Thank you for making these videos, it's tiring to see too many men who's incapable to lead in a relationship and expect women to feel safe, trust them and surrender. I hope you could be role models for many men out there, you sounds so much better than Tate.

God loves you and He sent His son to die so that you can have forgiveness of sins and eternal life..the best time to come to Him is now since we don't know when we will die

i actually really appreciate the part for leading yourself first. i realized it is stuff to lead when i don't have my own structures made or my own routines that are set in stone. and on top of this i am not holding my principles honestly

I wish I had found these vids to share with my husband before we split up! I could never really explain why I found it exhausting that he would always answer a question with a question, or why I couldn't heal from his past infidelity while he was constantly, casually, and unapologetically breaking his word about smaller stuff (because it wasn't about whether he got the dog's nails trimmed; it was about trust). Keep doing your thing! And sorry to intrude on your man-space, but I'm trying to prepare for a healthier partnership. :)

Some women cannot and will not be led. That's every woman I grew up around and the one I'm with now.

@@livehrfeiluhr1597 Wrong. You’re just not THAT GUY, pal.

@@user-xz1wy4to4o Please elaborate

​@@user-xz1wy4to4ono, he's right - just like some men have trouble leading, some women have trouble following. Both are something that takes practise. Maybe it's not as extreme as some women being completely unable to follow at all, but in practise, the level of leadership a man has to show for SOME women (usually ones with deep issues) is not realistic, and the few men that COULD do it (because they have an infinite supply of patience) are probably not going to bother with those women. My observation is that great leaders end up with, or choose, great followers and vice versa, they seem to stick together. That's just my experience. So, theoretically, are the women who are the least able/willing to follow a man's lead capable of following? Sure, bit in practise those women have troubled relationships that are unstable and don't last. E.g. women with personality disorders, substance abuse/addictions, and other issues that cause major problems in their lives and relationships. You could argue that some women are 'hard to get' and have standards, and don't follow any guy - that is not what the comment said. There really are women that don't understand how, or are even unable, to follow a man's lead, even if he is able and willing. Dance classes (good ones) are a great place to see this - sometimes the woman just won't follow a man's lead because she is doing her own thing (I.e. trying to do the dance herself instead of following the man's lead). It's actually quite subtle, but a lot of women aren't that good at it. Following does practise though

@@user-xz1wy4to4o Women in America, esp. African-American, are taught to be masculine. The 2 most common masculine traits that American women adopt are independence and strength. If a man asserts his leadership, many masculine women will not submit. They will clash. That’s why the best women, particularly for masculine men, are feminine, submissive, docile women. Less conflict. More peace of mind.

Then why the hell do you women want equality. A man being a leader indicates he is above you. You cannot have a leader and equality at the same time. Get your stories straight as to what you ladies want.

Same here. I’ve come to the same conclusion that masculine leadership is a necessity for a healthy relationship and for me to be able to maintain my femininity.

You women obviously haven't dated women. If we do what you are asking we are considered toxic and you leave. You will get no marriage or relationship from this guy and I warn all other men to do the same. It's impossible to date modern women these days

How about now? tear later.

@@johndummy3370women you date think men are toxic if you lead? Not the women in my world!

Couldn’t be anymore wrong

​@@aslysa2277Please elaborate! My father had to close his business around the time I was born, and he never got back off the ground after having 2 kids. We were very poor growing up, it took me a long time to realize I had a scarcity mindset from growing up poor, and to get over it.. So I want to have my own business running before looking for a wife & starting a family. Why do you think it's wrong?

Yes! Excellent observation

Good point.

Exactly 🧡

Bro women do that to collect data to copy us . When we use logic information and critical thing to lead they want that but it’s not in their genetics because they’re emotional .

It’s not all your fault

@@cliffchampion5501 Thank you for this. I know it isn't all me but i'm having better success moving forward taking my faults and owning them since that's really all I can do? But thank you.

I feel this comment! Everything you said, applies to me too. Appreciate your honesty and accountability. You’re a good person and hopefully you get to have a relationship with your children. I have mine half the week. I think they’re doing alright, even though they really dislike when they have to leave my place and go back to their moms. In a way I’m grateful for what’s happened, it has shown me so much.

@@rayawake Thank you for this. I've tried to be an open book when i'm able to be, and I'm also trying to accept all of my responsibility. But i'm also trying not to take her mistakes on my shoulders. Thankfully as much as I detest how things have gone compared to my vision, my ex has been great...We share my daughter 50/50 and I truly believe i've become a better man and much better father in these 8 months but I have such a long way to go. Taking extreme responsibility has been huge for me.

zThe name of the video is “how women train men to be angry”

Can’t do this on thurs-Saturday in a busy city when reservations are needed

I seen that trick😂🤣😂

She could also say “oh please don’t say it’s that place again? It’s the last thing I wanna eat today”

@sharkoj lol yeah but I don't use it often because we always cook at the house. Still works like a charm😆

@@ReigningFlame Don't make it complicated: Instead of asking her where she wants to eat, just decide yourself! Just pick a place. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter anyway where you ate that day.

Glad that the video resonated with you. Agreed, relationship skills do take practice and self-awareness.

Ughhh the practice part

💯 I needed this reminder

Glad the content landed with you and was helpful!

Absolutely this. There are women that just do not want to be led, and will get defensive and irritated by you trying to lead even when you've proven time and time again that your leadership has enjoyed positive outcomes in the past. When women refuse to relax into their feminine energy thereby try to compete with the man's masculine energy, this can cause such conflict that is difficult to impossible to resolve. Men, just leave these women that refuse to relax into their feminine. They ultimately want a feminine man to control instead of a masculine man they can support and nurture. The only masculine types that can control these types of women are toxic and controlling types because that's what these women are used to: abusive or neglectful men. After the break-up, she ended up just getting a little dog that was previously neglected from a close family member of hers, something she can control, a reflection of her family's dysfunctional dynamic.

Well said!

Glad to hear it. Let me know if there are other topics / questions you think I should cover.

I agree.

@@ManTalksthis is exactly what I needed to hear and exactly the things and issues I’m partaking in

Outstanding. Glad it hit home.

Thanks for that explanation on the male perspective. It makes sense. I always have wondered in this situation where and why the resentment comes in. You've answered that for me and from your experience I can be a better woman. Thanks so much! 😊

I hear you… you’re among other friendlies here that can relate… but, and I say this to myself first; get your shit together, brother, and DO BETTER. I have work to do… you have work to do… we got this.

same brother

Glad to hear it and hope you enjoy some of the other videos.

Thanks Reginald!

Sounds a lot like my wife! While I'm not that good at not reacting, I'm quite good at observing and understanding where things come frome. With my wife this dificulty in accepting mistakes comes from her family and upbringing, especialy her father. The man is buried so deep in insecurity and judgment that he just can't deal with mistakes and people not agreeing. This is a person who views any kid of mistake as a judgment of caracter, if you fail once he emidiatly labels you as incompetent and dumb and that's it! He also makes up all kinds of stupid stories to cover up for his mishaps and mistakes, I mean really, really stupid stories, he only cares about having an excuse. This obviously created all kinds of judgemental and thrusting difficulties on my wife and her mother. My wife has been slowly making progress, she is very aware of the problem and she does make a huge effort, but the damage is so deep that she has a really hard time not jumping to judgments and conflict every time something doesn't go as planned.

@@antoniomonteiro7783 that partner in my story had a very similar upbringing. Its a tough thing to get through. I dont want to have constant arguments, especially over semantics. Glad yall are making progress, wish yall the best

You heard that too lol

Ocd is part of the anxiety disorder.

Damn

Wow

That sounds like someone who will never be happy and will continue to bring you down. I’d be off after the second one, let alone five to six.. screw that!

So few women are worth the effort.

@@kollowshouldn’t you want to make the effort for your own life? After a certain age how do so many men not have a plan for their lives

I love INTPs! I wish I could meet more of you guys irl. Definitely my crowd! - fellow infp

1. Leading has nothing to do with her and everything to do with you and the vision and strategy you create for your relationship, family, and, at it's best, your larger community as well. What you're talking about here is a cycle of defensiveness where she thinks you've done something wrong and confronts you and you're probably calmly trying to explain yourself. That's not really about leadership, except that if you want your relationship to be full of understanding and connection then you can cause that by leading with compassion for how she's feeling before trying to explain whether or not you meant to do the thing she's complaining about and what happened on your side. Once she feels compassion from you she'll be more likely to listen to what you have to say. One can have compassion for an experience someone is having regardless of whether you are actually the direct cause of that experience, regardless of their rightness or wrongness about you causing it. 2. One fact about the world to accept is that if you're wrong you're wrong. It doesn't matter how "right" you were before. If you feel she's nagging in response to you doing wrong, that can be addressed separate from doing the wrong thing, or failing to do the right thing. Nagging is also wrong. Usually people handle nagging by setting a particular time, like once every two weeks, to talk through issues that bother the other person rather than ranting on them every single time they happen. Plus, you can negotiate how many "things" you can improve at a time. Like she cant ask you to improve in 5 areas at once. She can pick one, and if you're leading the relationship you can suggest what area of personal improvement you feel would best serve the relationship 3. Some women are used to taking control, but all women want to led in some way. Some are afraid to be led. Some dont trust others to lead for specific reasons. Those are probably the reasons you'll want to unpack. The first thing is the vision though. An unselfish vision for your relationship and family first. A very clear vision and strategy. Then you just have to show her you're going to work towards that regardless of what she's going to do. You're driving the boat, if she wants to come then she'll hop in. As you get push back you can deal with the specific feelings inside of her around the push back, which will definitely take time but isn't impossible. Leadership isn't making all the decisions though. The vision is guiding the decisions. If she has a better way of getting from A to B and she tells you then of course take that. But if you say we're going to take a right and a left and she says you should do a left then a right then that's just being argumentative. You should explain to her that it derails where you both want to go in the relationship if she argues to drive a separate path that materially isn't better than what you articulated for getting to the goal. You'll have to point it out when she does it, but she'll learn. As long as she sees you trying to make a vision happen intentionally and taking extreme ownership for getting there she'll appreciate that more than you not doing it. As long as your vision isn't selfish, that's also where men go wrong sometimes.

​@oakinwol i appreciate your comment. I guess I do lack in vision for myself and us exactly and that makes me feel unsure where and why we are going there and it doesn't allow me to try and lead consciously. I do struggle a lot with reactive answers from her side and triggers which I will be exploring more this year

Of course men don't lead in relationships anymore, why would they? Woman have been shouting for equality with income, responsibility and relationships. You've asked for an equal partnership and now you have it. Don't complain for something women fought so hard to get. Were all equal now, nobody leads or is above the other.

​@@johndummy3370definitely she did some thinking after reading your comment 😂

​@@bedabratdutta7367🤣

@@johndummy3370the truth hurts

A tale as old as time. Also a lesson I had to learn by experience. Hope you’re doing well now buddy.