My adoptive mother was unable to have kids and chose to adopt so I now have a wonderful family that I am eternally thankful for. ❤️

My best friend always talked about having kids. She picked out names, she said what traits she wish they would have... She just learned she's sterile. She hasn't stopped crying for three days.

It seems like the ones that can't have kids would be the best parents then the ones that can end up being horrible parents. And that doesn't mean every parent is bad for you simple minded people.

That broke my heart , they look like they would be amazing moms...

I'm 14... As far as I know, I'm able to have kids when I'm grown up/married, but even so, I always dream of adopting. I feel like there's something so precious about giving a child a chance that they might have not otherwise had.

It's weird...I don't *_want_* kids but if I ever found out that I *_couldn't_* ...I would probably feel pretty robbed because I *_couldn't_*, that I lost that choice and it really would upset me a lot more than I'd let on. So if someone like me, who doesn't want kids, is upset at the thought of not having that option...I really can't imagine what it's like wanting kids but not being able to have them

I was adopted because my mom couldn't have kids on her own :) it was the best thing that could of happened to me. I thank God every day and I wasn't aborted and that I was adopted into such a good home. :) ( yo thanks for the likessss )

woah she does not look 38 id say like 24

For everyone who is saying to "just adopt", it's not at as simple as that. The fact that when you know you can't have kids of your own, you feel like something is being robbed from you. Even if you never really wanted children, it's still a choice that is taken away from you.

This makes me feel bad for not wanting to ever have kids. I wish I could give my ability to have kids to these women

Honestly, as a guy if I were dating a girl who can't have a baby. I would be fine with that. I would love her no matter what.

I'm only 15 but I know I'm not going to have kids. I have a severe chronic illness that affects every system in my body but especially my nervous system. It can be genetic and in most cases it is transferred to the child. I have lost my whole childhood and teenage years to this disease and I would never be able to live with myself if I passed it on to my child. They would have to suffer through the agony I have suffered through and that would be horrible. My mom had watched me suffer with my disease and I know it hurts her so I could never imagine watching my child and knowing that I gave this to them. It's just not right. It's also unsafe for me to carry a baby. So I'm just going to adopt! I will be helping and child in need and I will never pass my genes on. It's the best of both worlds. I'm just hoping my future husband is okay with it😕

Okay seriously- what's up with all these comments of 'go adopt'! Adoption is not that easy! It's not a thing of, "Oh I'm infertile let me go adopt." It's a matter of whether or not you are able or willing to take a chance and adopt a baby who comes from a background you may or may not know, to deal with probable future existential questioning, to go through the sea of paperwork and waiting and being let down over and over. Adoption is a beautiful thing- but having your own child is an experience many women crave, and to belittle it with cries of 'oh why can't you just be nice to all those orphans and adopt' is shameful. Only give advice about adoption if you have adopted, and don't ridicule sadness if you have not felt it. Oh, and grow up while your at it.

Hmm I've always seen the girl with overalls in videos talking about how she hates kids... Defense mechanism? It's so sad and not being able to have kids is literally one of my biggest fears

They should interview men who are infertile

Yes, she's 38. East Asians don't age until they turn 60. On their 60th birthday they wake up looking like they're 90.

I don't want kids. I wish I could switch with these ladies, give them the ability to conceive and take away mine so people stop judging me for not wanting kids.

Please adopt, if you have love to give to a child ,it doesn't have to share your DNA to be your family. The world is a ugly place for a lot of these orphans, you can actually be the change in the world you always wanted and in the same vein change both your lives forever.

people who cannot have children may end up being better parents than people who are able to be pregnant as sometimes, having a child can be an accident and can be unwanted, whereas people who are infertile would be the ones who would be most grateful and thankful that they have children... just a thought...

This is the exact reason why I loathe the question, "When are YOU/YOU GUYS gonna have some kids?" simply because 1) not everyone is physically able to and it's no one else's business 2) there are people out there who just don't want kids which is their choice. In either case the question is inconsiderate (and just plain nosy). People need to be more mindful of things like that. Maybe its just me..

38?! She looks like 25

Never give your hopes up, my mom was told ever since she was 14 that she would never have kids considering she had to have a miscarriage because she got pregnant because she was raped. No one ever thought that she would ever have kids and when she was 39 she was told that she was pregnant with me, and she didn't believe it even from her doctor. My mom literally had one ovary when she got pregnant with me and had to have a c section and now, 13 years later, I'm here. Miracles CAN happen

My auntie was told she couldn't have kids. There was about a 13% chance she could get pregnant. She finally got pregnant one day and she is now pregnant with twins! A boy and a girl and I've never been more happy for someone! I still can't believe it, there will be 2 new additions to my family next month!

My mom found out that she couldnt keep babies when she was 21. She lost 5 babies. She was hopeless but after 14 years of trying she finally found that she was going to have me. After many treatmeants to keep the pregnancy she finally gave birth to me and her intere world changed! I never realised how much she sacrifed and tried to keep me alive. I love you mom although i don't always say that! Thank you for being in my life and giving me the most precious gift:my life!

when I was 14, my period stopped because I was about 10 lbs under the average weight for my age and size. I haven't had it since and until it ever starts again (idk if it ever will) I won't be able to have kids. As a young teenager, that fact in my mind was pretty scary to me.

The asian girl is 38?She looks 28

Im a 14 year old girl recently diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrom and uterine cancer and i just found out about a week ago. My worst fear in life was not being able to have kids. I've always loved kids and volunteered at Children hospitals and daycares and I couldn't wait to be able to have my own one day. When I found out I had almost a 98% chance of being infertile I broke down crying and thought I lost my purpose in life. This video has helped me realize that there are other girls out there who have gone through what I'm going through and that as the women said, "You don’t have to give birth to someone to be their mother." I am currently going through therapy to help combat my depression due to being infertile and this has really helped me seeing such strong women talk about their similar experiences.Thank you buzzfeed and the women in this video! 💕💕

I'm 17 and just found out that I won't be able to have children. It's one of the most heartbreaking thing to hear, but I'm going to see through this obstacle. I'm going to try to stay strong and find alternatives for my future.

I can probably have kids, but I'm really excited to adopt when I'm older. I want lots and lots of kids without the pregnancy part.

I am an adopted child. I love my mother in every way possible. Due to problems she was not able to have her own kids, so she decided to to take a chance on me. I was adopted from birth, so I have no idea what it is like to have no mother, but I am very grateful for my parents.

I’ve got pcos and lost an ovary when I was 13. I never imagined that in 2021 I would be getting a miracle baby and I’m 19 weeks along so far 😭♥️ Hope exists!

My mother was told she couldn't have kids and little did she know she was pregnant with me and I was born at 6 months. She had a healthy baby girl. Her doctors called it a miracle...always keep faith

''I'm 38 and I don't want kids'' Waiiiit a second, let's just rewind for a moment.. YOU'RE 38 ?! Are you a vampire ?

I'm only 16, and I've always had problems with my reproductive system. I've been tested for multiple conditions over the last 3 years and they've all come back inconclusive. The only thing that is definite is that I won't be able to have kids. And even though I'm young, it really hurts knowing that even if I want to have children, I won't be able to. This video really hit home.

Brave women! I think they are very courageous to open up and share they're experiences. Being a mother is much more than physically giving birth. The gift of motherhood is the ability to care and nurture a child. The love a mother gives to a child is what's important. 😊

I have never wanted children, and I am 18 and the thought still repels me. All though I really wish I could give my ability (as far as I know) to have children to somebody who actually wants a child. :(

As an 18 year old who's just found out she will not be able to have children , I thank you for shining some light on the 'taboo' subject of fertility issues experienced by young women.

If you can't have kids, adopt. Love them as if they were your own. You will be making the life of someone else better as well as yours.

I found out when I was 19 that I couldn't have children. We tried for 7 years with more test, medications, procedures than I care to count. Every time we did conceive I would miscarry. Finally we made the decision to just be. Just be ok with our life and our family and all. A year later we received a call that forever changed our lives. Someone we knew was pregnant and didn't want the baby. So two months later I cut the cord of our son, who is now 7 years old. I believe that everything we went though prepared us to love the amazing child we were blessed with.

When I was little I had cancer. They had to remove my uterus in order for me to survive. I won't be able to have kids😢

I CANNOT believe that girl in grey shirt is 38, she seems so young and pretty I would give her 25-26 tops

I have hyper thyroid and pcos and am currently pregnant. :) Was told I never would have children.

my mom was in a really bad car wreck when she was 18 and was told she could never have kids, and yet me and my sister were born :) dont ever give up hope.

yo, take my eggs. I ain't gonna use em

I didn't know how much I needed this video until I watched it. About 6 months ago I was told that for some reason that they aren't really sure of, I was born without ovaries. That news to a 16 (now 17) year old was and still is devastating, especially since I wanted children. It doesn't seem like a major problem but I can honestly say I've never felt like more of a mistake in my life. I thought that there was something wrong with me. That maybe I shouldn't have ever been born. As scary as it seems, I basically didn't want to exist anymore. I'm still partially in denial because I just keep hoping that they made a mistake and that I'm not a messed up person. But everyday I come a little bit closer to accepting it. Thank you so much for making this video, Buzzfeed.

Bish, hold up! 3:24... She is 38 !???!? Bishh, I thought she was like 28 :')

My social studies teacher can’t have kids. It’s so sad because she would be the most amazing mother. She treats us like her kids, we are her life. One time somebody said “your such a mom” and her face lit up, she said that she had been wanting to be called mom her whole life, but it had never happened until then

Very glad there are infertile women out there who have found peace with it. Thank you. I'm 31 and the only married female in the family without a child, not by choice. The women I have been close with are always saying how much they wished they'd never had children and how lucky I am to not have any. It's the most difficult environment to live in when you want a baby, but you're infertile. It has created a very bitter, jealous, angry, and incredibly depressing reaction in me when I hear or see anything related to babies. I'm happy for people on the outside, but inside I'm tormented. Yes, adoption is always available, but you need thousands of dollars up front. We don't have that, and I don't believe I could handle the constant heart break of fostering either.

This is seriously one of my biggest fears 😕

that's upsetting. Hopefully I don't end up unable to have kids.

9 years of surgeries and hormones and procedures, 6 invitro's and finally adopted my son. I still grieve. I will never get over the pain

This is a tough subject that people just don't "get" until you're there. Thank you for sharing your stories on behalf of the ladies that have to go through this feeling alone, myself included.

My mother died while she was giving birth to me , so that's why i'll never have kids

The worst part is when you see your friends getting pregnant and having multiple children.

Im 23 now, i cant have kids if i ever did it would be a miracle. I know im a lil young to have a child but knowing i never can makes it hard. Plus alll of the women i know are having kids. My fiance did to i feel im letting him down because Its my fault. I use to cry a lot.. When i found out i had to quit working at a daycare running the infant room, i would cry daily. everyday was a battle after i found out. Just the other day his friend who just had a baby asked when we would have kids letting him know we couldnt was hard to say, but even harder i think for him when he heard it, because i could tell he felt awkward and terrible like he might have hurt me and i would cry 😢. I kind of did... But this video helps it makes me see that one day it will be easier knowing that i cant and no matter what ill make it. Thank you buzzfeed.

This is my worst nightmare..I can’t imagine a live without kids..I pray everyday that I will have kids and nothing will happen to me that might cause infertility 🙏🏾🙏🏾 That’s my only and biggest wish in live.. to be a mom

My wife and I can't have children and at that time we both fell into depression. I wanted to be a father so bad and seeing all these teenage parents I started to really go downhill. I was so depressed I tried to hang myself but was found unconscious. We later got approved to adopt. After 8 months of classes and background check we were approved. 2 days later we got a call for a new born boy. Rarely it happens this fast. My son is now 6 and he looks just like I did as a little boy. I'm glad I went through that hard time because I wouldn't trade him for anything. I know it's hard...I've been there. But don't give up.

I'm 15 and I can't have kids. The hardest part will be figuring out when to tell my future husband or boyfriend

I'd be relieved if I couldn't have children, but I understand how heart-breaking it can be for people who do want kids...

I had my son at 39 after years of trying and then just giving up. He was a total surprise after all the heartbreak. My heart goes out to these ladies. ♥️

I've always known I don't want to have children. I think it's because I knew my own childhood was wrong, and that myself and siblings were so neglected I knew I couldn't bring a child into the world. I don't want to pass on my mental illness to a child like my parents did to me. I didn't choose to be born but I can choose not to bring a child into my life.

adopt one....

This is absolutely spot on. Definitely hit home I love this video. Being someone who also cannot have children.

"Think about all the motherly characters or influences in your life, not all of them gave birth to you." That was my favorite quote in this video

Not wanting kids, and being someone who's getting a surgery to prevent that from happening; if I could, I'd give one of these women my uterus and be like here, use it, have kids!

This is literally my biggest fear

This made me cry 😭 This is so sad and such a beautiful message

This video made me so sad. I'm watching it as my newborn baby lays asleep on my chest, I am so grateful. I could not imagine how devastating it would be to not be able to have children. So sorry to the people that cannot.

For being 38 yrs old she looks good.

WOAH SHE'S 38

I'll never find my soulmate. All the dudes want a Baby in the future but I don't want any. You are forced to give up everything because It's a "Woman's job" Screw that I enjoy a good nap without being bothered.

I found out today I can’t have kids... I’m so lost and heart broken.

My mom couldn't have children, so she adopted me when I was a newborn. To us, it makes no difference that I'm adopted. We've always had the best mother-daughter relationship. Families are bonded by love, not blood.

This is a serious video and it's upsetting that most of the comments are talking about being early...or what number comment you were.

I have an 11 week old baby in my belly. After watching this, I know that I'm very lucky.

I am lucky I have a daughter but I don't think I appreciated just how truly lucky I am and was. This has made me so thankful and greatful of all the people out there who are surrogates and run adoptive services. Your parents are the ones who hold your hand when you're scared, take care of you when you're sick, pick you up when you fall and shout with happiness at your victories. You are not a parent by simply giving birth you have to love them with all of your heart! You are a parent by loving them so much they could travel the world and know you are thinking of them back home! This video had me so emotional xxx

One of the hardest things about infertility is going on all over this thread. Everyone tries to "fix" it for you. Infertility and the emotions it causes are not something that can be fixed with an adoption. Adoption does not change the ability of someone to have their own biological child. Nor does it make it less noble. When that is taken from you, you question faith, your body, your womanhood. You get angry, depressed and frustrated. If you have a period it's a reminder your body doesn't work, if you don't have one...the same. Constant reminders that your body can't do something that plenty of morons manage to do every day. You find ways to cope, like telling yourself your brother will have kids...until he and his wife can't either. Then you look at your family tree and know that when you die, a whole branch of your family tree dies too. You're it, the last of a line of generations and your body failed. That's infertility.

The Asian lady is sooooo pretty

Thank you. oh my goodness thank you so much for this video. God knows how badly i needed some reassurance and strength after being diagnosed with premature ovarian failure then facing the hard fact that i am also ineligible for IVF. I know life goes on but sometimes things are too hard to not stop your life. Being someone who loves kids broke my heart knowing I can never have my own; but ladies, your words gave me so much strength. thank you

I was told I was infertile when I was 15 and it was unexplained why. So I grew up believing I would never get pregnant. Here I am, 6 months pregnant after 9 months of “trying” per se. women’s bodies are miracles. Don’t ever give up hope ❤️

I was diagnosed with severe PCOS last year, and I had to get a surgery to have the cysts removed. There was a tiny mistake, and now I'm permanently infertile at 15. I always wanted to adopt, because I was adopted, but the knowledge that not having children is no longer a choice, and is now mandatory is saddening. It was always my decision not to have children, but now, it's the only decision.

She's 38?! I thought she was like 20 ...

Watching this gives me such a heavy heart. I know exactly how these women feel. I tried for 4 years and was told by a doctor 'the likelihood of it happening is very low i must admit'. I went through 7 rounds of clomid and the last round worked and now my 7 month old son max is asleep in the next room. I will never forget just how scary low it got over those years. If anyone is struggling to conceive just remember that sometimes the doctors arent always right. Have faith and i wish you all the luck and happiness in the world

Thank you. I needed this.

I was adopted :)

This is a good video but I really wish they would have included a male perspective. Men live with infertility too and they have to suffer with the same pain as these women. Most of them can't even talk about it because in our society men have to always act tough and not show emotions. Infertile men typically suffer in silence.

so sorry to you three :-( Thanks for sharing your stories! and to all other suffering from infertility I hope you find the strength to cope, it is a really sad and lonely thing to experience when so badly want to be a mother. I have PCOS and it took 2 years but I did finally get pregnant with my miracle daughter. Now she is 19 months old and I hope so badly to one day give her a sibling. Good luck to everyone!

I'm a teen and I found out I can't have kids when I was really little so seeing this video really makes me feel empowered!! Thank you

woah I didnt fucking come here for feels god damn it buzzfeed

I know that saying "just adopt" may come off as inconsiderate so I won't say "just adopt", I'll say more than that. Finding out that you cannot have children must be heart-wrenching. It is something that you would grief like the loss of a loved one. If you really want children still, then you consider adoption. It's not "just adopting", it's creating a bond with a child who needs love. You are taking that love that you have and giving it to YOUR child. When you adopt, it is YOUR CHILD! They become your baby

For lady's that can have children's be happy your bless . because females like me can't.😔😔🍼So the ones that can have kids hug your babies and tell them you love them😭🙏❤🍼🍼

my mum was told she couldn't have kids, but she blew their minds. she had me.

To those people saying to "just adopt" and it's "no big deal," it very much is! Perhaps not to you, but it's still valid and okay to be heartbroken to not be able to have your own flesh-and-blood child. You don't get the opportunity to experience the pregnancy nor birth yourself. (That's what really kills me.) Many people had dreampt about having their own biological children since they themselves were children, and many want it with every ounce of their being, so to get a diagnosis like this is unbearable to plenty. The desire to have your own child isn't just magically cured when you adopt (think of a mourning process), and adopting for the sake of trying to make that desire disappear is not fair to you nor the child. As un-idealistic it is, not everyone is capable of fully accepting and loving an adopted child, and it is important to know which is true of yourself before taking that step. You should adopt when you know you already have an open heart for the adopted child and the strength to get through the adoption process that will almost indefinitely cost tens of thousands of dollars out of pocket (whereas having your own child is largely, if not entirely, covered by medical insurance) on top of the usual material preparations, and may take over 5 years from filing without any certainty rather than 9-ish straightforward months from conception! Adoption isn't over the moment you take the child home either. You have to get to know the child and they you, like mothers to newborn babies, BUT this gets increasingly difficult the older the child is due to their previous life experiences that are out of your control which may make them reject you, act out against anyone around them, or even try to harm themselves. This, all on top of being a new parent. You have to have the strength, love, and willpower to get through this. We're very much aware of other options of parenthood aside from our own births, but no matter what is said about love, that does not change the fact that adoption (as well as surrogacy, fostering, etc.) and biological birth are very different experiences. That is what is being mourned.

This was great, but I would also like to hear from men who cant have children as well.

This video is beautiful. Going through exactly what the lady in blue has and it's comforting to know I'm not alone.

This video makes me feel less alone.. thank you. After years of trying, 2 ectopics and 2 miscarriages and now I'm 40, I'm starting to feel like it won't happen. I'm having a hycosy scan next week to find out if my one remaining tube is blocked. Anyway, I found comfort in this video and will watch it a lot. Thank you for sharing, you brave beautiful ladies xxx

I'm so sorry for you. My aunty has fibromyalgia and couldn't have children. She was best friends to my mum and her friends kids were like hers in a way and I'm glad she was in the delivery room when I was born so she experienced somewhat what she missed out on. When I hear of people who abort their babies and don't want children and I see cases where people want them so desperately like my aunty who tried for like almost 10 years it breaks my heart.

I don't know how I would function knowing I couldn't have children. Jut the feeling knowing that you and many other women in the world aren't able to create beautiful new life into this world. It's heartbreaking.

What a lovely video ! Very powerful message. I would love to adopt one day.

I have Hashimoto's thyroiditis and hypothyroidism, and PCOS. Similar to the woman in the blue blouse. This video has always resonated with me. I'm very glad that Buzzfeed made this, and similar videos about topics that can be hard to talk about, but affect many of us. It really helps to feel not so alone.