This is Why You're Not Happy and How to Fix It | The Mel Robbins Podcast

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Mel Robbins

Mel Robbins

Күн бұрын

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In this episode, you and I are getting intentional about your #happiness.
Happiness is misunderstood.
Fortunately, there’s a ton of research that explains why it can be so elusive and, even better, HOW you can create a happier life, starting today.
Today’s conversation about happiness begins with breaking down the two types of happiness and why it’s important for you to include both in your life.
You’ll also learn four practical takeaways that #research says are key for cultivating more happiness in your daily life.
Xo Mel
In this episode, you'll learn:
00:00 Intro
03:52 Can’t remember the last time you were truly happy? You’re not alone.
05:04 Does this happen to you when you chase happiness?
08:21 What do we mean by happiness, anyway?
09:24 You knew this was coming- my favorite metaphor for happiness!
10:43 Science puts happiness into these two buckets.
13:38 The problem when you’re on a big healing journey and what to do about it.
22:23 Can you feel happy even during the mundane, ordinary days?
24:10 Believe it or not, here’s where you find true happiness.
26:48 This is the single best decision you can make to cultivate happiness.
30:12 This is how your brain reads loneliness because you’re meant to connect.
35:02 Building warm relationships starts here.
37:25 Here’s how I reorganized my own life to stop feeling lonely.
39:32 My mom is a pro at this and research shows it will boost your energy.
43:41 What do you need to know about feeling inner peace?
45:57 Here’s why older people tend to be happier.
47:48 Three surprising ways to actually invite more peace in your life.
Listen to the #podcast episode "Unlock a Happier Life: 3 Research-Backed Secrets" - link.chtbl.com/DAinFkFf?sid=e...
#behappy #happy
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Пікірлер: 422
@melrobbins
@melrobbins 6 ай бұрын
Your happiness starts now! I loved recording today’s episode, and I hope you enjoyed watching it too. If you did, it would be amazing if you dropped a like and subscribed for more episodes like this in the future.
@margoquintana2283
@margoquintana2283 6 ай бұрын
As always, Mel, great content. Insightful and easily digestible, delivered with your trademark ascerbic wit. How's that for high word density? ❤
@regcrowder9010
@regcrowder9010 5 ай бұрын
Hi Mel! I have subscribed.
@regcrowder9010
@regcrowder9010 2 ай бұрын
Thank you for this ❤️
@Nothing_anything126
@Nothing_anything126 2 ай бұрын
Whatever advice you gave to reach true happiness is something that is temporary..... true happiness is something that can be achieved to embrace the truth in the first place.... when you accept The one ( Alloh) who created the whole word including all living things and universe..... then you will start to have true happiness..... Ashhadu Anna ilaha Illaloh va Ashhadu anna Muhammadin Abdu Huva Rasulluoh. This is what makes you feel happy in this temporary world.
@mandybutler347
@mandybutler347 2 ай бұрын
@CloMcMack
@CloMcMack Жыл бұрын
For me, my peace started when I left where I was living. I now have zero friends where I live but here's what happened--it allowed me to focus on me, my life (that I wanted) and focus on the important things like making sure I was calm, healthy, strong. This is the first time in my entire life that I can say, "I love my life" and it's not because things are easy but it's because I'm calm. I have peace. And, that brings me joy. I just started making friends in my local area but I am guarded to only allow those in my circle who are good for me and my children.
@oneofthosecreativetypes24
@oneofthosecreativetypes24 Жыл бұрын
You give me hope! Thank you.
@stacyjaye6350
@stacyjaye6350 Жыл бұрын
Exactly what I told my friend. If you do what's right for your kids, it'll usually be right for you.
@user-wu4en7ck1i
@user-wu4en7ck1i Жыл бұрын
Good for you! Keep on going 👍
@orianam9835
@orianam9835 Жыл бұрын
Peace and health are two most important virtues in life. Very good you carefully choose friends for you and your kids. Well done 😘
@dawnries325
@dawnries325 Жыл бұрын
I am going to do the same. Thank you for sharing. God bless.
@bridgetthauert5518
@bridgetthauert5518 Жыл бұрын
I was listening to this waiting for my six-year-old to wake up and she was awake with her eyes closed and she all of a sudden out of nowhere goes happiness is a grin. I said what about a smile. she says, a smile people can fake. A grin just happens when people aren't paying attention...outta the mouths of babes
@petmom74
@petmom74 11 ай бұрын
That's priceless...and powerfully true.
@findingaway5512
@findingaway5512 11 ай бұрын
Wow..... Sounds like a quote for your wall with her name underneath. ☺️❤
@cherylritzen9685
@cherylritzen9685 11 ай бұрын
Beautiful ❤
@whodeenidog4
@whodeenidog4 10 ай бұрын
Mel-thank you! You made so much h sense!! And it is really that easy!?
@mothercoyote351
@mothercoyote351 9 ай бұрын
Ur daughter is rt on if u think about it. I 💕 her logic & way of reasoning. How old is she?
@sandralang9289
@sandralang9289 5 ай бұрын
I’d just like to say that at the age of 59, I believe you have helped me more than any form of therapy I have EVER received, Mel. I am here to say Thank you. 😅❤
@rawgab4439
@rawgab4439 4 күн бұрын
Agree ..100 % !! THX
@Sue-pm6rr
@Sue-pm6rr 3 ай бұрын
Wish you would do a video addressing seniors and loneliness and finding friends. And letting go of kids and forging out into a new life after becoming single again.
@Southern-Junkee
@Southern-Junkee Жыл бұрын
I have been looking for a work from home job and have no luck. I am a social person but lately I just became recluse because of the recent death of my Mother. Friday I have interview for a social service director job in a nursing home .. I have been scared thinking I can’t do this job… but thinking about being around co workers and elderly makes me happy 🤞🤞🤞you made me realize I need people … I need a tribe ❤
@SF-ce1qn
@SF-ce1qn 6 ай бұрын
I’d be the perfect guest in your show. Menopause, quit my dream job because of emotions, struggling in a non emotive relationship, no creative outlet. I volunteer a lot which I think is the only thing keeping me from not constantly lying in the couch!
@roseannpacheco6970
@roseannpacheco6970 Жыл бұрын
I feel happy when I am listening and constantly learning from Mel Robbins’s podcasts 💕
@monajohnson8576
@monajohnson8576 Жыл бұрын
I completely agree about talking to strangers. I was hone retired depressed watching Netflix. Now im a rideshare driver having short interactions all day and im back in the stream of life. Although im missing deeper connections
@sonyas7422
@sonyas7422 Жыл бұрын
Thanks Mel! I think of course retired people are living in the moment. They don't feel forced to spend most of their day in a box (or wherever) day in and day out. Unless you enjoy your work, we constantly need to remind ourselves how grateful we are to have a job...to make $$...to pay our bills. Yet most of the time it takes away the spontaneous adventure of life for almost the whole day (or night shift). Looking forward to the weekend, the time clock at 5pm, the planning of a vacation and retirement sometimes feel so far away.
@smoothjazz1954
@smoothjazz1954 11 ай бұрын
This is what I need today! It is 107 degrees outside, my plants or surviving, grasshoppers are eating them away. I feel depressed about everything. Motivation is a problem for me. ADHD. But, you always make me feel better! Thank you❣️
@bluecube7247
@bluecube7247 6 ай бұрын
53 years... going cold turkey these holidays... no more family time anytime with any of them... it was a long process, i had some hangers on, at times i hung on, but now i chose to go no contact completely. I'm SO HAPPY, HEALTHY AND FINALLY EXPANDING MY LIFE AND FRIENDSHIPS ❤❤ break away, be free, live life, and be open to loving healthy relationships, settle for nothing less. We all need a trusted social circle. This year Christmas is at MY HOUSE, my guests are new and old friends... for decades, my family never once set foot in my home... they all felt my expensive high end rentals weren't nice enough for them... i built my own new house, still not good enough. Get the picture!?
@alexandrar.4900
@alexandrar.4900 Жыл бұрын
You always know what I need to hear and post it at the right time! ❤ It’s 8:07AM and you’ll be so proud of me- I 5-4-3-2-1 and got out of bed on the first alarm!! 🚀 I put the phone away from me and my mom called me to wake me up. It was super tempting to crawl back into bed but I resisted and now giving myself a high five in the mirror 😄✋🏼🪞 Thank you Mel for sharing your gifts with us and helping enrich our lives with your podcast. Going to go watch/listen to the episode now 😁🎧🫶🏻
@aannwwsalam
@aannwwsalam Жыл бұрын
Well done 🥳
@gerigriggs7824
@gerigriggs7824 Жыл бұрын
Happiness is FREE! Love the sweater....you look like a happy cheerleader! Our happy cheerleader!
@Subspace._tripmine
@Subspace._tripmine Жыл бұрын
I've been through enough crap in my past. I'm happy now. I'm poor and don't have a partner, but I'm happy. I want to live a long life cause I like life. I still have crappy moments but overall, I'm happy. It's possible because I'm like your mom. I talk to everyone in public. I got that from my father. Social butterfly.
@orianam9835
@orianam9835 Жыл бұрын
Social buterly is a great gift I also have. You never know who you will meet and your fate both financially and socially may change
@rawgab4439
@rawgab4439 4 күн бұрын
Congrats
@StephanieProbably
@StephanieProbably 11 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video! You have helped me realize that I actually am profoundly lonely! I have been in denial for the last 4 years. I’m in my car sitting out in my driveway watching this podcast, I’m going to go through my front door and announce very loudly to my astounded family that I AM PROFOUNDLY LONELY! 😅😅😅
@meatdog
@meatdog 5 ай бұрын
Did you do this? If so, what was the result? I live alone and my friends are all across the country far away. I know loneliness. BUT I have developed a plan to remedy this over the next 3 years. Now I have something to look forward to and it makes me happy and thus way less lonely. Good luck. I love you and I'm grateful to you for sharing.
@sanja12
@sanja12 Жыл бұрын
Exactly! the reason why we do not feel happy is because we live in not safe and warm environment! 100% the reason why people get depressed. NO LOVE or close relationships in their life especially when there is no family anymore. At the end of our lives the only thing we take with us (what stays in our heart) are those warm, loving relationship. Nothing else!
@indianboyshaan1493
@indianboyshaan1493 3 ай бұрын
I love you 😘
@rawgab4439
@rawgab4439 4 күн бұрын
Nicely said
@LMNevada
@LMNevada Жыл бұрын
“Happy is what we make it. Always has been and always will be.”
@NikkiGregory
@NikkiGregory 6 ай бұрын
I can’t wait to hear this again! Binging on your advice all weekend. You made a great point at the end about how older people & people in their 70’s are often happy & I’m telling everyone to please please take care of your health when you are young so you can enjoy like as you age. You want to enjoy retired life & not be in wheelchair or need a caregiver, etc ❤ Thank you for all you do. You are the best.
@miladorotea2338
@miladorotea2338 10 ай бұрын
Living in the present. Look around and see beauty, your health, what you have. I love gardening, volunteering, sewing quilts for foster children Giving joy without expecting anything All this and more bring me gratitude peace and happiness
@svitlanapalynska9516
@svitlanapalynska9516 8 ай бұрын
When you mentioned that we should spend more time with warm people in our life. This scared me as hell. I realized that there's no one in my life that I can put in that category. What should I do about that?
@joanmu1053
@joanmu1053 10 күн бұрын
Me too
@ieva1224
@ieva1224 3 күн бұрын
Be best and warmest friend to yourself ...
@kipj9900
@kipj9900 5 ай бұрын
Just listened to this long after you posted it. Today I went to a random nail salon in a town l had never been in. The nail tech struck up a conversation with me and l was open to having a friendly chat. She actually recommended a good doctor for me!! She had no idea l was looking for a doctor! I was grateful for the conversation and the recommendation 😊
@margaretgollnick5262
@margaretgollnick5262 4 ай бұрын
I’ve always thought that happiness is situational. Finding joy can be found within, regardless of what is happening in life. Good or bad.
@jennifershort3104
@jennifershort3104 3 ай бұрын
One Christmas Day in my early 20's I experienced true happiness. I felt a moment of contentment and security. Appreciative of everything I had and having family gathered around me. It changed the next evening when I was at work and got robbed at gunpoint. I have had foreboding joy ever since. I get to the point of almost being happy and stop just short of it for fear of losing it again. I see it and I want it, but I don't allow myself to get there. I have a block when it comes to that feeling.
@kristopherevans6283
@kristopherevans6283 Жыл бұрын
I didn't realize how unhappy I was in my life until I met someone at business conference recently who emotionally woke me up after our first conversation. It was enlightening. Now that the conference is over and I am missing her, I am using the feeling she gave and applying it to everything I do now. It's been working. I just needed that spark I guess. I love your videos Mel. This one came at the right time for me! Thanks!
@SK-ld6pl
@SK-ld6pl 7 ай бұрын
Real happiness is seeking comfort and solace in God. We must appreciate what we have and count our blessings on a daily basis. You will never be truly happy without the remembrance of God Almighty.
@rawgab4439
@rawgab4439 4 күн бұрын
Which God ?
@Ceehop
@Ceehop Жыл бұрын
This woman is literally changing my life, I’m so grateful you Mel! 🙏🏾❤️
@reneetobin5158
@reneetobin5158 4 ай бұрын
Being fully present, not yesterday , not tomorrow. Have fun- do fun things- warm relationships = inner happiness❤
@user-de6gc1cy5s
@user-de6gc1cy5s 10 күн бұрын
I love you Mel you have pulled me out of one of the deepest darkest holes in my life and you have got to know you’re freaking awesome but for someone like me you are a life changer I never knew I could care about someone so much and never have met them. Thank you ❤️😊
@lumwong7237
@lumwong7237 7 ай бұрын
Mel, you know what…you are the one who made me feel peaceful and to regain my power!! Coz especially every time when I felt anxious or lost of control or blaming myself with low esteem, the one thing I’ll do first is to watch your video coz they just inspired me so much and gave me the strength and encouragement to move forward ❤ I cannot say anything but thank you thank you Mel ❤ love you 😊 bless you
@Sofia-bd3ej
@Sofia-bd3ej Жыл бұрын
I love people who talk to strangers! I am an introvert and would not be able to do that. But any time a stranger talks to me it makes my day !
@michenzi
@michenzi 5 ай бұрын
Today I started diving into your podcasts, and it's like a book you can't put down. It's now 1:30 in the morning and I have to shut down. Thanks so much for covering such resonating topics!! I love your voice, your delivery, your warmness, your sincerity ....... just thank you, thank you, thank you !!! I'll be back with you tomorrow✌🏽🌴😊🌊
@AllAnimalsCount
@AllAnimalsCount Жыл бұрын
I appreciate 🙏 💛 you so much! I've been rescuing kitty cats my entire life, walked away from a record producer to save my cat sanctuary years ago, now years later still rescuing homeless cats in need but my pocket book isn't as big as my heart and need to get happy creating life that can support all these rescues, challenging, gotta have faith
@user-tv6fn4mf7g
@user-tv6fn4mf7g 5 ай бұрын
Mel, you will never know how amazing you are! All your messages are exceptional, but this one has brought me to tears. How do you know just what we need to hear? Thank you, be blessed, be safe.
@bricksbydave.
@bricksbydave. Жыл бұрын
Thank you again Mel. Another great podcast. I have recently reached out to my "kids" 23 and 25 which has been great to give me and hopefully them a sense of connection. I will make some plans to connect with my friends for a night of fun playing Beatsaber. Where it always good for a laugh and gets us moving as well which I feel is also important at our age 54. Something I always try to remember is "We don't stop playing when we grow old. We grow old when we stop playing." I love your show keep up the great work.
@cathleenmutnick6857
@cathleenmutnick6857 Жыл бұрын
I luv u Mel. You make so much sense. Luv your ocean analogy. I've been struggling too long to not drown in the hurricane. I need to learn when to get out of the turbulent ocean (negative people) & visit the beach on more calm days to play & just enjoy the sunset. I AM happy. And I AM lonely. Now accepting new friend applications. 😊
@soniaaguilera6871
@soniaaguilera6871 2 ай бұрын
Uff Mel, I have discovered you recently just when I am going through a really really deep transformation in few areas in my life, being the most important and the leading one, PERSONAL GROWTH. Your podcast is being a true gift because you explain everything in the most possible clear way. Thank you ❤❤
@dmtdreamz7706
@dmtdreamz7706 Жыл бұрын
You are happy and cherished. You have nothing to fear. There is nothing you can do wrong. If I had to boil this entire message down to one sentence, it would run this way: You are happiness. And if I had to boil it down further, to just one word, it would (of course) be, simply: Happiness.
@betherickson4379
@betherickson4379 Жыл бұрын
This was my first Mel Robbins pod cast and I loved it. I was feeling rather down on myself this morning but I feel so much better now after listening. I just needed a bit of inspiration. Thank you for giving me a pep in my step, Mel!
@dmtdreamz7706
@dmtdreamz7706 Жыл бұрын
Happiness is not just extreme pleasure. Happiness is the realization of immortality and the realization that everything is heaven. When you realize that, it's so good, it's infinitely good. It's not just good. It's good to the infinite degree. It's so much goodness that you can't contain it. your body can't hold it. Your entire body shakes and shudders in a cosmic orgasm of bliss. It's perfection. It's total peace. It's absolute love, that's truly happiness.
@MysticWearables
@MysticWearables 5 ай бұрын
I don’t feel lonely or get lonely, it’s strange, but I am trying my best to keep in touch with people or trying to be a good friend, but I just don’t know what loneliness feels like.
@caseyjayde111
@caseyjayde111 Жыл бұрын
I absolutely love all your podcasts. Iv been going through a healing journey lately and it’s like your talking to me. I feel as though iv lost me and who I am but all my friends as I am a totally different person in terms of growth and spiritual development ❤ now I need to find my new friends xxx
@oneofthosecreativetypes24
@oneofthosecreativetypes24 Жыл бұрын
I'm on the same journey as you. It's good to know we are not alone!
@caseyjayde111
@caseyjayde111 Жыл бұрын
@@oneofthosecreativetypes24 absolutely honey it can feel so lonely can’t it… but we’ve got more support than we no 🥰❤️
@jenniferolson5345
@jenniferolson5345 Жыл бұрын
Oh, my goodness! This really spoke to me, especially the part about being intentional about fun while doing the deep work. Last year, I decided to roll up my sleeves and work on my mental health. It dawned on me last year while doing the 12-week year that my "fun" category was nonexistent. I have been SO serious during this healing journey. I am going to focus on fun!
@Msfruity44
@Msfruity44 11 ай бұрын
Me too! Thanks for sharing!💖
@user-mx6qj3ue4v
@user-mx6qj3ue4v 10 ай бұрын
Exactly!! Great reading your comment. Thank you ❤ I have just realised I need to include more fun whilst doing the deep work Hope your fun continues friend❤❤❤ ❤
@yanetcurtis5568
@yanetcurtis5568 Жыл бұрын
I feel like 10% of what is happening to you depends on what the 10% is. 10% can really weigh you down sometimes.
@jillgarnett208
@jillgarnett208 Жыл бұрын
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@jillgarnett208
@jillgarnett208 Жыл бұрын
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@jillgarnett208
@jillgarnett208 Жыл бұрын
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@robinenochs1320
@robinenochs1320 Жыл бұрын
Wonderful podcast! I’ve long told my children-“everything is temporary, the bad stuff and the good stuff, so really take in and enjoy the good stuff and let it carry you through the bad stuff knowing that’s temporary too” so I suppose finding the happiness in the good stuff the everyday stuff walking barefoot in the pasture, sitting and observing the birds, squirrels, even our chickens-being in a perfect spring day or day on the beach and the perfume of the flowers or salty air. Thanks for the reminder to cultivate the WARM relationships-that is the primary take away for me and the family! Thanks Mel
@elainehartin9299
@elainehartin9299 Жыл бұрын
This is the best talk Mel has ever given ~ I LOVE this and have forwarded it to many friends. I love you too, Mel!!!
@ritsp1291
@ritsp1291 Жыл бұрын
I love talking to strangers..lol. I just flew home alone from Florida which is fine but not for me. Talking to that stranger next to me gave me enough joy to get on that plane and do it on my own. Was so strange! So you are absolutely right
@lisaredknap4407
@lisaredknap4407 Жыл бұрын
P.s thank you for the tips on talking to strangers. I lost my job in London so been alone all day but been too anxious to put the bins out let alone start a new job. But I need to asap due to debt. God I am depressing you. Thank you again for doing what you do Mel. I have lots to listen to 🙏❤️
@Lisa-bs2po
@Lisa-bs2po 10 ай бұрын
Wow! This is really hitting home for me. I didn’t realize that “negative energy or cold relationships” can cause physical stress.
@jenniferfortuin9374
@jenniferfortuin9374 Жыл бұрын
People cannot make you happy......happiness comes from within
@andreaherbert9243
@andreaherbert9243 Жыл бұрын
This is beautiful. What a novel idea. "Happy people prioritize doing things that make them happy" Genius! Why didn't I think of that!? My fav podcast!
@claireredfern5880
@claireredfern5880 Жыл бұрын
So true
@emmy6165
@emmy6165 8 ай бұрын
I am watching your happiness video and at this moment, had to stop and tell you about this amazing ah hah experience I had when you mentioned the ocean, its motions and the stillness of the beach. This brought me back to when my children were toddlers and I would take them to the bay near our home. Those were the happiest times of my life. I am now 80 years old, a grandma who also is in a loving relationship, active physically and mentally, have everything to be happy about and still have dark days with bouts of being stuck in sadness. This broadcast and the one on how to phase out unmeaningful friendships, sparked an awareness that has been dormant. I love you and thank you for sharing your wisdom and helping us understand the simple things that we can do to help us heal.❤
@patchesblevins1573
@patchesblevins1573 Жыл бұрын
I listen, I learn, repeat. Love all the knowledge you give me. Thank you, I love you for that.
@andreasinclair
@andreasinclair Жыл бұрын
When you spoke about searching and engulfing yourself in SERIOUS all the time… DING!… exactly my issue. In the search for greater meaning and happiness… looking for fun and soulful laughs is a better bet. I’m on it! Love you Mel, just in case no one to you that today. X
@dmtdreamz7706
@dmtdreamz7706 Жыл бұрын
Connecting with the joy of looking at happy things. This will make you fall in love with life. The happiness of when I walk out of my house, I look at trees, cars, the sun, the clouds, the desert, where I live. Even my own body. When I look at my own body I just get joy out of looking at the happiness of my own body. My body is a work of art. I can connect with that um. Just that alone is enough to create an amazingly fulfilling life.
@b.jizzle6077
@b.jizzle6077 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video Mel! You're so in my head right now lol You touched on so many things, issues I have in my life right now and your insight is so helpful and comforting. I wish I could find a life coach like you. ❤
@ceciltacayonsarinas1295
@ceciltacayonsarinas1295 4 ай бұрын
When I listen to you, Ms. Mel, it makes me reflect. I realize that I should prioritize listening more rather than always being the one listened to, especially when it comes to my concerns and stresses in life. It feels like a friend explaining things to me in the persona of Ms. Mel, saying, "Listen, this is how it is.".Thank you!. from now on listening to you is my new theraphy.
@joudsabr9518
@joudsabr9518 Жыл бұрын
Thank you Mel. I really appreciate the valuable advices you give use every time I open KZfaq
@MarleneFourneau
@MarleneFourneau Жыл бұрын
I really related to the part about loneliness being responsible for unhappiness. I haven't been feeling truly happy since the end of my relationship 6y ago (after 25y together) 😔 I found myself completely isolated and built a whole new social network. I've never met so many people and new friends than in the past years. I stopped being a freelance translator (working alone) and joined a company to have colleagues (but I do work from home). And yet nobody can fill the void he left 😢 I truly believed we would grow old together and although we had our issues I never expected he would leave and file for divorce. I've been on a journey of self-improvement but as Mel says it's pretty heavy. I miss the simplicity of my former life. Having a partner at home, someone who knows you best and is there for you. I thought I had it. I was wrong. I know you're supposed to be happy on your own but I can't seem to reach that peaceful state. I live with sorrow in my heart...
@soraidahussein5622
@soraidahussein5622 Жыл бұрын
Take care @Marlene Things will get better, even if slowly. Maybe he left to give space to someone who would like to be with you. You never know. Be strong, and enjoy little things as much as you can to warm up your heart. Take care.
@Happy2bme2dae
@Happy2bme2dae Жыл бұрын
You can do this!
@lynndenault8198
@lynndenault8198 11 ай бұрын
Be kind to yourself. Day by day - take care.
@PCbythebeach
@PCbythebeach 11 ай бұрын
Marlene, sorry for your loss, hope you're doing better. Try listening to Joel osteen, he's very uplifting. Good luck. 💞
@Msfruity44
@Msfruity44 11 ай бұрын
Hello there, ❤ I went through this 14years ago. After 24 years of marriage, an unexpected divorce. It can be a tough road to recovery/discovery, but I will tell you if you take the time to do these 3 things you will recover. 1) Grieve - Grieving is necessary as you have lost your best friend along with the life you once knew. 2) Acceptance- Accept that you are loved, and worthy of a beautiful life that you now get to create for YOU! 3) Lastly- Time - Give yourself time to be gracious and compassionate to yourself as you navigate through this uncharted territory of self discovery. Open yourself up to new experiences. Remember the good times without ruminating wishing that things were the same. Create new memories for this new journey you are now embarking upon. Some days you will feel like it, and some days you won’t feel like it. That’s perfectly normal. But in time, your broken heart, will begin to feel like a new heart that you get to keep happy. Trust me. …. You can rise out of this just like the butterfly🦋. It may seem dark right now, but just allow the process and before you know it, you will break forth, spread your wings and fly!🦋🦋🦋❤ I hope this helps - sending love and huge hugs!
@bluedale6563
@bluedale6563 11 ай бұрын
Contentment is a crown a king wears but very few get to enjoy
@findingaway5512
@findingaway5512 11 ай бұрын
I talk to stangers all the time and they talk to me. My mom was also a stranger talker. I have deep conversations with strangers too not just small talk too. Like really deep valuble convos. They ompart wisdom or i do. Or i comosorate or give empathy or understanding. It is amazing. Covid definitely took that from me and i missed it so much. I missed thise small inter actions and convos. I actually still had acouple at a distance it was fewer. But i did have a deep conversation in a parking lot with a stranger for a good long time. At the end she thanked meand said it was so nice to be able to talk to somone about it. Definitely never discount y Those moments. I also spent a day with a friend who had a pet pass away. Me and my son tahged along on what would have been a very difficult day and brought a little sunshine while she tried to make it a not so sad day for her kids. I often am not good with making plans so someone inviting us to do life with them in some way is one of my favorite things. Connection does not have to be fancy.
@Jully-Chen
@Jully-Chen 4 ай бұрын
Understand what you are saying and reading those comments in english is my happiness. I can speak 4 languages now , keeping studying and being curious make me happy.
@dmtdreamz7706
@dmtdreamz7706 Жыл бұрын
So the value of the happiness is that it shows you the fluidity of consciousness. That's one of the key values, just the fact that you get to change states and change into very radically different states. That's a huge eye-opening experience. Do not underestimate the value of that. That alone right there will change your whole life. To be able to pop out of your life and look back upon it as though it was all an imagined hallucination. That's what it happens to be imagining right now. The next second who knows what it could imagine. It can imagine anything it wants but it just so happens that it keeps imagining something consistent so that we can get a sense of reality.
@miladorotea2338
@miladorotea2338 10 ай бұрын
Just doing things, reading gym career etc does not lead to real happiness Get out of your comfort zone and do something impulsive And volunteering not only brings joy to others but it’s warm fuzzies to you, makes you feel good When people feel lost, unhappy they have not found their purpose
@caferacer9768
@caferacer9768 20 күн бұрын
Such a great talk and explanation on how to live vs. just existing. I read a study once done on 1500 people that posed the question...if you could see your life before you are born would you still want to be born? 77% said no....depressing on so many levels.
@pamelamarshall3665
@pamelamarshall3665 Жыл бұрын
Love this, Mel! I am fortunate enough to be a naturally happy person (well, you know...most of the time). And listening to this episode gives me more insight into why I am this way. All the things you suggest...I already do them all. I have always made connection and "warm relationships" a priority in my life. I also talk to strangers all the time, everywhere I go. In fact, being a career waitress is all about talking to strangers and making connections. I love it! And when you talked about eating nuts, one at a time...ha ha...I do that too! That is a more recent development. I used to eat nuts, popcorn, whatever, by the handful. But a number of years ago, I started eating much more mindfully, and challenged myself to eat these things one at a time. And it makes a huge difference in how I experience the taste and textures. My life is not perfect, and neither am I. But I do feel so much gratitude for my - most of the time -naturally happy disposition. I want everyone to have this! Listening to this episode gives me hope that more people can begin to cultivate it by practicing the things you suggest. And I love all the beach and ocean analogies. Who doesn't love the beach????
@yinlee678
@yinlee678 10 ай бұрын
Dear Mel, I just joining your Chanel few months ago, I love your authentic expression towards to our daily life.. I have never felt so enlightening just go though my deep inner . Thank you so much for this inspiration topic❤🎉
@LK-3000
@LK-3000 Жыл бұрын
You've made me understand the varied levels and catagories of happiness. I've been operating under a misconception that happiness = joy/exhuberance. But that's just one aspect of happiness. Now I understand. Thank you!
@ToxicFreeTV
@ToxicFreeTV Жыл бұрын
Love you Mel! I get this so much-there comes a time to balance life with the self work - thank you for all the inspiration Mel!!!
@merralindagoddard9530
@merralindagoddard9530 Жыл бұрын
Mel thank you so much! I needed this today. I want to make sure I’m that warm and fuzzy for my husband and friends
@dmtdreamz7706
@dmtdreamz7706 Жыл бұрын
This happened about a decade ago but the trip was so impactful that I'll never forget it. I'll go to my death contemplating it. I haven't shared this trip online before so here we go. The trip is atypical because it's a positive one, whereas most Salvia trip reports tend to be quite dramatically negative. This trip profoundly increased my overall positivity and outlook on life since that day. It's also the reason why until very recently I haven't done any psychedelics at all, I felt I've had enough for a lifetime after this. This was Salvia 60x or 80x, I can't remember which but it was powerful stuff. I smoked it a few times prior, about 10 times altogether, but I always took very gentle hits and what seemed to happen was that reality shifted into something else for a brief moment, and then back again. For example, one time I smoked it around a table with some friends, and suddenly the entire scene transformed into something where we were all on some kind of beach near the ocean, I looked to the right at one of my friends and he was wearing one of those old marine captain hats, and he kinda winked at me like a cartoon character. Then reality morphed back to normal as quickly as it transformed. I had a couple of this kind of trips with short but still potent changes in perception. The last time I smoked it, it was different. I was alone this time, and I had enough for 2-3 strong hits. I packed my pipe to the brim and lit up my torch lighter, really dedicated that this time I'll feel something stronger than just a little tease of an effect. So I somehow managed to take about 3 gigantic hits and put the pipe down. What happened next is hard to convey into words, because words don't do it justice and never will. A very powerful voice, which seemed to be coming from the back, and the power of which seemed to make the entire world vibrate with enormous force, basically said to me, "hi, I'm Salvia". I don't think it happened in spoken language but I could understand everything being said with crystal clarity. It felt like telepathic download. There was absolutely no ambiguity in what was being said and even though the transmission was an alien experience to me and I struggled to get to grips with it, I still understood everything with extreme lucidity. The voice said something like this. "Well, you know, every single thing has a spirit. At the core of everything is a specific spirit whose natural expression is that certain thing." This "voice" then went on to provide me with a very specific example (I know all this because after the trip I wrote all of it down). It said, "if you eat an orange, the taste that you feel in your mouth, is the communication with the spirit of the orange!" This was very specific, I thought. Then the voice went on to say "well, you just smoked me, and I'm the spirit of Salvia, so this is what communication with me is like!" What happened after this is impossible to describe and I only really have a very shaky mental picture of it because my ego simply cannot even formulate or begin to formulate any kind of description that would fit the experience or uncover even the surface layers of just how unbelievably alien it felt. What happened was I felt as if two enormous hands lifted me from my body, and I went up, up, up through the stratosphere, through the layers of the multiverse, through some kind of membrane and some type of superdimensional, non-euclidean hyperbolic weirdness of hard to describe proportions, until I basically landed in nothing, and there was nothing but love and nothing there. Love and nothing was the content of this place, and there wasn't even me, I didn't exist there, I just somehow was part of this love and this nothing. And what's more is it lasted forever, as far as I can tell. I don't know how I ever got back to my body, because from what I could tell, this was forever and this is just how things are and always were - there's love, infinite love of unconditional and deeply profound nature, and there's absolutely nothing, and those are the only two things that exist. I know this sounds paradoxical because how can "nothing" exist as a thing but that's how it felt. It was infinite nothing and infinite love in every direction. When I did get back to my body, it felt like I was slowly descending back into my body and I remember I had some kind of an energetic parachute that attached to my front rather than my back, and was made of what I can describe as two enormous rings on each side of me that extended through another reality back into our own. If you've ever played MDK games, it was kind of like that parachute, except it was glowing red, and it was on the front of me, and there were only two circles instead of four. I remember specifically looking at how the two rings at the far ends poked through some kind of membrane that separated this world and the one I just came from. This experience radically transformed my life. It permanently erased my depression and inspired me to be extremely creative. I've never taken Salvia since because I'm afraid it might modulate my life in a different way, or that I might experience the horrors that I keep reading about Salvia. I'm not sure it's worth the risk. That's my trip report. Regardless or not if you believe in the spirit world and the spirits or everything described here, you have to at least agree that the orange analogy is spot on. I've never thought before that the spirit of orange might express itself to you through the experience of eating it. Next time you taste an orange, remember you're communicating with its spirit. :)
@paradigmreality7940
@paradigmreality7940 Күн бұрын
We need to connect to the Divune Energy!!!! Ground yourself !!!! Grass!!!!💕
@karlasilis-cruz528
@karlasilis-cruz528 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Mel for this podcast! I find it so helpful and inspiring! I enjoy watching your podcasts!
@demireyes
@demireyes Жыл бұрын
Thank you for everything that you do Mel, I love your podcast and always get excited once a new episode goes live. This podcast makes me feel warm and fuzzy, I'm so grateful for you and everything you teach me and everybody. Can't wait for the next one :)
@user-xi1wb4vb9m
@user-xi1wb4vb9m Жыл бұрын
That's just how I'm feeling..ever day....I'm not happy in marriage...I'm not happy when I'm "home". I have to break away from the negativity and toxicity that I am faced with any time I'm home I want to be on my own..when I'm home..I am constantly being watched and asked what I'm doing. Telling me the better way to do things. Constantly being reprimanded...all this from my husband..... 40 years together...37 married years. I honestly don't see myself getting any happiness warmth and comfort where I am now
@allinadaysworkhakunamatata9187
@allinadaysworkhakunamatata9187 9 ай бұрын
Thinking of you
@AlexaCBrown
@AlexaCBrown 9 ай бұрын
🥰💝 Being Happy, is beautiful, and even when I'm sad, I am happy... Years ago something happened where I was sad, and crying, and my husband hugged me, "he said you smell so nice, what are you wearing?"... I said through tears, "Clinique's Happy" My husband hugged me and we laughed. One of my students thank you card, written by her mom, said when she saw me in the new school year, "There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy!!" 💖🌅💖 Even when one is sad there are beautiful and happy moments, to always reflect on 💖☀️🥳
@AlexaCBrown
@AlexaCBrown 9 ай бұрын
And, most importantly, Thank You, and, I Love You 🌸💐🌅💖
@JessicaLorie-ft5iq
@JessicaLorie-ft5iq 2 ай бұрын
I listen to you every day on my way to work and on my way home from work you have changed my life in many ways i cant afford therapy but this is better than anything i could pay for ❤
@kathiecollins7925
@kathiecollins7925 8 ай бұрын
Always, always GRATEFUL for your work, teachings, sharng and humor Mel! Thank you for this important podcast!! ♥to you/yours!!
@grannyblaylock623
@grannyblaylock623 Жыл бұрын
WE THINK A lot alike. Being about to share common interests I like listening to music writing poems also social media. It's also easy to just compliments their efforts on social media. I appreciate you. You always have a level head on your shoulders. THANK YOU.
@peggyschmidt7715
@peggyschmidt7715 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this video, I really needed to hear this. God Bless You for Being Mel!!!❤👍
@barbararositano
@barbararositano 6 ай бұрын
What an absolutely beautiful honest and open person you are Mel. This has been lovely and very inspiring listening to you. Thank you very much.
@julievonfalkenhausen6448
@julievonfalkenhausen6448 Жыл бұрын
Thank you Mel, you are truly inspiring every single podcast ❤
@rebeccajordan3732
@rebeccajordan3732 Жыл бұрын
I love you back, Mel!!!❤ thank you for all that you do and say.
@jaykaye562
@jaykaye562 10 ай бұрын
That warm fuzzy column, and cold column... absolutely fantastic
@slimilacraft7676
@slimilacraft7676 2 ай бұрын
Thanks Mel. I’m so tired of reaching out to people that I’ve checked up on for years and none of them reach out to me. I understand people have their own lives and mates and kids and stuff but I’m tired. I’m lonely but it makes me feel desperate and pathetic reaching out to people who wouldn’t even think about calling me. I can’t stand it.
@Lisa-NewEng
@Lisa-NewEng Жыл бұрын
You do the good work, altruistic, authentic & inspiring. It’s the real stuff.
@JennyGaston
@JennyGaston Жыл бұрын
Another great video as always, yes the quality of our relationships matter along with doing things that bring us joy. Having fun can be underrated ❤️
@judynicholas2108
@judynicholas2108 4 ай бұрын
Rachel, I so relate to you! ❤ Feeling stuck in my head... Number 1 goal this year for me, is to double down on fun!!! So real! Thank you, Mel!!! So many beautiful analogies... ❤
@lovebug4263
@lovebug4263 Жыл бұрын
This ones for me Mel! Have fun was my first goal for this year after being all work no play the past 3 years.
@mommadramapreps8668
@mommadramapreps8668 Жыл бұрын
I love your podcasts and in this one i love brought up striking up a conversation with strangers. I'm so hard on myself and tell myself that ppl who know me think X Y Z about what I've said in the past that was "weird" or whatever (I'm not weird, I don't think but I THINK ppl think I'm weird lol) anyway, with a stranger that thought is GONE and I'm free to just talk without the thoughts of "she doesn't like you" being there.
@appsss6049
@appsss6049 Жыл бұрын
You are Amazing Mel Robbins♥️♥️♥️
@marialediazr
@marialediazr Жыл бұрын
Thank you Mel. What an amazing podcast. So insightful ❤
@dmtdreamz7706
@dmtdreamz7706 Жыл бұрын
They looked forward to that happiness with joy, but without haste, not pining for it, but seeming to have a foretaste of it in their hearts, of which they talked to one another. But when they looked at me with their sweet eyes full of love, when I felt that in their presence my heart, too, became as innocent and just as theirs, the feeling of the fullness of life took my breath away, and I worshipped them in silence. Their children were the children of all, for they all made up one family.
@EMuro-wu7uy
@EMuro-wu7uy 7 ай бұрын
Ive been doing things for myself, rewards for my accomplishments, and going to do fun things. Giving myself goals, one time someone wanted me to hang out, i get the ick feeling from him. I stood up and said i was on my way, i wanted to do this, it was a promise to myself. I had the best time.
@maytedominguez9051
@maytedominguez9051 3 ай бұрын
I was looking for any podcast in English to improve my listening and i found you now i'am improving my life thank you so much.❤
@mo.G_2020
@mo.G_2020 7 ай бұрын
finally, I can articulate my problems and define them, you don't know how much this helped me!! Thank you very much
@user-yv4yd5ks2z
@user-yv4yd5ks2z 4 ай бұрын
deep deep, deep deep, deep deep, down inside am happy just trying to help others!
@claudiaa5960
@claudiaa5960 4 ай бұрын
I don’t have friends around, my only childhood friend that I love, suffers from social anxiety so she is not join me anywhere and the few real friendships I have, all of the live abroad. Nevertheless, I ll follow the 3 steps and stay more in contact with my joy, my friends (on the distance) and my present moment ❤ Thank you Mel!
@wendyfuller2984
@wendyfuller2984 Жыл бұрын
I have added Your awakening. As my one more thing…😊. I am That … I am happy Just being present
@tobirodevick2365
@tobirodevick2365 11 ай бұрын
Thank you so very Mel....you are wonderful ❤
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