If he actually said that, can we PLEASE actually do it?! Whom do I contact about this?

Please invite me for the send off

@@cannibalculture4499 if we could enforce anything he said, I'd be on it already...

Yes, yes, yeeeessss

@@cannibalculture4499 I checked Snopes and it's unverifiable... But I think that sounds exactly like something he'd say.

This is gold👌

Hahahahahaha! Good one!

Alasdair Blackmore I have learned words over the past four years I’ve never heard before. Every text is a Gem. But seriously, that’s a clever burn.

He ain't worth that much...🤭

This might be cleverer if it actually made sense as a pun. However, in the UK, as everywhere else, there is no such thing as “one pence”. It’s “one penny”, tuppence, thruppence, etc.

America needs a border wall.... ....but on the northern side. If I have to go broke because of medical bills, all the other Americans should keep their poor broke asses here too.

As a Canadian, I'm not quite that scared yet, but the American response is very concerning. Canada seems well prepared, though, especially compared to the US. www.cbc.ca/news/politics/coronavirus-covid19-tam-pandemic-preparations-1.5480034?cmp=rss

is the Canadian education system really that bad?

Jenny Av Canadians should not have to die for this. America kind of has it coming, to be honest.

Jenny Av he isn’t in charge omg liberals watch something besides late night tv for your news. It’s a loose loose for the Trump whitehouse with this because the media won’t let him win. Presidents in the past have announced a single speaker to take charge for disease outbreaks in the past that in not uncommon Obama did the same. If trump has lots of low level workers leaking information or making statements that do not line up with each of other exactly or counteract each other in anyway they will be told they are unorganized and not prepared. Pence isn’t making medical decisions he is just the one voice that will address the public over this issue to minimize confusion and so people don’t hear two things but his information will come from the cdc and Medicaid professionals working in government agencies. The media doesn’t care either way just want a negative look for trump.

"please for the love of God don't sue us"

@Darth Wheezius OXO Coke! Yum😂😂

@Diego Maradonna A woman sued... I think it was McDonalds or some other fast food place because her coffee burnt her when she spilt it. That is the US.

@@Krytern Actually said woman spilt her coffe while sitting in the passangeres seat and the car stood still. She openly admitted that the spill where her own fault, but the damage where 3rd degree brun which nearly took her life. www.caoc.org/?pg=facts

@@Krytern People are really misinformed about that lawsuit. She was a 79 year old grandma in her grandson's parked car, when the 190° scalding coffee dumped in her lap. They were unable to get her clothes off fast enough, so she suffered excruciating 3rd degree burns to her inner thighs and groin, required multiple skin grafts. She only wanted her medical bills covered and McDonalds, being the huge corporation they are, fought it. There were 700 cases of people being severely burned by their coffee before this, yet nothing was done about it. She never did get even close to all the money that was "awarded" -- the amount was drastically reduced. It would've been super horrific for anyone to live through, let alone an almost 80 year old grandma. Imagine having to have multiple skin grafts to your inner thighs and groin, especially at that age. But McDonalds was able to spin it as if she were just some irresponsible idiot, driving around with merely "hot" coffee in her lap. segarlaw.com/blog/myths-and-facts-of-the-mcdonalds-hot-coffee-case/

jdax21 very true!

jdax21 and don’t forget the great Randy Rainbow ! Makes me shoot beef bouillon out my nose

There are worse ways to go, and we all gotta go sometime.

Wouldn't he need to be funny for that to be true?

@@slogiraffe That's right. Colbert tells it like it is, and Randy Rainbow sings it like it is. We're lucky to have them. It's weird, though, that comedians are now the voices of reason. Good times.

MOMOVA It’s so odd that trump thinks Coronavirus is related to the weather. If it was based on temperature, coronavirus wouldn’t be spreading primarily through warm and temperate areas. Wuhan, the center of the outbreak in China, is 60-70 F, Iran is 60 F, Singapore is 80 F, Milan and Venice are 60 F, 55-60 F in South Korea, 75-80 F in Australia. Hell, even in the US the recent cases have been cropping up in warm or temperate regions like California and Washington.

Just one problem there, K J. You said "trump thinks". Not bloody likely.

@@princessaria He was talking about seasonality of viral illness like the flu. You do realize there are flu seasons in the tropics? You do realize their is a flu season in places like Southern California which has basically the same weather every day? Geezuz... you don't. It's not just temperature it's humidity that contributes to proliferation. NORTHERN California and Washington... during the winter.. are cold and wet dummy. Plus people in those regions didn't catch it from other people from that area. The people they think might have it were in China, or were in contact with people who were in China. Nobody knows how the lady in California got it. Being wrong is one thing. Being an arrogant person in your wrong assertion makes you stupid. Don't be stupid KJ. That's a choice.

@@princessaria I suspect Trump is like so many people who really believe that it is cold weather that gives you a cold, and you canNOT convince them otherwise.

Woman of Substance Exactly. The person above you can attempt to bend the comments and make excuses as much as they like, but it is a pervasive belief among older generations that illnesses are caused or worsened by the cold weather.

Hey! He’s not dead! YES HE IS

I'm not dead! I feel happy! I feel happy!

“I’m not dead! I think I’ll go for a nice walk!”

"You're not fooling anyone. Isn't there something you can do?" "I feel happy! I feel happy! I feel --" *thump* "Thanks." "No problem." "See you on Thursday?" "Right." Arthur and Pansy trot past. "Who's that?" "Must be the king." "Why?" "Because he isn't covered in s---."

You'll be stone cold in a Moment!!! Your Not fooling anyone ya know

Bloody Brilliant it was 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I made a ringtone! drive.google.com/file/d/1aaJ2ykHDD_GDPM6bxq5EwvbrcSOU4OY_/view?usp=drivesdk

PandAnna Rice who is Steven?

yammmit the host lol

@@felixwilkinson8954 I think it was a joke bc his name is spelled “Stephen”

Coolest comment of the day!!

well said lmao

No he’s not. He just brought up Obama again yesterday.

@@jamesgreen9503 Well it was nice while it lasted.

@@williamlehmaniv7460 It Never ended though.

"Sorry, officer, i have not been drinking, just brushing my teeth Colbert-style. Coronavirus, not Corona BEER.." One of your best monologues (and Coke commercials....)

lol...😅

@pammens miss It will be a two part program. With Pence you'll have to pray for it to go away and with trump you'll have to pay for it to go away.

​@pammens miss beside your muslim-bashing you are mixing facts up to make a joke. not very impressive. and yeah, i know it´s also an anti christian joke in the first place... but going from that to bash muslims is a modern right behavior to spread poison around . and that is sad .

David Kempton. I’ll bet his writers wish they thought of that one👏👏👏👏

Calling the current administration "leaders" is a contradiction in terms.

Japan is denying the problem, hoping to save the Olympics. South Korea has that church that makes Pence look like a doubter.

Yugan Dali South Korea does have a stupid cult in their country. But the US has a stupid cult running the country. Also, South Korea is on a path to test 200,000 people and has already tested 67,000. The US has only tested less than 2,000.

stupidity leads to hubris

well they have just politicised it and taken all info down from the cdc website. US is a first world banana republic

Jim666 meanwhile on FOX “ an illegal immigrant that committed a heinous crime 8 years ago is in court once again”........

@@43ShaDey and a friend of Donald so is getting a full beautiful perfect pardon.

Jim666 For once, they're not using scare tactics because what people are scared of is this incompetent administration in a crisis.

Is it ok for cats to panic?

@james kenyon Corona virus? You can't even drink the beer now? This is how the world dies.

irishlostboy It’s actually at fast food restaurants in America too

Yes, this is accurate. While some fast food restaurants have the rouch screens in the US, what's worth mentioning is just how far this type of purchasing was already integrated into China long before the virus. The US has QR codes, yes. But I don't think people realize how much QR payment is relied upon in China nor how heavily and efficiently takeout/food delivery has been. So combined with very different understandings of "privacy" (or a lack thereof) it's not a far stretch to see what was shown in the footage.

What's new is FaceBook has partnered with Communist's to connect Asia and the America's directly by wire. To secure hard-wired communication/devices. Now off the Oregon Coast and using judicial proceedings to over-rule citizens that object to this invasion. If Communist China isn't your friend then what has FaceBook been doing ?

@@toruko-ishibravo2zulu679 communist China? dude have you been living in a cave for the last few decades? and invasion? isn't that the US's trademark? invading the rest the world calling it "peacekeeping" while halting the development of those areas.

Yeah that was great! KFC gets way too much free attention!

Does Popeyes even exist in China though?

I know McD, BK, and KFC do

Jon O Rather than people worrying about dying, we should be worried about the effect on our economy and our daily lives even if we don’t get sick at all. Many medications are made-or their components are made-in China. Imagine the effect if these are disrupted and people who are on lifesaving, but ongoing, meds can’t access them? Japan has closed schools for a month because of fears of transmission. Imagine the disruption to households where both parents work! There has already been a case in this country where someone had to pay a large bill to get tested after having been exposed. What if people don’t go to the doctor out of fear because of this? What if people do go, only to have their debt burden worsened? If people stay home out of fear of being exposed, what’s that going to do to the economy? There are plenty of reasons to be concerned, but dying isn’t one for the vast majority.

Didn't see the Ricky Gervais speech from the Golden Globe awards?

Agree. And I love all of his monologues

George M I’m talking about for Colbert

@Boyd yeah, because viruses only attack melanin-rich folks. *sark* in case anybody needs it explained

Many people have said it's the greatest correction in the history of corrections.

The fact that he blamed Democrats is priceless.

Trump once said that a president should resign if the stock market dropped 1,000 points in one day.

Tracy Taylor nope that was fact checked in the other thread and AFP and Snopes both rate it as unverifiable

IDIOT

No, no, it’ll be more like, “Crooked Hillary invented Coronavirus”

@@ethanpan2335 IDIOT

@@ethanpan2335 So is "The russians stole the emails" better in your view ?

@@terrygrant9140 r/woosh

@Dak Lamerbusch it was spelled wrong because I typed it about 3 a.m. this morning

Henry Dawkins - With Trump it is always "me, me, me." He is a total narcissist.

You don’t say

That was well put.

Exactly. Remember, these are the very same people who worshiped Bush Jr until he called out Trump.

Stock market crash was predicted three months ago . Trump is just using this as an excuse and Fox News and all the news organizations why the stock market is crashing. Then he tried to blame the Democratic debate is why the stock market is crashing

Word.

On the plus side, maybe the surviving population will vote Sanders after the virus rips through the US. When a hospital stay costs 20k or more, I suspect people will take their chances on their own. Maybe there is a potential downside to the "everyone for themselves" culture after all! Might be nice if we didn't actively disincentivize people from choosing to do the right thing. Perhaps by ensuring everyone can go to the hospital without complete financial ruin and not spread a pandemic?

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/ntOFidJh3byloXk.html

Don't worry -- they use the same thermometer that's used to check the food temperature.

🤣🤣

What's to mix up? According to the kitchen edict put out by this white house, in order to pay for the socialist hand out given by the republicans for the 1%, they are one and the same.

Ahh why not it's a shit storm anyway. (Can't believe I actually wrote this)😯

America's system is set up in order that only the rich will survive

Our system is for Canadians. stay away

@Out of Control No, you idiot, Obama never fixed or claimed to fix Healthcare. Obama tried to make Healthcare accessible and affordable, like Mitt Romney did, with a moderate plan... All of which Trump has reversed, after HE CLAIMED to "fix" healthcare, after which he also claimed, that no one knew how hard it was fix Healthcare. Have you been living under a rock the last 11 years?

Shortages of Insulin because of Americans. New rule. You now need a health card to purchase.

It's ... not as clear-cut as that. The people who can't afford to be tested will form a reservoir of infection and the people who can will still get it because there won't be a mechanism to isolate it. Being able to afford diagnostics and treatment will be largely irrelevant if there are large numbers of people who can't.

Don't worry, it spreads through the air. You won't be left out of the fun for long! ....*sobs*

Times like this, make me glad to be a stoner..also doesn’t helps, but it does make the situation lighter🥳

Yes, this is actually a good time for one to have few friends. The fewer friends you have, the lesser your chances are of contacting the coronavirus.

@@chibz92 that's f#$@ed up

@@ianmiller6040 It isn't an airborne virus, it is spread from droplets (eg. If someone coughs or sneezes on you) There's some evidence that the virus can exist on surfaces for upwards of 30 minutes.

yup...

I don't know who made this quote but it fits. "Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely "

@@russmartin9549 Between 1837 and 1869 he was known as Sir John Dalberg-Acton, 8th Baronet. He is perhaps best known for the remark, "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men...", which he made in a letter to an Anglican bishop. -Wikipedia

@@117ralph so am I wrong in that statement or did I just not write it right?

@@117ralph now I know. The midget lawyer from "find me guilty "

Roger Livermont pure gold.😂😂😂😂

👍

🤣 👍!!!

Recovery is highly possible and people can/will continue to heal from and do so wsj.com/articles/japan-sees-silver-lining-to-coronavirus-as-flu-cases-drop-11583073526 nationalinterest.org/blog/buzz/coronavirus-can-be-stopped-history-can-show-us-how-127652

Me 2....🤣😂🤣😂

Watch Rachel Maddow’s show today. tRump ordered them to bring all of those exposed & infected from the cruise liner over in Japan to two military bases in California then did not allow the CDC to handle it. The people they sent to ‘greet’ these people were not trained & were not wearing protective equipment. Once face to face they all just left. One guy flew somewhere on an airplane. We are SO screwed.

@@judyxo Yeah, I just read about the whistleblower who brought that to people's attention. I can't even begin to imagine just how much stuff Trump & Co. are doing that hasn't been found out yet.

interesting that when trump is faced with a REAL crisis (not of his own making), he sends in his second string quarterback. Obviously to give himself someone to blame when it goes bad. Coward.

William Kahley www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-cut-cdc-budget/

William Kahley well to this date, they’ve still produced more true statements than Trump has, so yea, ima trust them before I trust a man that said “windmills cause cancer” or “corona virus will go away when warmer weather gets here”. But, instead of trusting a political opinion agenda network, or even a well respected fact checking site, I’ll stick with what the bipartisan scientists that actually know the full story say. www.scientificamerican.com/article/trump-rsquo-s-cdc-may-face-serious-hurdles/

You mean the tRump administration, not the US. They are silencing the heath experts and making this whole thing worse!

Let's see here *opens up memo from Pence* it just says to pray, anyone have any vacancies in Canada?

judyxo they are afraid to be fired by Trump if they tell the truth.

Pierrick Calvez what will trump do when he can’t get to kfc

the disease itself came from restaurants in China, they dont protect anyone

That job already exists. They are called cleaners lol

COLBERT IS A TOTAL LYING Trump Administration Restricts Entry Into U.S. From China Jan 20 2020 NYT The travel disruption sent shocks through the stock market and rattled industries that depend on the flow of goods and people between the world’s two largest economies. Over a month ago Trump ban people from infected Nations The Democrats called it Racist because it banned majority Asian Nations

@@ppronny12345 Trump is totally lying. Trump keeps saying that "there are only 15 cases in the US and it will just go away one day like a miracle". There are actually currently 60 infected patients quarantined in the US. Next week that figure will have at least doubled, it's not just magically going to go away. The COVID-19 stays dormant in people who appear healthy until they are actually diagnosed. By that time the disease has been spread to more people. The experts beside Trump including Dr Fauci has had a gag order placed on him not to release any further information to the public without WH clearance. A vaccine if one is possible will take a year to 18 months to produce. Vaccines have to be tested like any other new medicines, you know incase they kill people or cause birth defects. The only 15 that matters is the $15 billion Trump cut from health services including the CDC. There are only 8 facilities in the entire USA to test for the Coronavirus. And now Pence is in charge, the former Governor of Indiana who rejected a medically supported needle exchange program. That resulted in the highest increase of HIV in any US State or Country. The first real test of Trump's presidency and he puts Pence in charge so he is free from blame when it goes tits up as it will. Do you think world governments are closing schools and talking about shutting businesses for 2 months, including Italy who are seriously considering differing mortgage repayments and utility payments in an enforced quarantine to make Trump look bad? Wake the fuck up. You cannot be this idiotic! European and US companies need equipment, parts, medicines, medical supplies from China the source of the outbreak with over 60000 confirmed coronavirus infected patients. Trump and the US government are lying again. Now show some citation that shows Trump blocked anything from China over a month ago. Put up or shut the fuck up. You don't know what you are talking about.

@@philgamer5280 That's a good one; I'm guessing you're referencing "O Children" by "Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds".

TheCatNaps 🤩🤣😂

That's what I been saying on every night show they all just mention KFC.

I read your comment just as he said it.

I love John Baptiste!

Cool

✅😎👌🏾

Kills KFC!

COLBERT IS A TOTAL LYING... Trump Administration Restricts Entry Into U.S. From China Jan 20 2020 NYT The travel disruption sent shocks through the stock market and rattled industries that depend on the flow of goods and people between the world’s two largest economies. Over a month ago Trump ban people from infected Nations The Democrats called it Racist because it banned majority Asian Nations

Jo John What are you saying ? You sound like trump

@@ppronny12345 👆

@@ppronny12345 - So what do you think about Justin's remark?

To be fair, health insurance stocks shot up by a lot after Biden overtook Sanders on Super Tuesday.

Opus 313 Exactly!

Sure, no budget for CDC, all in for the border wall.

That's because it is

this is why we need to vote him out

Funny, Xi had the same concern.

@@thehusketeers4319 You're adorable. Can't you find your parents? You look lost, and shouldn't be wandering around alone like this. It's OK. It'll be OK.

That would be Seth Meyers

@@maalmi He's another great one. I love both.

exactly! & measles has a contagion risk 4 times higher than this virus, only kept in check by vaccinations & natural immunity from those who had it pre-immunisation years & Pneumonia rates from measles are also higher than for coronavirus, so yeh, hardly a minor illness that doesn't need community vaccination is it!

Sai 888 If anything having a novel coronavirus coming from a wildlife wet market shows us the importance of cleanliness in preventing disease. There is in fact no logical way in which this situation shows us anything about vaccines.

@@andrewjohnson6716 this virus is showing the spread rate when a community has no immunity to a virus. Vaccines are designed to give immunity to communities so as to halt or reduce the spread, so it tells us a LOT about the impact vaccines have on disease spread & elimination! How could you think otherwise? I hope you're not an anti-vaxer if you have such poor knowledge on the purpose of vaccines! You need to do research from reputable sources!

Amen

@@andrewjohnson6716 except that we might get rid of antivaxers like you, the hard way

Hey, most of us are trying.

@ Bobby Smith - And they both have idiot liars running their countries who are making this shit worse.

@Bobby Smith I believe the WHO has some comments about that.

Thats what you get when you have millions of uninsured illegals crossing the border getting their free healthcare subsidized by hardworking American citizens.

And his record of 3 years shows the exact opposite of what you are implying...brilliant

@@waderobinson9933 What, exactly, has he had to show for the last three years?

@@ianmiller6040 the fact that you don't know is why you are here.

@@ianmiller6040 wsau.com/blogs/ben-armstrong-blog/20344/full-list-of-president-trumps-accomplishments/

@@waderobinson9933 Utter deluded fool. Go back to your safe space.

Yes, I agree, a million times

Nah, this time it's Winnie the Pooh's fault.

No, it's the fault of Casper's Hauntings

will toulan or but whatabout Hillary..... Lol 🙄

@Rob C Really I thought he was gonna blame it on Pelosi.

You miss out. From what was reported, Trump did try to blame it on Obama in his response. I can not watch Trump talk. Every time I see Trump talk, I see shit flowing out of his mouth. I would feel like throwing up if I watch him talk for more then a 1 minute.

That song came into my head right when he got to that bit too, haha

Israel Gaeta Smiling.

#FreePalestine

Wondering if he enjoyed dropping don jr more 👀

I was coming to reference this same advice given years ago from Dr. Kesha, DDS

So so so much winning.

The markets winning again just two days later- happy overdose! www.cnbc.com/2020/03/01/awaiting-us-stock-futures-open-at-6-pm-after-wall-streets-worst-week-since-2008.html

Oh. My. Gawd. Your. Freaking. Name. I think I love you. 😂😂😂

Yeah, if I get sick I can't afford to get the test done... And I can't afford to stay home.

@@sujimtangerines If you dont have insurance, or even with shitty insurance, you stay home unless you think you are going to die, people wait all the time, people die all the time from treatable illnesses.

"Give unto Caesar what is Caeser's"

@Kris Moodley Can't take it with you....

It takes a "special kind of stupid" to eliminate the pandemic response team from the CDC. That sh*t is gonna stick to Trump like super glue.

I wanted to try it.

I kinda wanna drink that. We have too little variety in meat based drinks.

Steven will be jobless after Trump leaves offive.

Because its trash that repeats the same "ORANGE MAN BAD" all day every day?

@@ianmiller6040 Try Bovril. You can probably get it at the British section in any supermarket.

I hate when i do that.

Is that a euphemism?😉

You're a pothead, shocker

That's what bongs are for. You just need to dry it out.

He probably didn‘t write that joke.

Suddenly I want to set things on fire....

He's like an even dumber W. He only wants to do rallies and golf.

@M. Rodrigo Lemus It’s because the coronavirus is a no-win situation. trump will always sluff off anything like that to others.

tRump does not want to deal with this "Mexican disease" (Corona 😉)... So pass on to Mike...

@@abdaniel487 And Twitter... Such a waste of taxmoney

In a short while when the US coronavirus response is going horrendously bad, Trump will be saying "I don't know Mike Pence all that well, he's gotten me coffee a few times, but that's pretty much it. I take pictures with a lot of people. I don't hear very good things about him."

"'Dandy Don' muffs #19's kickoff... it squirts out....straight into the open arms of 'Wrong Way Mike'! OH NOOOOO!!!! He's headed for their own end zone!!!!! Gonna be one for the record books, today, folks!!!!"

No shit. Pence smiling in the background is proof positive that he's a brainless automaton. He's assassination insurance. Just like Dan Quayle was to Poppy Bush.

Best wing man ever

@@overseer3072 You mean wing NUT...

Like always dumpster blames Democrats for the outbreak. Saying it would help them win election because the DOW is going down.

Not much of an obsession if he's always forgetting them. 😆

CloudsGirl7 Right?😂

It Trump stretched his muscles, the way he stretches the truth, he'd be as healthy as he claims to be.

Especially when he blamed the drop in the stock markets on Tuesday on a debate that started a couple hours after the closing bell...

Nothing is a stretch anymore.

@joe black hardly a stretch. Exactly what he did today along with Fox and his halfwit son Jr not to be confused with Eric the dimwit.

He knows those markets! lol!