"What Can Cause DISSOCIATION?"

"What Can Cause DISSOCIATION?" | AKA ep.165

Рет қаралды 10,654

Жыл бұрын

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks us through the various causes of dissociation, and child on child sexual abuse. She also explains what natural curiosity is versus something caused by abuse. Next, Kati discusses why we can struggle to see how bad our depression or anxiety has gotten, and why that can impede us getting the help we need. She also offers ways to heal when our “safe person” turns out to be hurtful, and how we can combat our urge to focus on the negative things going on in our world. This and so much more in this week’s episode!
Ask Kati Anything ep. 165 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT
AUDIENCE QUESTIONS
1. I have a question about dissociation. Does it have to be caused by trauma or are there other things that can cause dissociation?
2. This is something I have never spoken about as I'm so embarrassed. When I was a child (6-8ish), my male friend and I (same age and both consensual, I'm female) would try to have "sex" at sleepovers. It also continued with another female friend. If anyone else said this I'd be very curious about sexual abuse, however that didn't happen to me....
3. I've been in this weird headspace lately where I'm really confused and frustrated about how I actually feel. My therapist recently suggested I try medication for my depression and anxiety since things haven't really been improving but...
4. How do you cope with finding out that your “safe people” growing up weren’t so safe after all? I experienced a little bit of abuse as a kid (sexual, physical, and emotional). Possibly as a result, I...
5. I try putting this into the right words. This world is a shit show. Most people are selfish, manipulative, mean...I think you get the picture. Most of the time it's really hard living in this world. I often feel like...
6. Can you talk about internal family systems and how all the parts, exiles and other things work? I’m in trauma therapy and have CPTSD, EMDR & IFS has been so helpful but...
7. I wonder what type of questions I’m allowed to ask my therapist? She’s very professional and sometimes when I ask her if she’s...
8. How can I best work with my therapist to reduce the extreme amount of rejection I feel at the end of each session? I think it started off as separation anxiety, but it has developed into a feeling of severe...
9. I was wondering, have you ever had a client lie to you & how did you deal with it? I have noticed myself lying to my therapist often and I want to stop. Any tips on how to do that thanks for all that you do.
tce.researchinpractice.org.uk...
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Пікірлер: 43

@Lemonady Жыл бұрын

Timestamps! Q1 - 0:51 Q2 - 6:41 Q3 - 28:27 Q4 - 37:23 Q5 - 45:25 Q6 - 50:09 Q7 - 55:51 Q8 - 1:00:50 Q9 - 1:09:00

@MrBungle900 Жыл бұрын

Once again, I applaud and appreciate you so much, Lemonady 🙌✨✨✨✨🙌 Cheers, my lovely.

@Lemonady Жыл бұрын

@@MrBungle900 Love you! 🥰

@SurferJoe1 Жыл бұрын

Here's my little positive-focus moment for the collection. Early every morning I go for a long walk, and four crows wait for me, because I give them a little bit of peanut butter, which they deeply love. Three of them hang back, but their leader, Alastair, comes pretty close and is always first in line. This morning I just kidded him a little, talking and making faces, and he swooped down closer, waiting for the peanut butter, just a few feet away and more trusting than he's ever been before. He looked at me with real interest while I talked to him- from much experience I'm really good at reading bird faces- and I could tell he likes me. I really enjoy him, and he follows me around the neighborhood. My pal.

@monkeyboy19761 Жыл бұрын

I finally accepted that all the things I've been through are actually TRAUMA. I've always just minimized them and occasionally did a trauma dump on to people I love and didn't deserve it. I just recently found out the term trauma dump and didn't realize just how destructive it can be to me and my loved ones. Just another thing for me to regret...

@polinanikulina Жыл бұрын

I'm glad you're making progress! Accepting trauma and noticing its effects has been tough for me as well. Shame is difficult for me because it usually makes me isolate instead of learning better ways to act. I've apologized to my friends and relatives about the times trauma brain took over, and they've mostly been understanding. Hope things get better!

@BeingLifted Жыл бұрын

The part of your story I can relate to most is having regrets. I've had to make peace with mine and would like to share a few thoughts that you may or may not have already considered. Feel free to take what you want and leave the rest. If it doesn't help you, maybe it will help someone else. I forgave myself because I did the best I could at the time. If, back then, I knew what I know now, I would have made better choices. I think that people that say they have no regrets either aren't very self-aware or have led an incredibly charmed life because a regret can be something as simple as trusting someone you shouldn't have. I'm thankful that I'm able to acknowledge my mistakes or regrets. Those who don't experience regret and feel justified in everything they do, regardless of who they hurt, have much bigger problems than we do. Which is kind of a good lead-in to this thought, courtesy of a transient hippie friend who I crossed paths with once a year for a decade. He had a love-hate relationship with heroin and broke it off a number of times but "she" wooed him back in. I wish I could find him; he was an amazing man. But I digress ... You may have already heard this but I hadn't at that time and I believe it to be true now: The depth with which we experience negative emotions is in equal proportion to the depth (or height?) that we are able to experience happiness or more positive emotions. I wish you well always, fellow human with regrets.

@anniekate76 Жыл бұрын

Kindness alert: I paused the podcast at about 30 seconds before Kati asked us to put kindness in the comments. I paused it because I was at the drive through to pick up our dinner at a restaurant. As he handed me my food the guy in the drive through said “I’ve got some extra breadsticks in the oven, would you like some?” Maybe because he saw I was using a birthday coupon on my dinner, maybe just random, but very nice and unexpected! And then I unpaused and heard Kati’s ask. 😂 Here’s a couple more recent ones! As she was handing my glasses back to me at a recent doctor’s visit, a nurse told me I have beautiful eyes! (That might seem off, but based on our demographics and the vibe this was not at all creepy in context, just trust me.) Strange but so sweet! At the community garden this weekend, someone had grown hundreds of extra tomato plant seedlings and was giving them away for free to anyone else who wanted any. I have gotten drawn into a mutual aid group via some friends in my town who are helping some elderly disabled folks whose apartment building burned down. They have been making sure these folks had food, a place to sleep, fundraising to get them clothes and other items, helping them move from hotels to shelters to (finally!) their own new apartments, advocating for them with social service agencies, and just generally making sure these people get back on their feet. Just because helping other people is good.

@jeunicorn2625 Жыл бұрын

Sharing some good vibes and gratitude here: - I took the bus and had no ticket so a lady offered me hers and I gave her some cookies I had with me as an exchange 🌞 - I lost my wallet in thrift store and the manger found it and did everything he could to return it to me as fast as he could 🙏 - I got a really bad news and my neighbor offered me a big supportive hug - i was at a beach and a family shared their Macdonald with me … there are soooo many kind hearted people and the proof is this podcast and this community which gives lots of hope ❤️🌱 thanks a lot for that everyone 🌈

@supermichaelssecondchannel4342 Жыл бұрын

1. A coworker of mine took a form from me today and walked it to where it’s supposed to go. 2. My son made me laugh when he sang as Kenny from South Park.❤

@bellapullman10002 Жыл бұрын

Question 4 was relatable. Most adult figures in my life as a kid turned out to be 'monsters'. I loved my poppa. Used to go camping and on road trips with him. Found out after he died he was a well known kiddy fi**ler. My uncle apparently preyed on me but I didn't realize. My dad turned into an abusive addict and a couple of my teachers mistreated me. I have major trust issues and still haven't processed the trauma. I'm grateful for my mum and brothers but we are forever messed up from the events.

@BPCado Жыл бұрын

This episode touches on so many open questions/wounds... it's been challenging to listen to, but in a good way. Thank you Kati and to those sharing bits of their stories with their questions. You are all helping a lot

@kenzielynn1047 9 ай бұрын

The abused child in me wants to say “that’s what she said” but also relates as well…. This had me question so much shit that brings out the dissociative comedian in me

@maddie_142 Жыл бұрын

Going off of what Kati said, focussing on gratitude and writing down just a couple things you're grateful for each day (even if it's just enjoying a coffee or petting your pet), it can help your mindset and view of the world sooo much. I've really enjoyed using The Five Minute Journal, which includes a section for this each day. Highly recommend checking that out and trying to practice gratitude and optimism (not in a toxic positivity way, but instead just working on the way you talk to yourself/think about situations and what you have control over) each day, because as hard as it is, it really can be helpful once you get into the habit of it ❤ I also really do want to validate how hard this is to do. But don't be hard on yourself for not doing it perfectly. We're all a work in progress, and you're already doing amazing by taking the first step to learn and try to feel better 😊

@sweetand369 Жыл бұрын

The Five Minute Journal is amazing! I started using it at the beginning of the year, and it really is a game-changer to focus on gratitude.

@kidwolfman Жыл бұрын

Thank you Katie ❤

@user-ea44 Жыл бұрын

Q5: there is a great series 'the good place' about people being bad or good. Totally recommend it!

@BestNadia Жыл бұрын

Thank you very much for everything Kati and for answering my question 😃

@kreasiw Жыл бұрын

Such a good episode. Thanks Kati

@angko-pe Жыл бұрын

Hi Kati, thanks for answering my question (#8). Over the past two weeks, I decided to end therapy with my current therapist, and yesterday was our last session. I just couldn't do it anymore. Seeing her was just too painful. She agreed that it was time to end it as she is not a trauma psychologist. She primarily works with post-partum women (that's how I ended up with her in the first place, I was looking for treatment for my ppd). To say that I am beyond heartbroken and feel like the world has come crashing in on me now is the understatement of the century. I feel so lost, confused, and scared. I have a team of people working to find me the proper help, but I'm so scared I'll just be pushed around the system (universal healthcare), and eventually, I'll be lost in the system. Im so scared I won't get the help I need.

@ylana4444 Жыл бұрын

I so relate to your post. I ended my therapy because I had to move but I knew even if I didn’t move I would have needed to end it because I was so attached/in love with my therapist it just caused me so much pain and angst, not being able to have her..I lived my whole life for her thinking of her everyday and couldn’t wait for the next session.. It caused a lot of grief and sadness and we even processed it but it just wasn’t enough. I felt lost and scared that I would never be able to find another therapist that I could connect to. But I will say that I now have found someone that I feel is a pretty good therapist too. I don’t feel that deep sort of romantic love but feel like she’s a “sister” if that makes sense. I still think of my old therapist daily and just try to accept this is just where I’m at in my journey. It’s hard to say the least!

@angko-pe Жыл бұрын

@Ylana I'm so glad you've managed to find someone else that doesn't evoke the same romantic feelings in you. It must feel so nice to connect with her in a more sisterly manner. I wish you all the best for the future. X

@chinesekungfu2031 8 ай бұрын

Thank you, Katie. I love these 💯

@maddie_142 Жыл бұрын

Happy Thursday! Can't wait to listen to today's episode! 😊❤ Last week's episode was soo relatable and really helpful. Have a great day!

@OTDM Жыл бұрын

Have a great day as well Maddie. Thank you for the kind words!

@jicajacobsonkimbreaux 8 ай бұрын

Sometimes those darker/forced fantasies can also arise in people raised in highly religious environments and who simultaneously feel a deep sense of shame around wanting sex, particularly among women (or repressed homosexual urges) and in those who have directly witnessed women being shamed for expressing their sexuality.

@JoJoDragonslayer Жыл бұрын

I've had to watch this a couple times😢

@JustMe-ob3nw Жыл бұрын

I wish I could dissociate from my entire life. However I have an elephant memory. 🐘

@amysalas1456 Жыл бұрын

Hey Kati can you please share that research on what’s considered normal behaviors for each age group like the green light and amber stuff you were talking about a the beginning of the video?

@marrow-zp7zt 3 ай бұрын

Q4: What if there has been NO dirtbagging but severe accusations of SA? I mean, a teacher spots out abused children and tries to help them, but ends up arrested by accusations made by the abusing parent/family friend/whomever...? Shifting the blame, counter accusations? Wouldn't be the first time.

@Noorieke 11 ай бұрын

Q5 My cat fell asleep against my leg today. He is usually very shy. I stopped my car and received a 'thumbs up' from a pedestrian wanting to cross the sidewalk.

@LanguageNerdsofia_ 3 ай бұрын

Dear Kate: I saw an amazing psychiatrist mention that if you have a depression that will never go away, it'd be nice to test for authism. What do you think?

@AdrianHiggins83 Жыл бұрын

❤

@nourfattouh6547 Жыл бұрын

🤟

@Scotty.doggins 8 ай бұрын

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

@jenniferferris44 Жыл бұрын

First fear memory we know of is. A picture of a disfigured old fat guy with this glasses, we call him 'the ogre man' we knew we were supposed to sit still and if we moved or stimmed we hear a painful clap behind n above our head. Happens with a metel framed plastic class chair. The picture is what comes up when our inner child thinks of it

@cristinaevans139 Жыл бұрын

What am I going to do I found my partner dead at 930amits 3 am here in Australia now we were to get her for17 years 😢

@kreasiw Жыл бұрын

So very sorry for your loss.

@Jennifermcintyre Жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry 😔. I hope you can get help through this!!

@dondavidyoung2668 10 ай бұрын

Do people dissociate without a DID dx ?

@ayeayesailor 9 ай бұрын

yes

@BeingLifted Жыл бұрын

I thought females didn't start to have se*ual urges until after we begin menstruating. That's true in my case -- and I was "late" at 16. Unless that info is inaccurate, the mere thought of masturbation seems unlikely for a toddler. I need to get busy with things I keep putting off but if anyone knows if that's true or not, I am curious to know. That was something told to me decades ago.

@niky9226 Күн бұрын

Funny, I wrote that at the begining of the video. Before she mentioned childhood neglect, self soothing and sex addition 😅 Guess I clicked on the right video!