I woke up today and knew the vibes were up

The “proud to be white washed” really hit me

Rachel I’ve been following your channel for over 5 years now and this video genuinely made me cry at work. I also grew up in Orange County with the backdrop of very wealthy white families all around me. I’m Hispanic and immigrated from South America as a child with a single mother. We were not like the rest of the families in my neighborhood and I too let the kids ridicule my heritage, language, culture, and socioeconomic circumstance to just fit in with them. My heart breaks from these memories. Thank you for being so open ♥️

I'm 3rd gen Asian American and I was proud to be white washed at some point too. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable

I also grew up in South Orange County and the moment I was old enough I fled to find acceptance. As a Black mixed woman, I got called a n*gger by people I called my friends, I was constantly the butt of prison jokes, and had my skin color commented on frequently. Teachers treated me differently as I was the only black kid in my honors courses. There was a time where I also wanted to be white so I could have the peace that the white kids had. Thank you for sharing. It both makes me sad and feel less alone to know your story.

love The Artist's way!

had me at “questioning the reality of our lives”

Growing up as 1st gen Pakistani-American in Southern California then attending an east-coast private college, I definitely experienced a sense of white-washing myself at a very young and impressionable age. Unpacking a lot of that in my adulthood, too. You are worthy of taking up space, as you are. No white-washing required. Learning to practice the same.

I cried so much when you read your experience from high school because I can relate to it so much :(

This reminded me of a quote often used “Ni de aqui, ni de alla” which translates to “I am neither from here, nor there” I believe it is a movie title but the quote was applied and used a lot by people (often immigrants) that felt like they never fit in with white people. But they also never fit in with the people they shared heritage or culture with. I also felt this in grade school and high school. I never fit in with my peers because they were too white and i never fit in with other Mexican kids bc my Spanish was not the best and I adapted to certain parts of American culture. I had to live in Mexico for a year after living in California my whole life and i remember getting bullied by kids for being too “white washed”. I could never identify, i didn’t know who i was or who I had became. And i still struggle with that to this day. Thank you for sharing Rachel. I have always loved your content but now it’s getting raw and genuine and I fully Stan.

I am simply in awe of your rawness and your gentle yet strong presence here. You are a blessing to us and for me Rach. Thank you for sharing and thank you for continuing your journey on YT. Love from Seoul SK💛

I really relate to what you said in the vlog. As an Asian teen girl living in a white world it has been a struggle to navigate life trying to dodge racism and prejudice. The part of your parents’ accent hit me hard too. When I was younger it always seemed easier to laugh at the jokes targeting my parents rather than defending them. Thankyou for your honesty Rachel ❤️

I started crying when you cried because it hit so close to home. I grew up trying so hard to fit in with white people and I felt so much shame about being Korean. I definitely tried to separate myself from my parents when I was younger and so many times I wished I was just white. Confronting our feelings about identity and race is hard, but everything that's been happening recently has just made me prouder to be asian american. Thank you for sharing, Rachel!!

14 DAYS OF RANCH - I CANT BELIEVE IT

I was doing the dishes and fighting my tears. You seriously articulated the guilt, frustration and pain that comes with growing up as a BIPOC Thank you for sharing❤️

Thank you for sharing this thoughtful piece , Rachel. As an Asian American Woman who went through similar struggles, I stand with you; I feel this to my core. I hid who I was, I hid discomfort and hurt to accommodate my 'friends' and social circle up, even until my 2nd year of college. I wish I could go back and stand up for myself and own who I was. I hope that your words inspire other girls to stand up for themselves and own their Asian roots.

Rachel, those morning pages explained exactly what I’ve been feeling the past few days. Feelings I didn’t think I could even put a label on. You are so eloquent and I’m so touched by your words, as an Asian American myself - sending you love and healing!

so grateful for the space you've created and the conversations you're facilitating

ah!!! she updated with a vlog!! and with 13 more vlogs to be updated im so exciteddd

i am SO excited for these 14 days. you always take people on the journey with you and i'm absolutely here for it

Been waiting for this!!! I love you so much 🥺

Rachel, thank you for this. It was an emotional experience hearing you put thoughts into words that I didn't understand how to vocalize. Your honesty and vulnerability are so refreshing and I'm so excited for the next 13 days

Your content (especially vulnerable/emotional pieces like this) always makes me feel connected to something deeply human. It feels like such an honor to be on the other side of it. Looking forward to more

All I need for the beginning of spring is Rachels videos!

omg!!! I AM LIVING FOR THIS! FINALLY SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO EVERYDAY!

I love how honest you are and I’m loving the start of this new clogging series.

girl this is exactly what i needed after going into lockdown no3... lets enjoy the fresh and joyous energy of the Spring in front of us

Looooved this and your morning pages especially, thank you Rachel!

ugh your vulnerability and love knows no bounds

Love seeing all this content you’re posting recently 💚💚💚💚💚

"Never had the tools or language..." i felt this. Sending you love 💫

as an international student and not Asian American, it has been so difficult for me to comprehend where my character fits into everything that is going on. thank you so much for being vulnerable and share your feelings

I relate to your high school experience so much Rachel.. I’m so sorry we had this collective experience

thank you for being so vulnerable Rachel!! and so happy to see you vlogging again

Currently bawling my eyes out. Thank you so much for this Rachel. Thank you.

So glad to have you back and in such a genuine form. ❤️ much love to you!

Thank you for sharing your morning thoughts with us. I can definitely relate to everything you wrote

14 days of that's chic!!! YAAY

Thank you for sharing yourself with us. It is a privilege to get a small snapshot of your heart and mind.

yay for 14 days of uploads!!! so excited for this!... this actually made my day! sending good vibes your way!

im so so SO HAPPY uploading more! Your videos honestly make me feel so calm and productive

i’ve felt that way too. you’re not alone rachel, thank you for sharing ❤️

Seeing someone being this vulnerable is so beautiful, you made me cry Rachel :) Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Looking forward the next 13 days !

GOD BLESS 14 DAYS OF THATS CHIC OMG DAILY VLOGS AGAIN I LOVE YOU YOU NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME ROMANTICISE MY LIFE AND ALL THE LITTLE THINGS I DO

This made me so emotional. I felt you girl. I feel like by putting yourself back into those memories you forced yourself to relive that and it s hard, and by rationalising mindfully what was happening you will process those feelings, learn from them and let them go. And you come out stronger than ever, and you ll be an inspiration to many others that can relate 🖤🖤

Thank you so much for sharing- it still hits me how so many of us have felt some version of this story and it is so comforting to have these thoughts shared with vulnerability 🦋💕

Really appreciate this vlog! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on current events that affect so many of us and for always being you. I look forward to the rest of this series!

Love you lots! I admire your bravery to be so vulnerable online (in general) and it really inspires me to question some of my own walls I’ve been building! 🤍 excited for the vlogs!

Omg hell yeahh ive been binging your vids so this is great timing!! Love your videos Rachel!

for the past couple of weeks i’ve just felt heavy-hearted, selfish, and hopeless. i’ve logged-off after reading everything about the shooting and since then i can barely stand to scroll enough to stay informed. i haven’t figured out yet how to process everything but seeing you be willing to unpack with us is encouraging and i’m looking forward to journey we’re about to take these next two weeks 💚🌼

love you so much raych!! i got choked up watching this. thank you for sharing so vulnerably and honestly. really excited you're sharing your days with us again. i'm a big fan of the artist's way, morning pages can be so healing

raych

Yesssss 😭😭😭 best day ever. I’ve missed your presence and vlogs so much on here!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

thank you for the wonderful vlog, and your vulnerability. please take it easy and don't burn out this time with the vlogs! love you

Thankuu sooo much Rachel. I was so happy to wakeup to your video! And knowing that you are doing a 14days blog is just such a blissing! Thankuuu for sharing your vulnerabilities to talk upon the issue of racism that’s been rising these days! I hope the world and yourself is kind to you every day! See u here tmr~ 💓

thank you so much for your radical honesty. You are helping others find the voice they never knew they had.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts Rachel ❤️ I am really exited to see your another 13 days of vlogs! Have a good day!

these make me so happy

I feel save that you are with us, I like hearing your morning thoughts, that was a nice touch ♡ enjoy your 14 days, I hope it will be a warm experience🌾

Eternally grateful for the space you provide for people to feel raw and at home with themselves among others. I love you.

thank you for being vulnerable and thank you for being you!

Thank you so much for always be so vulnerable, genuine, and open with us🙏💗✨ I’ve been watching you & chrissstttiiine for years & I practically grew up watching your videos because I didn’t see a lot of Asian representation in my life so I got so excited each time I saw a new upload from you 🦋💕 if you wrote a book I’d buy that soooo quick !!!

Unpacking a lot of similar things, I don’t have the words to express how comforting it is to listen to you share. You are not alone!!! Sending so much love and support. Very excited for the next 2 weeks.

You didn’t make an evil calculated decision to blend in. That’s what teens do, we wanted to fit in. Thanks for sharing and also for the previous vegetarian cooking tips and eco-friendly advice. Every little bit helps.

thank u for blessing us with this, rachel

cant believe that I can see you at least next 13 videos. Cant wait and so sorry for what you've been through. But you're the most beautiful soul. Be brave

love you so much rachel

Rachel, this is so special. Thank you for sharing.

love you rach. thanks for sharing and being vulnerable. made me feel a little more brave today, and reflect on myself.

RACHEL THANK GOD YOU ARE BACK!!!

Gosh this was deep ❤️ and helpful ! Thanks for putting this out there !

Thank you for sharing your world with us. Please don't feel any pressure , we love and appreciate you so much. x

Ahh Rachel, big love! It’s takes a lot of self reflection, communal appreciation and a desire for a better world and I saw this in this post! Excited to see the next 2 weeks with you :)

love you Rachel, thank you for being vulnerable with us 🤍

Omg!!! So nice to have 14 days of that's chic! Thank you! Also, love Move With Nicole!! I'm doing her March work out calendar! :)

Thank you for sharing your journal entry, I can totally relate. Sending you lots of love! Can't wait for the rest of the vlogs.

I’m a second generation Asian American, and I completely resonate with your high school unpack. I am here with you, I see you, and I appreciate you using your platform as a genuine outlet, Rachel. Be safe

In so happy you shared your younger experience. I really relate to what you wrote so much. Please continue to say how you feel. Lots of love!❤️

Thank you for being so brave and vulnerable! I think we all are desperate for ppl to stop pretending. Your channel has been v transparent and I appreciate ur fearlessness to share ur feelings. Makes everyone feel less alone. Especially now, when we can’t talk to a lot of ppl face to face.

I’ve literally been watching your videos from the very beginning and im so happy you’ve decided to upload again 🥲

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, your perspective, your vulnerability. Everything is hard and uncertain right now so I'm glad you are sharing your views with others. For some, you're helping them feel not alone with their thoughts. For me, it's helping me learn from a perspective that I will never see in hopes that I can become a better person iñ the space I take up. You're feelings and your efforts are valid and worthwhile. Thank you for sharing them with us.

HERE FOR IT!!!

hey rachel, thank you for sharing! it's not easy to be vulnerable, and i appreciate you uplifting intent vs. impact. like of course everyone usually has good intent, but if others are receiving what you say/do as harmful/oppressive, then that's just what it is and you have to accept responsibility. excited to be here and listen/learn with you these next 14 days!

Love you Raych, thank you for sharing your beautiful vulnerable energy.

Thank you for sharing your morning pages and being so vunerable, your words are so poetic

I love love loved your words from your journal entry. They are so powerful! ❤️❤️

Rachel, your strength lies in your vulnerability, and although I know it is not easy / comfortable, I appreciate you for sharing your strength with us. Definitely related to a lot of your morning thoughts, as a first generation Asian American myself growing up in a predominantly white So-Cal setting. What a privilege it is to grow. Your words are healing!!! Thank you. Sending you virtual hugs! 🙏🏽

Rachel, thank you so much for your vulnerability. I appreciate everything you said so much and pray that you continue to find peace as you sift and sort through what you’ve experienced in your life. Thank you for being you.💛

I've never commented on a KZfaq video before but hearing you share your morning pages compelled me to respond. Thank you for being open, vulnerable, honest, and for expressing exactly how I've felt for as long as I can remember. It hurts to think back on my teenage years when I tried so hard to show how whitewashed I was, and it shames me to think about how my actions/words (or lack of) have contributed to the bigger problem. Now, I am so happy to be who I am, to look how I look, to eat what I eat, etc. I want to thank you for sharing your experience - it brings me comfort knowing someone else has gone through something similar. Sending you so much love ❤️

omg finally another vlog season!!!!!!! love it love it and love it!!! will be sitting in front of the laptop and waiting for you to upload your daily vlog! I'm so excited

so much love for you Rachel! thank you for sharing!

Thank you for your thoughts, this resonated with me. I these are not easy topics but I’m glad you’re bringing them up. It’s made me reflect too now. Xoxo

Your brain dump really resonated with me and I feel less alone. I’ve been having similar thoughts and I’m sending u all the love and vibes

always so nice to see ur updating

I’m soo happy to see you vlogging again girl❤️😌 get so excited when I see you on my for you page

I had a long day of studying and now i feel like im facetiming with my older sister thank you

Shiz. I just saw this now and cried. I’m so so so so grateful to you for speaking on your experience. Growing up in northern San Diego, I felt so much the same thing. It’s full circle now to see you returning “home”, visiting your grandparents. This is something in me I want to reclaim too. Thank you for making the hard convos, easier. 💕

Excited for 14 days of vlogs!

This upload feels like a hug

We love you Rachel!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, in any form togetherness or not