Tool Rosetta Stoned
Alright then, picture this if you will:
10 to 2 am, X, Yogi DMT
And a box of Krispy Kremes
In my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51
Contemplating the whole "Chosen People" thing with just a flaming
Stealth banana split the sky like one would hope
But never really expect to see in a place like this
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and
Stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping...
"Holy fucking shit!"
Then the X-Files being,
Looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with
Isabella Rossellini lips and
Breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa
Did a slow-mo Matrix descent out of the butt end of the banana vessel
And hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw,
And my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was:
"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't
Notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants."
So light in his way
Like an apparition
He had me crying out
"Fuck me
It's gotta be
Deadhead Chemistry
The blotter got right on top of me
Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"
And after calming me down with some
Orange slices and some fetal spooning
E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose
He said, "You are the Chosen One
The One who will deliver the message
A message of hope for those who choose to
Hear it and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!
And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school
You better
You better
You better
You better listen
Then he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time Dave floated away
See my heart is pounding
'Cause this shit never happens to me
Can't breathe right now!
It was so real
Like I woke up in Wonderland
All sort of terrifying
And I don't wanna be all alone when I tell this story
And can anyone tell me why
You all sound like Peanut's parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real
Finally, it's my lucky day
See my heart is racing
'Cause this shit never happens to me
Can't breathe right now!
You believe me, don't you? Please believe what I just said
See, the Dead ain't tourin' and this wasn't all in my head
See they took me by the hand and invited me right in
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin
Strapped down my bed. Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head, am I alive or am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
Goddamn. Shit the bed!
Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position
Such a heavy burden now to be the One
Born to bear and read to all
The details of our ending
To write it down for all the world to see
But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again
Typical
Strapped down in my bed. Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head, am I alive or am I dead?
Sunkist and Sudafed, gyroscopes and infrared
Can't remember what they said
Goddamn. Shit the bed!
I can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero!
Can't remember what they said
Bob help me
Can't remember what they said
Don't know, won't know...
Goddamn shit the bed!
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Daniel Carey / Adam Jones / Maynard James Keenan / Justin Chancellor
Rosetta Stoned lyrics © Bmg Gold Songs, Emi Virgin Music Inc., Toolshed Music