funny thing is the roommate [in the 1st pic] is probably the grandkid lying because they can't be open about being lgbt. I had an uncle who lived with his partner and my whole family said they were roommates, erasing their relationship, for many years.

The 27 year childhood friends whose parent wanted to find them husbands reminded me of my cousin, I'll call him Freddie. I had met him for the first time when I was about 10/11, Freddie was about 18/19 at our mutual aunt's wedding (we lived in different countries and my dad was never close with his eldest sister/Freddie's mum). I knew right away that the "friend" he brought with him was a boyfriend & that he was likely gay, I had even asked my dad about it and he agreed it was likely. Fast forward 15 years and our aunt ( the one who's wedding it had been, who some how became the family hub of all info) came to visit and we were talking about the Freddie, I can't remember how it came up but I think I asked for clarification that he was indeed gay. She told me this hilarious story about how he'd been living with his partner for almost 15 years in a one bed flat, that his mother would visit regularly and flirted with his boyfriend all the time. Basically the only person in the family who didn't know he was gay was his mother. My aunt said no one was to tell her because they find it so funny. Their relationship ended a few years ago, but idk if his mother ever actually knew they were together. He has a new partner and I believe she knows _now_ (I mean 35 years is better late than never, I'd say), she likely found it odd when he went from owning his own house to moving in with another man. We still all find it funny.

Question, can we have "Harold" signify an extremely heteronormative male? Just, imagine this: Some heteronormative guy: * says some heteronormative things* One of us: Okay, Harold LGBTQ version of Okay, boomer And like, Harold doesn't even need to be homophobic, I think the name Harold fits people that are just clueless to the existence of anything other than cis-het (Well, technically that's still homophobic, it's just a sub-genera, if you will) Harold can only see "gal pals" and "bros"

The 'My romance between women isn't a lesbian romance' is kind of worse than erasure. Literally the only reason for them both being women is to create problems for the characters. It's hard enough to find representation that's supposed to be representation that doesn't have tragedy and suffering connected to the queer identities of the characters. I'm all for this person publicly posting that they don't have an "LGBT" romance in their story. Makes me know that it's a waste of time.

Could you do asexual erasure-you know when poeple don't realize that asexuality is a thing? I'd like some more ace content, since I'm ace. And great video; I enjoy your content. Keep it up!

That first comic strip was me and my ex for 10 years to her parents, baby and all. Now her closet is no longer my and our sons problem.

On the whole Velma dating Shaggy...in one episode or movie we did see them making out, but Shaggy gets around so I wouldn't put too much stock in it. At one point Fred tells someone to call him Fred and only people he dates calls him Freddy, which Shaggy does on many occasions...

I'm guessing the "gal pals" and "galentine's day" things were moreso in reference to the Parks & Rec joke, where Leslie starts Galentine's day as a day for women to celebrate the other women in their lives regardless of their relationship status. It's more of a girl-power thing rather than gay-erasure.

I mean, what is a child but another, smaller roommate?

Damn, Emily Dickinson. That's some commitment, envelope seals are gross.

but hey, i did the exact opposite of gay erasure, because i saw a tiktok (just text) where a person said "... my wife..." and i automatically assumed taht they were in a wlw relationship... i forgot that straight people exist 😂

4:00 Aww, what a cute card for her _✨r o o m m a t e ✨_

I think the "gal pals" Valentine's cards are meant for single women who don't wanna feel left out for not having a date, so their friends wanna do something nice for them. Not intentionally gay erasia

2:16 I knew it As a younger one I felt that tension between Velma and Hot Dog Water before I even knew gay was a thing

Sometimes with the roommate thing you get two queer disasters like my roommate and I who are not interested in each other at all but living together and people like my roommate's mom constantly thinks we're together. We very much have a sibling relationship, but I get why people think we're gay for each other.

In India, people think that Queerness is a Western Import and that’s hilarious because we INVENTED being Queer 😂

that *la confeedonce* is gonna live rent free in my head now

As a trans woman, I reaIized I had feeIiings for a best guy friend I'd known Iong before I transitioned. As a man, I thought myseIf gay for him; then as a woman, I feIt my feeIings for him were heterosexuaI. Didn't matter, though, as he never wanted to be more than just friends with me.

Wait does Jamie not know about Galentines day? The day before Valentines to celebrate female friendship. It's definitely outlived its origins and has become rather popular even outside of fandom circles. I fully believe that's what the card was referencing.

Soo I might've sobbed a bit when you were talking about 27 not being old or "too late". I'll be 26 for less than two more months and man, it's stressful.

I am going to be 32 this year and I am constantly told I’m too old for acting, I’ll always be alone because I wasn’t married and settled by 25, etc. it feels really good to hear someone I respect so much to say that’s just weird and not realistic. Also “Harold, they’re lesbians” 🤣 the fact some people go to such lengths to try to rationalise how everything is clearly heteronormative… it’s so much simpler to just accept what’s being shown.

0:49 Grandma didn’t tell you she had an Etsy Store she was making an inventory for.

im 27 and i just ditched a bunch of job oppertunities and my fiancé of 4 years and moved in with my dad and grandma. and i started over. thank you so much for making me feel young with thus video

Happy Sungay everyone! :D

This reminded me of my grandmother, who always wondered why Liberace didn't have a wife.

You are all doing so amazing and you are all so wonderful!! Don't let anyone tell you your worth! You are important and loved! You can accomplish anything you put your mind to!! I believe in all of you and that you can get out of any situation you are in, you are not alone.

Watching this reminded me of something my health teacher said a while ago. He said that we don’t actually know what affects gmo foods have on us, but there have been some major changes since the production of gmo foods has gone up, such as there being “so many more gay and trans people ever since gmo foods were invented.” Yes, he literally said that. He then went on to say that the gmo food may be changing our bodies so that our hormones are all over the place, causing people to become trans. I really had to resist the urge to tell him that no, the reason that there are “so many more gay and trans people” recently because in the past the discrimination has been much much worse and the pressure to get married and have kids was much much worse.🤦🏼‍♀️

I love your amazingly awkward introductions!! 🤣🤣🤣 Also....: Queer Kiwi x Jammidodger crossover episode, PLEEEAAASSSE! 😀 😍 You are both such amazing KZfaqrs, and I *need* to see y'all together in one video!!

Thank you so much for the midway point where you say we’ll all achieve these goals when it’s right for us :) I actually have known what I want to do for 8 years, but it’s been taking those 8 years and counting to even be able to start properly because of ridiculous bullshit. I get insecure because I’ve lost so much time, so it’s really nice to be told that I’ll get there at my own pace 🥰

My fav was Can us males stop breaking these females hearts before they all turn gay. When Jammie said "do not think so highly of yourself" that got me real good, nearly spit my coffee 🤣😂🤣

9:04 Jamie- I think you crashed the bus

Hi Jammi! I just wanted to thank you for being such an absolute gift. I found your channel a few years ago when I first started questioning my gender and I’m so glad I had your channel throughout my journey. I have frequently referred people who either are looking for more information about my identity or if they themselves are questioning. My mom frequently watches your channel to try to find new ways to make me feel better about my identity and it really means the world. Thank you so much for everything you have done for me. -Kaydasaurus

"Harold, they're lesbians." Harold: "Hold the fuck up!"

1:28 that just reminds me of a line in break it down by tally hall "Wouldn't that make you gay?" "Not necessarilay"

Hello! Trans demi-woman here to tell everyone about the temple of Aphrodite back in ancient Greece, circa 3000 BCE. This lovely goddess not only had a following of women, but a good chunk was also "men" who wished to become women as well. They would adopt traditionally feminine social roles, strive to act in a feminine manner, choose new names, preform rituals, use specific oils & extracts (that have been proven to actually caused decreased testosterone and elevated estrogen levels), and even go far as SELF CASTRATION. All of this was done in an attempt to conform their minds and bodies in an attempt to appease the fickle goddess into deming them worthy to receive the Divine gift of womanhood! My point here is that trans folk have always been around, in one form or another, for as long as humans have been human. This example is at the very least 5,000 years old and there are several other examples dating back even further. Suck on that CISHETS!

Also, this video was absolutely BRILLIANT and just made my day, so thank you very much!! OHHHH AND, I got an ad of you, Jamie - I was so excited to see your ad 👏👏✨

05 :12 honestly!!! I'm so thankful for your words, i needed that ❤️❤️

On the note of lesbian authors I feel I must note a Swedish one that reminds me of the "licking letters"-quote. I wrote an essay on this topic a year ago that's why I know. Selma lagerlöf wrote a bunch of books both for children and for adults. I have never heard of people outside of Sweden talking about her though. She was also a feminist and worked with getting women voting rights. She got the nobel prize in 1909 as well. But now to the lesbian part... There is thousands of letters archived, I sifted through a couple and there is a lot of "love letters" sent between her and two other women. A quote translated by me is "When I saw you I had to clutch onto my seat to stop myself from running to you and kissing you silly". There is also a letter where Selma talks about how historians will react reading their letters, hinting that the letters are indeed hiding something to be found at a later date. Also she never got married and was never seen romantically with any men. There is no "official" statement on her sexual orientation but having read those letters and knowing that being gay was still a crime at that time I think it's quite obvious that she and her female "friends" shared deeper emotions.

Hell yeah I love this subreddit! :D

Just finished watching your ad for switchcraft and it was the best ad i ever got, thanks for existing and making our life better with you existence 💕

As a French man I can tell that "la confidence" does not perfectly translate into "the secret". Une confidence is a secret you reveal to someone specifically. Therefore it is something you tell, not a situation (like a relationship) you want to hide.

4:40 My straight female friend gets so much marriage pressure at 24. It sucks. She’s Just had her first boyfriend wtf, leave her alone.

i was having a bad day, and seeing this made my feel just a bit better, thanks

I was a bit terrified by where I thought 4:27 was going to go, but it ended up being one of the most wholesome things I have ever heard this ridiculously wholesome man say. I really, really want to thank Jammie for this take. As a 30 year old who only realized he's aro-ace this year, I'd always thought some flavor of traditional marriage was strictly necessary for everyone ASAP, and I'm still coming to terms with the idea that my happily ever after can be whatever I want it to be. I struggle to even imagine what it looks like, much less know how to find it, so I found this sentiment incredibly comforting.

4:45 omg yes i feel it i am 23 and been together with my first boyfriend for 3 month now and before that i have felt pressured to be in a relationship for the longest time but never found someone who had the same values as me. It had gotten to the point that i believed i would never find someone who loved me...at 23 society is crazy. I am so glad i did not just get into a relationship with someone just to have someone. Now i have the best boyfriend i could imagine and i couldn't be happier.

OMG he featured the valentine's card my wife gave me!!! (The one where she crossed out "friend" and wrote "wife" - which is also the "galentines day" one.) We're big fans of this channel so this is awesome!

This really hits home now that my girlfriend’s mother refuses to call me her girlfriend - it’s always ‘have fun with your… friend’ (and yes we have made it very clear multiple times)

I tend to go off of the 'parks and rec' definition of Galentine's, which is basically a day for women (of any preference or marital status) to get together and celebrate each other and their friendships. Many of my female friends live far from me, so it's mostly texting images and gifs back and forth...

Thanks Jammi, I really needed to hear the "You have all the time in the world"-thing today

4:29 as someone who is 27, this is so reassuring to hear! 😭❤

Hey Jamie! I saw that ad you were in, great job!

"we're all pressured so much to have our lives sorted, and br married and have children, and have a career when we've not even been adults for a decade" this resonated so much wirh me because i am sometimes so anxious for not having a solid defined niche and monetized career path at 28, but i do have some things defined and plenty of time to build that up. Do hearing this really made me feel so much calmer about it.

it’s very frustrating to think that normal people are here, listening to this and understanding and there are, very confused people who just choose to not listen and completely disregard what you say. you are great with words and control your feelings well, you’re the perfect person to talk to confused people