i hate people romanticizing toxic relationships

What’s toxic is when a woman touches another woman inappropriately and use the excuse “we have the same parts”.Most women been sexually assaulted by other women and don’t even realize it.🤦🏾‍♂️

I think it’s also weird how it’s okay for women to call little boys their “little boyfriend” but... anyways

I must admit, going from elementary, middle and high school where you have to ask permission to do anything and then going to college...big difference. It took awhile to realize that you really could just get up to get a drink, or go to the bathroom or take a call without permission. Professors just dont want the distraction of someone raising a hand, you're an adult, just get up and go.

I think the self love guy was trying to make a point about how people try to better themselves with things like fitness and mental stability without focusing on their faults so then they would start repeating the same mistakes over and over again

That last one is exactly how I've always felt and why I dont plan to have kids least anytime soon. Too many people are having kids when they aren't ready physically, emotionally, financially or while they are still dealing with their internal struggles. The generational trauma needs to stop

An extremely toxic aspect of modern culture is the get rich quick scheme life. People online sometimes think that being able to lie to multiple people and have them believe you is a strength, rather than a warning sign for mental illness. Being willing to con people, and sometimes even loved ones, out of their hard-earned money, should be seen and called out for the moral abomination that it is, immediately.

As an 18 year old everytime I get into wit my parents I always have something to say because they’re gonna run with a false narrative of me. I always reply and defend myself. They’re African so they believe I should be in a child’s place and never reply. Even when they ask. So I made sure if I had kids if they ever get in a predicament I listen to exactly what they say so we can figure out what the root of the problem is instead of shutting them down and saying they’re being disrespectful. I want them to feel comfortable enough to to speak to me.

I've hated when people say " I'm a tóxica" as if it's a cute thing. Romanticizing a toxic relationship is not cute and makes other people believe that it's normal when instead you should never have to put up with a toxic relationship with no body

We’re blk Dee so it’s dangerous to let our kids be “free”. They’re already born a threat so we have to teach them some manners, compliance, etc IF they want to be humanized but as far as the school system. I hate it... my kid only have 1 15 minute recess and the rest of it is time in the classroom.

I think his point was that people talk so much about being positive and happy with themselves, but if you don't know the reasons behind your insecurities and toxic behavior, than you're just staging about being positive. Being happy with yourself is about knowing what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you angry/insecure. So you have to discover yourself, only then you will be able to deal with your emotions and maintain a happy, healthy relationship with yourself. But most people don't do that, they just keep saying they're happy while ignoring their inner problems instead of dealing with them.

My kid has a lot of freedom but when I say stop he stops without questions I call it parenting ...

I think the self health guy meant everyone sees the self health, self love thing, as physical, but they need to dig deeper than trying to exercise, and eating healthier, but get to the root of why you want to do these things, get to the root of your insecurities, work on your mental the same way you’re trying to work on your physical, because if you don’t then you’re going to remain on the same cycle of always trying to “fix” yourself. (Also, like do this for yourself, don’t do it because you want others to look at you and feel that acceptance)

Carla was PREACHING!!! I rocking back and forth, shaking my head and clapping, like this was a church service👏🏾👏🏾😩

There are people who say girls are little heartbreakers too. The older members of my family say it all the time about my niece saying things like “She’s going to break some hearts.”

KARLA SAID NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

My mom taught me to shut up and it broke my self esteem. She told me everyday I was worthless if I didn't do better and when I did better she'd say "okay that's what you're supposed to do" so I actually agree with the first one, but I understand not wanting misbehaved children as well. But there's a difference between a misbehaved child and a child with no sense of self.

The one about the kid thing is so true. Society glamorizes having children so much to where people who can’t have children feel incomplete and useless. I know a woman who can’t have children and I’ve seen the effects that seeing families have on her. The weird thing is she never wanted kids when she was younger but through people always asking her “whEn ArE yOu HavINg KiDs” 🙄she got super insecure and it ate at her happiness and now she’s depressed.

My mom and dad would whoop me, yell at me and insult me for the slightest thing, always telling me to apologize and not talk back Now look at me. I say sorry for everything whether or not I was in the wrong. I'm timid and have social anxiety, I rarely talk back or have my own opinion and BOOM depression. And they have the nerve to ask why I'm like this.

1:53 If her child slaps her I'll bet she'll be like "they was just expressing themselves". Like the reason you tell children what to do is do that they don't become spoiled bad children. Okay, yes your child deserves and opinion and a voice but they still need to learn manners and rules.

"Kids are bad, though." right off the bat, Dee!!! LOL!

Toxic relationships are normalized and they shouldn’t what is cute and fun about a guy dragging you out a club in front of everybody that is embarrassing 😂

8:05 His point was, what is the intention behind doing all the meditation growth etc is it just to fit in, or for an ex, cause that’s toxic rather than just doing it cause you really love and accept yourself

Some people dont deserve to have kids having kids is just not about buying the cutest outfits its about making sure ur child has the best life and always feels loved😌

I think the self help guy was basically saying that people want to reach a perfect life and so they push themselves in the gym ,in their work... But don't deal with the underlying issue that facilitate those negative behaviours in the first place and so they end up hurting themselves trying to reach this impossible ideal under the veil of self help

( As a mom of four boys - loud boys) I think the first mom was trying to say that we want our kids to grow up and not just be robots. But most kids who are in public schools are put into boxes or forced to fit into spaces that they don't actually fit in. And when that's the case you do have kids who can act out. My house was rarely quiet when my boys were younger. It was rarely clean during most days. But maybe what she should have said was it's about finding a balance where you children do learn respect and responsibility because they can't do it on their own. They have to be taught ( So I don't agree with her on that part). But I do think it's important to teach your kids how to use their voice. I grew up in a "sub culture" - because of course my culture is African American, but in my corner of the world, I grew up where using your voice could get you a whipping. An adult said sit down and you took a second too long in their opinion could get you in trouble. Speaking up for yourself could be considered back talk, there was no "explaining" anything once an adult said you did something. Maybe that's not the life many others had, but it was mine. So when I had my boys, I wanted them to be able to use their voice. So no matter who it made angry - any other adult, my own mom, their teacher - I took the time to listen to my sons. To stick to the theme of this video - I think it's toxic to tell boys that it's not okay for them to cry. Or that they have to "man up" and "stop being a girl". I think when that happens you end up with a lot of angry young men who don't know how to use their words to tell people how they feel so they use their fists or worse.

I completely agree with the lady at the beginning. There's a great difference between discipline and obedience. Being an "obedient" child growing up meant for many kids that whatever abuse they suffered at the hand of adults in their lives was justified.

I hate when people think scamming is a good thing like you literally just ruined someone else's life for your own self gain. Smh

Part 2 of what Dee was talking abt at the start: Assuming ppl’s (especially children’s) sexuality and socialising them to think only straight ppl are normal is very damaging when they are actually not straight.

School isn't toxic..that lady should probably homeschool. You can't let kids do what they want. You can't be their friend. They need SOME boundaries. The same rules apply in jobs..limited breaks ect..I don't see how its "toxic"

Yeah I knew from the get go that the office life is NOT for me 😬 sitting and staring at the same 4 walls of a tiny cubicle prison, wearing a suit dress everyday, wearing a professional smile EVERY DAY, and staring at beige walls with artificial lights beaming down on you....Absolutely tf not. AND I'm being payed dirt? I refuse.

The Lady ranting about office culture was so passionate! She’s also right

One of the toxic things that is glamorize on social media: filming cases of children's trauma and then posting those short videos because they want "to educate". Within the past two years, I saw videos of children being traumatized because their parents chose to show police brutality videos and/or deep topics.

The first woman doesnt seem to realize that there is different types of way to raise your children if the child doesnt seem to voice their opinion the way the parents raised them is "Authoritarian" and the way she raised her children is Permissive. 👍🏽

The self love clip I believe was trying to bring awareness to the essence of shadow work which is digging deep within yourself to pull out the past traumas and understanding why you do the things you do. So yes your interpretation at the end was correct (in my opinion) because people really do only focus on the light and not the dark which is toxic because then that self love journey is fake and pointless.

'it's not culture it's abuse' absolutely

Dee, I definitely agree with you on the top vs bottoms thing. I think it needs to be addressed early on because I'm not about to waste a few weeks or month getting to know someone just to find out we're not sexually compatible. Ion got time for all that.

THAT LAST ONE THOOOOOOO... I always said people need to go therapy before having children.

3:51 reminded me of the quote “honesty without kindness is brutality and kindness without honesty is manipulation”

Toxic: Asking women when they’re gonna have children and if they have kids, when are you going to have another... It never happens to men.and if you say you choose not to have kids some people take offense. Like, not every woman wants kids, not every couple desire a child, and sometimes a man wants a child more than the woman. Everyone is different in their desires. Ex. I have 2 boys and I am constantly asked when I plan to have a girl. I’m not having another child. My sister does not want kids at all. She has never had that desire. She gets asked if she’s ever gonna have a child on a regular basis. It’s annoying. 🛑 stop asking.

The self help guy was saying that its ok to improve yourself but the very first thing is to understand and come to grips with what it was that made you lose your self esteem, your self worth, what caused your trauma in the first place. It was More like a face your fears/demons statement first. His message, It didnt come across well. You cannot improve yourself if you don't know what you are improving.

For the self help one he was pretty much saying that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. And people need to address the shadow side of their personalities which deals with past traumas and insecurities and such. If we’re trying to be healthy and balanced people we need to work on both the positive and negative parts of ourselves. That’s how we continue to heal. True self love and self care isn’t always beautiful, but it’s a journey worth having with all it’s ups and downs.

The way Dee smiles at 10:00 because she said “having kids” 🤣🤣

6:46 bruh i felt that ian never heard it verbalized but it make total sense i used to HATE it when ppl would be like “i can’t see u as a top” or “u definitely a bottom” based off my appearance/height/ my s/o like it shouldn’t matter 1st and 2nd that just comes across as “oh u not the man in the relationship” or “they the sub one” WE THE SAME GENDER we equals ain’t no “man” in our relationship 💀

I see her point on the overly compliant child. I have a well-mannered child but he also knows how to ask you difficult questions and is verya independent. You have to strike a balance.

His point is that things like exercising, affirmations, etc., while helpful, do not heal the wounds that you have. A huge portion of the spiritual/growth community is focusing only on the how to think and feel positive without wanting to address how you got to where you are right now. You need to question and dive into what is the root cause of those patterns and dynamics in order to heal them. Otherwise you will find yourself repeating the same patterns. Shadow Work as mentioned in the video, is the process of going into your subconscious to gain awareness of the wounds and beliefs that are impacting your life so you can heal them.

One thing i truly despise is when parents put expectations on their kids. Like my parents had these expectations of me growing up and getting this nice job and marrying a man and having kids. They don’t even stop and think like “Hey, maybe this is not what she wants”. So now as I’m growing up and learning what i like to do and who and what I’m into I’m met with these expectations that doesn’t necessarily match up with my path, and for every decision i make that they didn’t have in mind for me i get yelled at.

I'm an immigrant myself and the whole African or Indian parents hitting their kids is not something we should romanticizing about. Like the person said in the video its abuse, an abuse tht leaves scars on ur physical and mental health for the rest of ur llife. I know people who are traumatized from it and when people make tht kind of videos as something to brag about , it pisses me off. I would also like to say the star signs are also toxic too, I don't mind people discussing about them as a fun subject but when u base ur whole personality on tht sign like saying I did this because I'm a cancer or she/he did this because they're Gemini, it just sounds super weird and toxic to me.

Agree on your first point. I have also heard adults say weird shit like, "oh, he looks so grown!", "he looks like a grown man/adult" about literal toddlers. Like huh? Let kids be kids, gross.

But the top bottom thing. Its not so much about what your sexual position it, but its how lots of people think that should dictate anything else, i.e. your mannerisms, who should pay for dates, etc. Some try to heteonormalize gay interactions by transplanting it to "tops vs bottoms" and with that comes a lot of misogyny (bottom shaming). So I get what he was trying to say.

That's facts I was talking with some guy when I used to go to school and he was arguing that his parent hitting him got him not to misbehave. And now I would have had a way better response to that. That's teaching your kids through fear. They're Only doing the 'right' thing out of fear. When you get them to do it out of Love everything changes

Don’t agree with the “well behaved kids” lady. Parents can be proud of their quite/well behaving kids. Just because kid is not an asshole and respects older people that doesn’t mean parents don’t allow them to express themselves. Shouting and not caring for their people is not “expressing yourself” anyway sooo

the heteronormative influence in the lgbtq+ community part, i agreed with so strongly!!!!

Mission trips pictures in random offices... 😬 😬 😬

KZfaq trifling cuz I ain’t get a notification.. but I also agree a lot. That was actually a good compilation.😭

Hé was saying that when we do self care it’s not only about eating right or getting fit or reading books. It’s also about developing a better you, your character, know what your triggers and flaws are and find ways to improve on responding better to your triggers or making a change to some of your flaws. I see it all the time. Ppl get better jobs, material things, fitness but still have a shitty character

You look beautiful dee!!!🤩🤩

Being a sugar baby. These old men are not going to take care of you just because you're pretty. 😀 Just saying.

i loved karla. lol dee with the snapping

Also- when people feel entitled to touch you without asking..especially as a black woman- don't even think about touching my hair.

What you said in the beginning is exactly what I had to explain to an older man 🤦🏾‍♀️ people see my sons hair and automatically say that like NO I'm not raising no fuck boy

Literally watched this video last night and now Dee is reacting to this, what a coincidence 😅.

Staying in relationship for the sake of your children while not loving each other in my opinion is hella toxic and overly glamorized.

Yes!! Dee preach on the Top and Bottom shit!!! It's a waste if time then that's when they start to invite someone else in the bedroom and that doesn't always work out

8:55 what he was trying to say is that people like doing just enough self help to be trendy, but usually you have way more psychological hinderances rather than physical.

It's toxic to tell your kids they can't leave the table until they finished all their food. This leads to overeating and a lack of self-control. They are half our size. They aren't meant to eat the same proportions as you. If they don't want to eat their veggies, make them eat them first before they can go on to the rest of the meal. If they genuinely aren't eating enough, you need to focus on WHY they're not eating. If they are emotionally distressed, and they don't want to eat, forcing them to eat will turn them into emotional eaters. Y'all are setting your kids up to be OBESE. That shit is not okay.

I totally agree with the parent one! It's definitely more abuse than discipline hitting your children.

i understand what the first person is saying because i've been taught to ask before i eat something and whenever we have food and nobody is around to tell me i can eat i just wait until i can ask or dont eat at all

That first woman just be taking. Yes kids should be able to express themselves but if I shouldn't have to tell my kid more than once to do something and let them spek to me anyhow 🙅🏾‍♀️

I really appreciate what you said in th e beginning.

Love this form start to finish.

the self-care guy meant we should also aknowledge, accept and work on our bad behaviours/attitude as much as doing self-care and self-love 💗💗💗

8:01 I don't think he explained that well. I think shadow work is definitely important and is apart of self growth, they go hand in hand. It is important to uncover past trauma and toxic behavior within yourself in order to change them. Repressing your emotions to give the illusion that everything is fine is toxic.

Stop normalizing gender hate like “I hate women.” Or “I hate men.” That’s so corny and toxic.

0:55 "I want my child to have a voice..." My momma would knock my voice into the frying pan for talking back.

Yikes, the first lady. I agree with her up to saying that children shouldn't be obedient. She should've said I believe in obedience, but not being completely submissive.

I never answer ppl when they ask if I’m a top or bttm and just watch them all guess w/ each other what I am based on how I look.

That what you said there alone would make you a good mom, cause your kids wouldn't be embarrassing you in public😂😂

If we don't do the internal work the self care stuff isn't going to do much but keep us on a loop.

I love you for that first statement you made about little boys people never say that shit to little girls and it's fucking weird . And I have. Kids under 7 that I only have to tell 1 time to pick something up and they do it with no questions because they have respect for this house and they see me respecting the house and cleaning things up.

I wanna ask a question is comparing your hardship or struggles to someone else's toxic? Like saying you're in a worse situation because someone said they're in a bad situation and telling the person they need to be grateful rather than complain about it.

"off top no pun intended" THAT TOOK ME OUT 😭💀

ive definitely heard people talk about little girls saying they were going to be heart breakers

I think the self help guy was trying to say that people get on the self help train for the trend of it but don't do that actual work ..the uncomfortable part of growth. For example, posting on insta about self care trends like mediation and yoga but not addressing your trauma/ toxicity. And that first lady was just tripping because of her bad parenting. Raising kids with no boundaries or structure is also highly toxic sis

i think the guy’s point about the whole “self help” thing is that it doesn’t address mental health. if you really, REALLY want to help yourself, you need to work on your psyche. self help goes much, much, MUCH deeper than the surface.

Ayeee she posted on my bday

2:23 Dee killed me😂

I love how she says EW aggressively

She gave an entire speech defending her bad parenting she feels insecure about, I can't wait for her kids to be teenagers I wonder if she will feel the same way. Children should have a voice I agree but they also need to respect authority her kids will find themselves in dangerous situations if she don't switch her parenting won't be able to keep a job navigate social norms because they will have no control of self

9:48 I can get what he's coming from and to stop thinking it's ok to let someone be mean to you but they expect us to be perfect or be successful early or be an adult when I dont know how to be .

What do I think is glamorized but extremely toxic...coeararly toxic relationships but let me tell you what I mean,like oh yeh he/she spoils me so Ima stay with them but at the same time he/she is whoopin yo a$$ behind closed doors and it’s gotten so glamorized that it’s in songs and that girl who said “if I don’t have a man who shoots me in my feet then he don’t love me” like it’s disgusting how in the same breath you can call these people HIGH VALUE but in every aspect of life they’re a bum,a dustie and this is why I choose to educate myself and I’m not going into depth but stuff like this makes me want to start my own podcast or something bc ppl need to notice the foolery going on around us

So many people believe it's ok to hit, slap, spank and use that to discipline their kids and even defends their actions by saying it's apart of their culture or how they were raised and they don't see how that's abuse. It really does anger me how so many say that's normal and then they laugh about it because I was abused physically and verbally when I was a kid by my mom until I fought back to defend myself since she had me pinned to the floor and she would only abuse me whenever I was left alone with her.

I think the guy was saying that nobody is talking about the challenges you may face during a journey. The same thing you were saying.

Lol the first video about the kids it’s called discipline which we all need in life and obviously her kids don’t have any 🤣🤣🤣

I literally just watched this wow

WHO EVER READS THIS JUST KNOW GOD AND JESUS LOVES YOU REPENT FROM YOUR SINS BEFORE ITS TO LATE

That first woman likes her children to not obey her? Doesn't like them to do what they're being told?

😂🤣The office culture, is definitely true and I ain’t even got a job yet. I gotta office assistant certificate, for free. I just want a job and get money , save for something i actually want to do.

They do say that about little girls it just comes out different. I have 2 daughters and 1 son, older women use to always say “oh you going to need a shotgun for her cuz all the boys is going to be after her” or my favorite.... “oh you going to have to watch her cuz she going to be beautiful. She going to get whatever she want and be spoiled”

5:13 bih why’d you flinch I’m crying