What is Gottman’s Theory for Couples Therapy? | ‘Sound Marital House Theory’ MFT Model Review

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Steph Anya, LMFT

Steph Anya, LMFT

Күн бұрын

What’s Anya Mind, Friends?
Today, we’re taking a closer look at one of the most renowned approaches to couples therapy. John & Julie Gottman developed The Sound Marital House Theory which is an evidenced-based model that can predict a couple’s likelihood of divorce. Would you consider using this MFT model?
TIMESTAMPS//
00:00 - Introduction
02:38 - About the Theorist
03:25 - The Sound Marital House Theory
09:26 - The View of the Problem
17:03 - Goals
17:57 - Interventions and Techniques
COAMFTE-ACCREDITED PROGRAMS//
coamfte.org/COAMFTE/Directory...
FIND A THERAPIST//
www.aamft.org/Directories/Fin...
SOCIAL MEDIA//
Instagram: @ _steph.anya
Facebook: /steph.anya.fb
EXAM STUDY PREP (that I use)//
American Association for The Behavioral Sciences Study (AATBS) Volume I & II (15% Discount): www.talkable.com/x/0pWfTO
GEAR//
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Пікірлер: 136
@furiousstyles08
@furiousstyles08 Жыл бұрын
I'm a therapist that just discovered your content. It's amazing. Keep up the good work. I took a Gottman course. Interesting story: Back when Gottman would conduct research by observing couples and their behavior, he started dating Julie. She would observe him and asked one question..."why are you watching them fight? Help them." The workshop/course was the result.
@bruh666
@bruh666 2 жыл бұрын
This is the most intuitive approach to relationships/marriage therapy I've seen so far
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
Agreed!
@annekurbis3883
@annekurbis3883 Жыл бұрын
My last relationship was home for all of the 4 Horsemen for years. My ex-partner refused to see anything wrong with it and insisted I was the problem - too sensitive, too strong-willed, and did not love him enough to overlook his dismissive behavior. I am SO glad, that I finally had the courage to break up 3 years ago. Right now I'm in a sound marital house and I'm at aw about how easy relationships can be if both partners are on the same page: love, respect, kindness, and trust. Relationships don't have to be hard. Of course, both sides have to work on themselves to grow closer together but it's nothing compared to the heavy lifting of a one-sided relationship, where one person gives just the bare minimum and the other bends over backward to finally be "enough".
@angelabracey8696
@angelabracey8696 7 ай бұрын
Hi! I’m a new therapist (I just graduated a few months ago), and I’ve been struggling with some imposter syndrome and feeling like there is so much I still need to learn while also wanting to be helpful to my clients. I recently found your channel and just wanted to say thank you for all the work you do. I really appreciate the way you explain these models. I feel like I can actually apply what I’m learning in my sessions. 💕
@arabakoleman1132
@arabakoleman1132 2 күн бұрын
Remember that the imposter syndrome is a cognitive distortion. If you've come this far then you have what it takes. I wish you all the best as you help those who need you.
@thecurlycognitive5545
@thecurlycognitive5545 2 күн бұрын
Thank you so much for the kind words. 💕
@davethenerd42
@davethenerd42 Жыл бұрын
My marriage is spiralling, almost divorced this last December/January. I've poured myself into trying to understand everything as best I can. We have gone to two different counselors. Both times, it felt to me like we just immediately started delving into huge problems my wife had no problem getting off her chest while I expected more of a "get to know us" period and then a period of wading into the difficult issues. The last one really dug into me about why I was so defensive when he gave my wife all the validation she was seeking and then lectured me about how I'm supposed to be a better husband. These sessions have traumatized me and made me more resistant to therapy, but I'm still trying. I came away from the last one feeling like there just HAS to be a systematic approach that treats the entire process with more sensitivity and would allow me to feel like I have an equal voice that isn't immediately dismissed when I bring up my own grievances. Thank you for this video. I needed to know that there are more systematic approaches and that I shouldn't be going into these things completely blind and that it's ok to know what to expect, as well as to have an expectation that we create a safe space, for both of us, to be able to talk about difficult things. The last therapist basically said that we both just have to be better versions of ourselves. I can't really sum up here what I've been through in my life and the past decade plus of marriage, but I wouldn't say I'm phoning it in. Demonstrable quantifiable strategies are more valuable than fortune cookie slogans. How are you going to give your wise insights if you've only been talking to us for 30 minutes and you're already just taking everything one person says at face value and admonishing the other? I'm really struggling here dealing with all this.
@NDObeats
@NDObeats 2 жыл бұрын
I find this model very interesting, and I love that he collaborates with his wife. Thanks for sharing!
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
That's my favorite thing about it too. Love to see a couple function as partners!
@rethinkcps2116
@rethinkcps2116 Жыл бұрын
...his second wife -
@rmy_Youtube
@rmy_Youtube 2 жыл бұрын
No marriage or family but definitely taking notes for the future. Thanks StephAnya!
@maki9396
@maki9396 Жыл бұрын
The way the thunder played along when you said "funny and dramatic"
@Adrianne.215
@Adrianne.215 Жыл бұрын
I’m not studying to become a therapist-but it’s really helpful in understanding how my therapist is giving my husband and I tools to work on our relationship. I have ADHD and being able to repeatedly hear things like this remind me of what direction I’m aiming for.
@liliramirez2331
@liliramirez2331 2 жыл бұрын
I’m a practicum student about to graduate. I am loving your videos ! would love to see some mock therapy sessions ! 👏🏼
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you! Hmmm I never thought of that. Maybe I can get my husband to pretend to be a client haha.
@lillianc76
@lillianc76 2 жыл бұрын
Me too !!!
@sararichman6612
@sararichman6612 Жыл бұрын
I would be more than willing to be that person
@SupremeNerd
@SupremeNerd Жыл бұрын
I volunteer
@StrivingForAuthenticity
@StrivingForAuthenticity 3 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing this information in such a clear, easy, fun, and comprehensive way! I'm an online MFT student, and your videos have been so so helpful for gaining a better understanding of these concepts we're reading about in school. 💝
@melindayaskoff
@melindayaskoff 10 ай бұрын
I'm a retired therapist looking for counseling recommendations for married couples. Your description of the Gottman Method was a thorough overview. Thanks so much for your perspective.
@arnellpaul6298
@arnellpaul6298 2 ай бұрын
Gilr!!! I am in Grad School for my MSW and your videos are helping me to understand the different therapies. I love how you told us about the theorist's story and why they formed the methods. You have explained each theory in a way that makes me fall in love with wanting to understand future couples I serve. God Bless.
@sajdah1201
@sajdah1201 2 жыл бұрын
Steph, I love all of your videos and as a future mft grad student they truly help a lot! I also can’t wait to see someone who looks like us create their own approach & get just as much recognition as all of these other theorists! ♥️
@maddiepilz5711
@maddiepilz5711 2 жыл бұрын
That is so useful, thank you so much for putting together this video! Also, the dramatic thunder moment was hilarious (and very fitting indeed)!
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
Haha perfect natural sound effect
@lillianc76
@lillianc76 2 жыл бұрын
You did such a phenomenal job on explaining Gottmons method. I tend to come to your videos often as I’m finishing up my masters. On line learning has been very challenging to say the least. I can’t find any negatives about this method. Thank you again🌻
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you!! ♥️
@lizzietimberlake5623
@lizzietimberlake5623 7 ай бұрын
I'm an LCSW that works with couples and individuals; just discovered your videos! They are awesome, thanks for sharing your perspectives and expertise with the world!
@ericfawcett2085
@ericfawcett2085 Жыл бұрын
Steph, thanks for all the hard work you put into these great videos!
@jordanharris7273
@jordanharris7273 2 жыл бұрын
Steph, I just found your channel and absolutely love your videos. The videos are so well made, and the content is very informative. I am passionate about becoming a LMFT and starting a bachelor's degree program this year. Thanks for making these playlists/videos.
@mickelarutledge7729
@mickelarutledge7729 Жыл бұрын
This was so good! Enjoy your content so much!
@TEA_PHX
@TEA_PHX 2 жыл бұрын
Steph, thank you for these videos. You explain the concepts clearly and concisely and in an entertaining way. I’m in a MS in MHC program and these videos are helping me be more successful in my family/couple counseling class. Thanks again!
@tedroyclarke6473
@tedroyclarke6473 2 жыл бұрын
This was a wonderful session, now I am very new to the channel I am truly enjoying making me look at relationship shows and my behaviour so different.
@Jazzkat773
@Jazzkat773 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for these videos. I am having a hard time studying for my license and these are helping tremendously.
@amarylisbarbosa3071
@amarylisbarbosa3071 Жыл бұрын
I love the way you present the theories. I am taking my third attempt for my LMHC and I hope I can remember your videos when answering the questions on my test. Thank you so much for your videos and much success to you!
@EllenGormleyCrochet
@EllenGormleyCrochet 2 жыл бұрын
Great job, Steph! Great video!
@laurynhunter7407
@laurynhunter7407 2 жыл бұрын
Your MFT Model Review videos have helped me immensely in my Couples and Family Therapy course for my MACP! Thank you!
@Tootie933
@Tootie933 2 жыл бұрын
This was amazing! Thanks for sharing!
@divineproduction4438
@divineproduction4438 Жыл бұрын
Again, you did a wonderful job. I’ll be getting some more lessons after I passed this exam.
@aliciaramosfitkick2307
@aliciaramosfitkick2307 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much!! I'm an intern, have my first couple booked. My SV suggested this method to begin researching. I really appreciate the breakdown, time to dive in. Thank you!!!
@KhushbooK04
@KhushbooK04 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! this was extremely helpful and so well explained
@pillsburry3051
@pillsburry3051 2 жыл бұрын
I really enjoyed this. It was very educational. Keep up the good work
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks, Uncle!
@iamsimplyj
@iamsimplyj 2 жыл бұрын
Love your breakdowns
@TellSamyra
@TellSamyra 9 ай бұрын
Great summary. Thanks
@ananyasuma9874
@ananyasuma9874 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for such a good explaination
@colettechase1920
@colettechase1920 Жыл бұрын
Very clear and concise thank you
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Жыл бұрын
Glad it was helpful!
@candidmandy
@candidmandy 8 ай бұрын
Thank you for your videos I’m using them to help me study for the ncc to get my license 💗
@oreooreo101
@oreooreo101 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for these videos! I am not in a relationship, but I use these tips in relating to my friends and family.
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
I’m so glad that you’re finding them useful!
@_justyessyy_
@_justyessyy_ 11 ай бұрын
I really enjoy watching your videos, and they’ve made a positive impact in my life. I was wondering if you could film a video about what to look for in a couples therapist, when to get a new therapist, how to break up with a therapist, and how to let your therapist know. We already made the decision to find a new therapist but I think we stuck around longer then we should have. 😅
@MrTyanushka
@MrTyanushka 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for these model reviews. They were part of my studying for the MFT exam and I passed on my first attempt. Soon to add LMFT to my credz. You're videos are awesome and I'll recommend them to others. - Dr. Ty
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
Congratulations!!!
@deliaisaac805
@deliaisaac805 2 жыл бұрын
Super helpful Thank you!!
@wam1469
@wam1469 2 жыл бұрын
Hello, I am in my practicum/internship and your content is really helping me. I also am a student at NCU. Have you done any content on Internal Family Systems?
@lawboy2377
@lawboy2377 2 жыл бұрын
Great content keep up this amazing work
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks, fam!
@indera8564
@indera8564 2 жыл бұрын
OMG! I’m [im]patiently waiting for the day that you start accepting new couples for therapy! My bf and I are currently in couples therapy hoping to proactively work through communication and conflict management within our relationship, but it’s been TOUGH. I sometimes feel like we’re more conflicted after our sessions and still struggle with fostering positivity versus negativity in our relationship. I love how you objectively break down common pitfalls and make the information easier to digest for someone who doesn’t have an educational background in counseling.
@raynaroy157
@raynaroy157 2 жыл бұрын
He’s a BOY FRIEND. Stop giving him husband energy.
@TeriMichele1
@TeriMichele1 2 жыл бұрын
@@raynaroy157 this! 👏🏾
@moonknight4053
@moonknight4053 Жыл бұрын
Lol what kind of trash advice is that, he’s her boyfriend or ex regardless. Do you think a man should treat his girlfriend like his girlfriend?
@monniemugo1477
@monniemugo1477 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks have learnt alot.
@natashasmith8301
@natashasmith8301 2 жыл бұрын
Starting MFT program in a couple of weeks soo happy I found ur channel
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
Congratulations!
@gitanaritchie
@gitanaritchie Жыл бұрын
Great video!
@howtosober
@howtosober Жыл бұрын
I'd love a video on how to get out of the power struggle stage with the different attachment styles!
@savage_optimist
@savage_optimist Жыл бұрын
I need this too!!!
@maunder01
@maunder01 7 ай бұрын
The four horsemen and the thunder made me laugh out loud!! Love this! Thank you for this vid very helpful in study!
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 7 ай бұрын
Just the most perfect timing 😂
@user-ii6yu9wy2n
@user-ii6yu9wy2n 8 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@mv5150
@mv5150 2 жыл бұрын
Another awesome video!! Love these, they are so helpful - thank you!!! Can you do solution-focused?!
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
Yes, that’s next!
@mv5150
@mv5150 2 жыл бұрын
@@StephAnya Love your channel - thank you :
@chikFromMTL
@chikFromMTL 2 жыл бұрын
Awesome content 🙌🏾
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@isaaca6445
@isaaca6445 Жыл бұрын
This applies to all kinds of relationships.
@cammychua6270
@cammychua6270 2 жыл бұрын
I really appreciate how well you explain these concepts especially with all the examples you bring in. I was wondering, if a family member comes to you for marriage advice and support and you recognise that part of the problem lies in her also having an unhealthy communication style. How would you help her recognise this and improve herself without triggering a defensive & emotional response?
@linabrucks5829
@linabrucks5829 9 ай бұрын
Absolutely not. Part of being a therapist is having firm boundaries with clients, friends, and family.
@terrencegriffin5953
@terrencegriffin5953 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Soo much explaining Gottman I am studying about him in my MFT course this semester. I enjoy Gottman love mal
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
I love it too!
@rethinkcps2116
@rethinkcps2116 Жыл бұрын
@@StephAnya - I went to a Gottman-affiliated therapist outside Seattle. She was very skilled. Nice lady. Said I was the most contemptuous spouse at Gottman Clinic. 😶
@truvettehollinquest5760
@truvettehollinquest5760 Жыл бұрын
nice explanation. I am now working with lots of couples and even though my platform (Kaiser) will not allow 50 sessions, some of this information can be used. Thanks
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Жыл бұрын
How long are your sessions?
@TheMoises1213
@TheMoises1213 2 жыл бұрын
Your perfect🥺❤️. The perfect person to talk to too
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
🥺 How sweet. Thank you ♥️
@andream9977
@andream9977 11 ай бұрын
You may like Stan Tatkin’s work PACT. He shares many of these viewpoints too and emphasizes collaboration and having shared agreements and a shared vision for the relationship
@cathydavis5456
@cathydavis5456 Жыл бұрын
You are amazing!
@StephAnya
@StephAnya Жыл бұрын
Aw thank you!!
@Deutsch-ohne-Schmerz
@Deutsch-ohne-Schmerz 3 ай бұрын
thank you
@backwoodsbandit3138
@backwoodsbandit3138 11 ай бұрын
Is there a book that talks about all of this? 😢 Especially the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse?
@vanessasmith3628
@vanessasmith3628 Жыл бұрын
There are some people who are from very negative households. Positivity is important. Unconditional love is the key.
@juliannaokike3359
@juliannaokike3359 2 жыл бұрын
What do you do with someone who feels the need to make it seem like they pay for everything when it is the other way around so they can save face to someone else. It would not be so bad if they we're or had the ability to replenish sometimes. It's been kinda lop sided lately.
@laurafreeman875
@laurafreeman875 2 жыл бұрын
Hi, I recently just found you. I am testing for the 2nd time and wonder what tips you have?I feel I relate to you more than other stuff I watched in the past.
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
Hi Laura! I have a video about how I passed the exam that you may find helpful! It’s from last year.
@laurafreeman875
@laurafreeman875 2 жыл бұрын
@@StephAnya ha! I watched it after I sent that lol. Thank you!
@laurafreeman875
@laurafreeman875 2 жыл бұрын
@@StephAnya Also can you do a video on Feminist Theory?
@jw2hq
@jw2hq 2 жыл бұрын
Hi girl. I can't thank you enough for these videos. I am taking my exam in September and super nervous. Your videos are so helpful. I'm wondering if I can pay you to make an experiential video or pay you for private tutoring? Please let me know. Thank you so much!
@veraumosen2726
@veraumosen2726 Жыл бұрын
I really enjoyed your video , it is very helpful it refresh my brain for my exam.
@rk6032
@rk6032 11 ай бұрын
The 5 to 1 positive to negative ratio is during conflict, right? Not just in general?
@jonniemaemiddletonlotte6747
@jonniemaemiddletonlotte6747 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks.
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
You’re welcome, Jonnie ♥️
@DrAlJrTSC
@DrAlJrTSC Жыл бұрын
Great! Please make a video about solution-building couples therapy by Elliott Connie
@lilmommy31583
@lilmommy31583 2 жыл бұрын
What material do you use for your information on Gottman theory
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
AATBS. I have it linked in the description box.
@jaydacarter5109
@jaydacarter5109 2 жыл бұрын
The part that you say when someone else could be another religion 🤔.And the thinking of the four horsemen apocalypse… !!!!! 💓
@handsumnick
@handsumnick Жыл бұрын
I want to see a video on EFT by Sue Johnson. If you haven’t already. If you have please put link in comments 😊
@user-mw6dg5go2p
@user-mw6dg5go2p 2 ай бұрын
Inner family systems please 😊
@julianberard408
@julianberard408 9 ай бұрын
I didn't find the collaborative FT :(
@Tmoney9444
@Tmoney9444 Жыл бұрын
Do you have any good references for this theory??
@tarathompson3033
@tarathompson3033 Ай бұрын
How do you feel about Imago Therapy ?
@cellist81
@cellist81 Жыл бұрын
Would you recommend this method if one partner is leaning towards divorce?
@alyshaevans1133
@alyshaevans1133 Жыл бұрын
How can this method be utilized in premarital counseling
@juliannaokike3359
@juliannaokike3359 Жыл бұрын
What do you think about someone testing you with other people all the time.
@jaredvaughan1665
@jaredvaughan1665 3 ай бұрын
Emotional Focused Therapy was created by and for INFJ's. Gottman, being an INTJ, offered advice especially for INTJs. INFJs want emotional attachment. INTJs want to create space.
@destiny4534
@destiny4534 2 жыл бұрын
my parents have all 4 horsemen of the apocalypse 😭
@tatibannett9153
@tatibannett9153 2 жыл бұрын
Same😭😭
@backwoodsbandit3138
@backwoodsbandit3138 11 ай бұрын
Is there a book that fixes this? 😢
@grafxgrl8030
@grafxgrl8030 9 ай бұрын
It’s never too late. They loved each other enough to marry. Bringing Jesus into the middle of a marriage and following Him FIRST changes everything.
@ThatCamilleTho
@ThatCamilleTho 6 ай бұрын
Some people are comfortable in that dynamic till they’re not
@ThatCamilleTho
@ThatCamilleTho 6 ай бұрын
@@backwoodsbandit3138Gorman has a lot of books for this
@juliannaokike3359
@juliannaokike3359 2 жыл бұрын
Or someone coveting you when they get the same treatment or have the same access to resources as you do. What is that all about?
@raynikasmith8591
@raynikasmith8591 2 жыл бұрын
GOODMORNING World
@jessek-9scentdetectiontrai10
@jessek-9scentdetectiontrai10 2 жыл бұрын
👍🏼❤
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
♥️
@LoveAlwaysNayy
@LoveAlwaysNayy 2 жыл бұрын
Lol I clicked so fast like yay!!!!! lol
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the request!
@natbenny
@natbenny 4 ай бұрын
Girl you have different nails in every vid . Cute every time
@monniemugo1477
@monniemugo1477 2 жыл бұрын
Explain psychoanalytic theory
@juliannaokike3359
@juliannaokike3359 Жыл бұрын
Problem child the movie.
@lacaragilmore4599
@lacaragilmore4599 2 жыл бұрын
what did you hear that made you look like that?
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
Thunder!
@juliannaokike3359
@juliannaokike3359 Жыл бұрын
There are consequences of dating if you are not careful with decision making and dating.
@dilvashi7759
@dilvashi7759 Жыл бұрын
Unfortunately, the Gottman method is not at all popular, hence the colossal failures of most therapists. Gottman should be mandatory for therapy. After all, doesn't science matter?
@lolettao.9644
@lolettao.9644 2 жыл бұрын
Great video!
@StephAnya
@StephAnya 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
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