Agree 100%. Wish they wore warning signs 😁

@@mdee860 I've seen some people wear face masks, shirts, etc that say "toxic" or something similar. In my mind I thank them. They may think they're being cute or hip. But why would you choose to display something like that if you didn't mean it?

@@Hi-Phi We all wish we understood this sooner. The aggressor knows exactly what is going on. We're the boiling frogs. And they don't care.

I now know first hand why they say “all my ex’s are crazy!” I had to go on anti-anxiety meds during the relationship while enduring the psychopathology. Just over a year later I hired movers and left him with his mouth hanging open….like “your leaving me?” Ya, ya got that part right!

He had me fooled for a long time. But now I see it I can't unsee it and it is so sad. He keeps going saying awefull things to me until I react and then it's Gotcha! So sad and sick.

Truth... this bit is killing me 😡

They have no emotions and your have no peace..Its sad they really think your the problem 😕.

I fall for this one as I think maybe if I talk to she will understand and be nice..... Nope gotcha now I feel 1000 times worst

@@matildasfarm9450 I know right ! At the end of the discussion you feel weak for having a desire to have them to understand.

@@matilda1505 I am going through this and it's causing depression. It was only yesterday I tried to get understanding, I now know, when lies were told in front of my face in front of the owner that they have been told twisted unreal stories about me. I'm so upset about it all. I wish I was stronger

It's their "Gotcha" game. Dr. C

Having baited and baited you , they then walk into the other room and tell ur parents that you’re a very angry person, and impossible ....

We had a big holiday last month that I prepared everything for, hours of cooking. My narcissistic mother kept trying to poke at me to get me to explode, but I didn't bite. ...then it turns out she had been poking at my little sister the whole time too. And sure enough, at dinner time when my sister got a little angry, my mother had her excuse to lock herself in her room and make a huge scene about what a victim she is to everyone. Hours of yelling and crying. It hurts extra when children are involved for sure. It took me this whole month to get back to normal after that but I think with each incident like this, it's easier and easier to really see the truth of them and feel like you don't need to care.

DARVO DENY ATTACK REVERSE the role of VICTIM and OFFENDER

Yes!... Absolutely this. 👍

Nominated for best comment ever. The courts don’t care about parental alienation. But by mental health experts it’s deemed as child abuse .

Boy you said it. We need all guardians and judges trained in it.

Agreed.

Yes, so far behind.

And yet, I'm sure these lost souls have NO IDEA what damage they're doing to their children. Surely, they need to be pitied?

I'll bet you're sitting on a bucket-full of examples. Dr. C

Very true!!!

Mine was always creating drama and then would tell me that there was too much drama. 🙄

I was told I was negative … only because I did not conform 😞

@@SurvivingNarcissism Sadly so. Thank you for your videos and work in educating others about narcissism.

Thank you.

Amen Greta! I wholeheartedly agree! You will be whole as will I. Dr. Carter’s videos have been so insightful, healing. It’s the medicine, along with what we do with what we learn, that will help bring us back to wholeness. ☮️

Greta... May we educate and support each other... those who have something to give ❗🕊️

Stay strong, dear

It’s amazing. All these people who have never met each other whose dealt with a narcissist have the same stories. Narcs are disgusting human beings.

Literal torture.

I call it the death of a thousand cuts

Or WHY.

So true

@@ashandwit I feel ya, I've just learned to resolve it as they are very mentally & emotionally unwell. That's the Why. ☮️ and 💜

Spot on!!!

Exactly!

I was groomed to be a chauffeur for my narc mother 1st. She passed away her narc sister took over. I started putting my foot down & said no. I have such pleasant drives now.🚗 she would get drunk & yell at me for no reason. Try guilting and shaming me into giving her parasitic leech friends rides. They tried turning me into a complete doormat. The $ I've saved on ⛽ gas is unbelievable.

Many of them will try to convince you that you’re being selfish the second you set a boundary. If you don’t allow them to affect your view of yourself, then you are absolutely right. Knowing is 1/2 the battle

well simple if you are talking about a friend but if you are married to one (or even a boss or co-worker) they will use all these against you to abuse you, call you selfish, that you do nothing all day, you don't help them, you don't care about them, you don't love them, you are lazy, you are a bad person, you you.

@@dcg31free especially a drunken 1. My mother wasn't a big drinker, but she wanted to start fights every time I got behind the wheel. & That is so dangerous!🥺

They can start a fight over anything… it validates them and confirms their view that they are the victim

@ zen wolf - Bingo! Exactly my situation. However, when we we finally DO start learning about Narcassism - whoa! The gig's up! Time to take the trash out.

@@mdee860 I love that ! “ The gig’s up ! Time to take the trash out ! “ !

@@matilda1505 - 😘 Right? There is no changing or 'fixing them. I do not have the ability nor do I care to help him. It is a decades long pattern with him & he quite enjoys the way he is. His issues are his own problems to deal with. I am not responsible for him. The only thing I feel sorry for is the future Victim #5.

True freaking story 😡

Sounds about right..👍🏽

Got my husbands two kids from his foreign country. He has never lived with us and while they were young they were “your kids” now that they are raised and on their own they are “ my daughter/ son”

That reactive abuse .. when they antagonize you till you flip out .. and with a straight face , calm & innocent look at you how your yelling and being abusive . . I wish they'd teach this in high-schools this NPD bc this is the real pandemic

@@victoriavitoroulis3273 my mother even concocted a lie just to taunt me, telling me I'd left my "snaps" at their place. Like sewing button snaps. just to apparently let me know they were pushing me to the point I'd snap. I haven't really though...I've told some blunt truths....like that she is a sadist and a psychopath....but all she did was deny it, haughtily. Just the way you'd expect a psychopath to.

You have a very strange idea of "fun".

@@sheilajac Sounds like you're still at the "engaging with the narcs" stage. Ever heard of the saying, "don't wrestle with a pig, you'll only get covered in .... and the pig will enjoy it". You don't live with them so just go no contact!

@@obscurum6 the "snap" thing was 4-5 years ago, however, I am pretty damn sure I saw my mother in the town I live in yesterday, with some older man I don't know driving her car (she's sick and had cataract surgery recently, so I don't think she's driving anymore). they happened to be going the same way I was, I was behind them, I realized the car was identical to my mother's and then they pulled right into the parking lot of the dog park, which is where I was going and where I am often stalked and fked with. Why I didn't walk up to them and see if it was her/make up a dumb question in case it wasn't, I don't know. My brother has also been stalking me where I live, despite living 40 minutes away from me, driving past my house wearing disguises, in my mom's car once with my nephew and I believe my dad stole my keys and made a copy of my house key last year, and that my brother has been in my house when I wasn't home, probably also has a key now...I have no idea why or wtf other than that they are delusional and psychotic, which they accused me of being. I confronted my brother with that smear last week (after no contact since 2018) and he denied it....I have it in quotes from my doctor, in my medical records. So its now 100% confirmed he is a liar as well. I'm in total isolation because of long-term stalking & harassment, since 2014, so "fun" for me these days is using my mind, hiding in the house. I've had 2 set-up, insurance fraud "accidents", one in 2017 and one in 2018, then had my first "at fault" parking lot ding a couple months ago, trying to avoid anyone setting me up again, ironically, so my insurance has doubled and they won't insure me for collision even, so I am afraid to drive anywhere and last summer I was stalked and tripped and broke a piece off my hip at my favourite beach close to my house, so now I no longer even want to go there. I'm a prisoner in my own house. Someone even poisoned my sushi 2 years ago, with a laxative. 3 tires ruined by intentional sabotage, one of which was a 4" flat-head bolt!!! Like you'd need a sledgehammer to get that thru a tire. While I was at another of my favourite places, that I don't go to anymore. Another time it was 2 screws less than 1" apart, so the tire couldn't be repaired and I had to buy a whole new set because Costco won't let you replace just 1 tire. I need legal help, as in police and a lawyer. Like yesterday....which might be part of the motive for some of the harassment, trying to distract me. I have the means to off myself at any moment but I am sure as hell not going to do that until I file a lengthy and thorough police report with a cop who isn't retarded or corrupt. 5 women in a group I used to be a part of, have killed themselves. I was supposed to be one of them. Mental and psychological torture by proxy with messed up crap being said to me for 5 years, mostly by strangers. and my family.

Ruin your life is more accurate.

Stephanie Wall,You look stunning 🌹🌷🌷

At some point you have to move on! Dr. C

Good for you! 👏

In my Marriage 27 years just last year discoverd he is for sure a Covert Narc. I was oringinally researching my parents. My dad ud 10 out if 10 a grandiose Narc. Wondering if I get an attorney will he/she be fooled!

@@SurvivingNarcissism I did, but it was only after 30 years of marriage that we divorced. Better late than never.

I didn't know what I didn't know. My covert narcissist also checks every box (toss in aspects of the communal an toxic narc). Those of you who left ... was the divorce a worse battle than expected or is life better now?

Yes! Dr. C

Sometimes Les is more

@@collie8 I’m sitting outside in public and just shouted, “YES!” so you damn mfn right amen 🙏🏾

Dr. Carter, confronts the tough issues… I’ve experienced this level of alienation, gaslighting And still resolving a legal matter birthed out of a narcissistic relationship…. I love his philosophy about respect and decency… The good stuff!

@@collie8 😆👍

@@s.carter4087 I heard a saying somewhere- maybe it was a meme someone posted on Quora. "There's nothing worse than being played by someone you lowered your standards for." AAAAHHHHH.....love..not! In my case, I was being understanding of the fact that he was going through a rough time; lost his job and car...Fortunately he never asked me for anything materially, but man he was abusive psychologically.

Extremely accurate. Very painful reality.

Not to mention the terror of realizing they are the enemy.

@@erinmorrow5001 yep

That would be dangerous! To be self aware instead of going with the flow going no where but down Remember the bully in the school ground? It’s gone from that to murderous rages! This is an exact correlation of taking the Lord’s Prayer out and in its stead- a dead conscience of protecting children!!!

Yep. I've realized that it also primes you for being susceptible to other narcissists to come in and gang up in ruining your happiness. I would suggest a few things that are almost guaranteed to turn things around. They all boil down to "learning to love yourself" by putting effort into improving you. 1) Start exercising. Just go for walks, join a gym, do "anything" because getting out of the house and being mobile will eliminate that anxiety and frustration. 2) Buy some relationship/self help books and read them. I liked "the verbally abusive relationship" and "maybe you should talk to someone." Both on amazon and great reads. "The road less traveled" is a good one too, along with "how people change." 3) Absolutely no contact with these people if they're out of your life, or as minimal contact as possible. They are really good at tricking you into thinking things are ok; don't believe it. Gray rock these people. 4) Pick up an old hobby, or any hobby, that you can do in your downtime. Sometimes you'll have to force yourself to do it but once you get started it's much easier to keep it going. The idea is you have to force yourself into things that are good for you; narcissists work by keeping us from doing these things, slowly making us miserable over time.

That makes two of us. Imagine if there was no Internet ?? I thot only Hitler and Adi Amin type were Narcissists. While I was a scape goat in the narc family. 8 narcs out of 11.

I feel your pain.

Sandy Prinz,You are beautiful 🌷,I think you deserve better 🙏

I understand what you are saying. My oldest son destroyed my life. I love him so much still. But I refuse to see him. He's dangerous now. It hurts more than words can express.

My adult child, was a lier and disloyal, it took years 4 me to see what she really was, there were many signs even from a young age, but u try so hard to help them become a nicer person my oh my do they pull the wool over yr eyes. Especially if u have not heard of Narcissistic behaviour.. Her father was one. I am free now 4 yrs. Glad to be rid.

BIG HUGS, I know how lonely and gut wrenching it is to love someone like this.i was married st 14, oh I could write a book on being beaten threatened with taking my kids who I lived for so once they got older he worked them good and all three hate me now. It kills me to even think about it. I'm 59 now still with him ,I didn't even know what narc was till my therapist said you need to study it.I wish I could put my memories into words and help other young people think before falling for someone t h at only brings doubt and pain. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR FUTURE

@@DiamondGirl333 I'm so sorry I know your pain first hand. Its more than the death of your dreams its the death of your soul.

Yes, the flying monkeys should be called idiot monkeys as one KZfaqr said.

This test is repentance of sin (pride/narcissism) and following Jesus (being humble/grateful = Isaiah 53). You will know the true followers of Christ by their actions... John 16:33

@@jsf8145 ... please read another book, which you may like equally well....Who Wrote the New Testament? The Development of the Christian Myth, by scholar Burton Mack. The story is quite fascinating, is derived from historical elements, and told with sensitivity and great care. The concluding chapter is most appropro for people living today.

@@jeanettecook1088 Thanks for the recommendation and I will check it out! If interested in a book I've found to be helpful as extra food for thought, please consider checking out a book called "The Case for Christ" written by a former atheist Lee Strobel. Also, I've enjoyed reviewing the science & geological evidence presented in a documentary on KZfaq called "Is Genesis History - Full documentary". Very interesting perspectives given by scientists with Phd's in geology. I've always felt it's good to be open minded to other people's perspectives for a deeper understanding.

Touché

Yes and also a vetting process to keep malignant narcissist's/sociopath's/psychopath's out of positions of power.

Practice self care. Just knowing someone would make the effort to know you and assist you can be so valuable. Dr. C

Lucky you to have a cat ! Love your cat ...and yourself ! And also, ...see , being here on this channel... you can see ..that you are not alone !!! All the best wishes to you !🧡

I was trying to explain that to someone. They get some kind of sick satisfaction out of making you feel uncomfortable, or just plain bad.

Yes, I believe you"

@@Donita1213 Yes, I believe you" ...

I was married 35 years too. I left an empty shell of myself. Slowly finding out who I am. Money sucks at this point.

they win because they have no issue with lying their asses off, unless you can catch them in a provable lie, that's really the only way you might get them.

A problem is with narcs and creating laws is the ability to prove from outside the relationship who is doing the lying and drama generating and who is baring the burden Especially among teens and young adults. While the minds are so quick and there's so much creativity. How do you stop a sick child from hearing from the narc, it's going to be alright, to its your fault you know.. They're both lies. One. is a lie to generally jump start security And the other is to say, I ain't taking blame for this, even though your a kid and have never experienced a repeated good example of responsibility from your parent. You can't pass a law against all lies. Because some lies are meant to help. Like, you can't make a law preventing all liberty. That's worse than slavery. We could eliminate marriage based in mutual attraction to love and create all marriage as pre_arranged. But we wouldn't have the American system anymore. We might have India, or China, or Muslimbook but it wouldn't be the America people born before 1970 know/knew. people have to learn to handle it as Dr Led says, in their own way, even if it means changing their lives. You know in your head you'll be thinking.. you frigging ruined my life. But it's also I have live what jerks, life, the government thru at me... at least it somehow balances, manages, perfect storms it way out. I agree in the Laws thing to say, but can not see how we will maintain America as AMERICA(I'm over 60), any. I'm still dealing with creeps BS, but... Good luck

I believe I saw a news story that the UK is considering bringing out a criminal charge for “coercive control”.

He made sure to have me homeless or live and be dependent on him. No way. Left the country to live cheaply but it’s heaven however all the ground and security I lost through his sabotage has left me vulnerable economically. That’s the hardest part.

Congratulations!! I'm sorry you have suffered.. I hope you have a new happiness and freedom. Much love to you. ❤️✌️💕

God bless you. May you have true peace and go on detached from all your past unkindness, into God glorious light and love.

@@dirtysanchez941 love and blessings to you ❤️

@@susanmunoz7688 Blessings and love to you as well ❤️

I know about that, they can't stand to see happiness or positivity. They're straight trash!!!

Yes the are experts in ‘Happiness Prevention’. Every time my family planned a get together and each of brought our specialties, we were the last ones there cause mr narc would have sabotaged my efforts in making my contribution, and then drive either like a maniac or a snail. I’d be in tears along the way, but try to compose myself in front of the family. Not going through that again. I’ll just stay home.

Good way to describe how it devolves. Dr. C

That's why I made it point #1. It's an impossible conundrum. Dr. C

Holy hell, that sounds like my aunt. I recently saw all the court filings against her, she never lost, not even once. It’s a weird circle of like 8 narcs who all sorta hate eachother (but weirdly respect eachother for their narc tendencies, it’s strange af), and they take it out on all the normal folk around. Now, half have bought into the QAnon funkiness, which, dont get me wrong I love a good conspiracy, leads to even more reality shattering capacity, it’s quite odd. My piano performance friend deals with a similar thing, and recently had to cut ties with everyone in the family. One of them convinced the entire family to sell everything and build an underground bunker for the “apocalyptic event on the horizon”. The best thing anyone can do is avoid putting gas on the fire, but there’s a lot of gas lying around atm. I’m glad you’re out of the mess, it is extremely taxing on everything. Gl out there buddy 🤟🦔🦝🌙

i have a sister just like yours.

That is horrible! So sorry! Sending you love and hugs 💜

Damn

First, it should be no surprise to anyone that narcissistic parents do this to their children. We see this in every parts of life. Almost all bigots learned their bigotry from their parents. There have been lots of studies showing that most domestic abusers came from abusive childhood. This is the same problem with extended families and communities. When I went no contact with my siblings, it affected my relationship with everyone. They used every opportunity to cast me as the cold, cruel villain. The majority of my relatives didn't want to get involved, so they would exclude me. The funny thing about my nieces and nephews was that they would nod along with them. Then as they became adults away from home, they would start making contact. It was usually little things, but they spoke volumes. They started including me in their group emails and announcements, etc. I started getting happy birthday and congratulations from them. And invitations to their big events.

Me too Gary. These people are despicable. They try and destroy us. Good wishes to you . I'm done. It's just a financial thing for me right now with affording my own place or I'd be gone yesterday. Just remember how empty they are and be proud to be you !!! Good luck !

Thank you Deborah for your kindness and support. I’m here if you need someone to listen and help in any way

If freedom is what you want, I hope that you can create a plan to escape. I know it’s not easy. In my experience, narcs are usually miserable and they like to keep others miserable as well.

Dr. C. is truly a wonderful person in a very sick world full of a miserable, harmful people.. He's like a fresh breath of normalcy. I wish you all the best! I pray that we all get to live a life of freedom and peace 🙏🏻🌷

Congratulations! I’m certain it was incredibly tough. So good hearing you remained committed to love....and it paid off.

Congrats!

@@brettneuberger6466 ❤️

@@tracydanneo ❤️

Glad it worked out for you, Sticks & Stones. I loved my daughter and kept trying for 25 years to reconcile, but she wouldn't talk to me, only treat me with hatred and contempt. She believed all the lies and forgot who I was. As you say, love and open communication. It's hard for children when they're being encouraged to distrust and suspect a parent who loves them. They're abused psychologically and emotionally and confused and learn to deceive, gossip, be secretive, entitled, contemptuous, judgemental and angry. They miss out on their loving family. Finally I learnt about NPD and gave up my false hopes, let go and stopped begging. She'd been telling me to f... off for decades and says I'm a crazy f...... bitch. It's been torture.

They are batshit!!

And after he threw his toddler tantrum he then insisted YOU apologize.

I am heavily berated for spending a few pounds on an essential spare part for my classic car which helps to maintain its value, whereas my narc will happily spend over £100 on a pair of shoes which are worthless after the first time they are worn.

Thank you, D M. #TeamHealthy

Yes, because we assumed other people would have the moral compass we have, and it takes years to realize that they didn't and they don't nor will they ever. It is a relief, because then you can forgive yourself and move forwards, good luck!

I'm so sorry. Hold onto your good character. Dr. C

My father has done the same thing with my sister and her son. I don’t like going home anymore.

To the person who said "You raised her" - actually the narc and I raised her. Anyone who's been in a situation like that will understand the kind of subversion and behind-the-scene undermining that goes on in such a relationship, often totally unbeknownst to the parent who is not the narc. I only see what he did in retrospect. It never occurred to me that anyone would purposefully try to place a divide between their child and the other parent, particularly during a time when the parental relationship seemed stable. So yes a lot of me is in her - but a lot of the narc is in her too, and it comes out in unexpected ways and times.

@@tulanzuya - That was an awful thing that happened to you. Even more shocking than the things that were done to me. I'm sorry. While I was reading your post, I thought back to when I was nursing the baby. Is it possible these games would start that early.? He started before the baby was 4 mos. checking on us nursing in the bedroom. Kept saying "done yet?" Soon he took the baby, sat him up in the high chair and started feeding him the early baby food, rice cereal, fruit. So every day he took the baby and fed him breakfast. 4mos the baby didn't want anything to do with me any more. I felt like my baby had been stolen from me. But I told myself that was a good thing that he wanted to take care of the baby. Now I'm not so sure.

Thank you for these words of encouragement. Dr. C

I agree. Different levels of course. But even a little is very toxic. It compounds

@@hebertjerome Sad but true. I have been forced to isolate myself from family and friends because of his unsocial behavior. His tantrums have become increasingly problematic. His “will do better.” has never happened. How would he know how to do better? Regrettably he has declined personal counseling. Though I received so much guidance and wisdom from family therapist, but he, wait for it folks, he “didn’t need it.” Thankfully we had no children, so innocent folks haven’t been impacted. He shows no empathy or concern regarding anything. Gray rock? It’s like two strangers on a bus to no where, we’ve been married 57 years, I just wish for one good day.No need to ask why we remained married, call me Stupid.

Putting the puzzle pieces together is exactly it..it is so confusing and they are expert at keeping us confused and feeling guilty. I left 1.5 years ago I can see clearly now that he can’t mess with my brain anymore.

Amen‼️

This is so true. The narcs choose evil and try to block our access to the light . Walking away takes courage and determination and loving support.

So pleased the video resonated, Sherry. My heart is with you. Dr. C

They don’t have to get their hands dirty. It can be very confusing to figure out who is the main narc. Unless you happen upon a nasty letter or Facebook comments written by a flying monkey like I did.

@@TWILLIE639 Yes, very confusing. But now Dr C is helping us understand at last. May every broken heart be comforted.

@Pearl Clutch Sorry for his loss. It's been 21 years since her death and she is still a complete anomaly.

@Gemma Dann Yes. I've embraced the grey rock method for many years. My daughter is getting married in 2022 & his insecurities are getting triggered that people will note us not speaking @ her event. Nobody cares! It's her day, not his.

@Gemma Dann 👍😊

I’ve heard similar. Sorry. I’m sure your shoes were much nicer!

My mom.

🤣 oh yes....I was told " oh you look much fair skinned now that you use my home made oil...you used to look sooo dark before " and " oh ...you dress up much better ever since you came into our family..." And " oh you must have learnt that from me ....it's so beautiful " etc etc etc

I believe the appearance of being calm and cool is a total sham. They are seething inside like a dormant volcano and God help you when they explode. At least that’s been my experience for 57 years with mine. 57 years, Mark is a lifetime ….wasted. There is no healing, just lick the wounds you received today and brace yourself for more sh++ to come! I wish you best of outcomes..

Amen! I'm standing beside you ❤️

@@micheleshively8557 Thank you Sis! 🥰

Parents shouldnt be telling their kids "everything" anyway, it goes to show how messed up they are, they dont have anyone else to talk to. Really they need a therapist of their own

These are the worst, they know what they are doing is wrong.

⁵sept:kazë: glad to see 'Ex-narc...' sharing from other 📫 post. my three children have suffered emotional violence and psychological violence under the care of my spouse their father. I got to endure the physical violence, my middle child tried to call me a martyr for staying, because i mentioned i was sort of a deflection for them from the abuse. I said nope, not a martyr because i chose to put my career goals and personal goals aside temporary, as i raised a 'FAMILY', what? was i suppose to just walk out on my family the first time he insulted me, devalued me or physically abuse me (because he often threatened to take my/our children away). Told my child there was nothing that was going to take me away from 'MY FAMILY', not while i was still standing. Sure, currently separated due to assualt family violence case against him (no contact order), my children are pissed at me and blame me for him being taken into custody. My therapist says they are going through the 'Stockholm Syndrome'. I make sure when they are around me, i do not speak of their dad (no bad mouthing) , what he's done or is doing to me, don't use them to gather information on my spouse or send messages through them, try my very best not to include them in what my spouse and i are currently dealing with. Was suggested to me to break all physical ties temporarily with my children while we (spouse and i) are in the midst of the storm (talk of divorce and 2 year protective order against him). Because like some on this post are going through, the children are currently siding with my spouse and for now i am ok with that (brain wash...), at least they are no longer in the toxic household with two people who could no longer stand each other, no 'RESPECT' either way . Perhaps now our children will see and realize how different each parent really is, me for example started healing by not living in chronic hypervigilant survival mode, no more mania from constant threats of being taken to the mental hospital when he was triggered. Your children need to see the hope, see that you stood up for yourself and for them and said 'this ends here and now'. See that you do have purpose, have meaning, and command respect not demand it. We as parents are 'an OBLIGATION' to our kids 'NOT AN OPTION'.

Understatement of the century

My partner is going through this, now. Sad thing is, his Mother is the narcissist that has used the kids as tools. (Along with their mother's help) it's hard to explain, this woman literally has everyone she comes in contact with become her supporters. Family, extended family, friends, colleagues.... it truly blows my mind.

@@AzazelsWings I'm very sorry this is happening. Yes, my mum and her husband too .. everybody. It's not right, or fair, didnt deserve it .. we know what's happening/happened.. and sadly this is not a situation we can hope for the best with is it. The betrayal .. its soul destroying. Its good you're there. It's just me now .. I left them all, bit by bit. It's been sooooo hard. We dont deserve it. And we realize, they never loved us .. so £u@€ them. I'm never letting anybody do this to me ever again, and I'm gonna enjoy my life. Mum died Christmas Day just gone. I'm just glad I saw it all and have worked through it. They're miserable thieves. I'm so sorry. You both don't need them, none of them. Keep well and praise God for showing you

The thief comes to steal kill and destroy but I have come so that you may have life and have it to the full. ~ Jesus Lord, in Jesus name please return to us every thing that has been stolen from us by the enemy. Thank you, Lord. Amen.

They are thieves, Jack, you made no mistake in that assessment. The worst kind of thieves in my opinion. For that the price needs to be paid.

@@AzazelsWings yes its like they posses people.

I haven't seen my 6 yo grandson in 18 months. My children are afraid to speak to me for fear she will cut them off too.

@@elaineproffitt1032 Sorry for you hun, yep flying monkeys all over the place. Sending virtual hugs.

Yes , Elaine I haven’t seen my 6 year old grandson for 18 months and my daughter told me that he thinks I’m dead. Broke my heart. I can’t take her to court as she a solicitor and is so good with words that I would lose. Miss my grandson. 😌

21 since I have seen my son.

@@MichNative01 I completely understand how painful it is for you not being able to enjoy your family. Those young children we cherished have also grown older tho not necessarily wiser, and many have become complete strangers, to our regret. They disavow our spiritual values, patriotism, political views, educational institutions, military service to our country, and in many cases, employment. We had dreams for our children’s future success, but our dreams are not always their dreams, are they?

My situation was excactly the other way around. Grandparents that didn't know any boundaries. We, as adult children, did the excact same thing as the children mentioned in your comment. It's a difficult situation.😞

The same thing happened to me!! Exactly. Unbelievable.

Thank goodness it didn't work and she's your ally.

@@Elizabeth-yg2mg I am so grateful that she was smart enough to see through his ruse. I read so many stories about victims of narcs whose children sided with the narc. My stbx was actually one of those children himself- he sided with his own narc father against his mother.

💯 percent

He has the perfect “nice guy” image, always the victim….. I am the crazy one for not sticking around to “work” on the relationship…he told me I need Double the meds! for anxiety (he created). So glad I left.

I had same experience, talking with friends about what I been through - they often come to the wrong conclusion and saying "call them", "talk with them". We know its the oposit we need to do, it just doesnt make sence for others (which ofcourse is understandable). So its very difficult to talk about and we all need to talk about things which is preventing us for moving forward, like this. I found that not using the N-word and just describe what happened in the situations gave better results. We can use the word to make us understandable to each other because we have been through it. Beside of that, be carefull only to talk about this subject to people you know would do the same things for you, that you anytime would do for them. And remember if you and the N know the same people, the N probably already have secured he/she looks better in their eyes - long time before you had a chance. That way, people you thought you know before, now suddenly have changed their position in favour of the N. That is the worst part.

Yes, thank you. Nacrs are very good at making themselves look good and you are the bad person. Oh, the stories I could tell...you would not believe.

Priceless. I so love the validation & sanity.

My friends experienced this with their grandson. Take heart. When their grandson was able to leave the home, he reached out to them wanting a relationship. I pray this happens with your granddaughter.

Roberta, my friend, I understand your feelings, regrettably. I pray that God will work His miracles and change their cold and mean spirited hearts. For what it’s worth, they are the real losers here. Keep the faith, it is no secret what God can do. In the meantime, being away from them minimizes your exposure to the increasing risks of Covid. Stay strong! ❤️ eliz

My son died. I get 3 days a year visit with my granddaughter on my DIL’s terms only. I do it with the hopes the child might want to learn more about her daddy as she gets older. Are all these people narcissists or just plain mean?

@@TWILLIE639 I’m so sorry about your son. I believe that narcissism is a learned behavior as my daughter in-law, her sister & their parents seem to all have it. Their abuse is constantly intensifying. It never stops. I continue to pray without ceasing & I know that God is watching & that his Word says that he settles all accounts. 🙏🏻

Going through the same. This is his whole defense. And he hasn’t got a leg to stand on, because I’ve always (even after moving out) tried to get him to talk to and connect with our teen-aged children. But it still scares me, because he fancies himself a lawyer and is very good at reading people and using them to get what he wants.

You too huh? Went no contact with entire narc family after my parents passed. I had tried everything. It took me 50 years to finally realize there was a name and action plan for their disorder. Good luck with your process

I don't want to bother you, but saying a childs experience is not true is gaslighting.

@@oOIIIMIIIOo Yes but who is doing the gaslighting?? I agree....but who is the narc??

So telling me, who paid 4 and arranged many of these events that it did not happen, when I know they did?? Who is doing the gaslighting?

@@MichNative01 You said, she complains about her growing up and you talk about of some paid events? First I don't know what you are talking about and second, all about money is a part, too.

I am with you, Dear One. 🙏🏼❤️🕊

You're right, it really can be hard to come to terms with this, given the fact that some are going to come against you no matter what. Stay steady and keep learning, Carol. Dr. C

Your wife shouldn't treat her daughters that way. They deserve inheritance from their mother. A mother shouldn't hurt their kids that way and should be there for them. I know you say all four of these people all happen to be narcissists, but I don't believe that. One narc? Two narc? OK, but four, and two are your wife's daughters? Nope. I think you are alienating their mother against them. Furthermore, why did your wife marry TWO narcissists and then you??

Those are still her children, you are putting yourself invetween. She has responsibility to her daughters whether you're there or not. Sounds to me like you are experiencing some narcissistic thinking and behavior yourself.

@@mygirldarby Walk a mile in my shoes! Only then can you possibly be able to comment. The dads started the wedge a long time ago and the girls made their choice. My wife put BOTH girls through University totally on her own dime. Both still don't have a job and when mom refused to continue being an ATM machine, they started the smear campaign with the help of their dads. Inheritance? My wife definitely does NOT owe either one of them anything. She was a single mom when we met and whatever those girls have today is largely due to their mom's contribution. We already have more than enough flying monkeys, thank you very much!

@@paddycraig We are all here baring our souls doing our best to survive narcissism. A little support would be GREATLY appreciated! Without knowing the entire story, it is presumptuous of anyone to make such comments. My wife and I have enough flying monkeys already. Yes, they still are her daughters. However, the amount of narcissist abuse this amazing empathic woman has endured over the past 25 years has put her in a position to say ENOUGH! BTW, this is my second marriage. My first wife of 23 years was diagnosed with Schizophrenia just 3 years into that marriage which means I was her caretaker through all THAT craziness for 20 years. Your suggestion that I may be a narc couldn't be further from the truth. As I said to another commenter, walk a mile in the other person's shoes before you offer another insensitive comment.

no my father as well

Must be my husband's twin.

Keep watching Dr. Carter.. You'll learn even more wonderful things about yourself. I don't know you, but I love you. We are like family here. Best wishes and keep feeling better, less isolated. "You know we aren't making this up." As Dr. Carter said. In two years time, watching Dr Carters channel, I've really worked through a lot of anger, and pain. I'm amazed at how accurate his description is. ❤️❤️❤️

Same here. Because dealing with the meanness and contempt from a narcissist is so isolating and lonely. Watching these videos and reading these comments has made me see how many others suffer with this also.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE‼️