when I have conversations with people, even "friends" I feel like I have to fill the gaps of silence so I'll rack my brain with things to say next and end up interrupting the other person. Then I start to think they think I'm rude or arrogant or something else. Then after that conversation is over I'll think about that for years after wards.

The problem I seem to have is that my negative thinking seems to be true, like 'this conversation is going poorly' and it actually is.

I have social anxiety and have always been shy. I am 40 and I can't believe I have not overcome that. However, I have realized that practice makes better. We moved to a new neighborhood and because of the pandemic, my kid cannot attend school. To make matters worse, she is an only child so she has no kids to play with. I would hear kids playing 3 houses down. One day I decided to do something about the fact that my kid was not socializing with kids. Against my nature, I decided to go walk and so she could approach those kids. GLADLY, my kid is not shy like me but outgoing like my husband. I did talk to the moms but I was feeling SO uncomfortable because of my shyness. I could feel blushing and sweating from talking and the 3 moms looking at me while talking. They always get together on the street these days so that the kids can socialize. I am not lying, my stomach would hurt just thinking that the next day I would have to socialize again with them. I watched some videos here and wrote down some important points that really helped. The one that helped me the most was, "Get out of your head" so I did not pay attention to my head telling me "they will think you are weird, you are shy, you are boring" and all I did was focus on the conversation. What a big difference. But the most important thing that made it easier for me was "No, I am doing this for my daughter and for her I would do anything, so get up your ass and go out and talk to those people while she plays!" Guess what? I actually enjoyed it! I began to feel more comfortable and had a great time! I am still nervous thinking about going out and socialize with them but, now I know that it is not up to them to make me feel comfortable, it is up to me!

It's so accurate when you said social anxiety is mostly a fear of evaluation at its core. If you're able to process where that fear is coming from, you're able to efficiently process social anxiety. Thanks Dr! Learned a lot from this!

Feeling anxious equals looking anxious. That's been in my head for a while. I have so many of these symptoms.

This was super informative and well said. We need more of this from this doctor for social anxiety specially

Please god cure us

I'm a cognitive therapist working with anxiety disorders. Thank you for this video! It's a very concise resource for me as I consider my clients with SAD vs GAD.

I am student of clinical psychology and watch these videos to enhance my learning and exposure to experts experience. This sort of learning is really enjoyable. Thank You Dr. Vince Greenwood.

i would love to say that this video is so elaborative and helpful as well i really would love to watch more and more of this i hope more will come in this future from this channel and the amazing professor , dr vince greenwood

Squirrel at 7:03 :)

I do have very severe social anxiety! I’ve read some people commenting here that they have a kid and have their own house and this and that; if that is the case, believe me, you DO NOT have social anxiety, you’re just a bit awkward that’s all.

This is extremely helpful for anxious people like me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I have watched so many videos about therapies but yours is the only one I’ve seen that does not make me feel more anxious watching people explaining about anxiety itself 😅, thanks to your calm presence and very followable pace when you talk, makes my monkey brain like me feel like I can grasp the ideas and understand through a stream of infos. Thank you again

Thanks for the video Vince! I like how you broke down the differences between being more shy as opposed to having more severe symptoms 🙌

There is nothing in life as planned. We are making a living purely out of chances. As a socially anxious person I'm only trying to collect pieces and making more spaces for myself because the world itself isn't suitable on my demands. It's scary and in an order irrationally. That's the critical point of this anxiety problem. I'm getting anxious by every piece of the world. That makes me behave like I have to understand every inch of it and think very carefully before taking any action about it. If I don't do this it will only ruin everything about me. That's how I feel about this.

My son during his late teen years had anxiety around eating in public. He subsequently became a chef. I am not sure what were the connections .

"The mission of the program is not to make one immune from anxiety but to give one the tools to deal with it." - and this is my biggest issue. So I will be able to push myself into situations I want to be in but I will still be anxious. Sure I will be less anxious but anxious nonetheless, which is the exact reason why I don't want to be in those situations. If the anxiety will not go away and manifest itself only sporadically, I'm afraid I will have to choose a more, permanent, solution.

my whole body contracts in social situations or any circumstance involving anyone - extreme nausea, fever, headache, sweating sensation throughout body, my throat constricts, I freeze, etc, become extremely rigid or/and erratic (better know) after psychopathic abuse. Severe dissociation. Very difficult. Gaslighting sent me to a mental institution. CPTSD.

I think it would be helpful to consider a different approach. First off social anxiety starts because the person is already hyper-aware of their social situation. It is a matter of seeing the world with different levels of detail. People with social anxiety (at least some forms of it) already see their social situation with far more detail than is necessary for them to function in social situations. In fact you could consider such hyper focus to be detrimental to their socialization with others. As such it seems to be key to distract from this hyper focus and shift the focus away without entirely ignoring the topic. To address this I would consider directing their attention towards creative and solitary activities. This is the first step. It will engage their mind with other topics not related to their social situation. Get them to first go long enough to develop the habit of engaged in a creative activity where their thoughts seldom address social matters. At least while they are in their creative zone. This has the added benefit of develop skills and abilities that have social currency for latter use. If they already have a talent that they quite enjoy then focus on doing that talent while avoiding any thoughts of a social nature. The second step is to involve 1 other person who is also interested in the same type of creative activity. At this point it will be important to begin developing a common goal and to define complimentary roles that each will play while they work together. They should already be familiar with the role they take on as is they are already familiar with the entirety of the creative work. Have them work together on and off until they can work in that situation without giving consideration to social matters. Resolve conflicts equitably and do this until they can handle conflict without thinking about the social implications or flaws that may have contributed to the conflict. They should think only of the logistics of resolving the conflict itself and returning attention back towards the creative goal. Once this has normalized scale slowly until the person has a base that is separate from the rest of their community. 5 people at most. 3 is just fine. The best outcome I would think is 3 friends and a family. Once this inner circle is established social consequences outside their base should be less important and thus less impactful and less anxiety. With this inner circle in place approaching people outside their group should be less risky since they always have their inner circle to fall back on. I've had the thought that social anxiety (at least some variants of it) is a nesting instinct that is found to predispose some people to a particular pair bonding type of behavior. Social anxiety is more common among Scandinavians or people of that decent. People in that region of the world often find relief after bonding with a person and getting away from other people. Which is why I had the thought that it might be related to a genetic predisposition to nest. And also the reason I believe the best outcome would come from 3 friends and a family. Such nesting behavior is not without its risks though. Without the social norms of broader society a person can be very vulnerable to abuse if things go wrong and will not be particularly open to outside interference. This adds to the importance of the individual to sort out morals, to be a moral person and to find a moral person to bond with. Just some thoughts though. Nothing near any sort of clinical study.

good work thank you so very much

Thank you for sharing this video, I feel it describes my experiences so well and helps me put my difficulties into some perspective... in group contexts where I am expected to speak, A frequent fear of mine is that I am going mad and will make a fool of myself ... : if possible, I would appreciate some advice / video resources about this particularly painful experience, its meaning as well as how to manage it... Thank you again for your video, much appreciated. 🙏

Great informative video! Thank you!

My whole body shaked trembles

Thank you so much for this. ♥️♥️♥️

I would avoid anyone that tries to sell a quick and easy method sold to you by anyone. I've been working on my anxiety for years and I've seen slow but meaningfull progress. Medication and "quick" things often dont work when it comes to SA.

Thank you

I really wish that people who talk about social anxiety could talk about helping mild cases which are still debilitating to the individual. They only refer to extreme cases. You can still have mild anxiety in social situations and still result with lack of friends and meaningful relationships, which cause depression.

I was able to overcome my social anxiety by starting a KZfaq channel about my journey in personal development

Painfully self conscious - AMEN to that.

I have myself a concussion after a failed suicide. I also have ptsd. No relation ship. They thpught i was retarded when I was going and had to go to a clinic. I found the report in the attack. I'm 22 now. The psychologist said I had very low self esteem. This was when i was 6 years old

This is so painful

Symptoms can be visible, more than once i have been asked why i was shacking so much. You forgot one of the downsides include lower life span since the constant adrenaline overworks the heart.

He is the best of all bests

But my face does turn beat red. They even call me off on it😔

Isn't it important to consider the whole person in their situation before giving advice or offereing them observations of the situation they are in? When a person with social anxiety is for real being shamed and discounted about their desire to remain there in a hands on learning practicum at the same time in another setting during different days in the week they are being shamed for the same kind of signs and symptoms in a part time job how does that person with social anxiety disorder cope with it when trying to learn how to use machinery there in that practicum while they have dislexia which requires a bit longer to learn those hands on tasks too? For example when working in a shoe store being confronted by a just hired on manager who shames the clerk for their profuse sweating and red face for the third time on their shift already. When going through a situation like that when having to cope with a high risk air quality at the same time wouldn't that be too much for anyone with social anxiety, dislexia and a preexisting undiagnosed lung condition? In a situation like that any underlying health problems predisposing a person to social anxiety needs to be addressed one at a time starting with investigating if they have a lung condition.

A very good video Doc Do you offer online CBT?

❤️❤️

I've barely gone to parties because I think I look really stupid when I'm dancing, even in my best friend wedding I did not dance although I was the best man. I hate this! :(

This is probably the most serious anxiety disorder

Can you overcome with training your mindset?

It is no false equivalency that looking nervous in an objectively innocuous and non threatening situation = looking foolish. It IS foolish, that is the entire reason we call it a disorder, why others on the street recognise it, why so many of us are so distressed. If he means that is not a permanent state (being foolish forever), well, it kind of is and becomes so if every interaction results in extreme and noticeable upset on the part of the socially anxious patient

Can i cure myself with this video

Lost family over it. No shrink would call and explain my work on it. In otherwords they all just didn't care doctors make you take it all day then cut you off. They should let you take it when your up in front of people, or unfamiliar groups. That's all. Or first interviews , first days, etc. My doctor wouldn't give me a calmer. cause i wouldnt take it on ....his time table.....which is your addictive problem put on us. So, give it...As Needed. The idea is to Give a sence of control. Not keep it going in treatment. See: chattled persons..Blacks Law, 4th edition.

Jesus loves you❤️, in the Bible in Matthew 11:28-30 is written the words of Jesus; Come to me all you who weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Those are the words of Jesus. Also in the Bible is written in the books of Acts 16:31; Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household. God loves you, you can go through everything with the help of Jesus, have a good day.

He doesn't mention how diet can affect anxiety..

constantly ridiculeing would be good for starting it off then

how do you do this ? u want money !!

What if I have all three types of SAD😅

bee hiveour honey collecters i know your game bobsqaush aint ya chavie

you mate are un happly married so ...... 🤣

or div horsed from your tackle 🤣

funny how you will not show your face to me

CAL