My mother had a beautiful transition as well and was not conscious!! We too were blessed with her opening her eyes wide open and the biggest smile ever and then gently closed her eyes again. That was approx an hour or so before she passed. May I ask you a question? Did you mother know Jesus as her Savior?

the woman in the clips is not conscious so I'm not sure why you needed to mention that.

My mother went in a similar manner. I was there to witness her final breath. Still not sure if it was a blessing or a curse!

Thank you. I had the same experience with both of my parents. This is only SOME patients.

Look up Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇

Very sorry for your loss.

Deeply sorry for your loss! 😥😥

♥️

Likewise here. My dad passed in September, and her videos helped me through his last few hours.

❤

I'm not ready to see my mom pass and I'm 41, never married and no kids and I'm scared to be alone. 😣

I'm glad you got to be with your mom at the end. My mother always told me as well that she didn't want to die alone. When she went in 2020 bc of COVID, the hospital wouldn't let any of the family be with her in her final moments. I told them calmly she told me for years she didn't want to go alone but they didn't care and seemed to enjoy my frustration. So thinking I had nothing to lose I charged toward her room only to be tackled by 3 guards who then beat me savagely, and I was arrested. I then got fired at my job bc of the arrest and my wife divorced me. I spent 6 months in jail all bc I wanted to be with my mom when she went. I just hope she knows how hard I tried and how cruel humans can be towards other humans

@@BenDover91187 man that's horrible...I am so sorry. , 😞

@@BenDover91187 next time requst hospice they bring you loved one home to you

What kind of family films a relative dying? Then has put on KZfaq?

I was gonna comment the same. Thank you very much for letting us know. 😊

The person passed away and people doing this for educational purpose. They are not disrespecting the person in the video 😅

@@theminegirl3775 I'm assuming from reading the comment the OP is talking about it being "risky sharing an intimate moment like this on the Internet" because of all the anonymous people hiding behind their screen that feel it is in anyway appropriate to type nasty, hurtful things. Knowing how intentionally cruel some people can be for no reason on social media, the family was still kind enough to share this moment for educational purposes.

Did this women gave her agreement? If not, what gives the family the right to put out these videos? Should not be published at all. It's disgusting and derogatory to make money on fucking youtube out of that.

Very true!!!!

Yes and to veterinarians as well who have to put our pets "to sleep". They have a high "self deletion" rate--maybe primarily because of this--and I want them to know that they are very much appreciated.

@@RealHomeRecording ,

For real. My bosses wife is a hospice nurse and I have no idea how she can be the beaming person she is. Guess it's a different respect for life.

@@NoreenaEckert thank you for all you do ☺ I just ran across your site and I am glad I did as I am getting older now and have always wondered about these things.

So true. One of our local and much loved vets took the 'self deletion' route as having to put any animal to sleep weighed so heavily on him. A lovely man and much missed.@@RealHomeRecording

KNOW JESUS CHRIST or there is plenty to fear.

I’m sorry for your loss

Glad that he knew Jesus!

Yeah, I was alone when both of my Parents passed. I believe it was Lord that got me through. And I believe it was meant to be

You are a good daughter. People don't understand unless they have been through it themselves. I believe part of us dies with them when they go as it never feels the same again.

DAwnhasbtoken6304. I'm sorry for your loss. I was at my Mom's bedside when she passed too. It was difficult, but very peaceful.

@@tomsmith8511 Part of us dies with them, but they also leave a piece of themselves with us. I like to think that it fills the hole they leave in our hearts slowly over time. We never stop missing them, but we do begin to heal. 💔❤️‍🩹♥️

I’m so sorry that you went through that. I can imagine how traumatic that would’ve been. Sending love ❤

I, too, was with my grandmother when she passed. This was in the hospital. The nurse explained to my mom and me what would happen as far as the breathing so we wouldn't think she was gasping for air in a traumatic way. Anyway, she passed, at 92, just as we were told. That was 22 years ago and I miss her more than ever.

I was with my 94 year old aunt for her final days and it was just like this too. My cousin and I traded time slots as we refused to let her be alone when she passed. I cherish the time spent with her. She finally passed about 15 minutes after I left one day and we like to think she was staying strong and didn’t want to go with me there. She waited until my cousin Dee, her main caretaker, was there and I was gone. I really miss her.

Same here, but with my dad. It was so hard to see him so frail and small - this man who used to lift me up off the ground when he hugged me. My mom and sister went home, knowing he would likely not last the night. That’s still unthinkable to me… but it did mean I got to be there alone with him at the end and like you, it felt like an honor ❤

@@Teal_Seal I'm so about the loss of your dad, so sad. I'm so glad that you got to be there with him at the end though, that's great.

@Image-X I agree. I really feel that they know who is around them. My whole family was around my dad when he passed except for my brother he just left the house because he was feeling like he just couldn't cope at the moment and it was within 5 minutes after he left the house that my dad passed. We called him my brother back after he passed.

Jason did you read my comment??? MY HUSBAND HAD ZERO DRUGS!

That was such a blessing ma'am!

Thank you😊

Thank you for all this information Wish I had known all these symptoms when my dad passed years ago You're much appreciated

Your videos and crusade to normalize the dying and death experience is so honest, sensitive, and educational. As I prepare to say goodbye to my Dad, these have provided a sense of ease and normalcy that remove fear and provide peace. Thank you.

I described this similarly. I felt like I supported my dad through "labor" into his next phase.

That's a really beautiful way to look at it

Many people's worst fear is dying alone. I was there along with other close relatives when my grandmother died. It put her at peace/made her happy that all of her immediate family was there during her final moments. I cried typing that out but would have regretted NOT being there.

Look up Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇

That's wonderful. I hope I can think of it that way when my moms' time comes. Thank you!

Dont thank them unless the lady gave them permission before hand. This is so personal and should be treated as such unless she wanted to share it

I watched and took care of my dad given him his last dose of morphine And a couple other end of life care medications he needed To stay relaxed because he had terminal agitation badly until we got it under control, He had a l s and I had the privilege of caring for him until the end. A horrific disease to watch someone die from But hospice was a godsend for my family and him. He did suffer 3 days until we got him super medicated With the agitation But I hear that is somewhat normal for some people Without hospice he would not have had a peaceful Final transition. When I saw a l s I felt compelled to reply to your comment I am sorry for your Loss.

@lc4life369 that’s what I was thinking as well.

​@@Trinabiss97they posted it to social media so clearly they want the public to see it.

Look up Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇

Yes I felt the same about when my mum passed away. I actually used the words horrific. We wasn't given any help from the palliative care so didn't know what to expect, or do.

Yes, I agree with your statement. I wish I knew then what I know now.

Just posted the same , lost someone I was with for 42 years.

I feel what you all feel now. 💜

Me too!

Thank you for your support to the recently deceased.

Thank you for your role in many families' lives and for your lovely words.

I agree. So much thanks to the family for sharing the video and I’m so sorry for your loss :(

Reminded of losing my dad to lung cancer at his last week.

@@melbourneausttours I’m so, so sorry to hear this, friend. I lost my dad back in 2014 and I still miss him every single day. I’m thinking of you, and of all those who loved your dad.

How do YOU know they are comfortable and at peace?

@@su-rv2uq What makes you think she's not at peace or comfortable? Surrounded by family at her last moments of this life. Why wouldn't she be?

​​@@mesister3862I watched my twin sister die. She was only 55 and the amount of trauma, I continue feeling 2 years later, tells me it wasn't "comfortable" at all. Maybe the difference between old age dying and dying from being in a difficult shutdown of the body?

Is that how you want to die? We aren’t being told the age of these people or what is killing them. We also don’t know which drugs have been administered. I have been with two members of my family when they died and both went to sleep and never woke up. I heard no gurgling noises. I understand that the gurgling is produced during to bodily fluids in the throat, but neither my mother nor my nephew made those sounds. My nephew was on a morphine driver due to cancer but my mother was not, she had a massive stroke that shut down her brain. When my time comes, like everyone else, I want it to be quick and painless. I don’t want to hang on for weeks, wasting away in a coma.

@@lorireed8046 The medical profession are, imo, far too comfortable with the word “comfortable.” We had massive scandals in the UK because doctors were writing in peoples charts that they were to be made “comfortable.” What that actually meant was put them on a morphine driver and kill them off so we can free up some beds. It was absolutely disgusting. The nurses are not absolved from guilt - they are the ones who actually carried out the doctors’ orders!! It was a bit like the workers at Auchwitz blaming Hitler for their operating the gas chambers.

Hi Tammy, how's your day going with you?

Good morning Tammy, how was your night?

I lost a sister about 5 years ago to cancer. Her nurses were so gentle with her and answered our questions in a calm, matter-of-fact way and encouraged us to gently touch her, talk to her, hold her hand, whatever we thought might bring her comfort. I don't know if she knew we were even there, but it helps to think that maybe she did know.

I hope He IS LORD of your life as He says Why do you call me LORD when you do not do as I say? and share with others the gospel (which He also expects of us.

100 years, what a great and blessed age.

What do you mean they go in threes? You always lose 3 at the same time?

@@badchunky1 so for some reason it’s a phenomenon that happens in the medical field. I’ve done geriatric care for 8 years and I specialize in Alzheimer’s disease. I truthfully don’t know how to explain it and I doubt nurse Julie would either because who knows why it happens. We just know when 1 goes atleast 2 more will follow shortly after. Some times you’ll get lucky and only lose the one. Being in hospice though it’s what is inevitable as they are out on these services to pass away.

She means she helps kill them- 3 at a time.@@badchunky1

I completely believe in this phenomenon. I'm not a Hospice Nurse, but I've experienced this throughout my entire life. Any time I've lost a friend or family member, it always seems to happen in threes. When I lose one, I immediately wonder who is gonna go next. It never fails. I recall spending time with my great grandmother, who was Cherokee Indian. She was a very spiritual soul, and she was the one who first told me about the phenomenon. I never thought much about it until I became older and started losing loved ones. It ALWAYS happens in threes. 🕊

⁠@@Amberlynn2228 To lose one patient, nurse Lynn, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose two looks like carelessness. To lose three…

My sincere condolences! I am sorry for your loss, two parents in such a short time....

🙏Sending hugs, love, light, and my deepest condolences. They know you were there til the end. God bless you, and your loved ones 🙏❤️‍🩹

sorry for you loss but how do you know they were not in pain???

I'm still traumatized from losing dad 2 years ago 😭😭

I feel you so deep❤ They do hear you. 100%! My aunt was dying of brain cancer. She was more like a sister since my grandma raised me. We lost my dad to addiction many years earlier and she had told me her biggest fear was my grandma seeing her die. Her last day, she had been basically unconscious for 2 weeks. The tumor had robbed her of communication. I got home to switch out my grandma and she had the “death rattle” for hours by that time. My grandma finally went to bed and I stayed with her for an hour talking and that I would keep her promise. And then she died. There’s not another feeling in the world like watching someone you’ve loved your whole life die. I don’t even cry anymore. 4 years later I held my grandma as she died and I don’t remember if I cried or not. I think I felt relief because she was so sick and I still feel I should have done more. I am not proud of myself that I couldn’t face her more towards the end. I was suffocating. 10 years of my life vanished while I was trying to work and save their lives. They all died anyway and all I got was 10 years lost.

I would like to send you a virtual hug. I am so very sorry for your loss and for the pain you have suffered. Chin up, my lovely. With love from Christine x

I also wish I had found Nurse Julie's channel before losing my Mom in 2016 from cancer & Dad in 2019 from heart failure! I'm happy to hear you were strong enough to get sober again CONGRATULATIONS!!🎉💪🥳 I on the other hand tried commiting suicide with drugs after Mom passed away & ended up in ICU for 6 days then a psych ward for 3weeks! Tried staying straight for Dad but when he passed I feel like I died with him! Can't wait to be with them again! 🕊️💔

Congratulations on your sobriety!!!

I wished I knew this before I went through my first death process, losing my father and going through it did some trauma to me as well. ❤

@@lifesabitch8012 thoughts with you. Wishing you health and happiness

Same thing happened with me and my nan, had no idea what I was about to walk into and now I can't get the image out of my head!

💗💗💗💗💗

I know what you mean, I was at the hospital sitting next to my mother when she died. They had her knocked out and she died in her sleep. So sorry for your mom. But our moms are better now they are in Heaven.

My mother went unconscious. She just went from there. I don’t remember any gurgling or that fish out of water breathing. Everything just stopped. She didn’t want even an iv. So probably died of dehydration when she wasn’t drinking anymore. I don’t know. Before she got to the last stage she tried to get out of bed. She didn’t know what she was doing. We settled her back down and that was the only time she did that. I was wondering if that was an involuntary flight reaction. It was surprising and I’m so glad she didn’t try that when nobody was in the room. Very special mother to us all.

God be with you and give you comfort and peace in Jesus name. Holy Spirit surround them and protect them in Your Love in Jesus name.

My apologies if this sounds insensitive, but I was wondering; Would you rather not seen it..? I feel like if this would be someone close to be this would never leave my mind… ☹️

❤🧡🧡💛💚💚💙💜💜🤎

💗💗💗💗💗

My Mom has Alzheimer’s. Thank you for sharing your story. My wish is she goes at home and peacefully.

I like your description of this rather than watching this video. I get that it's for educational purpose but I don't think it should be even filmed. Nearly everyone will see someone go through this so no need to show it. Describing it is sufficient.

Gosh, the way you describe the process also got me thinking it is like birth in reverse.

it's a 're'-birth. ;-) @@philippamediwake1235

​​@@Dahmer_Jeff I think it depends on the individual. Personally, I prefer to be able to see what the stages of death are than having it described. When my MIL was in the stages of dying, the nursing staff at the aged care home described to me what to expect. Even though it was described to me, I was not prepared for those stages and it caused me worry and angst. Having seen my MIL pass away in 2019 prepared me for my 86 year old Dad's passing in 2020 and my 90 year old FIL's passing in January of this year. I consider it a privilege to have been by their side as they were in the process of leaving this Earth. Hard to see your loved one die, but an honour to be by their side.

So sorry for your loss.

I did the same with my Mom. I would count how many seconds between gasps and at the end I knew.

🥰🥰🥰🥰- thank you 🥰

Thank you Jeff for all you do

I live in n indiana my ex husband is scared of hospice he thinks it means death. Can u dm some thing to help him w his fear . He has end stage nash liver kidney heart and very confused weak pale and can't rly eat much

I am so sorry to hear of that experience for you with your Mum. But I am glad you can have your mind put at ease by watching these educational pieces now ❤

I’m so sorry that the staff did not prepare you properly or respectfully. When my grandmother passed after a serious stroke almost 5 years ago, I really appreciated how much the staff at her LTC facility (after she was transferred back from the hospital for palliative care) helped us to recognize and track the signs that she was near to death. It was not easy to witness, but it was reassuring to know that breathing patterns like this were completely normal. She lost the ability to speak after the stroke, and that was tough because we all wanted to be sure we were following her wishes. The night she passed, me, my sister, my dad, my uncle, and our spouses spent the evening just hanging out with her around her bed, talking and joking with each other. Eventually I had to go home to my little kids, and my sister stayed by her side reading to her until she passed in the middle of the night. She commented on how her breathing changed again right before she passed, like Julie showed. My sister noticed it and squeezed my grandmother’s hand and told her it was ok to go ❤ I’m so thankful that she had someone beside her right until the end. This video is so helpful, and really lines up with what we experienced sitting with my grandmother.

Thank you ❤️

@@hospicenursejulie Thank you for your videos. I’m trying to prepare for my son’s Stage 4 cancer demise. He was offered hospice by his oncologist 3 months ago but does not want to admit this is the end. It breaks my heart.

@@CheriDawn❤

@@CheriDawn has he accepted palliative care? I’m not sure how close he is, but the difference (in his particular case, nuanced) is that people can receive palliative care in a number of different scenarios including when the patient has years left or while they’re still being treated with curative intent. That difference in “definition” may be a good compromise for him, psychologically, and would allow him to receive the benefits of help with his physical pain, spiritual health, and mental health. I’m not certain if he’d qualify for this on an outpatient basis since he’s already been considered to qualify for hospice. It may be worth asking about anyway, even if the answer is no. You’ll know in your heart that you tried everything you could to support him. 🙏🏼💔

@@ahk1213 Thank you for your reply. He is on palliative care now. His bone cancer spread to his lung 3 1/2 months ago. His oncologist offered him Hospice but he declined. ❤️

My brother, sister & I were with Momma when she took her last breath. That sound haunted me for years every time I closed my eyes. I never want to experience that sound again and I've told my kids that I do not want them to witness that with me or their daddy. I admire those of you that have peace from being there when your loved ones passed. I was with my husband's grandmother when she passed and the weeks leading up to that point and it was a beautiful experience. I was in aww at how different it was.

It will get better. My mom just passed on Oct 7 and for a long time, her last couple of days in hospice were all I could think of when thinking of her. I still do, but not as much. Look at your photos and videos of your dad and of you and other family with him often. I've been doing that and it makes me feel so much better when I feel really down.

@@christenm3200 Momma has been gone 24 years. Unfortunately, I can't say it's gotten better for me yet

@@susiedupree1253 I'm so sorry. Everyone's experiences are so different. I'm not sure if for me, it's because I grew up moderately religious and as a teen/adult, I've found myself very spiritual. I still pray every night and now I add a little bit at the end where I specifically address my mom- tell her that I love her and miss her so much. Then I spend a couple of minutes talking to her like I would when I'd come home from school or during a phone call after work, or whatever. Tell her about things going on and things she wasn't physically present for, special events like how we celebrated a holiday or someone's birthday, or big events like a graduation or a wedding. Sometimes I feel better after, like it was cathartic, and sometimes it depresses me and I cry myself to sleep. Sometimes making the person a special part of a daily routine can help you to feel comforted rather than sad. It's a really delicate balance; I know there are certain cultures that continue to set a place for the person at the dinner table and that comforts some people but that would really depress me. I hope you're able to find peace and comfort where you can.

This is actually my biggest fear regarding the death of my parents, that I will be haunted by the last days of their life and when I remember them it will be as they were in those moments

I’m so sorry for your loss. Me and my dad and brother watched my mom die of cancer and a stroke after being in hospice care for a week. It’s so hard to witness a loved one going this way.

Hi Kathy, how's your day going with you?

How old were you when your father passed way

@@tpfmike1976 I was 43.

I'll have to agree with you and I don't believe dying atleast in such ways is not agonizing and an extremely difficult process for the one dying....It's not like they just pass quickly I've been with several of my family members and I could tell its not painless without struggle...I hope I go quickly I'd rather be able to take a drug and pass quickly within 5 minutes or less not laying there for days struggling to stay alive....My grandfather passed this way on my 21st birthday me by his side and thru the 2 week process it was terrible people kept telling me just to him its ok to let go he told me boy are you crazy I wanna live!!!...I'm glad I was next to him and shared the suffering with him.....

@@megclifton6692 Wow.. i think this is exactly how my Dad would have responded if he could still talk during his last few days. He was confined in the hospital twice in a month’s time, first was around 11 days - that’s when he started having difficulty talking to no talking anymore - then second was around 3days and was sent home coz they said it’s about a matter of days or so before he passes… on the day he died, I remember my Mom whispering to him and I knew she said that “It’s ok to let go” and boy I knew if my Dad could still talk and open his eyes, he would have said the same thing that he still wants to live! Coz even after all the pain he was going through, he just kept fighting and even told me and my brother in our language “I will still live long” - that was one month and a half or so before he passed. That was what was also painful to me. That he really didn’t wanna go yet. Even if he knew he was terminally ill. He was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer June 2021 and passed away October 3, 2023. His face was in pain upto the last day 😪

@@megclifton6692 I’m also wishing we could all just pass away peacefully right? Just thinking about how my Dad was makes me cry coz I really pitied him. Doctors didnt even give him anything for pain management.

@@megclifton6692 Seriously man, that looks fucking terrifying. I‘ll rather blast myself with a 9mill than going through that.

It will get better. 😊

Sorry for your loss, may God give the strength you need to endure such a loss, hugs to you

'alegna' ---- Find a local Hospice. Mine had an excellent grief counselor. I went about 10 months after my wife passed away. Sessions were difficult, but did help immensely.

My mum died 4 years ago and this was very hard to watch. Instead of thinking about the good times I always see her in her final moments like in this video.

God bless you❤ Your Mom is happy and serene with God and other family members

I'm sorry you've had to carry that, I hope now you might find a measure of peace. Your Mother is free, please take care of yourself and let go of that trauma lovey.

I feel you 😢 and so sorry for your loss, pls see my comment

Likewise!

I did the same for my Mum as she passed, whispered in her ear that everything was going to be okay and I was there and it was okay to let go. It's so hard to give them the permission to end their pain and begin our grieving. I had googled end-stages and was prepared for what was going to happen, so I knew when she started to pause her breathing that it was time. I called the nurses and some family to let them know, and then the world stopped for a time as we sat by her while she passed. It was surreal.

I can tell you your Mother felt Fantastic !!! I had a Motorbike Crash and a Stroke years later. It's a better feeling than anything you could ever Imagine. It happened twice to me !!! I stopped breathing both times !!! I am not at all afraid of Dying now I know what it's really like !!!

Thank you so much!

I hope it okay to add this. Yes. Thank you.I want to understand these things and have never seen them. Your videos are beautifully done. I think at conception, just like with all living things, there is this magnificent energy that forms the baby, then comes birth, then the great unfolding of growing up, then the energy for decades that coasts along, then wanes and we grow older. Then just like all living things, the energy winds down. We expire and become stardust again. So to me, this precious woman is winding down to become stardust again, and this is the last part of that. Thank you for helping me understand that.

@@velvetbees I love your words. I feel the same, but you expressed it so well.

@@ingriddoerksen9518 Thank you. 😊🌺🦋

Thank you, Bri....❤.

My daughter is an RN in hospice care and absolutely loves it. unfortunately, younger nurses all want to work in delivery. The true heroes are the nurses that are there at the end when people are experiencing the hardest step in life and quite often they are going through it alone.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

@@ijustrealllylikecats Thank you. I truly appreciate it. 🕊️❤️‍🩹

I'm sorry for your unexpected loss.

So sorry for your loss...that was a very kind and selfless decision to make, and I'm sure it was a very difficult one.

@@snowygirl131 Thank you so much. He felt ill and started losing weight…gone in 2 weeks. ❤️‍🩹🕊️

This reminds me of a family member who died. She was not that old but during the last couple of months she drastically went down in weight. Her skin felt papery which i had only felt previously on a neighbor who was easily 40 to 50 years older. That memory of her came back to me recently when another family member from same household got deathly sick. She seems to be healing, but required really risky surgery and became even thinner than the family member who died. Even her voice was drastically different. Very quite, horsed, and as if she somehow smoked 50 years of cigars in a couple of months. I first thought she was operated on her throat, but is “just” a side effect of her surgery.

I also lost my mother to cervical cancer. She was diagnosed too late and had lost a lot of weight. I was 7 years old when I stood there next to her bed in hospice. I wish you and your family well.

The cancer killed her sorry to say..a misdiagnosis is that but cervical cancer would have beat most things they would have tried

Mine Also died because of a misdiagnosed colon cancer. I don't think these videos Make the pain any better.

@@carle5538 So true. It's like they make those awful times anew.

Same here. While being said it is normal process and no pain, it still looks a torture to go through.

I agree the clips were not meant to disturb, but in my mind how the does anyone know what the patient is going through just because it happens all the time does not me there is no suffering and in my opinion if you are that weak you could not raise much of a fight to say or prove you are in pain, I find this very disturbing and only creating fear and if euthanasia was allowed it would be far better to be put to sleep with a needle just in case.

​@@timoshea1767exactly normal doesn't mean there were no pain we in our religion believe that there will be different death different angels for bad people and good people the bad people will have painful death so I don't know, do you guys also believe in this?

ICU RN here. Don’t panic - this woman was relaxed and not struggling. A painful death looks very different.

​@amirhamza7610 I think death is a neutral force in the world that has no bearing on morality of the dying. It wouldn't make sense because it's subjective and death isn't subjective

I think your father would want you to know that nothing you did was wrong. You were scared and no one told you what to expect. I lost my beautiful maternal grandmother at the rehabilitation place. My uncle called us and said that after they had left for the night she passed. They called him to let him know. When my sister asked me if we should go up to see her, she had fallen and broken her hip. They repaired it and sent her to the rehab place where she died peacefully (they said). I still have guilt and remorse for not going up to visit, but I had a dream once that I was looking at a painting of her when she was in her 30s, and her arms came out of the picture to hug me. When we visited her at the funeral home, she looked like she was sleeping. That was the first time I ever felt like "I wanted to crawl in the coffin with her" feeling. I laid my head on her chest and told her how much I loved her and that I was sorry for not being there when she passed. Whenever I find a dime in a strange place I know it is her telling me that she loves me. I mean I have found dimes in pretty strange places believe me. Like on a kitchen counter after I have cleaned like a maniac and could swear there was nothing there, then I look down, and there is a shiny dime. There were times in the car when I would go out there and cry and I would feel something under my rear, get up, and there was a dime! So many places, so many times. I was the love of her life Grandchild. #1, We had so much in common most of all our reading. She even came to the hospital when I was coming clean and sober, went to all the AA meetings with me, etc... Even when she was mad at me, I always knew I was loved. My mom on the other hand has forgotten what it means to have a beloved child. Now that I have a daughter of my own, I know what unconditional love is, and I don't get that from my mom. I try to understand but I don't. She is a bitter person who will end up dying with no one who loves her near. I can't do anything to change those dynamics. I forgive her but don't want to be around her as her every word is a criticism. Oh well, such is life I guess. I like these videos because she normalizes things instead of us being scared of death. Thank you nurse Julie.

You did what you thought was the best… your daddy knows that

@@ericksaavedra8613 Thank you erick. Your post response came right on the day I really needed to hear it :)

@@kathleenkenyon1583 thank you very much for sharing the lovely story with your grandmother. I got in so deep and lost reading your post and felt like I watched a movie of your life. I saw your journey. I read it numerous times. The love you shared with your grandmother echoed thru beautifully with your words. Sadly your mother and daughter missed a great opportunity of joy in having a close relationship with you. We must accept cruel destiny sometimes, such is life. I applaud your strength in staying sober. I have a similar background. 17 years sober and clean here. Also, I am familiar with the story of dimes, many of my friends had this happen too with them - I told my dad in prayers to make it a hundred bill if he wants to let me know he is around lol. I wish you a healthy, abundant and fantastic year ahead friend!

The best gift you gave him was to pray for him

Yep, I had the old optimistic denial trope when the nurse said my dad maybe 2 weeks left to live. Sure enough he got home on the 26th of June they put him on hospice and he went on the 11th of July, they’re not wrong, I was just trying to accept and cope with the inevitable.