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Wedding Planning in a Pandemic | Hannah Witton
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Күн бұрынI'm getting married soon!! We actually had everything organised at the beginning of this year and then... pandemic. Let's chat about how I've been replanning stuff, and ALSO about your other questions - can a wedding be feminist? How much will it cost? WILL I SHOW YOU THE DRESS?
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@003Astrid 4 жыл бұрын
I'm also getting married this year. And COVID has actually been a positive to that situation! I have a quite strained relationship with my family and don't really want them there. So being able to blame the pandemic if they ask is great! 😅
@hannahwitton 4 жыл бұрын
Decent
@Claire_Fenby 4 жыл бұрын
Yes! Our wedding got cancelled due to COVID so now we’re just eloping next year and can avoid all of the toxicity
@spriddlez 4 жыл бұрын
I was thinking about that. I know a ton of people who's family pressured them into large weddings with the entire extended family in attendance when they wanted a smaller one. I was thinking 'those people probably would have enjoyed the forced person limit at least'
@DerZerberos 4 жыл бұрын
Same here.... Tho getting married start of next year so COVID might not be in effect then but the less family can come the more chill the wedding would be ... :D
@zapkvr 4 жыл бұрын
Good for you. I'm not a believer in the institution myself but I'm happy youre happy.
@fivebyfivewhat 4 жыл бұрын
Wedding advice: as soon as you can after the wedding get together with Dan and write down everything you remember about the day. You forget SO quickly as it can be such a blur and it's lovely to look back on :)
@erika_7777 4 жыл бұрын
I heard of a couple that had some alone time after the photos before they were presented together at the reception, and I think that's lovely! They had a bite to eat and a drink, then just got to talk and reflect for a moment before jumping into the party.
@haironfire907 4 жыл бұрын
Hannah: "Haha, we beat the system!" Corona: "Hold my beer"
@hannahwitton 4 жыл бұрын
basically
@laurenslibrary7601 4 жыл бұрын
It's funny because corona is a kind of beer
@XSemperIdem5 4 жыл бұрын
@@laurenslibrary7601 sales of Corona beer were down at the beginning of quarantine for, obvious and ridiculous reasons 😂
@NikitaInArcady 4 жыл бұрын
I love that you categorise questions in q and a videos 😂
@hannahwitton 4 жыл бұрын
it helps my brain
@marthacampbell6188 4 жыл бұрын
How about emerging together from a trap door like in the theatre? 😂
@hannahwitton 4 жыл бұрын
Oooh I love it
@ThatRomyKate 4 жыл бұрын
Or get flown in on a wire like Peter Pan? 🤔
@byt4n 4 жыл бұрын
Alternative for a budget wedding: A friend of mine had a pot luck wedding, where the asked all the guests to bring food and alcohol for everyone to share! They had made a spread sheet where the guests could fill in what kind of food they were bringing (appetisers, mains, or deserts) and for how many. That way they got a really nice big buffet of things and saved a lot of money. And it worked so well with their style and the vibe of the wedding over all!
@zapkvr 4 жыл бұрын
I LOVE IT
@Narnendil 4 жыл бұрын
We had family bake lots of cookies and cakes because we didn't want to have dinner and alcohol. It was great!
@Professarlector 4 жыл бұрын
Alternatives to the traditional walking down the aisle: You both do WWE style wrestling entrances but it’s less about your huge muscles and that you punch good and more just positive things about both of you. Unless you do want to hype up your muscles and fighting prowess.
@elenagarciabroock2356 4 жыл бұрын
This is honestly the best.
@spriddlez 4 жыл бұрын
Much less entertaining but I was thinking you could both come in from the sides and meet at the altar too.
@Picklescape 4 жыл бұрын
Holy cow I love this! Suggesting this to my fiance!
@juliettehamelle1747 4 жыл бұрын
I like the idea of both dancing down the aisle to your jam. That way you also do a 2-in-1 with the first dance and walking down the aisle. Unless you want a really choreographed first dance that is.
@TheMrsFreddie 4 жыл бұрын
In Sweden, where I come from, it has always been the tradition that the couple walks down the aisle together. It has always felt so much more natural for me, since if you’re about to enter into a marriage together then you should of course enter into that ceremony together. I remember when I was young and saw my first American weddings in movies and I thought it was so weird that the bride walked in with her father, since he isn’t the one she’s marrying haha
@Narnendil 4 жыл бұрын
Same here with the American movie experience. Also Swede here, last week I walked in together with my now wedded partner.
@MsLifesize 4 жыл бұрын
Yes same in Germany!!! People have started being walked down by their father because of Hollywood movies, but I haaaaate it and really cannot understand why one would adopt this weird patriarchal traditions.
@TheMrsFreddie 4 жыл бұрын
MsLifesize I know right! It’s even more weird to adopt it in other countries to be like ✨in the movies✨
@hannah-davies3154 4 жыл бұрын
I've heard of weddings where the seats are in the middle and then the couple walk from the doors round the seats (one goes left while the other goes right) and meet at the alter, so walking at the same time. Could be an idea.
@LevsOnTheBevs 4 жыл бұрын
Yours and Dan's relationship (from a definite outsider's perspective) is just so pure and beautiful and I'm actually so happy you're still able to get married!
@princesadepresa5396 4 жыл бұрын
Alternative to walking down the isle GAGA SUPER BOWL JUMP FLY FROM THE CEILING
@KaylaLords 4 жыл бұрын
In my first wedding (nearly 20 years ago) my mom “gave me away” in a traditional way. In my second wedding (a few years ago) my kids walked me down the aisle and then stood up at the front during the ceremony to show that we were joining as a family. I didn’t change my name after my second marriage - so I’ve still got my “maiden name” (not my favorite term). I did that partly because name changes in the US are a massive hassle and partly because I felt so good when I got my name back after my divorce that I didn’t want to give it up again. Thankfully the hubs didn’t care at all. And we got married for both the personal/private reasons but also for the legal reasons. I joked that I needed the tax break so he had to marry me. 😂
@paulafi315 4 жыл бұрын
My partner and I were supposed to walk down the aisle together this weekend. I cannot stand being walked down the aisle by the father. Being presented and given away just doesn’t sit right with me. We will, when the day comes, walk in together behind the two pastors (married couple) and we will be followed by all our guests. Having a procession walking in was something my parents did and I just love the idea of starting our marriage with all the people we love literally and figuratively behind us.
@00CinderellaLover00 4 жыл бұрын
Hannah, would you ever be down to teach us how to set up budgets in like Exel or something. I feel like a morehannah spreadsheet tutorial would be fun. Feel free to wear jammies.
@hannahwitton 4 жыл бұрын
Haha I love the jammies
@InGhostlyCompany 4 жыл бұрын
I've never wanted to get married because of walking down the aisle, etc. I never even considered you could just not do it!!
@hannahwitton 4 жыл бұрын
Yupppp the only bit you have to do is say certain words and sign a piece of paper
@InGhostlyCompany 4 жыл бұрын
@@hannahwitton that's actually super lovely to know, thank you so much!
@juliettehamelle1747 4 жыл бұрын
I know! This video has opened up my eyes to a whole new way of doing things...Tbf my partner originally wanted a church wedding, which I was very against, but now doesn't care about how it's done.
@robertmenzies6939 4 жыл бұрын
Hannah your answer to the 1st question about what your looking forward to in marriage was absolutely bang on. After getting married me and the wife fell out for about 3 months before we realised we both thought that things would change after we got married and they didn't. So we just talked about it and worked it out as usual....20+ years later still going strong so clearly a good choice ;-)
@CorinneDemyanovich 4 жыл бұрын
I love your mindset of "whatever happens happens" because that is this year's entire mood... lol I hope everything works out, and I am excited to see whatever you share with us! So happy for you and Dan! :)
@hannahwitton 4 жыл бұрын
honestly, this year has really taught me to not stress about things I can't control and just roll with the punches.
@shnaa_L 4 жыл бұрын
I actually learnt recently that in Sweden the couple walk down the aisle together - its meant to symbolise that they are equals as opposed to the tradition of the bride-to-be being "given away". Thought that was cool
@erika_7777 4 жыл бұрын
That's what I'm doing! Didn't know that was common practice in Sweden.
@WhiteAnnas 3 жыл бұрын
That practice is also presented in Orthodox church, during the wedding ceremony. The man and the woman are equal in front of Jesus Christ :)
@marianneshepherd6286 4 жыл бұрын
Yes please Hannah talk about your dress! Some friends of ours had a closed wedding (meaning although weddings are 'open' ceremonies, they were part of a church congregation where the pastor told everyone beforehand, to not show up unless you've been given an invite to the service) and they walked towards to front of the church from opposite sides so it was a lovely showing 'we are uniting together'. They also managed to change the layout of the church so people were sitting together around tables rather than sitting in rows.
@ragarast 4 жыл бұрын
I never cared about marriage until I met my now partner and it's actually surprising to me how I excited I am about the whole thing. I am not even having an actual wedding because I am not into weddings, but I am going to get a cream (or light colored) rockabilly wedding dress and a veil and I am SO pumped to be a Mrs. So weird. Never thought that would excite me, but I can't wait.
@RebeccaElizabeth 4 жыл бұрын
Uuuh I haven't thought about the title thing - in German it's just "Frau". Never thought about how problematic changing titles could be!
@KateHistoryMysteries 4 жыл бұрын
That was the original intention of Ms.
@Michael18599 4 жыл бұрын
Originally Miss was "Fräulein", like "little woman", who was then upgraded to "Frau" upon marriage.
@chipmunkwarcry 4 жыл бұрын
Ms. didn’t exist as a title for women in English until the 1970ish. I am amazed how recent this was and had previously assumed it had always been around
@flubberamoebes 4 жыл бұрын
@@chipmunkwarcry Not entirely true, it originated in the 17th century but was revived into mainstream usage in the 20th century (Source: www.visualthesaurus.com/cm/wordroutes/hunting-the-elusive-first-ms/)
@MsLifesize 4 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad we don't do the Fräulein shit anymore, but we must remember that there was a time where we did.
@ayamarrow1383 4 жыл бұрын
I have two questions: 1: is there any elements of a Jewish wedding that you are going to include in yours? 2: are you going to change your last names? Is Dan?
@HoneyBee57192 4 жыл бұрын
Myself and my partner did a first game instead of a first dance !
@rosiehodnett5194 4 жыл бұрын
omg that's such a cool idea!
@mevrouwmarloesnl 3 жыл бұрын
Hahaha, that is so cool!!
@niikehayova 4 жыл бұрын
We deliberately met our parents at the wedding (7 years into relationship - even though we had 2.5 year long clean cut break mid-7-years :D). We both know our people really well, and the 2 sets of parents are fire and gasoline combination. We wanted peace at the wedding, so we figured - if they are just meeting then, they will "behave" out of social courtesy. Our plan worked, best decision ever :D
@whyRedshoes 4 жыл бұрын
Alternatives for walking down the aisle: -walk down it together -a lot of times the man comes from a side door situation, no reason the woman can't do that too. You can come from your respective side doors at the same time! Voila! -be in the room at the front before the guests come in. Might have to be up there a while, but you could have chairs to sit on. Stand up and then start the ceremony!
@hay7758 4 жыл бұрын
The couple could also be in the room first, so every guest that walks in gets to see them together at the alter immediately. The couple would get to greet everyone too which seems nice, especially as they'll be the only ones without masks on. :)
@spoonieface8229 4 жыл бұрын
When I got married we walked down together I was very anxious about walking down by my self I dont have a father figure in my life so it worked perfectly the photograph got some great first look photos
@erika_7777 4 жыл бұрын
"First look photos" are such a big thing lately that we decided to do that while everyone is being seated, then we will walk the isle together.
@Jessica-oy9iz 4 жыл бұрын
I once asked my partner why he loved me and his response was "eeerr your face is nice?" 😂 But after watching you video on love languages I know that I don't need to ask that question anymore to check he loves me or make him be nice to me, because he does that everyday when he pumps up my tyres before I cycle to work without being prompted, or greets me at the door when he hears the car return after I go shopping so he can carry the bags upstairs to our flat. Mushy romantic words are unnecessary!
@NataliaDryganets 4 жыл бұрын
We had the cheapest wedding ever, because for us the best party is a party that we shouldn't throw, also we're quite uncomfortable with all this attention to groom and bride. We're together for 7,5 years, clearly we're life partners, what to celebrate? So for us it was like that: we paid for the license, got married on a "non-ceremonial" day in a slightly more fancy clothing than we wear on a regular basis (and we can wear this clothes afterwards). Then we celebrated the event in a cozy coffeehouse nearby and got some hoorays and gifts from friends)) It was still a fun and memorable experience, more about two of us, than about a huge party with tons of guests.
@pegaseg70 4 жыл бұрын
So cute
@ReganNotReagan 4 жыл бұрын
We are getting married this fall and we also “downsized” the wedding. We’re now doing a simple ceremony and a dinner for 16. My top priorities were to 1. Get married 2. Have beautiful photos 3. Look amazing! Which are all things I can have no matter the size of wedding. Having our full guest list would have been wonderful but it’s been such a relief to set aside our big plan and not need to worry about restrictions as much any more. We’re also saving money which feels great. Postponing seemed like only prolonging the unknown since we have no idea what next year will bring. I’m excited to get married!!!!
@flyingfree1992 4 жыл бұрын
I got engaged a month ago and just hope Covid is gone/under control by the time we plan to get married! Its hard getting excited about it when you don't know how the world is going to be.
@Michael18599 4 жыл бұрын
All the Hannah's are getting married!
@erika_7777 4 жыл бұрын
I got engaged almost a year ago, and I've changed my mind on details, and the pandemic has changed some of our plans, but just go with the flow and find the few things that matter the most to you, and focus your energy on those things. For example, we really want to keep our original wedding date, but we have NOTHING ready to go because the pandemic messed up our plans. So instead, we are having a legal ceremony that day, and I will wear a different dress (wedding dress shopping was cancelled until further notice for me), our 1 guest that we're allowed will be the witness and photographer, and we will save all the other stuff for the full ceremony, which we hope will be fall 2021 but we know we might have to be flexible with that. I'm still having fun thinking of what kind of dress, cake, decor, etc. I want, but without the stress of doing it mid pandemic. If I have to wait 2 years for the fun stuff, that's fine. It'll be like a vow renewal!
@admirbarucija2018 4 жыл бұрын
I hope everything goes smoothly with your wedding plans, a wedding is already difficult enough to plan without there being an ongoing pandemic! 💜
@CazAvery 4 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad that we're not the only couple where it's like 'I love you' 'why?' 'erm, you're nice' - so many of our couple-friends are so mushy! I'm getting married *next* year and really hoping covid will be at least more manageable by then (November, so fingers crossed!). But UK lockdown came into effect just after we got engaged so suddenly all our planning came to sudden halt because no where was open to view and loads of businesses were paused etc. frustrating but not the end of the world (especially not in the grand scheme of things). My sister's wedding cost something like £2500 all together - it was tiny and they we're big on any traditions (this was several years ago, not a covid thing). So for anyone looking to plan an inexpensive wedding - really think about what it is you want from the day, because if you're like my sister and brother-in-law all you need is a registry office and pub! I think other than the photographer (although that's not sorted yet) my dress is the most expensive thing and we also agreed to go half on everything except the outfits. Some traditions we're just straight up ignoring, some we're sticking with. We've discussed them and the historical reasons etc, and made the choices. Feminism is about people getting to make informed decisions. I'll be Dr before I get married, but I plan to be Dr Avery and Mrs [partner's surname] for places like the school gates etc.
@Meg.01 4 жыл бұрын
"cuz ya nice" honestly what more do you need
@emilywithers4849 4 жыл бұрын
I love all of Hannah’s one word responses to comments like “good” or “decent”. Honestly we love a strait to the point queen xx
@amyisbored27 4 жыл бұрын
I walked down the aisle and it was great! I loved being able to see everyone as I walked in- there’s just so many pictures of me grinning at all the guests! I did walk down with my dad, wasn’t particularly fussed about doing that but I also didn’t want to walk by myself so I picked him! We didn’t do any official “who gives this woman” nonsense he just hugged me and my husband when we got to the end of the aisle and then sat down with my mum. It was lovely Also I looked fabulous so I wanted everyone to see me lol
@NicoleBanana0605 4 жыл бұрын
We had a beautiful COVID-proof wedding two months ago :) In the Netherlands more people are allowed to get together but everyone did have to keep distance. We did hug our guests if they wanted to but afterwards we quarantined for two weeks with our tent in the woods (this was our honeymoon, it was lovely). Oh and an idea for the aisle question: We each walked up to the "altar" (haha it definitely wasnt a real altar, we got married in the middle of an orchard) with both our parents by our side, so no destinction between male or female but still a special moment being surrounded by the people who brought us here in life. There's no one way of getting married, do what feels right for you and your partner. The day is about honering your relationship and love for eachother:)
@kenziestoneman7141 4 жыл бұрын
Really want to see the pix of the wedding but only show when you are comfortable showing!! Love You 😘
@leventdhiver 4 жыл бұрын
We kinda eloped "thanks" to covid. In the end the wedding was planned within 2 weeks. We cooked for our friends, one of them let us use her beautiful garden, other planed a meaningful handfasting ceremony, one send some mead barrels, I made my dress that morning along witn little shirt collars for our dogs, finally a friend from another city made a cake delivered to us during the dinner. It purred and we had thunder as wedding bells: it was perfect.
@Nataluchi 4 жыл бұрын
THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE IN A REALISTIC FUCKING WAY, this made me SO happy
@olgamartinezlopez5902 4 жыл бұрын
I dealt with a lot of these things when I got married last year! On how to do a wedding cheaply the biggest piece of advice would be: really think about what is important to YOU. And prioritize that. For us, the most important thing was the most expensive one possible: we wanted a big wedding. We had over 150 guests. Counting only my husband's parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, and first cousins, they were 90 people. And this is a super close family where everyone sees each other at least once a month. We also had lots of friends, many of whom were ready to cross the Atlantic to come to our wedding. We wanted everyone there. Then... what to do??? We got married at a friend's house that we borrowed, we bought all the alcohol ourselves, and we hired a guy that does barbecues at people's homes for the food. I did not want a white dress which made that part much cheaper, we did not want wedding rings or engagement rings, so scrap that all together... We had friends help with the decoration and with the music. The one thing I SPENT MONEY on and would do it again one million times: the photographer. I think you can see the photos on a video on my channel, if you're curious. That memory is forever... It was wonderful
@sameatsham 4 жыл бұрын
Can’t wait to see your future wedding videos! I can see there are similarities in what makes us cringe... I would love to do a surprise wedding, have a wicked birthday party and then be like ‘oh btw we’re going to get married now 🥳’
@AvatarBliss 4 жыл бұрын
I’m so excited for you!! One question that wasn’t addressed in the feminism section: are you taking his name/he taking your name/hyphenating? How do you generally feel about that custom?
@serafinassong 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this! I had my dramatic proposal plans foiled by COVID-19 (we were supposed to be on holiday), but I went amended that and got engaged anyway! I am definitely feeling some discomfort about making wedding plans with the whole quarantine situation, even though the soonest we're even considering is two years away.
@swilsey89 4 жыл бұрын
My partner and I have a very similar, practical, no fluff relationship to you and Dan. We're both like, sure I can tell you I love you until I'm blue in the face, but I wouldn't unload the dishwasher without being asked for just anyone lol
@geneventide5314 4 жыл бұрын
Good to hear you're still having your wedding can't wait to see your dress! Also for walking down the aisle, I too find it weird that only one person walks down the aisle, I've always planned to have both people do it! So this is how I would set it up (it probably won't make sense): in an open setting, you have your guests in the middle of the area facing inwards to the aisle in the middle. You have each person walk down the aisle from either side and meet in the middle. That's my crazy idea haha. I'll let you know if it ever works.
@RachelandShona1 4 жыл бұрын
I find the alternatives to walking down the aisle so interesting!! When I imagine my future wedding (lol) I always wonder what I'd do. I don't particularly want to walk down the aisle (right now but I also have NO plans to get married anytime soon lol) but I have the feeling that my Dad would really like to give me away... I wonder if I'd do it as almost a gift to him??? Loved this video, all the best for your special day x
@erika_7777 4 жыл бұрын
You could consider walking down the isle with your partner but still having a father daughter dance. Or your dad could walk you down but not give you away.
@katybechnikova2821 4 жыл бұрын
I don't want to get married but I loooooooooove a good wedding content. Looking forward to the dress video.
@Sophie_Cleverly 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for what you said about feminist weddings! I got married in 2015, basically what we did was go through all the traditions and we ended up dropping some of them, but overall it was still pretty traditional. It probably seems to people that we just did the default, but I'd considered it a lot and gone with what I actually wanted. We actually managed to have a wedding with like 100+ guests for around £2000 😅 we went to the registry office and then had a bring and share buffet in a village hall (we asked people to bring food instead of gifts). But this was also down to having some very talented/generous friends and relatives who made my dress and the cake etc.
@nannyg666 4 жыл бұрын
I love how casual you are about the whole business. Do you remember the episode of FRIENDS where Ross is trying to get Julie to chill about the wedding problems and Monica says something to the effect of "She's been dreaming of this day her whole life, you schmuck!" and we're all meant to agree that Ross was a schmuck? I totally agreed with Ross.
@bethc883 4 жыл бұрын
Getting married (hopefully) a month today. Supposed to get married in April so grateful to even have the chance to do it, and it’ll be a nice day with our immediate family - we’re hoping to do a big party next year depending on what happens!
@hannahjones4475 4 жыл бұрын
Love this. I’m not getting married anytime soon but the thought of walking down the aisle scares me, never even considered that I could just...not do it! Love that you’re doing what is right for you even if it’s not “traditional”, it’s your day after all. Lots of love to you both ❤️
@saana5996 4 жыл бұрын
Yep, I was supposed to be married in August and we postponed. We have family abroad and everything seemed so unsure that we decided to cancel in the spring so we could get all deposits back. Hopefully we're getting married next year. Our walking down the isle solution was to enter the room together, either making an isle and walking down it or entering at the front of the room. In terms of budget, we were going to get married somewhere a bit more remote where just about everything, venue, catering, accommodation, is cheaper than in the city. Our guests would have had to travel anyway.
@erika_7777 4 жыл бұрын
Just booked a venue right before quarantine hit, now planning to have a legal ceremony in November and the "full ceremony" in 2021. We have decided to walk down the isle together almost from day 1, along with ditching many of the other traditions (no giving the bride away, no father daughter dance, no garter or bouquet toss). I told the groom years before the engagement not to ask for my family's blessing/permission either. And I'm also not changing my name. Thankfully our families are fine with these choices (so far at least), but even if they weren't, they are things that we just don't want for ourselves.
@aellalee4767 4 жыл бұрын
Congratulations on getting married! Im not big on the idea of getting married myself. The aisle part is a particular thing I dislike and I never thought about just not having an aisle. I also agree on the not publicly announcing why I love someone. Makes me cringe too thinking about explaining that in front of people.
@angeldelvax7219 4 жыл бұрын
Friends of mine got married a few months ago. The official part could go through without problems (I got to be the photographer!!) but the party had to be postponed. They're planning the party for next summer! If I ever find someone that wants to shere her life with me, I'd love to do a handfasting. It's a "witches wedding" . As a witch we don't really have any gender roles, since we believe we're all the same. And handfasting traditionally is "as long as love lasts" and not "until death do you part" so from that perspective it feels a LOT better to me. So if there is no love anymore, then there is no bond. And if love goes on even after death, then so does the bond! I know it's nothing really that binding, but it just feels better to me. I can only hope that a possible future wife to be would like it too ;)
@AschFish 4 жыл бұрын
In the US, get married on a Friday if you’re looking for ways to save money! Venues and even some other photographers and caterers have different rates for Fridays vs Saturdays 😊
@amara560 4 жыл бұрын
In The Netherlands, where I live, we do not promise 'till death do us part'. We are promising to take care of each other as long as we are married. Which comes down to the same thing you're describing
@angeldelvax7219 4 жыл бұрын
@@amara560 Also depends where in the Netherlands you live :p (I live in Oss...) Last two mariages I attended still were the "traditional" "till death...." I like your version better ;)
@amara560 4 жыл бұрын
@@angeldelvax7219 I'm talking about the official Dutch vows and what is written in the law.
@bethbcrafts 4 жыл бұрын
My husband’s parents are deceased but he had a group of his family at our wedding, and it was the first time they met my parents and family despite us having been together for 8 years. We actually had a cocktail hour in lieu of a rehearsal dinner the evening before the wedding in the hotel bar so family could meet and be more relaxed the next day. Worked out really well.
@SamWest96 4 жыл бұрын
I've been hoping for this video. We got married in July with just our parents present (we were due to get married in April with 60 guests) and it took 4 months for us to start organising, simply because I wanted to research the history of every tradition. After I'd researched we then decided as a couple which ones we wanted to keep because we wanted to and which ones didn't sit with us. It was really interesting for us to look into the history. Fundamentally we got married because of the financial and legal benefits as well as our baby is due next month. That stuff is important to us as a couple, we don't care if it matters to others or not. A feminist wedding is doing the right things for you, with knowledge. If you do what is right for you and what you want, that is feminist
@hannahwitton 4 жыл бұрын
damn! we definitely didn't go as deep into looking at the history of different traditions but that's so cool you did that to get a fuller picture of what you might be signing up to!
@SamWest96 4 жыл бұрын
@@hannahwitton it was important to me to do that for my own mind and my god some traditions are super weird in origin! As long as you're happy with the choices you've made, that's all that matters
@demolitionwoman_OFMD 4 жыл бұрын
Today I learned Brits say "muz" where in the US we say "miz" - so interesting! 🤓 The pics I saw from your celebration look absolutely lovely, congratulations!
@Akikinova 4 жыл бұрын
I walked down the isle myself. I love when the husband starts bawling at the sight of his bride so I wanted that for others (and myself, my husband is such a beautifully emotional human) but I am my own person so nobody should walk me.
@rjfaber1991 4 жыл бұрын
Feeling too young to get married at 28 probably has a lot to do with you being highly educated. There's such a strong correlation with people's level of education and the age at which they get married, it aligns almost perfectly.
@laulutar 4 жыл бұрын
One of the joyt of being married to a spouse from a different country is having an excellent reason to pick and choose which wedding and marriage traditions you like (and keeping them) and those you don't (and ditching those).
@facedelune67 4 жыл бұрын
Hannah : In the eyes of the L... Me : Lord !? Hannah : Law Me : oh yeah, makes more sense 😅 (8:06)
@laura__5544 4 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@lornawheeler5444 4 жыл бұрын
We’ve postponed our wedding twice thanks to coronavirus 🙃 we were originally in May, moved to September and now we’re in May next year! For us we still really wanted the party with our friends so hoping that by May there will be less restrictions!!
@hannahwitton 4 жыл бұрын
Really hope you’re able to have the wedding you want!
@caitlinmccoll2354 4 жыл бұрын
Same! We were originally April, postponed to September, postponed again to November and now we’ve just cancelled until things are more predictable. We really want the big celebration too, so postponing feels like the right decision. Hope May works for you guys!
@sloanewilliams3824 4 жыл бұрын
We ditched several of the "traditional" aspects of our wedding and then kept others. We ditched a lot of the religious aspects of the ceremony but still said vows that were scripted because like you we (or mostly I) do not feel comfortable explaining why I love my partner in front of everyone. We ditched the part were the wedding party walk down together holding hands, since we had only three other people sanding on our respective sides, they got their own time to shine when entering. The other big thing we ditched in the ceremony part was the part of "who gives this person away", so instead we said the line "she gives her self". I wanted it to be very clear that I wanted to get married to my partner not because my parents said I had to but because it was my choice.
@bluejbird410989 4 жыл бұрын
Don’t know how common it is but my situation is the same as yours. My partners grandma had seen my aunt once. And his dad talked to my mom for a few minutes. But other than those interactions, neither one of our families have actually met each other. Marriage is lovely and weird and people expectations are the most trying bit of it for me honestly. Wishing you happiness and safety!
@austenmidland7034 4 жыл бұрын
I love budgeting so much, we're now doing something called forced budgeting 😂 my husband spends a bit too much but we opened another account I'm allowed to just shovel all of what's bills and savings away as soon as we get paid
@narriparri 4 жыл бұрын
I love your mini moon plan 🌺 sounds so cozy
@stephaniestorie5825 4 жыл бұрын
So much in common! We're set to get married in September as well and also were VERY proud at how easily we event planned the shit out of our initial wedding plans (pre-COVID). We're in the US and having a super small version of the same thing we had planned for the weekend with only parents and wedding party now, then a big reception (aka party) weekend next year with all family and friends! I LOVE what Hannah said about taking marriage to be a legal contract and making it mean what you want - that is what was important to me when I was planning and feeling like an awful feminist...I wanted a wedding and to wear a pretty dress and be a woodland princess but kept feeling icky about it because of the patriarchy. One super important thing we're doing is BOTH changing our names to a new shared last name to start our family and share that "name change" burden but still connect us for the future! The anticipation of seeing if Hannahs wedding day will be same as mine and seeing her dress is KILLING ME! lol
@curiousfirely 4 жыл бұрын
I hate that Mrs/Ms still exist in English. Though I *love* that someone else has the same PhD plan as I do! Dr. Is gender/relationship status neutral!
@ShirinRose 4 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I was a Mrs for 5 years, and while I didn't hate it (I do love being married and the "Mrs" reminded me of that), it did make me a bit uncomfortable from a feminist view, so I was really happy to change it to Dr when I finished my PhD. Also, I got married at 20 (two weeks shy of 21), and I'm now 29, so I don't relate to Hannah feeling too young at 28 😂
@Amysreiswaffel 4 жыл бұрын
I like the idea, but doing a PhD to avoid being called Mrs. sounds like A LOT of work. Doing research is so exhausting
@MsLifesize 4 жыл бұрын
So funny that having your doctorate avoids the Ms/Mrs thing, cause it doesn't in Germany. We don't have ms anymore, but when you get your doctorate you'll be called Frau Dr. xxx which is basically Mrs. Dr. xxx. So it doesn't get around the Mrs. Its so interesting how it works differently in every country.
@JudyCZ 3 жыл бұрын
Be grateful you at least have Ms and can technically avoid the Mrs/Miss thing. You can't do that in Czech (my native language) and as a 26year old woman, it has been bothering me for years. Literally one of the things I'm looking most forward to when I hopefully get married. I would kill for a neutral term.
@augustevarkalaite321 4 жыл бұрын
Even though I am a big fan of equality I really love the walking down the aisle thing. The bride gets to be the centre of attention for the long walk, the dad there is just to support her. And the groom looking back smiling, happy to have this wonderful woman by his side hopefully for the rest of his life. And everybody is silent and those people who sad that you’re never going to get married have their tongues tied.
@emilygrace3858 4 жыл бұрын
I would LOVE an in-depth bring it or leave it wedding video - I’m fascinated by how the ceremony will look without vows, and also the reason behind ditching them.
@StrongImaginationA 3 жыл бұрын
Loved the video. As a teenager I thought marriage was not for me because I found it unfeminist, but later on I realized that in rejecting marriage I was still centering the man in the narrative. If you seek out a way to live by your own values as a woman and bringing these values into the marriage, it can definitely be a feminist thing.
@rosiered2951 4 жыл бұрын
I can't wait to see pictures/a video of the dress! Would be great to hear about your selection process
@quiltingtelegraph 4 жыл бұрын
My thoughts re: walking down the aisle, I've always wanted to have 2 side aisles that both parties walk down towards each other, and one center aisle to walk down after the ceremony, together.
@emxmoody 4 жыл бұрын
I cannot tell you how much i laughed at “I think ya nice”
@redditchrulesxx 4 жыл бұрын
My sister is in almost the exact same situation. She got engaged last year, had pretty much everything sorted by Feb/Mar and then Covid happened. She's still getting married in Sept as planned but doing everything on a smaller scale and she has been so so stressed about it all! I hope your day goes just as you want it to and enjoy your mini-moon!!
@MsLazyllama101 4 жыл бұрын
Wedding planning in a pandemic sucks so much. Our original plan was to get married indoors with about 75 people. That's not going to be safe, so now we're getting married in his mom's backyard with just our immediate family members.
@lisamagnussonbiel5695 4 жыл бұрын
You acknowledging that people who like conventional things are valid too is so refreshing. I'm in my early 20, have seriously considered every option, but have in every situation ended up wanting the more "traditional" option. It's hard sometimes because I'm swedish and here my choices are seen as old fashioned, but getting married "young" to someone I love and focusing my life around kids is just what I want. It's nice to hear someone liberal acknowledge that my choices are feminist too, because I'm choosing it. Too much shaming of people who choose what they want, be it traditional or Liberal, happens anyway :/
@WhereTheresAQuill 4 жыл бұрын
I think it's relatively common for parents to not have met each other, especially if you both are from different places in the UK or internationally. I'm getting married in January, and my mum has met my fiance's parents but my dad has not. It's just because my partner and I live in Yorkshire near his parents, but my parents are from nearer Norwich. Very little opportunity for them to meet so the wedding will be the first time!
@hannahwitton 4 жыл бұрын
Yeah Dan’s mum and my parents live SO FAR AWAY from each other so it’s just never happened
@WhereTheresAQuill 4 жыл бұрын
@@hannahwitton Hopefully they don't HATE each other ;)
@liil7463 4 жыл бұрын
I really enjoyed this video. It is comforting (not the greatest thing though) to hear that we were not the only ones who had a wedding planned for 2020 spring or summer. My wedding was supposed to be in May so we had to reschedule it by a year. My best advice for reducing costs is really to consider what is important for the couple with their wedding and what is not so important. For things that are not important, there are cheaper alternatives :)
@xellrope852 4 жыл бұрын
My cousins did a wedding in reverse (they are dinner with all their guests first, speeches as we ate, then marriage bit). The actual legal marriage bit was done by her sister and was only the words that they were legally required to say. Then really really big awesome party. Basically, best low key wedding.
@tracisikkes7916 4 жыл бұрын
I hope that everything goes smoothly and that we see some wedding pics soon.
@nadine6153 4 жыл бұрын
I think you have a really healthy mix of feminist ideals and a relaxed attitude! And I totally can relay to not wanting a white dress, not wanting to walk down the aisle,...! You will have an absolutely wonderful wedding, enjoy the day! :)
@antonydandrea 4 жыл бұрын
Crazy you planned so quick!
@clairey165 4 жыл бұрын
Me and my husband’s family did not meet until we got married! We had a teeny tiny wedding for many reasons but one benefit was that they were able to spend lots of the day talking to each other and not managing other relatives :)
@clairey165 4 жыл бұрын
My husband and I showed up together to the registry as well! However, my dad needed a way to get involved so my husband and his mum walked down the aisle and my dad and I walked in together! My mum gave a speech, husband and I gave a speech together and his dad gave a speech. So it felt very egalitarian. He took my surname but I took Mrs so we both changed!
@noelc9961 3 жыл бұрын
i think the biggest things with marriage is not only sharing the good things but also sharing in the BAD things
@haydenbrice7317 4 жыл бұрын
Wife and I just entered the space with our celebrant and witnesses (we scrapped the formal bridal parties). No aisle was around at all! Felt much better for us
@haydenbrice7317 4 жыл бұрын
Also, we paid roughly $10,000 AUD for our wedding (which is very cheap for a fully catered wedding). My wife prepped all of the drinks (she's a bartender) pre-ceremony. We hired a food van for the meals. We hired a friend of a friend's band. We didn't go super exxy on our clothes (and did our hair ourselves). Our photographer was a friend. And our venue was provided by a friends parents who happened to have a farm we could use (I never imagined I would have a barnyard wedding, but it was lovely and saved us soooo much money). The most expensive thing about our wedding was my wedding ring, haha (we did ditch engagement rings though!). I really suggest to anyone wanting to save on their wedding to have a good sit down with your spouse-to-be and figure out which bits are important to you, which bits you'd like to have (but are willing to compromise on), and which bits aren't important to you at all that you can ditch.
@daisyhutchinson8623 4 жыл бұрын
just bc you mentioned it but I would love to see that wedding dress vid! it sounds like you have a lot to say about it and I love hearing about wedding dresses!
@carlylarsson 4 жыл бұрын
I'm American, and my boyfriend is Australian (with a very British family). I felt the "Because you're nice" comment so hard lololol
@caitglenn2269 4 жыл бұрын
We were meant to be married in April and everything was good to go but pushed it to November when it got cancelled. However ultimately we decided to get married with just our parents present earlier this month and have no regrets! We will hopefully have a reception next year. Good luck with your wedding, I hope you have an amazing day.
@stephgreis705 4 жыл бұрын
This video came out on my wedding anniversary :) We had a small outside ceremony with about 50 guests. The main changes following the wedding for us were that we moved in together and started being intimate (we had decided to wait to have sex/see each other naked until the wedding); we decided to take on his last name due to a traumatic family situation on my side and because we wanted to have a shared last name. Eight years on, I feel like we have both grown a lot in our love and support for each other and friendship
@corik1065 4 жыл бұрын
I had a 40 person wedding a week ago with a dinner reception. It was absolutely perfect. I think you’ll really enjoy the intimate wedding
@pennywalker2143 4 жыл бұрын
Walking down the aisle: me and my husband walked in to the ceremony together! I hated the idea of him waiting there for me in front of an audience also I didn't want to be 'given away' because I'm no one's property to give!
@ShhhhhhImsleeping 4 жыл бұрын
We and our 3 guests walked into the room together and stood all together during the ceremony, it felt like a small reunion with exchange of rings, some sponteneous words from the guests, masks on and a kiss, and a granite plague the mayoress gave us haha Have fun and good luck!
@2kn111 4 жыл бұрын
I really appreciate your thoughts on feminist weddings 💕 I’ve always been torn because having the father walk the daughter down the aisle seems to outdated and patriarchal, but at the same time, my dad is my best friend and I know I’m going to want that moment with him on my wedding day
@florenciaiturri2743 4 жыл бұрын
I had the same thought for my wedding. I ended up walking down with my dad and I was very glad I did. We didn't do the whole "who gives the bride away thing" instead I saw it as I still have to get to the officiant and my partner so who best to hold my hand through that (and make sure I don't trip lol) than the person who has been there for me all my life. It was a very nice moment between us, but it def wasn't a "giving away moment" which is the part that really bothered me. Best of luck with yours
@hannahwitton 4 жыл бұрын
Yeah that makes total sense! My dad asked if he could walk me down the aisle and I love my dad so much I almost said yes because the idea of it seemed really cute but I just couldn’t reconcile the historical meaning of it (personally).
@2rumpnisse2 4 жыл бұрын
In Finland the old tradition is to walk down the aisle together, which I want to do if I ever get married. The old I think Germanic way of the father handing over his "possession" to the new husband has been more common here in the 21st century, mostly because of the influence of Hollywood movies etc. My dad has always said that he won't walk me down the aisle because of that symbolism
@masonwinfreyplatman2294 4 жыл бұрын
I'm glad you mentioned the "don't shame more traditional things because that just shifts where the shame is placed" because I've got hate from a few feminists because I want to get married but then I've always gotten a lot of hate from tradionalists because my wedding isn't going to be "traditional" (even tho it's actually just not a Christian wedding because why would I have a Christian wedding when I'm a Jewish Pagan?)
@LucileCoccinelle 4 жыл бұрын
You look and sound so excited! we don't know each other, but it makes me happy for you :-) I wish you two all the best!
@zoebicknell2200 4 жыл бұрын
The walking down the aisle thing and non-traditional/feminist wedding ideas are fascinating to me. As my mum is a vicar I have only known weddings as very traditional so when you speak about non-traditional aspects I’m intrigued. In thinking about if I want to walk down the aisle I thought about who I would want performing my ceremony and part of me would love for my mum to do part of it because that just feels right to me and I know it would stop her judging whatever the vicar would do 😂 I feel like a non-church wedding is not an option for me as it’s something I’ve never questioned and I think the person I choose to marry would have to agree to that in the way that you and Dan spoke about marriage itself.
@plunkybug 4 жыл бұрын
My dresses were among the cheapest parts of our weddings (we had two..Jewish and Shakespearean). Shakespeare dress was made by a costumer for $130 and Jewish one was from vintage shop for $40 and same amount to get it professionally cleaned. Shakespeare wedding was a few scenes from Much Ado About Nothing, acted by hubby and some friends (he was the confirmed bachelor) and ended with our vows which he wrote since he is a writer. It was definitely not a traditional wedding. Lol
@susandejong93 4 жыл бұрын
My parents and my husbands parents met just before our wedding too. We live in New Zealand, my parents in the Netherlands and my husbands in Australia. We got married in Australia, so that’s why and when the families finally met, and probably they won’t meet anytime soon again (;
@susandejong93 4 жыл бұрын
Oh en brrrr... the aisle... I did it for my father and the families, but terrible.
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