"Lets not be an empire who sells its people, let us be an empire who loves its people" Sub, follow, donate to make me forget this line 🤣🤣 ►Join SubscribeStar! www.subscribestar.com/jlongbone OR ►Donate! www.paypal.me/BoneyLong ►Rumble rumble.com/c/c-2367322 ►Twitter twitter.com/JonsLongs

"The real Kangz were the friends we enslaved along the way"

"She will now understand pain of being surrounded by nothing but other women." 💀

"Let us not be an empire that sells its people". They were not. They were a kingdom that sold other kingdom's people.

Poe's utterly defeated "FUCK" when the Briona moment finally ran into his brain is the highlight of my day.

The guy who betrayed his country and let his best friend die ended up getting used by a girl he likes, being left alone to die in a strange land and didn’t get a girl in the end. That’s what he got for being a simp.

So the gay man is historically accurate :”in the Dahomey Kingdom in Ghana, males who were castrated during rituals served as royal wives within the upper courts. These eunuchs were regarded as more female than male and occupied influential positions in the courts, thus granting them extensive power over the Kingdom.” I figured he was a eunuch lol

I’m glad I’m far from the only one who thought that Wakanda looked more like an overpopulated shanty town than anything even remotely close to being Afrofuturistic. Oh wow, your one train system runs on magnetic rails. _WwwwoooooOoOoOoOoOo_

We've been asking for a historical film about a precolonial African kingdom for years and hollywood answers with "this."

Imagine a "historical" movie about plantation owners saving slaves from the evil Underground Railroad.

"Run! They're coming for the child support!" 😂

As an African i have a hard time taking this film seriously. It's just ridiculous. Your commentary makes it so much better.

Also what's funny is that, this film takes place in 1823. The French banned the slave trade in 1818.

Wouldn't a Woman King just be a Queen?

"People call me racist... I can't even drive." -Bilbo Baggins

Let's say, hypothetically, I am a barbie girl. Okay let's even say I'm in a barbie world. Right so, in this scenario, I would obviously know from personal experience that life in plastic is fantastic. Wouldn't it be reasonable to assume you could brush my hair and undress me literally everywhere? Imagination; you can derive from the fundamentals of basic logic that life is your creation.

I was listening to this in my pool and nearly drowned from involuntary laughter. The part where 2 African nations fight and then completely unprompted have a conversation about America… not any of the Arab nations with FAR FAR larger slave trades was hilarious. Also 1800 Ru Paul I believe was supposed to be a Eunuch but the movie ironically also had no balls so they went with the coded approach.

"ever since slave times".... So, right now? There are more slaves in the world NOW than ever before in known history. Thank Islam.

28:13 Note they also portray feminine Black women (The Queen) poorly too. There’s only one narrow view of Black women this movie supports. 🤔

Viola Davis: You do not remember me? African Mark Henry: I don't even know who you are?

Why is it so damn hard for Hollywood to accept that not all African empires should be idolized? WHYYYYYYYYY???? I already knew what to expect: girlbossification, men bad women good, slavery very bad (except when we do it because of reasons that totes aren't hypocritical in any way). But when that chick at the end said "Breonna," that was when I rolled my eyes hard enough to see my suspension of disbelief get sucked away into a black hole. I am always down to see representation of African and African-American people in the media. What I am NOT down for is some sanitized, sparkly-safe version of "history" that won't get the Twitter Gremlins up in their fee-fees. As we all know, history is brutal. Some historical figures did some shit that would make the likes of the KKK turn the bottom of their white robes brown (I still shudder when I think of what the Aztecs, Mongols, and yes, even the Dahomey, did to their victims). All in all, this reaction made me gigglesnort. You four had more chemistry than everyone in the movie combined. Can't wait for the next one!

Am I crazy or did Poe say someone ate his rabbit and dumped the bones on his dad's porch? Wtf kinda anime villain origin is that bro LMAO.

I suspect the whole reason this movie exists is that they wanted a film that would be for black people what Mel Gibson's "Braveheart" was for Scottish Nationals. Which was a film that became basically their "symbol" of their whole movement. Now, Braveheart has just as many historical inaccuracies and ridiculous contradictions as Woman King, don't me wrong. But when you start looking at the truth of William Wallace, he still works as a hero for the Scottish Nationals and their ideals. So, the gross inaccuracies can be overlooked. The Woman King, not so much. The real woman behind the king is grossly against ideals that various black liberation and black national movements espouse. So, she doesn't work as a hero. If they really wanted this to be a great movie, they could have had one of the kingdoms that were attacked and almost annihilated by Dahomey.

John Boyega definitely found his niche in feminist Hollywood - supposedly playing a big role, while really being a useless buffoon to make generic strong female characters look good!

"I feel bad because the actress is clearly giving her best here. It's like trying to cook a 5-star meal with dry Ramen packets." So funny. Best line I have heard in some time.

When I saw the posters and trailers my first thought was "Finally they make a movie about African history! I might actually see this one!" Then I looked up the history, and wished I had never been so optimistic.

What people get wrong is a lot is that the Dahomey women soliders did, in fact, try to suggest selling palm oil instead of slaves, but ultimately either didn't make a convincing argument or just dropped it because they kept selling slaves regardless. To assume the Dahomey were the ones to end slavery in their kingdom instead of the French is crazy.

I’m still blown away by the fact the love interest threw away his life, ensured he could never go home, let his best friend be murdered, and made himself a traitor to his country and possibly others for a ONE NIGHT STAND! Even if he was taken in as a consort or something for the small girl(since mama is the ruler now and they do whatever they want) that would’ve been better than “Welp we fucked so uh…bye forever.”

I never knew Africans mastered lucha libre and MMA before they were even invented. Another banger for the kangs in Hollywood.

“The Woman King will Return, in the Colonizer Saga.” -Marvel Studios

Reality is they fought to prolong the slave trade and were wiped out almost immediately in their first battle. Nothing about them deserves praise.

Carl's take on Shape Of You at 48:00 was the best part of this reaction, Iaughed so hard to it! 😂😂

“And the Americans have seen if you want to hold a people in chains, one must first convince them they are meant to be bound.” -King Ghetto, Slave Lord

Between the 2 wars the Dahomey fought with the french, the French only suffered about 97 KIA at the hands of the dahomey. Dahomey lost over 6,000.

Could you imagine getting shot in your own apartment and literally a year later a movie about real life tribe of women that lived 100 of years ago (who also were 100% involved in slave trade) name drops you in the end credits? It be like Adolf Hitler saying George Floyd name in a movie that show the Nazi’s we’re anit racist against Jews.

Well, over the last 20 years the white americans got to experience european and american culture being subverted in movies to "suit a modern audience". Now black americans can experience that as well. So maybe now we can all hold hands now and say together "maybe Hollywood is just really shit at everything".

Reminds me of this chick in a class I had to take who made a presentation about how African Americans are treated in the US (her words, not mine). She talked about how she didn't understand why some black Americans were Christian because according to her, the Bible endorses slavery (I've read it, it doesn't); then proceeded to say that the cross was ripped from the Egyptian ankh, even though 1. The cross is taken from crucifixion, a method of execution used by the Romans and others, which is how Jesus was killed and 2. Egyptians aren't even of Sub-Saharan origin, like she is, so Idk what their ancient culture-which they don't even practice anymore, being a country with a Muslim majority-has to do with her. She also seemed to idolize Mansa Musa, which okay I guess-he _was_ successful at some point during his rule, but he also had hundreds, if not thousands of slaves, which totally contradicted her "message." And he was Muslim too, which I only bring up because she was promoting native Sub-Saharan religion (Idk which one, she was really vague). She went on about how they used to be kings and queens (I swear, I'm not even joking, this is 100% what happened), meanwhile I was thinking, "Actually, it's likely _the people who captured and sold your ancestors_ who were the kings and queens, and their slaves who ended up in the Americas." I'm a history enthusiast, and you have no idea how hard it was holding my tongue (because it's not a debate class, the audience is supposed to listen and not interrupt) instead of immediately correcting all of the ahistorical nonsense coming from that girl's mouth. The whole lecture was a mess of ignorant contradictions. I wasn't angry, only perplexed and dismayed. This is how thoroughly our education system has failed us.

I want to point out that the French lost basically nobody during the campaign against the Dahomey people, and completely massacred the slavers in melee combat. People keep saying 'b-but guns!' and don't realize the French just laughed at them, walked up, and beat/stabbed their whole army to death. They were so pathetic compared to French soldiers that the French didn't even want to waste ammunition on them. The French just clubbed and stabbed them down. It should be in history as one of the most disrespectful victories in warfare. To understand just how insane it was, the Dahomey lost 125 people for every 1 Frenchman that fell. The French lost a total of 16 people in the first war, and the Dahomey lose *2000.*

That poor young man at the end, slowing coming to the realization, that a lifetime of being angry at whitey for slavery was just dashed expertly by the likelihood that his own kin contributed to said slavery was interesting to listen to. I wish him well on his journey, there are a lot of uncomfortable truths out there about how it's really been. But keep it all in mind, you are not responsible for what the past has done.

37:39 I feel bad for the baby actor. Not because for this "tearjearker" scene, but because they're mom forced the little one to star in this god-awful movie.

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. But together we can stop that...

Fun fact about the Dahomey. They actually outnumbered French forces and had more guns. But because they were primitive savages they were shooting from the hip. Whilst the French and their African Auxillaries were aiming their shots. So the Dahomeys were missing all their shots.

"I just realized she's wearing a mohawk. I want to leave." 🤣🤣🤣

When the Dora Milaje built the first space ship out of bananas and slave bones and went to the moon, I was thrilled to finally be viewing the true history of Black excellence (Edit: Forgot to capitalize Black.). But when they left that pack of Kools on the lunar surface as a tribute to Brionna Taylor, I wept guilty white tears. Da Homie (and Da Homegirl) Forever!

ok so, the director of this film also did love and basketball, the story and screenplay was done by two white ladies, and viola's husband and another white lady were also the producers. just thought i bring it up cause it might explain a lot with this movie

"Delectable African chocolate and French pastry". I am deceased! Good job all, but BurstAngel was MVP by a long way 😂

If she's trying and failing, its not 'him fumbling', it's HER fumbling. If a man was asking a woman out and she says no, i wouldn't call that her fumbling to get a date lol. I'd say he failed. If her material isn't landing that's her problem, not her targets.

8:30 "no, she will now understand the pain of being surrounded by nothing but other women" *dies* XD

13:35 The subtitles say "We fight for the homie" fuck i dead 💀💀

For a movie that is 100% lies and misrepresentation it's a big cherry on top to "honor" Breonna Taylor

I mean they coulda did a movie about the Queen of Kush that fought against Egypt and Rome. That really happened. It was a pretty interesting part of history that people gloss over. Kush lost some land, but the Queen negotiated and won her terms and got a peace and trade agreement for like 300 years. She protected her people. I think she's way more interesting than this stupid f@ckin' movie.

"Let us not be an Empire who sells its people." "Let's be an Empire that sells everyone we don't consider part of our Empire. And our Empire is a very select and small club."

You know a movie is bad when JLongbone and her friends' reaction is more entertaining to watch than the actual movie. Then again, they themselves are also actually funny in general. So maybe it's a combination of the two.

Historically accurate gay dude though, the only thing he was missing was the umbrella he carried for the king.

Woman King: The movie that proved that you could make a movie glorifying literal slaveowners, if those slaveowners were black women. and nobody would care.

One of the worst things is that there are still people defending this movie

Gotta love how JLB opens a steam and her friend just IMMEDIATELY dives into a tangent about having malaria

Oh, look it's that movie that tries to gaslight people into thinking the Dahomey were unwilling participants in the slave trade, and didn't actively stab their own countrymen in the back for profit! 😅

Wait a fucking minute it tooks me 38 minute and 45 second to realize that this is not Black Panther 2

I am so ready to see this. Didn't see the movie but if JLongbone and her friends are seeing it, then it just makes it better.

There’s no way the Breonna thing actually happened. Good God.

I'm just enamored by all that slashing, and yet, there's not a SINGLE drop of blood.

I want to know how high the producer was to name this movie “The Woman King.” You’re either a king or a queen, but we all know why they went along with that title, huh.

4:06 so my boyfriend is a former wrestler with experience in choreographing woman v man matches, specifically trying to make it believable and compelling. and when I asked him how he'd improve this interaction he said "1: holy shit, that's a _botch!_ she didn't even clear his shoulders." and "2: What would have worked better was a Tornado DDT. because it's flashy and easier for the woman to run at the guy, grab his arm to get UP and around his shoulders, and with her elevation, take the back of her arm around the back of his neck and make it look like she snaps her momentum downward to DRIVE HIS FACE INTO THE GROUND. It can look devastating." The back-of-the-arm-into-the-ground is the "DDT," the "Tornado" is the up and around the shoulder momentum flurish. Me: "But she needs to keep moving forward in the scene, how would you accomodate for that?" Him: "Does she know a kip-up?"

OMG that thumbnail 🤣

8:30 Me and my mom both laughed hysterically at this. My mom actually said, “That would be my worst nightmare!” 😂

Whips and Chaaaaains call back was gold. So when do we get a Woman King vs Karen crossover?

As an East African I also hate the media making every African sound Nigerian lol God this movie is a meme.

25:18 Wait, does that big guy have the wrist of her sword-hand firmly gripped in one of his hands, so he has assumed control over the ONLY thing that makes her a threat to him, and rather than stab or slice her in a vulnerable spot while she has no means to block, he chooses to use his weapon to chop down on the sword to disarm her? The weapon he already rendered temporarily useless since he had her grappled? There are so many times in this fight where he could have easily killed her even if he wasn't a taller and broader guy with 100lbs of additional muscle over her and clearly being choreographed to be as effective a warrior as an elderly old man with Alzheimer.

23:38 The judges would have also accepted "a combination of rich, dark chocolate and creamy French vanilla."

“You will now understand the pain of being surrounded by nothing but other women”! 😂🤣😅

My favorite part was when the strong waman King said "Its slavin' time" and enslaved all her tribe's enemies

21:12 Every bullet they waste means another person they have to sell into slavery - stunning and brave!

*The best thing is that Twitter can't even say that this video is racist.*

I'll be in the next video where we riff on the prequel, The African Queen

The Real Ending! Slaves Of The Woman King: DAMN THESE RUSTY CLAMS, DAYDREAMIN ALL THE DAMN TIME, INSTEAD OF ACCEPTIN DEFEAT!!! The French: *watches the women soldiers dying on the ground and having daydreams of victory* Poor things, thinking they could win! Woman King: BREANNA!!! The French: WHO THE HELL IS THAT?!

the father guy is the best character in the film is so faithful to history "i'm crying what a beatiful performance"

We wuz kangs Kang the conqueror taught us to be empowered

This movie is about as authentic to real history as The Patriot was about the british-american war, LOL. Dahomey were slavers same as Oye, in fact they were the biggest suppliers of slaves to the europeans. They worked with the dutch, actually. And female warriors existed, that is true, they were more like bullies with privileges though. Most of them were conscripted and could not marry or have kids. They used their rights to loot and abuse lower class citizens. They then lost their first significant battle when the dutch took over, and that was pretty much it for them.

This video is perfect I feel like I’m watching this with my actual friends. It’s kinda crazy how y’all don’t miss a beat at all. 😂 need more of this!!!

I swear J's laugh cured the cancer being exposed to mere clips of this movie gave me. She truly was the Woman King after all. And she was a good friend.

I still can’t believe this movie didn’t get an Oscar - it fell off the delusional tree and ticked every box on the way down! Did they really let a little problem like rewriting history and erasing cultures stop them? Naaah, they probably just had enough of Viola Davis already - I know I have!

JLB’s video is gonna be incredible and this wack movie is probably gonna make me completely insane! Remember everyone we can end racism, one historical rewrite at a time.

this shit has 95 critic and 99 audience score on RT how anyone trusts that site is beyond me

They're the good guys and they also have slaves, but white slave traders are bad guys? BlackLightJack created a term for that, but I don't remember was it called "validation bias" or "inclusivity validation."

When I saw the first trailer I didn't know anything about the subject. And I assumed that it would be vaguely accurate if not a bit exaggerated. I didn't think it would be a case of serious downplaying.

At first when I heard you guys saying "the dance of the homies" I thought it was just a random riff, then when Nanisca said "For dahomey!" I just couldn't!! 🤣🤣Jesus, the jokes are masterful and it's not like you even have to try, the movie gives you everything, the memes just create themselves lmfao.😂

I want the full version of “I’m in love with Dahomey”

The writers are aware the US stopped importing slaves in 1808, right? Right?

OMF. This was entertaining. I would love to see a commentary group watch of some South African native tribal people watching this shit and giving it a piece of their mind

48:12 The Shape of You joke is so hilarious.. I couldnt contain my laugh

Honestly, I can't look past the fact that the one French guy is college Harry Styles from After (32:43) They got some A-listers and then went, 'ah, that guy from the movie produced by Wattpad Studios isn't doing anything, let's get him involved' - but at least live-action fanfiction might not be the most embarrassing part of his career now, so there's that.

I'm pretty sure the white guy is supposed to be portuguese, not french. They're speaking (or rather attempting) portuguese in their first scene. The portuguese were the biggest slavers amongst the europeans, but by this point they pratically didn't have slavery in their homeland and Brazil, where most of their slaves would actually go to, was just fighting their war of independence around the time this movie happens.

For.. real tho.. do Africans not feel offended? Why everyone always sound like they are from Nigeria and want to know if you know da whey😂😂😂? Is this not stereotyping???

You know? I legit didn't know about the necrosis that would've happened from the tooth until Burst said something about it. Then again, I haven't seen this movie and wouldn't have considered putting a friggin shark tooth into my hypothetical child's shoulder like Viola Davis did, but hey, the more ya know I guess. And then I looked up what necrosis looks like and I don't think I'm sleeping tonight. Thanks, Burst. Also I noticed Poe thought of the Ice Spice lyric before the obvious Garmadon quote that woulda fit: "How could I ruin your life? I wasn't even there." Disgusting. I'm kidding, Poe. You were great. The rest of you guys were great too, as usual.

The editing on this and the jokes are just... Amazing.

You can easily slap a Marvel Logo to this with the tagline: "Before the Black Panther there was the Woman King"

A Google search shows that a lot of people are saying that the post credit sequence is a tribute to Brianna Taylor.

Wahmen Kang: THE GREAT BATTLE OF DA CHILD SUPPORT AND BABY DADDIES!!!

You would hope that when you are given a script that has 90% of its characters be African,aneffort would be made to make more of the characters actually africans with real accents or have at least couched these goons on how to execute one of the 30 African Accents.