People said that she don’t love herself and how she didn’t leave the marriage earlier. But what they don’t know or forgot is that Hmong girls were basically taught to not love themselves growing up. They have to do things to satisfy others so they have good reputations, they were taught to but others feelings before theirs, they were taught to be patient and to put their feelings after everyone’s else’s. She didn’t have any support, even her parents refused to let her back in and everyone around her (the husband and her in laws) manipulate, gaslighting her to stay. So stop blaming her when she couldn’t even get out of that situation when she tried to.

My blood is boiling listening to this story! It's your own fault for stay with this unfaithful man and his niam yau! The nice and love words coming out of a cheating man is never real! Hope you learned a lesson and make your decision wisely with your next relationship. Good luck!

I'm proud of u for getting out of that toxic marriage. Trust me, she didn't win. U did. I wish u the best and pls only move forward, never backward.

I always say we women don't love ourselves enough to take ourselves out of this situation that's why we keep repeating history. We don't need to fight to get him. We need to love ourself because it hurts to stay in that kind of relationship.

Sister, do not punish yourself to much. I know when we are young we are naive. A lot of Hmong girls in the late 1980 to 1990. Have no experience in love. We dated but not in a relationship to understand love. My parents did the same to me. I hated them for it . But am learning to forgive them. During that time some parents choose dignity and pride over us. I beg for my parents to take me back because these people took me home. Instead my parents said, you in there house stay. If you return I will base ball bay you. I was scared and naive I stayed 25 yrs. He cheated on me left me with 6 children. My mom can not face me because I suffer those 25 yrs. Return with 6 children. I learning to love myself. Do not punish yourself because you were young. Wanted love that was not love. I am proud of you for leaving and healing your own heart.

I believe at 17, your parents failed you. You were just a kid and had no business getting married. They didn’t support and take you back so you were stuck in this marriage and had nowhere to go. I’m glad you are finally free now and I wish you all the best.

Tus mi niam tsev nrog koj zoo siab os txoj Kev tso tus neeg yus hlub this yooj yim tab sis hnub koj ua tau lawm ces yog tu siab txaus dhau lawm mog kuv kuj rau koj nkawm khau taug tib txoj Kev txhua yam koj hais yog tag nrho zoo siab uas koj tsis nyob lub neej ntawv lawm

I don’t understand how stupid or desperate these women are to share a husband.

Txoj kev hlub yuam tsis tau yog luag tsis yeej hlub yus lawm es yus pheej mus thab txiv neej cem yus uas dabtsis no poj hmoob aw.

Txiv neej siab txhia ntshav ces zoo no

Tus me viv ncaus tus neeg zoo yeej los raug rau tus phem kav tsij ua zoo peb ua neeg nyob yus yeej yuam kev os es txhob tu siab yeej muaj cov txij neej zoo zoo nyob sab nrauv thiab os. Kuv muaj ib tug nus nws lub neej ua ib tug txiv zoo rau nws tus poj niam tu me tub me nyuam tiam sis nws tus nyab yog ib tug poj laib hnov qhov twg nrov khiav qhov ntawd xwb lub neej piam tas lawm ua neeg nyob tsis hais poj niam los yog txiv neej yeej muaj tus phem tus zoo.

Ruam dhau lawm og

txiv neej siab phem heev

Txiv neej tag lawm os.

I am sorry but you did this to yourself. No matter how many times you refused or disagreed, you still go along with what your husband said. A husband like yours need to see you out of his life and in someone else’s arm. He will be SO jealous. People make so many promises and break them. At this point you should not complained because again you did this to yourself. I hope you will love yourself and build enough confidence to leave his ass. No one can help you, you have to help yourself.

May Leej muam Dai2 siab …Iam here waiting for you ok👍

I blame the parents of the first wife! She was young and clueless… her parents should have asked her to come home, as soon as they found out about the pregnant niam yau. Instead they let her rot in her mistake.

..ntxov ncaws ntxov zoo rau koj nawb

Vuag me viv ncaus aws, twb nyob teb chaw mekas es ua cas koj cov neej tsa tsis pab qhia koj kom txhob ua niam hlob niam yau os. Nkim koj lub sijhawm os me viv ncaus. Tsis lig rau koj mog

vuag sister, you married in 1999 and still willing to stay in a polygamy lifestyle. you should understand that a man who love you would not want to share his love with any other woman. if he's willing, means he love many women. why you stoop so low to meet his sexual desire and lifestyle? why not say, "I am important. I deserve a man who will give me all of him"

Zoo kawg uas koj siab tawv ib tug txiv dev zoo li no mas Cia nws mus not quav xwb zoo tshaj.

Vim txiv tas rau koj lawm ne....viv ncaus koj yog neeg tsis muaj siab ntsws ntshawd2 tus txiv uab txiv dev ko ne

Muaj li thiab

Nyuaj siab tshaj txhob yuav yog muaj CES txhob yuav xwb

Tej laus tias, ib nti xub tua tshab ob tug noog. Nyob li dev nyob. Pw li npua pw. Zoo siab/chim siab los ntsw!

Wow u just grew up.amazing

Yeah people as parents when your child need help you take them back and help them.

Can the author of this story share a picture of this Hmong man? I like to know how handsome he is that these two ladies stay in the miseries he created for them. And the innocent children that came into their lives with the "Niam Loj/Niam Yau mindset" where will continue to ruin others' lives in Hmong society!

Txiv neej tag lawm los me viv ncaus aw. Cas yuav nyob lub neej ko ntev ua luaj..

Txhua2 yim neej uas muaj niam hlob niam yau yog tim tus niam loj qhib lub qhov rooj rau tus txiv thiab tus niam loj ntawv lub siab zoo dhau los yog ruam dhau lawm

Cov ua niam hlob niam yau ces yeej yog yeem ua thiaj ua, cov tsis yeem ua ces yeej hais tu nrho thaum xub thawj lawm, 1 xwb tsis muaj 2

Young and naive, you’ve made a bad choice of staying in this relationship . Glad you woke up to reality. Love and respect yourself.

The husband is a legend.. Cuz He can trained two stray dogs fighting for one bone..

Ewl!! Cov pog no qias neeg tiag tiag. Thaub yav loj ntev npaum cas es cov pog no los nyob sib huas na

Yus yg niam tsev lm ce tsuas tu tau li kj no xb yeej zoo nkj lm os niam laus me kv nyiam kj style no xb yg muab tu dhau lm ce nw g yg ib qho zoo 6 yus pes tsawg os

Thaum i yog koj niam koj txiv tsis pub koj yuav mas ntshe koj xum tuag naw.luag qhia tsis npaum yus qhia yus.

Tu siab kawg li os...

Ntuj aw, twb tuaj nyob teb chaws vam meej ua luaj es tseem keev ib tug rws txob xwb. Ruam tiag 2 li os poj hmoob aw.

Lub meej niam hlob niam yau ces yeej nyuaj os tim ob leeg tsi sib hlub xwb thiab sib khib tus txiv li os ces kawg koj tus txiv saib leej twg khov thiab ua tau dua ces nws kawg xaiv ib tus xwb mo qhov tus txiv tsi xaiv koj los koj heev dhua lawm xwb

You must hate yourself a lot to be in a niam hlob niam yau marriage! A woman who loves herself will know her worth and NOT accept anything less than a faithful husband.

Txivneej tag lawm los ua cas yuav sib txeeb ib yav niag qos xwb nas. Xum yuav ib tug uas yus tsis tshua nyiam los tsuas yog nws thiab yus xwb es tsis muaj lwm tus . Neb ob leeg sib txeeb nws es nws thiaj li muaj muaj plhus los mas

Es koj tseem cia siab rau koj tus txiv es yog nws nrauj niam yau ces koj tseem rov mus yuav koj niag txiv los Es koj puas xeem los koj yuav uali qub os

Niam laus mob siab ua tuaj li o

Tus neeg twg rua muag tsuas los ua niam yau ces nws lub siab yog siab ntxwg nyoog tsis hlub txog leej twg, thiab cov niam yau lawv muaj 2 lub ntsej muag, lub ib yog ua zoo kom luag qhuas hos lub 2 ces tua neeg xwb os, txhob yuav tus neeg ntxeev siab rau yus ib zaug ntxiv nawb.

This is 21 century I don’t know why hmong people still not change?? Is there no man in this world or is he’s the only good man? If he’s a good man he would never married 2 women..poj niam ruam poj niam thiaj yog cov nyuaj siab dua. Kuv tsis ntseeg coj ntawv pem ntuj los ua tus 1 tus 2, yog neeg lub niag siab hlob, siab coob, tib neeg lub siab xaiv txoj kev ua neej tsis yog ntuj xaiv..

Kuv khuv xim tias cas kuv yuav kuv tus txiv rov qab los ua kev nyuaj siab zaum ob. Khiav mus caum poj nrauj tsis kawg tseem rov los. Kuv tseem yuav thiab. Ntuj es tsam no ntiab tsis tau tawm li lawm os.

txiv neej lub siab phem ,tim poj niam thiaj muaj niam loj niam yau

Moral of the story, don't let some other girl be a niam oh-yo.......

kub tsis yog tim txiv neej tag tG thiab os yeej yog tim cov poj niam thiab os yog Lawv xub yuav yus ua ntej tus tom qab mam los yog nws niam thiab txiv cov kwv tij lawv kkm yuav 2leeg yog tus los ua qab tsis kam tawm ces yus yog tus los ua ntej yus xum muab nws nrauj kiag xwb yog poj niam ua tau li no ces txiv neej nyoo xwb ma yog nws hlub yus tiag nws yeej xaiv ib tus nws yeej tsis tso rau niam txiv thiab cov kwv tij xaiv os nws yeej hlub koj 50% xwb nws thiaj li Yuav 2 3 tug os yog thaum pib tsis tau muaj menyuam muab nrauj kiag li xwb ua li no ntau ces txiv neej nyoo lawm os tos txiv neej pheej ua tag los ua dua vim poj niam ruam thiab siab muag lawv twb tsis hlub lawv lam hais lus zoo ntxias xwb twb zoo siab lawm ces lawv ham tsis ua txuj ua zoo xwb os

SMH the self disrespect started the day she decided to stay and marry this guy. This isn’t love. It’s so gross sharing a husband!!!

Niam yau😂hauv pliaj😂dav dua es phauj thaub thiaj xum nrog niam yau lawm os 😢

This is dog style relationship. We live in America and hmong ppl still practicing this kind of lifestyle

Its your fault, you walked in to the marriage knowing that he is a cheater yet stay.

The most lucky guy in the 🌎 👀

Young and naive, sad life! Never fight for love, you deserve better!

Its our og parents fault never support the daughters when we are at our hardest times. Always push us away to the darkness I'll never forget.

txiv neej Hmoob lub neej ib txwm ces yeej Xav Kom tau ntau xwb yeej tsis kam swb tsis kam txo hwj chim kiag li.qhov tseeb tiag ntawm ib tug txiv neej hmoob ces vim yog nws yeej tsis paub txog txoj kev sib hlub tseeb.qhov nws Xav tau ces ua kom txaus nws lub siab xwb txawm nws tus poj niam tsis nyiam tsis zoo siab los tsis tseem ceeb rau nws li.lub siab tus neeg Xav kom tau ntau tus kom nws siab nqeg xwb.kev hlub yeej tsis muaj tseeb vim nws tus kheej kiag los nws twb tsis paub txog tias hlub yog txhais tau li cas lawm.qhov zoo ces peb cov poj niam yuav tsum thaub qab xwb.txawm mus tau ib kauj ruam yuam kev lawm los rov thaub qab yeej tsis lig zoo dua nyob 3 leeg ua ke es sib txeeb nws yav tog qws luv luv es sib ceg lwj siab ntsuav.kev hlub tseeb yog "koj thiab kuv xwb".faib tsis tau rau leej twg.

Txog txij koj tus txiv dag koj mus coj niam yau mus vacation thiab mus lwm yam uas tsis yog li koj expection los twb vim yog koj txhav txiv heev dhau lawm xwb.

Why in this day in age in America some ladies still share husband? Sorry but no man is worth the pain and suffering. To the lady in this story. Why did you waste your life on someone like him? Pab koj khuv xim koj lub neej kawg tias koj nkim rau ib tus neeg siab coob.

Mloog koj tham mas zoo li uas niam yau lub nceb muaj kua dua koj lub es nws thiaj li xaiv niam yau ne

Tus txiv no mas muaj hmoo kawg tau ob lub me ncuav mos mos los tuav txhua txhua hmo lub twg los mos mos wow, zoo li ib txhia poj niam hmoob mas ua li txiv neej tag lawm es pheej txeeb ib tug niag txiv dev xwb os yom. tus viv ncaus qhov no koj tsis mua cai tu siab rau koj tus txiv vim tsis tim nws, tim koj xwb leej twg kom koj nyob ne.

Ntiajteb no txoj kev ruam ces sau tagnrho rau pojniam Hmoob lawm xwb.

What a lucky guy at such a young age

This story is a prime example of why young people or children should not be allowed to get married. And also why adult men are not allowed to date underage girls.

Vim txiv neej siab coob,siab pheev tshaj plawg li os muaj ob tus niam tsis yog ib txog kev vam meej li os

To first wife: I understand what you went through. I'm currently on recovery myself of 15 years. I'm freshly single for almost 5 months in my mid 30s. 😔

nyuam qhuav hau xb nw siab phem tshaj

Your a good and faithful woman. I feel sad life could’ve been better for you. But know this…, your ex chose the rt wife, the 2nd wife… lol she played him back, got him at the palm of her hands, and cheats on him just like he did to the both of you! He may have had it better at 1st, not anymore !

Thank you for sharing your story, sister. May your story help other women not to accept this 1st and 2nd wife thing in this time and age.

This man can wrapped women around his fingers. He is God!!!

Please do share pictures.....we are visual people 🙏 it will help us understand the situation much much better.

The reason guys have niam loj niam yau is the ladies faults because they are maum dev khauv nceb sib txeeb txiv dev yas niag qo.

Pab mob siab tshaj

Yus hmoob people ua xav muaj niam hlob niam yau, ya should of just stayed in plog teb. Why you come to meka? You stay in nplog teb, ya do what you want. Hmoob os hmoob aw thaum twg nej thiaj yuav hloov tau nej qhov yuav ob peb tug poj niam naw!

This woman has to be in her 40s only and still put up with this bs. He is not the only man in this world. These kinds of stories are just so annoying.

Txiv tag lawm lo cas. Ua cuag tsis muaj txiv neeg lawm. Txiv tseem coob coob os. Disgusting to share one guy. Pls change the next generation. Stop fighting over one guy.

TOS cov ua niam ua txiv ho hais li los yeej tsis txhaum vim koj twb tseg tsis taus ne es yog cov niam txivvmuab koj nrauj kiag los tsam koj niag txiv tuaj ntxias koj ces koj rov qab caum dua haj yam txaj muag txhua yam Nyob ntawm koj tus kheej xwb tiam tshiab no txhob Liam rau niam txiv nawb koj yeej muaj txoj hau kev nrog koj tsis ua xwb

Txoj kev hlub ces zoo li tus npau suav xwb yog nws yees loj zais siab ua tus kheej ces lub neej plam, tus yus ntshaw ces yus yeej tsis tau li

Yog lub neej khib xuaj tshaj plaws

Txiv neej mas yeej siab phem

You were always his back ups. Thats why he doesnt respect you in the beginning and the end. Glad you learned and found your happiness. I hate silly clown that think he can have two wives. If he can, i want a second husband too.

Txiv neej tuag tas cas neb 2 leeg poj niam yuav 1 leeg. Like you two got no one else to marry. Why people putting themselves in situations like this and playing the victim card?

Lady, you could’ve left the day your niam yau came to thawj your husband so you don’t have to go through this pain. Of course, the niam yau will get more love than the niam hlob.

"xav txog txoj kev hlubas tseem hlub hlub nws kawg", pojruam es twb tsis yog kev hlub los koj pheej qhua qhua tias yog kev hlub. cov neeg ruam li nej twb tsis muaj kev hlub los khav khav tias sib sib hlub.

Vim hmoob yog cov ruam tshaj ruam lawm thiaj yuav 2 3 tug xwb mas

Txiv neeg Tuag tag lawm Los cas ...yuav ua ib lub niag neej lwj siab quav dev ua luaj ...koj tsis hlub koj tus kheej li Los cas poj hmoob ...tos cov niag txiv quav dev ntawd tsuj tau peb cov poj niam tadms li xwb Los vim poj niam pheej zam rau nws ua phem thiab tsuj yus tas li ...nws thiaj li muaj plhus ua luaj li ...txhob cia cov niag ntsej muag txiv tshob cuab quas neeg no tsuj yus ntxiv lawm nawb ...

This yog peb ruam os cov niam tsev Paul tias muaj ntau tus niam tsev kuj ua tau lawm tab tseem tshuav kawg thiab txog lawv yus kuj has yam yooj yim hais tab sis neeg yug Los this zoo is yam

Girl....you weren't blind at the time. It's your own fault. You had no kid holding you back. Even if there was a kid holding you back, you should of left. GONE, GO. GET!!

You should’ve left when your husband married his niam yau. He was unfaithful to you to begin with. Nrog koj mob thiab khib siab. Niag txiv dev no tsis ntev xwb nws yuav mob stroke lawm tsis txhob rov qab mus nrhiav kev mob siab rau koj tus kheej. Thaum nws kev tws lawm nws thiaj rov tuaj thuv koj. Yog nws tus niam yau hlub nws ces nws twb hnov qab koj tsis quav ntsej koj lawm mog. Tus txiv dev siab phem no tsis tsim nyog koj nco thiab hlub. Love yourself and know your worth. Move on with your life.

No matter what DO NOT Take him back!! He’s the loser, don’t let yourself be used by him anymore or be the loser in this life time. Good for you for finally letting him go! 👍👍

WOW. Lady you got trapped! He knew what he was doing all along. You took too long to love yourself.

Hmong woman just don't know when to let go and move on.

😢 it’s so sad

Kuv mas ntxub ntxub cov nyiag Poj niam zoo lis nos os ! Thaum nyuam qrhuav los xwb es tsis tau muaj me nyuam es UA cas hov tsis thim rov qab ! Ob nyiag maum dev sij txeeb PoB txha xwb tiag. Yob tag lawm los cas os. Kuv tsis qrhua koj lis thiab os.

I was once wearing your shoe. Glad it's over for me. It's too toxic sis.

No man can serve 2 master. At the end he will serve one and despise the other.

The woman should have never divorced, instead marry a txiv yau! 😂

Omg modern day polygamy! U should know better not to allow this to happen to you. For some reason I don’t pity you. Come on lady…. We live in America! There are many men out there.

Txhob rov qab mus yuav niag txiv dev siab phem ntaw li lawm Viv ncaws aw. Kav tsij mus pib dua lib nerj tshiab es niag txiv dev ntawv thiaj li tsis bother koj laem os nws tsuas rovqab los ntawm koj thaum nws tau kev lwj siab xwb yog thaum twg nws rov muaj kev zoo siab dua ces nws yuav rov xaiv nws tus niam yai ka xwb os txhib ruam2 tbiab tig rov los lub yus tus kheej os nawb.

Poj niam/txiv neej Hmoob ruam aw.... Leej twg qhia rau nej tias txoj kev ua neej muaj niam hlob niam yau vam meej. Yawg Hlob Vaj Pov muaj 8-9 tug poj niam, muaj 18-19 tug tub, nws puas vam meej. Yog vam meej ces kev muaj niam hlob/niam yau tsov rog tseem loj tshaj tsug rog ntiaj teb zaum 2 naw...