It is all basic.. Be who you are ..period Married 40 years. We just wanted to be in a real place with each other..I was there for him,and he for me..comfort. Until death do us part. Love ❤

1:27 Introduction 3:01 Authenticity, be yourself 11:19 Intellectual Humility 20:05 Emotional Safety 26:47 Authentically Vulnerable Emotionally - emotional availability

*You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you.*

I think a man wants peace! A place where he can come home to and know he won't be judged, he doesn't have to compete, and whatever happens, you've got his back!

I went on two dates with this guy , I was vulnerable and he did not open up whatsoever.. I really liked him and was trying to get to know him but trying to pull things out of somebody is exhausting. Good luck out there ladies .

It was interesting to listen to this whole conversation from a males perspective. Something that is not covered for Men & Women are our hormonal changes for both genders after 50. Speaking as a 56 year old woman, I'm not as emotional as I use to be with less estrogen, I don't always have the patience for emotions and just want to get to the solution. Men are softer emotionally as they mature, it's scientifically written about especially as their sex drive changes. It's a reminder for something to be aware of knowing that there has been a biological shift within me and to make an effort in supporting my potential love mate emotionally as well.

Question for you guys: I genuinely have these qualities. Why do guys jump at the 'red flag' women instead of me then? Where do I find guys with these qualities as well? Help a Canadian girl out please ;)

What I can't jive with is someone who 1) demonizes people on the other side of the political fence..asserting that the other side is populated by idiots, insane people, yada yada yada.. or 2) a guy who is triggered by his ex and calls her a psycho, blaming the relationship on her. He picked her for a reason, so he needs to look at himself and why he chose her and address that --take responsibility. 3) Cringy sexuality. A guy who has obviously been with hundreds of women, and is constantly in seduction mode. Any of those is a HUGE, full stop red flag. I don't want people like that taking my time.

Give what you want to get. That’s a powerful statement. Love it.

This all goes both ways not just women, but men also. I have experienced this with men. I spend time working on myself also due to wounds from childhood and in adulthood.

They want 1. Pretty face. 2. Skinny body. 3. Do the same activities they like.

Ooo. This ends on a dangerous note around the 27:00 mark. Women tend to say things like that because they grew up being goaded by men for feminine behavior/reactions/emotions. They're told, "What are you going to do now, cry?" or "Oh, she must be on her period," or "Be careful now, we wouldn't want you to break a nail". Their fathers and brothers teach them to work on cars and how to beat up an attacker. Their male friends during their teen years give them praise when they get tough and tell a young man off or show strength against him during competition. So yeah, if fathers and brothers treat their girls this way, then those ladies will have the reaction towards men for not behaving like strong men when they themselves were encouraged to take on those qualities by men during their life. It really is a pointless circular argument because then men can strike back on how they were taught to be more gentle and nurturing. Then they become "lazy/inactive" as a reaction, which adds more fuel to the fire for women to spark off about. A lot of women feel they do more than men, but most men get to enjoy the financial advantages and play time. Then the men turn it on the women again when they don't physically put out because they're too tired or don't have that kind of connection with the man any longer... seeing him as a child to be taken care of rather than a partner who loves them, protector, or provider. A man who truly cares for a woman would be a protector and provider as well, not just a lump on the couch waiting to be served and cleaned up after/entertained. If that's how they are seen, then it is also difficult to respect them because then she'd be respecting someone who seemingly does little of anything while she does 5 things at once and on 4 hours or less of sleep (while he complains how tired he is after drinking with his buddies the night before and now has to go to work). Also, women get tired of men pushing them aside saying, "I got it" or "I'm fine" when they're not fine. There comes a time where the feminine energy has enough and says herself, "ok you're fine. I'm going to ignore you now and go about life as if you need nothing" because really why would she take on another unnecessary task on top of all the other ones she has to do already? The feminine energy will shut down and treat the masculine just as any ol' joe on the street might just because he is not open to nurturing when it is offered. The cycle continues. They both spiral into opposite corners in anger and rejection, filled with dissatisfaction and gradually develop contempt for one another. This is probably why the bible instructs women to submit unto their husbands, because that's what it's going to take to stop the cycle. And my opinion is that takes greater strength. However, I don't recall the bible saying you have to submit to a boyfriend or dating prospect, so until she becomes married to that man, it is what it is. The whole thing is dumb. If you want to be independent, then be independent. There will be emotional wounds single or together anyway. Maybe it's a matter of how much you can stomach.

I follow you and I’m married. I love your videos. I still implement many of the things that you talk about to keep things fresh because we do forget! I’m 34 years in and keeping it fresh is so important.

I think this channel should have millions of likes. I'm from Argentina and I search information in other languages because there's always something else that other KZfaqrs don't have. I appreciate you guys for sharing these valuable knowledge.

I liked this podcast or video ..I have the shell at first ..Men really like compliments..I think that I need to work on some things in relationships ..thank you for pointing things out to us in an emotionally tactful way..I appreciate your video.

I'm an old fashioned woman but when it comes to being with a man that I care about I find it very attractive when a man can be honest a real man can be honest if a man was honest with me I would keep his confidentiality I wouldn't be talking about him behind his back to my friends I think women, wives who do that breach that special confidence they should each have for each other

Love it, great video ❤️

Thank you for these valuable tips, gentlemen.

Yes we're always supposed to be as positive as possible but when we have a situation where there's contention we have to love each other enough to be respectful and decent and share our feelings and listen to each other out of respect and decency

This has been very helpful and gives me insight into why relationships flop and others survive. This has been the most helpful of what other discussions and presentations I've heard. Like the icing on the cake! It all makes sense and completes the picture. Thank you guys!

All this might be well and good once in a relationship. Before you even get there weight and outward beauty are the most important things to men. They will pass by a terrific female to go after the skinny pretty ones. Be real people.

I as a woman does share feelings, want him to share his.

Relationship is partnership. A partner can be a good listener and willing to create solutions than become a problem . A partner is the one that you can tell anything without judgement willing to work out the relationship to thrive. Talk the problems instead of ignoring it.

Great talk, men! Thank you. 🌹

My bf is to toxically positive --- unwilling to address problems / just sweep them under the rug like all's well.

I agree we have to be real with each other that's what closeness and Communications all about during the good times and the bad times mentally physically whatever monetarily

What if it's not toxic positivity, but turning on or activating a parasympathetic nervous system and sometimes it's activated also by smile or positive approach, so the body will not downregulate the genes, downregulate the immune system by and increasing the stress hormones that create diseases. Create peace inside body chemistry neurology and epigenetics But to some people, it may just appear to be toxic positive. Be positive but not overreacting positively. Even some very positive smilling people use in serious situations a silent humble voice. maybe a good tool to activate the parasympathetic system is doing sports, going for a walk, and stopping analyzing the problems too much at work or in relationships. Some said the great idea that often some problems are solved by themselves... the more we try to solve them the less it's solved. Some problems need action but some dont, some just need a peaceful approach.

I haven’t made it all the way through yet but you just got on the thing about smart people. There’s a huge difference between IQ smart and streetsmart. For instance, there was this woman who had an IQ of 140 I believe it was and she thought it would be smart to sneak into her ex-boyfriend’s chimney. Well, she ended up dying because she kind of got stuck and basically couldn’t breathe. Just because someone has a high IQ doesn’t mean that they’re smart in all aspects of life. I come from a more streetsmart background, so I definitely wouldn’t be going down someone’s chimney. And honestly, I don’t think I could see myself with a guy that is high IQ super smart dude.

When I was a baby I was a cry baby and was constantly told to shut up or be quiet 🤫 now as an adult I stay quiet and shutdown during conflict.

I like you guys,keep on your good work,the right messages for us,women

How likely is it to find a real transparent guy in his 60s being self reflective and is capable of true emotional maturity?

I've been single almost 8 years. It's hard to meet anyone in New Mexico. Selection is limited

So This information is really helpful. I love the ideas on being more realistic. I have this guy friend that I totally fell for because he is so real and so good to me. I remember wanting more but when i got the courage to tell him how i felt, he told me that we had talked about this before and that we couldn't have a romantic relationship because it's something happened he never talks again to the women he was in that type of relationship with and he didn't want that. Plus, after I discovered that he's talking to a woman over seas i don't think I even have a chance for anything more than a friend because this woman continues to call him. He never answers her calls when we are spending time together and he never really talks about her. How do i know what to do in this situation and how to i know if he's interested in the possibility of "us"? Am i doing something wrong by spending time with him if he's really interested in this other girl?

Men are not just about masculinity. They have billions of cells in the body and the only thing these cells need is good energy, vitamin D, and other important vitamins minerals, and chemicals. Often thoughts and emotions affect the cells as well. Some say that every cell in your body feels like there is lack of a vitamin D. These communities of billions of cells dont think every day "How I would make myself more masculine" they they just need the chemical balance and good epigenetics etc. Often thoughts and emotions affect the cells as well. So men may think more about what their body needs than what their mind and ego need. The same is about women. Sport and good mood is a good tool to maintain the balance of body and immunity. A positive mood increases the immunity. So if a man is listening to soft music or reading poetry it may positively affect the body. But it doesn't affect their masculinity.....otherwise, if it would affect their masculinity they would not seek the feminine energy of women and mothers and aunts and neighbors.

Love this video

You’re a special guy the guy I’m. Interested in I’d not authentically vulnerable with

It lingers!!!!! It lingers!!!!!😂😂😂

Shouldn't it be more about what you give in a relationship than what you want? And why would anybody feel that they MUST earn somebody"s love? Love is more than constant manipulation to earn love in return .

I love listening to you guys!

Yes I agree as far as this toxic positivity is thinking that and hoping that he's going to change is not good you talk to him you tell him how he's making you feel and how it makes you feel sad and unhappy and if he doesn't change his behavior then you need to say arrivederci

Actually it was Socrates who said "I am wise for I know that I know not." We will better relationships, when we have better singles, which comes from growth, HUMILITY and working on addictions, traumas, etc. Too much "smart" too little wise. Yes, humility. All about humility. Narcissists (or "those with those tendencies or streaks) don't choose this.

"Toxic positive outlook" is the most toxic phrase I've ever heard. 😢

what about a fairly "normal" woman who is with a man with BPD? that's a whole different ball game

16:40 we are always having different views and he never takes mine seriously he always says it's bullshit 🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe it is? 😂

❤❤❤

“Toxic Positivity” is my new favorite phrase.

What if it's not toxic positivity, but turning on or activating a parasympathetic nervous system so the body will not downregulate the genes, downregulate the immune system by and increasing the stress hormones that create diseases. Create the peace inside body chemistry aneurology and epigenetics But to some people, it may just appear to be toxic positive. maybe a good tool to activate parasympathetic system is doing sports, going for a walk and stop analyzing the problems. Some said great idea that often some problems solve by themselves... the more we try to solve them the less its solved.

😊

You need to give an example

But what means this situacion? : When man says "I love you much" for the 1 woman and in the same time for other woman say or writes messages " I miss you and you always in my heart and in my mind". I know it is sounds not normal this situacion,but what it can mean? Who he really loves and planing future with her and why he miss other woman? Situacion: woman which he loves ( how he says) ,this woman absolut doesnt know that this man has woman which he miss. And woman which he miss,she knows that he has woman which he loves. So which woman really is in this man heart? Can somebody answer to this question corectly? Because here desperate need good corect answer. Thanks❤

In regards to know-it-alls (a huge turnoff!), I think most women have encountered a man who is extremely confident in his opinion or whatever he's talking about, yet is 100% wrong. Wrong, wrong. We just laugh to ourselves and move on. And yes, women can be know-it-alls too, absolutely.

I was happy homemaker, Stay At Home Wife and Mother in d 2000s, @ least most of the time & did worked p/t sometimes He wasn't, didn't like the idea,too much. That's why after 10 years, I left, with the kids. I'm glad. Only it should have been earlier. 👍

You guys are astronomically far behind Jimmy 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

suggest you improve background in the house

It just ain’t worth it for me!!!!!

I’m just wondering why dating becomes so complicated these days

I think this video could have been more concise… the four things mentioned could have been rolled into one concept. It was too general and philosophical for real applications bc we all are unique in our personalities. I really prefer how Orion Taraban at Psychacks explain things so much better!

Started strong & fell off 😴

My experience is most guys just want a lot of sex and sexual favors, or resort to drugs and alcohol, unfortunately thats what i always ended up with 😢 hopefully God will send me a God sent, wish me well, I'm going through it bad 😐

I often wonder why men stay with women who constantly say things to emasculate them. It's not just rude and insulting, it shows how deeply flawed her character is. That's not someone he should be with.

It was real in the 1950's because men had a responsibility to work and provide for his family. The woman stayed home and took of the home with the kids

Safe zone is the key!

I get that the male ego is very fragile, but far too often, women are asked to accommodate the man's ego way too much. At some point, the fragile ego man needs to grow up. Ultimately, both genders need to be polite, and there's a way to state a different opinion while still respecting the other person's.

This here is just so riveting…. Why it’s a bit like watching paint dry… but somehow a lot less fun hahahah…. Only kidding guys…. Or am I ? Probably… yes… perhaps… no… maybe… could be… might be… I dunno… hmmmmm No !! Thanks nonetheless to both you ‘Love Strategies’ geysers… Bye for now;)

Leave your mamas alone hahaha ❤

Toxic positivity looks like being plastic

Yawn.

see a same-sex therapist for the initial statement.

Come on you guys, you both talk too much and don't get straight to the point...What Does A.Man Want In A Women..? Only takes afew minutes to let us women know what men want..be real 😮 😮😮😮

Just an unsolicited thought here, I don't think this format is good for your channel. Too much talk. You know, of all the "dating advice" channels on KZfaq, I watch yours 95% of the time because of its conciseness. Even way back Sexy Confidence time. Don't change it. Too much talk out there that people just wants to get to the substance in so short a time as possible. Less is more works best on KZfaq. Just saying.

How boring are these men.

Guys, this advice is the complete opposite to what John Gray, the original love guru, advises!! He wrote the Mars Venus books. He does tell women to be positive, that men don’t want to hear negative stuff & he tells us to never, ever, ever criticise a man as that’ll turn him off & bring him down etc It’s hard to know who to follow or believe!😣😣