Want to travel to Russia for almost nothing. Gopnik travel advisor will show you how. Pioner resort in the northern Russia offers great discounts to all American travelers. No Passports or Visas needed
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Limited time offer for all Americans. Travel agency GULAG
Russian tourist industry and travel agency GULAG hurt by western sanctions in order to gain back the trust of american travelers offers significant discounts on popular Russian destinations. All the possible arrangement are made to meet high standards of an average American traveler. Comfortable bariatric bed, monthly supply of delicious american meals that can feed an average African village for a whole year is there for you to waste, cable television with sports and fox news, books with pictures, waste bucket, wash clothes and other perks that will make you feel yourself at home are placed inside your personal well ventilated freight container. All containers are tightly sealed and then shipped by the sea to the port of Dikson in the Northern Russia. No passports or visas needed. All the questions with customs are handled by us on the spot.
All the fun begins right upon arrival to the port. You will be greeted with traditional bread and salt. If you arrive during local holidays you might have a chance to try samogon and chebureki. Comfortable 1971 bus liaz 677 will take you to the famous russian resort Pioner situated in outskirts of Glorious city of Norilsk. Part of former gulag system. If the bus breaks down during the trip in the middle of the Russian wilderness no need to worry it is our surprise for you. Fresh air, biting frost, 25 hour foot trip to a nearest village is a great opportunity to meet and interact with the local population, do the cultural exchange, sing songs with an accordion and do russki folk dance. Selfies with locals and friendly wildlife are highly recommended. And this is absolutely free, a gift from our company to you, bratan. Enjoy
At Pioner resort hotel fun never ends. All our suites offer magnificent city views, have richly decorated with expensive Siberian plywood walls, equipped with beds made from reliable russian steel. Cleanliness is our priority. That's why every suite is equipped with a broom and dust pan. For most distinguished american guest Pioner resort hotel is proud to offer VIP suites with showers and toilets. And our luxury president suite has even hot water. Just like at home.
At Pioner Resort everything is included, mannaya kasha, syrniki, sosiski, and even local delicacy buckwheat porridge with milk.
At the local beach, just few steps from the hotel, there are a lot of refreshing drinks are offered to meet the most exquisite american taste. Tarkhun, dyushes,cream soda, and legendary buratino, more known to you as pinokio will make you forever forget about western pepsi, kola, sprite and fanta.
There are plenty of entertainment and fun activities that will be equally interesting to adults and children like playing dominos, pioner ball, and badminton.
Watching russia today on the daily basis and 24/7 communist propaganda will help you with your smooth transition into russian reality and make you feel yourself like at home.
You will not even want to leave.
Because
Pioner resort is the most blyatiful place on Earth.
But don't take my word for it.
Find it out for yourself
book your trip today
Come to Russia
Screw USA