What Writers Get Wrong About Story - Jeffrey Davis and Peter Desberg

Рет қаралды 18,061

Жыл бұрын

BUY THE BOOK - PITCH LIKE HOLLYWOOD: What You Can Learn from the High-Stakes Film Industry
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BUY THE BOOK - NOW THAT'S FUNNY!: The Art and Craft of Writing Comedy - amzn.to/2xnlkYd
Peter Desberg is professor emeritus at California State University, Dominguez Hills, and recipient of the Distinguished Teaching Award and Outstanding Professor Award. He is also a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in the area of stage fright and performance anxiety. The author of 23 books, he has been quoted by such publications as The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today and The New York Times, and has consulted for companies including Apple, Boeing and Toyota in the areas of pitching and persuasion, corporate presentations, and using storytelling and humor in business presentations.
Jeffrey Davis is a professor of screenwriting at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles, and served from 2009-2019 as the department chair. Davis has also written and produced trade shows for Dick Clark Productions and counted among his advertising clients Dell Computers, Toyota of America and Honda. His has more than 30 credits to his name, including Night Court, Remington Steele, and documentaries for A&E, Discovery, and The History Channel. As a consultant, his areas have also included writing, pitching, and employing storytelling and humor in business presentations.
MORE VIDEOS WITH JEFFREY DAVIS and PETER DESBERG
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CONNECT WITH JEFFREY DAVIS
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CONNECT WITH PETER DESBERG
peterdesberg.com
www.imdb.com/name/nm3263928
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Пікірлер: 57

@filmcourage Жыл бұрын

More bad movie pitches - bit.ly/3VskEJ2

@cruxofthecookie Жыл бұрын

Peter: "A conflict is different than a problem". _Amen._

@entrepreneurialtv937 Жыл бұрын

Difference Between Conflict and Problem Entrepreneurial TV In storytelling terms, what's difference between, conflict and problem In storytelling, conflict refers to the struggle or opposing forces that drive the plot of a story. It is what creates tension and moves the story forward. Conflict can take many forms, such as character vs. character, character vs. nature, or character vs. society. A problem, on the other hand, is a specific issue or obstacle that a character faces. A problem can be a source of conflict, but it does not have to be. A character may face a problem that they are able to solve without much difficulty, or the problem may not be central to the plot of the story. To summarize, conflict is the overarching struggle that drives the plot of a story, while a problem is a specific issue or obstacle that a character may face.

@shareekwillis2799 Жыл бұрын

Word to live by. Conflict is not the same thing as a problem.

@Lilitha11 Жыл бұрын

The pickle story actually reminds me of Harold & Kumar go to white castle, which is literally just 'some guys are hungry and want to get a burger, so try to go to white castle and stuff gets in their way'. So you actually can flesh the stories out and make them a lot better than the initial pitch sounds.

@EddieCaplan 7 ай бұрын

Take a look at this description of H&K from IMDB: "A Korean-American office worker and his Indian-American stoner friend embark on a quest to satisfy their desire for White Castle burgers." This description tells us about the characters and their goal. The pickle pitch tells us neither. The pickle jar is an obstacle, but is it the goal?

@12thDecember Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing your insights. One quibble about that Samurai fly pitch: there's no such thing as an "ex" Vietnam veteran. If you're a veteran, you're a veteran forever. There's always that one nitpicky detail in a movie or book that makes you say, "Wait. What?"

@sun018 Жыл бұрын

You guys had me burst out laughing on the deliberately bad pitch! 🤣 I really like your style and teaching, thank you and thanks for (good) scripts 🙂

@rociomiranda5684 Жыл бұрын

The Ana story actually happened at my workplace. Not in the USA, by the way. Our Ana was bullied into a nervous breakdown by two senior employees.

@AndreaClinton Жыл бұрын

That happens all too often.

@bandanadan5928 Жыл бұрын

I imagined the pickle story as a silence animated short

@hiplessboy Жыл бұрын

Oh I just love hanging out with these two dudes!

@homeirasoufi7565 Жыл бұрын

Very helpful , As always I enjoy and learned a lot.

@filmcourage Жыл бұрын

Cheers!

@DominickvdHoff Жыл бұрын

The one that goes back in time sounds kinda cool, even if there are no direct connections you might catch a through-line or a theme

@lorenzo3507 Жыл бұрын

¡Feliz navidad al mejor canal de storytelling! 👏👏👏👏

@sun018 Жыл бұрын

Ps wish these guys did more video's, really enjoyable and great teaching thank you 🙂🎄

@filmcourage Жыл бұрын

Here are our previous videos with Jeffrey and Peter - bit.ly/3WHzso8

@sun018 Жыл бұрын

@@filmcourage Thank you so much bless you 😇🎄❣

@yasumotonoboru Жыл бұрын

Jeffrey Davis being so intrigued by "getting superpowers from a fly" clearly shows that he has never heard of Spiderman.

@muheburrahmanshaha37 Жыл бұрын

I won't lie, I would go and see "Samurai Fly" hahahah.

@recoveringintrovert717 Жыл бұрын

Very much the same vibe as Cocaine Bear

@scottbowers9061 Жыл бұрын

Now I know where my blue specs went! Great episode as always.

@andressantamaria2987 Жыл бұрын

Thank you as always for the amazing content!

@filmcourage Жыл бұрын

Glad you enjoy it!

@user-vw6xp5nl6t Жыл бұрын

I’m in love with the jelly jar girl

@Ruylopez778 Жыл бұрын

We need to make it a non-linear vignette, culminating in the vet samurai fly opening the pickle jar. Working title; PULP PICKLE.

@dreamcatcher5502 Жыл бұрын

One word shoots all this down... SEINFELD !!! 😂

@MichaelChin1994 10 ай бұрын

How so?

@SDW90808 Жыл бұрын

These guys are great.

@mohanedmohamed6738 Жыл бұрын

the jar pitch needs more but it can work i guess. lets say that instead of a guy who can't open a jar a big store holds a jar competition and there is a jar that the one who opens it wins "like arthur and Excalibur" and we get to know through a flashback why the competitors are there and why each one of them needs the win and how some of them interact with each other in the competition. it might work and it might not work but lets try to give the idea a chance no matter how weird the idea is.

@kb2vca Жыл бұрын

Great point - but that was their implied critique - there was no story. Your set up IS the basis for a story - and perhaps , then, the stakes are much higher than a character simply wanting to open a jar...

@mohanedmohamed6738 Жыл бұрын

@@kb2vca i agree with you completely and their critique is absolutely right..... all i am saying is they need to give an example because all of us are still knew to this. so by giving an example it will be easier to digest and more understandable "atleast for me". but i do agree with you and with them. also i wrote this as an exercise.

@recoveringintrovert717 Жыл бұрын

I more conceptualized that the jar of pickles represents some emotion he's repressing, and each person he comes across teaches him something about what he needs to learn to open up to people. Then he gets to the girl, who is also struggling with the jam. He reiterates his lessons to her, and she gives him the final piece that opens both their jars. Then they can both go home, but they choose to sit down and watch a movie together instead, having learned to open up to people. The end

@mohanedmohamed6738 Жыл бұрын

@@recoveringintrovert717 yeah that also can work .... that's what i am really asking for what can we do with an idea that is still in the early concept stage not just there is no conflict ..... it there is no conflict lets try and find one. lets embrace the weirdness.

@recoveringintrovert717 Жыл бұрын

@@mohanedmohamed6738 exactly :) I love weird stories

@filmcourage Жыл бұрын

Which of these 3 pitches did you enjoy the most?

@joemorgenstern9846 Жыл бұрын

All three because they highlighted fundamentals of a good story.

@PerpetualBass Жыл бұрын

I liked Peter

@dreamcatcher5502 Жыл бұрын

I feel like I'm really missing out by not knowing about the Apple watch story. Can someone share a link ? 😁

@TheHerakin 3 ай бұрын

Will my book jbe rejected because the first chapter (1900 words) is a flash back (in media res)? How can I be sure of this? Thank you

@kb2vca 8 ай бұрын

Interestingly, and this was not anything made explicit, the story that Jeffrey Davis told that showed him the difference between an "incident" and a story: The king Died. The queen died AND The King died. The queen died of grief. In my opinion, it's not so much the simple inclusion of grief being introduced, but the implied idea that the queen's death was CAUSED by the king's death. THAT is the essence of a story: every element is caused by actors' actions and the viewer/reader and the protagonist needs to be aware of actions and their consequences so that they can respond to them or pre-empt them. Events that merely follow in time are episodes. Episodes are not stories.Events that occur because of - and which then have an impact on the protagonist are what make the story.

@trinelangohr6661 Жыл бұрын

Hm, the "jar of pickles" might not carry a movie, but it could make a nice music video.

@BionicDance Жыл бұрын

"Alara, you wanna open this jar of pickles for me?"

@thomaswolf6645 Жыл бұрын

These guys have no vision. They praise TV for taking risks and then bail on that last script, which was kick ass.

@andressantamaria2987 Жыл бұрын

what's kick ass about it?

@ArgaAditya Жыл бұрын

Couldn't agree more. Even the jar man and jar lady is really awesome idea for short comedy, or even feature film.

@wexwuthor1776 Жыл бұрын

Merry Christmas Film Courage!

@filmcourage Жыл бұрын

Merry Christmas!

@WanderingWeirdly Жыл бұрын

5:00 Maybe, much like a fly, he now has about 24 hours to live and use his newfound powers, which puts a ticking clock on him achieving his goals?

@Zebred2001 Жыл бұрын

Are these really the best examples they could have come up with? These pitches are so terrible that no comment is necessary. So bad that some Hollywood hack producer will probably green light them!

@shaccooper Жыл бұрын

You get superpowers from a fly “Peter?”

@grantgreyguda 10 ай бұрын

👍 👍

@AndreaClinton Жыл бұрын

That was too much on the main character (MC). You dont wanna make your audience work & you dont wanna ask too much of your audience. If he a cop who gained super powers from a fly, great. Now he can stop the bad guys without working so hard. If he's a Vietnam vet who became a cop, he's already a hero, does he need those powers? What if he's a cop who was a Vietnam vet bit we dont know except that there's a picture on his mantle? That can fly (play on words). But if we want to show all this, where is the story?