Upgrade Your Social Skills #1 - Reading

Upgrade Your Social Skills #1 - Reading | Milton H. Erickson

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3 жыл бұрын

We are the preeminent social animal on the planet. Our survival and success depends on our ability to communicate and cooperate with others. And because of this, it's of utmost importance for us to understand people, especially the ones we are dealing with. We have to understand what they are thinking and feeling. What's driving them and what are their motivations. Otherwise, we risk hiring the wrong candidate, making the wrong friends, marrying the wrong person, or we risk being manipulated or deceived by those around us.
In this video, you are going to learn from the best reader of men and women that has ever lived -- Milton H. Erickson -- how to avoid all of that and how to take control of your social interactions.
This video is a summary of "The Laws of Human Nature"'s chapter on non-verbal communication.
"People tend to wear the mask that shows them of in the best possible light-humble, confident, diligent. They say the right things, smile, and seem interested in our ideas. They learn to conceal their insecurities and envy. If we take this appearance for reality, we never really know their true feelings, and on occasion, we are blindsided by their sudden resistance, hostility, and manipulative actions. Fortunately, the mask has cracks in it. People continually leak out their true feelings and unconscious desires in the nonverbal cues they cannot completely control-facial expressions, vocal inflections, the tension in the body, and nervous gestures. You must master this language by transforming yourself into a superior reader of men and women. Armed with this knowledge, you can take the proper defensive measures." - Robert Greene
The first song: Trio for Piano, Cello, and Clarinet by Kevin MacLeod
Link: incompetech.filmmusic.io/song...
License: creativecommons.org/licenses/b...

Пікірлер: 346

@HumanExperience-EN 3 жыл бұрын

If you liked this video you will also like the book "The Laws of Human Nature " by Robert Greene. I highly recommend you read it (if you haven't already), as well as The Mentalist which is a great and fun series where you can see how far Milton Erickson's skills can take you.

@nosadeussuramus9113 10 ай бұрын

I have read the book and also seen bits and clips of the Mentalist. Are there any more sources that you can recommend? There's a yt channel called the the art of deduction, then there's subject of cold reading, body language, inert words, etc. I would love to learn more since I was a bit autistic when I was a kid but since learning and starting this journey, I have fit in more and more till the point of developing sense of humor and understanding social situations better.

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

@@nosadeussuramus9113 I have found Robert Greene's book "The Art of Seduction" to be pretty useful for me when it came to communicating. While the book focuses on what I can call 'romantic' seduction, it also focuses on non-romantic seduction, and how you can become a person that is able to be better communicate and be persuasive or 'seductive'. There is also the yt channel called Charisma on Command. Years ago when I watched them, they had pretty good advice. But that was years ago so I don't know how things are now.

@nosadeussuramus9113 10 ай бұрын

@@HumanExperience-EN Yeah I read the book in summarized way recently amd it's good but I am looking for something......more? Idk it's just looking for something super human like ig and way out of expectations. Btw I used to watch charisma on command too.

@coachnursececille 10 ай бұрын

Thank you so much. I have heard about Robert Greene's book, but not The Mentalist. I can't wait!

@jyoung2393 10 ай бұрын

Also, as a fun show that explores these tactics, "Lie to Me." Dale Carnegie wrote a book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" which is also helpful

@heisenburg8608 10 ай бұрын

From somebody that was one of the most sociable and popular kids in school, that went anti social and hated the world, then done full circle and turned back. The best thing that helped me through the struggle was the fact that the person youre talking to is no better than you.They struggle with insecurities, they want to feel secure and important like you do. The skill to be social is to help people feel secure, treat them like your brother that you want to see do well. Make them feel important as the individual they are, address them by their name, be genuine in taking interest into their life.

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

Agree. Good advice!

@Purpleiciousbabe 10 ай бұрын

It’s a fact! Be kind and leave a good impression always!

@ArchinatorWC88 10 ай бұрын

bro. I am at the middle of the stage your talking about and have always wondered if I was crazy or something . you are me to a tee. i was social like a mafa, and then boom later in life complete opposite. i want to turn back around!

@yrgarcon 10 ай бұрын

You are reffering to Asocial. Antisocial is a term that (eg) psychopathy falls under, not something that fluctuates. Antisocial traits are also not reffering to asocial and socially withdrawn traits, Antisocial trait are behaviours like manipulation and deceit. Some antisocial people are extroverts and social butterflies. It is not the same.

@toptiercrip 10 ай бұрын

That's basically manipulation lol anybody could easily pretend to like somebody, make them feel important n secure that's why players exist

@MorsOktober 10 ай бұрын

Social skills are really nothing more than a sustained series of small courtesies. If you visit someone, always bring something, even if it's just a bottle of wine. Never come empty handed -- and don't take it home with you when you leave, you leave it for the host. Be clean in your body and your clothes and your speech. Speak less and listen more. Look people in the eye when you speak to them. When you do speak, have a friendly smile on your face and it will show in your voice. If you don't know what to say, say nothing, but at least acknowledge that the person was speaking to you. It's ok to say you don't really know how to respond. Wait til people are done speaking before you speak. Do not treat what they say as stupid no matter how stupid it seems to you. Ignore all insults and attempts to get under your skin, but remember who does it and then ignore them socially later. If you receive a compliment, thank the speaker and then move on, speaking something nice about them, turn the attention to others in a positive way. Always ask for something by saying "please" or "may I". Never forget to say "thank you" when any thing is done for you, no matter how small. Never forget to say "you're welcome" when someone says "thank you". Open the door for everyone, men and women, and let them proceed first. Be kind to children. Shake hands firmly. Wish people good luck and Godspeed when you leave them, say good morning, good afternoon and good night when you meet or leave someone. Be kind. Be generous in small things like tips, compliments, small favors. Never dismiss anyone out of hand -- you can learn something from everyone. Be kind to waiters, hotel staff, and beggars/panhandlers/homeless and anyone who serves you. Always be patient. Never lose your temper in public. Praise people in public and if you must criticize, do it in private. Make all criticism constructive and positive. Avoid ad hominem attacks when arguing, attack only the argument, not the person. You can disagree without being disagreeable. Avoid infringing on people's personal space and privacy.

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for taking the time to provide excellent advice!

@blue-xxxxx-xxx 10 ай бұрын

That's honestly the best advice on this I've heard so far

@summerwinters1315 10 ай бұрын

Thank you.

@spoopyscaryskelebones3846 9 ай бұрын

I ain’t readin allat (I did it was good)

@realityhits3022 9 ай бұрын

Thank you.

@Sidera17 10 ай бұрын

That opening part about a person who never learned how to control the ability to conceal or fit in correctly basically describes the struggle of being autistic perfectly. It's not something we learn easily, naturally, or at all, and the social price we pay keeps accruing the more complex the social dynamics are. Whether we have good or ill intent, we tend to struggle and be locked out of many social interactions simply because of this inability to mask well and read others well.

@dodgimus_prime 10 ай бұрын

I was diagnosed ASD in my 30s and it helped put a lot of my life into perspective, but during the first 30sec of the video, I pretty much was like "nope, nuh uh, not me." I never learned to adapt and 'mask' like that. My version of masking was simply to become a character, some type of individual I thought people wanted based off of what I saw on TV. This, in turn made me excel at acting in high school and college, but made me feel like I was a liar and imposter any other time. And when I wasn't acting, I was open, direct, honest, and too trusting of people, and only ever got taken advantage of.

@Sidera17 10 ай бұрын

@@dodgimus_prime I did exactly the same coping mechanism. Adopt inflexible masks and work off a "script" depending on the person. A lot of the time I was perceived as being manipulative bc as people got to know me and I unmasked, they felt deceived. I too was not diagnosed until my early 30s. I realized I can read large, simple gestures in others, but not the subtle microexpressions. It feels like being red-green colorblind and knowing only the position of the light and whether it is lit. Also, NTs don't understand it is also about *fluency* in social reading. In an interaction, if I have to go "off script" or read in the moment, I cannot figure out what to say or do and miss cues. I can analyze people I am not interacting with and be pretty accurate with the social read, but when it's happening to me, it's too much information all at once shifting too quickly with no idea how to influence or guide it.

@anacatarinam4167 10 ай бұрын

I learned to always tell the truth because of religion and that brought me so many problems

@shipratrika2586 10 ай бұрын

So if you can’t mask like the society, or be fake, are not able to fit in, are you considered autistic? Authenticity is not accepted in society??

@ym2931 10 ай бұрын

@@anacatarinam4167 that's good though. Keep doing that. The truth will set you free not a lie however people think that by protecting themselves with a lie will generate he outcomes they need and or want.

@Purpleiciousbabe 10 ай бұрын

I definitely try to be more observant! I am highly intuitive and I notice these things. I think I need to develop/strengthen my observation skills further to improve my decisions. It means being emotionally detached!

@leopold-bl1xd 4 ай бұрын

If you want to sharpen your observation and communication skills check out Chase Hughes.

@merkins87 10 ай бұрын

Having worked in a prison & noticed very slight changes in people (on both sides of the gates), I've often told myself "relax: you're over-thinking it, don't be paranoid" then something rather large ends up coming out. Trust your gut- always. It may seem minute, but we're descendants of the apes that looked over our shoulders at that "what's that?" Sound; the ones that said "don't be a pussy, bro" are no longer with us.

@squidwardtentacles2736 10 ай бұрын

that's so true. I personally believe that what people refer to as intuition is really just our subconscious picking up on things that our conscious mind is not aware of. That gut feeling is very much the same thing --your brain adding up small details and comparing it to other details and saying "hold up, this doesn't make sense." I try to convey this in my short horror stories where a character gets scared because they have a mixture of emotions about a scary situation due to this conflict. You've probably become extremely observant in that profession, I've heard over and over from guards that you have to notice subtleties in prisoners behavior because many times the ones who survive and thrive do so by insidious behavior.

@squidwardtentacles2736 10 ай бұрын

to add to that, your very last comment was every horror movie ever lol. (hears suspicious sound) Scared Guy: Hey man this place is supposed to be abandoned. We should leave. Tough Acting Guy: Stop being so scared it's nothing. One minute later, someone dies. What people hate about horror movies is that is scares you but fear is not a bad thing. Fear is there to keep you alive, the ones in denial that they're scared are always first to go.

@davidsalo8397 10 ай бұрын

Essentially, beware of the person who tells you "who are you going to believe? Me, or your lying eyes?"

@SevenTheMisgiven 8 ай бұрын

Yes you worked in a prison. I am sure you understand people as a whole now. I actually was in a youth prison once for stealing a bike. I read this book about a matriarchal society and I thought it was a rather interesting dynamic in the book which I discussed with the prison guard there. He then thought I was a women hater who couldn't comprehend the concept of a matriarchy. Because that is the level of intelligence of prison guards. Not actually capable of understanding 1 tiny layer deeper. And in case you don't understand what I am saying either, I am practically a hyper feminist.

@matty8272 10 ай бұрын

I learned to have zero trust or faith in anyone until it is earned. Even then it's a thin line.

@Romogi 10 ай бұрын

I am autistic. My life has value. I made my life in away encourages introversion and lets me work on my hobbies, even though I am naturally extroverted. Masking takes too much effort.

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

I think we should strive to build a life where we have to wear masks for as little as possible. It's reasonable to have to wear a mask in public for practical reasons, but those masks should not be very different from our true selves. With our friends and family, we should really have no masks. But if that's needed because some people don't accept our true selves, maybe we should distance ourselves from these people and just be with people we can be ourselves.

@Koryogden 10 ай бұрын

As an Autistic as well, I think it's even more important to learn social acuity (to even the playing field)... So while I feel similarly about having no mask, we should also be highly skilled at masking -- because if you are trying to network in mass volume, you are gonna need these micro-gestures to work for you to minimize time and energy expenditure in meeting people... Subtle body language , facial cues, voice tonality , speed of tone , etc all play a huge role in meeting people , and if you can't calibrate your energetic state to be in a high positive at-will , then masking is gonna be like the way to cheat the system. If that makes sense

@Koryogden 10 ай бұрын

The path to congruence goes down many layers it seems , and even Autistic people have Egoic-thinking in which we lie to ourselves in fabricating stories/narratives for our personal meaning/identity and high levels of social balance can help mitigate the risk of Egoic-thinking hijacking our mind-computer

@lalarebelse5985 10 ай бұрын

@@BlackHeadJuiceplay normal but be honest

@central_scrutinizr 10 ай бұрын

@@BlackHeadJuice⁠That’s a great question and as the mother of an autistic toddler, I really appreciate you asking it. I hope my son will grow up in a world where his peers will ask sincere, good-hearted questions like this. Thank you!

@chuutyreads 10 ай бұрын

This account is a gold mine of Autistic Masking Advice i love you

@Yln4 9 ай бұрын

I’m so glad I found this video. I have social anxiety and I struggle with reading other people and also expressing my own cues. I also wish to study medicine as well as psychology and psychiatry, and I believe in the mind having just as much, if not more power than the body. I had never met or heard of anyone else just like me, but now I think I’ve found myself a new inspiration :)

@kingsleynweke9143 10 ай бұрын

The Death note clip was where you won me over! I love this video. Thanks so much for sharing

@Dew_2080 10 ай бұрын

Frrrr😂😂

@blossomdaisy17 9 ай бұрын

So true 😂

@LoveGrowsAdam 10 ай бұрын

I want to be among men that strive for growth, men that are clean and organized, men that give and receive freely, not men who give to take.

@dianab.3138 3 жыл бұрын

I've wanted to read The Laws of human nature for some time now and this video made me more interested in reading it

@tiffanyg3584 4 ай бұрын

The day before he was paralyzed his doctor told informed his family he wouldn’t make it past the night. Milton Erickson fought all night long not to fall asleep. He survived and was left paralyzed.

@chemicalx3353 10 ай бұрын

this is so chill i also look at people as if they are glasses and i look in people how the body language reacts to what they say and how they say it psychology and what drives people to do things i've always understood it . but never seen it explained so clearly as this. you do forget something just by observing yourself you increase your knowledge so well that everyone you come into contact with actually knows right away, but you also feel good about people's energy. psychological blocks can cause a lot of problems, and if you also believe in doctors then it's really not good

@taewoods2034 10 ай бұрын

Good stuff. You can see KZfaq is pushing your stuff a bit more right now. I hope you capitalize on it and start posting more cause this was pretty good! Keep grinding bruh

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

Thank you! You are right! I will try to do that!

@spcs1 10 ай бұрын

I can't per se read the nonverbal cues. But as an introvert I've always sat back and observed rather than jump up and engage and I've become really good at reading facial expressions and tone of voice. When I ask someone how they're doing, they respond with an "I'm fine" of course, but I watch them a bit either before or after they say they're fine and can easilly tell if they're actually fine. I can usually tell when they throw up that fake smile or when it's genuine. I can say with confidence that there's gonna be someone who knows that you're not fine even when you think you're hiding it perfectly.

@squidwardtentacles2736 10 ай бұрын

As someone who is legally blind it took me a while to realize some of my social awkwardness came from not seeing nonverbal cues people give in face-to-face interactions because I pay attention to people's tone even more than your average person. I'm not socially inept by any means but I have noticed that the mkre awkward interactions are when someone's trying to tell me something by motioning toward something or making a face that I don't notice. That being said, I much prefer being around people who are more open and honest, as this videos has confirmed that someone not being completely honest will say one thing but show another. Someone could intentionally trip me up by making their tone more convincing, but I got where I pick up on that now because when someone is over the top about being serious or joking it's almost always the opposite; they're trying too hard to convince you.

@azareloropeza3261 10 ай бұрын

Bruh your blind your can't see

@squidwardtentacles2736 10 ай бұрын

@@azareloropeza3261 no shit Sherlock

@davidsalo8397 10 ай бұрын

Someone trying too hard to convince you is best described as manipulation. Manipulative behavior is a good barometer of narcissistic spectrum. It's pretty easy to see through that mask when you deal with it and develop experience.

@squidwardtentacles2736 10 ай бұрын

@@davidsalo8397 I used to be married to someone who could probably be diagnosed as a narcissist, but she'd never go to a psychologist because she'd be too afraid of a professional telling her that she had any fault in the relationship. I never realized until years later what a clinical narcissist was until I watched a video about it and she ticked just about every box.

@AurumChrys 9 ай бұрын

What kind of tone would it take to trip you up now that you're more able to pick them apart? Any specific inflections or anything?

@haroldi.6450 10 ай бұрын

Algorithm jackpot. Keep it up man

@flobba123 10 ай бұрын

social skills? Well i have started to communicate with other human beings so mabye i need some of that since people are clearly uncomfortable around me. They avoid eye contact, try to make themself seem as boring and unintrested as possible, Walk away if they see me comming their way, ignore my messages. Clearly i need to become better

@windoasis 10 ай бұрын

to think authenticity/vulnerability is the reason for despise and ridicule blew my brain today. it’s hardcore when people want to rip through the illusion to hurt another person. because all they do is want to do that to others. it’s all about staying in character

@VaibhavPuranik007 10 ай бұрын

I've lived as the first kind for 30 years of my life. By now I've learnt, wear a mask it's essential.

@GridSeer 10 ай бұрын

when he described the person that never learnt how to act and blend in I was like "THAT'S ME!" then he said "They will be ridiculed and despised" OH. That explains... a lot.

@AurumChrys 9 ай бұрын

Have you learned to blend in yet lol

@aaronk3788 11 ай бұрын

I am perplexed why this channel never took off...? editing and general content within is valuable and on point, hopefully you didn't lose your ambition on this and something out of your control sidetracked you.. hopefully you are safe at least! Thanks

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

Thank you very much for your concern! Fortunately, the ambition was never lost and will never be. When I started the channel, I was able to fully focus on it as I made it my main priority. But after spending a couple of months (~9 months I think) creating videos (some that are now unlisted), and scripts that never became videos, I realized that it will take years until it became something that I will be able to do full time, as the channel never got traction (getting around 5-30 views on each video) and there were no signs in sight that it will get better. So what I simply did was to stop focusing on the channel for a while, and instead I worked and tried to reach a point in my life where I was able to work at this channel for years consistently. Unfortunately, I am still trying to reach that point; but as I am now in a better position than I was two years ago, I will try to start that years-long process, that I was delaying, now. I hope you are well, as well!

@JensNotDead 10 ай бұрын

I agree! I just discovered this channel and I'm glad that your ambition hasn't waned! Your topics are interesting and practical. And I think that your channel has the potential to take off if you get more visibility. Quality content is always appreciated. We're rooting for you ✊️

@siorno 10 ай бұрын

Fair enough, good luck on your future success. I do hope to see more from you in the future 🤝

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

@@JensNotDead Thank you very much for your support and kind words! 🙏

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

@@siorno Thank you! I wish you the best of luck in all of your endeavors as well!🙌

@user-wp1kp1hv1g 9 ай бұрын

being super observant is scary sometimes. id overthink sometimes and see sides of people i wish i didn’t have to see but it helps me avoid them at the same time

@baptm727 10 ай бұрын

There's one rule that never fails. First you have to learn to be still. When you got it, then you'll be able to instantly discern when someone is being disingenuous. Then, you'll see that this rule never fails, here it is: Someone is always the opposite of what they are spending their whole energy trying to convey they are. All it takes is mastering the first requirement, which isn't easy in itself, but it's doable.

@spietadresiara74 10 ай бұрын

i noticed it as well... but could you please precise what you mean with staying still?

@baptm727 10 ай бұрын

@@spietadresiara74 remaining present in the moment, open and perceptive. Not being busy being someone, doing something, going somewhere.

@spietadresiara74 10 ай бұрын

@@baptm727 thank u:)

@mokesmister85 10 ай бұрын

This is the sign ive been looking for 🙏🏼

@ezekyle4022 3 жыл бұрын

Great video 😃 Looking forward to more videos from you guys.

@HumanExperience-EN 3 жыл бұрын

Thank You!

@brian9a331 8 ай бұрын

I don't know him, but i'm following the same path as his. I create a mask for myself that comes from the knowledge on people's behaviour to further understand what's on their mind. Analyze the consistency comes first. Though i don't use all masks i created. A mask needs an experience to flourish. Wether it's their talking skill, their way of think, etc. If i can't fulfill those, i can't be them fully. One of my mask tends to not use inner monologue, but rather to enjoy & response to the outside world as it is. Thus he's more extroverted. He don't like being distracted by his own mind. It's harder to pull off if i stick on one mask for too long. There's a way to break it, is to experience something again that is fond for the other mask. To break a mask needs an exercise of mind. I need to erase the impression from the other mask and view it from the current mask. Do it until the impression is all gone and become a forgotten mask. I won't live on a mask's fate. It's a tool to deal, relate, and read people. I love being someone, because i don't have home for myself. I won't fix my weaker self when i can forget it. Before using all of this, surrender selfishness. I don't know what's this mechanism called, because i prefer to self taught myself without my bias perspective for a long time.

@Soul_King77 8 ай бұрын

As someone who is extremely interested in psychology and applied it to himself, this video was truly fascinating! I hope you will make a part 2 of this series soon!

@gracemcnamara4470 10 ай бұрын

Excellent and Thankyou xx

@empresscarrot5417 10 ай бұрын

Amazing. I wished all psychologists/therapists/psychiatrists are like that.

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

Same

@SevenTheMisgiven 8 ай бұрын

The other side of the story here is that it took a smart person to become completely paralyzed before he started to notice these sorts of things and he can still be wrong. Personally I am much more of the belief people are *not* all that adept at reading each other. The amount of times I meet someone claiming to be Highly Sensitive but they end up being the worst judges of character drives this home for me personally.

@Samanmakeup 10 ай бұрын

Your speech and tone is compelling & engaging. Love it

@MWORLD333 10 ай бұрын

FASCINATING VIDEO, VERY WELL PUT TOGETHER. EASY TO UNDERSTAND. THANKS YOU FOR SHARING, I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED LEARNING ABOUT HUMAN NATURE AND SELF DEVELOPMENT. HOPE TO SEE MORE VIDEOS SOON. NEW SUB ❤

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for your kind words! Glad you enjoyed it!

@lunarshadow5584 10 ай бұрын

Regaining the ability to walk once more was described in a way that I think tells this man was of the autistic spectrum. Most normal people don't recognize the minor things like that, more commonly from the high end of the spectrum are people commonly born observant but to be able to tell the minor changes within your own body is something I myself can do. I can tell when I'm sick before I show any symptoms because the inside of my body reacts in different ways from normal and if I take the common steps of using pills right away, taking a shower, and lying down for an hour or two and I end up stopping it before it started. Or my own personal social skill that I'm capable of was using hindsight to guess at a person's future coming problem, something that had friends calling me a "love guru" when they needed advice on their relationship.

@user-ns4hr5hj3u 9 ай бұрын

I just read this book and dude its so good

@cheesesteakphilly 10 ай бұрын

I like this stuff. Thank you for this and I’m subbing.

@halobanh-cn3kw 10 ай бұрын

Every day I was observing my classroom and the students in the room. Suddenly I found this video lol... Yea, I can see if they wear masks or not by their facial expression or how they talk, like the tone or their body language. I have a lot of fun.

@pratikdandwate6337 7 ай бұрын

In this video you talked about Milton Erickson. Please recommend a book by him that covers all the aspects of social skills. Also your content is really good, try to upload more videos!

@bernardmartinez1275 10 ай бұрын

I observe a lot however I never play a game to stay authentic. It works or not not, I don’t mind to play a game to please to people who don’t deserve my respect and commitment. 8 billions people, the choice of good people is the best for a happy life. All is said according to me.

@yellow_daffodil5689 10 ай бұрын

Great video

@The_Questionaut 10 ай бұрын

Just found this, instant sub

@marshalepage5330 10 ай бұрын

I notice nonverbal communication too much. It's overwhelming. I then attempt to insulate from it, which causes people to think I don't understand or care, but I'm actually overwhelmed by their emotions.

@user-zu1ix3yq2w 8 ай бұрын

Same here.

@May-nh6dc 10 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤

@Moneim_Hm 10 ай бұрын

6:22 france jumpscare

@bentonrp 10 ай бұрын

1:50 How did this person draw a chalk line exactly through the center bracket of the "E" in the word "yes" in this piece of stock footage...?

@marshallorr6220 10 ай бұрын

My failed relationship made me read people better or more sensitive to it. Before I was pretty oblivious. Some cues are not always indicative of something though.

@I_membahh 9 ай бұрын

That’s i I learned it too, made me a better person, and better to others around me. But I’m unhappier because of it.

@paraskaith5027 10 ай бұрын

Quite interesting , I had never heard about Milton till now

@fayfay114 6 ай бұрын

I'm not very social. I only talk to somebody if they talk to me first and I'm not very good at making conversations. They would be doing the talking for the most part. Every time I walk past someone I think of greeting them but instead I look the other way and walk away. I want to have a big circle of friends/people I know. I want to be social but I don't want all eyes on me which is why I'm not very active. Since I don't actively participate in diff activities , I don't get the chance to talk to a lot of people . Yeah , I'm just an introvert.

@ikedacripps 10 ай бұрын

I’m able to do this however every time I do it , I feel the person notices that I’ve read them and they start to feel more insecure and start behaving weirdly , I don’t know how to tell them that it’s okay , that it’s completely normal

@ryanwilliams6602 10 ай бұрын

This can become counterproductive when you turn away a genuine person that you think you are detecting insincerity from just because you want to be some guru that thinks they can read everyone. When someone is humble, a person who feels threatened by that might think the humble person is holding back and wearing a mask to hide something. What usually results is the guru will ask the same question multiple times to passively express they detect bullshit, and use multiple tactics to fish for the person's flaws in order to validate their suspicion. Of course someone might act weird after that because they want to get the hell out of there. And the problem is that the sudden uncomfortable weirdness makes others think the guru was right, then the humble person leaves and never looks back, while the guru can rest assured there is no one else to feel threatened by. I don't think they are feeling insecure when you use your tactics, I think they are more so asking themselves, "why can't 2 people have a normal 1 on 1 conversation without the mental gymnastics". If a person is not an "open book" for you it does not mean they are wearing a mask.

@ikedacripps 10 ай бұрын

@@ryanwilliams6602 what’s a normal conversation without mental gymnastics my friend…

@psycheecho 10 ай бұрын

this is very useful!

@user-xs9rz3fx6l 10 ай бұрын

Thanks for video. It helps me a lot.

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

Glad it helped!

@lovemonster7283 6 ай бұрын

I don't wear a mask. My personal is to be close to myself even though it was quite extravert before, way before. Now I'm close to myself naturally. I don't think I'll be winning much by wearing a mask. I'm authentic! I'll keep it that way.

@jucartier 11 сағат бұрын

Erikson’s research and theory has been since disproved many many times. You might want to look up the theory of constructed emotions for a more nuanced look.

@missamy3606 10 ай бұрын

I don't know about the rest of you, but I refuse to protray the crowd. I've always said what meant and alway meant what I said. There's really not too many people that like me, and I'm ok with that. I don't feel the need to explain myself about anything. I'm also not anyone's entertainment either, so I don't have a problem getting the people around me together...my peace is the most important thing to me. If you bring me drama or anything, im cutting you off. so yea

@deez001 9 ай бұрын

Holy crap, I just started paying attention to the people around me I saw exactly what they were feeling.

@I_membahh 9 ай бұрын

Compared to what you think and what you realize, isn’t all what you really though it was, was it ? Every one has a story

@NoaH-tj2jq 9 ай бұрын

Impressive, very nice. Lets see paul allens social skills

@vashcrimson4395 10 ай бұрын

DeathNote isn’t very reassuring as an example for observing..

@surpriseblessings2260 10 ай бұрын

Perhaps you could do more videos explaining what the book says? : )

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

While the book is great and has many valuable lessons, I don't want to do many videos based on the same book, because I feel like that would be unfair for the author. Having just one video is not affecting the author in any way, on the contrary, if you mention the book in the video, it's more like an advertisement. The viewer gets just enough information to want to buy the book to find more. (That's how I found a lot of great books from youtube) But if you create too many videos on a book, that would make people not want to buy it, because they might feel they got most of the information from the book, so why buy it? I don't want that to create that, as it would be incredibly unfair for the author, and I think it might be illegal as well (depending on how you do it).

@avawatson4494 10 ай бұрын

I'm sorry but thinking this way will disadvantage you a lot in life & trust me he wouldn't care, & it would be beneficial for all parties. Try to do whatever you can for your channel to take off. It's not at all immoral. Good luck 🤞

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

@@avawatson4494 Thank you! 🙏 I partially agree with you. I still stand by the notion of not creating too many videos on the same book, to the point where you generate for the viewer the idea that there is not worth it anymore to buy it. But a couple of short summary videos, on a book that has 28 hours and 26 minutes on audible, it would definitely not be close to create that sentiment for the viewer. Also, Robert Greene doesn't seem to have a problem with these types of videos, as there are very long summary videos on youtube, and even the book (audiobook) itself is on youtube (at least half of it). So I might make videos similar to this one on the book, but likely it will not be a simple summary, like the "The Unfortunate Reason Why You Haven't Succeeded & Why You Won't Succeed" video that takes some information from the book "Outliers", but also a lot of information from other sources, or like the effects of meditation video.

@redrumax 10 ай бұрын

@@avawatson4494 get the book and read it

@krusmatrieya3181 9 ай бұрын

Thanks you might just have saved my life. I know these information already but not in the way this video presented it as.

@amyj.4992 9 ай бұрын

People are just mad, because my mother taught me to see through other people and how to recognize when my own face talks.

@Italsik 10 ай бұрын

I think my reading skill is good just that I'm shit at handling it HAHAHA. And oh, I trust people so easily that as soon as I point it out, they would excuse themselves and I would believe them, and just think I'm overthinking.

@ohhowfuckingoriginal 10 ай бұрын

The act that they excuse themselves to you is really a positive thing arising from your actions. Your honesty and the evidence of individual attention towards them makes them feel endeared and friendly to you. That type of interaction is what builds relationships and social cooperation.

@GlamourGrid18 10 ай бұрын

Nice

@iraja333 10 ай бұрын

Some of us could since we were children but hated it. You could see the lies darkside of people. So force yourself to ignore it stop the ability

@carol-us4xn 8 ай бұрын

Just paying attention!

@dwacheopus 10 ай бұрын

We need part 2

@MFTC. 8 ай бұрын

I'm using this to become a better spy main

@Livelaughlove-su6jy 5 ай бұрын

I like being able to read people

@arandompersonintheinternet8425 8 ай бұрын

Has someone how went from being an introverted to a "fake?" Extroverted I relate so much, like, almost all my interactions are me fake agreeing or just listening to the other person even tho I don't really agree or don't get along with them.

@user-qz2nb8sv1z 10 ай бұрын

LOL the death note caught me off guard

@lalarebelse5985 10 ай бұрын

Oh thats why they avoid me. I am like that the same everywere.

@DrumWild 10 ай бұрын

Same here. Hello, fellow Autistic person.

@jaysonscott187 10 ай бұрын

It sometimes feels sordid, the level I involuntarily assess others, throughout the day. But I'm no Erickson of course.

@melwest1407 9 ай бұрын

as a swim teacher some people are really stiff,i can feel somthing is verry wrong,makes me feel really sad,i want to help them so much but i can feel that their broken,😢its made worse when after months it persists, i want to ask them whos hurt you? i can feel their pain😢

@anaszaaroura2353 10 ай бұрын

I am glad I am myself

@hilsbroorjlch3259 8 ай бұрын

Also, at least in America; when you can see deeper than people want you to, they avoid you.

@pickst3373 10 ай бұрын

I see through people that's why I am sick

@jazuk01 10 ай бұрын

Interesting....why not by a book by Milton Erickson, and learn from the source?

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

A book focused primarily on Milton Erickson could have been used to create the video for sure. In the future, there could be a video/s exploring more stuff regarding Milton Erickson and his teachings, with the script/s being written based on books focusing only on Milton (from what I've found Milton did not personally write books). But this video was based on the book "The Laws of Human Nature" by Robert Greene because that's where I first heard about him, and I found the information in the book well-structured with well-drawn conclusions, that I thought were worth sharing.

@tonymusicrehab Жыл бұрын

What’s the movie call that’s used in this video?

@HumanExperience-EN Жыл бұрын

The Mentalist

@458chris 10 ай бұрын

💥

@MrBates-dh1qy 10 ай бұрын

5:35 CLOCKED

@futureproof.health 10 ай бұрын

I pick up on vocal inflections. The voice sounds genuinely human. But its Rhythm seems synthetic. Or someone for whom English was a second language. Chad GeePT

@mgmgwynne3182 8 ай бұрын

My heck for social skill is playing poker😁😁

@empresscarrot5417 10 ай бұрын

New subscriber here. I hope you create new videos 😊

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

Thank you. I am grateful that you decided to subscribe. I hope you enjoy the content. As there is some very important work that demands my attention now, I will be able to start from the next week to work on the next video.

@empresscarrot5417 10 ай бұрын

@@HumanExperience-EN that's great! Thank you also for replying 😊

@Al-iz5nz 10 ай бұрын

Why would that guy or girl who doesn't have a mask be avoided, ridiculed and despised?

@vindex7309 10 ай бұрын

It’s about social understanding. It’s basically like someone opening the door for another person and that person sees this and waits for the person who opened the door to go first, because that’s what you do with doors, you open it to walk through it. It’s this disconnect between the social context of “this person is being polite” to “why isn’t he going through the door?” And thinking the person holding the door is a psycho… but it’s also the other way around. Another example might be a group of people are holding a meeting, it’s very professional. But there’s one person there who showed up in a tshirt and shorts. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this, but the practice of dressing up, making sure you look good, having put forethought into the type of watch you wear or cologne you use to signal that you are conscientious and care is what is standard in those settings. Really, the most important thing to remember when trying to connect with people is that they are people. They’re riding by the seat of their pants, no matter how put together they look. They still have insecurities and they are still learning how to be human. Be respectful of this and, if you’re wondering why they’re standing there holding the door open, just ask “hey, are you going through that door?”

@robbylebotha 10 ай бұрын

Because he thinks he's something he's not. Everyone has a mask, the guy that THINKS he doesn't, THINKS he's the most real person to ever live and that the rest of us are fake pretenders. If you think you don't wear a mask then you don't understand what a mask is. It doesn't mean you're not being real, it means you can read the room when you have to, not turn it upside down because you think you're being "real". You have a home mask, work mask, father mask, son mask ect. TLDR? Such people are usually arseholes because they think that's "being real"

@migspeculates 7 ай бұрын

and yet in some social contexts individuals are asked to be more casual and relaxed. I can't win with these made up rules by different individual agents with varying motivations and goals.

@lukeet331 10 ай бұрын

My man was basically just Sherlock Holmes

@jeremiahtenorio9194 10 ай бұрын

What's the name of the movie you included in 6:30?

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

The Mentalist

@shawntapley6733 8 ай бұрын

how do i mask i am the person described at 30-1.01

@PSTAI321 9 ай бұрын

3:35 using my deduction and ideas, i thinki his paralised part of brain that work for movement is been forced back to live be himself so he can walk again on his own

@HenryCasillas 10 ай бұрын

☮️

@boris500 10 ай бұрын

That guy slowly became Sherlock Holmes

@gyanprakashraj4062 10 ай бұрын

SIRR KAATAKE DENE AAYEGAA NAA ...WO BHII NAHI LUNGAA...🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

@carlswills140 10 ай бұрын

Sounds like they trying to take my ideas and replace them with other people lol I swear I better get my justice

@harbinger5352 9 ай бұрын

I just want to say, you cannot crack my mask. I have a triple layer defense of two personalities and an unusual body language.

@GamezAlpha 10 ай бұрын

Still the 'why' still need verbal communication. . .

@aimist8099 10 ай бұрын

The real Sherlock 😅

@rodrek799 10 ай бұрын

I got more faces that Anya stock 😅

@musicandairplanes6330 10 ай бұрын

How do you know human’s didn’t always speak?

@HumanExperience-EN 10 ай бұрын

I cannot answer your question, as the script for the video was based on the book "The Laws of Human Nature " by Robert Greene, and thus, on the research made by the author. But from what I've read, researchers look at things like larynx, and compare it to other non-human primates to determine when speech appeared in early humans.

@DrumWild 10 ай бұрын

They didn't always speak.