This talk is : takes your 20's seriously because there is consequences if you don't grow up. Yep, life isn't a big party were you can try everything your entire life.

Good lord thank you, I thought I was the only one.

@@bertimus7031 Probably a black woman.

@@Koozomec lol actually it is a big party. as long as you have things in order for yourself, there are literally no other expectations for yourself besides the ones you make. no one is required to get married, have kids, or sign up for a bunch of useless responsibilities to be an "adult". then we ask ourselves why everyone is so miserable and hates their lives even though they are doing all the right things they're "supposed" to do.

@@Sm-ig4rn That's maybe a consequence of making life an addition of events rather making your own purpouses and try to fullfil them. Happiness is an emotional state, not a goal. I wish you the best.

same

Did u get married before 30??

@@harshalgawai746 haha why? Is that important?

She is a 'sheng nu'

@Max you are right. We should also not consider any man under 6'3" that doesn't make a six figure income and have a six pack. Anything less than this is a boy ,not man . ( and a worthles loser)

Sounds like our internet dad's advise Jordan Peterson👍

That's JBP alright

You won't even credit Dr Peterson? Low dude.

The second one is the best.

Jordan Peterson - 12 rules for life, rule 4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who someone else is today

Exactly. Just go ahead like this. Less competition.

I became free when i realised the one most important thing: i don‘t need to have children. And i actually dont WANT children😂😂 now my life will start at 30 with lots of money instead of ending with 30 haha

This is great advice for the neurotic. I think it’s probably bad advice for irresponsible people, though, who don’t really know how to budget or support themselves

You are not living in reality. Women in particular have to figure most of it out, or it's a lost cause. That's something that has been the case and will indefinitely be the case, because biology.

@@karolina7067 you must be early 20s. People always think they might not want children in their early 20s, because the pressure is not on. Every woman I know that has passed 30 and does not have kids hates her self. Every man that I know that passes 40 without kids, begins to think he might want them, but he's still got decades to figure that out.

I love your critical comment and the way you approach the issue from different angles. I also love to be inspired by such talks as those, but I'm still fully aware that i'm in different situations and even though I will have done every stage correctly, the outcome may not be the same as theirs. Hopefully, many others watching this can have the same thoughts as you, be inspired but don't be trapped!

Kelli Evans if you're interested, her book "The Defining Decade" actually discusses this in great detail -- through snippets of her sessions with patients and in positing that by taking control of our emotions and developing our confidence, twentysomethings can overcome hardship and adversity in work life and personal life. Absolutely sensational read and (obviously) goes more in depth. Check it out!

I know. It’s just about doing your best, the rest is not in your hands.

This is so true! NOBODY talks about that in the mid 20's people around might start PASSING AWAY! It might be someone from your close family or your friends just anybody. Of course it depends how old are your parents but it just might happend! Cheers!

Indeed. I struggled with mental illness in my late teens-early 20s, then finally seemed to be getting things under control, and my head was full of this kind of advice. I was even tormented by it! Then when I was 27 I had a catastrophic mental breakdown due to one single stupid mistake with benzodiazepines. (After *two weeks* on them, I was addicted... that lasted for five years.) Now, after 12 years of insanity, I'm pushing 40 but my life is okay. Not what it was, but I'm alive. Only my parents' wealth and generosity saved me from the financial ruin that awaits a lot of people in my situation. I'm grateful to them every day. But for so many others...this talk would be even more depressing than it is for me.

Girl you do you!! Everyone has different lives and choices! Im married and happy in my marriage but and I was also happy when I was single and had all the freedom in the world. Enjoy life!!! Its about being yourself and doing what make you feel alive! 💖

kansasgoldilocks live the Life you want, there is no plan, there is no rule that is more important than another one. If you’re happy, that what matters, nothing else 😊

Notice the women's advice in this thread completely sucks. Obviously find a man

If you are 37 and single you by definition have wasted your youth, I guess college and dating was more important than your family

Sorry for the hate you are getting. If that works for you, good on you, just really think about what your older years are going to be like when a lot of your friends will have big families of their own. Not saying your making a mistake, it’s just a decision that at a certain age, you can’t undo.

Now that was a Red Pill.

else you get no alimony

i honestly didnt realize until i was older that a lot of people arent intentional with love. I thought it came naturally, but i guess people just like dating and being in a relationship with no end goal or true commitment.

Awesome story Jimmy, That reminds me of something Businessman Brain Tracy said about his life. He said he had an epiphany at 25 when he realized that anything he would become in life was going to be the result of his choosing and taking action to do so. I still defer back to Einstein when he said: "Everything Should Be Made as Simple as Possible, But Not Simpler." In other words, reduce everything to it's lowest common denominator and STOP COMPLICATING THINGS!

***** Everyone is "shaped" in some degree at 30 by who they were when they were 20 by virtue of the fact that they had to be 20 before they were 30. That isn't rocket science, and isn't what she is suggesting here. Her argument is that not focusing all of your energy as a young adult on the achievement of goals that lie within a narrow cultural definition of "success" will result in a less happy, less fulfilled life. When presented with people obsessed with their perceived inadequacies she suggests that they try harder earlier in life in order to measure up. According to her theory, my early decisions should have represented an unrecoverable loss of "identity capital" as she called it. I think her theory is a recipe for a neurotic super-yuppie who is on prozac by 35 and divorced by 45. I am much more calm, relaxed and happy now than I ever could have been had I lived my life that way.

Jimmy Baggs You were 25 when you changed your life, according to your first comment, so you were in your 20s nonetheless. Your life story actually enforces her idea. What would have happened if you had continued like that well into your 30s?

Ciobotaru Alina But what if he were 30 or 31 when he started school and finished by 34 or 35 and got a career at 35 or 36, does it make him less successful because he changed his circumstance in his 30's? I agree with the doc that 20's we should be shaping our future. But everyone's future and time of success is not the same. Every person that has ever lived has a life that is not promised to how we expect it to be. You can plan that by the time your 25 you will be married. What if that never happens until your 32? Does this mean you've failed?

In regards to marriage..no, it just means maybe you were unlucky or had bad circumstances. But I'd rather know that I did everything that was in my power for things to be the way I planned them if they matter that much to me and that if it didn't happen, it was not the result of my negligence, but of circumstance. And honestly it is way harder to pick yourself up in your 30s than in your 20s. That's because as you age you develop other priorities, For women, for example, starting a family may be a more pressing matter once they get past 35 than continuing their education at college (if they didn't do this while they were in their 20s). I think it's much more complicated and you usually postpone things. In you start in your 30s, you will be benefiting from succes in your 40s, which is later than other people.

under rated comment

Gotta be careful in those school zones

😂😂😂😂

Hahahaha

The cop was a boomer, he doesn't understand the young kids.

Hi! Screenshotting this and saving it to look back at some day. I’m about to turn 20 in a few months and I’m planning my game plan for the next 10 years because I feel like I’ve lost my teenage years to depression, ego, insecurities etc which I’m working on and want to have a plan to not just jump into the waters blind. Thank you so much for sharing your story and I hope at 25 I can look back and be proud of all I’ve done. Thank you!!

Yes by all means continue to be a slave and let 'educated' people talk you into being more productive for the sake of productivity.

​@@marlene6168and how is your life going on now?

👏👏👏 Love the last two lines.

@@jessl8201 lol my life is literally the complete opposite of yours. i'm so glad I withdrew from society.

💓👍

Cool story, bro.

Wow it is awesome how some people get inspired by these talks. Besh wishes !!

Dan Wow!! Yours is a fantastic story. Congratulations to being bold and going for it, despite life's hiccups. Cheers!

How did you do it on your own, unless you married a homeless person and you take care of him? It's a group effort I would think.

I'm 22 and I had the exact same thought watching this!! There's always the overarching feeling of being past our expiration date, and like we've already ran out of time... but it's so ridiculous that we even feel that way because we're just 22/23.....

I'm 29 (so close to 30, it feels ludicrous to still claim 29!) and I also felt incredibly late at 23. It's something everyone experiences at that age. We're gaslit into it and it's paralyzing. I'm so sorry this is still a thing, but you don't have to buy into it. My life is catching up now, nearing on 30, and I'm pissed that I wasted so much time crying and wringing my hands, when I could have been enjoying what was happening in my life at the time (in my case, it was the opportunity to stay home with my children and raise them myself for their first few years - for you, it might be very different) instead, I was obsessing over how my career was stagnating, how my friends were making it, how I was falling behind, how I wasn't advancing in the things that I loved to do and which gave me life! (It was horrible, a total waste of time.) I'd say enjoy whatever stage your at as you're at it. All the best!

I wouldn’t over analyze it, just work hard on doing what you want and if you don’t know don’t stress about it too much. If you are feeling mentally stressed then take time for yourself to try and get healthy again because if your mind isn’t healthy your body won’t be healthy either and you won’t be able to pursue what you want.

wow I am decades older then you my generation was getting their work in and a good number had coupled up at 25 yet I dont think you are out of time get your work in enjoy your youth but remember the clock is ticking your expiration date hasnt come yet but you dont want to be 30+ and clueless which I was/am

I can relate in my culture you’re expected to have a house, career, kids etc by the time you are 30! Otherwise you are a failure and just wasting time. I cried a lot in my 20’s due to pressure. Now I am 33 and I live for me!

So true

Very true. I see people my own age way ahead of me. I than see others my own age way behind me. Everyone catches up sooner or later but we have to go at our own rate and pay no mind to what everyone else is supposed to be doing. It’s only gonna change with time.

This is so true

Right, comparing yourself to others is not good. But I think people should push themselves HARD to be the best they can at what they want to do. Acomplishing challenging goals you set for yourself is what will make you happy. And that only comes with hard work and dicipline.

Comparing yourself to others is the main reason for this generation's depression, fuelled by social media.

Yes! Thank you!

It actually does matter how you spend your time. Its never too late to make a change but man...imagine if you spent time intentionally making changes

I think it does matter! We need to reflect on what we did in the past, areas we need to improve, reflect on our old mindsets, (like, are they still suitable to the current situation or to my future?) I think one thing that is important is that the old, wrong mindset is preventing us from starting a new life. (this is especially important when it comes to the mistakes we’ve made, if we don’t realize our mistakes then in the future we will be trapped in a loop of making similar mistakes without even knowing) If we don’t think differently about our lives and keep living like the old days, I really doubt that we could make a change and our 30s or 40s would be the same as our 20s.

But it does matter. By 40 your career choices are limited, your family choices are limited, even your cognitive abilites (picking up new stuff) are becoming limited.

@@fantasy9917 and? isn't living enough? we are all going to die

I also had health issues and had to care for sick family members in my 20s. They passed away in my 20s, so I didn't have control over timing. this woman is a nasty idiot who is clearly sheltered from reality. As if 20 somethings live in a nice vacuum sheltered from the low points of life. Shame on her.

Can’t express just how much I agree with this comment

You have a strong foundation to go and shape your life as you want/can. Being married with kids before 30 doesn't make one a psychologically stable, self-aware and self-compassionate person.

I love that you go an Associate's degree, there's no need to have student loans!

More strength to you!

❤️

It's funny seeing this comment now, because most of the comments of success (?) people make here do not seem to include this fact. It's as if your comment was swept under the rug because people did not want to hear another perspective.

​@@ksdtsubfil6840 Yes, but stuff like this can make you more reflective about your personal goals and have more insight. It doesn't have to be taken word for word, you can choose what to take from it. Just the general sentiment of being more aware of your limited time and what you visualise for your future was very helpful for me at the start of my mental health journey.

Thanks for mentioning trauma and other limiting factors. I'm in my mid 30s now and needed my 20s to learn how to trust, love and move on after a violent and difficult childhood. She is right when she says that there is not much time for building both, a career and a family if you start late (especially for women). But everyone has different starting conditions and if you need your 20s to get your feet on the ground, gain confidence and stability (not just wasting time!), then that's the very best investment that you can make for yourself.

!!

I agree. This reeks of privilege. It assumes everyone has a choice - we can all find a partner and build up a successful career in our 20s if we want to. Nope. I had mental illness that sucked away my entire 20s and half of my 30s. While everyone else was dating and moving forward, I was just trying to keep my head above water.

" I see so much abuse being hurled at people, usually women, who are still single in their 30s, and it's ridiculous. For some of us, we would have loved to be married earlier, but it just didn't happen for reasons that were out of our control" *Yeah, same and WORST for SHORT MEN!!!*

I love this. I am like you i have had health issues alot of my adult life and have not gotten to do what is normal for others. Thanks for writing this. I appreciate it.

Hey, I really appreciate your comment. I'm 33 and single, and I used to be really stressed out about it. I've been struggling with mental illnesses too and getting through college and starting kind of a career was where most of my energy went to. By 30, all those instagram posts of old classmates getting married and having kids made me feel like I had made some seriously wrong decisions in my life (when deep down I knew it wasn't in my hands). But I realised that a lot of the things i'm doing today (travelling alone, making music, things like that) I probably couldn't do if I had kids at this age. I try to be cool about colleagues and "friends" commenting on the fact that I'm living alone (and, God forbid, going on vacation ALONE) and don't have kids. It's easy to fall into a spiral of justifying your life choices to people (while maybe even hiding the fact that you DIDN'T have much of a choice in certain things), of comparing yourself to other people and of feeling like the odd one out. It's really hard sometimes. Being able to block that bullshit out is a superpower i aspire to have.

Please research fertility more carefully

@@ericb5328 what does that even mean?

Life isn't easy, nor fair. Go through your life in your own tempo and don't let other people rush you. As you say yourself, you'll find your meaning and happiness, no doubt. Cheers mate!

Same here Eric. I agree with you.

@onesoloving1 When I was 10 I got Crohn's and had 2/3 of my colon removed. Since then the side effects from years of medications like steroids and chemo drugs and the effects of arthritis and degenerative disk disease has taken it's toll. Exercise is something I do everyday and it does help. I'm still able to travel for work and give presentations to clients but I know the pain effects my thought process and ramps my anxiety up to a 9 sometimes. I wish getting healthy was as easy as daily exercise and healthy diet!

Hey Eric, I'm in the same boat man....still can't seem to get a solid career and get off the ground because of my medical issues. At 27 I feel like I *might* finally be making progress, but no guarantees. I feel your pain brother. Trying to make the best of it and enjoy life but this fucking sucks.

@@Eric-tq3vn Can I ask what you do for a career? I am struggling with chronic pain (Fibromyalgia) which is exascerbated by the repetitive movement Tic's caused by Tourette's Syndrome. I'm still trying to figure out what I can do for a living. Everything I've tried so far I just end up burning out in 6-9 months from fighting through the pain and exhaustion for so long.

Yes, this is so true. Time passes by so quickly and the temptation to procrastinate is so big when you think you have time.

Unidentified43 All she is saying is the time is NOW get moving!

The problem is that for people out of their 20s, this is horribly depressing.

valar You still have time. I know people who made career changes in their 30s and 40s and are happier than ever for it. I have also known people who met their spouse later in life and adopted kids. There are many paths to life, and anything that was ever worth something takes time.

Oh I know I still have time. I think I'm going to be the cool uncle though, which I'm fine with. I'm quite tired after spending 20 years struggling with mental illness and addiction, and I would like a relationship but only with someone who doesn't want kids or has kids past the crapping your pants stage. I am starting on a new career path too, built on my own experiences in an area that society has massively dropped the ball on.

Yup

The problem is when you are young, you are constantly pushed and influenced by those older than you to make certain decisions they feel like you should be making. I remember I was criticized so much for every choice I considered, I chose nothing and did nothing until everyone gave up on me. So it's not like we all have unlimited options and parents, and people around us are all supportive and will give us anything we want. The funny thing is, once you get older, people don't care anymore and then you are free to live your life how you want.

I agree. I'm 32 and I had so many opportunities in my late teens and 20's but were ruined by people in my life. And my low self confidence afterwards. If I had of had good influences and positive people (which I yearned for) I know my 20's would've been spent on the correct career path. 😔

jessdaisy & Blossom Yes, I went through a similar experience as you both. Now in my mid-30s, I find myself looking to middle age, and there are real positives on the horizon when you think about it. You won't get everything you wanted, instead you are called to play the cards you've been dealt as best you can. To start from where you are and with what you have, which is more interesting I think. No more outside pressure or people on your back (speaking as a single non-parent here). No more milestones to worry about meeting either. It's open seas. So in a way, it's the best time to explore your creativity, and with so much life experience supporting you now, you're more secure & grounded. You don't flail in fits & starts like you did in your youth. Middle age offers its own potential, you just won't get the storybook you once expected. Which is fine because we're here to live life, not a storybook ❤🤙

@@QuietlyCurious up likl oil

@@Blossom-ne4bk just cause we're in our 30's don't mean our life is over. It just means you should be a little more balanced now, still have some of your youth but with the wisdom to know the difference. I'm 32 myself, keep your head up, stay strong, and keep a higher standard than you did in your 20's and you'll be fine.

Exactly I don't care for this TED Talk. Success is not linear. There are people who get success in their 20's and lose everything a decade later. There are other people who don't succeed when they are young but have a ton of success when they are older.

I felt the same way when I first saw this TED talk in my early 20s. Now I'm in my early 30s. It felt like her point would have been better made if she wasn't generalizing her message to all twenty-somethings, assuming that all of them were already wasting their lives. It was like a parent talking down to a whole generation. 10 years later I can say that I had forgotten about this TED talk, except for feeling like it talked down to me. It did not help my growth in my 20s.

Amen. I spent my 20s in and out of hospitals. I’m incredibly behind on all of the supposed ‘life goals’ and that really used to depress me, but I’ve learnt now that I just have to go at my own pace.

I hope you are healthy and happy now

@@trinidadraj152 yeah i get this video is suppose to be encouraging to not wait around because time will pass by but it does peg the question in how a therapist would help someone who is going to hit a lot of milestones a lot later than normal and most of it wasn’t their own doing.

My mom passed at 43. She married my father at 20, had 3 kids by 28, was a home owner by 30. I feel like I have failed in life because I have accomplished none of the above at 30. I always wanted to married and have children after I graduated college but I’ve never met any men worth settling down with.

@@thatlovegirl12 You certainly haven't failed in life and still have a lot to look forward to. In the end there are no medals given out for living life one way or another.

@@thatlovegirl12 you should consider men arent intereted in your money or Status if it come to getting a wife. All they care is your look and would you be a good mother. If your look wont get better with time you may consider to lower your standard.

@az_koala I think if the men's salariy isn't enough to pay all the bills, you might want to reduce your expenses. I mean a woman's income is kind of unreliable. If she's pregnant for example, her income would be zero. And if she decide to stay home and look over the kids who's gona pay the bills?

@@thatlovegirl12 wow, you can't give up that easy. Move to a bigger city or join the military

Same here friendo

20's are the most confusing and easiest to get influenced by people like the speaker. Happiness comes from knowing oneself, then live is so much easier :)

I’m 44 yrs of age, 20’s were teaching carrier, got married at 29 and had two babies at 32 and so glad I made the decision.

You're a man. She's not talking to you. Women hit the wall at 32. We don't hit our stride until 44/45. Notice she never said "Craig" or "Bobby"

@@anzwarthegreat9489 I am a woman. Just because I use this profile pic, doesn't mean I am a man.

Yappie Kitchen and zero children

What's your career ?

If she will try to have kids they will be retarded most likely due too the eggs being old

And if you want children, your career is going to have to end. You can't have it all!

That worked for You.

advice for men and advice for women are polar opposites, for good reason.

What were your kind of bold decisions? :)

you got nothing but time honey! capitalize on that, start saving.. do something, otherwise be ready for mid life crises which comes around 40-50.. oh god it's not gonna be fun.

See you in 3 years. I think you'll feel different.

Had you not ignored or ghosted or "friend-zoned" decent blokes in your late teens and early to mid 20s you may not feel like your life hasn't started over yet! Wait til you get to 40 and have 4 cats!

@@johnwest1457 You realize I'm a dude, right?

I was once 27. I'm now a 56 year old man. Youth passes us all by. Time reveals life's mysteries.......20 years too late. It may not seem fair. So, be a good person, and surround yourself with REAL friends. The rest will take care of itself.

Good luck

Going to be 29 this november..but wait why i am writing this in every comment section of every videos i got recommended by youtube and how youtube know i am close to 30 and i am not thinking about turning 29 but getting close to 30..may be i am so afraid of getting old😪

So, you started your career at 27?

@@onelove8593 27.5 to be exact. I graduated from school after working bullshit security jobs.

....if you're a man.

Same here

Brilliant advice.

Thank you

@Major PainDiaz Then you need to learn from David spade. 5.4 and over 300 women.

That doesn't work for females. They are used up in their thirties. Men just don't want an older woman as a wife and a child bearer.

Thanks for sharing. And what about your love life ?

I dont think establishing your career and having fun exclude each other, it's all about finding balance. I went to university and started my career, all the while I traveled a little bit, partied a little bit, studied other things (not related to my career, just for fun). Not much, but enough to not feel like a soulless robot.

Dude! Don't live with that regret, go back to school! I go to school with a lot of 30 somethings, it's possible and if your driven it's a return on investment

Look at all you judging each other like you all have or want the same things out of your meaningless and short life. We are all mortals. It really does not matter. Who will remember you or care about your existence just 10 years after you're gone? No one. Unless you do something grand like Mozart or hugely recognized people. Even then..most young people don't care about them. Just enjoy your life. Many married couples with children are unhappy and hate their early gettinf ready decisions.

@@--M--1111 thats a pessimistic point of view

@@--M--1111 and being mortal is liberating. It really doesn’t play on my mind. Who cares about being remembered, aside from extreme narcissists? Nothing matters. Man is condemned to be free. And its great.

@@--M--1111 dont get in that trap of thinking like you must do something you need to do to be remembered it will bring you only depressing life things happen naturaly and you should have dreams that are more real!

@@--M--1111 exactly, there is no inherent meaning of life so it’s up to you to create your own meaning which is done through being active in your ambitions and intentional in the way you live life which is what the message of this talk essentially is

As someone who never had a relationship, I can tell you they are. Everything else is useless without relationships.

And maybe they were like that one you married them but you thought you could change them. Did you keep yourself in shape or did you not value yourself or partner.

​@@The31YearOldVirgin No, that's just the "wanting" mentality. It's not much different to consumerism.

@@GameFuMaster It's totally different. You can life without stuff, but you cannot live without love.

@@The31YearOldVirgin tell that to the hermit monks who live in isolation. Your suffering comes from desire. As long as you desire things outside of your control, you will forever suffer. If you don't understand that. Then your life is going to be full of pain, guaranteed.

what about now?

I completely agree, she's just making an emphasis on laying a foundation for your future... i feel like people in the comments section are missing that point.

I totally agree.. it's like when people say I have so much time I'll do it later. I'll travel later , get married later, find what I really want to do later. What I got from this is what ever you want to do in life do it now .. find a way achieve, it's okay if you fail, you have more chances now then later !

I'm the same age. And i did see this a while ago. My career and finances have gone well. My health hasn't. And I haven't met good guys in the past, and have compromised. There are things you can try to influence, but can't control.

"Put romantic relationship dead last".. as a guy I could take that advice very well. We have the privilege of being fertile well into our 40s. How well does that advice hold up for women?

And i’m pretty sure that you’ll Soon realize 33 is also very young.

@@hamzamahmood9565 Men aren't eternally fertile, that is a myth. They also aren't eternally desirable as fathers by women who want kids. By 40, a man has about a 30% chance of getting a woman of any age pregnant. Miscarriages, childhood cancers, autism and schizophrenia also rise dramatically in the kids of older fathers (35+). So instead of bitching about what women are doing, I would seriously consider worrying about your own fertility. Nobody is guaranteed fertility, regardless of their age.

@@kp361 not really, autism is more likely passed 40+ males according to an article by healthline and your fertility puts men at 40 as well, also the dramatic increase is 28%

+SpottedTiger89 Stay strong man, your future is way more important imo. You're doing this for yourself, if the people of your age in your life prefer to waste their 20's on 'mindless fun' it's their problem and not worth your time, gotta find new friends that share similar ambition

I feel the same way as well but you are not alone

Your older self will thank you

@@Churlz Or not.

@@LSSYLondon no u

I love this comment. So true.

I agree. The shaping causes alot of anxiety too. Unnecessary

Happy 20th birthday

Wait 'til they really try (just try) to comprehend what mgtow is about and what might have been causing it. And that's not even half of the story because it only uses surface logic, not soul level logic thus making it pretty incorrect in itself for healing and expanding consciousness but it's happening and it might even destroy the human race altogether if it will keep going. Heads might implode but it is what it is.

Yep this talk is about the women go M.G.T.O.W

Beat me to it.

This.☝🏽

Good gawd, MGTOW is ubiquitous these days.

LOL

Lol. Human problems will always be here to stay...but there’s hope. Jesus 😀

@@auraandrei7252 Amen

This was from 2013 tho

@@yoon9521 how dare u

I'd say it really depends. You could end one career at 30 & start fresh because you must've been financially strong. There are many who can't do this simply due to lack of money & so many responsibilities

@@arpit.sharma yes it does depend. However I was not financially strong as you assumed, but I worked damn hard to get out because I was mentally even less strong. I weighed up the pros and cons - more money but zero happiness, or alot less money and more happiness. No brainier.

Just out of curiosity, how long are you paying the mortgage for?

@@Mayral999 it’s my second house so long enough 😂

@thomas anderson don't worry if you are a man you have all the time, you only need to work smart.

lol i just turned 22 and i feel like i wish i had watched it when i was 18... you see the pattern? your still young and can do so much in your 30's

Anyone that didn't hear the same Ted talk when the were in kindergarten wasn't paying attention

@@brianyoung1290 Hey, did I write this a day ago? hmmmmm lol I would have said this to the almost 30 year old. Trish C you need to realize that your sexual market value is almost used up. Every year you compete with a new batch of 18 year olds. Every year that passes you buy the chance of you getting a quality man has slipped through your fingers. Every dude that pumps and dumps you makes you less valuable. Truth is what it is and the Wall is undefeated.

@@steeltown825 And what if you're still a virgin at 30? I have no interest in stepping into 'the game' though, I don't do dating apps and websites and all that. I just want to meet someone outside all of that the way that things used to happen before all such things existed. Dating apps and all that have made it all like some competition. Things can't progress naturally that way. That's how I see it anyway.

Ben Chang Facts! man or woman it’s a wild world so if you have drive and tenacity push yourself for better things and better people. The broken woman are 3rd wave fems, the broken men mgtow leave them be... and be your best self no matter what. Anything in life can happen. My mother married young and was a widow young as a result of tragic accident, yet she persevered. Fem3rd/MGTOW just two different sides of a very bitter coin. Evolutionary biology will deal with them for sure.

a powerful advice!

As a 21 year old doing something I dislike, yes! It really builds character.

True, it's about the challenge. Getting out of the comfort zone!

Traveling inspired the ideas that started my first successful business venture, definitely didn't come home empty!

What is a meaningless experience? This is putting people into boxes. Society and pair pressure to become a mediocre and do what all people have to do (according to the norm). Everybody has the right to live their life as he or she wants. Moreover what she says it is not true, neuroplasticity and the capacity of the brain to form new neurons and connections happens all along the lifetime

She's referring to hypergamy. She's basically acknowledging that a woman should always marry up, not down or even equal. This is why a lot of lower class men never get married. There's also a flip side to that coin. Some women look to far up and never find anyone, or mistakingly marry for money and get divorced after 2 years and then the kid grows up in a broken home. Gen X's are infamous for doing this. They should be called the divorced generation. She's not making it aware that if you look to far up, you may not find anyone. And with all do respect to Meg Jay, millenialls are tired of the previous generation telling them how to think and what to do. The truth is society is changing and family dynamics are changing, and this is not by choice, but environmental. This woman is way behind the ball either because she's been sheltered, or her education is not matching up with the times. Increases in cost of living, and increased debt has changed when people get married and when people have kids, if ever. Hello! Wake up! What planet are you from?

LOL, with all due respect, ALL generations are tired of the previous generation telling them what to do. I'm 61, and my 82 yr. old mother still sometimes cannot pass up an opportunity to advise me (and sometimes she forgets that she told me that yesterday, so tells me twice), and since every day may be my last with her, I try to take this with as much grace and gratitude as I can. I can also say that over the years, even back to my 20's when I thought my parents had to be wrong (and just plain dumb!) about just about everything, they've proved to have been right after all. After I married and started my own family, it's amazing how smart my parents got.

Nicolas Israel, you have the reasoning of a FOOL!

Don't worry. I no longer listen to anything women say. Their liberation and freedom has been the death knell of western civilization. They are the problem, not part of the solution. This has always been the case.

Danielle Monique I read this book - all she really wants from twentysomethings to be more INTENTIONAL and to not waste time and be non productive and I did AmeriCorps too. Best decision ever in terms of career development and personality development

Do you have a girlfriend

' ♥ # Y)=00ßß No, but at least I won’t die a virgin. Hopefully a girlfriend will be next, if I can ever get things straightened out in my head.

@@jakeself1911 Helping and consoling those less fortunate than ourselves helps in viewing the world and life in more objective perspective, helps getting us out of our selfish, overly sensitive, and self-sabotaging bubble. Listening to Dr. Jordan Peterson's talks or reading his books could be helpful, too. However, the most important part in figuring my head and heart out is in finding the purpose of my sole existance, which I found where I least wanted it to, therefore I must openly suggest you also try Islam.

@@Lipanj92 I don’t really see myself jumping from Christianity (one Abrahamic faith), which I was raised with, into Islam (another Abrahamic faith). However, I am open to learning the basics of what Islam is about. I’m a very curious person. I’ve watched some videos with Jordan Peterson. On one hand, he’s a tough love sort of guy, which I probably need. On the other hand, sometimes he goes a bit too far, and winds up being abrasive.

It's honest, real and good people like you who have indirectly helped me stay alive because I am constantly bombarded by unrealistic ideals. Nobody is a failure because they didn't do something by a certain age. I have nothing in my late 20s but I've not killed myself and I'm good person. Thank you.

Your whole life pokes holes in things, not just your 20s, and at the end you're just a name on a tombstone. So where is everyone going in such a hurry? You're in a race that you can't win.

kiwibrown y'all gondie

"go with the flow" is never a good idea.

we all live under social patterns' pressure, that's why lots of people are stressed.

Why do you think marriage ends in divorce 50% of the time? That's an easy one. Simply because divorce is the best financial operation in a woman's life. She gets house, all belongings, kids and a slave working for her the rest of his life. Actually that 50% estimate is quite low, real number are higher.

Pablo Fontecilla lool really?

Leyla, it's real. Real numbers are about 75-80 percent, and most men in those cases end up paying alemony.

Thank you! Completely agree

Aliquo yes!!

Ate you really happy or are you like most of those "successful" corporate woman whose only company is the cat or the duck

The "bumming around" strategy might work for men, but women don't have the luxury of bouncing around for a decade if they have serious interest in husband, family, and a more predictable life down the road. A man can recover nicely and at least satisfactorily from a decade of wasted 20s, but most women will not fare well after basically goofing off during her prime years.

@@kevinc3342 Yeah, because all women are ALL the same and think the SAME...🙄

Agreed.

I think any advice for people to live more "adult" is just a bullshit to make you grumpier and grumpier no matter age so you can think you are mentally older when you're actually just more annoying in general and stuck up tight with what is really life in living which is fun and not... boring. I see too many people indoctrinating themselves into being more "grown up" and ending up so much tight and boring to others and to themselves, living miserable lives for not taking up possibilities and opening up to opportunities (end up living in the same city they were born, never travel for more than 2 months and never overseas, with time becomes difficult to revert this situation and the so called old grumpy is going to be the limited personality of such person. There are 90 year olds who live and tell they never stopped living their 20's no matter what age they reached they grown up very enthusiastic life-fulfilled happy individuals (with much less prone to have neurodegenerative diseases, the own mind destroys itself if you try to become "too tight"... dementia, parkinson, alzheimer... This video is a bad advice!!! Period

Mostly I find her advice depressing because i'm 33 and only started my career at 29 and don't want a husband and kids so... what is my life then, in this philosophy?

Rea84 I think the point is not kids or being married, but going for your goals. If you feel like you’re getting there and not wasting time then you already have the idea

perfectly put

Look at all you judging each other like you all have or want the same things out of your meaningless and short life. We are all mortals. It really does not matter. Who will remember you or care about your existence just 10 years after you're gone? No one. Unless you do something grand like Mozart or hugely recognized people. Even then..most young people don't care about them. Just enjoy your life. Many married couples with children are unhappy and hate their early gettinf ready decisions.

Our brains (especially the frontal lobes) develop until 25 they say... For me it was more like 27 as well.

Well im glad you eventually woke up. A lot of the older people on here are in denial and find this message depressing probably because they wasted their 20s.

So change! Its never to late to make new decisions. You just have to do it. We continue to learn and grow and change till the day we die that is our reality.

Time to accept Jesus as your lord and savior Without Jesus you are blind and can’t see spiritual truth Find a nice church with a pastor Learn the Bible Jesus is the only way to the father god So search for truth you will find it

I feel you man but honestly life is pretty good, I've spent years living in third world countries either in the military or volunteering and I'm guessing you're either an American or european fellow and trust me your life is great. good luck brother 👍

It’s never to late to move forward. Don’t let anyone else make you feel less because you haven’t “achieved” something yet.

Life isn't about feeling great about horrible personal decisions. Congrats on the lesson.

I get a small stipend. It's enough to sustain myself temporarily.

I'd like to run the kind of company I work for now

Did you already have the money required to "live", travel or "spend time with yourself" in your 20s?

if I was 20 again I would work and save enough to go on a gap year and travel when I see young backpackers I would think about what I was doing at their age question why I wasnt doing that

@@obviouslyasockpuppet I see young backpackers staying in hostels and going on working holidays dont think you need to be rich

A goal and no time kzfaq.info/get/bejne/hdt6mdimkt2zl4E.html

Tonixxy men have time. Women dont

@@soaceba no they dont,lmaooo.. that is a lie men like to tell themselves

@@princessbibian1504 Well, There's a reason why it's common to have an older men with younger women than older women with younger men. ;) seniority in men are attractive, on women, they are viewed as left over damage goods.

@@soaceba it's the opposite, older man can provide better because they are already on the peak of their success, plus, men tend to be more attractive in their 30'. The opposite is for women, it's better for them to date while they're young! It's a fact, let's see it with logic instead of feelings or what is more acceptable... Life is not politically correct.

@Mebrice Depace it will be fine indeed. Because fine isn't being married or have a career. Its living your life on your own terms not from other people's perspective.

@Mebrice Depace Being content and grateful doesn't mean ignoring reality. Grateful people smile more. Grateful people hold the door for you, help when you drop your grocery bag. Grateful people are attractive. They're not selfish or self-centered. They look outwards not inwards. If given more they give more.

@Mebrice Depace don't worry, alot of people will rail against you for saying a fundamental truth in life that time stops for no one. it's uncomfortable for people to hear and therefore they view those who speaks it as antagonistic in their lives. Your twenties is a time for growth, don't waste it on indulgence and stagnation, begin the journey of building up the foundations of your life, work on your happiness, don't be discouraged on the mishaps along the way, and value the people you will be meeting in your journey. Don't waste It less you build a life vulnerable to the savageness of time.

Love this comment

maybe we should be grateful but also try the best of life, understanding it is not for ever

Don’t you think everyone wants to learn their lessons early in life? Your comment is unrealistic. Everyone’s journey and circumstances are different.

I learned at 25 not to leave righteous comments in YT comments

@@BoyNamedTim XD

My cousin, she died at 46. She never got to 50.

Tau Noctua I'm so sorry you lost your cousin.

Doesn't count for women. That's men's advice. As a woman you should secure a guy before you end up like many women putting out some rationalization hamster about how the 30's are the new 20's. They're not. Biology doesn't care about your socialization, with 40 it's set and match for your chance to get a real family so keep that in mind. Also no guy goes for a 30 year old when he can have the 20 year old.

Enjoy the cats in your late 30's cupcake...😂

Hows your personal life though? Do you have a husband and kids?

I completely agree. Samantha. This past year, at 58, I filled my backpack and headed to Ecuador to do some environmental research volunteering.. don't know Spanish.. not a scientist.. but as I get closer to retiring from my day job I'm pushing for a new world.. and it is most definitely out there. Love your name btw ;)

your globalist masters have taught you well

YES.....those lyrics were very sharp.

His early life before Darkside is where these lyrics originated. He was already 30 years old when Darkside of the Moon was released. And now 310 million dollar net worth. Not bad for missing the starting gun. Amazing life(s) he's had.

I love Pink Floyd.

Possibly my favourite lyric ever :) so true too

Heard that line for the first time at 15. If i only knew 😂

Don't throw yourself off a cliff. You aren't defined by external superficial things like what job you have, how much you make, marital status, looks, etc. All those things are fleeting and temporary. I am almost 31 as well. With regard to the things I'm supposed to have, I have a good paying job, but so what? Does it bring me happiness...no. The money I make allows me to do stuff that brings happiness. Are there jobs out there that could? Maybe. Do I want to put in the effort to look for a new job? No. If you want your life to look different, by all means go do what you need to. But if you can't completely accept yourself in the present moment, it will be hard to once you've "made it" in life. Then you'll be relying on circumstances to bring you happiness and circumstances are are inherently unstable. I haven't been married or had kids. I might like to be married, but I don't want kids. But, I don't allow those things to define me.

Adam Halperin Have you by any chance heard or read Eckhart Tolle? What you say is exactly what The Power of Now is written about. Amazing is your answer :)

Nidhi Patel Haha...yes indeed. As you can tell he has had a major influence on my life since I discovered him 2 years ago. He is my favorite spiritual teacher and one of my heroes. I'm glad you're a fan as well.

I discovered him at the end of last year and I can say that he, indeed, changed my life in a matter of two months! Had been suffering so much, I did not know how to feel joy. He is an amazing spiritual teacher :)

Nidhi Patel That's so great. I believe that he is truly enlightened.

I wasted 14 minutes of my life waiting for her to say "you're special". She didn't even say that straight, but instead did a lot of hemming and hawing. She should be a politician. I bet the liberals would love her... Oh wait, they already have Marianne Williamson and Kamala Harris, who basically say the same things, only mostly to women and blacks.

Mike Drop!

marriage and children are optional but some path to a reasonable income is a necessity, not optional. Thats a career for most people. The thing about marriage and children though, while optional, is probably the path to happiness for the majority of people. I think alot of this generation has fooled themselves that it isnt a requirement for them. There are outliers but its not 50% or more that can be happy without a family. I think its in our genetics and nature and were trying to fool ourselves.

Women have a biological clock you have a certain time frame to have kids and even find the perfect mate for marriage, you can learn a career at any age but not have kids this is what women don't understand once your beauty fades and hit the wall it's over.

"Dog parent"?? 😂😂😂😂

Excellent now get to a good church accept Jesus as your lord and savior Start reading the Bible

You did great

im happy for you,God bless you and your wonderful family

Please dont fleece the guy. We dont want another statistic

@@waltermromanoff349 Hahhaahhaah nonsense

+Theresa Dinh YOU DON'T NEED TO !!!! :) With 19 I did not even know how to shave - how was I supposed to know about career / partner / kids, etc....? I did not know and I did not care. Now I am 36, cool job, cool live (without kids). F*&% it, try on many hats (job-wise, not men-wise... or if you do the latter: get rubbers first!!). If you wanna make everything count, you'll have your first mental breakdown with 25 and your first heart attack with 38. Easy...

Move to a different city. Study something related to mathematics, engineering, or programming.

You’re scared at exactly the most opportune time

Your lucky

Ignore her, save yourself. Yes, you have to worry about a job and a solid foundation, and you should try and spend some time meeting guys to have an idea what it is you want from a job and a relationship. Don't think of it as a tick box exercise. Enjoy your time. Not marrying / having kids is far superior to marrying the wrong guy and having kids with him at the societally optimal time.

Lol 😂

Royal Abstraction im assuming since shes a woman, very unpleasant

John Smith thats cause youre a psycho

A good revelation. Plan your goals and write an action plan.

Be glad that you heard this now, while you still have a little bit of time. Winter is coming.