Want More Confidence? Be More Selfish! - Dr. Aziz, Confidence Coach

Рет қаралды 193,004

8 жыл бұрын

SocialConfidenceCenter.com Want More Confidence Be More Selfish
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being being more selfish and less nice: • How To Be Less Nice | ...
And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! It's called, "NOT NICE". See it here: cli.re/books
Ready To Take Your Confidence To The Next Level? Get Dr. Aziz’s Powerful Confidence Building Program Here: ConfidenceUnleashedNow.com
Listen to Dr. Aziz’s FREE Internet Radio Show here:
ShrinkForTheShyGuy.com
Follow Dr. Aziz on Facebook To Get Even More Confidence Tips:
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[Be More Selfish...Not exactly what you think of when you think of how to build your self confidence.
Are you ready to discover a surprising trick to becoming infinitely more confident in yourself? Do you want to feel bolder, stronger, and more fearless?
Today, I’m going to share an extremely powerful trick that will help you master confidence in all areas of your life. This trick may end up feeling counterintuitive, but that’s only because it probably goes against everything you’ve been taught.
So, what is this possibly controversial trick I’m dying to share with you today?
If you want to begin to develop ultimate confidence, you need to start being more selfish.
This, of course, must sound crazy to you-selfishness is supposed to be this ugly quality! Even as children, we’re taught that we’re supposed to share everything.
How can becoming selfish possibly help me develop confidence?
Well, to begin with, there is a spectrum of selfishness-let’s say on one end you have Henry VIII, and on the other you have Mother Teresa. While we all wish we could be as perfect as Mother Teresa, it’s not practical to expect that of mere mortals in modern society. What I have found, however, is that most people tend to lie closer to that end of the spectrum than the other.
This might sound ideal-and it definitely says great things about how Western society has progressed since the 1500’s-
but if this mindset of complete selflessness becomes habit to the point of self-denial and self-neglect, we do ourselves and our dreams a disservice.]
To read more, go here:
socialconfidencecenter.com/upd...
Want to truly take charge of your confidence and your life? Get started with Dr. Aziz now:
ConfidenceUnleashedNow.com
For dozens more confidence building videos, visit Dr. Aziz’s channel:
/ getmoreconfidence

Пікірлер: 663

@deccapatriciadriz8109 7 жыл бұрын

i care too much for others and I usually don't realize it until I get hurt

@kymmurillo6400 4 жыл бұрын

dp driz same here

@Rootsnradiance 4 жыл бұрын

That's why I don't get what I really want and everyone else does :/

@azadberjinji5449 4 жыл бұрын

Iam too

@taniasdiary1190 4 жыл бұрын

Same here,i want to be selfish

@maksudpur2012 3 жыл бұрын

Religions tell us to be humble but never tell us the limits that's why we should draw a line of whether the one deserves our niceness or not... because at the end god also do the same..And if God wants you to do something good to someone he'll put love in your heart for the one he wants to help through you but draw a line... you're the way only if you truly love someone that's natural but if you are saying I'm gonna do good to someone who's evil and bad that's where you're being stupid and that's what it's all about...that's where we should start listening to our brain and find out what we really want for others and what they deserves...But Never help bad people or you think are the bad people because even god Dont help them...Be rational there are way more good people or creatures that needs you're prayers and help done with them that would be enough

@damnthis4599 7 жыл бұрын

you don't owe anybody anything. you owe it to yourself and once others start seeing that, you get more respect. with more respect, comes confidence afterwards.

@bibana06 7 жыл бұрын

Very well summed up. thank you!

@starx8775 6 жыл бұрын

The thing is when I’m narcissistic I’m more able to help others like those in need. When I think selflessly my depression and ADHD kicks in and I start thinking I should kill myself over things like not being “sociable enough” (fake enough in this system of selfish people who expect you to engage with them). Maybe it’s a personal thing.

@chrishandsome4267 5 жыл бұрын

damnthis a

@kathi6804 3 жыл бұрын

@@starx8775 it's not personal.. even I have the same issues with me

@davidquintero7877 3 жыл бұрын

What about if end up dead. Let me tell you tomb stones are full of selfish people.

@bcandidvisuals 4 жыл бұрын

"You are not the only saviour, everyone's got other resources."

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

#TRUTH

@JP-hr8fb 4 жыл бұрын

I learned to be selfish because my mom is so selfless and she gets used by people so I learned from that and that’s why I’m selfish

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

Your story has a great twist. Usually I hear that people have adopted their parents approach.

@mohammedammari8694 3 жыл бұрын

Same here, MY parents are very selfless, I just reliaze them and I starte to be more selfish 😜

@daniellem578 7 жыл бұрын

Put yourself first .. I learned it's OK to do that. If you always put others first that's how ppl run over & take advantage of you

@SR77736 3 жыл бұрын

@Kitalia the kitsune she said if you always put people first not never pur them first. Putting yourself first isn't bad BC you cant pour from about empty cup.

@buddhaneosiddhananda8499 2 жыл бұрын

My guru would often say, "Forget self".

@adwarbilly7994 6 жыл бұрын

I officially quit being nice...now....!!

@GetMoreConfidence 6 жыл бұрын

YES!

@mjparham6430 5 жыл бұрын

Yep MeToo.

@MegaDreamOo 3 жыл бұрын

How is your life now?

@redoak2461 2 жыл бұрын

@@MegaDreamOo lol literally still the same I would say .. know why ? Because most ppl are shiiiiiiiiddy , they don't care who you are , nice , kind , evil , good , ect .. they care for themselves and if they don't like you , they were never going too ... Being less nice and more assertive and stand offish does create a slight change in ppl to want to respect you more.. but like I said ... Ppl who have respect . Will respect you regardless .. before you walked in the door they would offer respect to you ... People who don't no matter what you do .. never would have anyway ..

@tsmith4023 4 жыл бұрын

By 2021 I will no longer be a introverted shy nice guy, I’ve been watching your videos all day and they’ve really inspired me. I’m 18 and refuse to live the rest of my life like this, thank you

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

That's the spirit!

@areesha1289 3 жыл бұрын

So hows 2021 treating ya?

@ren.8137 3 жыл бұрын

How you doing now?

@mohammedammari8694 3 жыл бұрын

What happened for your word ,I murry that you forgot it😂😂

@godnyx117 Жыл бұрын

How are you doing bro?

@anthonysiders9611 8 жыл бұрын

No one Is responsible for each other's happiness do what makes you happy!

@kakacech 7 жыл бұрын

I like what you said That's actually deep

@Lalo6169 6 жыл бұрын

anthony siders well said ... you can't live your life according to other people expectations...and people only treat you the way you let them....

@felixkhale 5 жыл бұрын

Thanks

@charlesfraunhofer7893 3 жыл бұрын

I'll do what makes me happy, I'll have an obscene amount of money, luxury and possessions, be outrageously posh and have people have a bad reaction to me because I just said posh! Then I will kill everything because the whole world hates good things and best people, that way I will be happy. :(

@MegaDreamOo 3 жыл бұрын

Roger that.!

@Tina-sk9kd 7 жыл бұрын

I always feel guilty for saying no. And people walk all over me..... I'm always feeling stressed because I can't say no but then people end up using me and then I feel like I should be the better person and forgive... but it's a vicious cycle. All my life it's been like that.... and truly need help and want to learn to be selfish although that goes against everything I know.

@AdelinaMonroe 6 жыл бұрын

Dude it took me 25 years to learn all this. I fully understand every single word you just said.

@blessed74God 6 жыл бұрын

Adelina Monroe 36 for me. 35 actually

@elhadjdiallo7533 6 жыл бұрын

Adelina Monroe I'm blissful you have got the right response .... I wish you well in your journey.... be well

@mattiethesurfer 6 жыл бұрын

38 here. Ex co-dependent. My last relationship ended because of boundaries. I think I probably dated a co-dependent who excepted me to read her mind. I constantly let her know I’m here for you, just please let me know what you need and want and if I can, I’ll more than happily help. Otherwise, I want to take 100% care of my 50% for and because of this relationship. She told me I’m not compassionate.

@brick9233 5 жыл бұрын

How the hell did it take you 25 years to learn this if a child doesn’t understand these concepts. Maybe in your later teens and early 20’s but not a whole 25 years.

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com

@yigit_h 6 жыл бұрын

This is gonna be general but have to say it. Everytime I think about someone else more than myself and do something for them, that situation ends with me regreting. I realized that most people dont deserve nice actions to them. I wish I learned how to be selfish earlier!!

@bahaamuhsen3254 5 жыл бұрын

omg that's completely true. happened to me all the time, but Thank God I woke up. and I stopped! funny thing is when you get some people used to being overly nice with them, they start to think that this is the normal situation and you're the person who always has to give. without getting anything back .

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

@@bahaamuhsen3254 Exactly!

@stephanier4936 5 жыл бұрын

Damn, so true. All for humbleness, but at times, we Must be of self-care selflessly/"selfishly."

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

@@stephanier4936 PREACH! :)

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

@@LateshaRenee There you go!

@sreeharim2221 7 жыл бұрын

It,s true.. being more selfish is only making a better person..nothing bad in it.

@GetMoreConfidence 3 жыл бұрын

@michaeldonohue167 3 жыл бұрын

This is so true. I'm going through a period at the moment where I have to ask myself, 'What are people giving me?' And the answer is 'very little!'.

@GetMoreConfidence 3 жыл бұрын

Sounds like you might need upgrade the quality of people you're interacting with.

@Namastee0000 6 жыл бұрын

What a blessing it is to have found this video. The Nice Guy/Gal really finishes last. And I'm sick of people taking my kindness for weakness. It ends today. #innerstrength💪🏾

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

@Mrsmerlinsantana 2 жыл бұрын

Right💯💯

@billyrowe0064 7 жыл бұрын

I kept telling a girl that I didn't want to be more than friends because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. She called me a narcissist. I took a quiz on the Internet (I know this isn't a real diagnosis) and it actually said I was not even a healthy narcissist. She took it and she was more of a narcissist than myself. The 'healthy narcissism' is probably the 'selfish' you are talking about. I let people walk all over me. They can basically shoot my legs off and within an hour, I'd forgive them and tell them it's alright. So being more selfish, telling and asking others for what I need, saying no, rejecting people, etc. is something I REALLY need to do because I've struggled with it for so long and I'm constantly being used when someone needs me because they know I'd be there.

@kevinmcwalter9259 7 жыл бұрын

Billy Rowe

@MrDominic600 3 жыл бұрын

Bro you’re spot on

@rtp1968 5 жыл бұрын

You hit the nail on the head!!!!! I am a selfless person get screwed over ALL the time.

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

You're not alone! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com

@dannyortiz9070 8 жыл бұрын

if you love people or someone, then giving is the best reward; and lust takes. but yes, we should love ourselves first before investing in others. investing out of fear Is not true love either.

@harithjenor4390 7 жыл бұрын

be selfless to those that worth it is the best I think

@mjparham6430 5 жыл бұрын

Nobody is worth it!

@rachelc6164 3 жыл бұрын

Your book has changed my life, more than years of therapy. I have moral scrupulosity OCD, my entire life revolves around intense compulsive fear around being a bad person. You have helped me redefine my identity as something so much more powerful than “nice.” Thank you for helping set me free.

@GetMoreConfidence 2 жыл бұрын

That is so awesome to hear Rachel!

@JJones-bo7zk 6 жыл бұрын

What I like about this the most is that he has experienced what I'm experiencing, overcame it, and then starting speaking to us about how to be more confident in a way I can relate. And, he seems like an actual nice guy whose also respectable because he respects himself. That's what I want to be as a woman.

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

@phillyfan-182 8 жыл бұрын

I've struggled with this my entire life. I'm a good person but I don't wanna be perceived as a saint though.

@nikhilsukumar23 7 жыл бұрын

True just avoid toxic people and welcome good ones and always be selfish inside.

@jaybrazzel60 7 жыл бұрын

aman brother

@Maggieoo-o7i 7 жыл бұрын

phillyfan182 I feel the same way, I feel that my body language and presence makes people think that I am way to gentle and anxious. I absolutely hate how it shows.

@nikhilsukumar23 7 жыл бұрын

Maddie O just ignore angry toxic funny people trust me I wasted decades thinking about them. Just ignore them like black smoke that escapes chimneys. And do your work evrry hour. Once you done enough work for a year relax and travel with a friend. Simple and keep a garden it enriches your life. Also read books every weekend all these are far interesting adventurous than thinking about bad people which is black smoke toxic.

@GetMoreConfidence 6 жыл бұрын

It certainly can be a real struggle. Keep at it though and you'll find a balance that works,

@loretaben1663 6 жыл бұрын

All the people I have ever helped selflessly with my abilities have all tried to kill or destroy me afterwards. So, helping selflessly has come to an end for me.

@GetMoreConfidence 6 жыл бұрын

This can be true in many cases loreta ben. Finding a new balance can be challenging, but also rewarding.

@nsavernon 4 жыл бұрын

When he says "you can only feel guilty if you already feel bad" I almost dropped my whiskey

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

Key point... "almost" :)

@dannisayseffyou 4 жыл бұрын

I’ve learned that being a little mean for self benefits is okay ! You can take care of yourself and they can take. Are of themselves. They are not stupid !

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

@monikakinley8655 5 жыл бұрын

Yes! Looking at ourselves first, means that we won't only become more confident, but also (equally important), we will be only doing things we want to do - truly in our hearts. And won't victimise ourselves. And will feel happy. And be more confident as we represent who we really are. And on and on and on... Love this appraoch, thanks for creating this video.

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

A great sum up Monika! :) Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: cli.re/books

@xominvoka5814 7 жыл бұрын

I usually do things to benefit everyone because I don't want others to look at me as selfish... this has led to me being overlooked and undermined, I'm learning to change. I've watched a couple of your videos and I must say you're doing just great👍

@haanhduong7902 4 жыл бұрын

So much guilt by being selfish... why did i not think about that? Thank you for saying these words. They really change everything for me.

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

So glad to hear that! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com

@jasminlewipierre7753 3 жыл бұрын

I think I watched this a couple of years ago and at that time I realized why people treated me like crap because I was a people pleaser and now I am happy to say my breakup has catapulted me to be even more selfish. Be yourself always and you will get exactly what you desire.

@GetMoreConfidence 3 жыл бұрын

@jasminlewipierre7753 3 жыл бұрын

@@GetMoreConfidence Thank you so much ! I will definitely watch it.

@mariamalhotra8228 5 жыл бұрын

Altruism out of fear sets you up for regret a lot of times. We should ask "what do I want?" instead of "what should I do"?

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

Good reasoning process Maria!

@dopermine2020 8 жыл бұрын

I have been nice person through out my life not knowing that people are taking you for granted.When you step up to take control or reply back to ppl.That is whn I guilt feeling steps in ...I am not able to be live fullest of my potential..I couldn't figure out my problem until now ....

@village_style5237 4 жыл бұрын

Exactly what I think. I feel this to an extreme level. So also because I am inclined a bit towards religion too which for sure teaches you to be selfless. But this way of conduct/feeling hasn't given me anything. I feel good when I agree with others. It gives me this extreme feeling of goodness and hapiness on the contrary I feel more guilt when I go opposite. I dont know how to tackle this. I just want to keep a balance in this where it leads me to benefit out a bit also.

@emacwakeup 2 жыл бұрын

This is my 2022 focus. Self care and selfishness.

@GetMoreConfidence 2 жыл бұрын

Yes!

@self-love2355 6 жыл бұрын

I agree with this 100%. It's about balance.

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

Absolutely. Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com

@suhanarathor4057 4 жыл бұрын

You know what I love more people then I love myself. I always look out for them but when that people called you selfish at that time you start a beginning of selfish but you know what I know self control ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

@iniubongnkanga9390 4 жыл бұрын

Don't trust too much on anyone, even your shadow leaves you when the light vanishes." When my wife started getting frequent night calls, I'd ask and she'd wave off those calls as unimportant. When I couldn't take it anymore, I contacted Hacker Nevetica via cyberanswers@gmail who helped clone her phone. All I did was share her phone number and through a remote link on my phone, I was able to access all of her messages. (both incoming and deleted) I also discovered her 8 months affair with one guy she met on a dating app. Thanks to him, I can now file for divorce. If you need help, I recommend you get in touch with Hacker Nevetica through cyberanswers@gmail I hope you find peace of mind just like myself after discovering the truth.

@yukiruikuta6500 3 жыл бұрын

Whatever you do, not everyone is going to be grateful. Not everyone is your friend. So although you must be kind to others, don't be soft. And never tell others your plans, especially at work. They might use it against you. Respect others, but respect yourself more.

@GetMoreConfidence 3 жыл бұрын

Always respect yourself more!

@jcyangson982 8 жыл бұрын

Thank you I needed this rn. Girls in my school are just abusing my kindness and I do not know how to say no at all. I'm not intimidated bc I know most of their intentions are because they think I'm superior for excelling in my class( I hope I don't sound cocky saying this) and they're trying to bring me down. I need to say no more before I even lose the confidence I've been slowly building for a long time now. You're channel is a gem.

@jcyangson982 8 жыл бұрын

oops i meant *your 😊

@michellewong2298 7 жыл бұрын

Hey Jc, although you are not intimidated in the sense that you are afraid they are better than you academically, I think you are intimidated by your own standards... You set a standard on yourself that you must be perfect whether academically, or a perfect friend, perfect helper etc... If you don't fulfil that standard than you feel inferior.... E.g. you feel bad when you have a grammatical mistake... so you immediately posted "oops i meant *your"... You didn't want people to think that your English is not good... Hey I am totally working on this as well... I just won't allow myself to have any grammatical / spelling mistakes or anything of the sort... If I don't know how to say something then I'd rather not say anything, in case others laugh at my language ability. That's so silly right? I also help people because I don't want to feel bad not helping them. Thankfully people haven't abused my kindness like you do but then sometimes people do do things to me which I don't like and I don't know how to confront them... I might be wrong about you, but see what you think?

@intransigentpugnaciouschau9677 7 жыл бұрын

Jc Yangson they are jealous. and you have to be more selfish and narcissist . the most of courteous students at schools seem to be narcissist selfish bureaucrats actually they belong to the right wing they are unable to express their own thoughts or criticize the teacher or the system.they get self esteem by making other students seem to be less. that is called a courteous student

@MOONInFlorida. 5 жыл бұрын

I bought your book “ NOT NICE. Even though my English is still processing. But your book help me a lot to learn English and to improve myself. 🙏 Thanks 🙏

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

A side benefit I hadn't even considered! :)

@dontworrywegotplantyoftime3836 6 жыл бұрын

treat me right ....be nice to me ..but go wrong the beast comes out ..is a give and take

@GetMoreConfidence 6 жыл бұрын

I'll remember that! :)

@thisisntallowed9560 5 жыл бұрын

You're really right. Everything that feels unatural is bad for us. If you express your wants instead of worrying about the other you make everyone happy. I'm happy there's a video that talks about that on youtube. I feel like this happen a lot in relashionship/dating. I hate what's unnatural so that might be a reason why I don't have any boyfriend hahaaaaaaaa...

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

@BenSmith89 8 жыл бұрын

I found your page just before I am about to go make some cold sales calls, I do door to door sales. it's such a relief to hear exactly what I've been feeling and how it's been making me fearful of what is to come, fear of being rejected. I've been working this job for two years now and I still get those feelings and it shakes my confidence to a crumble. I really like where you're heading with all this and my fear feels to have been alleviated for now. thanks for posting this stuff

@ROCKNROLLFAN 6 жыл бұрын

That is true because people don't respect you when you do for them day in and day out especially women.......

@GetMoreConfidence 6 жыл бұрын

Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: cli.re/books

@aridomingo17 6 жыл бұрын

Thanks for making me realize stuff that I should've realized years ago. This is the biggest problem within me actually. I thought the main problem was me and my standards in everything, because I never get what I want. My expectations were never met and it feels frustrating every time. I really thank you for taking a huge part of my life cause I think this video will commence a turning point in my life.

@GetMoreConfidence 6 жыл бұрын

So glad to hear that you found this helpful! I've done a newer video with more info in this here: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html Also, check out my latest book dedicated to this topic titled, “Not Nice” here: cli.re/books

@aridomingo17 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@rustyblonchjr8660 4 жыл бұрын

@@aridomingo17 I really don't get it though for like me personally I'm still in school I can help like 4 or 5 people with there work and still get done with my work no problem at all not trying to be rude but is it really that hard to help yourself and others at the same time

@aridomingo17 4 жыл бұрын

@@rustyblonchjr8660 This is a matter of perspective. Some things that work for you may not work on me and I respect that. I think this video is more appropriate to people who can't speak for themselves, who can't call out someone, who encounters aggressive people and never know how to handle them. Hence, the end result is that we always lose. We end up feeling tired because of always choosing everyone over ourselves. It's good to help other people but we can help them without compensating ourselves too much. If you find this video inappropriate, maybe it's not for you because you don't really know what it feels like to experience these things. Dr. Aziz used the word "selfish", people may have misundersood or may have seen this video in a negative way but it isn't. He just wants to say that sometimes, we should think of ourselves first cause often times we tend to forget about ourselves because of our love and care for other people.

@rustyblonchjr8660 4 жыл бұрын

@@aridomingo17 he used the wrong term self love not selfishness I also don't agree that putting yourself first is a requirement there's some people that can help people and still have time to themselves and are fine I Just don't like how some people say that putting yourself first is a requirement and it needs to be done that's all but yeah whatever works for you is what works for you I respect that

@josebaltazar4102 7 жыл бұрын

Dr. Aziz reading and listening to your book The Solution for Social anxiety, it really changed my life thank you.

@GetMoreConfidence 7 жыл бұрын

Yes!! That's awesome to hear. What are some of the biggest breakthroughs you've experienced?

@fredmcelroy2839 2 жыл бұрын

It’s true and I have to be more selfish. Whenever I haven’t been selfish and wanted to help everyone all the time, eventually I became resentful.

@GetMoreConfidence 2 жыл бұрын

That is not at all uncommon.

@fredmcelroy2839 2 жыл бұрын

@@GetMoreConfidence Why do you think that is?

@jmarie2977 7 жыл бұрын

great video, i feel alot of people just feel guilty for saying no.

@kakacech 7 жыл бұрын

Family puts these feelings in you on purpose They want you to serve them without questioning so they teach you from a young age that the word NO is a bad thing and you must die if you say it

@gatpanywuay4384 4 жыл бұрын

Am lucky I got this message

@rustyblonchjr8660 4 жыл бұрын

I don't know I find that kind of weird how do you feel guilty from saying no

@c7eye 4 жыл бұрын

👍 sometimes I give to much to my friend. Than I become more of a mother to her than a friend. Also, she than expects more. More free coffee, more free lunches. I realized it’s like I’m buying her company. Lol. So, I stopped. I give favors now when I want to. I also realize I can be inadvertently holding people back from achieving more. We all need to learn life lessons. I need to care for myself. I can’t be a bottomless well of giving because there is nothing left for me. Great video and thank you!

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing that. Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com

@Veslanjejezivot 8 жыл бұрын

You're helping us a lot Dr. Aziz. Thank you.

@bagsy4884 5 жыл бұрын

I’m in a miserable relationship I feel worried and anxious with my girlfriend and it’s like being in prison, but I’m worried that it will make her upset so I have been prolonging breaking up

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

If that's what is needed, I hope this information can give you the courage to do what you need to do either way.

@lightdweller1 6 жыл бұрын

It’s a journey, there’s a difference between self-centred and selfish! I’m laughing because this video could have been said in 3 mins, but I enjoyed the transition, thank you.

@GetMoreConfidence 6 жыл бұрын

You're welcome!

@AbhishekKumar-ff9vg 3 жыл бұрын

Yes you are right , we should take the power of decision to ourselves that does not mean that we are being selfish . That means that we are standing for our ownself . And that's not bad. Because people start you to make a punching bag if you always be a nice guy. Now I understood why I was being depressed for long time even after helping other people and not hurting other people feeling . Because I was not taking my own decisions , I took those decisions out of fear . But now onwards I will choose my own decisions and fight with my guilt . Currently I am college student final year ( 21 ) . I wish I could know this earlier in my life no body told me like this . Really very thanks to you for this eye opening videos. Keep uploading.

@GetMoreConfidence 3 жыл бұрын

@jamesdulger5076 8 жыл бұрын

I think.its important to stick up for yourself, first I thought you mean by selfish 'arrogant'

@kadirramazn Жыл бұрын

You really opened my eyes to things that i don't like and want to change but cannot find what is. Can't aprreciate more, very much thanks

@michaelt62077 6 жыл бұрын

Makes a lot more sense than being the "nice guy"

@GetMoreConfidence 6 жыл бұрын

Check out my newer video on being Less Nice: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, have a look at my new book dedicated to this topic titled, “Not Nice” here: cli.re/books

@arniemali 2 жыл бұрын

Nice guys finish last.

@shreyaya4945 6 ай бұрын

i watch so many of your videos im really wokring on myself. i found your videos very helpful. you see growing up in a family where i was constantly neglected by my parents made me more of a people pleaser needing constant validation. being too nice js=ust so i dont hurt them like my parents did to me. which in turn resulted in social anxiety and low self esteem YOUR VIDEOS are so soo helpful to me for finally being confident😇

@ChristianBoyer Жыл бұрын

I died laughing a couple of times at the jokes. Love that guy

@superman-dc4rj 7 жыл бұрын

the first time I saw one of your video, i felt this energy inside me of flame and greatness. your videos are easy to practice and so inspiring. I thank God your word came into my life. Thank brother and God bless you.

@shreyaraut9270 5 жыл бұрын

You must value yourself first

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

Absolutely!

@wesleysnipshair3048 7 жыл бұрын

Your channel is amazing. Thank you for doing these.

@Antpeople1 4 жыл бұрын

He described me to T- yep, a compulsive fear alright, especially grown from early childhood bulling/abuse and the need to feel we HAVE to be like our Saviour is deeply ingrained and not beneficial but for me has been extremely dangerous. I have had so much evil done to me, being taken advantage of that I end up losing it and being abused like a criminal by Police and in the Psychiatric Unit.

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

Wow, thank you for sharing your story.

@Antpeople1 4 жыл бұрын

@@GetMoreConfidence Thank YOU

@angelakenyon7107 8 жыл бұрын

this is great. helping an ex boyfriend and i feel miserable because i don't want to help. tks

@greatguy423 7 жыл бұрын

u got it lol😂😂

@jaybrazzel60 7 жыл бұрын

y help him any way

@kakacech 7 жыл бұрын

Even the ex is gonna feel like garbage Not going is the best for everyone ?and also, am I his fu**g maid or something?

@o0playalistic0o 8 жыл бұрын

brilliant Dr Aziz just brilliant!

@fhdhejeh63 5 жыл бұрын

focus on yourself! it needs practice

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

Practice is extremely important.

@emilijaannajasaite4520 4 жыл бұрын

I watch this pretty often just so I really get it in and understand it more and more. Really helps

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

I'm glad to hear that. Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com

@donjames7647 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for this amazing video , I have suffered all my life being too nice . I have never thought about my self

@phoenixd9679 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you ! I am Blessed to find you , I was looking for help to stop being used and hurt by everyone!!! I start now the work on me !!! No means NO !!! The End of thinking about it !

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

Awesome! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com

@NaziiaAidyralievanuts 7 жыл бұрын

I'm so happy to find this channel. Many useful videos. Dr.Aziz gives lots of important and helpful insights. I'm/has been a NICE person all the time, but I didn't like it. I always wanted to deal with it and change myself a little bit. Now I'm going to use his tips. Slowly learning how to say 'no'.

@AshishSharma-nr2xp 3 жыл бұрын

Your passion for topic and own suffering is visible. It's just awesome how you overcome all these things and sharing your tools with others 👍🙂.

@GetMoreConfidence 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@shivangigupta1886 6 жыл бұрын

Love your channel! It has helped me a lot to connect with myself and be real around people. Wish you all the best

@GetMoreConfidence 6 жыл бұрын

So grateful to hear that! Be sure and connect with me though my other resources as well... 1) First, stay in the loop by going here and signing up for my newsletter: socialconfidencecenter.com/products/5-steps-to-unleash-your-inner-confidence/ In the process, you’ll receive my ebook that has helped thousands of people, “5 Steps To Unleash Your Inner Confidence.” You’ll also receive a lot of helpful tips and information on a regular basis as well as access to resources only available to subscribers. 2) Subscribe to my podcast here: www.ShrinkForTheShyGuy.com If offers great information for both men and women, including interviews with other leaders in the field of confidence and social anxiety. 3) Subscribe to my KZfaq channel here. (Don’t forget to click on the notification bell icon!) I release at least one new video every week! kzfaq.info 4) Follow me on Facebook! facebook.com/DrAzizGazipura/ 5) Browse through my published books on specific confidence issues and how to crush them! DrAzizBooks.com 6) Check out my next live event. These weekend intensive experiences are life changing! socialconfidencecenter.com/events/

@realtalktina 6 жыл бұрын

good examples ! being nice is better than the guilt & over thinking and backlash from others I feel after setting boundaries. One time I told à friend to stop calling me last minute to go out and he never invited me out ever again.... But just text me like nothing was wrong...

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

I highly recommend my book, "Not Nice."

@realtalktina 4 жыл бұрын

Get More Confidence I’ll definitely read it if it’s on audio! I only read Audiobooks

@iaelborntosing9756 7 жыл бұрын

I'm on the other side. The being too nice side and being afraid and feeling gilty of saying "NO". Thank you so much for this video.

@back2forest209 4 жыл бұрын

It so so true.... I realised it when I start getting pull for 2 different ways to help others & I was feeling like I am not that good

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

@mohsentalebi9505 7 жыл бұрын

dude, your videos are awesome. keep up the good job

@jesstwu6911 2 жыл бұрын

I actually really like this, you broke it down so simplistically but it was effective and made so much sense!

@montsaintleondr7491 3 жыл бұрын

You've opened my eyes, Dr.! Thank you! It had always been the missing part for me.

@GetMoreConfidence 3 жыл бұрын

@paulinasuero6562 7 жыл бұрын

I think that is very important to say no when we don't want something and to accept when other people say to us "no" because they don't want

@abdulwaduudahmed2768 5 жыл бұрын

You rock dude.

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

So do you!

@private4701 7 жыл бұрын

I whatched most of your vedioes and i can see clearly what are you talking about!!! For the first time some real talk! Great great vedioes

@masterartist1025 5 жыл бұрын

Aziz(sp), I like your channel so much that I had to subscribe. You make excellent points.

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

Great to have you hear, dive right in! Be sure to take full advantage of all my free online resources… 1) First, stay in the loop by going here and signing up for my newsletter: socialconfidencecenter.com/products/5-steps-to-unleash-your-inner-confidence/ In the process, you’ll receive my ebook that has helped thousands of people, “5 Steps To Unleash Your Inner Confidence.” You’ll also receive a lot of helpful tips and information on a regular basis as well as access to resources only available to subscribers. 2) Subscribe to my podcast here: www.ShrinkForTheShyGuy.com If offers great information for both men and women, including interviews with other leaders in the field of confidence and social anxiety. 3) Subscribe to my KZfaq channel here. (Don’t forget to click on the notification bell icon!) I release at least one new video every week! kzfaq.info 4) Follow me on Facebook! facebook.com/DrAzizGazipura/ 5) Browse through my published books on specific confidence issues and how to crush them! DrAzizBooks.com 6) Check out my next live event. These weekend intensive experiences are life changing! socialconfidencecenter.com/events/

@drewsibleyloans 4 жыл бұрын

I am super glad to have found your guidance. Great advice!Thank you Doctor.

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

Great to have you here! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com

@gianluigigonzaga6131 2 жыл бұрын

Thank Dr Aziz, I just wanted to tell you that your video are great! You talk very well. Keep up the great job, really happy I found you on Facebook. Take care!😉

@GetMoreConfidence 2 жыл бұрын

I'm glad you found me too! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com

@m17434 2 жыл бұрын

THANK YOU Dr Aziz!

@GetMoreConfidence 2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome!

@rimshanaaz1305 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you sir... I always felt I've to be selfless and done it this long but still I wasn't happy.. i didn't knew why... You answered it the in best way🙂🙂

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

You're welcome! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com

@abbeypropertycare8081 5 жыл бұрын

Excellent video . Thanks dr aziz . Keep posting more . Very useful advice.

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you, and I will! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com

@abhiraj3365 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Dr for giving this advice,With this kind of thinking I feel I can become more confident in myself

@forho2 6 жыл бұрын

Helping tha homie out no matter what is bro code.

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

@AmpKick06 5 жыл бұрын

Great stuff! Thanks for sharing

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

@stephengrey3582 3 жыл бұрын

I always cared about others. No matter how many times they f*** me. I fight and sacrifice for them... I wanna change.... this selfish world and people deserve selfish me...

@GetMoreConfidence 3 жыл бұрын

@micheller6418 3 жыл бұрын

I have broken a relationship in dating early stages we not even met yet saying he love me is sweet but far to early for that for me he upset a few times by what he said on text as i am becoming more selfish and staying what i want or dont like and being more confident as i am trying to be which is good thing he decided to leave its really his loss not mine i choose to care on myself thats not wrong being selfish . Men seem to want a damsel in distress type thing well i am not and am proud of it. Selfish is not bad unless to much as he said

@GetMoreConfidence 3 жыл бұрын

@micheller6418 3 жыл бұрын

Get More Confidence i will thxs

@yukiruikuta6500 3 жыл бұрын

Don't worry just be yourself and you'll attract your type.

@jlroncal7226 5 жыл бұрын

I watch your videos every night before I go to sleep for my self improvement. Your videos are helping me a lot. Thank you. Keep inspiring! May i have the courage to be who I am & to know in deep level that I am awesome. =)

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

You ARE absolutely awesome!

@saadhasib9653 2 жыл бұрын

I love the way you explain things man, it really speaks to me.

@GetMoreConfidence 2 жыл бұрын

I'm so grateful to hear that! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com

@Lalo6169 6 жыл бұрын

Good video well said ... you can't live your life according to other people expectations...and people only treat you the way you let them....

@GetMoreConfidence 6 жыл бұрын

Well said! :)

@marv2k4 5 жыл бұрын

yup. this is life. good shit . accurate LIKE!

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

Thanks! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/atiAdtirl9aYgoU.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: cli.re/books

@cloclo4749 5 жыл бұрын

Thanks Dr Aziz! Loved your Not Nice book and KZfaq content. It’s has helped me through one of the biggest challenges in life and a life time of being too nice. I’ve read so many self-help books but nothing has spoken to me like this. I only wish I could find a local men’s group. Keep up the good work. 👍🏼

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

I'm so grateful to hear that! Is there a chance you could come and join me at one of my live events?

@cloclo4749 5 жыл бұрын

Get More Confidence That would be amazing but I’m in FL. I should learn to be a touch more selfish and say yes! But I have guilt about leaving my daughter for too long. Excuses...probably? How do I learn more about the events?

@GetMoreConfidence 5 жыл бұрын

You should absolutely say yes! It would benefit you and your daughter, both in the quality of life you would be inspired to bring to your household and the wisdom you would pass on to her. You can see events at the following URL. If you decide to just go for it and come to my June event I'll arrange for you to get the early bird special price of $197 that expired a couple of months ago: www.socialconfidencecenter.com/events/

@sarahd1706 4 жыл бұрын

This spectrum doesn't work with those labels (selfish vs selfless), because both sides are selfish. Both are about protecting or feeding your own fragile ego & using people to boost their own sense of self worth.

@GetMoreConfidence 4 жыл бұрын

@Rachu666 Жыл бұрын

Totally relatable. I always showed up for my friends and was there for them. But they kind of started taking me for granted. But once I got married, I realised my friends were really jealous. I was the single, available friend with a job for them. But although I had everything I was not 'settled' as per Indian standards. They were married and continuously ranted about how marriage is bad. But I bet they secretly was relieved I haven't found a life partner. When I broke the news of my engagement, first thing my bestie told me was "Oh one of my friends had asked if you were single" REALLY? Is that the reaction. And where was this friend when i had been single for a very long time? She never mentioned anything of that friend instead she was talking about marital difficulties. But now I am married, and with a good job. That kind of upset them. I stopped initiating conversation with them. Now they want to meet up for a get together. Anyway I can never be their same friend. I know I can never count on them.

@MissileGuidance 8 ай бұрын

Wow you're amazing I love your style! 😁 Thank you

@dizzyglizzy5439 Жыл бұрын

Thank you sir, this video really helped me because i feel like I'm not selfish enough and this video just made it easier for me to deal with that thank you