I hope everyone is having a good day so far :)

1. 5:43 Hey, Kati, happy Thursday! I’d like to know: When do therapists ever get a break? How do therapists avoid burnout from working so much? How does a therapist coordinate going on vacation? Or honeymoon? Or maternity leave? Or jury duty? How can a therapist maintain work-life balance if their clients consume so much of their time? Inquiring minds would like to know, thanks Kati! 2. 14:38 Is it normal to have episodes of extreme sadness and hopelessness before and during your period? I have considered self-harming during those times. Do you think it’s just the mood swings? OR Could it also be my body’s need to let go of all the emotions I have bottled over the month. 3. 23:02 Do I have to believe therapy will work in order to get better? I’m depressed and not super hopeful, but I am trying. I just cant imagine wanting to live. Just fyi, I started on an antidepressant and I do really like my therapist 4. 25:43 Hi, I wasn’t sure where to leave this for a request for a video on sibling emotional abuse/ bullying, especially in adult siblings - this is a very real and under looked issue by society and mental health community, in general, the that is extremely hard to find support for as it’s often misunderstood as sibling rivalry. Being subjected to emotional and or physical abusive and bullying by a sibling into adulthood has devastated effects. A sibling is expected to be someone who is there for you, at least loves you at the end of the day and doesn’t want to see bad things happen to you. I know I’m not alone in this. The lack of acknowledgement and support for this issue leaves its victims feeling isolated, alone, and discouraged. Which leads to worsened depression, anxiety, and self worth. Kati, please help it can be lifelong and the emotional abusive can be more damaging than physical. 5. 31:57 What do you recommend for someone without much of a support system aside from their therapist? For example, having no friends or anyone who really understands. 6. 38:19 Hi Kati, When do you know it’s time to switch therapist OR If the kind of help you’re getting is not enough? 7. 42:59 Hi Kati! How do you make sure what you’re saying in therapy is clear? Sometimes I don’t think that I’m doing a good job at explaining what’s really going on. Sometimes I don’t even know how to explain something that’s going on. Thanks so much! 8. 43:34 Hi Kati, how bad do body image issues have to be considered body dysmorphia? I struggle with body image issues and can’t even look at myself in the mirror or in a photo without heavily criticizing myself, sometimes I feel so bad about myself that I don’t even want to go out. Hope you’re ok, thanks. 9. 50:20 Hi Kati, I would like to ask you about trauma memories. I was sexually abused in my early teens. I understand now that I was traumatized by it, and I'm diagnosed with c-ptsd, but I still have difficulties to understand that it was really that traumatic, and my therapist thinks I'm still minimizing what happened. I think part of the reason for that is the fact that it took so long to realize what actually happened (about 17 years!!), cause that makes me feel so stupid. Another is that it's hard for me to remember how I felt at the time. Can I have repressed how I felt at the time, but not what happened? How can I recognize if my memories are shattered (like the marbles you refer to)? Are trauma memories always shattered? It's so difficult to find helpful info, cause I feel like info about sexual abuse is either about younger children or older teenagers/adults, so none of that quite captures what it was like as a 14 year who thought I knew what sex was, but really didn’t, and who was interested in kissing but NOT ready for sex. Sorry this is long. 10. 59:53 Hi Kati! I was wondering when therapists usually give a diagnosis. I realize it will probably be different for everyone, but is there an estimate? I've been seeing my therapist for almost 3 months and we’ve talked about my background and my day-to-day life, and she uses words like “depressed” or “more anxious” people like you. But has never actually given me a diagnosis. I’m wondering when would be a good time to ask for a diagnosis. 11. 1:02:35 Hi Kati! I was wondering how emotional numbness and romantic relationships interact? I numb out almost all of my emotions and was wondering if that could cause me to not be interested in dating. I think I’m afraid of dating because I feel those emotions will force me with have to force me to deal with more negative emotions and I don’t know how to process those. Where to go from here?

I learned once that asking "does that make sense?" Isn't as helpful as we think it is because the other person almost always says "yes" even if they do have more questions. Instead, it may be more helpful to ask "What other questions do you have about that?" ☺️

Kati, you saying that you yourself know how hard it can be to explain things that have happened and saying that therapists have to ask clarifying questions was kind of validating. It made me realize how much pressure I am putting on myself to always make myself clear.

Kati, can you make a video about emotion regulation, or what to do when you cant feel your emotions, or both? :)

Kati you should collab with Mama Dr Jones!!!! She’s an ObGyn on KZfaq and she is absolutely amazing!!!!

Whenever I hear about c-ptsd, I get the feeling of that I have that... and yet at the same time, I never feel as though I'm as "traumatized" as other people seem to be. I realize I probably am -- logically -- but man it's so hard to accept. Chaotic environment growing up along with all forms of abuse - although not pushed to the extremes - I realize could cause someone to have c-ptsd, but... I find it so damn hard to "allow" myself to (probably) have it. No matter how much I logically know that it's fine and maeks perfect sense.

My therapist said today that "Everybody has the right to be different", just because you exist! Isn't that amazing? If you feel like you don't belong, it's okay. You are worthy and deserving of love and acceptance even if you don't believe it yet. 💜

in the uk people under 18 wont usually be told there diagnoses but they will us words such as depressed anxiety. you only really get a diagnoses when its more complex or due to eating. although u can ask them when they use words such as "anxious" if u are experiencing anxiety. love your videos

Thanks for doing this video Kati! :) . Gentle reminder at 17:43 that not everyone who gets a period identifies as a woman, so we try to use people who menstruate as a way to be more inclusive. Hope this helps ❤️

This is my Thursday night therapy before sleeping. Right on time. Thank you so much! Thank you for suggesting Clue.

You're so right Kati, family doesn't get a free pass. I don't care how many times they say 'but I love you man' just to manipulate me. My siblings are the types that would grab my ankles and try to pull me back into the pit with them. So I waited till they were not looking and moved halfway across the country. They're still in that pit wallowing around but I did accomplish some things in the 15 years since then that I probably wouldn't if I was still back there with them trying to sabotage me. I sure wouldn't have them as friends. You can choose your family, just go find better people and make them your family.

I have therapy every Wednesday, and Thursdays I reflect and this podcast really helps! I can't wait to read the new book whenever its finished. Thanks Kati!

I am having a hard time at the moment. Your video helped me relaxing. Thanks ♡

Getting connected: For me, my saving grace was joining running groups. I kind of just started showing up. My friend who doesn't run gets her support through her board game parties.

Thank you so much for answering my question, it was really helpful for me, and I will definitely buy your book when it comes out! Understanding the trauma and believing in it, even if I can't remember everything, is key for me, cause that's what started to reduce the intense self hate that had me in a choke hold for those 17+ years. I'm scared of finding out the trauma wasn't real after all, cause the self hating voice would feed off that like crazy, and I'm still terrified of that voice. But your answer took me one big step closer to feeling safe. Thank you so much for that, and thank you so much for what you do, you make such a huge impact on so many lives! I love all your videos! ❤️

Thank you for the PMDD comment, it's really helpful! Also, I'm really interested in your hormone series because that's something I've been struggling with lately. ❤️

5:14 - I agree. Quite a lot of us are hellbent on being right.

Thank you for everything. Shout out from the U.K. :) You are a living legend, these videos are so interesting and helpful xx

I keep going back to this episode from time to time, to re-watch your reply to my question. It's like things become clear for me, but then at times that clarity lessen or disappears and I have to hear/read/watch things again to find back to it. Therefore it's so great to have this video to come back to! Thank you again for everything you do, you're awsome! ❤️

I hope your hormone series will tackle the menopause as well..

Oh gosh thank you. I personally can't really cope with the commitment of having more than one actually close friend, it just gets too much for me because I need a lot of space. And online groups can be great for people like me who like to just do their own thing and see who tags by to find others to connect with.

Been listening and hearing all the important answers I can very much relate to question 5 with not having any friends or anyone who properly understands you and what you go though I have no help or therapy right now not sence before the corona virus my new treatment was cancelled sadly forgot about over the virus I currently am not having any online therapy as feel uncomfortable about it like video chat or phone calls trigger my anxiety I am open to joining a good health online group where I can hopefully feel comfortable and be able to share things with other people who will not judge me or dis respect me its important for everyone to have people who will support and care love this podcast this week kati sending love

Question 2 - PMDD!! Please tell me you're going over that more in depth in the hormone series!! 💜 Your video on it helped me get more active in researching this, even after tracking my cycle and mood for years before.

Not all women have periods and not everybody that has periods is woman, there's trans people I also make these mistakes while talking, the best thing is to correct each other! Loved the video, it's very helpful and informative, thanks!

I work in a similar field and your points on burnout and careful management of the focus with ourselves is very relevant to me at the mo. Throughout this period I have been keeping going but now feel at a complete loss with my former areas of my personal life. Pulling back in managed ways is what I need to happen.

This was so helpful! I always thought what my sister did was normal sibling rivalry. It's so relieving to hear professionals say it's not okay for siblings to hit each other.

Hi. My KZfaq account is going to be disabled by the time you ask for questions next week, so I just figured maybe you’d be able to read my question in these comments. I’m thirteen and confused. After a bunch of google research, I realized that I’ve been dissociating and that I might have derealization and depersonalization disorder. I watched your video for grounding techniques and other videos too but nothing works. It’s hard to tell reality and my thoughts apart. It’s been going on for almost a year now and I honestly don’t know what to do. I love what you do and thank you for giving out advice for free.

For sibling abuse- Psych2go and Dr. Ramani have really good videos on toxic family dynamics

Answers for questions 4, 5, 9. Just what I needed to hear. Thanks again, Kati. I consider you, your videos, and the community here as my support group too.

Yay! So excited to listen Kati!

Kati, i would love to see you as a guest on Self Helpless Podcast (3 wonderful female comedians who focus on self improvement). I think you would gain some die hard fans

Can you do a video on all the mental health implications of being an entrepreneur/creative person trying to make a living with your passions? And maybe help us unsuccessful ones learn to love ourselves anyway?

Wow I’m so glad you have this podcast, your helping so many people, thanks for the attention to variety of topics such as ppd and sibling abuse that aren’t often discussed and they’re very important thanks again Kati

Yes!!! Eagerly awaiting the hormone series. If possible, please include information related to Pure O OCD.

Thank you for all these videos Kati! I have only recently started watching them, but the few that I’ve seen are helpful and very relatable. Thank you!

Hi Katie! I love your channel and thank you for doing what you do. I have a question. I have either had people do this to me, or seen it done to others. Some people seem to think that what a person with depression needs is a "swift kick in the pants". And they give "tough love" to people who are down. This personally makes me angry. Especially when its being done to someone in response to them getting help. This has never been helpful to me and I have never heard of it being helpful to anyone else. Is there a time when this would be helpful to someone? What do you think?

I love your shirt, Kati! Very "Seahawks" colors, ha ha ha!

This week’s questions are really resonating with me!! Q: 5,6,7, and 8!!! 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

GOD bless you Kati your amazing speaker and down to eath.

Hey Kati, I was wondering what you thought about how some psychiatrists are trying to get BPD (borderline personality disorder) out of the personality disorder category and move it to be considered equal to bipolar and schizophrenia?? Thanks for everything you do, your videos to help me to get the diagnosis of bpd.

Kati, I’m looking forward your hormone series. Will it include transgender and non-binary perspectives too?

17 necklaces in a tangle!!! 😳😱😳😱 my worst nightmare!!!

Sometimes the boundaries therapists set are not flexible enough and all clients get treated as BPDs whereas there are many who would benefit from less rigid boundaries.

I’ve watched your older videos about becoming a counselor and I wonder if you can provide additional guidance about what you wish you would have known about selecting a school? I know you went from Pepperdine to Pepperdine (go Waves!) but any guidance you can provide on finding the right school for a masters program would be amazing. (Also, I’m leaving the corporate world after ten years and going back to school to pursue my passion of helping people through counseling! It’s scary but so exciting!)

cant wait for kati's book to launch 🤗

The body Dysmorphia question kinda made me sad - because I remember one of the criteria is something like you obsess over a “perceived” flaw, and because I obsess over a very real flaw, I never have any diagnosis. 😔 Also - I wouldn’t know because I’m way too scared to ask my therapist my diagnosis - I’ve been going for 3 years and still don’t know!!! I feel like she must be keeping it from me for a reason...

you liked my analogy on c-PTSD...I kind of want to draw/illustrate it on paper

Thanks! Very interesting episode. For me the most catchy information was about C-PTSD and emotional numbness. I'm more like suppressing emotions, that's not good.

As an adult, my brother asked me why I can't just be normal.

I think I have PMDD but it’s so hard because I have PCOS and my periods hit every 2-6 months. It always surprises me. I’ll have maybe 2 days where I just absolutely want to die and I get so disappointed that my mental health is “bad” again and then my period will start and I’m like “ohhhhh”

Kati I love you so so much 💜 you are literally the best, and as always you are on fire 🔥

Absolutely love this, thank you 💕🥰

if the amygdala is responsible for emotions, does it mean, that the activity of the amygdala is decreased or changed, when you feel emotionally numb?

The best ever! Thank you 🙏

I also had to take a break from all social media a little over a week ago now, deactivated Facebook, Instagram everything apart from KZfaq because I can completely control what I view. All the negativity in the world right now weighs me down, it's like it makes my heart hurt and I don't even watch the news right now either (haven't for months) for the same reason. Someone tries to talk to me about it and I just have to say sorry but I'm not comfortable talking about that right now and move onto something else

My sibling used to make fun of my weight and facial features.

Recommend videos on emotional/ verbal abuse?

Online support might be better than nothing but as someone who has spent the last 12 year socializing almost exclusively online... the need built up. I need real humans in my life. Eyes to look directly into. Someone to cook for. Someone to go out with, physically. Hugs. High fives, Car trips together. Real human interaction. An entire life spent behind a screen, even with people to talk to is freakin sad!

Love you, Kati! Your contenet has been suvh a help

"no I'm gonna push through and I'm gonna like it" 😅

My therapist seemed to dislike diagnoses and never mentioned one (wheter she gave me one or not), which is fine to me

Hello every one here in the comments being friendly and just trying to reach out to people anyone who reply s be nice things are tough going through anxiety and depression and anger issues alone when your alone no friends to help. Also everyone still in lockdown or quarantine in other countries going through struggling stay strong 🙂

hi katie! i love your videos, they're very informative and insightful. One thing I'd like to point out is that you blatantly mentioned women are the only people who have periods which is entirely false. I know you have expressed support for the trans community in the past and i just want to express that this is a topic you may want to be more mindful of as it could affect others watching ! I would hate for someone to be hurt or discouraged from watching your very important and helpful videos because of this mistake

I was really looking forward to this for the answer on the question I wrote. But I'll assume it was really hard to understand. I myself don't understand it either. I'm frightened P.s: I like your shirt, so relaxing. 💚

Hey kati, I was wondering if it is normal to kind of look forward to having therapy each week as it’s sort of a relief. I’m worried as I don’t want to get to attached to having it/relying on it.

Ok I must ask, are all these cute outfits dresses? Bc I love and want!

Lookin foreword to your book

Hi ! I am new to this channel, I don’t understand, where can you post a question for a future video if you have one ? Right here in the comments ? Thanks 😊

Hi, I have a dilemma to solve, so maybe someone here will be abble to help me.. I have my last school exams during this week (3) till the end of this month (another 2), but just feel that I'm mentally unable to do it now. Does anyone struggles with it? or has any tips? I already have a therapist, and working on a lot of stuff... But even she said that it's too much for me now. What should I do? Sorry for my English..

I love your channel so much. Thanks to you so many people are inspired daily. Please keep up the good work. I made a channel and I plan to use it for mental health awareness . Guys please show love ❤️

I think its interesting how the people who see a psychotherapist in USA are called patients. In New Zealand they are referred to or clients. I think clients is better. I guess its just a choice.

Looks very interesting yet!

Im sorry but I just love the j bomb😂....I know its not the exact same but especially in my phone notes, theres some lovely little rants & mental math going on in there 🙈😝

As an online support for trauma/ptsd, hope4recovery.com has been so good for me. They are a Christian organization, but you do not have to be Christian to join and they do not push Christianity on you in any way. It has been a very safe place for support from groups, to classes, to one on one support between your own therapy sessions. The person who started it is passionate about survivors not feeling like they have to go through the trauma work by themselves. My group is awesome and I look forward to going most times ;-)

When is your book about trauma coming out?

Happy Thursday!!!! Kati how are you ssoooo fucking beautiful!!!! I love that color on you!! Thanks for the amazing podcast!!❤️

One air conditioning haha .. I dont even have one lol😂😂😂

So I try to stay away from anything diagnosis do to malicious lawsuit discrediting religious discrimination tactics

Sibling emotional abuse originates from a dysfunctional family. Wow! I didn't know there was a name for this.

Why aren't my questions ever selected. :( :( :(

Wanted to give a reminder about trans/non-binary inclusive language when talking about menstruation/hormone cycles!!

Can someone please tell me where Kati's top is from??? It's soo pretty 😍

My therapist keeps dodging my question and deflects when I ask about my diagnosis. Its fucking annoying. I liked my therapist before her but she got pregnant and left /:

Did you know you were going to grow to be Frasier Crane?

Finally! 1:01:45 it's not just me... who knows you better than you? nobody 1:04:10 you might not even know yourself plus that thing when therapist sees something in you what you don't see i was waiting for this... 3... 2... 1... 🤯 nonsense! lies everywhere! 🤬 um... i'm sorry

I thought that therapists couldnt diagnose. I thought you had to go to a doctor or a psychiatrist.

Hey kati. Great episode, just to point out that not everyone with periods identify as women. Trans men can have periods so please keep that in mind when talking about periods to make sure you’re being inclusive! Thanks :)