Missed a few Two women back on Krieg are talking. One turns to the other, "So how did you meet your husband?" "It was love at first sight. I saw him sitting there, seductively sharpening his shovel. So I walked up to him and asked if I could see his face." "What did he say?" "He said, 'The gasmask stays on'." She took a deep shuddering breath, "And indeed... it ALWAYS stays on." The first one nodded, "Ah. My husband was a bit more direct. He walked up to me and said, 'My desire to procreate with you is only second to my desire to sacrifice for the god emperor'." "My... what a charmer!" "He's quite the catch. I got lucky with that one." ---------- “Hey.” “Yeah?” “You ever wonder why we’re here?” “That’s one of life’s great mysteries, isn’t it? Why are we here? Are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, a trick of chance, and the vitae wombs? Or did the Emperor really choose us to be here, with a plan for us and all? I dunno man, but it keeps me up at night.” "..." "What?" "I meant why are we here, in this trench and not charging across no-man's land?” ---------- A Commissar, returning from battle, went to the regimental headquarters to report, "I have bad news." The officer looked to the Commissar, "What is it, sah?" "The company I was with stumbled into a minefield, only a handful of them survived to make it to the other side." "Ah. So the minefield is cleared. What's the bad news?" The commissar blinked, "Are you not listening? Do you not know how many men we just lost in that assault?" The commander replied, "Did we take the objective?" "Uhhh... no?" "Then clearly not enough." The commander turned to the nearest radio operator, "Send in the next wave." ---------- "Shovels are the quintessence of civilization. "With a shovel, you can dig a hole just deep enough to hide yourself. Or if you gather a bunch of people with them, you can dig a fine trench. If you change your viewpoint a little, you can even dig a tunnel. You can smash a sturdy enemy trench with mining tactics." "A shovel is a good friend to any and every type of soldier. And a shovel is the best gear for a close-quarters fight in a trench. Longer than a bayonet, simpler to handle than a rifle, sturdier than any other tool. Not only that, but they are extremely cheap and easy to make, so they're perfect for mass production." "This is it. The ideal piece of equipment. This is the point humanity was meant to reach. Civilization has developed the shovel as its implement. Above all, it doesn't rely on fancy tricks, so it's optimal for stealth kills. With a shovel, it's possible to educate numbskulls who are dependent on scanning looking for electronic emissions, like from a powered lasgun - Klang! It's an indispensable item, an excellent general-purpose tool for any situation." "The shovel is truly an implement born of civilization. Orks do not use shovels, instead giving them to their servant sub-species to use. The Tyrranids do not use shovels, having to evolve special creatures to burrow. The Eldar and the Tau have both considered themselves to have evolved beyond shovels." "The fact that humans are the only species that uses shovels properly shows how much the Omnisiah loves us." - Excerpt from "The Care and Feeding of Your Shovel" The number one seller on Krieg's top ten book list for the past three hundred years. ---------- Deathkorps soldier: "I would like to apply for officer school" Guy behind desk, "Qualifications?" Deathkorps soldier, "Surviving 3 Campaigns" Guy behind desk, "Dear god, why haven't you been promoted already???" ... What do you call a Krieg's guardsman who survived a bayonet charge? Sir What do you say TO a Krieg's guardsman who survived a bayonet charge? Better luck next time ---------- Your average Krieg's guardsman troop transport "Are we dying for the Emperor yet?" "No." "Are we dying for the Emperor yet?" "No!" "Are we dying for the Emperor yet?" "NO!" "What about now?" "No!" "Can we die for the Emperor NOW?" "I swear by the God-Emperor's boney butt if you ask that one more time and I WILL turn this transport around and you'll all be on guard duty at the Officer's Club for the rest of the war!" *silence* *One Krieg guardsman starts to sharpen his shovel with malicious intent* "Alright! THAT! IS! IT!" ---------- The Ork Warboss Murder-Murder McMurder peered at the planet of Krieg from the bridge of his Rok, The Big Rok, "Ehhh... let's go find a different world to plunder." His second in command looked shocked, "Whut you mean? This is KRIEG! I bet we gonna have a rot good fight!" he pointed, "These nut jobbers nuked their own planet just to have a fair fight! I dunno any ork that crazy." Captain Murder-Murder McMurder squinted at his second, "Ah you nuts? We'll either lose and all get killed, or worse, we win." "Why dat worse, boss?" Murder-Murder McMurder rolled his eyes, "We wipe out da planet of Krieg and that's about one-third of da hummies in the galaxy that are actually willing to fight in melee! No Ork in the galaxy would ever forgive us!" He turned back to the main view screen, gazing wistfully at the distant orb that was the world of Krieg. "We'll be 'unted 'til da end of days." ---------- The Krieg officer was just informed of Heretics being spotted among the enemy. He turned to his assistant and said, "Bring me my shovel." The assistant nodded and turned to leave, but before he could, the Commander grabbed him by the shoulder, stopping him. The assistant turned back, looking puzzled. The commander leaned in close, his gas mask eclipsing everything else in the room from the assistant's sight. The command spoke in a deep voice, heavy with implication. "The HEAVY shovel."

'' This Inquisitor ALSO says that you are a heretic ! '' *smash the Inquisitor on the heretic repeatedly *

Berserk flashback.

Honestly I would put the blame for all of it more so on a certain deacon. Didn't he manipulate and groom the cardinal for this to happen?

​@@jacthing1 Watch this series and find out 😂

I think sending in the crazed berserker would have been the better solution. I don't think any crazed mob would be able to stop a Eversor Assassin.

[Queues up Vengaboys instrumental on a loop] kzfaq.info/get/bejne/Y9R5fcd505eqdnk.html

Yes, please do. They’re as far as I’m concerned an integral part of the siege of vraks series.

Yes, that would be really cool

I remember reading some of those. They were really good. You should repost them at least.

*Caldari Nationalism Rises* . . . . wait, wrong setting.

And why not? It's quite the epic.

To be fair, it took him longer to make a remaster of a succesful product than some triple A studios...

War of the Beast: *exists* Arch: No you do not.

@@vadandrumist1670 End Times: exists Arch: Nope.

Adeptus munitorum: "You have requested HOW many artillery rounds?" General Zueltke: "yes"

Some of the sisters are saved at the end of the siege.

The video is private, but on the playlist. No one said anything at first, cuz they didn't want him to take it down, after he realized we could view it through the playlist. People are smart.... sometimes I already watched now though, so I don't mind/

The War for Badab series Arch did is as good, if not better, than this series.

The Siege of Helsreach would be awesome.

Yeah the war for badab was equally as good.

More like 5 years.

@@AAhmou It's between 4 and 5 years since this series came out. Either way, it's not a long time to be pining for the past.

Or Taros. Or Anphelion. Or Kastorel-Novem...

@@ivanivanovic5586 Yeah, they are kinda ancient now and low quality while Vraks has very good quality.

@@biska131 I meant the series he never covered yet(taros campaign, anphelion project and raid on kastorel-novem), would be great given arch's unique style. As for armageddon, that one is indeed in sore need of remaster way more than vraks, tbh.

I mean Isn't there like not much written lore about them? And they are kinda old part of lore, dont they? Any of creators that I know didn't made video about them. It is mostly Veaks, Armageddon, Badab because there is much high quality source text. Easy job.

@@biska131 True, that's why we could use them be covered. While true about the lore being bit old, for some reason taros and anphelion (alongside vraks itself) did receive a second edition.

If they spend money on a good author. So never again.

Youd think they would spring for a jump pack or you know, rope. Instead of trying to walk out of a facility that you just put into lockdown.

He would only draw more attention and might get shot down