"When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy." -George Costanza

The oversized water bottle is so perfect

I knew entire departments like this full of professional meeting goers. They were able to convey a sense of urgency, which is what higher ups looked for. It was funny and true.

We have all worked with someone like this. I worked with a guy who would take hours a day making spreadsheets of stuff he needed to do so he never got his actual work done. He was perpetually behind and freaking out. He was literally making more work for himself then complained about the amount of work he had to do.

Heidi reminds me of Lucille Ball, the way she's able to convey something with her facial expression and physical comedy, and the lengths she's willing to go to make a scene work.

"In the weeds!" Got me rolling!😂

All of Heidi’s update characters are killer.

Heidi Gardner is possibly the most underrated cast member. Always a solid performance.

I just about had a PTSD moment, expecting Crystal's boss to come onscreen and hand off several of Crystal's responsibilities to me.

When Heidi threw her phone after saying "doododdoddoo I'm screwed" I laughed too hard at that.

I worked with this woman. Drove me absolutely crazy that she acted like she was busier than everyone else in the company. But she had been there long enough that everyone just treated it like it was a normal thing, "Oh we can't give that project to Lori, she has SO MUCH on her plate!" But...does she?

Please make this a recurring character. This had my dying! That she carried this level of intensity on for 4 min is really impressive. I bet this will become one of the most talked about/referenced SNL characters in recent history. Heidi is amazing

If she picked up another phone and said, "I have to go; reschedule this with someone else" she would have nailed a spot-on impersonation of a government worker I once had to deal with.

she's a legend. this was the hardest I've laughed in years. give her a movie already

Our "Crystal" was named Nancy, and she was perpetually insufferable. And don't ask me what the hell she did. She came to meetings held by every department and let us know how stressed she was. She even had some generic title that I can't remember.

Literally, this girl I used to work with, carried a clipboard around all day, we worked in a clothing store...

This very dead on. I might add that the people that actually act this way have less to do than anyone else.

Everything about this was amazing. The energy, the commitment, the facial expressions.. just wow. I love Heidi.

This is most of my managers; always standing in groups talking about how busy they are while the rest of us are actually DOING stuff.

I appreciate and notice when an actor doesn't stare at the cards most of the time. She did it so well you think she improvised the whole thing.

heidi really killed it with the physical comedy in this

I love that we're carrying on Cecily doing spittakes/throwing wine on Colin by having Heidi throwing salad greens on Colin.

Heidi reminded me of Carol Burnett in this

I love how the hand just slides into frame with the salad 😂

Heidi must use this as a recurring character. Almost, almost as great as Cicely’s Girl at a Party.

This needs to be a recurring bit … I worked for someone like this a while back, lots of talking and meetings, she worked long hours including on weekends while I was never that busy - I’m not sure how much she was ever accomplishing.

OMG MORE OF HER!! That was hysterical!!! Guest characters on W.U. are so fun.

“I’m Che’s assistant” punchline got me.

Fake. She didn’t aggressively shake her salad

I worked at a company where a guy on another team was the low-key opposite version of "Crystal". He didn't seem stressed or overwrought, and he showed up at the all-hands meetings, parties and celebrations. I'd see him walk through the office on occasion sporting the same busy-distracted look I'm sure we all had, like "I gotta remember to do that thing...". He was cordial and jovial in the breakroom or the cubical aisle, always for just long enough, then he'd disappear, presumably back to his desk. In a way he was kind of like Frank Abagnale, hiding in plain sight. Two years into his tenure there, a cursory audit by a newly appointed manager on his team revealed that he had not checked in a single scrap of work the entire time.

Good way to stick the landing with this sketch revealing who she "works" for. 😉

“and Bens’ bringing Oreo cheesecake, that aint gonna work, there goes my Easter Sunday”😂

In his defense... her 'husband' can vibrate.

This is all of my theater friends' impression of what 'work' is lol

I have worked in a office, sometimes we actually fake work.

She’s really shining this season. This new character was so well played. Respect

I'm her the last 30 minutes or so of the day. I find walking quickly and constantly checking things makes it seem I'm still working 😂😂

Heidi is such a star she never miss the skirt was hilarious I was dying 🤣.

🤣 Oh my gosh, soo true! She nailed this! People I work with ACT so busy, you’d think they were top level Engineers for NASA. 🤣

Me, when my supervisor comes into the room

I felt that Ann Taylor Loft joke. When I used to work in an office at a university, I was the #3 Ann Taylor Loft shopper in the Fresno, CA area. LOL!! The reason I know that is because my friend was a district manager at the time, and I guess she would run reports...and my name would pop up. She was like "We need to get you to #1." LOL!! I was also a busy lady. (;

"Where do u work?"... "in the weeds!" 😂😂😂

She needs a raise and a weekly spot on the show. Best bit ever.

This whole sketch was definitely just an excuse to throw food at Colin

I work in a whole office of these people. They never have any time to get you the data that you need, but expect that when they ask you for ANYTHING that you will get it for them yesterday. Yet, there is NO WAY that they are more busy than our boss, & he is completely professional, with realistic expectations & timely responses.

Nailed the facial expressions!

Colin adds so much sincere joy and easy going energy to the skits to make them work even better. You always hear about competition and sabatage on SNL so he must be such a great person to work with

At my job I spend a lot of time walking very quickly from place to place with an expression like I'm in the middle of one task but also intently concentrating on what I have to do next...

The phone-as-husband bit and her wild EYES throughout were amazing.

I had a co worker that was always busy but nothing ever got done. Funny how that works

Heidi is fantastic! Great job!

Hard to believe it but Gardner actually outdoes all her Weekend Update characters with this performance!

this is somoene I know at work- she is so disorganized and never seemed to actually be doing anything but she had like two phones, a laptop, tons of papers and I was teh one who had to do my own work and hers like bruh what are we doing here???

She actually did googly eyes! 😂

When starting a new job, my spouse was told, "Always carry a piece of paper and look serious.". This was before everyone had a laptop.

My “Crystal” was named “Terrie” and she’d hold the phone under her hair and doodle like she was hard at work, talking to her mom about their “stories”. Then she’d stay overtime so that she could do her real work without annoying interruptions. She made more in OT than her regular pay. Luckily we got a new boss who saw through her scam. “Finish it up, Terrie, it’s time to go.”

All my managers act like this and no one can figure out what they actually do.

That salad phone though :D

Where do you work “In the weeds” 😂😂😭

She really parodies a manager I once had. Even some of the jargon is the same. Amazing !!

I have supervised people like this who spread anxiety and paranoia like the plague, and I fired them as soon as possible because they destroy productivity and make everyone else crazy. In most cases, if they shut up and did their job, they wouldn't actually have that much to do.

'So what do you do for work?' 'Um, this.' Her delivery of that line is hilarious!

I've washed dishes, delivered pizza, worked in retail, been employed in a factory, and taught high school. This is just about every employed person in America.

She nailed it even down to the birthday sign-up sheet!!! Not making this up, but this lady has worked with me for several years always pretending to be busy, but in reality, she ain't doing SHIT!!!! PSA: The person in YOUR office who always has the most to say in the meetings and on the zoom calls, sending out the most emails, and always tries to make themselves look important (especially in front of management) is the one who isn't doing a DAMN THING!!! (lol)

I’ve worked 12 hour days, with classes in the evening, and having to find time for everything else in between, and managing without stress. Then to hear, from some people near and dear to me, with no job or any other obligation outside their house and with no kids, complain about how they are “so busy” and “stressed out”. Like with what!?

OMG - the salad phone! LOL that really broke me up.

The water bottle though ..... Also anyone else notice she flipped us all off when she was explaining her spreadsheet? 😁🤣

Now that Cecily is gone Heidi is keeping up the tradition of throwing things on Colin and I think that's beautiful

We have been blessed with the genius of Heidi once again 🙏

Unfortunately, I've had (as many have) the displeasure of working with fellow healthcare i.e. drs, nurses etc. that do this and it can n has become a HUGE problem for patients receiving care! Totally 💯 know this character 😐

Print off a test page, walk fast through the office, constantly checking the paper, look annoyed that you can’t find what it is you’re looking for. -How to cut from your office to the car without someone hitting you up for a “real quick IT issue”.

Heidi is so good

Ok THIS Character needs her own Sketch 😂

The salad phone... 😂😂😂😂 Throwing it with Dallas landing in Colin's hair😅😅😅

Nothing I hate more than people texting me on my salad phone. 😡

Heidi is now the best in show. Seems she’s found and perfected her swagger. I relatedly laughed vociferously at this Update character!

the hourly water jug and sweetgreen salad are TOO accurate

OMG, this is me. I'm an administrative asst. and with all the ad hoc crap I get dumped on me daily, it's hard to get my actual work done. Like, how do people not know how to make copies themselves?

This is so true. So many people just love to complain, and they answer emails all day

She's hilarious! An under appreciated talent. The eyes! I've never been the first comment before, whoo-hoo!

She hits it out of the park EVERY TIME!!

that is a phenomenal performance

One of the best Weekend Update guests in a Lonnng time! More of this!

I'm kinda like this... in my home office 😂😂😂

My experience is different. I have more or less a predictable workload. I come in late, work three hours, and then leave. The manager was on board. Everyone else was resentful that they couldn't work only 3 hours a day. The problem they had is that it took them 2 days to do what I did in 3 hours. They looked busy, but mostly it was socializing. I'm not a fan of workplaces. I don't mind cubicles and fluorescent lights, but the people that work there...JFC.

That’s a UK civil servant:)

"Hey man, Crystal is the best"

Felt like Heidi was channeling classic SNL quirks with Molly hosting, not just the physical stuff but the faces and mannerisms too. Fantastic bit

Ice breaker. Ice breaker. I can't stop watching this and dying laughing. On my back. The level. Bandwidth. Sign up sheet. That ain't gonna work. I love having another go to skit guarenteed to make me feel better. I've eaten on the toilet so many times. 😂😂😂😂 I'm screwed. What don't I do?

Her eye makeup is flawless,love this look on her lol

She’s the sister the boxer’s girlfriend takes her kids to.

I used to do this at my job in college admissions. Half the semester I had nothing to do so I'd make copies, fax them to no one, reply to spam emails, complain and sigh while listening to podcasts. Best job I ever had.

This is hysterical! 😂

I’m Che’s assistant🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

When she answers the salad phone and says “I’m screwed”…it kills me. Excellent delivery.

“Where do you work?” “In the weeds!” 😂😂😂😂😂

Ah yes, my coworker...always complaining that she's "drowning" and "swamped" and how "nobody else does anything around here" yet anytime I see her at her desk she's texting her new husband...whom was cheating on his wife with her.

Love heidis update characters

I work with this person, and the purple water bottle is spot on!!!😂😂😂

Crystal is literally every office worker in a government agency.