No video

Unseen Manipulation: Jessica's Story of Covert Abuse

  Рет қаралды 4,025

Leslie Vernick

Leslie Vernick

Күн бұрын

Resources:
Is Your Marriage Destructive? Find out. Get Leslie's Quick Start Guide here! www.leslievernick.com/start
In this episode, we delve into the often overlooked dynamics of covert abuse within marriages, shedding light on its subtle yet profound impacts. Our guest, Jessica, shares her insights into these hidden behaviors based on her personal journey and observations.
Defining Covert Abuse:
Covert abuse refers to subtle, deceptive behaviors aimed at controlling or manipulating a partner without overt aggression.
Jessica describes how these behaviors include gaslighting, passive-aggressive tactics, and manipulation through silence or withdrawal.
Impact on Emotional Well-being:
The discussion explores the emotional toll of covert abuse, highlighting feelings of confusion, self-doubt, and isolation.
Jessica shares her experience of feeling constantly invalidated and struggling with the blurred lines between love and control.
Financial and Decision-Making Control:
Financial abuse, where one partner controls finances to limit independence or enforce compliance, is explored.
The impact on decision-making within the household and personal autonomy is discussed, emphasizing the need for financial transparency and equality.
Parenting Challenges:
Covertly abusive behaviors can extend into parenting dynamics, affecting roles, responsibilities, and the emotional environment for children.
Jessica shares insights into navigating parenting while dealing with a partner's controlling behaviors and its effect on family dynamics.
Seeking Support and Healing:
Importance of Community and Therapy:
Jessica emphasizes the role of supportive communities and therapy in recognizing and healing from covert abuse.
Finding validation and solidarity with others who understand similar experiences is crucial for emotional recovery.
Personal Growth and Empowerment:
The journey towards healing involves reclaiming personal agency and establishing boundaries.
Jessica discusses steps she took to prioritize her well-being and regain a sense of self outside the abusive dynamics.
Raising Awareness and Taking Action:
The episode concludes with a call to raise awareness about covert abuse, encouraging listeners to recognize the signs and seek help.
Jessica shares resources and strategies for anyone experiencing or suspecting covert abuse in their relationships.

Пікірлер: 32
@janberger4057
@janberger4057 Ай бұрын
This is almost exactly my story. My ex-husband was not only sneaking off to casinos at every opportunity, but was also day trading in the stock market, which was the most finacially devastating form of his addiction. When we were first married, he lost $100,000. and he secretly borrowed the same amount from his mother to hide the loss from me. She blurted it out on a phone call several months later. I thought he had learned his lesson, but I was wrong. Then, when our twins were 3 years old, he lost $250,000 in the stock market. He was NOT able to hide that loss, and I was beyond horrified. We went to emergency marriage counseling, and the male counselor sided with him and said, "Everyone plays the stock market." Imagine being gaslight by both my husband AND the marriage counselor. Now that we are divorced and our children are adults, he has been able to gaslight them as well. They say their father doesn't have a gambling problem. My response to our children is: "If it looks like a duck, feels like a duck, waddles like a duck, quacks like a duck, it is probably a DUCK."
@leslievernick
@leslievernick Ай бұрын
I am so sorry! Grateful you were able to see the truth and leave.
@kaylees1072
@kaylees1072 Ай бұрын
My story is almost the exact same as hers. God did prepare a new home for me during the waiting period before the divorce.
@JenniferG-jm4rh
@JenniferG-jm4rh Ай бұрын
Mine is about to be finalized. So many emotions... I am waiting on a place of my own.
@jane77722
@jane77722 Ай бұрын
So very well articulated! This is paraphrasing a bit , but I loved Jessica's summation and I echo it: Walk with the Lord and in His truth and love, accepting His love and grace for my life. Do this and I am inside His will. He will protect me, He will provide a way. He will make my path straight. Just trust Him. Live in the reality of what is, not what I wanted. So, how do I trust God in this? Remind myself of how He has already provided. Amen.
@cynthiafedrigon179
@cynthiafedrigon179 Ай бұрын
Oh my!! Thank you for sharing! Exchange addictions and this was my story. Heartbreaking and so difficult to explain what’s happening… even to yourself.
@donnaminchin8039
@donnaminchin8039 Ай бұрын
Thankyou Jessica for sharing your journey. I identified with SO much of your story. I appreciated your honesty and transparency and encouragement. May God bless you as you grow stronger and follow His journey for your life❤
@SusanWright-zp7ue
@SusanWright-zp7ue Ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing your story, Jessica. I appreciate your honesty and transparency about your own need for change. I’m glad you found a healthier life. My story is very similar.
@GODisAble2014
@GODisAble2014 Ай бұрын
I would love to hear her back on a new episode to talk about her co parenting (probably parallel parenting) experience. Obviously, if she is comfortable with that.
@leslievernick
@leslievernick Ай бұрын
We will look into doing a co-parenting episode. Thank you for the suggestion.
@SurvivorC
@SurvivorC Ай бұрын
I so relate to this. He would disappear for hours to the grocery store. So many similarities.
@30daychallenge33
@30daychallenge33 Ай бұрын
There are so many parallels between my story and Jessica's, even tho mine was a second marriage and step-parenting became a huge issue. Thank you for sharing your story. You are helping many people like myself to put this abuse into words.
@danip6648
@danip6648 Ай бұрын
Sadly I went through a very similar thing. My ex would be insulting in a passive agressive way as well. He changed right after the marriage. He lied about money and blamed me also. He played stocks and lost everything. He could not keep any job. He lied, lied, lied. He was a monster! Cruel and very abusive! I went through sheer hell and was exhausted for years after leaving him. I think he was more than a narcissist, more a malignant narcissist bordering on psychopath. He said he would destroy me and almost did. God bless you!
@leslievernick
@leslievernick Ай бұрын
I am so sorry you went through this!
@krystleanngray8164
@krystleanngray8164 Ай бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing all this Jessica ❤❤❤Details vary but I relate to SO much of your story & it brought me so much hope & encouragement from the Lord tonight after having a pretty emotionally tough day. Thanks again!!!
@maryanne2209
@maryanne2209 Ай бұрын
Thank you very much. I will be listening to this again. Blessings.
@iDelta77
@iDelta77 Ай бұрын
Exactly what happened to my sister!!
@jessicaj8148
@jessicaj8148 Ай бұрын
Wow so far this sounds like how my husband has been and still is. He just got T levels checked and the doctor says he’s not a candidate for BHRT. Which I thought could be the reasons for his grumpiness, coldness and distance.
@natashamoniquedesouza
@natashamoniquedesouza Ай бұрын
This was great Jessica! A beautiful testimony! ❤
@ChildoftheLIGHT
@ChildoftheLIGHT Ай бұрын
Definitely helpful, Jessica. Thank you🩶
@krystleanngray8164
@krystleanngray8164 Ай бұрын
I can relate to so much of your story Jessica - thank you for all of your vulnerability & transparency!
@renearosser1466
@renearosser1466 Ай бұрын
I don’t agree with her saying being hyper vigilant was bad. Or the reactions she had were bad. They were normal.
@susanmcmahon4733
@susanmcmahon4733 Ай бұрын
Have been through EXACTLY the same but in my case he was addicted to other women, God walked with me and helped and guided me through it and gave me a new home where I'm safe, God BLESS ANYONE WHO HAS EXPERIENCED THIS,it was ABSOLUTELY HOFFIC.
@margaretchaney5627
@margaretchaney5627 Ай бұрын
It is horrific if the addict is unteachable.
@user-ex8eo6xi2g
@user-ex8eo6xi2g Ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing Jessica! I am still struggling with the fact that after 34 years of marriage there is nothing that is left. He vanished into the sunset, the family destroyed and the horrible discard. However, God is there trustworthy and loving. HE really is an excellent provider and healer, Adonai El roi. I will be glad once the divorce is through.
@normatorresortiz7771
@normatorresortiz7771 Ай бұрын
I totally relate with Jessica. 😢
@janberger4057
@janberger4057 Ай бұрын
There are casinos EVERYWHERE. My ex-husband has a gambling problem, so in addition to being a narcissist, he was lying to me routinely and stranded me for hours at a time at camp grounds, motels, hotels and even an hospital emergency room.
@HerFragrantGarden
@HerFragrantGarden Ай бұрын
What!! I can’t believe this I love you in the dust? No way those are signs not to miss
@janm9610
@janm9610 Ай бұрын
Mine would obsessively buy and sell guns and knives. Of course he said I do that because YOU don't make me happy....I let him do his thing, his money. Anyway, we divorced, he immediately moved in w " the love of his life" 3 weeks after our last fight in our 7 MONTH MARRIAGE, yes, 7 months. I've heard thru the grapevine that packages come and go from his house at at unbelievable rate( I know the ups driver.) loser 😂😂😂😂
@GODisAble2014
@GODisAble2014 Ай бұрын
I would love to hear her back on a new episode to talk about her co parenting (probably parallel parenting) experience. Obviously, if she is comfortable with that.
@leslievernick
@leslievernick Ай бұрын
We are planning a co-parenting panel. Thank you for this suggestion!
@GODisAble2014
@GODisAble2014 Ай бұрын
@@leslievernick Wonderful! Thank you so much!
Lynne's Story of Strength
41:12
Leslie Vernick
Рет қаралды 894
小丑把天使丢游泳池里#short #angel #clown
00:15
Super Beauty team
Рет қаралды 47 МЛН
Люблю детей 💕💕💕🥰 #aminkavitaminka #aminokka #miminka #дети
00:24
Аминка Витаминка
Рет қаралды 470 М.
КАКУЮ ДВЕРЬ ВЫБРАТЬ? 😂 #Shorts
00:45
НУБАСТЕР
Рет қаралды 3,5 МЛН
Is This Relationship Toxic? | Therapy & Theology
50:56
Proverbs 31 Ministries with Lysa TerKeurst
Рет қаралды 63 М.
The Art of Letting Go and Giving It to God
1:42:27
Leslie Vernick
Рет қаралды 13 М.
how do I live with someone that is indifferent to my feelings?
1:23:32
Leslie Vernick
Рет қаралды 12 М.
Dealing with Grief w/ Psychic Medium John Edward
1:13:47
Ed Mylett
Рет қаралды 976 М.
Recognizing Subtle Signs of Abuse
1:47:45
Leslie Vernick
Рет қаралды 38 М.
What the Bible Says About a Marriage Falling Apart | Therapy & Theology
35:47
Proverbs 31 Ministries with Lysa TerKeurst
Рет қаралды 207 М.
What Is Emotional Abuse with Leslie Vernick (Conquer Codependency God's Way)
42:57
Treasured Ministries International
Рет қаралды 10 М.
When a Narcissist Can't Control You, They Try These 3 Tricks
57:35
小丑把天使丢游泳池里#short #angel #clown
00:15
Super Beauty team
Рет қаралды 47 МЛН