"Someone who drowns in 7 feet of water is just as dead as someone who drowns in 20 feet of water. Stop comparing traumas, stop belittling yours or anyone else’s traumas just because it wasn’t 'as bad' as someone else’s. This isn’t a competition. We all deserve support & recovery." ~caseyyrose

My uncle once told me, when I was upset at myself for being depressed when I have such a good life, "The world is fundamentally unfair, and the only justice is that everyone feels sadness." I don't think anything has ever changed my thinking so swiftly and completely

"I understood how a man who has nothing left in the world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved" Viktor was gifted 💘

Just compare the opposite. Tell the person to remember their happiest moment. Then tell them they're not allowed to feel happy about that because someone somewhere was way happier once. It's bullshit.

The "someone always has it worse" thing really hits, because one of my friends is like that. No matter what someone else is going through, she completely ignores their feelings and starts talking about herself and how that exact thing is happening to her, but soooo much worse

My mind went musing over the nice analogy, the wisdom, then stumbled on the oxymoron of 'absolutely relative'.

One of the worst, saddest, most disabling things you can believe is that because someone else's suffering is "worse", yours doesn't matter.

I heard this recently: telling someone not to be sad because it could be worse is like telling someone not to be happy because it could be better.

I have been severely ill for most of my life and so often when friends are talking to me about their own suffering they say “sorry I know it’s nothing compared to what you are dealing with” and every time I say exactly this! Pain is relative, your worst day and my worst day are both crummy awful days regardless of circumstance and we both deserve support and comfort!!!

I also like the analogy about a man drowning in an ocean and in a pool. Pool is much smaller than am ocean, yet both are drowned

It's sad that a lot of people think they're overreacting or being told that they're overreacting because "someone has it worse". Remember, what hurts, hurts. No matter big or small.

Telling someone they shouldn't be sad cos people have it worse is like saying they shouldn't be happy cos there are happier people out there

In a simpler way : No matter whether you are sinking 5 or 10 meters under the surface, you are still sinking

Was I the only one that expected a second part that would mention, when not letting the gas out the pressure will build and eventually either explode or implode the entire soul?

The worst thing that’s ever happened to you is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. Meaning your worst thing might not seem as bad as someone’s else’s worse thing but they both feel the same to both people because it’s the worst thing both have experienced.

Let’s not forget that Frankl quoted the incredible Dostoevsky’s “There is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my suffering”

i always say “whether you’re in 5 feet or water of 5,000 you are still drowning” i don’t know where this is from but i love it

I love how some quotes just leave you speechless because they just describe perfectly what you always felt but never had the words for

I needed this today. I've been bottling up my grief...my dad died at the end of this month 8 years ago. Because it's that time of year it's been on my mind so much and I feel so down. Im desperate to tell my partner how I'm feeling but I just can't get the words out. I feel like he won't understand as he hasn't lost anyone that close to him. Ive been bottling it up so much that when I went to visit my mum today I burst out into tears. I don't understand how the words can be on the tip of my tongue but won't come out. I've tried dropping hints about why I feel sad but he's not picking up on them. Im pregnant and it's hurting me so much that my dad will never meet his grandson. I just wish I could talk to my partner about how I'm feeling

My rebuttal to that is "Someone's always got it better so stop being happy"

When he said ‘and it goes like this’ I kinda thought he would break out into song.

“However you see the world, know this. People aren’t their true selves all the time. They wear a mask of a personality, either out of fear or because they want to make it seem like they are kind but in reality, they are horrible. Observe the way someone acts and you’ll see”

Something that helps me make that pain a bit smaller is going outside and just looking at the clouds - reminds you that there’s a bigger world out there than just what you’re dealing with🙂

You had all the facial expressions of a youth pastor sermon. It was beautiful

this book is so fantastic. i read it when i was 16, think i’m due for a re read. frenkel had such an incredibly valuable perspective and profound way of putting it to words.

I remember in By What Authority by Robert Hugh Benson when he talks about how the pain a little girl feels when her doll breaks can be just as relevant or equal as a soldier who has a war wound.

I remember highlighting this line when I read that book and I often think back on it. Everyone’s suffering is valid!

If you drowned in a pool or drowned in the ocean, you still drowned. 💙

I read this book in an American High School English class and it utterly changed me. I had just recently experienced the onset of chronic health issues and was grappling with how to acknowledge my struggle in light of all the suffering in the world.

Maximum suffering is always maximum to the person feeling it, and relative only to the persons own experiences. Breaking your favourite toy can bring your pain to the max as a child, a heart brake as a teenager, and the death of a family member as an adult. Pain is pain is pain, but it’s never really compareable with the pain of other people feel.

Zadie Smith also spoke about human suffering in her collection of reflections during the pandemic, “Intimations.” She drew a similar conclusion phrased differently: “Suffering is absolute [to the person going through it].”

This really hit me... hard... stuck in a bad space..

That's a good quote. I try to keep that kind of stuff in mind when I think about the nature of suffering and how it is all subjective and relative. Everyone has been traumatized and has had the worst thing happen to them. No one can compare someone else's pain with anyone else.

I took it negatively. It's like saying, pain is subjective and you find it all consuming because you don't know how to cope. I wish my perception wasn't so negative, every day life is hard for me.

As a German I don't think I should use this quote....

these moments are why i love books ♥️

already tearing up before you even read it

Sadness isn't a competition but also no one is obligated halt their own life to support you, no one should be your free therapist especially if they're not trained to be. I've had a friend unload negativity on me for a year, phone calls and whining almost every day and it started to affect me negatively but I felt guilty for not being "supportive", I finally just had to be honest with them and told them to get professional help. If you can't swim, don't be a lifeguard, no matter how many feet someone is drowning.

She's controversial now but I remember Tati said it best: If you've broken your arm but you're sat next to someone in a bodycast, it doesn't mean your arm isn't broken or that you're not in pain. Pain is pain. Suffering is suffering.

All the quotes in the comments are really beautiful because my mom just told me that I shouldn’t suffer because what about her or that my life is wonderful so what should I feel sad about. She also said that you’re happy now right? But it doesn’t change the fact that I am severely depressed

I needed to hear this👏👏

"Every heart is entitled to its own sorrow. For it has no form of measure, and all of it...irreplaceable."

Thank you.

The concentration of said gas would obviously be different though. All these analogies are quite silly. But it is true that one's suffering is closer to themselves then others'. Hence it is biggest for them personally.

This reminds me of a verse from the Quran, ‘God does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear. [2:286]’ (approximate English translation). Everyone has troubles- in our eyes somebody else’s troubles may be more or less than our own- but based on their capacity- they are struggling the same as we are. Not to say that undermines anyone’s struggling- but rather it makes you appreciate an individuals strength. Let’s do what we can to be understanding and tolerant of eachother.

My Dr told me to read this once. I went to the local library, they had to go out back to retrieve it. I read a book that was falling apart it had been read so many times and it utterly changed how I felt about the world.

Thank you for sharing! Such a great passage. 🌻

omg i wasn’t expecting this to be the analogy you were going to read! my therapist told me this one a while ago and i’ve been repeating it to EVERYONE since. i love this one sm tysm for sharing it!!!

i had to write a speech on optimism for school and i actually addressed this problem

The analogy is perfect, it will surely stick with me. Thank you for sharing, Jack!

i can relate to this so much! thank you for sharing it

Also, I feel like dealing with grief and suffering can also be understood with this quote. One does not forget the sadness or suffering one just grows and become a larger chamber. The gas is still there but the concentration is less. It is not as overwhelming and our capacity to handle it has increased.

We shouldn’t compare cuz that’s insensitive but suffering isn’t always subjective. Burn victims compared to My car got towed.

Thank you for this, Jack

This is one of my favourite books

One of my all time favourite books. This book is a staple for every bedside table.

"There are two sure ways to ruin a friendship: one is to borrow, the other to lend." - Patrick Rothfuss, _The Name of the Wind_ This quote is so true. For everyone who says something different.... they are wrong. (Probably not the exact words)

Aww!! Loved this!!

Thank you for sharing that Jack. I really appreciate. I hope you have a wonderful❤ keep up the incredible work. Love ya🫶🏽

This book is worth reading. It is brilliant.

wooow this is exactly how i’ve been feeling but i didn’t know how to make sense of it

I need you to read the book they studied in young royals s2

When I tell you that this book changed my life - I think it may be an understatement.

thank u bestie rlly needed this today actually 💙

omg! that's such a great way to explain human suffering. it felt so comforting to hear! thank you jack!

you're right. that is perfect.

I really needed this Jack. Thank you so much for being the awesome bookworm that you are

That is an amazing quote and very helpful to remember.

I'm that kind of person 😕.. So thanx for sharing

Enlightening quote. People who belittle others because others have it worse are in dire need to hear this one

Thanks bro, the size doesn’t matter 💯

As someone who struggles with this and loves chemistry, this was an absolutely perfect analogy for me. Really thank you so much ☺️

I do this to myself so this is very lovely to hear

When I saw what book you had I knew what quote it would be, such a good one.

Such a beautiful book ❤

Thank you so much

thanks for sharing..

I needed this! ❤❤❤❤

Thanks For the quote Jack!

I have been through a lot health-wise and a friend excused herself for complaining about a headache. I said: to you the headache is the most pain you have felt in a while so to you it is bad. Pain is always relative. For me who endures what feels like bonecrushing pain everyday a headache just settles in with the rest of the pain. 😏

Such a good book.

You, you great great human being, the fact that I've found a guy who reads, and then SHARES what he reads, ah, ur awesome.

Profoundly Interesting

I love this book so much, it honestly changed my life

Thanks for sharing 🙏

Thank you so much for posting this. I found it quite randomly tonight and it was much needed.... and is greatly appreciated.... and you have very cool hair ;) K. x

WAIT ISNT THAT A BOOK HARRY SUGGESTED JSKSIWKSIEIE 💚💚💚

Thx. Really needed to hear that.

summed it UP

idk why but watching ur videos is therapeutic

That’s such a brilliant quote!!

I really needed that. Thank you!

Highlight of my day. Thanks jack 💕

Needed this so much, thanks a lot ❤️

i would love to see more of these!

not sure if this is something you've already done, but if not, you should voice audio books! you have a beautiful voice!

I needed this / needed to share this with someone today

what a quote

Wow what a darkly ironic metaphor for him to use

Love this. Thank you