When the dad spoke, i started crying .... wow the Love of God is tangible 😢😢😢😢

Relebogile is a REALLY great interviewer/conversationalist.

I feel like that is 1 thing adoptive parents can learn from Angelina Jolie, take the time to let the kids learn about their roots, birthplace, culture and language. It can become an identity disassociation issue also.

When the father said "its always good to be part of anything my children do" it melted my heart ❤️

It's amazing how Relebogile managed to conduct this interview without any judgement.

I think race and ethnicity are two different things. Racially she's Black ethnically she's Afrikaans, that's her culture.

She is needs so much healing. Her anger and hate towards her biological parents is heartbreaking. Also she is black. She kept the Molefe surname for a reason!

As a person who studied journalism I think the interviewer did an excellent job. Her questions were intelligent and on point. Bravo!!!

It’s honestly okay if she believes she’s white however her perspective on black people and culture is quite offensive. Mari needs a lot of healing and acceptance 🥲. Great interview Relebogile and the family is so loving and open minded.

Saw this as a clip on twitter and reserved my comment because I felt I needed context. It's clear that it was not a conscious decision for her to identify as white, it simply resulted because of how she was raised. This was a very insightful chat indeed and should I meet someone with a similar background to her I feel I am more equipped to interact with them because of this show. Subscribed!

Unpacked is the best thing I've come across on KZfaq 😍😍😍😭😭 I'm so invested. Relebogile you're definitely a powerhouse, I've never seen an interviewer like you. ❤️❤️ Not even Oprah can!!

My favorite person in this interview is Kobus, his intelligence and genuineness came through. I think he proved that people are wrong when they think it is the family that made her reject her race. It might be her underlying issues with her biologically family, but she would only be able to identify and work on it if she goes to therapy. But Kobus was such a breath of air during this interview, even the host could feel it.

I understood her but she lost me when she said she cant date a black man with an identical up bringing as her, she will see him as black but see her self as white. That just threw me off. She had a different upbringing but her feelings and thoughts about black people, she is definitely being racist.

I went to University with Mari and definitely think this was a short interview to get to fully understand her. I have a lot of empathy for her but also recognise the survivor she is. By the way she has matured a lot and found growth in expressing who she is. In University she had more stricter and inflexible ways of defining who she was. Let’s learn to love and not judge guys.

The father really adores her, she is his lil girl.

The presenter is very professional and empathetic, and shows true interest... She makes the guest feel so comfortable

She doesn’t see it yet but if she starts dealing with the issues she has with her biological parents she would solve half of her identity issues.

Relebogile is a top notch interviewer, Wow, what a powerhouse! Marie and her family is so beautiful, may God bless you all abundantly

The one thing I'm truly grateful for is my mom was always present I learned my Xhosa culture whilst being raised by my white family had the best of both worlds.

This show does what it says - Unpacks. Well done Lebo.

Love how the interviewer listens and doesn't interrupt her guests

Love Kobus's sense of Ubuntu. He's a realist and such a breath of fresh air.

It seems she has a lot of healing to do. But, she comes from a wonderful family and I applaud them for providing her a loving home. The interviewer is ON POINT btw.

I’m trying to keep an open mind and sympathise with her kodwa hayi sana some of the things she said are mind boggling.

I understand her fully and respect her journey. I will leave it at that.

Race issues aside, Marie is loved at home. And if nothing else makes sense, the love is crystal clear and she should just focus on that ❤️. She has a solid foundation of love and acceptance. Thina with our insistence on not understanding her and wanting her to heal should go heal our own damn hearts which struggle to accept the diversity.

Fantastic interview. Nothing beats the power of love

I am white and have a 13 year old black daughter who also identifies as white, this interview has shed a light on so much. Thank you Mari and Lebo

I tried to listen with an open mind. Tried to relate by drawing from my own experience of having been in a 1st languange Afrikaans school since pre democracy and having been partially raised by my biracial Afrikaans speaking grand mother... but several things she said just didn't make sense to me and cringed once or twice. The interview was handled very well and without judgment.

I understand here story, but I think it would be better if she identified herself through her culture as Afrikaaner not race (white). But then I might be wrong.

What matters for me is that she had a better chance at life to succeed. She got all the love and support she needed.. Anything else haywethu mpaa.

I have never been this speechless on the face of the earth. Marie story is beautiful yet extremely painful. The multilayeredness nature or her pain and trauma topped with an identity crisis. I hope she finds healing. Much loves sis Marie❤

Her father spoke so beautifully, we need more people like him in this country. None of the people around them adopted any black child during that error but they did not knowing what the future hold but they saw a baby that needed their love and they gave it to her.

As trans-racial adopters her parents had a responsibility to teach her how to navigate life as a black woman on a racial level regardless of the fact that ethnically she grew up Afrikaans. They sheltered her instead of giving her the necessary tools to embrace her racial identity. Them also putting her in all white schools had a detrimental effect on her psyche. Even putting her in all black schools wouldn't have worked. It would've resulted in her code switching (toning down her Afrikaansness) just to fit in. A multiracial school would've worked best. She would've been able to interact with kids from different ethnic and racial backgrounds and she would've learnt that her race doesn't negate her ethnic background. That it doesn't have to be one or the other. She would know she can exist as both black and Afrikaans. Black = Race and Afrikaans = Ethnicity. She wouldn't associate her trauma of rejection with her race. She'd be able to see her parents as people who had their own struggles , who made mistakes instead of associating their race and ethnicity with the fact that they rejected her. She would really realise that them not being able to take care of her has nothing to with them being Tswana or black but everything to do with who they are as people. Her adoptive parents kind of put their heads in the sand when it comes to this.

After watching the whole interview I now understand why she said what she said. I pray for her and everyone out there that’s been abandoned by their own and then resurface later in life wanting money. She explained it so well that she doesn’t miss anything in life because she HAD parents. Love for you Mari ❤️

"from us the got the opportunities but who she is , she got from her family..." i just love the way Boeta Kobus puts it

I'm here from Tiktok😁, why didn't I know about this? 🍿

Petition to have full episodes on TV hle.

The look she gave Oom Klasie is of pure love, daughter daddy love! Big ups to this family.

I'm possibly the only person who is just here for the story. Everything else; each to their OWN life.💃🏾

Trust me this show is going to be fireee

Love the way you posed your questions Relebogile. Mari girl, your feelings are valid , it’s very normal to identify with the people who raised you . I am happy you found the love and family you needed . Sometimes that’s all that’s important.

Guys this person is perfect the way she is. This is her truth and none of us have the right to judge.. This is who she is there is nothing shocking about this

All that matters is that she was raised in a loving family

It’s so interesting how interracial adoption can look so similar and yet be so different in experience. I see parts of myself in Mari & I truly wish her the healing and acceptance that she and all of us deserve on our journeys 🤍 Thank you for sharing your story and Sis Relebogile, your compassion, willingness to understand and curiosity for the heartfelt truth is something to behold! I’m a new subbie for sure!!

The brother has a good head on his shoulders. "You are part of us, but you need to know who you are." Solid big brother advise.

I agree with the interviewer, healing is needed. And learning the difference between race and culture ❤️

I respect anyone who adopts a child and love them like their own...I respect this white family....people must stop looking for the negative where the is none

I like how her eyes light-up when her dad appeared on the screen. So much love right there. Clearly she has so much admiration for her adoptive parents. Ooh you and your wife didn't make any mistake. In my eyes, you did a superb job in raising a child that us not yours, mostly risking being an outcast due to racist around you. Well-done Oom

lol Please please please...let's not be hypocrites. If she was born black and feels white inside and wants to identify as a white woman...why is it an issue? Society says it's okay for someone who was born a man to feel like a woman and identify as one(and vice versa)..or? So how come this lady has "identity issues" and the latter has rights? Can someone please tell me where the limits are and who gets to set them? Please note that I ask this with an open mind to learn. Thank you. God bless you all.

Finally someone who was raised the same way I was someone who understands!! I get this it wasn't easy in terms of fitting in no one gets you in school. Thank you for this interview

Listening to her dad highlights how they did the best with what they knew at the time and what they had. As gogo said Mari was a gift and God had tasked them as a family to take care of her. Now they all know better and differently and that will ensure future generations don't experience what Mari did. God bless you Gogo, Tannie and Oupa ❤️❤️

I honestly don’t want to judge, I think she has a lot of healing but who doesn’t. Nobody comes out of this life unscathed, people hurt us and we form opinions about them (rightfully or not). The adoptive parents did the best they could with the information they had at the time. Parenting is hard.

The way the Dad spoke about this whole thing made me tear up. It takes a very special person to raise a child that's not theirs. Especially an Afrikaner family to raise a black child in that era. Yoh!

I'm black and I've never learned to eat with my hands. I don't know what she's talking about. She must differentiate between race and culture. She's not white She's Afrikaans. You would think with all her education, she'd know that. She's from a wonderful family btw.

Relebogile is good at her job, well done sis!

This is a very peculiar interview. Watching from the United Kingdom, with mixed-race children who are London born but can speak Zulu, only through me.

I remember her from my time at University of Pretoria. Shes actually a nice person. You get over the disconnect between her melanin skin presentation and the inner afrikaans person within minutes of meeting her.

My only problem with her is she associates her pain pre-adoption with race. She can not seem to accept that her parents were just bad parents & it has got nothing to do with color. I had amazing black parents. She sounds lowkey racist which is weird to say. She needs to heal.

The father just seems so loving, woow

I hear why she’d identify as white but at the same time feels like a part of her is trying by all means to eliminate anything that might dilute her “whiteness” like not dating black men(people have different preference but I feel for her, part of that decision is influenced by that more than pure preference). Sounds like she is “trying” to fit in a group of people that has accepted her for who she is. This family is open to more her black side than she is. I also get why it was hard for oom(dad) to answer how she sees her and all that, after making someone a part of you, you just see them as part of you(human), now to think deeper into race especially in a very sensitive country/world could be something else for him. Trust fathers to spoil their little girls(in a good way) and saying they don’t 😂😂😂❤️you can just see by her smile when dad came on

This shows that there's life beyond race. Children come to this world as a clear canvas to be brought up in a loving home and that's all they need.

Love the way she said, “stop harassing me, I’m not giving you money”. That is being truly honest, takes courage. Her biological parents should be ashamed to only want to connect when she’s famous and want money. Would they have wanted same if she was just an ordinary person without fame.

Ahh the look in her eyes when she sees her dad just brought tears in my eyes. That love is deep. ❤️

Love the professionalism of the presenter. Mari there’s nothing wrong with being black.

This Van Heerden family is so lovely 😍❤ I love the father. The presenter did a brilliant job..well done K! I respect her story. I was not able to align to her not being able to date a black guy that grew up similarly to her. I found it discriminatory to a level and I'm unable to reconcile but this is teaching us something.

Relebogile, I admire how your mind works. Your questions are so thought provoking and so engaging.

I wish to apologize for my initial reaction when I saw carefully edited clips making rounds on the internet. I was very furious when she said she identify as white in those edited clips on tik Tok and FB. But now I have watched the interview. I want to say Thank you for sharing your story with us. We love you and you may continue to find healing. You absolutely amazing

I'd love for Lebo to bring the biological parents and granny Maria to the show, so we can get both sides of the story especially after the harassment allegations (my apologies I couldn't come up with a better word)

Relebogile is an amazing interviewer/ presenter. She was so open to learn and engage. Good job Relebogile❤️❤️

This show is here for a reason. To show us that we are different and we should respect our differences. Amen

The dad spoke well ..’love all people all races’Marie must learn from him not to hate her blackness

"I was never taught to be black", " I am a white person" " i don't know their culture", " i don't speak or understand THEIR language" "i was never taught to use my hands to eat", " i date people like myself "white", i don't date black guys, even if they were raised like i was", GOOD LORD!!! I am south african, grew up basically going to white schools, living in white neighborhoods, playing mainly with white kids....we moved to the USA around the time she was adopted into the white family.... I'm around her age now, im engaged to a white guy, but I've went out with black guys because i wanted an opportunity to differentiate, and experience different loves, i wanted to be a part of my culture, i wanted to know my people, we went to african events, listen to african music, we cook and eat african foods, i respect and love my heritage. My partner had to know and understand that i am a black african woman first, and an american second, when you set foot in my parents home you are in africa. If you love me youll have to understand this, you'll learn my culture, try our food, and know and call me by my african name. I may not be fluent in sesotho, or read it or write it well, but i will die trying!!! I've lived with a white family in transition to attaining a US citizenship, but i never accidentally forgot that i was black or forgotten my language, i taught them my language and cooked them the foods my grandmother and my mom cooked for me and they loved it!!! My white brother and sister had a blast, but for one second i have never and never will pretend to forget who i am and where i am from!!!! This girl is a trip, she hates everything that has to do with her skin color, her heritage, her family and everything about herself. If your adoptive dad is even trying to speak your mother tongue and seems to be proud of it, and yet she cant acknowledge that thats her language....thats so wrong on so many levels. For goodness sake she 34/5? Shes too proud. And i feel hurt for her, its not cute. I trie to fly home to south africa every year, yes my fellow black south africans can be very judgemental especially when you're black and having difficulty communicating with them due to language barriers, but at the same time she doesn't seem to try to want to learn and she appears to downgrade other blacks with her ignorance, so of course they'll give you a piece of their one two threes, lol. She seems to treat the blacks the way old skool afrikaaner boers treated blacks then. I'm trying to really emphasize with her and understand her, but she's very very ignorant, and childish. Aaaai man!!! Once she realizes that she's wasting her time with this nonsense.....my boyfriend doesn't see me as black bull****!!! Only if she knew her boyfriend introduces her as her black girlfriend, all his friends know shes a black girl. Lol hai ban!!! The nerve she got!!!! She's 35yrs old!!!!! Nigga please. Find a seat to the far left and have a seat. Tjo!!!!

The interviewer was brilliant. She made her expose her limitations in her thinking.

You’re such a good interviewer, eloquent and good listener too 👌🏽

I really don’t know what to say about this. I am confused. I wish she finds healing.

What an emotional yet beautiful story. I've learnt a lot.

awww man , her brother is so wise and you can tell he truly adores his sister. Hopefully she'll open herself up more to her african culture and embrace both equally as much.

Adoption is so complex, interacial or not. Adoption has so many layers. For the adoptive family, the adoptee and the birth family. I think adoption is a topic that needs to be discussed in more in depth. It's brave of Marie to be so vulnerable. As people we often don't want to listen or hear the perspective of the adoptee. But I can only imagine how conflicted she must feel as person. Thank you for highlighting this topic Lebo!

The moment someone says, “I am not racist” 💔

I respect the Van Heerden family for loving and taken good care of Marie. Ausi Relebogile I salute you. ❤❤🙏

My view from listening to Marie,I feel like she doesn’t wanna identify as black because of issues of abandonment from her biological parents and for the fact that they couldn’t take care of her even her grandmother,I heard Oom saying she had malnutrition when she came over ,that’s my view

This is exactly why adoption requires vetting. This family did what they knew best. But unfortunately because of the lack of mandatory culture implementation. This Black Woman sits conflicted, despises her own race, customs, traditions and isn't interested in connecting. This will filter into her offspring. Indentity is so important to self-esteem and confidence. Really sad. GREAT INTERVIEWER YOU DESERVE A TV SHOW FOR REAL!!

I just want to hug her and tell her that it is okay to hurt and start healing from feeling abandoned. As an adoptive mom, I hurt for her and get that Oom wants to protect her. However, I hope that she finds peace because she deserves it so that she has a much more peaceful life. I pray that when my daughter comes of age she can honour her birth parents for giving her the gift of life and not dismiss them. I make sure that I speak positively about her in our home. I truly pray for her.

I loved every minute of this show, I watched after I had seen a clip of her saying she is white and did not have a background story but after I watched the whole story I actually empathise with her. I honestly think she needs to forgive her parents and realise that black is not all that bad, take her grandmother for instance who was there for her. "Accepting that she is black" doesn't mean "She needs to lead a black life" that's if there's anything like that. All the best with finding who you are and accepting that person❤️🤗

Today i have learnt and saw the love and care the Van Heerden family had taking care for Mari,I am speechless.I feel like Crying,God bless Van Heerden family for rasing this child.

The dynamics of interracial adoption. Very interesting and complex in how they affect identity, personhood and human experience

Marie was very fortunate to grow up around a loving family, most children like her are not so lucky. I honestly understand how Marie sees herself and how she processes reality. What I have learnt from her life story is that what makes a person is not their skin colour, it is their culture and sub cultures.

Twitter brought me here and I was glued for the entire hour! Such an interesting story, kudos to Relebogile for unpacking it so well. Subscribed and cannot wait for the next episode!

Marie: "who decides what you're missing out on". True. It's like having an absent father. How do you miss that which you don't know. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Yes there is a feeling of missing a father figure based on your idea of what a father is and what their role is in a child's life but if you never had it how do you miss it? 🤔

You did a stella job Lebo, this is the real meaning of what unpacking is. Well done 👌🏾

Relebogile, you’re an interviewer of note! What an interesting subject, complex in its nature

Relebogile is such a good listener. The flow of her interviews is so organic and it allows her guests to share their truth without feeling restricted.This is a masterclass on being a great conversationalist through active listening. Interesting interview

Pa speaks with such compassion Boeta is open minded and funny Well done Relebogile on hosting this👌🏾

"eat with my hands" is the first thing that comes to mind when she thinks of "learning to be black" 😩🥴😩🥴😩yoh💔only 18 min into this and my heart is in 10 thousand pieces

Absolutely loved this. Thank you for sharing your story with us

Subscribed 5 minutes in, after seeing how you handled this interview. 💯 Can't wait to watch the rest of your interviews 🥰

Relebogile unpacks the issues so well. Great work 🙌🏼🙌🏼

Beautiful interview. Very clear questions and answers. All the best to the family

An amazing testimony of love!! I believe God knew Mari was going to be the daughter for parents with 5 sons!! She is beautiful and I pray that she will know her identity is not in culture or the color of her skin - she is sooooooo MUCH MORE!!!