We Reported Our Autistic Son to The Police...
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ABOUT KEVIN CHAPMAN
I'm a 37 year old KZfaqr from the UK. I've got a cracking beard and I'm currently going through the autism diagnosis process. I started this channel back in 2017 and by the time I left my full-time job as a Computer Science teacher in July of that year, my partner Anna was trapped in our house by our son Andy, who is autistic and had refused to go to school for 18 months. Our daughters Lucy and Amy and our dog Dave hardly saw me because I was always working to try and solve all our problems! Today I'm a full-time content creator and always at home when the kids get home from school (all our kids!) and Anna has been able to return to university. This channel is the story of my ongoing journey! Previously known as lollujo Vlogs and The Chapman Family.
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@breakcoregirlxd 3 жыл бұрын
I have autism and I've gotten to a point in life where I can't deal with it anymore I'm 19 and all I want is to have lived a normal one
@aaronmayhew9983 3 жыл бұрын
Dont think about it that way man. You gotta be proud of who you are, keep your head up and live your best life
@nicholasgannon7327 3 жыл бұрын
What is a normal life? What is not to say that you are 'normal' and everyone else are the ones that are not 'normal'. Believe in who you are and not what you want to be. I know of a lot of people who have autism and have become very successful. Many famous people have autism. They believed in themselves and are proud of autism. If you believe in yourself the possibilities are endless. You may find some things difficult but finding ways to make those things less difficult to deal with makes you an even better person. Keep strong, keep positive and keep being you!!
@breakcoregirlxd 3 жыл бұрын
@@nicholasgannon7327 I'm sure that could help some people out who are going through the same feelings as me however, I can't be proud of something that doesn't benefit me at all people don't like being around me, yeah I'm sure someone's gonna go well it's probably just you not autism well yeah so what's the point
@breakcoregirlxd 3 жыл бұрын
@fidantic I'm sure you've heard this thousands of times but not everyone with autism is the same I wish I could have been one of the ones that is fixated on a certain hobby or just really intelligent but no it took a lot of extra help just to pass school because of my inability to concentrate
@abyssreal1878 3 жыл бұрын
Be normal theb
@lucymaythompson6755 3 жыл бұрын
I have a 6 year old who is non verbal Autistic, hes strong now and him getting older does worry me, Iv heard of so many other parents having to call the police because of meltdowns, its a last resort and people need to understand that. I really appreciate you putting this video up and sharing your experience.
@ironboywonder2766 3 жыл бұрын
Everywant has meltdown I am youngter jesus can help him with his depression anxiety something we boy like that we can get so couck overloded with problems or get crisis
@sairr53h86 3 жыл бұрын
You’re both fantastic parents! You did what you had to do. Don’t beat yourselves up. I can’t imagine how it must have felt for Andy. Stay strong all ❤️
@ellenbrouwerartist 3 жыл бұрын
I can’t imagine how scary that must have been for you all and how stressful things are right now. I hope your son gets all the help and support he needs and that you guys stay safe.
@valhalla4558 3 жыл бұрын
It’s a hard decision to make Kev, I hope the right one in the end. Best of luck to you, we’re all behind you.
@olliepop2282 3 жыл бұрын
Um....
@baileyhaggan4 3 жыл бұрын
Yeah That's Understandable
@broganlees3917 3 жыл бұрын
Yes a very hard decision but definitely the correct one although it sounds bad in the end it helped them and also Andy, we will back kev and Anna in whatever they chose to do as at the end of the day they will know what is best for Andy and themselves as it does has a big effect on their lifes
@fastfutures 3 жыл бұрын
KNOBERT
@TheRojo387 Жыл бұрын
Plot twist: it was the wrong decision. As now, commenters are suggesting he literally violate the law (impersonating a police officer) in order to control his son, whom he defines ENTIRELY by autism and by nothing else. Kev is being pressured into career crime; to treat his autistic son instead like a delinquent child.
@alfietaylor8795 3 жыл бұрын
life is life kev, sometimes it will be hard other times it is beautiful. What your videos do for people with autism is incredible. No one can pass judgement correctly on how you raise your child. we all know you make decisions with andys best at heart. Keep on going it will get better im sure you know that already. love
@sharonlarkin5157 3 жыл бұрын
There are so many kids out there with parents (especially fathers) who just don’t care enough to be involved in their kid’s lives, your son is so lucky to have you in his. You did what you needed to do and still maintained your concern for your son. You seem like an awesome person your son is lucky to have someone like you in his life even if he doesn’t understand it.
@benm2784 3 жыл бұрын
it’s ridiculous that people would criticise you for replacing the TV. That’s what any family would do if they were in the position to do so. Props for making this video. I think I can speak for everyone here when I say we wish you and the family all the best.
@Vampiregimpmask 3 жыл бұрын
I’m a police officer, during my time on shift I had to respond to a number of incidents like this. I really sympathise with you as parents. There were times like you have described that ended in an arrest, some of which required me and my colleagues to physically remove the child from the house . It was traumatic for the child but even more so for the parents. No parent ever pressed charges, it was always a final safeguarding tactic when there were no other solutions available. There really wasn’t any other option and police were called as a last resort. Now Andy is a teenager his physical strength is increasing and on top of everything else his hormones are all over the place. I also have a theory that when teenagers get into this kind of ‘rage’ state their minds become so overloaded and over stimulated that the subconscious self preservation part of the brain switches off, they are suddenly able to push their bodies beyond its normal safe level of exertion which seems to grant super human strength. I’m a similar build to yourself and there were occasions when it took 3 or 4 people my size to safely restrain a teenage boy. The problem is that this strength puts a huge strain on their bodies. Don’t beat yourself up for any decision you have to make because ultimately you have to do what’s best for yourself and your family ✌🏻
@vikky1376 3 жыл бұрын
you are so true.. I have been thru this multiple's times with my son. he 22 now. the hormones take a big toll in this, besides moving into a new environment. my son he push his older brother down first and fracture his arm. a month later he bite his father on the arm while trying to restrain him, 2 months after that he pin me down while putting pressure on my back.. being a parents do take a toll.. any kind of life change can put them thru a lot. In my situation we were homeless and living in our car. only able to get an hotel for 2 days out of a week. we are very lucky that we manage to get another place to live, It took him about a month to adjust to our new apartment.
@tml136 3 жыл бұрын
I couldn’t imagine call the police on my lad who has autism and a trace of ADHD and is none Verbal he’s 7 year old and even now he’s strong
@vikky1376 3 жыл бұрын
@@tml136 they do get very strong while having a melt down
@tml136 3 жыл бұрын
@@vikky1376 he is strong and only going to get stronger but getting the proper training helps
@vikky1376 3 жыл бұрын
@@tml136 I agree with you
@dynastyhl3726 3 жыл бұрын
Kev: how do I say this without swearing? Also Kev: #%*#
@noahdron6 3 жыл бұрын
That's what o thouht
@mrtrickay7111 3 жыл бұрын
Exactly... It was #%*# (bleeped out) as far as you know he could have said "fridge" 🤷♂️
@MichaelJones-hp3kl 3 жыл бұрын
@@mrtrickay7111 why would he bleep that out though
@kaitlandoneill5512 3 жыл бұрын
@@MichaelJones-hp3kl because it may be offensive to other ppl
@teaspilt542 3 жыл бұрын
@@kaitlandoneill5512 fridge isn’t offensive
@sralcsa 3 жыл бұрын
I love how straight talking you are. No bs, just logical and honest
@frazerpowellcovers8178 3 жыл бұрын
Kevin, I think you are doing the most incredible job as a parent. I have watched your vids for a couple of years and your hard work and determination is truly breathtaking. I'm sure I can speak for all of us when I say WE ARE WITH YOU! I think 99% of us will always respect your decisions when it comes down to andy and we hope you can use these types of videos to help yourselves as well in terms of your mental health. Please know we are all here and support you and I really hope all of the family are ok coming out of this!
@torontokat54 3 жыл бұрын
My heart goes out to you and Anna and especially to Andy. I feel so bad that this has been so upsetting and actually quite traumatizing for Andy. I hope you are able to get everything you need for support and for services for Andy, as soon as possible, if not sooner. This is very clearly an emergency situation and I hope that the professionals help you immediately. Hugs to all of you.
@nevermore7836 3 жыл бұрын
That's heartbreaking for all of you, he's bigger, stronger now too. I honestly wish you & Anna all the best in whatever decision you make, as a parent of an now teenage Aspie, I'm in tears here ,please just keep safe, broken hearts & silly gadgets can be repaired. I have no words.
@cameronmcgraith4210 3 жыл бұрын
Only just came across this. I've grown up with 2 sisters that are autistic and recently we had to move house due to a house fire. There routine was pretty much recked in a similar case to you with things like WiFi. Thankfully neither of them have bad outbursts anymore, your present thought are exactly what my parents and so many others have gone through so know that you're doing great. Hope everything pans out well for you🙌🏻
@christine.b.k 3 жыл бұрын
This all sounds like a very challenging thing to handle and a difficult time for Anna, Andy and you. It’s unbelievable that the mental health hotline couldn’t send an ambulance, that is what I had assumed would happen. You’d think they have emts trained for these types of situations, that they could also deliver meds if need be in a case like this. I hope you and Anna can find the best solution for all of you and don’t beat yourself up about what has gone wrong - you’re doing the best you can! PS: this is super not important but Dave’s shadow cracked me up.
@stefanhannesson1978 3 жыл бұрын
Head up, Kev. You're all doing so well, we're all here for you and support you.
@noahdron6 3 жыл бұрын
Me: reads the title Also me: confused Me at the end of the vid: phew Andy's not in jail
@JigglyRuff 3 жыл бұрын
This came up on my recommended feed so I've had 20 minutes to listen to your story, I feel for you on this one, I hope you all get the help you need, I went through so much with anxiety and depression as an autistic person like myself so nower days I actually do my best to sharing out my stories based on my autism experiences and one of the reasons why I've gotten into music production and Djing and I actually started writing music now based on my experiences. My saying is never let a learning disability hold you back as there is way of battling it.
@FlappyHandsAndStims 3 жыл бұрын
Well done for talking about this Kev, my grandparents would do pretty much the same for me when I was a teenager - sometimes when you're in a crisis you need help, whether that's from the police, ambulance service or anyone else. If anything this goes to show how much the Mental health crisis teams are failing the people who need them. Due to funding - It's such a shame that all they could tell you is to phone the police instead of offering any sort of support for him. Going without mental health help is horrible, I cannot imagine how Andy is feeling at the moment. Hopefully things look brighter for you guys and Andy soon. Xx
@judrops6552 3 жыл бұрын
Oh Andy 😞 poor you. I can see and hear the sadness as you speak. This must be so difficult. We are with you whatever happens 🧩💕
@75maxdv35 3 жыл бұрын
Kev, don’t worry. it was completely understandable what you had to do, it was for Andy’s own safety and yours. The police can be great people. as an autistic person myself, I can completely understand what Andy was going through as with all the changes going on. I hope things get better for you
@the.evilducky 3 жыл бұрын
I think people who have never dealt with these types meltdowns can truly understand how heartbreaking it is to hear this. I am so sorry that all three of you went through this and I hate you feared people's reactions to this because you and Anna did what you thought was best for your son. Hugs, love and strength to you and Anna right now. And I hope all the support that Andy needs gets sorted ASAP.
@TheHamsterLoverx 3 жыл бұрын
You took the steps to keep you and Andy safe - that’s completely admirable. I’m glad you were humble enough to ask for help. Sending you love and wishing you peace in whatever you decide going forward.
@joefisher8232 3 жыл бұрын
What an incredibly brave video, Kev, and a real insight into living with autism. I can't be the only one who learned something from this. Big love to all the family.
@peter15bisexualboy88 3 жыл бұрын
Honestly, getting internet in the UK is such a pain at times. 2 years ago when we moved it took the whole summer for us to get internet.
@peter15bisexualboy88 3 жыл бұрын
@EVA BELLI Uh, it is though?
@jamesshone1677 3 жыл бұрын
@EVA BELLI 1:10 "we had a few issues getting the Internet set up"
@ari9334 3 жыл бұрын
I'm glad you chose to release this video, it helps spread awareness 💛
@fans9695 4 ай бұрын
i can't imagine being in the exact spot that you felt like you have no choice but to bring 999 on your kid. life can be tough
@PressingForwardFM 3 жыл бұрын
Fair play to you Kev - this must've been really difficult to record so massive props to you for that. Sure whatever you do will be the right thing - all the best
@hubbzyy 3 жыл бұрын
You have a fantastic speaking voice. This is the first video of yours that I’ve seen. Hope you’re all ok and you sound like a great father. Lots of love
@johnathonwilliams2072 3 жыл бұрын
Wow, incredibly brave of you to upload this, Kev. Can't imagine what you're going through. Well done for raising awareness and for sharing your experience.
@alfiejones6908 3 жыл бұрын
Really do feel for you all. The emotion behind this video is so real. Please stay safe and hopefully Andy will have a better week
@temple_123 3 жыл бұрын
My older brother used to have meltdowns like that all of the time. Sometimes every night of the week. From the age of sixteen onwards he was impossible to deal with. At the age of twenty one we got him into a really good residential house of his own with a team of staff to help him 24/7. He still visits every weekend, but he's doing so much better in an environment where the people caring for him can give all of their time to him. The home environment was too difficult because we were always tired and my parents had to divide their time between work and him, and sometimes my other siblings too. The transition period was rocky for him but overall, it was the right decision. It took so long to get him proper care, so you should start early
@boobooap71 3 жыл бұрын
I am going through the same thing. I’m right behind you guys. Really hoping for positive outcomes for all of you. Thinking of you all .
@Mycraftyshack 3 жыл бұрын
I've been battered black and blue by my autistic son and its amazing how strong they actually become during a melt down,I hope you make the best decision for all of you.
@ollypotter4216 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing Kev, I can’t imagine how difficult this was to make for you. Means a lot to hear you open up like you do.
@dilloncrawford1726 3 жыл бұрын
Kev don’t beat yourself up please.
@JTSOriginals 3 жыл бұрын
@@robert2646 Not okay to joke about.
@JTSOriginals 3 жыл бұрын
@@jakedudley5457 This really isn't a place for jokes. If you watched the video you'll understand. I hope Kev blocks you from the channel. Be considerate and mindful of the difficulties Kev's family have to go through sometimes, please.
@JTSOriginals 3 жыл бұрын
@@robert2646 That is NOT funny. Andy was in distress. Do not make jokes of those in distress.
@JTSOriginals 3 жыл бұрын
@@robert2646 Go somewhere else, please. You're not helping yourself here. Be aware that Kev blocks every negative comment or comments that are making fun of his son. And rightly so he should do that.
@JTSOriginals 3 жыл бұрын
@@robert2646 Family isn't all about blood. Stop making jokes about this.
@callumplays5723 3 жыл бұрын
Im glad KZfaq recommended this yt vid, it really taught me a lot
@summer1rose 3 жыл бұрын
That's such a hard and painful story as a parent and as a person. I appreciate your sharing it so much. It's very real and raw, and that's something that is unfortunately rather rare on the internet. My most positive thoughts go out to you and your family.
@wyllowyck2826 3 жыл бұрын
It's not easy being a parent of an autistic child. It's overwhelming at times. There isn't an instruction manual because they're each is unique in their own way. Just stick to your guns and do the best you can do. You're an amazing father to Andy. I'll be praying for strength for you and Anna.
@ashleighh6556 3 жыл бұрын
I have an autistic brother and due to his meltdowns we have had to replace alot of TVs, phones, computers etc his bedroom walls have had to be replaced along with his door. He used to be very violent towards me if I tried to support my mam during his meltdowns, he would beat me up often then suddenly one day during a meltdown he punched me full force in the back of the head and everything went dark around me, I was dizzy and lathargic, he almost knocked me out so I had no choice but to call the police, enough was enough the violence was too much and too often. He was taken to the police station where they calmed him down and my mam picked him up an hour or so later. The police were very helpful. We have called the police three times in total and they've always been great with him, he's 22 now and hasn't been violent towards me for quite a few years because after that incedent he knew I wouldn't hesitate to call the police. He still smashes his own things and sometimes puts a hole in his wall but he's slowly getting better at managing his anger. You did the best thing by calling the police for your family and your son. Anybody that criticises you clearly hasn't been in your situation.
@victoriax1002 3 жыл бұрын
I understand you babe, my brother is the same ❤️
@RobertoRiosbiz 3 жыл бұрын
I had to call the police on my 57 year old autistic brother he was about to destroy my living and dinning room as soon as I noticed the odd behavior I quietly walk into the bathroom and called the police. It was very scary to see him act out like that I don’t feel safe in my own home and will not have him over unless there’s some else in the apartment.
@Bigtobberr 3 жыл бұрын
I’m happy that police was so nice and supportive towards Andy nice to hear
@Bloodygeek1 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing, as someone who works in learning disability, this gives me a invaluable insight into the incredibly difficult situations faced by parents/cares at home. I hope this moved everything along for you and you get some support ❤️❤️❤️
@thewatsonfamily8969 3 жыл бұрын
U and Anna are absolute saints! I work with children with severe and complex needs and know the difficulties u face. U are both amazing parents and doing a fantastic job. Andy is an amazing young man and ur daughters are fabulous sisters. Love watching u guys take care 💕
@outside8312 3 жыл бұрын
You can take Andy out to look at churches and trains during lockdown if he doesn't have a school as it would be counted under the education exemption
@charlottevicarage1331 3 жыл бұрын
@@KILLAZ0128 You can for essential journeys.
@244Jackster 3 жыл бұрын
KILLAZ0128 it’s classed as essential as Autism is classed as exemption for certain things to maintain routine.
@antiadam666 3 жыл бұрын
@@KILLAZ0128 considering his condition im sure you could cut the guy some slack for taking out his austic son who i clearly suffering and having problems to try and centre him and calm him down jesus dude
@PaddyCakes1991 3 жыл бұрын
As someone who is autistic and is now a fuctioning 29 year old with a wife and autistic kids. I totally understand how hard this must have been for both you and for Andy. I remember as a young teen I would rely on the Internet alot, I used to have to play my then Fav game (runescape) for an hour before school and I had to check MSN as my friend always spoke to me before school. It only takes 1 small change to really effect someone with autism so I can relate but I feel you did what you had to do. Hope things are a bit easier now things are more normal
@supremexrebel290 3 жыл бұрын
Quick question dude, no harsh judgement but I'm eager for answers why did you have kids when knowing it would be a strong risk of them getting the mental illness passed owned to someone else? I have a speech disorder and it gets serious at times and I wonder if it's the right thing for me to have kids, like am I being selfish if I do?
@qy-exotic7717 Жыл бұрын
@@supremexrebel290 I'm in no way qualified to answer that but if you ask me your not selfish if you want to have a family. You can still live a decent life even with autism or a speech disorder so aslong as you're ready to accommodate it in my opinion go for it
@astonishingpatch 6 ай бұрын
@@supremexrebel290Autism is a developmental disorder, not a mental illness. Also, autistic people have every right to have children if they want to.
@14BWFC14 3 жыл бұрын
So glad you shared this with us Kevin. My heart goes out to you all. You cannot do anymore than you are already doing. Sending virtual hugs to you all. Lots of love you yourself, Anna, Andy, and the girls. xx
@benshaw5825 3 жыл бұрын
Great parents absolutely great parents police did there job it’s so sad that our healthcare system is struggling atm Andy is in amazing hands and with the patience you have it truly is amazing
@emmashistoryspace 3 жыл бұрын
Kev, you sound so defeated towards the end. I really hope you dont feel that way. You and anna are such fantastic parents! Please do whatever is safest for all of you, I'm sure it will work out xxxx
@anthonymacaluso7283 3 жыл бұрын
As a father I’ve got to commend you. My patience is as thin as paper. You are a great man.
@grumpybooks3612 3 жыл бұрын
You're a great parent Kev and this is such a hard situation with no easy solution. I can tell by the way you speak that you care so much for Andy's welfare, and also for Anna's. Please don't see considering a residential option for Andy as something necessarily negative, it could really be the thing he needs to move forward and to give you and Anna the reassurance that both Andy and you guys can be safe, well and happy. Your channel is fantastic at showing the reality of having a teen with autism, and sadly this situation is the reality for many others too - and I admire you for sharing your story - I'm certain you have helped so many people learn more about Autism and everything that goes with it. Stay strong guys x
@jennifermurdock945 3 жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry this happened to Andy and the two of you. It’s all overwhelming. To be putting Andy in residential care is yours and Anna’s decision alone. We don’t know 24/7 in your home but I know you all have gone above for his care. To make that ultimate decision has to be heartbreaking so extra love goes to Anna.
@theunoriginalartist8731 3 жыл бұрын
I hope everything gets better for you anna, andy and dave, yes i had to include dave, everyone has there ups and downs and hopefully everything's up from here
@ryanfjfycbdjvyfuhduvijfhfj9595 3 жыл бұрын
I feel bad that you have to address the fact that people shouldn't be making nasty comments they just shouldn't do it
@tomwhite7022 3 жыл бұрын
That’s the internet bud
@missbone8845 3 жыл бұрын
I’m a transition age social worker in California and i started watching you guys to see how people are supported in other places and then just stayed cuz i like y’all. You guys are doing all things I would suggest. Calling the police because no other services are available is common here especially in COVID. Though it’s a difficult decision and extremely scary (especially here not sure about UK police) y’all did all the right things. I’m glad to hear there’s help coming in getting services sped up. Thank you for sharing this because I don’t think people really realize that this is struggle many families go through all the time. Stay strong y’all are great. Also Dave’s shadow is so cute in the background.
@tracywa6498 3 жыл бұрын
My heart goes out to you all.ill keep Andy and all your wonderful family in my prayers 🙏 Thank you for sharing this difficult chapter in your lives. I pray that everything settels down and improves for you all. Sending Love and Hugs to you all. Your such an inspirational family.💕
@nogzzy2172 3 жыл бұрын
I know it’s a hard decision but no matter what you did, we’re all here to support you
@joshquinn4964 3 жыл бұрын
We're all behind you Kev. I'm autistic myself so I kind of know what you're talking about and understand it. You made the right choice. Even if it was hard.
@Chrisbleach 3 жыл бұрын
Big respect for sharing this. I couldn’t think of anything worse than calling police in on my child. Completely did the right thing for your scenario. Everyone’s safety is a priority. Fingers crossed on the Internet!
@CRW5252 3 жыл бұрын
You are an inspiration Kev, incredible patience and dedication for your son. Credit to you for doing these videos. It has really opened my eyes to the challenges parents/carers of autistic son/daughters face. I'm a teacher so this perspective is invaluable for helping me manage pupils with similar special educational needs to Andy.
@markbowdery 3 жыл бұрын
We are parents with a 12 year old Autistic son. His strength is massively different to a normal boy and my wife can no way restrain him. Even i struggle to try to not injure him or myself with trying to hold him to protect him and others. We have older sons that miss some of our focus and this is so hard to balance out. Our lives revolve around Him and my wife never feels like a holiday as just thinks it will turn out bad due to meltdowns. Its hard to not think of passing our son to appropriate care support when he is older . All our lives are being effected by our son. We feel guilty thinking we could move him out of the household. I really get what you did . Hope you have some good balance.......
@HASBROGAMING-pi3jf 3 жыл бұрын
Stay strong kev I know it's hard to talk about I know its uncomfortable but it needs to be said hope you and the family are coping all right kev lots of love for you all ❤❤
@haggis6540 3 жыл бұрын
Take care Kev thank you for sharing your story. You have been very brave to publish this and lets hope it helps other people in similar situations.
@Mezzle 3 жыл бұрын
Not sure how this ended up on my suggestions, but I'm glad it did. The video shows how much you care for and love Andy. I really wanted to just give you a massive hug when you started talking about residential care. Keep doing what you do, you are amazing.
@nickabuel6433 3 жыл бұрын
When we couldn’t handle my autistic brother with his meltdowns, we had no choice but to call the police to help us restrain him. Shits hard..
@Susanluc59 3 жыл бұрын
Heartbreaking. Everyone is trying so hard, including Andy, but still, there are times when the worst happens. I hope everything works out. EDIT** I was sitting here thinking about mentioning residential care, not in a mean way as I don't want you to block me, I love you guys, but thinking that maybe it would be beneficial for him. I know he is your son, and it is hard to think that doing something like that may be for the best, but Andy is to the place that he needs another level of 'normality' as an adult; not as a child. (I hope I am making sense.) It could be that he might want to take that step to where he is more in control if his decisions, and be treated as an adult by people other than his family. It may be that something like that might be very validating for him. He might like the opportunity to show that he can do things for himself. Either way, I am glad things settled down for you. This must have been so hard, and I am glad no one was seriously hurt, Take care. Love to you, Anna, Andy, Dave and the girls. You will get through this, keep the faith.
@charlottevicarage1331 3 жыл бұрын
The sort of ting I advocate. He needs to learn independance and needs to be recognised as an adult now.
@sabrinaclarke825 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for posting. Incredibly brave and it needs to be shared. Don't beat yourself up. You're amazing parents xx
@marcbailey8954 2 жыл бұрын
Kev, this is a remarkably difficult situation for you and I applaud your bravery for speaking about it so openly. I started watching your channel for FM videos and I guess that searching for help videos for children with autism separately has found common ground subject matter. Keep the faith, stay safe and I hope you and your family are ok. Marc
@ollierose2969 3 жыл бұрын
That is a really tough decision you had to make can’t imagine having to make that, I think you made the right decision to call the police to calm the situation down.
@liamnixon3439 3 жыл бұрын
I understand where you are coming from with all of this I’m autistic myself and I know and understand all the fighting and bruises and everything I used to be really bad and smash the house up over anything from winning on a game to something silly of my clothes having tags on I hope you get the support you need for Andy and I hope you get it all sorted
@gemmills8988 3 жыл бұрын
It's really brave and commendable to post this. Thank you.
@janicelaurin7263 3 жыл бұрын
My heart goes out to you, Anna and Andy. Thank you for sharing this video and keeping it real. I am sorry that your country is having another lockdown. That is going to be hard for everyone. As always, please be safe.
@felixshakespeare132 3 жыл бұрын
keep it up people shouldn’t judge especially if they are not in the same position as you. Maybe guys instead of any hate try think of anything that can help him. KEEP IT UP BRO
@blackcherry3148 3 жыл бұрын
This is heartbreaking. I just about cried at the end when you brought up residential care, but what you said makes sense. With change, comes growth and hopefully he would thrive in residential care once he adjusted to it.
@linvt9891 3 жыл бұрын
He’s not going to thrive , I understand that if there is no other options that people resort to residential care, the thing is it’s not impossible to be haopy there,but the way Andy is I can tell you if he acts like that in residential care he will get pinned down and they will hurt him , Also the people there are not his family so they do not do things out of love they wil treat him as a patient , and even if he does get in a place that sees nice it wil always be a temporary thing because people who work there don’t work there forever ,parents are, i am not talking nonsense , also it happens a lot that when a person is applied to a location they very often are not honest about the living conditions , and if this would happens how would Andy ever communicate this , in anger probebly out of pure frustration, very understandable, and the more reason fore staff to restrain him, there is no love in these places , and that is only the tip of the iceberg, I’m sorry I can very well understand that if the situation gets to points you have no other way, but it stings my heart to hear that he’s going in when he’s 18 preplanned , don’t get me wrong pleas , this really should be a place of last resort , not as a end goal, and abuse happens so so mutch when kids are either adopted or put in to residential care , I feel fore Andy because if this would happens He would not be be able to communicate this, other than act out, they wil hurt him ,they don’t love him ,or they will up his medication so he’s more calm , so he’s not a problem to the staff and others ,and if you double this , ow believe me they will up his medication , that’s what will happens to a kid like Andy in residential care, unless it’s a host family or a family that takes Disabled kids in to longtime care ,those are the nice places ,more often then not, 🙂
@charlottevicarage1331 3 жыл бұрын
@@linvt9891 Redidential care isn't all that bad, and they aren't all like Winterbourne.
@WyattRyeSway 3 жыл бұрын
Every respite and residential care is different. I have ASD and 4 of my brothers do too. One is severe. We exist mostly in the autism community and one of our friends has a son who has thrived at residential care. Another guy I know is about 26, he too has thrived. Each person is different. Don’t make a blanket statement about everyone.
@kerrys367 3 жыл бұрын
You are both great parents, that is obvious in all your vlogs. You did what you needed to do, no more explanation needed. Hope things are better now.
@alexanderwilliamson3907 3 жыл бұрын
Completely new to the channel and I relate a lot to this. My brother has Autism and he had a similar stage where at the age of 15-17 and has been settled in a residential care centre since his 19th Birthday. The physicality and the mental side of it got to the point where it was breaking the family up but now he’s brilliant he loves the ability to do what he wants we see him every week and loves us just the same. It’s a tough thing to do but you know when that time is needed and ultimately helps them with the additional freedom they can get with their own 1 to 1 carer.
@DarkKnight-lx4ib 3 жыл бұрын
I love the way you said "it's really simple really" I don't mean this in a mean way😂😁👍
@DogLover1718 3 жыл бұрын
I can tell how hard this could be I’m autistic myself and I can’t imagine calling the police on an autistic child Especially because some police can not understand autism and make the situation worse some do but not all police do but police have weapons I hope Andy is ok
@wildchild554 2 жыл бұрын
I would be very reluctant to call the police on my son, perhaps more so than others, I remember a few years back he was having a horrendous meltdown it was before he had his diagnosis, I was having to restrain him in the street and four police came up to me they didn't really know what to do, I was getting battered whilst trying to restrain, they did ask if he was autistic and I said he was under-diagnosis and that I just needed to get him home but had to wait till he calmed down a bit but to be honest their presence made him worse as he's scared of them, I can't remember what set him off.
@kimberwright565 3 жыл бұрын
Poor Andy. I think you all have been let down by the people who should be helping you and it’s good that you are talking about it. You all are great parents and deserve a medal. I hope Andy feels comfortable in the new place soon. Stay strong. We are with you.
@tammyv9004 3 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry Kevin. We had to do the same thing several times with our 16 year old son. Its really a hard situation. I'm glad the police were able to help. We explored residential care as well. I appreciate you posting this video as it helps me know we aren't alone.
@curlybobofelia 3 жыл бұрын
Really feel for you guys, hearing the pain in your voice nearly brought me to tears. So sorry you had to go through with that. It’s scary when you have to get the police involved, believe me, I know. 😞 Please don’t feel bad with the possibility of moving Andy to supported accommodation early, you have to think about what’s best for you & Anna as well as Andy. And if there are those trained in supporting him, that would help. If he is used to the change of staff at his respite, that’s great because that’s one issue I know about this field of work, being a support worker. In the Highlands of Scotland, there are no accommodation options available so my 24 year old autistic brother is still living with my parents, having little to no life for himself, especially with the pandemic. Which makes me feel bad for living around 150 miles away from them. But I know when my parents pass, I will be trying to get him into his own supported accommodation so he can have his own life. Take care of yourselves please. Can’t thank you enough for your videos, if only I had them growing up, it would have made myself & my brother feel less alone. ❤️
@wolfgirl5636 3 жыл бұрын
Kev this is a difficult decision for anyone especially a parent but you did the right thing. You tried every alternative, calming him down, calling his social worker, calling the crisis team and when you had no other option you made the best call for everyone's safety and well-being it was unfortunate but necessary. You did the right thing, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
@Themightybossk 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this. I hope you guys get better and safe over the next week and as someone with ASD, your videos continue to be informative and enlightening
@spinalsquirrel1396 3 жыл бұрын
This video is heart breaking. Poor Andy has had so much change. I really hope he starts to cope better. You and your wife are doing an amazing job. Whatever happen next will be the best step for Andy. Stay strong guys.
@charbowness 3 жыл бұрын
You're both so strong, can't even imagine the stress you're under at the moment. Amazing parents isn't even enough to describe the admiration you deserve! The hardest decisions can often lead to the best outcomes for everyone. Stay strong ❤
@chazzerg8567 3 жыл бұрын
Im sorry to hear you and Anna had to go through this. My heart really goes out to you both
@dillbudson3823 3 жыл бұрын
are you okay charles?
@jmilesc 3 жыл бұрын
Respect for posting this - never easy making decisions but you have to all move forward together and do what’s best. Respect.
@wubear260 3 жыл бұрын
Oh no hope you guys are okay? Hope Andy is getting more support. Sending well wishes to you and your family. Keep being yourselves. We are here for you guys.
@JK-sz5tc 3 жыл бұрын
I can only imagine you feel like you are walking on eggshells all the time, please don't beat yourself up you will make up the right decision what is best going forward
@sueg3937 3 жыл бұрын
My first thought was is he ok? I'm watching now, so I'll get my answers. Support for you is always. I've watched it. Breath. You will make the right decision for Andy. This has been made evident by ll the other videos, that you both want what is best for him. You both love him.
@babychickenstudios 3 жыл бұрын
You guys have had it tough recently!! Moving is very stressful, and poor Andy has really struggled with the change 😟 Hope you guys are ok now and that Andy has settled in! You guys are awesome and are wonderful parents to Andy, keep being amazing ❤️
@Palalubong 3 жыл бұрын
You and Anne are brilliant parents! You dealt with Andy’s breakdown in the most appropriate way. Thanks for making this insightful video.
@millacernemusic 3 жыл бұрын
I'm happy his meltdowns are getting better now. And it's great that authorities are taking you seriously. This would've never gone so smoothly in Sweden, where I have the missfortune to live... My thoughts are with you and your family!
@portiaanderson1638 3 жыл бұрын
why is that? im curious because I'm American
@millacernemusic 3 жыл бұрын
@@portiaanderson1638 the higher-ups are often very ableist.
@dokken1212 3 жыл бұрын
Kev, as a social worker do not feel bad about considering ALL options. At the end of the day it is what will lead to the best outcomes for all. Sometimes that can be managed at home with yourselves as carers and sometimes it cannot. Your health and wellbeing is as important as Andy's. So please do not feel bad for considering residential options. Personally, not knowing your situation, it is extremely wise to consider all possible outcomes and find one that benefits everyone as best as possible. Stay safe.
@unpredictableplays6426 3 жыл бұрын
After watching the whole video... Huge props to both you and Anna. I almost cried at the events that has unfolded but I can relate from Andy's point of view. Last meltdown that I have was because I was seriously injured and I could not work for a good few weeks and for some reason, I was super triggered one day to the point I assaulted my mum. Thankfully, the new neighbours called the police and they spoke to both myself and my mum regarding the events. I was in the police car so that I could actually talk my side. I had a warning off the police as well as them fast forwarding my application for adult social support, something that I was turned down for. But seriously, please please please do not beat yourselves up. Hopefully, Andy starts to adapt to the new surroundings. I know it will take time as that is a lot of change for him :( One day at a time Kev :) You've got this!
@lyuc8956 3 жыл бұрын
Hearing this has upset me, I really hope you're all okay. Hes such a good lad & it's a shame he got upset to that level but these things happen. You're great with him & he is lucky to have you both x
@MAXMCGOWAN968 3 жыл бұрын
It’s so sad to have to see you guys making this decision. I can’t imagine what it’s like for parents to have to make such a tough decision.
@paulfarr2795 3 жыл бұрын
My mom called the police on me when I was younger. She immediately regretted it, but she was at her whit's end. It is hard to know how to address every situation as a parent! I have severe ADHD, and I was a difficult child! I dont fault you for making a hard choice man, good luck. As a parent now myself, I am starting to understand what this process might entail. You have it worse than I had or have.
@TheRojo387 Жыл бұрын
My mother has called the police on me too, intending to have me arrested and even press charges. In my state of mind agitated by Ritalin, I could have been put down then and there. To this day she has no regrets as she used the police from then on, along with other authorities, to bully me into submission. Truly a psychopath, a coward, a liar, and a traitor, seeing as my behaviour was entirely her doing, by enforcing various drug regimens and inflicting physical violence, all in the name of autism support. I hope my story is all the hint you need to unravel Kev's web of lies, realise he did the WRONG thing, violated his son's human rights, specifically to live without fear, and feels NO regret nor remorse and would absolutely do it again, not just for his kin's safety, but on a whim.
@lukenicholson7456 3 жыл бұрын
Keep strong Chapmans. We're all fully supporting you❤👍
@patriciahowellcassity767 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video. I am amazed when I watch how you move through these issues and when they were in my life, it was really this hard for my family. Your more balanced in your approach than I was. It’s all difficult. Blessings to you all.
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