You have to calmly tell them what they did wrong. See if they can answer you when you ask what is the right way. If not, then kindly tell them what is the right way, so that they can learn.

I handle it the same way Amy does. I kneel at eye level and tell them what they did wrong and talk with them to see if they understand

Beat it into them?

Great question and tips! 😊

You use more of the the behavior matching and playful interaction. Time In is a great time to use healthy touch to practice self regulation.

Hug them. Or lay down next to them. Be with them. Face it - you could not make them stay away, or actually make them do anything in the midst of a tantrum anyway could you? So just go with it. Give them the words they need to express their feelings. "looks like you're really sad/frustrated/angry because you really want(ed)..." Soon they will say "yes" with tears and sadness, and you have a connection with them. Now, trouble-shoot with them e.g "Do you want to tell Sissy you;re sorry you broke her toy?" , "Do you want to come back to the park tommorow?"

Agreed!!! I was sent to my room for time outs and was sent go my room alone, if my kid is being completely disobedient and I've firmly warned them 3 times before time out happens... this is an invitation for children to not understand direct consequences.. and come on let's face it when your child is being completely obnoxious and you gave them opportunity to change and they're still refusing with the same behavior, being away from your child for 3 minutes and allowing them to regroup isn't emotionally damaging them.... it's showing them.consequences happen as a result of behavior... this let's talk about I'm right her is a bunch of crap... sometimes juuust sometimes you don't want to speak to your child when they're acting out. This is utter insanity!! Just another pat on the back and another future adult who will be unprepared when life kicks them in the ass and they suddenly realize not everyone is going to want to pull them aside to express their emotions and feeling...completely assinign!!!

Omg thank you I know! I’m reading all the positive comments thinking I’m doing something wrong. I used to work with kids on the spectrum and this sounds like it is just positively reinforcing negative behaviors.

You do timeouts and your house is chaos. Think about that.

She is a world where she dealt with severely traumatized kids.This is parenting techniques for kids that come from hard places.

You realize this is written for foster children or parents who have children from backgrounds who have history of neglect (extensive time out, isolation), so that's the basis of this thesis

So, all this advice is for children who come from hard places. If your kid is biologically yours parenting is a different ball game.

Gordon Neufeld states that any kind of separation based discipline is not good.