What Your Ex Says vs What They Really Mean

Рет қаралды 28,543

3 жыл бұрын

Clay Andrews talks about What Your Ex Says vs What They Really Mean.
In this episode, Clay Andrews shared 5 THINGS THAT YOUR EX SAYS, what they really mean and how you can deal with them effectively.
When people are high on their emotions, we struggle a little with expressing ourselves. Your ex might be going through the same thing too. When they are trying to break up with us or or when they are trying to justify their decision, they say some of these things that may or may not sense to us. We hope that by watching this video, you'll get more clarity on what they are trying to tell you and hopefully make your reactions and responses better.
On this video, Clay Andrews spoke about:
- I am not attracted to you anymore
- Let's just be friends
- I love you but I am not in love with you
- It's not you, it's me
- We will never get back together
**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices.

Пікірлер: 80

@Mfor1998 11 ай бұрын

Actions > Words. Always remember this, folks.

@lilly3969 2 жыл бұрын

Watching these videos has sparked my interest in become a marraige/couples counselor. I've been wanting to do something in the therapy field and this is just so great knowing the effect you have on people's relationships and lives directly. Thank you, Clay!

@ClayAndrews 2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome, Lilly. :-)

@chilloften 3 жыл бұрын

I always enjoy watching Clay and feel comforted.

@assplundah Жыл бұрын

All good information IF you’re dealing with someone who is emotionally mature. If they ghost you after 4 years together, they are not emotionally mature & there is nothing that can be done.

@getfedministries6399 3 жыл бұрын

My ex says, "No romance, no kissing." Then my ex says "No rules, no regulations"?? um NO kissing is a Rule and Regulation. My ex still thinks I'm very attractive .

@nathantorres6149 2 жыл бұрын

1) “ I’m not attractive to you anymore “

@neressakotas4396 Жыл бұрын

The only why I can be friends with him if I had no feeling for him

@chilloften 3 жыл бұрын

What was this man studying, it’s so extremely. TFS Clay. 🌹🔥

@getfedministries6399 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks Clay!

@chatzamora9670 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for another amazing video clay more power ❤️ just wanna ask How about if my ex said 'I really like talking to you glad will still friends 😭💔🙄🤣

@ellien875 Жыл бұрын

That’s alittle funny. I’ve told my ex ‘let’s just be friends’ because he crossed my boundaries and now I have to make him just a friend. My standard is he can’t have access to me until he’s earned it. I’m still highly attracted to him and I want to be with him, but I have too much self respect to accept his bad behavior. So the best option is to be friends, even though I don’t want to

@Jakuboooooooooo Жыл бұрын

So why not communicate that to him?

@chilloften 3 жыл бұрын

My ex comforts me on ALL levels of my insecurities yet I need dig deeper and feel an understanding, a comprehension, because it just feels like a denial of my observations. And basically he devalued me in the end on some things and it hurts. I have repaired the main one, yet it remains a fear of more to come. Besides all of that, we are long distance now. But he contacts me monthly, at least, yet never mentions togetherness. He had been dating as well, but also, “nothing serious”. Two times ago we spoke, he is not dating. One time ago ask me if I’m dating. I said yes. Amyway...I love him, and want to get back to him. But also, I play as if all is well, I’ll be ok, cause I will. But we should be together why not.

@biancavulc5131 3 жыл бұрын

He said "I simply don't want it anymore. You made too many mistakes" ... what does it mean..? And also replied to my 'I love you' with "I know." .... what do these things mean??

@rebeccs1024 3 жыл бұрын

Kinda in the same boat but we had slept together the day before. AND he wants to be friends. MEN! I swear! Ugh! LoL

@kyoung5151 3 жыл бұрын

That’s how my ex is with me. But then she would sometime but rarely will say “ I love you “ but then back to “ I know” It’s so frustrating.

@janetrangi8534 3 жыл бұрын

I love the story about your divorced parents still having a grudge I enjoy watching I find you hilarious 😂

@katharina6523 3 жыл бұрын

What if you show them that you changed and they still dont want to go back together?

@amj338 3 жыл бұрын

Would her saying "I'm not interested in you" be the same as her saying "I'm not attracted to you anymore"? We dated for a year

@MsNiqabi Жыл бұрын

Hey clay thanks so much for your videos What should I do when my ex and got divorced after 12 yrs with 2 kids, I wanted the divorced but he really tried to save it, after we split I ended up in a rebound relationship I think that’s the major block that is stopping us from getting back together, what steps should I take from here, we’re currently in the 3rd/4th stage of getting back an ex Please help!

@Pxterz 3 жыл бұрын

I did no contact with my ex for 3 months, and she contacted me 8 times, and I replied every time. On the 8th time I asked my ex, what I meant to her in her life and she said she was hoping we could be friends, i kindly declined, but then it got more deep, where she gave me more closure, she said she never stopped loving me, and missed me more than ever, but that she still didn't want a relationship, and said if we both need to move on, that this is goodbye. I don't know if that's true or not, she said that I never contacted her or reached out to her or checked in on her, but I did when she contacted me. I genuinely do not know that to do in this situation, I feel like I ruined my chances completely and that this goodbye is actually goodbye..

@LaLaKDiaryLaLaKDiary 3 жыл бұрын

@@ryanhall9487 yo clearly your a like a human robot writing the same to every comment you should respect that other people might really look for help and awtually want to read and this is not the right place to promote yourself if not asked...

@TokioTE 3 жыл бұрын

I don't know what you should do, but don't feel bad for not contacting. They left, you respected that. Wasn't up to you to know if she wanted you to check up on her. Sounds like you did the right thing each of the 8 times. Also, she could be projecting - _she_ is the one who is feeling like she ruined her chances, but wants to make _you_ feel that way, which might make her feel better (more desired). But remember, she chose this. And she doesn't want to get back together. Not fair of her to give you an ultimatum.

@charmaineneshanathan2101 3 жыл бұрын

I'm so good n my ex came back after 5 months asking to be friends again.he texts me every day what's his intentions I'm confused

@neressakotas4396 Жыл бұрын

he don't not want any bad feelings.

@neressakotas4396 Жыл бұрын

I still love my x although I still haven't forgotten what he has done.

@williamdolan7189 10 ай бұрын

My ex says she is no longer attracted to me physically sexually or emotionally but still cares about me as a person?

@gemmahoang1162 3 жыл бұрын

Hes still attractive to me and thinks I'm hot . But he doesnt think it's a good idea to get bk together. But he still wants to flirt n other things like that.

@Crazy-hn1sr 3 жыл бұрын

I find my ex attractive and I flirt with her. I want her back but I don’t think it’s a good idea to get back together right now. Even though I’ve been the one trying to get her back. Maybe he is realizing he has a lot of his own issues that he needs to fix. For example (me) I need a lot of validation and I get jealous even though she loves me. With that being said I understand that this is what started our wedge and leading up into the negative actions we went through. So I need to learn to be okay with out her to be able to truly be happy in the relationship. I don’t want to lose her but I can’t love her the way I want until I love myself. So we are keeping the line of communication open. We are still building intimacy. A safe place well we are growing. We are not pushing for anything but for ourselves. Maybe that’s what he needs to work on but doesn’t know how to express it.

@gemmahoang1162 3 жыл бұрын

@@Crazy-hn1sr For me I was just out of a 10 year relationship b4 my last one . And I sadly put all those negative issues on to it and I just couldn't shift. So I did really hurt Craig. Hes never been in a proper relationship with girl. He claims he went out with them but just hugged n holding hands with them nothing else. But wen he went out with me I was a little more confident and he did put his arms around me and I did sleep over at his , but we only kissed and he did lose virginity with me .

@harveym3691 3 жыл бұрын

Clay you responded to my messages a month ago about my ex being in a rebound. Well she broke up with the respond 2 1/2 months in and reached out to me. She was kinda playing hard to get and said mean Terrible things like I never loved you etc.. when we meant up and keep in mind she wanted to meet up with me. she has been single for 2 weeks now and I noticed she took off her fb status of being single to nothing. And if you remember I told you she blocked me on fb and cell phone but since then I have been unblocked from everything. But now I believe she went back to her rebound relationship. Do you have any insight? Is this even heard of? Also what should I do? I hope you respond to me like you did before. Thank you

@giovannimalaluan4106 11 ай бұрын

He said the last 3 part, I don't know what to do and I don't know when to communicate again?

@yerlansatybaldinov495 3 жыл бұрын

Hi.Could you help? If my ex blocked me on watsap what is the chance of unblocking?after..?

@dnpaker84 3 жыл бұрын

My ex said we never getting back together.. So I just accept it and I’m just focus on a friendship. I see her everyday because we work together.. And we joke around and say good morning when we run in to each other.. I do believe she have a friend not sure how serious. I’m dating but can’t really move on because of my feelings for her.. But you never know what the future holds. Just friends might be better for us 🤷🏾‍♂️

@adamwilliams9487 Жыл бұрын

You got an update on this?

@DrNeubertJR 3 жыл бұрын

“I never saw us having a future together” yet, I bought a house with her… and we were looking into buying a next house since we began hating this location…

@williamdolan7189 Жыл бұрын

My ex says I have a very small chance and a part of me still loves you?

@shikhadrimahanta7193 3 жыл бұрын

Hie Clay, can you please tell me what to do when he pulls back positively and we are in long distance relationship? He isn't contacting after we had a good positive connection

@ClayAndrews 3 жыл бұрын

YOu can check on this short podcast. This may help you as well. >> www.lovetalkfm.com/lt030-why-your-ex-pulls-back-after-positive-interactions/

@fiona7388 3 жыл бұрын

He said to me he want to be alone FOREVER! 😅 He said realationship is losing of time for him and he doesn't love me anymore.

@ClayAndrews 3 жыл бұрын

Hey there, when somebody says that relationship takes most of the time for them, it usually happens because of being in a fused relationship. Where the person had lost their individuality as they have to revolve their life around the relationship itself.

@fiona7388 3 жыл бұрын

@@ClayAndrews so I should give him some time?

@mibombon11 3 жыл бұрын

Hey Clay, quick question. What do you think it means when your ex knowingly gets with someone who isn't right for them. What I mean is that they willingly get with someone who is abusing them mentally into staying together. Almost like a major step down from what we had because there was respect in what we had but now between the ex and the new person, she's told me how he acts with her by being focused on trying to "get down with her" and how it makes her feel deep down because she doesn't want to do that but its obviously mentally affecting her enough to have told me during a one on one conversation.

@ClayAndrews 3 жыл бұрын

Hi CaballeroVille, I may not be able to tell exactly why your ex stays in that type of relationship. People stay in a relationship for a reason because it suffices their own needs. Some people may not be able to leave abusive relationships for some reason. But in the end, if she really feels that the relationship is affecting her as a person, she has to make a decision to leave a relationship that isn't healthy for her. Again, we can't speak on behalf of your ex.

@Lindoronyuni 2 жыл бұрын

Dang my ex says the opposite. We know we will end up together. And we will see each other again. That more confusing to me. I’d rather them push away than to say they know we will be back together.

@kernalmasta 3 жыл бұрын

Clay, how do I show change when she asked for no contact when she left me? Its been 5 months NC and I have made many changes for myself, not for her. But how would I show her when she doesnt even want to stay in contact? 6 years together

@ClayAndrews 3 жыл бұрын

Hi Nick, change because you want to be a better person. And not just to get your ex back. Your change should be recognized not just by your ex but by all the people around you. You don't have to literally show that you have changed. Remember, your ex will go through 5 stages. She will eventually open herself up once she is emotionally ready.

@katlegokatli557 2 жыл бұрын

I asked him why he keeps texting and then goals Awol and what his greetings were intending and he blue ticked me

@DL-vibes 3 жыл бұрын

He’s hot and cold and one foot in and one foot out so honestly I am not a mind reader and it’s hard to keep up. Ugh 🤦🏽‍♀️

@mariarudblad6214 3 жыл бұрын

My ex is very rescentful and I don't know what to do. In the begining of your breakup he was always the one saying he never wanted to lose me from his life. Now almost a year later he says the opposite. The situation is very infected cause I have been texting him too much and not giving him space. How much space should I give him before I try again?so scared i lost him för good😔

@robandrews6059 3 жыл бұрын

Who initiated the break up? If it was him, then start scaling down on the texting for the next 2 months. Let him see that you are losing interest. Let a month go by without a text, he will start wondering why you wont text him any more. Let him feel that he is losing you. If that doesn't work, no contact until you feel better. Make sure you work on yourself. Lose weight, get more money, start a business or something. When you start feeling better and ready to face rejection, call or text him. Tell him that you are about to move on. Then disappear for good. If 90days goes by without a peep from him, you will know that he's not worth it.

@JOrtiz1972 3 жыл бұрын

My ex tells me she my friend but she gets mad at me if I go out with someone. It’s crazy!! We work together and she with a new guy but she always around me.

@marianneisafemolde5061 3 жыл бұрын

She's possessive and still unstable.

@neressakotas4396 Жыл бұрын

I am friends with a other x after a few years. we have a good friendship.

@neressakotas4396 Жыл бұрын

my x said he still cares about me. I am still not sure if that is the case. they behaved says other wise

@barbersmurff2592 3 жыл бұрын

Wow my ex told me she’s loves me but not in love with me and a few months after while I was in damage control her rebound text me from her phone pretending to be her saying the we will never get back together and to stop trying. We have kids together to needless to say we still needed to be in contact with one another and over time that wall of resistance fell and we have good interactions together but she’s unfortunately still in her rebound relationship sooooooo yeah we’ll see how this goes.

@danscott2059 3 жыл бұрын

Same here....She's still in her rebound, kids together, sad

@klausdentz505 3 жыл бұрын

Been a long time no contact.year at least Prayers answered recently Talked for hours for 3 days Today not available..???

@ClayAndrews 3 жыл бұрын

Hey Klaus, we have to be okay and understandable that not all the time our ex will have that same level of energy. There will be good days and days where she may seem to pull away. This is where our Advanced Relational Skills will be placed into test.

@klausdentz505 3 жыл бұрын

@@ClayAndrews so I'm independent .. but how can you help me

@Fish-nj2sj Жыл бұрын

My ex girlfriend told me this morning that she doesn't want me to hate her what does she mean

@neressakotas4396 Жыл бұрын

she didn't not want to have any bad feelings towards her

@cassiej3750 3 жыл бұрын

Hey Clay! When my ex broke up with me he said we did not need to be friends. So I went no contact. Then three months later he does the whole apology text, and says he will always be my friend. Then we go silent again, and this pattern of hearing from him every couple of months continue. What does this mean? And he is the one who reached out, I don’t. When he reaches out he will bring up good memories we had in the past, and bring up our inside jokes. Can you please help me figure it out. I have him what he wanted, which was to be gone from his life, but he checks in with me every couple months. I’m just so over the mind games.

@robandrews6059 3 жыл бұрын

He realizes that he hurt you and is afraid that you will reject him. He feels guilty too. He's trying to get a conversation going with you with the hope that it leads to a meet up. Plus you not reaching out to him isn't giving him the confidence. If you like him, you got to show him one or two signs. Once he sees the signs, he will see that it is worth the risk to pursue you some more.

@cassiej3750 3 жыл бұрын

@@robandrews6059 thank you for answering my question. Do you think this means that he might still be interested in me?

@robandrews6059 3 жыл бұрын

@@cassiej3750 Yes he is. I'm a guy and I'm kind of in the same situation. When I notice my ex is not initiating any texts, I leave her. Then I'll check in to see. If you want to be with him, you got to show some vulnerability. If you don't, then you'll hate to find out in the future that he loved you and wanted to try again.

@tintinpenaredondo6531 3 жыл бұрын

@@cassiej3750 shows some sign that you are interested in him too and have the desire to get him back. If you didn't react or not reciprocate to his jokes he will feel you think you are not enjoying or happy chatting with him. Communication and texting are like playing tennis. If he tried his best to communicate with you and you are emotionally unavailable to his jokes and chat he will think you are not interested.

@lioness6853 3 жыл бұрын

@@robandrews6059 I tried being vulnerable. He showed up 2,5 years after we broke up,keeps bringing up good memories, said "let's be friends" despite it going further than that. He says he doesn't love me anymore, but can't stay away. Keeps bringingup that I moved on when he gets in a bad mood. I'm trying to give us a new chance, but he kinda makes it harder then it has to be.