I mean, conversely, there are plenty of people out there who seem to think that good etiquette is snobbery .. too.

There's certainly a level of 'snobbery' in etiquette. It is bad etiquette to point out to a person that they made a mistake, but it is not uncommon for people to talk about these mistakes behind that person's back after the fact.

@@flamethrow868 I feel like that would still count as people having pretty bad/poor/ etiquette. My mother always told me it was terrible manners to speak ill of those who were not present to defend themselves; and there is a reason that the phrase "stabbed in the back" has a common metaphorical usage, not just a literal one.

​@@flamethrow868 But etiquette in history was not just for the elite or upper class. It doesn't have to go hand in hand with snobbery either. In 'Emma' by Jane Austen you can get a really good idea of the different classes and etiquette I think. And what stood out to me is that in that book it were the middle or lower classes that were gossipping and talking badly about others, while the upper class was always trying to 'fix up' their mistakes often even without them knowing. And these mistakes were not just about rules but also about really hurting other peope. The upper class also took so much more responsibility in caring for others like visiting people regurarly, asking how people are doing, bringing food to sick people. And not just within their own class but to everyone in the village. I think a lot of times people associate good etiquette with the upper class being snobbery because they're just jealous. Good etiquette was there to help people deal with social situations and I wish we had preserved more of that etiquette in society nowadays.

Isn't etiquette as often about avoiding embarrassment for yourself and maintaining or improving your status as it is about making others feel comfortable?

We were dining at a nice restaurant in the city with another couple, and my 5 year old daughter spilled her water glass. The waiter was there in two seconds with a new table cloth, but he won this mother’s heart when he accidentally - on purpose “spilled” a bit of something before he changed it out and told my daughter it was Ok - see, he even did it sometimes.

Yes! I’ve always understand that manners are for making other people comfortable-it’s an act of service to the people around you to have good manners. Not to be snobby or superior, but to ensure everyone feels comfortable and welcome.

I heard an etiquette expert explicitly explain that being tactful and making sure everybody is comfortable and nobody is embarrassed is always more important than the strict etiquette rules.

This act toward your daughter just...just melted my heart Especially now, kindness is the most precious thing 💖

@@kimberlywoodbury1739 that is so wholesome.

Well many etiquette coaches really do not get it and are assholes.

Exactly. A truly classy person introduces her gardener to a visiting friend exactly the same way she would royalty. Sometimes the way people treat their staff is more telling than the way they treat their peers.

I WOULD SAY, IN A CASE LIKE THIS, ONE WOULD, SLIP THIER CUSTOMS TO MAKE THE GUEST FEEL WELCOME. SO THEY ‘SHOT’ A FLUTE… WELL, TAKE THE SHOT, AND OFFER A ‘PROPER’ DRINK THEY CLEARLY WANT. POUR THEM A SCOTCH. DON’T FORGET, IT’S ALL BASED ON POLITENESS, HOWEVER, EVENTS ARE MEANT TO BE FUN. SO SOMETIMES SLIPPING A RULE, WILL MAKE SOMEONE FEEL WELCOME, INCLUDED THEREFORE BEING THE CORRECT ETIQUETTE. ‘OVER DEMONSTRATING’ THE CORRECT ETQ WOULD MAKE THEM FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AS MUCH AS LETTING THEM KNOW, AS THAT ACTION ALSO LETS THEM KNOW. I WAS IN SUCH A RUCH THE OTHER NIGHT, ARRIVED LATE, AND FORGOT TO PUT MY NAPKIN DOWN PROPERLY. NO ONE CARED. OH, ALWAYS REMEMBER, A HOLIER THAN THOU ATTITUDE IS NEVER PROPER ETQ. EXCEPT, WHEN ONE MUST RETURN A FORMALLY SPOKEN INSULT. THE CORRECT ATTITUDE IN A REBUKE IS ESSENTIAL 😂😊

Bless her, I felt better while reading this.

Yeah, I think they portrayed this very well in _Princess Diaries_ I adored it when the staff would tell Mia "It happens all the time" while smiling at her warmly.

That's very good advice! Thank you for sharing. I'm going to take that with me always :>

Agreed. Many aspects of etiquette and genteel manners are just good sense and inclusion.

Customer service trained me into that one, and I still do it with groups to this day. Especially if I know or suspect that some of the people I'm chatting with are too polite to just excitedly interrupt like me and most of my friends will do in casual conversation with each other. xD

My grandmother used to have me read etiquette books when I would spend summers with her. To this day I'll set tables a specific way and I eat a specific way when I sit down for formal dinners 🤣 (Thanksgiving etc). My ex fiance whispered in my ear at dinner for me to relax the first time I met his dad and step mom, and I said "I can't, it's habit" lol. His step mom commented on my proper posture and etiquette lolololol, it's so embarrassing 🤣

I've seen the gloves removed to shake hands a lot on German WWII flicks

I was always told that the lips shouldn’t actually touch the hand, imagine how gross it would be to get someone’s saliva on your hand 🤣 they get it right in the Spanish series ‘Gran Hotel’

And the woman is the one to initiate contact, not the man

some Ettiquette rules just seem weird

Probably depends on timeperiod too

KZfaq can tell you which part of any video is "Most Replayed" and it made me laugh to see it was the P&P clip that viewers of this video kept rewatching lol

It's part of why he's a fan favorite. He's such an earnest man, eager to show what he can do, proud of how well the Downton staff pulled off that dinner, but is socially awkward. He blossoms as a teacher, both in helping Daisy and working at the village school.

I have seen behind the scenes shows for DA. The actors have high respect for their etiquette coach. He is reputed to be fierce!😁

I was Just going to say the same thing!😁

Doesn't matter, it was not correct!

It was all part of the train wreck that was that terrible movie. Princess Margaret would have loved that to actually happen. She hated when events went perfectly. Like the footman who spilled the cream on Edward VII when he was Prince of Wales. Talk about good manners. He said, "My good man I am not a strawberry," and laughed. The best was a Dame Helen Greville who hosted fabulous parties at her country house. She had a butler who was a drinker and one night she passed him a note during an important dinner party she have having that said "You are clearly very drunk, leave immediately." He gave it to one of her guests. Sometimes the servants did seize the upper hand.

Your lucky... In my country, such thing do not exist unless you are rich enough to get a class...

I love this suggestion of pointing out appropriate etiquette in modern movies.

I agree, and I would also like to ask if there is such a thing as “ladylike” behavior in this day and age, as we saw it to prevalently in this video throughout the time periods.

@@sarafinasummers7863 cleaning your fingers (but not your hands). It's just water in the bowl, maybe lemony water.

Sounds cool. I would like to visit a few lessens like this, even though I'm not a girl. But i thing it would be useful for me

Also depends on the jam, if it is slightly runny it is better to put the cream first then the jam for obvious reasons, no matter which county you are in (told to me by a Cornishwoman years ago).

@@ABC1701A that's interesting, I wonder if jams made in Devon tend to be made runnier than jams made in Cornwall which may reflect the tradition

@@LeavesofLilac Could be, certainly explain a lot.

Is it the same if you are having butter instead of cream? WHAT ARE THE RULES?!?!?!?!

@@theguywhoisaustralian1465 But if you can have clotted cream who'd want butter? 😄

The whole series seems to be some kind of mock to the period drama. Too feminist for me. I know they wanted to portray women as strong and independent, but the total series seems to be made by some one who has no idea.

@@Boopierthanmost Lol I don’t think they were trying to be period accurate. The “too feminist for me” is very telling of yourself though.

@@Boopierthanmost it’s a drama series, ofc it’s not going to be accurate and also “too feminist for me” ??? Women finally standing up for themselves especially during that time is too much for u?

@@Boopierthanmost "too feminist for me" my brother in christ what does that mean

@@Boopierthanmost not to oblierate you too much, as others already have, but (as someone aho doesn't even watch the show) it's historical fantasy, not historical fiction. i dont know why you have your panties in a wad.

Are you perhaps referring to the old: cut steak into small pieces with knife in right hand, fork in left, then put knife down, transfer fork to right hand to eat and shuffle the food around the plate, like a sad clown, till it gets on the fork? LOL!

It gets me every single time! I always get butterflies.

I love it so much, their first touch...

I gotta call out the claim that "the hand" was Matthew MacFayden's "natural reaction" like it was some kind of spontaneous bit of physical acting - "the hand" is a dedicated shot where the camera is focused tight on his hand - why would the camera be focused on his hand? Even the idea that maybe he flexed his hand at the end of the take where he helped Keira up, and the director noticed it, and then added the hand-flex into the shooting schedule, seems pretty unlikely (given the nature of schedules). "The hand" is a planned shot, set up and done as a specific take. Still hot tho.

Woah, that truly is scandalous! But why would they send out that message though? Are they expected to swing partners?!

@@joannachen76 I don't know if the pinky being used as a sign of STDs is true but courtiers were the swingers of their day. So I guess it was pragmatic to avoid the spread of diseases.

Lmao why did we get rid this? this should be common practice in unis

I doubt anyone would willingly admit that

That's actually an English rumour, and is not true.

I agree, for someone who studied etiquette (in this day and age) to be so unpretentious and (seemingly at least) so relaxed/chilled, easygoing, friendly & warm seems unusual, or at least not stereotypical... With the exception of the uppermost-upper class, etiquette (beyond the usual, general good manners), does not play much of a role at all in society today, let alone the highly important one it used to, so people who decide to study it are often considered to be very snobby. OR, perhaps more accurately, WANTING to be very snobby - Wanting to learn it so that they can utilise it and feel superior to the people around them making 'social blunders' left & right - Meaning they would stereotypically be cold and superior (acting) rather than friendly and relaxed. I also agree that I very much enjoyed this video. I found it to be both informative and entertaining. I greatly enjoyed the little bits of backstory and explanations that were included; backstory such as the original Asian tea cups being the reason we hold tea cups as we do (or should at least), as well as the reason the little finger used to be held up and why it shouldn't be today. And explanations like the lack of the usual gloves making what would normally be polite & correct/appropriate into startling & risqué... I would love it if she made a video with some of the more common &/OR more obscure etiquette and the reasoning, backstory, etc behind how/why it came to be a part of manners/etiquette, as well as how/why it has altered over the years until what we have today. And finally, though it has no relevance, I'm Australian too. LOL. Oh, as an added postscript, I wasn't trying to insult people who learn etiquette, I was just talking about how they're typically viewed, whether it's fair or not, whether it's correct or not. Or, more accurately, I KNOW that it's both correct & fair in some cases, just as I KNOW it's both COMPLETELY incorrect & COMPLETELY unfair in others. Anyway, thanks for the video and for your comment Bellè. Cheers, Guy

Gorgeous is a stretch but she seems nice

It's a pity she has such an annoying prescence. Her vouce is so unpleasant on the ears. Not accent I might add but quality of voice.

Of course, one's opinion is better expressed with accurate spelling 😀

Honestly found this as interesting as the mob boss and casino cheats ones I've been watching 😂

Thanks I'll be sure to look her up. I like her relaxed style of communication

Pretty much everything about bridgerton is historically inaccurate so this isn't a surprise

Between the awful clothing, the cultural appropriation and the terrible writing, I wouldn't know where to start with the mess that is that britdgerton thing ...

@@hi-ve1cw It’s not supposed to be historically accurate. Try to have some fun

@@hi-ve1cw They weren't actually intending to go for historical accuracy, it's not a classical period drama in that sense.

@@trashboat163 what's the point of making a drama set during a historical period if they get nearly everything about that historical period wrong lol. They should've either set the drama in the modern world or made it an actual fantasy with magic and stuff, not a weird historical drama without any history lol

The point was that she was the only woman there.

In the same vein, when her relation with her husband was still distant, Marie-Antoinette tried to take an interest in hunting, a hobby of his, to try to get closer to him, show that she has interest in what he likes. There even is a painting of her hunting.

I don’t think the presenter here is quite correct. It wasn’t super common but it also wasn’t prohibited. Good article easily found via googling found a few sources to support this. Agree with the commenter that more likely the issue in the bridgerton scene was that she was the only woman.

Marla absolutely nails this scene. 🤣

That one girl looked like she was doing some sort of german greeting ;)

Funnily enough etiquette does the exact opposite. It makes me uncomfortable and nervous.

@@AWlpsSHOW36 it just means that you care enough about other people that you won't chew with your mouth open, or having them listen to you smack and chew on your food. I've seen plenty of times where a little etiquette would've gone a long way

It's a HUGE pain in the butt though, there are so many things you have to watch out for when you're interacting with other people, it can make socializing rather painful.

A huge number of languages have formal and informal speech, that's not unique to korea

@@hi-ve1cw some cultures are more strict than others though. For example, russian has formal and informal speech but it's more of how to divide when you are speaking to your superiors vs. when you are speaking to your buddies. In other cultures and languages such as korean or japanese, the etiquette is more strictly enforced and there are more faux pas that you can make.

I grew up in a pretty traditional family, and to this day I don't know the names of any of my aunts or uncles, much less my grandparents. When I learned my parents proper names it was for legal purposes lol

@@hi-ve1cw Korean has SEVEN freaking levels of formality, not just formal and informal. And nuances within those. It's a real pain trying to learn it. But a beautiful language nevertheless, so harmonious and made for love songs.

Isn’t the queen also queen of Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Antigua and Barbuda, The Bahamas, Belize, Grenada, Jamaica, Papua New Guinea, Saint Lucia, Solomon Islands, St Kitts and Nevis, and St Vincent and the Grenadines?

​@@jade_ehx600 Yes

@@jade_ehx600 But for some reason people in the US have a habit of ''forgetting'' that Queen Elizabeth of Canada actually exists. Odd given Canada is their neighbour.

@@TSV805 Canada is your neighbour, many of you constantly bring up your failed invasion attempt on Canada in 1812 so you definitely don't forget Canada exists and many of you like to claim that you beat Canada and only withdrew out of the goodness of your hearts (dodgy education there but still). Either way, ignoring Queen Elizabeth of Canada and refusing to acknowledge she exists is the same as Canada deciding that the President of the US doesn't exist and totally ignoring him.

@@TSV805 and with that the us also forgot how to be respectful towards other countries lol

It was incredibly rare for women to hunt on horseback because in order to safely hunt, they'd need to wear mens' clothing and ride astride which was unladylike. The only people that could get away with it were queens and prostitutes. At the time, long dresses and riding side saddle were the norm, but because it was before the invention of the leaping head, it was really easy to fall off, so women were at a severe disadvantage even if they bothered/were allowed to go out and hunt with the men.

@@thetrashmaster1352 Which era. The modern side saddle had been invented by then and it is extremely hard to fall off when riding side saddle. My daughter claims it is far safer than riding astride (she will only ride side saddle if it's at all possible) and ladies going hunting in Regency times was common.

@@ABC1701A modern side saddle, and saddles in general, were invented in the 1830’s. The regency era ended in 1820.

She was holding the gun wrong, why on earth would you put the rifle over your shoulder like that.

@@NotMykl My guess, because it looks good on the telly. Can't think of any other reason and she wouldn't have been shooting in period either, although she may have known how to use a pistol. Certainly Georgette Heyer - who did do her research before writing her books - had at least one character able to shoot accurately with a pistol because she had an unusual upbringing and had travelled in dangerous regions over the years (Grand Sophy, probably my favourite of her books). But none went our shooting for birds, which I'm guessing is what this scene involved. I haven't seen the series, not of any interest to me, and don't intend watching it anyway but I can't see why else she would be mishandling a weapon in that way unless she thinks she's actually in the USAmerican wild west. Not only that but her clothing looks to be odd for the outdoor action as well.

That's entirely what it is. It's carefully designed to preserve everyone's dignity.

A lot can change in a span of a decade,more so in 50 years...

I watched it as a pre-teen and loved it. It reflected the time period of my grandparents although they were a little younger than these women at this time so it definitely seemed like a completely different world.

that movie is one of my all time favourite sports movies and I love that it would've actually have been a thing when my grandpa was alive

Except she isn't an aristocrat, she is the ex-wife of a younger stepson of a Duchess

No way...more clients!

Which was entirely the point. People were expected to know their place.

@@HO-bndk I live in a country, where we call our teachers, co-workers and bosses by their first names. We had strict etiquette until the 70's, where the prime minister himself asked his co-workers to drop them, and so did the entire nation eventually.

I don't know what an actual school of etiquette would say, but I was taught that you should never bring it up. Either have only a bite, pretend to eat it, or just wait until the next course. Typically, you would at least try something, even if you've never had it or it doesn't look appetizing to you. When you're having a dinner with multiple courses, you might not eat all of everything anyway, so you can just drink and talk in the meantime. It used to be that the plates would be removed and the next course brought in either by indication/planning of the host or when the most important person at the table had finished eating, but now I think it's more of a timed thing. You would indicate that you're done eating by how you place your silverware on the plate, so the staff would know you've finished. It's worthy to note that a good host should always plan their menu to be mindful of what their guests would like to eat, taking into account allergies and dietary restrictions.

@@liv97497 Not enough hosts even bother to ask if a guest has allergies or restrictions. I remember the first time I asked people to let me know if they had any allergies and they were flabbergasted because nobody had ever had the consideration to find out in advance so an alternative could be worked out.

No passing - it would be a little rude, and you would be sitting there with no food in front of you, which would mean that any other plates (down to the charger) would have to be removed for that course and replaced for the next. Because 🙀that anyone should have an empty plate in front of them. It would be pretty embarrassing for you. You are, however, allowed to shove a small portion under the lettuce if there is any on the plate, and if it’s in your mouth before you realize it’s revolting, you can do the fake wipe your lips spit it in the napkin. Personally, I think it’s bad etiquette to serve escargot at a formal dinner, because snails, but also because it’s bound to make some of your guests uncomfortable - the plate with special dents for the snails, the snail shells with those silly tongs that never get a good grip on the shell, digging the snail out. Plus the snail has already been removed, cleaned, seasoned and put back in the shell. If you have to hide it after you make it… it would be like putting the top back on a raw oyster.

Thank you all! I'm not a picky eater, but there are a few things (olives, marzipan and seafood - including snails and frog legs) that just activate my gag reflex. I would be horrified if the hosts thought I was gagging because of the quality of their food!

I’m not proper but I would be impressed with anyone that practices proper etiquette, it’s not stuck-up it’s great.

They aren't.

I agree.