Understanding the defense of introjection

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Understanding the defense of introjection

Рет қаралды 11,960

3 жыл бұрын

We talk a lot about projection in our field, but not nearly enough about it's corollary - introjection. Introjection is a defensive process in which the child internalizes the feelings, beliefs and attitudes that the parent projects onto and into the child. In so doing, the child preserves the illusion that the parent is "good" and s/he is the bad one. These introjected feelings and attitudes often have lasting, albeit, unconscious influence on the patient's sense of self. Helping the patient face the reality of what happened and their true feelings about it so they can get clear about who is who and what is what, is an essential therapeutic goal.

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@AmethystWoman Жыл бұрын

"It's hard to fight enemies who have outposts in your head."

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 11 ай бұрын

Also easiest as we are the only one we can change.

@oswurth8774 3 ай бұрын

Because youre not supposed to fight them. They have valuable information. Observe what they say/do (metaphorically)

@leoy8820 3 жыл бұрын

Getting Parents ( the culture assumptions ) out of ourselves is never an easy thing, but it's something has to be done. Thank you Dr. Coughlin.

@anonymousprivate6814 Ай бұрын

Thank you for posting this. I am late diagnosed autistic and have CPTSD . I suspect I may also have a dissociative disorder but am also aware of overlap with mental health conditions/ASD. More memories have been coming back over the last few years and I am almost 50. I am beginning to own my shame, rage and confusion due to being raised by traumatized, possibly ASD inconsistent parents. I was aware 10 years ago that the shame seemed to be coming from what I internalized as a child.

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 Ай бұрын

I would urge you to avoid diagnostic labels, which have a very negative effect. You are a human being with struggles and talents, just like the rest of us! Hope you are getting the help you need to heal.

@anonymousprivate6814 Ай бұрын

@@patriciacoughlinphd1852 Thanks for your reply Patricia. I am awaiting therapy.

@naturallaw52 Жыл бұрын

This is so generous and so just perfect

@Anne..... 2 жыл бұрын

I have experienced what I think must have been projection from others and then my introjection. I remember vaguely from my teens that my mother took over for me in some situations as if I was unable to do something myself (projected her own denied feelings of weakness onto me). Then later I had the most baffling and incomprehensible experience over many years that my sister without saying it with words treated me as if I was "less than" her and as if I was mentally ill, because she knew I suffered from anxiety. She did this also in my "formative years" as a teenager and it affected my sense of self-esteem, but many years later I started to question the way she treated me and I was shocked to little by little realize that the way she saw me and treated me was so far removed from who I really was and from the ressources I actually had. Then I experienced that my partner and later husband couldn't tolerate his own weakness and constantly projected it onto me and hated me and blamed me for being weak. Only lately have I been able to see all this more clearly. The projections from these three persons were somehow subtle and unspoken and very difficult to become aware of. I simply did not understand what was going on, I just had a terrible feeling of being worthless when I had been together with them, and I had a feeling that they somehow could not see me for who I was. Now I understand that it was not, because they could not see me, but because they needed to project their unwanted feelings onto me to get rid of them.

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 2 жыл бұрын

And, even more importantly for you to understand, you were open to absorbing these projections. Holding onto yourself and being self rather than other validated, should help enormously.

@Anne..... 2 жыл бұрын

@@patriciacoughlinphd1852 Thank you for your answer. I have this vague feeling that perhaps my mother needed me to be dependent on her when I was a child. That she needed to feel competent (in order to escape feelings of inadequacy installed by her parents in her) and was able to feel this competency in her role as mother, and also that she therefore unconsciously obstructed my normal needs to develop independence and competence myself. If this was the case, then perhaps it explains why I was open to absorb projections later on in my life? But I wasn't fully open to absorbing them, because some sense of my own worth and ressources remained and this in the end made me question the projections. Thank you for the video. It is a very interesting and important subject and I would really like to get to the bottom of it and gain a complete picture of what precisely took place in these relationships with my mother, sister and husband.

@natatattful 4 ай бұрын

@@patriciacoughlinphd1852are you saying that as a child, she failed to hold on to herself? Wow. That’s a lot to put on a small child. Sounds like victim blaming.

@rohan9845 Ай бұрын

Amazing video

@sarasundgren9011 5 ай бұрын

True. Im not my past .. Spent half my life in therapy. Now pray to God and journal feelings and try to reconcile conflicts by pray and process w a therapist - exercise is very good deal w lot of life - try to not be obsessed but let go . selfawareness and selfacceptance ❤Peace

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 5 ай бұрын

Best to you.

@barrylyndongurley 10 ай бұрын

I grew up under a hale of physical/emotional violence. It started when I was about 3 yrs of age, and continued until age 16, when my family finally escaped my raging, abusive Father. Now at 68 years of age, I still struggle every day with the ongoing effects of this abusive, "down-bringing." Thanks Dr Coughlin, for providing insight into this relatively unknown phenomenon. "Introjection" is the grim, "gift that keeps on giving:" in perpetuity.

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 10 ай бұрын

I hope, at this point in your life, you can oust the introject and be yourself. It's never too late!

@barrylyndongurley 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for your kind wishes Patricia, I intend to do just that.@@patriciacoughlinphd1852

@barrylyndongurley 9 ай бұрын

@@patriciacoughlinphd1852 Thank you Dr Coughlin for your kind reply.

@cherylm5002 5 ай бұрын

You explained it really well, thanks🙏

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 5 ай бұрын

Glad this was helpful.

@animalliberationCLBB 3 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤ much ❤ from Germany So horrible what people do to children and other people omg😢 heartbreaking.

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 3 ай бұрын

It's not quite as simple as one person doing this to another. Introjection is a defensive process in which one person takes another in, in order to avoid all of their intense mixed feelings toward them. This is the good news, because there is something we can do about that. By helping patients face feelings rather than avoiding them!

@animalliberationCLBB 3 ай бұрын

@@patriciacoughlinphd1852 Mhm ok, then I did not get it jet. I have this with Anger, Shame and and and.. after decades everything fell apart, I got diagnosed with bipolar. A Psychologist said most of it is because of your childhood and Self hate. He did EMDR with me I felt extremely sad my Mom had Depression when I was a child, he said you tried to take it from her but that did not work, but you didn't know that as a child. So I had it. Is this an example of introjection? He asked and then you were angry? No. Not in that Moment, years and years later, I wasn't allowed to feel and express Anger as a child.Thing with the feelings is, now it's like Iam just FEELINGS every feeling is strong and very intense. Because I took them, didn't deal with it stuffed it down and then boom Chaos. Now I can't handle my Anger it's so strong.

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 3 ай бұрын

@@animalliberationCLBB Perhaps getting a consultation with an ISTDP therapist who will be very skilled at helping you access and experience anger, as well as integrating anger with guilt, grief and love. Go onto istdpinstitute.com to find a therapist in your state.

@RubinISR 2 жыл бұрын

Brilliant. Thank you so much. Helped me understand exactly what introjection is, understanding it was (or still is) my main coping mechanism growing up. It feels so good to be aware of it, and so be able to act differently.

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 2 жыл бұрын

So glad it's been helpful to you!

@sarasundgren9011 5 ай бұрын

Sad but true. I was just by accident listening to this - after google term introjection. I feel this intrusive behaviours of parents created lots of unsafety and aversion toward parents. I broken up w my family after long time suffering and therapy not really serve me as I tried to have relationship w especially mum. I felt intense everything of mum must be out of my system. Everything. She tried manipulate w God. Corrupt all meaning of freedom, honesty , emotional truth and love. As I wrote a letter tell her not want be reminded of any past , that its enough , I felt I let her go. I dont want her money full of guilt , said she cant pay of her debt. I forgive for my own sake. Its crazy how much suffering from unconscious trauma and lies and parents problems ,like introjection, can steal, kill and rob joy in adult peoples life.

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 5 ай бұрын

The good news is, you are not your past and you can resolve these conflicts with good therapy. Hope you can get some peace.

@alvideor 3 ай бұрын

Thank you, this is very helpful. Introjection isn't often discussed as a defense mechanism and tends to be confused with identification. Dr. Coughlin, do you discuss the connection between introjection and disgust anywhere or know of any references? It seems that attuning to one's own disgust (the desire to vomit out what is repulsive) Is a key step in reversing the introjects from our parents (what we have swallowed from them).

@sarahfara1539 Жыл бұрын

This was so interesting! Related to it a lot. I want them out, too 😫 Just discovered your channel, will definitely watch more 👏

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!!

@rikkehvelplund4591 3 жыл бұрын

Very helpfull. Projection/introjection - processes on each end of the interpersonal exchange of ideas and emotions.

@lildavey09 3 жыл бұрын

This has me think about children who introject entire repressive systems of thought, often religious or spiritual, of their parents. I think this is what I’m seeing in older adolescents or young adults, who without any critical thinking or reflection, parrot their parent’s repressive/reductionistic ways (defensive systems) of viewing the world. To question the system of thought would stir up underlying mixed feelings with a caregiver and feels “threatening” to their sense of pseudo autonomy or identity (within that belief system).

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 3 жыл бұрын

Introjection is the internalization of someone else's projection. In your example, the children are identifying with parents and adopting the views they consciously hold. This is a significant difference and would be treated differently therapeutically.

@lildavey09 3 жыл бұрын

@@patriciacoughlinphd1852 I see, thanks for the clarification. In my mind I was thinking of extremist/cultist religious and spiritual views; like a child who’s told they go to hell if they masturbate (that they’re a “sinner”), or a gay adolescent who’s told they’re unacceptable in God’s eyes, or a child of a Christian scientist who’s told germs aren’t real, or *bad feelings* aren’t real; are these examples of identification, or is it that the parent is projecting a lie on to the child, which they swallow and introject to hold the attachment?

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 3 жыл бұрын

@@lildavey09 This is an example of identification with the aggressor. Again, you are talking about conscious views held by parents that are incorporated by the child. The case of introjection, feelings, beliefs and attitudes that are DENIED BY THE PARENT and projected into the child, who introjects them. As a result the child/patient believes this feeling or belief belongs to them and NOT to their parents. Do you see the difference? In the former the alliance is maintained by saying, "I am the same as my parent". In the case I am describing, the child denies the hostility in parent and accepts it as his own.

@lildavey09 3 жыл бұрын

@@patriciacoughlinphd1852 I think I see it now! The difference is the projection on to the child is unconsciously held material by the parent, which the child uncsly introjects (believing it is about themselves) vs. a parent’s consciously held belief (delusional or otherwise) which the child identifies with and then may relate to themselves as the aggressor (“I am an unacceptable sinner”), is that right?

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 3 жыл бұрын

@@lildavey09 You got it!

@Manicpixiedreamer Жыл бұрын

wow. perfectly described thank you.

@anni730 2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely brilliant. Such helpful examples. Thank you.

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 2 жыл бұрын

So glad you find it helpful.

@Elaphe472 Жыл бұрын

Hit in the nail... Very useful.

@anattaokonkwo 2 жыл бұрын

This is SO DEEP, oh my goodness!

@hanae9431 2 жыл бұрын

Very insightful thank you

@annagallagher2498 Ай бұрын

There’s positive introjects .

@peace2743 Жыл бұрын

Brilliant

@rohan9845 Ай бұрын

Ma'am what would be the difference between introjection and projective identification?

@goldensprite3373 3 жыл бұрын

Similar sexual things happened to me from a parent. Thanks for posting. I am having successful psychodynamic therapy x

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 3 жыл бұрын

So glad you are getting good help.

@miss-winner 14 күн бұрын

Spot on. Thank you. Can you please tell the name of your first book?

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 14 күн бұрын

Intensive Short term Dynamic Psychotherapy: Theory and technique. All four of my books are available on Amazon.

@zizel96 Жыл бұрын

Very helpful, thank you so much!

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 Жыл бұрын

My pleasure.

@babyobyd 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@bellofigoitaliano5038 2 жыл бұрын

How do I stop interacting with the internal object of my BPD ex, I feel once I get rid of the introjection that is her I can finally Forget about her , the last part of my healing.

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 2 жыл бұрын

Since I don't know you I can't offer any useful advice. It's best to see a professional in your area so you can resolve your feelings toward your ex instead. of carrying her around with you.

@AmethystWoman Жыл бұрын

It seems introjects dont only happen with DID? If this is a different kind of introject, could you do a video about interject with DID? I've known I had DID for a long time but was recently officially diagnosed. I'm just discovering I think I might have an interject of my school bully? Is this different?

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 Жыл бұрын

It's not possible to answer this question without seeing you and doing my own evaluation. Best to you.

@toslso 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for this, I am somewhat confused though. You state that children don’t have the capacity for a separate mind and introject the projections of their parents. But that sounds like introjection is a consequence of a lack of capacity rather than serving a defensive function? Or does introjection really have a defensive function and is it also found in adults? Thanks

@patriciacoughlinphd1852 3 жыл бұрын

It is a defense against a painful and terrifying reality - that the parent is not a safe. Children will spare the adult and take on the unbearable affects the parent projects. In this sense, it is a defense both in childhood, and when maintained in adulthood.