I’m 19 years old and have chosen to not have social media from the very beginning. Though it did not impact me much until after middle school (because it wasn’t as big for kids my age then) it became harder in high school. I didn’t make too many friends because most were always looking at their screens but the few I did make respected me for trusting my instincts and not having any social media. I’m in college now and I see this problem of other people my age increasing drastically. I’m just happy that I have trusted my instincts from the very beginning and I believe it has made me a better person for it. I’m one of the few 19 year olds who actually have real hobbies outside of shopping, makeup, and social appearances. I do what makes me happy in life and I’m so glad you have a much better way of explaining to people why social media is bad.

This is a great subject. I hope you delve into how to explain to your kids how to know who your REAL FRIENDS ARE. I detoxed from FB a few years ago. I went off for a year. Now I only use it as my own journal. SO MUCH HAPPIER! On the subject at hand- My 12 year old has a smartphone. I have given him a choice- he can get a driver’s license when he’s 16 or he can use social media. Basically, I’ve hardwired him up to have a goal to meet. Wanting to learn to drive and be independent is healthy. You could say, “well, maybe he’s doing it and you don’t know.” We know. He is monitored. AND he’s earned our trust. Number next- we were in the grocery store recently and my kid was helping me load the groceries on the belt, the guy behind me had a daughter the same age who was on her phone. He looked at me and said, “what are you gonna do? Social media right?” I said, “yeah, he has a smartphone but I have given him the choice, social media or the ability to get a driver’s license at 16.” My son said, without missing a beat and while still loading groceries, “I picked drivers license. I don’t need social media. I can go knock on my friends doors if I wanna hang.” 😃 That dad looked at me like I had discovered the Holy Grail. And then I told him that we also explained that if we ever found out that he was using social media behind our backs, not only would he not have a smartphone, he’d have to get one of those jitterbug phones (you know the ones marketed to people Over 75?) for emergencies and that’s all he’d EVER have until he was 18 and could sign his own contract. That 12 year old girl looked at me with such venom, it was bad. We got in the car and I said, “you know that girl?” My kid- “yep” Me- “is she gonna make your life hell because I gave her dad that idea?” My kid-“how would I know and why would I care? She CLEARLY only cares about herself. She wasn’t even helping her dad load the groceries.” *Proud Mama Moment* OMG! I love that kid! And free play is so important. There are 17 kids are on my block. One of my neighbors that has 4 boys (she’s also a nurse) paves her backyard and put up a basketball court and it’s open to all neighborhood kids. They all hang out all the time. Walk to the library. Built forts in the woods. And no scheduled extracurriculars. We want him to find his own way. He has chores and has to do 30mins of Yin-Yoga everyday (rx’d by his pediatrician which was a great thing). I think kids are over scheduled.

The irony is that he talks about exposing them to risk and adversary but says take away the social media to protect them. I say talk to them about the risk of social media and how to avoid or recognize the vindictive acts and how to respond to that so that the kids are prepared for this in the future.

Thank you so much for this psa and for the subtitles. I’m a deaf pediatric Hospice and palliative care RN who works with both the hearing and deaf communities. Your psa is something that I am going to share with my team and the pediatricians that I work with.👍

Hey ZDogg, Totally hear you on this. I ACTIVELY kept this (from my now, almost 18 year old) daughter. It must be massively addressed and remediated at a national level, and, on a societal and parental level. We have a responsibility to ensure our children are equipped with the necessary tools to succeed in life, and in today's world we are living in. (Especially in places like California... and, lovely Silicon Valley, my neighborhood). I only gave my child a phone as an older teen, used to call me and pick her up from practice. I would then take it back until the next practice day. (She did not, had not used nor was allowed have any in any social media, whatsoever). THE 2ND YEAR of HS, is when it all changed. So many factors (peers, schools using the "iCulture" fully embedded into the curriculum, other parents not actively taking a stance against "certain things"such as: making frequent statements excusing actions or behavior, not respecting other parents' wishes, the familiar "oh, its just them being teenagers," parents often supplying their children with more than just devices and allowing social media account's, and definitely....allowing their children to make the rules (ie- "No, I'm not going to do that, I'll get to it when I can, I don't want to, I won't, can't, don't care, that's their/her/his problem, no, no, NO!"etc.). It's definitely a problem. My daughter, a beautiful, well loved and behaved athletic scholar, did as she was told, could recite to you the harms of social media, toxic friends and superficial relationships probably at the age of 10. I could track her phone usage, so I knew she never visited social media until her sophomore year in HS (which she didn't like in the first place, after all, it WAS a prep school, filled with the abundantly privileged), buuuut, decided she was there for an excellent education, athletic opportunity and college choice. So, she decided she wanted to stay, refusing to let others' superficial thought process disrupt her own and effect her self-worth. (She unfortunately also had a dad who was abusive to mom, so in gett best interest, I left ASAP, but she was left feeling worthless when, her biological father abandoned her. Poor child, my heart broke for her). This is EXACTLY why I set out to prepare my daughter for this (often ugly) world by love, instilling boundaries, teaching her how to recognize toxic people, situations and relationships, that she is worth everything, can do anything she wants, accomplish anything she sets out to do, all the good stuff! She is an amazing girl. Everything was perfect, she preformed amazingly well in academics, athletics, and was emotionally mature. The beginning of Sophomore year is when it all started to change. Peers > mom/family at that moment. Teens are increasingly more influenced by their peers than home. As a result.. social media, changing views, no longer concerned with her views, despite intervention... and, unfortunately her school requires ipads, iPhones, and an apple mac. So, if, for example, she using an app that she knew was not appropriate or allowed, she already had known enough to connect all three so that if she did not have access to her phone ,she still had access to her phone. Accounts under (not her name), school had thier own 🍎 ID, so there was no way to control what she had access to. I was the enemy for monitoring all her online activity...as parents, we know we will do anything we have to in order to protect our kids,while also allowing them to fall, so they can learn to get back up. I think The worst part was watching her begin to "follow" The crowd. It was quite shocking to hear So many things would never expect to hear her say/think anything of the sort! "It's not a popularity contest," I said when she was running for a particular position.(And yes. I understand it's high school; a full blown popularity contest unfortunately. However, I said this in part because her response previous to this, Would have been regarding the content of her stance and what she had to offer the student body. She responded,"That's all it is, that's whats important." Although true sometimes, this was never, ever her. This was the beginning. To get To the point: She felt "not good enough," when she came to the school in relation to her dad.. not her self-worth,weight, depression, anxiety, anger, isolation and bad behavior. Eating disorders, ETOTH, refusing to go to her psyMD. Shcockingly, most of the kids at her school were also seen for depression. A mixture of social Media, as Well as the"Extremely Wealthy" children at her school. And, who knows their backgrounds. Either way, it's clear. If we want something done, we have to advooate harder for our children, than we do for our patients to get everyone on board to get this! I don't believe electronics should be used at all;except for...Max, word. Hmmm

I disagree. They will find a way around it...and if it's disallowed it's more enticing. Instead we need to have a safe communication environment at home so they feel comfortable talking about what happens to them during daily life. Being home is not "safe" from drama either...as parents of girls know...they replay events that happened at school with exactly the same issues discussed here. Bullying, reputation destroying, isolation, etc. Now if a child is addicted to social media that's a different animal. Eliminating social media entirely is just another way of trying to shield them from the world around them. That being said, we should be wary of allowing it at too young an age, imo. If they aren't prepared to deal with it before they head off to college it could be worse for them when they are on their own without parental support. Social media definitely can be a problem...but it is a problem unique to their generation. As was rock and roll, as was hippie culture, etc., etc., etc. SM has its upside as well. My children have met and made friends from around the world without having been born into a wealthy family that travels abroad. They can not only learn about countries and cultures from books, they can see it through the eyes of those who live there. Maybe curriculum should be developed on responsible use and how to deal with the abuse.

Hey Zubin. I've got less than two years left at highschool (in australia). I'm probably not going to be extremely insightful, but yes, there are definitely issues with our generation and social media. About a month ago, I tried to remove myself from most of the personal social medias (facebook, instagram, snapchat, etc) (but left reddit, because I treat it more as a news feed). In doing this, I actually 'got shit' from friends for not communicating on these platforms. I can definitely appreciate the concern of parents; increasing suicide rates in all age groups, but particularly young adult/teens, however, I don't think stripping away social media is going to solve it. It's going to require kids to be encouraged to go outside, and socialise face to face, and as you said, partake in more risk taking activities. It's become integral to how be build relationships. I do use still use messenger (and rarely snapchat) for school work and communicating with friends to organise activities. My school actually banned mobile phones this year as well. I'm not in favour of it, in particular for the older students as it becomes a really useful tool in the classroom but whatever - we're all surviving.

i'm 15 and got my social media deleted by my parents and let me tell you it is horrible. Cant wait until i'm 18 and can get it back and run away.

I see it every week in clinic. The mobile addiction starts YOUNG… swipe gestures become native to 2-3 year olds quite quickly. Before you know it, taking the phone/tablet away is one-way ticket to tantrums.

Fascinating book! Dr's Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff are brilliant! The Righteous Mind is also well worth reading.

You have just confirmed what has been on my mind for some time!

Perfect to the point, I too have 2 daughters it is beast of a world out there, they do not have cell phones not because my wife and I are mean they just don't need them We take them to school they call grandparents using our phones and that's it. I see the strain of social media at the hospital I could not even imagine at schools nice job zdogg love ur videos and from keep kicking some butt with all these great issues

I learned about this in developmental psychology. Thanks for highlighting! This is a very important issue. Btw, I'm loving the beard. Very handsome!

Love this video ZDoggMD, but it's not just girls. Boys too deal with a lot of anxiety and depression that needs to be taken seriously in schools...and I have done just that with both my boys, now 23 and 29.

The internet can be a dangerous place for younger people, especially young girls. I unfortunately had to learn this the harder way. The internet taught me not to trust people and what other people say doesn't matter.

Your kids will find ways to get around you to be on social media. A better approach would be to encourage open dialogue for what is acceptable on social media so that they feel comfortable discussing things with you.

I just wanted to say thank you for the subtitles! :)

The phone thing is definitely an issue. we dont teach our kids the importance of face to face relationships which helps us become genuine people and to know ourselves better. The other reason is because society as a whole runs on HIGH emotion ....everybody gets offended by everything...tough skinned people are hardly existent anymore because the younger generation is taught to live life with their hearts on their sleeves and any sign of opposition is bad. not all opposition is bad... it helps reveal who we are and what we believe and are willing to stand for. It grows us into well rounded individuals with a healthy respect for others and a love that encourages change and growth. Insecurity is born out of emotional turbulence and a failure to guide our kids. We as adults need to get the phones out of our faces and teach by example...getting together with people in person, sharing our human side with our kids so they know they are not alone and there are no new experiences under the sun. Isolation with insecurity is a death sentence. A very close and longtime friend of mine lost her 16 yr old to this very epidemic ...we gotta stop being too busy and too preoccupied with our own stuff. Sometimes taking a page out of the history books is not a bad thing as Z proved when his family started the " no tech Sundays" it is possible to have fruitful time together without technology....we all need to follow suit...for the sake of our kids.

z-pups MUST be protected from this from all costs.

I'm hoping some of this will be worked out before it's an issue for my little girl, (she's a toddler) but yeah, the hardest part about letting her and her brother take risks is that our society always has someone freaking out if I'm not hovering. Social media will be a much bigger issue later; many teachers have set up facebook pages or what have you for the class. _That_ page is of course monitored by the teacher, but who can say what's going on the side.

I 💯 % .....1,000 % AGREE! I am absolutely behind you ! Our youngest daughter just turned 16 and the only way she is allowed to have a phone, is that we can and DO monitor all texts & no social media ( until 18 and she graduates). My husband is in law enforcement and sees this growing trend of phone obsession and it’s FRIGHTENING! We have “unplug” days, family dinners and holidays are NO phone days, etc. I’m behind you Z! ... my whole family with “youngsters” has been behind this movement for awhile !! Nice job ZDogg, we will pass this idea around our “circles” as well. 👍📵😉

"and then i'm gonna get slapped by both my daughters across the face, which is a sign that they're tough" no, it means they became physically aggressive like boys

In addition, there's this new idea of free-range parenting where parents don't tell their kids no or stick to their guns after administering a consequence. I think this sets kids up to not be able to handle the real world because in the real world, you're going to be told no...a lot. When I would act up and get my games or whatever taken away, I would cry and bawl like it was the end of the world, but my parents were like "Go ahead and cry all you want, you'll live." And I feel like small instances like that have allowed me to deal with things that don't go as planned or when I make a mistake.

Unfortunately for this message, social media is here to stay, at least for the foreseeable future. Children need help and teaching to navigate the internet and to recognize the dangers. Denying them access, denying them an iphone or smart phone, is over-sheltering while all their friends have them and are sharing all kinds of things they find at TikTok and other sites. Psychological damage, I believe, is worse if a child feels alienated, outcast, and different from her peers. Authors Craig Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt discuss and advise against this over-protection in their book "The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure".

Imma save you some time here: ITS MAKING THEM CRAZY!!!!!!

Dude I love these shorter videos, please make more shorts

Yo ZDoggMD, you gotta get Jordan Feigenbaum (MD) Barbell Medicine on the show!

My friends granddaughter just mentioned that no one in high school has a Samsung phone cause they are looked down upon. Only an iPhone is accepted in high school in our area. So their parents HAVe to get iphones for them so these girls are not bullied. Can you imagine this nonsense.

Powerfully interesting view! But I don't think the world is getting any safer. Cell phones are damaging and increase stress to a more deadly level IMHO. Thanks for the great video!

finally!!!! someone said it

I wonder if more values-based education would lessen these problems. We have bent over backward to make education values-free.

It’s hard to get phones out of kids’ hands nowadays

I disagree with dividing the type of aggressivity with the gender. I have seen both type of aggressivity, physical and reputation attacks made by both genders. I can also assure you that young boys are in the reputation attack as much as girls are. I do believe tho that girls are getting some sort of over scrutiny that is almost obsessive. They must be always aware of how they pose, what they wear, how they walk and even tho will get trouble just for being a girl. There is an increase of woman hating out there and for working with men and boys all day I can tell you the younger generation is getting worse. They spend their breaks and lunch times on social media looking at girls and you wouldnt want to hear what they say about them. Its your daughter, its my sister but for them its a sc*m bag.

Can you please talk about Elsagate videos on KZfaq? Those nursery songs, with unappropriate content directed at toddlers

Is there data supporting this? If so where can i find it?

Wow, some people are really delusional if they think their children are going to have an open dialogue with them about some of this stuff. Hey, if you pull it off more power to you ... In my opinion it would be more beneficial to have an open dialogue with your kids on why they shouldn't be on social media until they at minimum reach high school age.

"Whatever gender" well quotation marks have 2 lines for a reason XD

You watch too much of the Joe Rogan Experience lmao

This is bs

OMG ZDogMD just came out as a white supremacist